Su-lian stood staring out of the window, hardly seeing the view. It was only now that she could properly register the last few days, which had been an awful whirlwind of events. Her fourteenth birthday a week before had not been a happy occasion. Her father, who she rarely saw, would have been the only member of her family in high spirits, anticipating the small fortune he expected his eldest daughter to bring him now that she was old enough to be sold as a wife or concubine*. In contrast, this knowledge hung heavily over Su-lian, her mother and her two younger sisters, who spent the day together sombrely acknowledging Su-Lian's fourteen years and the fate that was now imminent. After years of being the wife of a rich, powerful and cruel man who was years her senior, had many concubines and had little time for her, Su-lian's mother knew that a woman in the Chinese Empire had little chance of happiness. Su-lian knew something of this, and felt too young to be married - full of spirit and curiosity, she wanted something more for herself than a life devoted to a man she had not chosen and would probably not love. Her soul yearned for romance, adventure, knowledge - all things that were not really available to a Chinese woman. Even though the Empire was developing slowly, and some of the appalling customs, like foot binding*, had now all but died out, so that Su-lian's mother had been able to save them from that at least, life was still miserable for most Chinese women, and they were still victims of the more appalling customs, especially daughters of men like her father, who were crueller than most and looking to regain a fortune. Her sisters, both too young to actually understand, sensed this atmosphere nonetheless and were unhappy.
Days later, the worst happened. Su-lian's father, who had been inviting a succession of men to the house in the hope of selling his daughter as soon as possible, had a guest - a middle-aged man of reasonable fortune and roots, who offered a fair amount of money compared to the previous visitors. Su-lian's father accepted this offer, even though it was for a concubine, which was degrading for Chinese women, and the man had a reputation for being cold and ruthless.
Su-lian's mother broke the news as gently as she could that night, but was unable to stop herself dissolving into tears. Numbly, Su-lian did her best to comfort her before stumbling blindly to her bedchamber. Her worst fears had been realised - this man, Comfucius Huang Ti, was three times her age, had many concubines already, so that she would be vulnerable to the abuse of a household of women, inferior to them all, as well as him, and was known to be heartless. That her father cared so little about her well-being was a double blow, although she had suspected it before. Bitter tears sprang to her eyes as she realised that she was being passed from the possession of one awful man to another, and she vowed to find a way of helping to free women from this terrible cycle.
Two days later, with no marriage ceremony, Su-lian was taken to Comfucius Huang Ti's house, and presented to his wife, a woman whose eyes held a cruel and merciless glint. She mocked Su-lian for having such comparatively large feet, and set her about the worst tasks of the household. The next few days were pure torture for Su-Lian. She had to comply with the whims of every member of the household, and, until he lost interest in her, attend to Comfucius Huang Ti. Then he did loose interest in her, and her life got even worse. Now that she did not have the protection of being of use to Comfucius Huang Ti, the women were free to do as they wanted with her.
Now she had been there for a week. Although she refused to let her spirit be crushed, the future looked bleak, and although the room she had finally been allowed to retire to after a long day of hard work and abuse was reasonably comfortable, and the view she was staring at unseeingly was undeniably beautiful, she could not suppress the sobs rising in her throat at the prospect of another day like the ones she had so far experienced in this luxurious yet unfriendly house. And then the solution came to her, fearful yet enticing. She would run away.
