Total Recoil: A Parody bye Admiral Tigerclaw and Jupiter Star Warrior

Chapter ONE! Crashback.

CHRONO DATE: MOON KINGDOM; 5 MONTHS BEFORE FINAL BATTLE

The mile-long Galaxius and half-mile long Jupiter II broke out of Chrono-warp
above a large, wide palace, with beautiful gardens, and luxurious waterfalls. On board
the Jupiter II, JSW, the leader of Stars Incorporated, watched the viewscreen, his left hand
resting on the hilt of his Gunblade, which usually rested at his hip.

"Helm, find the Galaxius and give me her position," JSW commanded.

"Yes sir. Scanning for the Galaxius. Found. It's at one-zero-five, bearing 90
degrees," the helmsman replied.

"Communications, open a hailing frequency to ATC," JSW commanded.

"Yes sir! Hailing frequencies open, sir," the communications officer
announced as ATCs head popped up on the display screen, wearing his normal pair
of dark sunglasses.

"I'm here... I think," ATC said, looking around him from his recent
transport through time. "That ride was rough."

"Yes it was," JSW replied, "but it was better than any ride at Six Flags.
So, when are we?"

ATC turned to a control panel saying over his shoulder, "Hang on, I got
to get the chronometer online." With a few strokes from his hand, ATC
Swiped an ID card through a card slot. He punched a few buttons and the words
"Processing transaction..." blinked across the chronometer.

"I knew I shouldn't have made this thing from spare parts of an ATM
machine," ATC mumbled, tapping his finger on the display.

With a look of realization, JSW commented, "So, that's what happened to
that 7-Eleven's ATM machine."

Bob, the Psycho Samurai, peered above ATCs shoulder, looking at JSW
curiously. "What this Eleven-7?"

"It's 7-Eleven, Bob. It's a place where people get their cars filled
up with gas," JSW explained to Bob, who was still looking somewhat confused.

All at once, a stream of cash dispersed from the chronometer as sparks flew from the
machine. "AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" ATC screamed, pounding on the
chronometer, which now read ACCOUNT INVALID.

"What's wrong with it? It worked last night," JSW commented, raising an
eyebrow.

With sweat-drops forming on his head, ATC answered, "Well, we'll just have
to ask the locals what year this is."

"Yeah, looks like it," JSW answered, throwing up his hands in disgrace.

"Sir! Sensors are detecting a large castle on the moon!" Jupiter IIs
tactical declared.

JSW turned his attention to his tactical officer. "That's nothing new.
It's just the ruins of the Moon Kingdom," JSW said. "Why are you telling me
this?"

"Because, sir, it's still intact," the tactical officer announced,
rechecking his displays.

JSW turned back to ATC, "Can you confirm it?"

ATC turned to his technical officer, who nodded that the information was
indeed correct. "Well, we now know that we are in the Moon Kingdom. Now what?"

"Question is, when is the Final Battle of the Moon Kingdom?" JSW asked.

"Good question. I need you over on the Galaxius," ATC said.

"All right. I'm on my way," JSW responded. Minutes later, JSW arrived
on the bridge to the Galaxius. Suddenly, the ship shuddered under some sort of stress.

"Sir, the Moon Kingdom is firing on us!" the Galaxius' tactical officer
cried, looking at the display in front of him.
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Chapter one... part TWO!!!!!!


"Sir, the Moon Kingdom is firing on us!" the Galaxius' tactical officer
cried, looking at the display in front of him.
"Situation RED, raise shields, and power up the weapons systems." Shouted
ATC, swiveling his command chair towards the view screen. "Tactical, damage
report."
"Minimal damage, our armor held off most of it." Came the Tactical
officer's reply as he punched in numbers on his consol. "Our shields don't even
feel those energy blasts."

ATC cocked his eyebrow and turned his head to look at JSW. "You'd think the
kingdom that created the Sailor Senshi would have a more powerful planetary
defense." ATC flipped up a hologrphic diagram of the Moon Kingdom's current
dfenses. "According to this, we could easily level the Palace with one barage."
JSW looked at the diagram as ATC said this. "Then why are we at situation
red?" The question mirrored the look on his face.

