Disclaimers: The usual disclaimers and yada yada yada yada...

A/N: This is a plotless one-shot fic and it just suddenly came to my mind. Yeah, I know, the story sucks, but I suggest you read until the ending, pretty unexpected.(and kawaii, if you ask me! )


Where's My Oar?


*Yusuke planned a party the day before and it ended late night so Botan had to sleep over at Keiko's *

Keiko: *wakes up and stretches *What's that noise by the TV? *goes outside her room *

Botan: *watching an exercise program and doing some exercise herself * 1-2-3-4-5-6. Do the moves!

Keiko: What are you doing early morning, Botan?

Botan: *panting * Doing some *panting * exercise. It's good for your *pant * health.

Keiko: You better cut that out. You still got some work to do for Reikai.

Botan: OK. Better freshen up a bit.

*an hour later *

Botan: Time to go to Reikai! *summons her oar but nothing happens *

Keiko: Doushita, Botan?

Botan: I can't summon my oar.

Keiko: You probably left it somewhere else.

Botan: But that's impossible. I don't remember leaving it anywhere. I'll get punished if I don't find it and go back to Reikai.

Keiko: Calm down. Let's find it. You probably left it somewhere around here.

*after minutes of searching Keiko's house *

Botan: It's not here either.

Keiko: Where could it be?

Botan: *sad face *

Keiko: We'll need help. Let's go to Yusuke's house and inform the others.

*Keiko and Botan go to Yusuke's house, minutes later Kuwabara, Kurama and Yukina came. Hiei didn't come. *

Yusuke: You lost your oar? That's pretty weird of you.

Keiko: This is no time to say that to Botan.

Botan: Panic...panic...panic...

Keiko: Anyway, we have to find it.

Botan: Onegai, find it for me.*starts crying anime style * Without it life wouldn't be the same again. I won't be able to fly. I won't...

Everyone else: *narrow eyed *

Botan: Hehe... I thought over reacting would help you...

Kurama: Excuse me, but where do you suggest we find that? This place os big. It could be anywhere.

Kuwabara: That's easy. *brings out a world map *

Yusuke: That's a world map, idiot.

Kuwabara: Shut up, just hear me out. So we're here. *points at somewhere in Japan * We go left first then take a turn here. *points at China * If I make a wild guess I think her oar might be somewhere here, approximately.*points at the Pacific Ocean *

Yusuke: Wow, that could have been a good idea.

Kuwabara: Wrong, it is a good idea.

Yusuke: It was an AWFUL idea.

Kurama: Let's just start here in this city, so we won't look far.

Yusuke: See what I mean, Kuwabara? That's what you call a good idea.

Kuwabara: I suggest we start moving now. I have other plans for the day.

Keiko: !!! What are you doing, Botan?

Botan: *picking up some stuff she thinks might be helpful * I'm preparing things we might need. Who knows what will happen on our way?

Yusuke: Those things are helpful. A flashlight, a mosquito coil, a fire extinguisher???

Kuwabara: I suggest you put food in there. That would be helpful.

Botan: I already did. Let's go now.

*outside Yusuke's house *

Kurama: Let's start with the more obvious places. Where did you last see it, Botan?

Botan: Well, before the party, I remember going down my oar in this street. So I went down near the lightpost, there's a few plants below, in front of the wall with graffiti, on the cement floor.

*they go there *

Yusuke: It's not here.

Kuwabara: Are you sure you left it here?

Botan: I remember it was near the lightpost, then there's a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Yusuke: But why isn't it here?

Botan: I dunno. Where could it be?

Kuwabara: Where did you last leave it?

Botan: Near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Yusuke: Then why isn't it here?

Botan: I dunno. Where could it be?

Kuwabara: Where did you last leave it anyway?

Botan: Near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Yusuke: Then why isn't your oar here?

Botan: I dunno. Where could it be?

Kuwabara: Where did you...*gets interrupted *

Kurama: Stop that. This is going nowhere. Let's move on.

Botan: Hey! I got and idea! *starts running *

Everyone else: Matte, Botan.

Botan: *stops running outside the police station * This is it!

Yusuke: Did you leave it here?

Botan: No, but this will help.*goes inside the police station *

Yusuke: *slaps forehead *

Kuwabara: I sense trouble ahead. Who wants to go with her?

