Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Warning: Torture.
Mindless Babble:
It had been a week and there had been no change in Duo's condition. Sally had mentioned that sometimes patients like the braided pilot responded to outside stimuli. So Duo's friends took turn reading and talking to him. Sometimes Quatre would play his violin and Trowa would play his flute. Nothing seemed to help though.
Heero sat on the windowsill in Duo's room. It was his turn to be with his friend. He looked over at the bed. Tora hadn't moved from Duo's side since he had been brought in, except to use the litter box. Today she had wiggled her way under her "daddy's" hand, as if she were trying to get him to pet her.
Heero looked back down at the book he had been reading. Duo had given it to him last Christmas, saying that it was one of his favorite authors. After reading this book Heero had gone to look for others. He found that he liked all of the books that this man had written, but the book he held in his hands still remained his favorite. He read his favorite passage out loud.
Then a woman said, Speak to us of joy and sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. [1]
Heero like this passage because it reminded him of Duo. The purple-eyed American always seemed so full of joy and happiness. What sorrows could have carved out such a huge basin for all that joy? Another voice cut into his thoughts, making him jump. It was a raspy voice but the words were spoken clearly.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.[2]
Heero sat, surprised, looking at Duo, watching him try to sit up. Snapping out of it, he hopped down from the window and rushed over to help. He propped up some pillows behind Duo and helped him slid back to rest against them. Tora's sudden (and loud) rumbling purr filled the room. Duo reach down and briefly pet his furry little friend.
"Read the rest, Heero. Please."
"Why? You seem to know the whole thing." Heero couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
Duo smiled. "Yes, but you make it sound better. Besides, it'll give me some time to get my thoughts together."
Heero shrugged and continued reading.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.[3]
"Heero, will you help me into the living room?" Duo asked after the Japanese pilot had closed the book.
Heero nodded and asked, "Did you want me to get your shirt?"
Duo shook his head. "No. Just help me get into some pants."
If Tora could have laughed, she would have had tears streaming from her eyes. The Gundam pilots may have been graceful in space, but not so in trying to get a pair of pants on. It really wasn't their fault. Duo was dizzy after being in bed so long and Heero had no experience on helping. another put on their pants.
Finally, they got it together and started to make there way to the living room, Tora following close behind. Heero was wondering why Duo wanted to go shirtless when there was a layer of snow outside. That was when he noticed the scars across his friends back.
Quatre, Trowa and Wufei were already in the living room, enjoying the roaring fire. They all stood when Heero, who was supporting Duo, walked in. The braided boy motioned to the fire and Heero carefully guided him to sit in front of the hearth. Duo sat sideways so the fire lighted up his profile. Tora curled up next to him, enjoying both the warmth of her owner and the heat from the fire.
The five Gundam pilots sat back down and stared into the fire for a long time before Duo broke the silence. His voice was still a little shaky, but not as dry sounding. Heero had gotten Duo some water to drink while he went to find a clean pair of pants. (Not an easy task considering the constant state of the 02 pilot's room: messy.)
"I need to talk about what happened, but if you don't want to hear it, I'll understand. But you guys should know that all of you were there in that room with me, helping me to stay alive."
"Maxwell, for you to speak to us of such a personal thing is a sign of your strength and your trust in us. I, for one, am grateful for that trust and hope that I may be able to lend you some of my strength to help you get through this," said Wufei, from his high-backed chair.
"I feel the same way, Duo. You need to talk and we are here to listen and help you."
"Thanks, Trowa," Duo said.
"I'm just happy to here your voice again," Quatre said happily. "I hope your laughter will be able to come back after you get this out."
Duo smiled. It felt good to know that his friends, no, make that family, cared so much.
"That stupid system on the new Gundams brought back that time I spent in that room in play by play action it was pretty bad. It felt like I had spent an eternity there. Heero told me it was actually something like five hours only.
"Anyway, they took me to the kitchen, cuffed me and hung me on that meat hook. They stripped me completely naked. 'Easier to work on.' That was what that bastard said."
Duo shifted uncomfortably. He had debated on telling his friends all of what happened. He knew he had to tell someone something, but he didn't know how to and how much to say.