"Just a precaution." ATC stated, changing the diagram to show the Palace
schimatics.
"They should be hitting us harder then this, they were very advanced
tochnologicaly." JSW commented as ATC deactivated the small hologrphic display
and went back to his chair.
"Yes but they're a peace loving people." ATC started. "So it's my bet all
the big guns are mothballed."
JSW looked out the bridge viewport, past the red flashes, and over to the
Jupiter II. A thought suddenly hit him, which he decided to wait untill later
to hit back.
"JStar to Jupiter II." He said activating a communicator. "Activate the
cloaking device."
"YES SIR" Came the reply and the Jupiter II faded from view. JSW closed
the comlink channel and looked at ATC. "What about your ship?" He asked.

ATC looked at JSW with a hint of humor and said "Are you kidding? This
ship is to BIG to put a propper cloaking device on." JSW hit the floor in a
perfect example of a facevault, and recovered a few seconds later. "Then...
then... what are you gonna do about the shooting?????"

"Nothing." ATC quiped.

"THUD!!!" JSW hit the ground once again.

"Weren't you paying attention? My tactical officer said those shots are
like misquito bites. We can sit here all we want." ATC sat back in his command
chair that hung from the ceiling with complex equipment.
"Well..." JSW tried to get a thought going in his mind, but was interrupted
a moment later when the Galaxius' Tactical officer suddenly shouted
over the din of the bridge crew.
"SIR! I'm counting SEVEN, repeat, SEVEN energy signatures in what could
be classified as the MAGIC range. The readings are consistent with that of the
known Sailor Senshi, ONE OF THEM IS RIGHT OFF THE SCALE!"

ATC and JSW shared a look. "SATURN" They both said. With a push of a
button on his chair, ATC suddenly had a whole bunch of holographic displays
showing everything from the Palace schematics, to energy overlap displays, to
Senshi statistics in front of his chair. JSW jumped as they all flashed into
existence.
"HOW IN THE... How'd you do that?" He asked.
"Master situation display monitor." ATC stated in a very businesslike
tone. "I can see anything I want at a moments notice and even control the ships
higher functions."
"I wish I had thought of that."
"This is nothing compared to the MASTER CHAIR." ATC stated as his hands
flew across the holographic keyboard. JSW sweat-dropped at this and looked at
what ATC was doing.

"Tactical, I'm getting a massive buildup of energy from the group, can you
confirm this?" ATC said as he typed more on the holographic display.
"Affirmative..." Came the tactical officer's reply. "There's another
location with a similar energy buildup. THE BRIDGE!"
ATC and JSW shared another look, well at least some people know how to
share.
"Sailor Teleport?" ATC started.
"It's the only thing that could explain the energy." JSW finished.
"CLEAR THE BRIDGE! THAT'S AN ORDER!"
AT ATC's order the bridge was clear, there was no need for it to be repeated.

"Three questions." JSW said.
"Go ahead."
"What are we going to do? Can we anticipate WHERE they'll land and HOW
THE HELL DID THEY GET PAST THE SHIELDS!?!?"
ATC looked at JSW and answered his question to the best of his ability.
"Okay, in order, ONE, I don't know, TWO, We'll find out soon enough, and
THREE, I wish I knew."
"Some help you are." JSW muttered.
"^^ I know, aren't I?" ATC said.
JSW face-vaulted onto the deck. Suddenly, something near the back of the bridge
got his attention.
"LOOK!" JSW said, recovering from the vault.
At the back of the bridge, a multi colored display of light lit up the
bridge in a special effects extravaganza that would leave the Authors bankrupt
for sure if it wasn't animated. As it faded away, several Sailor Senshi stood
in a rather angry way on the bridge.

"Do you think they're in a talking mood?" ATC questioned. JSW suddenly
yanked him down behind a panel as a blast of fire erupted at them from Mars.
"I guess not."
ATC stood back up and saw that all the Senshi except for Saturn had their attack
ready and were about to unleash them in the confined space of the bridge when...

"WAIT!!!!" ATC shouted. Somewhere an old record player made an abrupt
stop, producing a tearing sound.
"Computer, activate bridge viewport forcefield." ATC said.
"AFFIRMATIVE." Came the ship's computer.
"We don't want to get sucked out into space if someone misses." ATC
supplied. "Computer, music... Spybreak."

The music started, the Senshi just stood and glared while the rhythm
settled in. At the words 'Make your move naaaaaaaaaoooooooooooow', JSW and ATC
looked at each other and took off in different direction without even speaking.
The Senshi took this as the CUE to start the fight, and attacked. Mars opened
up on ATC with a Flame Sniper but missed every time as he moved to fast to aim
strait.
JSW, who was also making a running game of things, was running through a
fog thanks to a Shabon Spray. Out of the fog loomed the dark figure of Sailor
Jupiter. JSW naturally freaked and lost his footing.

