I am not a love child!
 
By Mirai Trunks
 
Disclaimer:        I do not own my life or that of those around me.  I do not own the disturbing purple and green villains we are made to fight.  I do not own the rather obvious plot line that I live.  How ever I can kick your ass if you sue me.  That is all.        
 
        Bulma was overjoyed and as soon as my liver got rid of the the deadly toxins I
had subjected my self to last night I found my self getting fitted for a tux. 
Apparently Bulma thought Vegeta need all the support he could get for I too, was
to be a grooms man. Bulma chatted continuously.
 
        "There we'll just have the tailor sew in a hem here and there and this suit
will be made for you!" she smiled, expertly jamming pins into to suit. I
merely nodded, not quite sure what to say and not trusting myself to say a thing
in any case. Stupid Goku.
        "You know, I really appreciate you doing this on such short notice." she
continued.
        "Uh, no problem." I muttered.
 
        "No, really, it means a lot to me." she continued on "And you're sure the rest
of of you're family can't come?" This again. I shook my head and delivered my
apology to the floor. I could never lie to mom, I didn't want to see if that
holds true now, er, then, er, whatever. I didn't need to worry. Bulma went on,
unabashed.
        
        "Now you're sure? I mean, you're welcome to stay as long as you like but I do
feel kinda bad stealing you like this without so much as a call to your family. 
We can't reach them at all?" I must have looked more fed up than I meant to let
on because on look at my face and the false cheery smile turned into a sincere
sheepish one.
 
        "Of course, you told you've tried twice. I don't mean to keep badgering you,
its just that, well, I'm nervous! And worrying over frivolities keeps my mind
occupied." She explained. She leaned up against the wall and sighed.
        "Oh Trunks, do you think it'll turn out ok?" It was my turn to smile, and
laying a hand on her shoulder, I did so.
 
        "Relax, I'm sure it will all be just fine."
 
        "Or at least it better be." I said to myself as I set off to the groom's room. 
The dwelled on my recent conversation "Mom is awfully nervous. I hope she'll be
alright." But whatever state Bulma was in it was a far cry better than the one
I'd find Dad in.
 
        I opened the door to the groom's room only to be greeted with a yell of "DAMN
IT KAKARROT, IF ONE MORE GIRL IN A FLUFFY DRESS LOOKS AT ME AND GIGGLES...!"
        "Hey, hey Vegeta just calm down."
        "I AM PERFECTLY CALM!"
        "You just went super saiyan!"
 
        This was true.
 
        Vegeta took a deep breath and powered down. Everyone else came slowly out from
behind various pieces of furniture.
        "Hi ya Trunks!" Krillin greeted me. "Glad you could make it." he took a
quick glance at Vegeta, who was at present engaged in a power struggle of
tremendous proportions which would be know for years to come simply as "Vegeta
vs Bow Tie" , and amended "Glad you *did* make it, you know, get past the door
and all."
 
        "At least things have calmed down now." observed Piccolo. Indeed since
Vegeta's attention was fastened securely on the bow tie the other occupants of
the room were free to move about.
        "Hee hee, I bet for a while there you were wishing you *had* taken Bulma's
offer, huh Piccolo." smirked Krillin. This remark got Krillin several laughs
and the patented glare of death form everyone's favorite namek. I was in the
dark. I pulled Gohan aside.
        
        "Psst! what's all that about?" I asked. Gohan grinned.
        "Well, apparently Bulma was a little short on bridesmaids and asked Piccolo,
since he isn't *technically* a guy, if he would, well, fill in." Gohan began to
giggle. I blinked and, unbidden, the image of Piccolo flouncing down the aisle
in a pink flouncy dress escorted by, say, Krillin, came into my mind. It was
terrible. I blinked back tears and considered ending it all now when the
recollection of what I was sent here to do dawned on me. 
 
        I surveyed the room in
regret. It had become practically peaceful except for the little corner from
whence drifted many saiyan words that probably didn't mean "Gee what nice
weather we're havin'". Too bad it would all have to end. I briefly considered
warning the mortals. Briefly. What can I say. I'm my father's son. I cleared
my throat.
        
        "Ahem! By the way, Bulma sent me down here to remind you, the wedding starts
in..." the room fell absolutely silent as I checked my watch "3 minutes."
 
        A resounding "SHIT!!!", a "vwoosh!", and the re-addition of a blonde in the
room followed. Leaving Goku to do the dirty work the rest of us managed to
escape the room unharmed and flee to sanctuary. Literally. I spent the 2
longest minutes of my life standing to the side of the alter mentally bitting my
nails. So close! The operation must not be stopped! The whispers of "10 zeni
says he chickens out" behind me did very little to ease my frame of mind.
 
        Finally with very little time to spare the best man and groom decided to make
their appearances much to the relief of me and the wedding guests. Vegeta was
befret of bow tie but otherwise looked fine. The organ started, the double
doors opened and Bulma began to walk down the aisle. I smiled, she looked
great. I glanced at Vegeta to see if this observation was lost on him. 
Apparently not. That adams apple did one heck of a jump. I restrained the
strange urge to put my finger tips together and mutter "Excellent, Smithers."
 
        The priest launched into the opening. Yamacha nudged me.
        "I heard they wrote their own wedding vows." he smiled. "I guess Bulma figured
that one about "til death do we part" had to be re-tootled." Dear Lord, still,
I *could* see how that might pose a logistical problem. I hoped the priest
would be understanding. In any case I would soon find out for the priest had
just begun the first vow
 
        "Do you, Bulma, and you, Vegeta, take each other to be your lawfully wedded,
er, mate..." I saw Bulma's eyes roll almost imperceptibly setting me free from
any lingering doubt I might have had as to who made that certain change. The
priest went on. "to have and to hold from this day forward?"
        "I do."
        
        "Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish them for worse or for a lot worse,
for rich or for really really rich, in sickness, health, death, and random bouts
of evilness?"                 "I do." The congregation as a whole sweat dropped. Yup, that
just about covered it. The priest gritted him teeth and spoke the final vow.
        
        "And, forsaking all other, will you remain only unto them for as long as you
both are able to be wished back by the dragon balls?"
        "I will."
 
        There now, that wasn't too terrible. Chi Chi booted Gohan out into the aisle
with his little pillow so I gathered it was time for the exchanging of rings. 
There were appreciative "awww"s as Gohan marched solemnly towards the altar. 
Once again I cursed the wedding's "no flash photography" rule and wondered if I
could mug the camera man in the corner and steal his video.
 
        Bulma's hand slipped into Vegeta's and he squeezed it gently before holding it
up and placing the ring upon her finger. "By the power vested in me I now
pronounce you..." the priest gave a small sigh of defeat "mates. You may kiss
your bride." he finished. Brushing aside her veil Vegeta took him at his word
and, this mushy stuff is getting to me, so lets just say that kiss bumped "Gohan
walking down the aisle" to 2nd place for "awww"s.