* * * * *
Over the next few days, Su-lian carefully made her plans. She did not know what the outside world would offer her - she feared that life would be hard at first for a lone woman, but she was willing to risk it in the hope of eventually finding something better. She repacked her few possessions, including some stolen food and money, and began to assess the security of the house, desperately seeking a flaw that would ensure her escape. And then, quite by accident, she was walking round the house to the kitchens when she spotted a guard sleeping at his post. Without hesitation, she ran to her chamber to retrieve her belongings, and, as inconspicuously as was possible, walked out of the gate behind the sleeping guard. Thankfully, no one noticed her, and she found herself alone on a dusty road just outside the back of the house. She quickly began to walk, grateful more than ever for her unbound feet, and walked briskly until she found a little inn just as night was falling. Reluctantly, the owner gave her a room for the night, but she could tell he was not sure, afraid that serving a woman could get him into trouble. The room was comfortable enough, and she sank gratefully onto the bed. But her thoughts kept her awake. Fears of being pursued mixed with excitement mingled with trepidation about the life she intended to search for. Because she was going to find the capital, and one of the revolutionary groups she had heard spoken of at Huang Ti's house. She was going to fight for revolution, and try to win women the freedom and respect she knew they deserved. But it would be dangerous, and she knew she might never find these people - for all she knew, they were just rumours. And Huang Ti and his woman would be angry to lose her, the girl they could use as little more than a servant. There was uncertainty behind and ahead of her. She slept fitfully.
Next morning, Su-lian set off early, and did not even allow herself the luxury of stopping for the night. She had timidly stopped to ask about the capital, how near it was and how to get there, and had found that it was only a few days' journey away. After three days and two nights of walking almost non-stop, she reached her destination. It was a dirty, noisy place, where she saw for the first time the lives peasants lead, full of hunger and overwork. And now she faced a new problem. She was almost out of food, even though she had allowed herself to eat only a little a day, and needed the money she had left to buy more. But where could she sleep? And then she found an old, abandoned building, and decided she could sleep there for the time being. Having gone away to buy food and search in vein for the revolutionary groups she had heard of, she came back, opened the door timidly, noticing for the first time the flower painted in black onto the rough glass of the door. She found herself at the top of a staircase, and made her way slowly and carefully down them. Towards the bottom, she began to think she could hear the noise of people talking, but it was so quiet that she thought it her imagination and pressed on. So finding herself in a room full of people, mostly sitting round tables talking. She began to back away, but had already been spotted. There was something strange about this room. Not only where there woman talking freely to the men, but she sensed something in the atmosphere that filled her with fear. It was something menacing, and she desperately wanted to get away. But someone looked up, and pointed her out to a friend, and before she knew what was happening a crowd was swarming. She could make out odd sentences in the whirling conversation.
'She's not one of us' 'She should not be in here' 'She has no right to be in here' 'There is nothing to stop us using her'. Blindly, Su-lian tried to escape, but they were closing in on her, reaching for her. Feeling faint, she refused to stop struggling, but there was something inhuman about their strength as well as beauty. And then, calmly, someone took her arm, and said quietly 'Come with me'. He led her up the staircase, and the crowd parted reluctantly for him.
Days later, the worst happened. Su-lian's father, who had been inviting a succession of men to the house in the hope of selling his daughter as soon as possible, had a guest - a middle-aged man of reasonable fortune and roots, who offered a fair amount of money compared to the previous visitors. Su-lian's father accepted this offer, even though it was for a concubine, which was degrading for Chinese women, and the man had a reputation for being cold and ruthless.
Su-lian's mother broke the news as gently as she could that night, but was unable to stop herself dissolving into tears. Numbly, Su-lian did her best to comfort her before stumbling blindly to her bedchamber. Her worst fears had been realised - this man, Comfucius Huang Ti, was three times her age, had many concubines already, so that she would be vulnerable to the abuse of a household of women, inferior to them all, as well as him, and was known to be heartless. That her father cared so little about her well-being was a double blow, although she had suspected it before. Bitter tears sprang to her eyes as she realised that she was being passed from the possession of one awful man to another, and she vowed to find a way of helping to free women from this terrible cycle.