"WHAM!"

Looking up from the panel he ran into, JSW saw Jupiter standing right on
top of him.
"My, you're pretty-" JSW had to duck as she slammed her fist into the
panel, smashing it. ".... O.O -strong!"

On the other side of the room, ATC was getting into the beat of the song as he
charged towards Venus.
"CRESCENT! BEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!"
ATC saw this and did one of the most radical stunts he could do, he ran sideways
up the bulkhead as he continued forward, the laser just missing him and
impacting the wall near his feet. ATC flipped away from the wall after taking
several steps at a ninety degree angle to the gravity of the ship.
He landed with a 'THUD!' right in front of Uranus, who immediately attempted to
decapitate him with a space sword blaster. ATC ducked, but felt a tug on his
coat. Standing back up and looking down, ATC saw a rip on the left shoulder.
"Oh, NOW it's getting personal."
JSW looked up from across the room, as he blocked blow after blow from
Jupiter.
"Y'all Senshi better back down before you get HURT!" He finished this with
a smashing right hook to Jupiter's jaw. Needless to say, she didn't like that.

"SUPREEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!! THUNDERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

Back across the room ATC had drawn his Katana of Kickass from its place
in the subspace pocket in the left side of his trenchcoat and was now ducking it
out with Uranus as JSW ran around the room being chased by Jupiter. ATC ducked
an over swing from Uranus and triped Venus out of the way as JSW started running
right around the dueling pair.

"SUPREEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!! THUNDERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEOUCH!!!!" JSW Yelled. "As soon as I have time to, I'm casting a
silencing spell on you!"

"Silence...." ATC thought out loud as he parried a blow from Uranus to the
side and ducked a love chain from Venus. "AAAHHHH HELL...."

"What?" JSW said, running circles right around ATC.
"Well, we can't win this fight if Saturn is not disabled."
"Why not?"
"Well, if the rest of the Senshi LOSE... Saturn will go homicidal on us."
"Meaning????"
"Boom."
"Ah, yes, boom..... BOOM!?!?!?!!?!?!" JSW panicked even more then he was
and shot across the room bowling over Mercury while she was trying to find a
weakness in these two 'VILLIANS'.
"BOOM NOT GOOD!!!!! BOOM NOT GOOD!!!!!"

"It's okay cause I've got a plan." ATC said, ducking a swipe meant for his
head. He then performed what could be called a quad roundhouse knocking all
the Senshi near him into the wall. He turned around to the replicator the
fight had placed him next to.

"Sausage, Dragonbreath style." The said Item materialized in front of him
and ATC whipped it up into his hand. With another motion he grabbed JSW as he
passed and stuffed it down his throat.
"What the Hell are you trying-" JSW stopped as recognition dawned on his
face and smoke started pouring out of his ears. The Senshi stood back and
stared at the spectacle. Knowing what was to come, ATC grabbed JSW and spun him
around, facing the Senshi.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The blast rivaled that of Mt. St. Helen's 1980's eruption, when the smoke
cleared, seven Senshi were on the ground with swirly eyes. Only Saturn was
left.

"We are defeated, now I must stop the menace." She raised her Glaive high
in the are and started the phrase most people never survived after hearing.

"SILENCE GLAVIE!!!! SUR-"
"WHAM!!!!!!!!"

Saturn took an unsteady step back, her Glaive falling to the ground with a
clang. Then she too, still holding the raised hand position, fell flat on her
back. The music stopped.

"Perfect." ATC said from his position standing with an arm extended.
Saturn lay on the ground out cold with one throwing mallet sitting next to her
head.

"Now what?" JSW commented walking up next to ATC.
"We make it so they can't attack us." ATC said. "Water?"

JSW grinned. "Thanks......."
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Total Recoil Chapter One Part Three

Taking a gulp of water, JSW cooled down after eating the sausage,
dragonbreath style. He looks over at ATC and asked, "Well, how're we gonna make
them stop from attacking us any further? Tie them up in a leather band, hang
them from the ceiling, and watch them suffocate in the extremely hot
temperatures that your engine gives off whether it be in orbit or in high-warp?"
JSW took a deep breath after saying that.

ATC sweatdroped and got out his mallet.

ATCs Mallet: WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!

Rubbing his head, JSW complained of a major headache and a bump on his
head. "Ouchies..."