"One of the guard came over and started touching me. I freaked and kicked the guy in the groin. Then I hit him upside the head with my other leg, knocking him out. Another guard tried to restrain me, and got sent flying when kicked him with both of my feet."
Duo turned to look at Heero. "Those were the two unconscious guards that you saw when you came in."
Heero nodded. He had wondered about that.
Duo turned his head back to look at the flames. His voice began to take on a far away tone as he continued with his story.
"That was when the bastard broke both of my legs. He used a boken to do it. Hurt like hell at first. Then came the rest. He started out with the basics- the whip. I lost count after about the first twenty lashes.
Next came the torches and he even had something like Epyon's Heat Rod. He he kept taunting me, sometimes completely forgetting to ask me anything. He just seemed to be enjoying himself.
" After he got bored with burning me, the bastard switched to knives. He made jokes about how he was an artist and I was going to be his 'work of art'. He started to cut into me it hurt so much! I didn't want to scream but I couldn't stop I tried not to "
By this time tears were streaming down his cheek. He scooped up Tora and held her close, as if the kitten could stop the memories. Tora, for her part took it all in stride, letting her soft as silk fur soak up the tears.
The next thing he knew, Duo was being wrapped in a gentle hug. Turning his head, he was mildly surprised to find it was Heero.
"You don't have to finish if you don't want to. At least not tonight."
"I have to, Heero. If I don't do tonight, I may never get the courage to try again. And if I don't get this all out, I I'd go crazy trying to keep it all in."
Heero nodded in understanding, but didn't move from the floor. A few moments later, Quatre joined them in the floor. Then Trowa and eventually Wufei.
"We're here for you, Duo," Trowa said. "Just like all those times when you were there for us."
"Aw, shucks guys! I didn't know you cared." Actually he did know. Duo remembered a strange dream in which he saw his friends worrying about him, but he couldn't remember the details, just a feeling of warmth.
After a pause, he continued with his story. " After all that, he tried strangling me. He'd choke me just to the point that I would lose conscious, and then let go. He did that a couple of times. That was when he got really frustrated with me not saying anything useful."
"He got his knife back out. He asked me one more time where 'they' were and when I didn't say anything, he cut open my arm. He then poured alcohol on the wound, on the exposed nerves. I guess I finally passed out, because the next thing I remember was Heero blowing away the only guard that was still standing."
"Well, Duo, If it makes you feel any better, Heero also made sure that that man will never hurt anyone ever again, " Quatre said smiling.
Duo put on a shaky smile of his own. "I wouldn't doubt it."
"We also have a confession to make," Heero said. "We weren't the only ones watching over you these past couple of days."
"Oh? Who else was " Duo looked up in time to see an angel walk in.
"Duo " Hilde whispered as she dropped to her knees in front of him. She took him into her arms and hugged him fiercely. Duo returned the hug, just as tightly.
"Hilde, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to hear that."
"Why?"
"I was afraid that you would worry too much."
Hilde released Duo and looked at him. "I didn't even know about you until Heero tracked me down on one of the colonies. That was shortly before you went on this last mission."
"Meow?"
Duo looked down at his lap. He had been petting his little kitten and had stopped to hug Hilde. He rubbed the special spot behind her ears that only he knew the exact location of.
"Sorry about that, Baby."
The loud rumbling purr once again filled the room.
"Heero did mention that there was one more trouble maker in the house." Hilde reached down to pet the fur ball.
"Who's the other?" Duo asked shyly.
Quatre burst out laughing. The others soon followed suit. The laughter settled down and a comfortable silence fell, each one of them lost to their own thoughts.
Duo looked around at his friends and sighed. He wrapped his arm around Hilde and pulled her close. At this moment, he was safe and happy with his family.
The young woman looked at the big, black bird on her shoulder. She gestured towards the deep well that stood in front of her. "Do you think we did the right thing, Sleep?"
"Of course! Look at how happy he is," the bird replied.
"But what about his future sorrows?" Death looked back to the well, her eyes coming to rest on the braided boy. "Will he be strong enough?"
"That is up to the Shini-Gami."
END
[1] From "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran
[1] Also from "The Prophet".
[1] Again from "The Prophet".
