1 TITLE: One in Ten Million: Chapter 8

AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller

PAIRING: CJ/Simon

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: "The CJ Cregg way…It's the only way."

SPOILERS: None, only the previous stories!

***

He came running, just as she expected him to at the sound of glass breaking against the wall. The perfume from the bottle began to diffuse at an alarming rate, and even before Simon could deduce that CJ had thrown it, the room reeked of the expensive scent.

There was no obvious reason for what she'd done, and as CJ slumped down to the floor in tears, Simon could only stand struck. It was all so sudden; he'd been in the kitchen trying to fight despondency when the sound of shattering glass shocked Simon out of his thoughts.

Reminiscent of a bullet breaking a window, the sound propelled Simon towards CJ's room in half an instant. And when he connected the pieces of the broken bottle with the heavy smell of the perfume, Simon looked to CJ with unprecedented surprise. She was holding her head in her hands, crumpled on the floor, her shoulders heaving with sobs.

Kneeling before her, having never seen CJ cry this way, Simon gently pulled her into his arms. The way her body gave in against his was nearly disturbing and totally out of CJ's character; Simon hardly knew what to make of the situation as he rocked her back and forth.

CJ clutched at Simon's shoulders, holding tightly to his back as she cried into his suited-shoulder. The entire sum of the weekend's events had boiled over, all of CJ's confusion and longings, all of her fears and her needs were spilling out as Simon held her. Secretly glad that he had not asked why she'd thrown the perfume bottle—and with a suspicion that he already understood—CJ allowed Simon to help her up from the floor.

"CJ," he began, his voice a whisper, expression guarded. "CJ…"

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, working to calm her tears, but at the same time almost proud that she'd given in to them. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been."

"It's okay," Simon responded immediately, stroking CJ's hair, afraid to push for more from her.

"It's NOT okay," CJ cried vehemently, picking her head up. At sight of her mascara-stained cheeks, Simon immediately turned them both towards the bathroom.

"It is," he insisted, wetting a washcloth and slowly wiping her eyes clean. "Because I was wrong, too."

Placing her hand over Simon's to still his movement, CJ bit her lip. "How were you wrong?"

Throwing the cloth into the sink, Simon used his thumbs to stroke CJ's cheeks dry. Sighing with self-disappointment, he responded, "I've been acting like an idiot because you don't want to get married. But really I'm just lucky that you looked at me twice."

CJ's short, shy laugh was choked with fresh tears. "Oh, God, Simon, don't even start. There are moments when I feel—when I just know—that you deserve someone better..."

Simon ducked his head for a minute, looking quickly back at CJ. "You're the only one that I want."

CJ nodded, suddenly unafraid of his words. "And you're the only one that I want."

Smiling softly, Simon brought his hands down to CJ's waist. "This explains your perfume bottle throwing how?"

Chuckling with embarrassment, CJ rested her forehead against Simon's. "It doesn't. I can't explain anything you make me do."

Drawing lazy circles on her hips with his thumbs, Simon kept his eyes on CJ. "I don't want to MAKE you do anything, CJ…I never want you to feel like you've got to say or do anything because of me."

CJ took a deep breath, Simon's voice growing more and more comforting. "But I want to make you happy. I really want to be able to give you what you need."

"You do," Simon insisted, feeling slightly guilty for holding a piece of the truth back from her. But it was clear that she felt negatively pressured to get married. It was obvious that CJ couldn't handle the stress, her outburst was demonstration enough. He could sacrifice a little bit just to see CJ calm.

Her forehead still pressed against Simon's, CJ snorted. "If I were making you happy you wouldn't have been upset this morning—or yesterday. And I totally understand why you're upset…except that I don't really understand it at all."

"I wasn't upset," Simon said weakly, uneasily meeting CJ's eyes. When her pointed yet affectionate glare became too strong, he let out his held breath. "Okay, yes, I'm disappointed. But I shouldn't have let it change us…I just want you so badly, CJ…"

"You've got me, Simon, please say that we can work this out," CJ whispered, her eyes unwillingly welling up with tears.

"Shh," Simon smiled as he pulled CJ back into his embrace. "I think we just did."

***

"You're sure it's okay?" CJ asked Toby for the hundredth time, her grin working slowly over her face.

"Yes," Toby gave CJ a pronounced nod, having also answered this question for the hundredth time. As she went back to hi-lighting her notebook, Toby's eyes wandered to CJ's hand.