Yusuke: Not me. I'll wait for you guys at home.

Kuwabara: Let's play rock, scissors, paper to see who goes with her.

*the 3 played rock, scissors, paper *

Kurama: *paper *

Kuwabara: *scissors *

Keiko: *scissors *

Kurama: *sweatdrops *

Keiko: We'll wait for you here.

Kurama: *sigh * I guess I have no choice. *goes inside the police station *

*inside the police station *

Kurama: Where could that girl be? Oh, there she is. Hey, Botan!

Botan: So, chief, I'd like to report someone who's lost.

Chief: Ceratainly. Describe that person.

Botan: Well, she's about a little taller than me, she can carry me so I'd say she's strong, she's a lot older than me, she's slim, she's brown...

Chief: *drawing a sketch * Anything else?

Botan: She's made of wood.

Kurama: Eeeep! *covers Botan's mouth *

Chief: Made of wood?!?!?! What are you looking for, anyway?

Botan: Mmmmmphmmphmumph...

Kurama: Ehehehe....we're looking for her oar...

Chief: Her oar? Is this some kind of a joke?

Kurama: Err...yeah...I mean no....um...heheheh...*sweatdrops *

*in the jail cell, where Kurama is in one side of the prison bars and Botan on the opposite side *

Kurama: See what happens, Botan? How many times have I told you not to get in any trouble? Look at yourself now.

Botan: *sad face *

Chief: Shut up! I hope you'll now behave and learn not to make a fool out of policemen.

*so it turns out that Kurama was the one arrested *

Kurama: Botan, next time you visit, be sure to bring me some biscuits. And soap, maybe.

Kurama's inmate: We have soap here.

Kurama: *reaches for the soap with fear and hands shaking *

*outside the police station *

Kurama's voice: Nooooooooooooo!

Keiko: What happened?

Botan: Kurama got arrested.

Kuwabara: Geeeee...I wonder why.

Botan: Well, it was his fault. He fooled around the chief.

*back at Yusuke's house *

Keiko: Let's avoid things that might get us arrested, OK?

Yusuke: Hey! What are you doing with all those biscuits?

Botan: Well, Kurama asked me to bring biscuits to him in jail.

Kuwabara: I'm hungry, too. Let me have some. *grabs a handful of biscuits *

Keiko: So, let's visit Kurama first, then continue looking.

*back at prison *

Yusuke: There he is! Hahahahahahahaha!

Chief: Mr. Minamino, you're free now. I hope you behave yourself next time.

Kurama: Thank goodness. *stares madly at Yusuke *

Yusuke: *stops laughing then whistles *

Kurama's Inmate: Sayonara!

*outside the police station *

Kurama: So, who payed to bail me out?

Keiko: Not me. *looks at Botan *

Botan: Not me. *looks at the boys *

Kuwabara: Do you expect me to spend money on bailing you out? *looks at Yusuke *

Yusuke: Definitely not me.

Kurama: Then, who bailed me out?

*a strange spaceship/UFO appears *

UFO: *fires a tractor beam at the gang *

Yusuke: *avoids the tractor beam *

Botan: *runs but trips over, then gets sucked up by the UFO *

Kuwabara: *gets avoided by the tractor beam * Hey! No fair!

Keiko: *slaps the tractor beam away, so it bounced to Kurama instead * Get off me, stupid aliens.

Kurama: *gets accidentally sucked up by the tractor beam that Keiko just slapped *

UFO: *leaves *

Yusuke: What do we do now?

Kuwabara: Maybe they'll find the oar with the aliens.

Keiko: I hope they'll be alright.

*inside the UFO *

Alien 1 & 2: *making alien sounds *

Botan: *screeching loud *

Kurama: *covering ears * Stop it! You guys are irritating.

Both aliens & Botan: *stops making noise *

Kurama: The facilities are well maintained.

Botan: Where are you from?

Alien 1: We-are-from-a-galaxy-far-superior-from-yours.

Alien 2: Me-too.

Botan: What do you plan to do to us?

Alien 1: We-will-make-you-robots.

Alien 2: Me-too.

Botan: How do you think can "aliens" help in the economy of our country?

Alien 1: So-many-things.

Alien 2: Me-too.

Kurama: ???

Alien 1: We-will-show-you-around-our-robot-factory.

