My Most Unfortunate Love


Summary: One girl was his ex; the other, his best friend. They were in love. Harry was stuck in the middle, and hopelessly in love with one of them. contains f/f slash, Hermione/Cho. Harry's POV.

Rating: PG-13

***

Every night for the past several months, I've dreamed the most wonderful dream.

We'rd in the common room together, alone, working on homework. Suddenly, she'd stop studying for once, and would put her book down. "What is it?" I'd ask, startled.

"Harry...' she'd breathe thickly, "I have to tell you something."

I'd look at her, a hopeful thought suddenly filling my brain. "Yes?"

She'd look deeply into my eyes, then suddenly lunge toward me, pushing her lips onto mine. I'd return the passionate kiss, which would continue on for a long, pleasant period of time. "That," she'd say, breathing hard and breaking the kiss, "explains it all."

"Oh, I love you, too," I'd moan, and then we'd walk upstairs to her room, trying to temporarily keep our hands off each other. We'd arrive, and things would progress from there. I'd put my hand up her shirt...

And then, every morning, I wake up.

It's a foolish dream, really; it's a man's testosterone combining with his romantic dream. Besides, Hermione would never throw herself on another man like that. That's not the issue. Hermione's in love with someone else. And it's a woman; my former girlfriend, Cho.

Before I was in love with Hermione, I was infatuated with Cho. She was beautiful, smart, and capable of kicking my ass at Quidditch. But most of all, she was gorgeous.

I was still guilty about Cedric's death, but on the other hand, it meant that Cho was single. Bravely, I asked her out early in fifth year. She accepted. We went on a pleasant, if uneventful date to a coffee shop at Hogsmeade. We went out for four months or so, and I lusted after her beautiful, er, eyes the entire time, but we never really had any chemistry.

Early on, I introduced Cho to Ron and Hermione. Cho and Ron never took to each other, but Hermione and Cho became fast friends. They both loved to study, and Hermione loved to learn material a year ahead of her grade. Soon, they spent more time together than I did with Cho.

Hermione was always supportive of our relationship. During the time I dated Cho, we'd swap stories about her late at night. We grew closer during that time and found ourselves separating ourselves more from Ron.

Near the end of my relationship with Cho, I knew it wasn't working out. She knew, too, and the split was on the friendliest of terms. Hermione continued to spend a considerable amount of time with Cho, but when they weren't together, I began taking walks with Hermione. I was completely alone with her, while Ron went off with his sister.

The attraction had already been growing while I dated Cho. I looked for a connection with a girl, a connection a couldn't make with Cho. Then I thought about all the time I'd spend with Hermione during my months with Cho and our walks...how amazing she'd been, how much we'd connected. That was it; the girl for me had been right by my side all along.

"Isn't it amazing how we never fight?" I asked her one time on a walk.

"Never," she said, smiling. "Ron's the fighter."

"Let's ditch him," I joked, and we shared a laugh.

"But I think we have, temporarily," she said smiling back and coming to a stop. She looked deeply in my eyes, and I couldn't help but look back. "Harry...I just want you to know you're my best friend. Whatever happens, I'll always be there for you."

"Mione..." I trailed off, deeply moved. Hermione rarely got so sentimental. I put my arm aroud her shoulders as we walked back to the common room. "I'll always be there for you, too," I finished, as we went to our separate sleeping quarters.

It was official. I was deeply in love with Hermione, frizzy hair and all. She wasn't as beautiful as Cho, but there was something in her that completed me that Cho and I never had together. I had to tell her how I felt.

It was another month or so before I finally gathered the courage to tell her. It was dusk, and we were alone together. I sat on a bench in a small area near Gryffindor. Hermione, who obviously had the same idea, followed suit.

"Hermione," I said, while at the same time she said, "Harry." We laughed, easing some of the nerves I felt.

"Hermione, there's something I need to tell you," I continued. "Something important."

"Really?" she said, surprised. "I have something to tell you, too."

"Well," I said, gesturing with my hand, "you can go first."

"Are you sure?"

I smiled. "Ladies first!"

Hermione sighed nervously. "Harry, you know Cho and I have been good friends for a while, right? And how we spend a lot of time together?"

I nodded in acknowledgment, not thinking much of it. "Yeah. I think it's great you're such close friends." I meant it. I still had a high opinion of Cho, even if our relationship hadn't worked out.

"Um...see.." She sputtered, pausing. "Well, you see, we're kinda not really friends."

I was confused and perhaps a bit dense. "Um...well, what are you, then?"

She lowered her eyes. "Cho and I are in love."

I opened my mouth, shocked and horrified. Fortunately, she was still looking down and didn't notice. I quickly composted myself. "Wow, Mione...I had no idea," I said, steadying myself. "I- I'm glad you've found such happiness with Cho."

Hermione smiled at me. "You- you mean, you're not upset? That we're lesbians?"

"No, Hermione, of course I'm not." Just upset you don't love me, I thought to myself.

She walked up to me and hugged me. "Oh, thank you, Harry!" I returned the hug, temporarily delighted to be in Hermione's arms. Impulsively, I kissed her on the cheek. I don't think she noticed.

Calming herself, she sat down next to me. "Harry...so, what was it you wanted to tell me."

I plastered a smile on my face. "Oh, never mind, Mione," I said. "It wasn't important."

Now, a year later, the pieces all fit together. Hermione had never shown much interest in men and had turned down everyone who'd wanted to date her, including a shocked Ron the summer before fifth year. Hermione and Cho are completely out now, and I see them kiss on a regular basis. It's painful.

Soon afterwards, I think Hermione knew something was wrong. Fortunately, she probably chalked it up to stress of the upcoming NEWTS. Ron, who was always oblivious of this sort of thing, never noticed my distress. Being long over Hermione, he took the news with the blink of an eye, barely even noticing.

Meanwhile, I started dating other women, but none of those short relationships worked out well at all. First came Ginny, who still had a slight crush on me. Then there was Hannah Abbot, a kind Hufflepuff, and finally, in my most desperate moment, the fling with Pavrati. They all paled in comparison to Hermione.

I want to forget about it all, but the dream constantly reminds me how much I love her. My realistic side reminds me that Hermione's a lesbian, and she's deeply in love with Cho. My whimsical side says that someday she'll fall for me. I'm caught in the middle of it all, and it's no one's fault.

Perhaps this unrequited love is just my cross to bear, my unfortunate curse. Everyone has one. I think of the one time I kissed her one the cheek, and how wonderful it was.

But then again...maybe there's another girl out there for me, one I haven't discovered. We'll find each other, and I'll forget I ever loved Hermione. She'll stand by my side and be a wonderful wife and mother. Yes, I hope this will happen.

But until then, my dream will haunt me every night.

***

Author: Hmm...definitely angsty! I didn't mean to make it quite so angsty! This is my second f/f slash piece, and it definitely has similar themes to my first one ("The Harry Factor"). However, they're definitely different stories. I've felt compelled to write this particular piece for a long time, and I'm glad I finally did. I apologize to those of you who were looking for major f/f slash. In a way, this piece was more het than slash focused...but it's still a slash couple!