He could hardly believe that CJ had accepted a ring of engagement from anyone, even if it was Simon Donovan, her Perfect Man. Feeling a bit like a poor sport, Toby had stood quietly behind Josh in Leo's office when CJ had told the staff. Amidst hugs, kisses and congratulations, Toby's amazement grew to the point where he held Simon in extremely high regard; anyone who could get CJ to consider marriage had some serious game.

The President had buried CJ in a hug, Leo's eyes had gleamed happily, Sam hadn't been able to wipe the smile from his face, and Josh was just plain giddy. Everyone liked Simon—Toby included—but not everyone knew CJ the way Toby did; not everyone knew the extent of her fear of commitment.

But Toby did not argue when CJ requested to announce it at the 10 o'clock briefing; Toby did not even ask her why she wanted this, biding his time before starting that conversation. CJ seemed genuinely happy, and if she noticed Toby's newfound quiet, she did not let on.

"CJ?" Carol popped her head into the office, "Time."

"Hey, I'm going back. When you're done, I need you for five minutes," Toby said with a lopsided nod, leaving her office after CJ acknowledged the request.

"Did you call him?" CJ asked of her assistant, gathering her briefing notes with a smile. Carol grinned widely, nodding as she followed her boss. "What'd you say?" CJ asked, her manner making Carol remember being the boyfriend messenger in high school.

"I said—and this is a direct quote—" Carol mocked, "I said 'Simon, CJ would like you to turn on the briefing at ten o'clock.' And that was it."

Stopping briefly before opening the pressroom door, CJ shot her assistant an amused stare. "Thank you," she said, unable to fight the irremovable smile. As CJ swept up to the podium, Carol in tow, the brunette assistant found that same smile on her own face; CJ had told only Carol the full truth—Simon was about to get a wonderful surprise.

***

Simon had gone into work feeling seventy-five percent better than he had after waking up. He was almost fully satisfied with the talk he'd had with CJ; he was almost able to ignore the fact that she didn't want to get married. But then it stared the agent in the face—she really, truly didn't want to be his wife. And that hurt no matter which way Simon looked at it. CJ hadn't meant to hurt him, Simon knew, but it was just a way to keep herself safe—and it was slightly selfish. Fighting feelings of inadequacy and trying to remember that CJ was still in his life full time, Simon answered the phone.

After a brief exchange with Carol, Simon flicked on the television in the office; he was behind on work for the convention detail and didn't really have time to watch CJ's briefing. However, he assumed, there could be an important announcement related to the convention.

The briefing wasn't long, and as the questions slowed down, Simon sat puzzled. CJ hadn't said anything at all related to the convention or the Secret Service. About to click the set off, the question rang out, catching the agent's full attention.

***

CJ had kept her left hand resting over the side of the podium during the briefing, hoping and almost knowing that one of the reporters would ask about the ring. She was depending on that catalyst to get her plan rolling, and as the briefing wound down, CJ was about to announce her engagement without a reporter's prompting.

"Since we're wrapping up, would it be okay if I asked about the diamond you're sporting?"

Katie to the rescue, CJ smiled, meeting the interested reporter's eye. "Yes, for once, you can ask about my personal life," CJ joked, cocking her head with a grin. "I do have an announcement to make about that."

"Are you engaged to Simon Donovan?" another reporter called out—grins were passed around the room, as the entire press Corp knew Simon from the weeks that he'd spent at the White House with CJ. It had been quite a sweet human interest story that some reporters had written after he left her detail—their relationship was also the good kind of publicity that the Administration liked in the press.

"Well," CJ began with the knowledge that Simon was watching, "Simon did propose to me this weekend."

"You said yes?" Chris called out. CJ smiled wider, completely aware of just how much the Press Corp was enjoying this. Her private life was always of interest to them, especially lately, and it was nice for once to indulge them.

"I didn't say anything, but I think I've made him sweat it out for long enough. I'm actually saying yes to him right now," CJ nodded, looking quickly at Carol for a bit of support.

"On TV? That's the way CJ Cregg WOULD do it," Mark laughed, sending chuckles up around the room.

"Yes, Mark, the CJ Cregg way," CJ kidded, nodding her head slowly. "It's the only way."

To greater laughter and a chorus of congratulations, CJ formally ended the press briefing until five o'clock; practically bounding out of the pressroom, CJ grabbed Carol's arm and pulled her along.

"Did I do okay?" she asked with a cry, stopping her grinning assistant abruptly.

"Yes!" Carol responded with a laugh. "Smoother than I expected…Go—I bet he's gonna call you…"

CJ was off down the hallway, vaguely remembering that Toby wanted to see her. Screw it, she thought happily, I'd rather talk to my fiancé. *