Alien 2: Me-too.

*inside a robot factory on another planet *

Robot: Welcome, masters.

Both aliens,Kurama and Botan: *they ride a weird alien vehicle *

Botan: Wow! This place is huge!

Kurama: The facilities are well maintained!

Alien 1: That-is-where-we-form-feet-and-legs. *points at a machine of some sort *

*further in the factory *

Alien 2: That-is-where-we-form-arms-and-torso. *points at a huge machine *

*still further in the factory *

Alien 1: And-that-is-where-form-the-heads. *points at another stupid machine *

Kurama: Excuse me aliens, but if your life was to be made a movie, who would you like to star as you?

Alien 1: I-want-Tom-Cruise.

Alien 2: Nicolas-Cage.

Botan: Since these things are very technical, may I ask you, when do you wash your clothes?

Alien 1: Once-a-week.

Alien 2: Me-too.

Alien 1: We'll-take-you-back-to-the-spaceship.

*back at the spaceship,where Kurama and Botan are teleported seating on the controls *

Alien 1: Oooops!-Please-press-then-button-again.

Botan: Oh, OK. *presses the button *

Alien 1: Good.-Now-let's-get-back-to-business.

Botan: What do you plan to do?

Alien 1: We-will-make-you-robots.

Botan: You will make him a robot *points at Kurama * ?!?! Hahahahahahaha!

Alien 2: You-too.

Botan: You can't just make me a robot. *hides behind Kurama * We're not going without a fight.

Kurama: Actually, we are. Their Ki is much more stronger than I've ever seen. We'll need to negotiate or something.

Alien 1: We-need-to-make-you-a-robot-that-will-clean-our-bird. *scratches beard *

Kurama: That was pronounced "beard".

Alien 1: Silence.-We're-used-to-saying-"bird".

Botan: Wait! We'll give you this thing from earth. *gets the fire extinguisher *

Alien 1: We-don't-need-that.

Botan: What about this? *gets the mosquito coil *

Alien 2: We-don't-need-that-either.

Botan: How about this? *gives a pack of uncooked spaghetti *

Alien 1: No!-Not-spaghetti.-Or-we'll-be-forced-to-use-our-powers.

Alien 2: Our-vision-is-blurring!

*after a few minutes, Kurama and Botan was somehow brought back to earth *

Kurama: Where did you last see your oar again?

Botan: Near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Kurama: Then why isn't it there?

Alien 1, dressed as Botan: I dunno. Where could it be?

Kurama: Did you cut your hair?

Alien 1: ....Correct?

Kurama: Where did you last see your oar?

Alien 1: Near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Kurama: Then why isn't it there?

Alien 1: I last saw it near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I last saw it.

Botan: Kurama! Have you found my oar yet?

Kurama: !!! Hey! If you are in there, then what are you doing here? *looks carefully at the "Botan" beside him *

Alien 1: ???

Kurama: *knees shaking * HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

*a flying oar then hits the alien's head, killing it in the process *

Botan: Hey look! There's my oar!

Kurama: You saved our lives ummm....HIEI?!?!?

Hiei: *riding the oar * How do you stop this thing?

Botan: You have to stop using your ki.

Hiei: I already tried doing that! Somebody get me down here!

Kurama: Have you tried jumping?

Hiei: I wanted to, but my hands won't let go. I can't stop my ki either.

*after a few minutes, Yusuke and the others found the flying Hiei *

Yusuke: Hahahahahahahahahaha! Hiei looks stupid in that oar and...*gets slapped by Keiko *

Keiko: How many times do you have to laugh today? It's irritating me.

Kuwabara: This looks like a job for a genius like me. Wait there.

Hiei: Oh, stupid, I'd rather sllep than watch you. *falls asleep then falls to the ground together with the oar *

*in Yusuke's house *

Kurama: What were you doing with the oar anyway?

Hiei: Somebody left her oar so I thought I should return it, but then it started flying, so it means this is the last time I'm doing a good deed for you. Stupid guys.

Yusuke: Where did you find it?

Hiei: Near the lightpost, with a few plants below, in front of the wall, on the cement floor, that's where I found it......



A/N : The story sucked., now didn't it? Hehehehe, I just wanted some way to make Hiei ride the oar. He looks cuter that way, and I'm not even a girl, mind you. Anyway, ja!