Putting up his mallet, ATC looked at his partner in crime and said, "No,
you baka. We don't want them to die. We want to RESTRAIN them." After pondering
a bit, ATC was struck by lightning. A little frayed, he look over to
Jupiter, who was still unconscious couldn't do anything electrifying. He decided to
figure out how lightning struck on the inside of an enclosed space such as the
Galaxius' bridge later.

"We'll just tie them up by their bows," ATC submitted.

"Like in Christmas wrapping?" JSW asked, blinking a few times.

"-.-;;; No." ATC sighed, rubbing his fingers on his forehead. "We just tie
their bows together. You know, where they don't move."

"Oh, I knew that. I had that idea in my mind the whole time!" JSW stated,
his grin telling ATC he really didn't.

"Right. Let's tie them together before they wake up, shall we?" ATC said,
picking up a heavy Sailor Uranus, bringing her to the center of the bridge. JSW
followed suit, carrying Mercury, dragging Venus, and rolling Neptune to where
Uranus was now sitting. Again, ATCs Mallet "WHAM!!!!!!"ed on JSWs head, causing
another bump on his head.

"What the {Censored out by the Censorship Bureau} did you do that for?"
JSW asked, blinking at the long text that interrupted his question.

"I told you, we don't want to hurt them. The way you're doing things, I'm
surprised Neptune doesn't have a bloody nose. Take one at a time," ATC answered,
undoing Uranus' bow-tie.

Thirty minutes later, JSW and ATC had all the Senshi tied up by their bow-
ties. Shaking his head, JSW said "I don't think they're going to be happy when
they wake up."

"No, I don't think so, either," ATC agreed as Jupiter woke up. She tried
getting up, only to land on her partner in crime (fighting), Mercury, who woke
right up at once. Pretty soon, the Senshi started waking up, getting into a tangled mess,
which only the Authors could hope to get them out of.

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY FOR THIS!!!" Jupiter warned.

"JUST YOU WAIT 'TILL I GET OUT OF THIS MESS, YOU FREAK!!!" Uranus screamed
at JSW. JSW just blinked and pointed at ATC.

"Sorry. He had the idea. I just followed suit," JSW explained.

"Grrrrrr..." was Uranus' only response.

"Come on. Let's go someplace to talk without interference from any
griping, groaning, moaning, whining, screaming, snapping, biting, killing
Senshi," ATC said, going to his office. "Computer, activate the bridge's
Central Force Field at the highest level."

JSW followed ATC into the office, muffling up the Senshis' gripes, groans,
moans, whines, screams, snaps, and kills. JSW sweatdropped at the Author's inability
to create anything new.

"You know, I think you should have created something new," JSW sayed to the
Author.

The Author hovered his hand on the SMITE button. "^.^ But, it added a
nice touch!!" JSW quickly stated, sweatdropping.

ATC looked at JSW. "Who are you talking to?"

"The Author," JSW answered, sitting down. "So, how are we going to go in
the castle without getting hurt?"

"Simple. Beam down with miniature cloaking devices," ATC stated, handing
JSW a PADD. JSW looked at the schematic of the miniature cloaking device.

"How long does the battery last?"

"About three minutes, but that should be plenty of time to do our
mission."

"Which is...?"

"I don't know yet. The Authors need to find that out. However, while
we're waiting, we might as well have fun."

"Like, what are we going to do?"

Getting up, ATC answered "Well, let's say we invade the palace. Cause some
havoc since the Senshi are not there to defend the palace."

"What are we going to do?" JSW asked, "Snatch Serenity, tie her up in
leather, drag her up to your ship, hang her on the ceiling, watch her cook as
she cries out with pain from the heat of your engines, since they seem to be hot
whether or not they are turned on?"

ATC brought out his mallet, again, and WHAM!!!!!!ed JSW on the head, causing
a third bruise on JSWs beaten up head.

"The Author hates me," JSW thought to himself.

"-.X;;;; How 'bout we just break a few vases?" JSW said. Of course, ATC
had better ideas.

"More of the lines of testing out the guards' skills in covert intruders
operations," ATC offered as a slightly more difficult alternative.

"But we're not going to kill them, right?"

"Right." By now, unbeknownst to ATC and JSW, but beknownst to the Authors
of the fic, the Senshi had grown quiet.

Coming out of the office, ATC continued his conversation with JSW: "What
we do is have them chase us on a wild goose chase while we train in covert
operations."

"Good idea," JSW responded, looking at the Senshi. Mars just glared at
him. JSW turned away and faced ATC, who was looking at the Senshi with a raised
eyebrow.

Frowning, ATC stated "They're quiet."

