4th Entry
"Wahhhhhhhhh!!! Wahhhhhhhhh!!!" Landon woke up immediately when he heard that sound.
'Jade? My Jade? Honey?' he nearly ran to her crib.
"Shhhh...it's all right cutie, I'm here." He cradled her in his arms. "Why are you crying?" he pouted his lips. "Hmmm? Tell me. Are you hungry?" He tried to feed her, but she just turned away and kept on crying. "What is it? Hmmm?" Then he felt her heavy diapers. 'Ohhh..' he thought. He put her down, removed her damp diapers, and gave her a quick warm bath. Then he dressed her up, and put a pair of mitten that Jamie had knitted for her on her tiny hands.
"Landon? Are you in there?" he heard his mom's voice from the living room.
"Yeah, momma, I'm in here!" Landon's mom came in with a woman next to her. 'Lana.' he remembered.
"Good morning, Mr. Carter." she said.
"It's Landon. Good morning, Lana." 'Ok...and why are you here?' "Is there something wrong with my Jade?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well..you're a nurse..and..you know.."
"She's here to baby-sit Jade." said his mom. "Since you've got so much to do, I figured you might need some help."
"Well...thanks, momma. But you know I'll be paying her, right?"
"Ok. Fine with me. Whatever you say, Landon."
"Ok, then." He turned to Lana. "Do you mind if you watch her during the day? I mean..on weekdays only?"
"That would be fine."
"Can I drop her off at your house in the morning, and pick her up at the end of the day?"
"No problem."
"Mmmm...can you start tomorrow morning?"
"Sure!"
"Ok, then. Just be sure you leave your address and phone number."
"Mmm..ok." she just keeps on staring at him.
'Ok...stop staring at me pleeeaassseeee...' he thought. There was silence. And she kept on staring at him.
"Jaaade!!" 'Why, thank you, momma!' His mom broke the silence and started to play with Jade. Lana joined her and Jade started crying.
"Uh-oh" said Landon. "I don't think she's used to you yet." And he cradled Jade in his arms again, but this time, she wouldn't stop. He tried to feed her, but she still wouldn't stop.
"Maybe her diaper's too tight." said Lana.
Landon loosened the diaper a bit, but she still wouldn't stop. He began to panic. 'Jamie? Baby, what do I do?...Jamie...Yes! That's it!' He reached in his pocket and found his key-chain, which is a picture of him and Jamie. He swayed it back and forth in front of Jade's face. Her high-pitched voice began to quiet down. Loud cries and screams turned to soft little sniffs. Then she stopped crying, and started to grab on the key-chain. 'Yes, it worked! Thanks, baby.' She started playing with the key-chain, and slowly spread a smile across her face. Landon couldn't believe his eyes. 'Jamie, look! Her eyes twinkle when she smiles! Just like you! I knew it, I knew it!'
"Oh, my goodness! Is it just me, or does her smile looks exactly like your Jamie, Landon?"
'Ahahaha..See, baby? Even momma can tell!'
"Yes, momma. She looks exactly like my Jamie." He glanced over at Lana but she didn't smile like they did. Her eyes were too busy staring at Jamie's picture. 'Jamie Sullivan Carter.' she thought. 'So you're Jamie Sullivan Carter. Oh, how lucky it is to be you. To have a wonderful daughter..a FINE husband. I wish I...'
"Lana?" his mom shook her arms.
"Hmm? Yes, Mrs. Carter?" 'Snap out of it, Lana!'
"Are you ok?" asked Landon. 'He worries about me??'
"Yes, yes. I'm ok. I was just...looking at your wife's picture. She's really beautiful." 'But stupid to leave you and Jade...Shut up, Lana!'
"Yes, she's really beautiful. I love her with all my heart."
'Oh, puleaze, Landon. She's dead. Move on...Ok, face it, Lana. You like him and you envy Jamie because she's perfect. No I don't. Now shut up, will ya?
"So, I guess we should go now." said his mom.
"K, momma. Take care." He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek.
"So, um..here's my address. My number's at the bottom. Call me." 'Uh-huh...T'sure you don't. You don't envy her at ALL..yah..whatever.... SHUT UUUUUP!!!'
'Oh god.' he thought. 'Please don't like me. Please don't like me. Please, Please don't. I don't wanna make you cryyy..'
"Umm...yeah..uh-huh...I will...tomorrow...I guess."
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My sweet Jamie,
We now have a baby-sitter for our little Jade. Her name's Lana. She seems...um...ok...I guess..but a little strange. When she was looking at your picture...I could've sworn her eyes were scary. But..I don't know..Maybe it's just me. We'll see. Anyway..enough of her. Did you see Jade this morning when she smiled? She looks exactly like you! Her eyes even twinkled! Even momma can tell! Hmmm…now I wonder if she'll chuckle or giggle like you. Baby… This is so hard. Harder than I thought it would be. Jade is only 4 days old, and she already has your smile. She already has your chocolate eyes. She already has your natural fragrance. Now what? It is so hard for me, to look at her and not think of you. Besides. I was never able to do that. Your vision always blink in my mind when I look at her. When she eats, I see you eating in my mind. I see you eating your chocolates and your ice-creams. When she cries, I see you craving for sweets and pouting your lips, begging me to go out and buy some for you at the middle of the night. Gosh, I pray every night that this is all a bad dream. I pray that when I wake up in the morning, I'll find you in my arms. I pray that I would feel you first thing in the morning. That I would see you cradling our Jade, singing her a lullaby at night. I pray that you would give me my goodnight kisses I have missed for so long…
Love,
Landon
He closed his journal and looked up at the dim, starry sky. He was surprised he was able to find Jamie without using the telescope.
"Goodnight, baby. I love you." 'I wish you can kiss me right now.' he thought.
Just then, he felt the soft whispers of wind around him. 'Jamie. Baby. God, I missed you.' He smiled as he closed his eyes, taking her all in. He could see her sneaking from behind, and put her arms around him. He could feel her soft kiss on his cheeks. Then his lips. He could feel her head resting on his shoulder blades. 'Goodnight, Landon. I love you too. I'm so proud of you.'
TBC
