I am not a love child!

Disclaimer: Aw screw it, I've said it plenty, sue me and I'll blast ya.

I woke up. There was pain. Lots of pain. Some sadistic creature was pounding on my head with a sledge hammer. I opened my eyes and fireworks burst inside my brain. All pain was multiplied 10 fold. I quickly shut my eyes again, groaned and attempted to sink into the sweet relief death would bring. I had to be dying. That was the only explanation. Suddenly I felt a cool hand on my forehead. I managed to open my eyes just the teeniest bit.

"Mom?"

"No honey, it's just me, Bulma."

Whoops, I was close. This new development was not good. I had become a little more ingrained in my own story than I had hoped. I should have been sick with worry but instead I rolled over in bed and threw up. If I died now it didn't really make a difference if I was born.

Bulma's hand was back on my forehead. This time it came with a damp washcloth.

"Stupid Goku." she muttered "Letting a poor kid get drunk." Eh? All this was because of last night? I wasn't dying? Wait. Maybe I was just dying *because* of last night. I had to know.

"Am I gonna die?" I managed to wheeze out. Bulma laughed. I winced. Ouch. Pain. Searing, burning, pain. She must have noticed because she stopped laughing and lowered her voice.

"No darling, you aren't dying, you just have a really bad hangover. Now drink this."

She was just handing me a cup of black coffee when an agonized yell came from the next room. More pain. I quickly downed the coffee and felt a little better. Bulma sighed.

"Sounds like Vegeta's up" she commented. She turned to go out of my room. "Are you gonna be alright for a while?" she asked. I managed a nod.

As soon as she had left I pressed my ear up against the wall. The yell had subsided and been replaced by something rather close to a whimper.

"Vegeta?" Bulma entered the room.

"Argh, woman don't walk so loudly!" he commanded. She stifled a giggle.

"Aww, poor Vegeta." she cooed.

"I don't need your pity, woman."

"Sure you do, you've got one of the worst hangovers I've ever seen. Here, drink this." she was undoubtedly administering her coffee to him too.

Suddenly my eavesdropping was interupted by some one *way* to cheery for a morning after a night at at bar.

"Hey Trunks! How ya doin'?" Goku asked, coming into my room. Why was everyone feeling the need to shout this morning? I buried my head under my pillow and retorted with

"I'm not speaking to you anymore!"

"Aw come on. I'm really sorry. Besides, I've already gotten The Authorative Lecture from Bulma."

"I hope she made you cry."

"Close, she tested out her new frying pan. I need to have a talk with ChiChi about that."

I smiled, glad to know that justice had been adequately served. I removed my head from under the pillow and fixed Goku with a patented glare of death just to let him know that, though I may be talking to him, I was not happy.

"Anyway," Goku continued "As penance I was sent in here to keep an eye on you whilst Bulma looks after Vegeta, and to extend to you an invitation to their wedding."

"Their wedding! I can't go to their wedding!"

"Why not, you'd probably be watching it from the rafters anyway."

"Yeah, but if I go as a guest I'll have to dress up, and get funny looks and, and make polite conversation! Do you have any idea how hard that is?"

"Gee, you *are* Vegeta's kid. Look, just agree right now and make this easy. Bulma's not gonna rest til you come. We don't want this to drag on to the point where she wants to call and invite your whole family."

I winced, yes, I could see how that *would* complicate things.

"I blame you."

"Blame me? How is this my fault?" Goku asked, looking hurt

"If you had taken me to your house or something this wouldn't have happened."

"Hey, believe me I tried but once I got here Bulma wouldnt let me drive anymore and made me spend the night here."

"You were *that* drunk?" Goku scratched his head.

"Dunno, In fact I don't remember a thing, Bulma told me what happened this morning."

"I'll take that as a "yes"" Ok, so it could have been worse, I could have waken up at the pearly gates as opposed to the Brief's guest room but still...

"Well? Can I tell Bulma you'll be there?" Goku asked, returning to the main subject.

"No! I'll just go back home or something for a while, you can tell her I went on a vacation. When's the wedding?"

"Tonight."

"Damn."

"So I guess you'll be coming."

"Yes. But under protest."