Two days later, with no marriage ceremony, Su-lian was taken to Comfucius Huang Ti's house, and presented to his wife, a woman whose eyes held a cruel and merciless glint. She mocked Su-lian for having such comparatively large feet, and set her about the worst tasks of the household. The next few days were pure torture for Su-Lian. She had to comply with the whims of every member of the household, and, until he lost interest in her, attend to Comfucius Huang Ti. Then he did loose interest in her, and her life got even worse. Now that she did not have the protection of being of use to Comfucius Huang Ti, the women were free to do as they wanted with her.
Now she had been there for a week. Although she refused to let her spirit be crushed, the future looked bleak, and although the room she had finally been allowed to retire to after a long day of hard work and abuse was reasonably comfortable, and the view she was staring at unseeingly was undeniably beautiful, she could not suppress the sobs rising in her throat at the prospect of another day like the ones she had so far experienced in this luxurious yet unfriendly house. And then the solution came to her, fearful yet enticing. She would run away.
* * * * *
Over the next few days, Su-lian carefully made her plans. She did not know what the outside world would offer her - she feared that life would be hard at first for a lone woman, but she was willing to risk it in the hope of eventually finding something better. She repacked her few possessions, including some stolen food and money, and began to assess the security of the house, desperately seeking a flaw that would ensure her escape. And then, quite by accident, she was walking round the house to the kitchens when she spotted a guard sleeping at his post. Without hesitation, she ran to her chamber to retrieve her belongings, and, as inconspicuously as was possible, walked out of the gate behind the sleeping guard. Thankfully, no one noticed her, and she found herself alone on a dusty road just outside the back of the house. She quickly began to walk, grateful more than ever for her unbound feet, and walked briskly until she found a little inn just as night was falling. Reluctantly, the owner gave her a room for the night, but she could tell he was not sure, afraid that serving a woman could get him into trouble. The room was comfortable enough, and she sank gratefully onto the bed. But her thoughts kept her awake. Fears of being pursued mixed with excitement mingled with trepidation about the life she intended to search for. Because she was going to find the capital, and one of the revolutionary groups she had heard spoken of at Huang Ti's house. She was going to fight for revolution, and try to win women the freedom and respect she knew they deserved. But it would be dangerous, and she knew she might never find these people - for all she knew, they were just rumours. And Huang Ti and his woman would be angry to lose her, the girl they could use as little more than a servant. There was uncertainty behind and ahead of her. She slept fitfully.
Next morning, Su-lian set off early, and did not even allow herself the luxury of stopping for the night. She had timidly stopped to ask about the capital, how near it was and how to get there, and had found that it was only a few days' journey away. After three days and two nights of walking almost non-stop, she reached her destination. It was a dirty, noisy place, where she saw for the first time the lives peasants lead, full of hunger and overwork. And now she faced a new problem. She was almost out of food, even though she had allowed herself to eat only a little a day, and needed the money she had left to buy more. But where could she sleep? And then she found an old, abandoned building, and decided she could sleep there for the time being. Having gone away to buy food and search in vein for the revolutionary groups she had heard of, she came back, opened the door timidly, noticing for the first time the flower painted in black onto the rough glass of the door. She found herself at the top of a staircase, and made her way slowly and carefully down them. Towards the bottom, she began to think she could hear the noise of people talking, but it was so quiet that she thought it her imagination and pressed on. So finding herself in a room full of people, mostly sitting round tables talking. She began to back away, but had already been spotted. There was something strange about this room. Not only where there woman talking freely to the men, but she sensed something in the atmosphere that filled her with fear. It was something menacing, and she desperately wanted to get away. But someone looked up, and pointed her out to a friend, and before she knew what was happening a crowd was swarming. She could make out odd sentences in the whirling conversation.
'She's not one of us' 'She should not be in here' 'She has no right to be in here' 'There is nothing to stop us using her'. Blindly, Su-lian tried to escape, but they were closing in on her, reaching for her. Feeling faint, she refused to stop struggling, but there was something inhuman about their strength as well as beauty. And then, calmly, someone took her arm, and said quietly 'Come with me'. He led her up the staircase, and the crowd parted reluctantly for him.
