1
Disclaimer:
I do not own the rights or characters of Harry Potter, and any resemblance of characters to any living persons is purely coincidental.
1.1 Bridges to Cross and Bridges to Burn
PART 1
"Slowly dripping from the caved in ceiling of the dilapidated dwelling was a steady flow of blood. It was not the blood of any mammal or reptile. It was not the blood of some ethereal creature either. It was merely the blood of a broken and lost man, a man who had wasted most of his life in hesitation. It was a man who had finally run out of life to waste…"
BAM!
Harry slammed the book shut and threw it into a corner already overflowing with them. Hermione sleepily looked up from her seat by the window and Ron just kept snoring.
"You know, I really am beginning to think that there is something wrong with Muggles. I think that Snape knew that. That's why he made us read all these books."
"Oh Harry, they're SO DEPRESSING! Do you think that Professor Snape is trying to murder us by trying to make us commit suicide?"
A sudden startlingly irregular snore shocked the both of them, and they turned to see Ron waking up from his "afternoon nap".
"Good story wasn't it Harry, that last one. I didn't expect that old woman to suddenly climb up the chimney and jump off the roof", yawned Ron.
"My thoughts exactly." A cold voice captured them all and turned their heads towards the doorway to see Draco Malfoy standing there with a slight smirk on his face.
" Get lost Malfoy, you slimy little leech. Go suck on someone else's blood!" growled Ron.
"Tut, Tut, Weasley, I'm afraid that sort of attitude will see you sitting here for the next two weeks reading and reviewing those lovely soppy, depressing little Muggle stories!"
"Malfoy, do you make it a habit of yours to go around commenting on everything you see or hear, or does your "much welcomed" visit actually hold a motive?" intercepted Harry.
"Don't flatter yourself, I only came here because I felt it was my obligation to tell you that you are all in for a big surprise." Draco had a smug look on his face.
"What, you mean you're going to kill yourself?" Ron shouted with glee.
"Keep dreaming Weaselass!"
"Oh, so you're not going to kill yourself." Ron sounded disappointed.
"NO, but I just came to tell you that I have convinced professor Snape to order 5000 more Muggle novels! See you later losers!"
With that, he was off and away. (How clichéd)
The happy ménage-a-trois (or should I say "unhappy") gazed unhappily out of the window and waited for the arrival of their doom. To be locked away in a castle with a whole truckload of depressing books with a meandering self- same pointless plot and unoriginal stereotypical characters was all that they needed too add to their holidays being taken away from them.
Hermione finally broke the silence.
"Look guys, we can take this badly, and make it worse, or we can try and make the most of it, and it won't be so bad. Look, it isn't so bad at all. Even though these stories aren't fit for anything but to wipe the shit of a donkey's arse, I suppose that they are quite funny. I mean, I did enjoy that whole scene where the Prince was trying to woo the Princess with those corny pick-up lines."
"Yeah, Hermione's right. Harry, I think that we should really start to be a bit more optimistic. After all, if we become depressed by these books, and we DO commit suicide, we'll give Snape the satisfaction of having successfully carried out his plan."
"We wouldn't want that happening now, would we?"
"Professor Snape…"
End Part 1
Ok, I know this is a bit crappy, but please review it. I am open to suggestions. Thank you for your time.
Cheers!
Fidelio
Disclaimer:
I do not own the rights or characters of Harry Potter, and any resemblance of characters to any living persons is purely coincidental.
1.1 Bridges to Cross and Bridges to Burn
PART 1
"Slowly dripping from the caved in ceiling of the dilapidated dwelling was a steady flow of blood. It was not the blood of any mammal or reptile. It was not the blood of some ethereal creature either. It was merely the blood of a broken and lost man, a man who had wasted most of his life in hesitation. It was a man who had finally run out of life to waste…"
BAM!
Harry slammed the book shut and threw it into a corner already overflowing with them. Hermione sleepily looked up from her seat by the window and Ron just kept snoring.
"You know, I really am beginning to think that there is something wrong with Muggles. I think that Snape knew that. That's why he made us read all these books."
"Oh Harry, they're SO DEPRESSING! Do you think that Professor Snape is trying to murder us by trying to make us commit suicide?"
A sudden startlingly irregular snore shocked the both of them, and they turned to see Ron waking up from his "afternoon nap".
"Good story wasn't it Harry, that last one. I didn't expect that old woman to suddenly climb up the chimney and jump off the roof", yawned Ron.
"My thoughts exactly." A cold voice captured them all and turned their heads towards the doorway to see Draco Malfoy standing there with a slight smirk on his face.
" Get lost Malfoy, you slimy little leech. Go suck on someone else's blood!" growled Ron.
"Tut, Tut, Weasley, I'm afraid that sort of attitude will see you sitting here for the next two weeks reading and reviewing those lovely soppy, depressing little Muggle stories!"
"Malfoy, do you make it a habit of yours to go around commenting on everything you see or hear, or does your "much welcomed" visit actually hold a motive?" intercepted Harry.
"Don't flatter yourself, I only came here because I felt it was my obligation to tell you that you are all in for a big surprise." Draco had a smug look on his face.
"What, you mean you're going to kill yourself?" Ron shouted with glee.
"Keep dreaming Weaselass!"
"Oh, so you're not going to kill yourself." Ron sounded disappointed.
"NO, but I just came to tell you that I have convinced professor Snape to order 5000 more Muggle novels! See you later losers!"
With that, he was off and away. (How clichéd)
The happy ménage-a-trois (or should I say "unhappy") gazed unhappily out of the window and waited for the arrival of their doom. To be locked away in a castle with a whole truckload of depressing books with a meandering self- same pointless plot and unoriginal stereotypical characters was all that they needed too add to their holidays being taken away from them.
Hermione finally broke the silence.
"Look guys, we can take this badly, and make it worse, or we can try and make the most of it, and it won't be so bad. Look, it isn't so bad at all. Even though these stories aren't fit for anything but to wipe the shit of a donkey's arse, I suppose that they are quite funny. I mean, I did enjoy that whole scene where the Prince was trying to woo the Princess with those corny pick-up lines."
"Yeah, Hermione's right. Harry, I think that we should really start to be a bit more optimistic. After all, if we become depressed by these books, and we DO commit suicide, we'll give Snape the satisfaction of having successfully carried out his plan."
"We wouldn't want that happening now, would we?"
"Professor Snape…"
End Part 1
Ok, I know this is a bit crappy, but please review it. I am open to suggestions. Thank you for your time.
Cheers!
Fidelio