"Blinking several times, JSW responded "Yeah... Too quiet."

Looking around the empty bridge, ATC asked, "Where's Bob?

His eyes scanning the bridge, JSW answered "Good question."

A loud crash in front of the Senshi pile announced Bob's late, yet
cueingly, if there is such a word, arrival.

"Bad answer," JSW stated.

Bob, the seven-foot psycho Samurai stated, with his deep gruff voice "HAI
ADMIRAL SAMA! YOU CALL??"

JSW, whispered to ATC, "If we take him along, he will spoil our
covert training mission!" Then, to Bob: "Hi Bob!"

Bob answered "KONNICHIWA, JUPITER-SAMA!"

"Distraction. Exhibit A," was ATCs reply to JSWs query.

"Got 'ya," JSW responded in full understanding.

"NANI!? WHAT YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?" Bob asked, looking at ATC and JSW,
his head tilted to one side.

"What we're going to do with the Senshi. We don't want them to hear," JSW
answered quickly, trying to avoide any possibility of getting such a LARGE man mad.

Mars, who was sitting, for lack of a better word, 'next' to Bob, sweatdropped
at his tallness. Bob, who noticed Mars, unleashed his voice... "KONNICHIWA!!!!!!"

"K-konnichiwa," Mars said in a weak voice.

ATC introduced Bob to the Senshi. "Oh, this is Bob, the Psycho Samurai.
Say hi, ya'll."

"Hi ya'll!" the Senshi chorused together. ATC and JSW sweatdropped at this.

"-.-;;; Didn't even do it right," JSW complained.

"-_-;;;; No, I meant to Bob," ATC corrected.

"Hi ya'll to Bob!!!" The Senshi exclaimed with Carrot-tops for eyes.

"KONNICHIWA!!!! MINNA-SAN!!!!!" Bob greets.

"Well, aren't we going to go down to the surface?" JSW asked, ready to get
the ball moving. His hand rested on the hilt of his Gunblade he received from a
trainer who loved to wear black leather and say "...Whatever" to JSWs ideas and
suggestions.

"Yeah. Let's get going. Come along, Bob," ATC answered, moving to the
TurboLift. Bob tailed behind ATC, who was followed by JSW. They arrive to the
transporter bay without incident, rather surprisingly, and beamed down to the Moon's
surface with the theme to Mission Impossible 2 playing on ATCs hand-held radio.

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Total Recoil: Part FORE!!!!!!!

JSW: This is not Golf.

ATC: Then why'd the Author get a hole in one?

JSW: -_-;;;; On with the fic!


Somewhere in the Moonkingdom's massive palace, a guard patrolled. Of
course, this is nothing unusual save for the fact that he was scared. The
senshi hadn't reported back and that huge... whatever, was still floating out
there. As he rounded a corner he noticed an odd sound. Armed with only a small
spear, the guard went to investigate. Not very smart, is he? When he neared
the noise he saw a strange light. A blue glow, and lots of white sparkles...
your usual transporter glow. The guard just kept staring at the strange light
when he suddenly realized it was forming into three people. A TELEPORT OF SOME
KIND!

As the blue glow faded JSW was the first to speak.
"Where's the bathroom? I've REALY gotta go."
"Well, you should have thought about that BEFORE we invaded the palace."
ATC said in a voice that clearly said he was joking. The guard blinked at the
exchange, and then realized what it meant.
"Oop... We've been spotted." ATC said as if it didn't matter. "you've
gotta hand it to them, they're quick."
"Yeah, but not quick enough." Grinned JSW.
The guard stuck his spear foreward and shouted. "HALT OR I'LL-

ATC's mallet & JSW's flying punch glove: WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Annnnd he's down for the count!" ATC said with a flourish.
JSW dropped to the ground and started slapping....
"ONE, TWO, THREE!!!!"

"DING! DING!"

"He's OUTA HERE!" JSW said.
Shouts could be heard and several more guards came rushing around the corner.

"Yeah, well here comes round two, and it looks like it's TAG team." ATC
said as he observed the guards. "Bob, it's your turn."

Bob grinned and whipped out a seven and a half foot long katana. The
Guards tried to stop, but brakes won't be invented for at least nine hundred
years.

"TIME TO SEE JUST HOW GOOD YOU REALLY ARE!" Bob grinned. He turned and
put his sword right through a marble pillar. Naturally, the Guards freaked. A
moment later Bob, the psycho Samurai was chasing a hoard of palace guards down
the corridors.


