Kissing Me Without You

Disclaimer: I do not own Dawson's Creek, these characters, or have contact or relationships with any cast, crew, or production staff of Dawson's Creek. Dawson's Creek is the sole property of Columbia TriStar Television. I'm using these characters out of pure hobby. Any copyright infringement is unintentional, and this story is not meant for any monetary gain.

Setting: This story takes place in Season Four, somewhere in between Mind Games and Admissions

Couple: Dawson/Joey angst involving Pacey and Gretchen

Part 2: Dawson's POV

A cool breeze from the Capeside harbor flutters across the back of my neck. I shove my hands in the pockets of my black jacket, walking along the docks I've walked on my entire life. Tonight the docks are different though. My view has changed from the waters to two people sitting atop a sailboat anchored in the bay.

I figure I might as well say hello and begin walking closer to the boat - to their boat, the boat they built while I was involved with myself. It shouldn't matter anymore, though. It hasn't mattered for awhile, I realize as my eyes move to the boards of the dock. So then why is it suddenly mattering now?

When I look up, I see Joey sitting leaned against the side of the boat, her legs bent at the knees and open. Pacey has placed himself nicely in between them, his hands holding her inner thighs. Seeing Joey like that, I feel something inside of me twitch. It doesn't look right or natural. Joey doesn't open herself up so easily. But obviously she does, I think. She lets Pacey in in a way that I was never allowed.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" I can read her lips even from this distance. There is a slight sparkle in her eye as she flashes him that priceless grin of hers.

"Exactly what you want me to." He replies huskily, smirks, and leans towards her.

"Ah-ah-ah…not so fast." Placing a finger on his lips, she halts his motions. Pacey's eyes, filled with desire, flick up to meet Joey's. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that you're beautiful…" He whispers, leaning closer with every word. In my mind I am thinking the same exact things about her. It's just that I am not at liberty to say them. "I'm thinking that you are so smart and that I'm so lucky." His lips hover over hers. I watch Joey's chest rise and fall in desire as her eyes slip shut. "The one that rises above the rest though…" I can predict his next words. I whisper them out loud in unison with Pacey, "is that I love you."

I swallow as I see their lips meet passionately. Her body curves up into Pacey's as if he has just dipped her in a passionate dance. I shouldn't be watching, but this is a whole side of Joey I've never seen before. She's tough with him, hot, rough, and passionate. Pacey seems to cause girls to behave like that. He causes them to let themselves go, to let him have them however he pleases. I don't hold that power. With me, girls feel safe and comfortable. They call me sweet, loving, affectionate, and soft. Maybe I am all those things, but for once I'd like to make a girl lose herself and all of her senses in me. I'd like to make her go wild.

Joey's hands grasp his neck as she kisses him feverishly. He runs his hands up and down her thighs, his fingers curling around the curves, squeezing her legs in obvious pleasure. For a moment I almost feel angry at him for touching her like that. What right does he have? He should be gentle with Joey, with my sweet, fragile Joey. My Joey? Now I feel like hitting myself. She's anything but mine.

He pushes himself up against her and I suddenly want to be that close, feeling the soft skin of her stomach on my palms, exploring the depths of her mouth with my tongue. My hands curl up into fists inside my jacket pockets as I try to imagine what it feels like to hold onto her so tightly. In my mind I place myself between her legs and she pulls me as close to her as possible, her fingers carefully plucking each button of my shirt out of its hole. I draw in a breath of air as the wind and her full lips hit the skin of my chest, sending shivers through my body. She kneads her palms into my abs as she explores the contours of my chest with her mouth. I lean back, allowing her more room. She leans forward, and I love the way her body feels pushed up against mine. My fingers run through her hair and down her back. With my hands holding her ass I shove her body even closer, so tight against mine that it leaves barely any room to move. Lifting her head from my chest, I bring her lips to mine and kiss her furiously, my hands quickly finding their way underneath her bra. She lets out a small groan and arches her back at my touch. My eyes open slightly and I smile at her pleasure. I'm sure she can feel my body throbbing underneath her as I can feel hers. We both long to remove the layer of fabric between us, but we won't, not here, where anyone could see us.

The sudden loud clicking of heels against the wood shakes me from my fantasy, and I turn around to see Gretchen walking towards me. I wish she weren't there to disrupt me from my daydream as I force a smile and kiss her lightly.

"Did I keep you waiting?" She asks and takes my hand from out of my coat pocket. I hope she doesn't notice the thin layer of sweat that's formed.

"No." I answer simply, shaking my head as we begin walking away from Pacey and Joey's boat.

"You okay?" She stops walking, tilts her head, and looks at me. "You seem a little…flustered."

I force myself to chuckle. "Flustered? I'm just kind of tired, that's all."

"Alright." She nods and we resume our stroll.

I glance over my shoulder. The boat is now nothing but a fuzzy figure in the distance and I can only imagine what they are doing. I return my gaze in front of me but the only image I'm seeing is Pacey and Joey pressed into each other, his hands on her inner thighs, then her ass, then her breasts; her mouth on his chest, and palms against his stomach. Their actions arouse me, the thought of their actions arouse me. I want to let go of Gretchen's hand and walk right back to where I was standing so that I can watch her, watch him, imagining all the while, that it were me