Authors Notes: I was supposed to update some other fics before this one, but this one is getting the most reviews, hehe. Broke my wrist now :'( so sorry if the updates are a little slow,

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The giant chicken must have been 3 stories high! (A/n: ha!) They all looked up in complete shock. "See, I told you attacking three story high chickens is not smart." Gandalf of course.

The chicken attacked leaving hardly any room for the defenders to defend in the little alcove. Legolas fired his arrows and tried everything to stop the chicken, but it was obviously not a maple leaf prime chicken because it was not lean at all, they even doubted whether it went to gym or not!

Everything ricocheted off the chicken's mass of fat as it kept advancing.

Frodo took a giant spear and lunged at the chicken, to no avail. Having angered the chicken Frodo was trapped behind a large birch bark tree.

The giant chicken lunged in for the kill…

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Rose was dragged off to the first class area by Jack who gently placed her on her sleeping bag, luckily Cal wasn't there, he did not know what he would have done about that.

He could just imagine it now, Cal walking to see Jack Dawson in his tent and drunken unconscious Rose on his or her sleeping bag, he shuddered at the awkwardness, just then he heard a noise outside the tent.

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The chicken stabbed Frodo with his own giant spear and Frodo let out an exclamation of pain.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam screamed across the clearing running straight towards him, but Aragorn held him back, seeing as the chicken was still alive and all.

Just then timely intervention had arrived. Legolas had climbed a VERY tall tree and had jumped on the chicken's head, who looked up in surprise. Legolas shot an arrow straight into the beak of the chicken causing it to convulse.

He jumped back onto the tree just in time, as the chicken began to sway, all the people on the ground began to run frantically around, trying to get out of the way of the soon to fall chicken.

"TIMBER!!!" called Gandalf, ever the one to have the last word, as the chicken tumbled to the ground, knocking out a small forest.

After the crashing stopped they all ran over to Frodo lying in a heather (a/n:hehe) bush.

"Mr. Frodo!" exclaimed Sam

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Jack quickly ran out the tent.

(A/N: Yes that WAS VERY sad.)

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Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, Frodo groaned and got up.

"Aha! There is more to Hobbits than meets the eye!" Gandalf exclaimed and to Frodo's surprise Gimli, Legolas, Boromir and Aragorn all handed him ten bucks mumbling about 'stupid wizards'.

Frodo opened his tunic to reveal a chicken fat piece of armor.

The entire company went "Ohhhh, no wonder he stinks so much."

"He has armor, but now he need armoire!" Gimli burst out laughing.

"For a 'manly' dwarf you know a lot about perfume Gimli." Legolas laughed as Gimli turned bright red.

Then they all went to bed and had various dreams about explosions and video shoots.

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Authors Note: I know I focused on the LOTR more, but I needed to get that night over with, I mean what else was going to happen at the Titanic?

Discliamer: I only own:

-The plotline

-The chickens and anything chicken related EXCEPT the Zelda quote

-My cast, whom my alter ego Geeva lovingly named Getto della porpora del heather

!!~~Heather