A few minutes later, ATC and JSW peered around a corner to see another guard
making his rounds through the section of the palace they were in.

"This place is a regular MAZE." JSW whispered. "Sow how we gonna get past
Mr. Personality? 'Wham' or 'Pow?'"

ATC smiled and started around the corner. "Watch this." ATC walked out
into the open and right up to the guard. "Scuze me, SIR!"

The guard turned and saw ATC. "What the... How did you get in here?!"

ATC replied quickly. "I walked, now can you tell me where the bathroom
is?"

The guard frowned. "What's a bath-"

"WHAM!!!!"

"-room..."

JSW came out of hiding and walked over to ATC. "Nice one."
"Thanks." ATC replied. "Let's go, we have alot of palace to cover, and
very little time."
JSW looked confused. "But we havn't been here that long."
"Let's MOVE!" ATC said as he took off down the hall.
"HEY! WAIT UP!" JSW said as he followed.

As they rounded a corner, JSW looked behind him to if there was anyone
following... he should have been looking foreward though because we all know
that Authors like to put people right around the corner to run into. Just like
JSW did.

"OOF! 'THUD!!!'"

ATC stopped to see what happened. "What hap... uh-oh."

JSW quickly got up appologizing without even looking to see who he hit.

"Um, JSW, guess who you body slammed." ATC said. JSW didn't hear.

"SORRY! SORRY! SO SORRY!"

ATC frowned. "Jupster...." Still JSW rambled on.

'I didn't mean to run into you, I wasn't paying attention...."

ATC suddenly snapped and shouted at JSW... "HEY!!!! PAY ATTENTION!!!!"
JSW stopped rambling and looked at ATC, who was pointing at the person he had
hit. He looked at the person, and his eyes became saucers.
"ATC? Who wears a white dress, has blond hair, and wears it up in an
'Odango' style?"

Princess Serenity regained her wits now that this funny man wasn't yapping away.
"Who are you?" She asked.

JSW tried to smile, but it was fake. "Um... Hi, I'm-"

ATC cut JSW off. "We're palace guard special forces. Division Six." ATC flashed
a wallet with his student I.D. realy fast.
The princess frowned. "I've never heard of Division Six."
"We're a realy secret Division." ATC said.
"Oh." Came the Princess' reply.
ATC continues. "There's an intruder in the palace, so stay with us."

At that moment, somewhere down the hall, they saw a large group of guards
run by screaming, followed by a large man waving a huge sword over his head.
The princess blinked.

ATC took this opertunity to pull JSW off to the side and whisper to him.

"Do you realize what we have here?" ATC whispered.
"Yeah." JSW replied. "The princess of the MoonKingdom."
"Not just that." ATC continued. "We have a free ticket straight to the
Queen."
"Yeah!" JSW said. "Oh, a question."
"What?" ATC said.
"Where'd you get that Division Six mumbo jumbo?" JSW asked.
"I watched Men in Black too many times." ATC said. He got up and walked
back over to the Princess. "We have to report to your Mother, RIGHT NOW. Can
you take us to her?"

Princess Serenity smiled. "She's in the throne room, follow me." She
turned around and lead them down the hall.


Queen Serenity was confused. She paced back and forth in front of her
throne, her silvery hair sweeping back and forth with each step. That huge
object had been sitting above her palace without moving for awhile now, and her
Senshi hadn't reported back in hours. What's more, the guards had reported
intruders in the palace. She jumped when a chorus of screams announced the
guards running through the room being followed by some nut with a huge sword.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!! YOU NEED MORE PRACTICE!!!!!! COME TO BOB!!!!!" Shouted the
insane Samurai.

Queen serenity sweatdropped at the scene as they left the room just as
fast as they came. This would give her gray hairs for sure... but nobody would
notice since her hair was silver anyway.

"Mother?" came a voice.

The Queen turned around to find her daughter standing before her.
"Yes dear?" The Queen replied.
"The palace special forces are here to report to you." Said the Princess.
Queen serenity blinked. "I have no special forces."
The princess blinked too. "You mean you have no palace special forces,
Division Six?"

"Of course she doesn't." Came a voice.

"dunu nunu nunu!"

The Queen turned to see ATC and JSW just as ATC started his handheld radio
playing George Thorogood's Bad to the Bone. The Queen blinked again. There
were two people she'd never seen standing at the entrance to the throne room.
Both wore large black coats of some form, dark pants, and also wore some strange
dark eye coverings.

"I'm Bad to the bone."
"BUBUBUBUBAAAAD!"
"BUBUBUBUBAAAAD!"

The Queen blinked.
"You'd think they've never seen sunglasses before." JSW said.
"You're forgetting." ATC said. "Sunglasses ALSO won't be created for at
least nine hundred years."

"Who are you?" The Queen said.

ATC smiled. "We're the EEEEEEEEEVIL intruders." He said making weird hand
motions that were a cheesy rip from spooky movies.
"Yes, we're the ones from the huge ship." JSW grinned.
The Queen blinked.
"Does the Author have to tell us every time the Queen blinks???"

"These are the guys who said they were your special forces." The Princess
said.

JSW stuck out his hand. "We're goooooood."
"YEEEAAAH!!!" ATC said, and gave JSW a high five.
"Wait, something's missing.... AH!" JSW reached into his pocket and
pulled out black gloves and put them on. "There!"
ATC looked at the gloves. "What're those for?"
"Nothing, I just think they look cool."

"So, could you care to tell me what's going on?" The Queen interrupted.

ATC looked at JSW. "It's your turn, I handled the guards and the
princess."

The queen raised an eyebrow at the statment.

"Well, here it goes.... should I tell her the truth, or should I make up
some story?" JSW asked.
ATC frowned. "She's the QUEEN you twit, she'd see right through any
story."

"Yes." The Queen said. "The truth would be nice."

"well..." JSW started. "We're from the big ship... I'm from a smaller one
you can no longer see..."
"This'll take till the next millenium at this rate." ATC said, cutting JSW
off. "We ended up here after an accident, we were fired upon by your palace's
weak weapons, and then were attacked by a group of superpowered supergirls. We
fought them and beat them relativly quickly."
"YEAH!!!" JSW said. "We beat them good."

"WHAT!?!?!?" Came the Queen's shout. "Wha'd you do to my Senshi!?!?!?!!!?"

JSW grinned. "We have them in our custody."
"Yes." ATC said. "They're kinda, tied up with other matters at the
moment..."


Back on the Galaxius, seven senshi sneezed simultaniously. Sailor Mars
looked around.
"Man, that was weird."
"Yeah, I wonder how we did that." Jupiter said.
The outers remained silent.
"Hey Jupiter." Sailor venus said. "I think that Frizzly haired guy likes
you."
Jupiter blushed at the comment. "What makes you think that?" She said.
Venus grinned. "He was practically DROOLING on you."
Jupiter blushed some more. "Well... did you catch his name? He was kinda
cute."
Venus frowned. "I think I heard the other guy... AT something or another
say he was JSW..... whatever that means. BUT THEY WERE BOTH CUTE!"
"HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM LIKE THIS?!?!" Mars shouted. "They captured
us! They might be planning to kill us!"
"Oh come on!" Venus said. "From the way they were acting, I don't think
they would actually hurt us without cause."
"YEAH!" Jupiter supported.
"Well, okay." Mars said. "Now that I think about it... that ATC fella was
kinda cute himself."
"There, I'm finished." Sailor Mercury said. "We're all untied now."
"You mean they left us tied up by our fuka bows?" Jupiter said getting up.
"I don't believe they would leave us with such lax-OOF!!" She bounced off the
forcefield.

COMPUTER: WARNING! YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO LEAVE THAT SPACE.

Mercury looked up. "Hey, it's a computer. Let's see what it can do... if
only I knew how to access it."
Venus frowned in thought. "I heard the ATC guy say something like COMPUTER,
then give it a command."
Mercury grinned. "It's worth a shot. COMPUTER, Identify me."

COMPUTER: YOU ARE A SAILOR SENSHI OF THE PLANET MURCURY. YOUR POWERS ARE MAINLY
WATER AND ICE BASED.

Mercury was quite impressed. "Wow, it's good. Um.... COMPUTER, deactivate
forcefield."

COMPUTER: YOU ARE UNAUTHORIZED TO GIVE A COMMAND OF THAT QUALIFACATION.

"Well..." Mercury said. "It was worth a shot anyway."
"COMPUTER?" Venus asked. "Which came first? The chicken, or the EGG?"

COMPUTER: REPTILES LAID EGGS LONG BEFORE CHICKENS EXISTED.

"Dang." Venus said. "It IS good. Let's get out of here."

The senshi stood up and held hands.

"SAILOR TELEPORT!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just when you thought it was over... we start the next part!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, back at the throne room, Queen Serenity blinked,
again, trying to make some sense on what these two odd-balls in odd
coats, wearing odd eye coverings, one of them putting on odd hand
coverings, were up to. Apparently, this particular Author has
something with the word 'odd', which is a description of a certain type
of line, like the y=x-cubed line, but that's a subject the Queen
wouldn't' like to get into at a time like this.

"Okay, this Author REALLY needs to quiet down on the useless
description," ATC said. The Author placed his hands on the Smite
button. ATC sweatdropped "But, it's very nice description!"

"Who were you talking to," Queen Serenity asked, looking somewhat
confused. Suddenly, a bright light appeared before the Queen,
Princess, and the two strangers.

"Uh, ATC, this light could mean only one thing..." JSW said,
somewhat surprised on what is going on. The seven Senshi materialized
before them.

"The Senshi has escaped," ATC finished, looking at JSW. JSW
looked back at ATC as the Mortal Kombat Techno Remix blasted on ATCs
stereo. The two trench-coated warriors readied their battle stances
and prepared to kick some Senshi butt again.

Jupiter started after JSW as he withdrew his Gunblade, blocking
the thunder attacks that Jupiter opened with. He lowered the Gunblade
and kicked the Sailor to the floor.

Meanwhile, ATC got his Katana of Kickass and charged for Uranus,
who got the Space Sword and parried ATCs hits and cuts. She went
through a lot of parries, blocks, stabs, cuts, slashes, and clangs,
bangs, shangs, and fangs, wondering why this Author loves to use very
unusable descriptive words that people want to browse over. Well,
because HE BLOODY WANTS TO!!

Well, this degraded into a classic fight which would probly end with one side cringing in pain unless something dramatic happened... so here's something dramatic.

Bob, the Psycho Samurai, who was still chasing scared shitless
Palace guards, found his way to the throne room. He lost interest in
the weak guards and heard a lot of commotion, so he went to
investigate. Needless to say, the Queen wasn't very happy, more like
frightened, about the encounter.

"KONNICHIWA!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob said to the Queen, who blinked for the
millionth time this fic. All the warriors were blown away, quite
literally, from Bob's exclamation.

ATC got up from the blast and dusted himself off. He looked
behind him and saw JSW drooling over Sailor Jupiter.

"Hi. I'm JSW," JSW said with stars in his eyes.

ATCs Mallet...: WHAM!!!!!!
JSW: X.x;;; Itaiii...

Jupiter just sweatdropped and blushed.

"Cut it out loverboy, the Chronosphere's been fixed. We need
to go," ATC said in a serious tone.

"Okay, okay," JSW said to ATC, rolling his eyes. "I have to go
now. I'll probably talk to you later."

"Galaxius, three to beam up," ATC said into his communicator.
The Senshi looked confused as the weird ones materialized out of
existence.

"So..." Mars said. "Now what?"
The Queen just blinked.
"Mother? Have you got something in your eye?" The princess asked.
Pretty soon the situation deteriorated into a royal pillowfight for
no appearent reason that night.


On board the Galaxius, ATC and JSW returned to an empty bridge.

"Okay, where is my crew?" ATC asked, looking around.

"Remember, you ordered them off once you knew the Senshi was
going to land here," JSW reminded the Admiral. "I'm going back to the
Jupiter II. Think you can handle it?"

"Yeah. I'll see you at the other end of the tunnel," ATC said,
shaking JSWs hand.
"One last thing." JSW said.
"What?"
"How'd you know the chronosphere was fixed?"
"Because I'm smart like everything."
JSW blinked... "KYAAAAA! It's SPREADING!!!" he shouted and raced for the Lift.

JSW left the bridge as ATC gave the ALL CLEAR
command to his bridge crew. ATC set the ChronoSphere to 'go' as the
Jupiter II reported systems OK. Pretty soon, the Galaxius and the
Jupiter II shot off to another adventure in time!

COMPUTER:CHRONOSPHRE ACTIVATED... CHRONOFLASH IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Pluto's Domain....

Sailor Pluto stood in front of the gates of time. She had missed
the intruders this time, but she was sure she would catch the group
the next time they started messing with the timeline. So far no real
harm had been done.

"The next time you appear... you're mine." Pluto chuckled.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHORS' NOTE: WE DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON OR HER GANG. WE OWN THE
GALAXIUS, JUPITER II, BOB, AND THIS FAN-FIC. SEND COMMENTS AND FLAMES
TO jupiter_star_warrior@yahoo.com, AND/OR erniehart@onr.com.

ATC's website. http://www.geocities.com/admiraltigerclaw