A/N: This fic is now nearing completion. I'm not sure at this point exactly how many chapters are going to be left, but it should be done in a week or so anyway. That is, if I keep up my writing a chapter a day thing that's been going on recently. Anyway, remember there's going to be an alternate ending.
Chapter 21: Facing the Future
Quistis Trepe stood on the deck of the small, cargo ship and looked out over the cobalt city of Balamb. Gulls flew overhead, screaming their complaints to anyone around to listen. The day, as it should have been, was overcast. Dark, rumbling clouds filled the wide expanse of the sky and threatened to drench the island county. This day could have only been gloomy, and even had the sun been shining Quistis still wouldn't have felt at ease.
Seifer was below deck in their room, fast asleep. As soon as they'd gotten out onto the open sea, his motion sickness had kicked in again. He'd spent most of the trip curled up in bed dozing. It was a preferable way to spend the trip than watching him be miserable. She'd wandered in and out of the room to check on him from time to time, and at night she crawled in beside him. Luckily, the second day out the seas calmed somewhat and Seifer's condition began to improve.
Tucking an errant piece of hair firmly behind her ear, Quistis turned to deliver the bad news. They were finally back in Balamb, and Seifer was about to change hands.
He was already awake when she walked in, although he had yet to get out of bed. His head peeking out from under the sheets, he smiled at her.
"We're at Balamb, aren't we?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"I noticed the boat not rocking so damn much." He tossed off the covers in one, fluid motion to reveal a pair of blue and green flannel boxers.
Quistis busied herself getting their things together. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," he shrugged non-committaly, pulling on a pair of dark pants.
"Oh..." She placed one hand on her hip and watched him pull a shirt over his head. "Because, I was just thinking that if you need some recovery time or anything...we could just stay a night in Balamb." Quistis mentally slapped herself after hearing the idea verbalized. Her tongue had been running away with her for the past few days, and there seemed to be no stopping it. She still couldn't believe she'd actually told him that she was in love with him. Of all the things to spontaneously blurt out...she for some reason had chosen a heartfelt confession.
The question of whether or not she was in love with him was still up in the air. All the times she'd really thought that she was in love it had only turned out to be a childish infatuation, which led Quistis to the conclusion that she really had no concept of what real love felt like. That taken into consideration, it was impossible for her to say whether or not love was the proper classification for her feelings.
"I think I'd rather just go," Seifer finally replied to her suggestion. Quistis tried her best to hide the disappointment she felt.
She couldn't quite put her finger on the moment when she'd begun to feel anything toward him. It had all happened so covertly, it had snuck up on her and suddenly attacked to force her awareness. Presently, it would have been silly for her to deny that she felt something for Seifer. She liked him, liked being around him. Oddly enough, he wasn't even really that much different from the person she remembered. His mannerisms maybe had softened a bit, and he'd matured, but he was still Seifer.
"Are you sure?" she asked, sweeping hair away from her face.
He shrugged. "Sure."
Quistis felt depressed. It was the story of her life to just discover something only to loose it. Over the years she'd lost almost everything that she'd come to love. She'd lost her position as an instructor never to regain it. She'd lost her family not once, but twice. She'd lost Squall. She'd lost touch with her life. Perhaps she and Seifer had more in common than she'd ever realized.
Seifer finished tucking his shirt in as Quistis finished packing. The ship was only staying in Balamb harbor for as long as it took to unload and then reload again. As Quistis had stood on deck contemplating whether to retrieve Seifer or simply let the boat take them back out to sea, the sailors had been hauling boxes off the ship. They soon would start loading new goods and would set out once again.
They paused, looking across the room at one another. Regardless of how it was going to look, Quistis had no plans to restrain Seifer again. At this point, if he felt the need to escape she wasn't about to stop him. In fact, she would have encouraged him to do so. However, he seemed determined to face whatever he had coming. It was the same pride and arrogance that had driven him to be so irritating as a child that now glistened with the kind of honor a knight of the old code might display. So many contradictions and only one man to hold them.
Quistis handed him his trench coat and watched as he shrugged into it. Late the night before he'd shaved and aside from the too long hair and wiry frame, he looked exactly as he had a lifetime before. The coat was a little more tattered, his scar no longer red or angry but just a light colored, slightly puffy line.
"Ready to go?" he asked, offering her a gloved hand.
Quistis shook her head, but took his offered hand anyway. She was currently in possession of Hyperion, so the gloves were nothing more than part of the uniform. She wished that he would take them off so that she could hold his hand for real.
Together they made their way back down the hall with the yellowy lights and back up to the gloomy deck. Quistis, for the first time, wasn't questioning her feelings but going along with them unquestioningly. In a matter of days, Seifer could be just another memory, and she didn't want her last moments with him to be filled with internal strife and confusion. The threat suddenly not having anymore time posed forced her to put aside any questions she may have still had.
"You two getting off anytime soon?" a scraggly little man asked as he walked by pushing a red dolly. "Sure are taking your sweet time."
Quistis ignored him, very much disliking most of the sailors that she had met.
Balamb loomed before them, large and imposing. Next to her, Seifer took a deep breath. This was it...this was the end. There was nothing left that she could do besides hope. The salty air and sea birds were the very messengers of death.
"Let's go." Seifer started forward, dragging her behind him down onto the docks. People were milling about, a few fish boats unloading iced boxes of smelly fish. No one seemed to immediately notice Seifer as he wandered back into his once home. There was, however, a flashy green and yellow Garden car waiting. A lanky SeeD laid stretched against the side, his arms crossed in front of him. Seifer's steps faltered when he spotted the man in the black and gold uniform.
Irvine.
Quistis stepped in front of Seifer and waved to her friend. The cowboy waved back, his once lanky hair now cropped short, but still wild enough to give him a charming, rumpled look.
Seifer followed close behind Quistis as they walked up to Irvine, his breathing shallow and quick. His insistence upon returning had blinded her somewhat to the fear he must have felt at seeing Balamb once again. As they walked up to meet Irvine and climb into the car, the tension radiating from him became more and more thick.
"Hey, Quistis," Irvine smiled broadly, his blue eyes then traveling to her companion. "Seifer."
"Thanks for coming to pick us up, Irvine," Quistis offered, really feeling little gratitude toward him for the action.
"Not a problem," he replied. "You've been gone for a long time. Its great to see you again. Couldn't believe it when Cid called me in and told me that you were going to be coming in by boat in a few days. Everybody's real excited to see you."
It didn't seem to bother Irvine in the slightest that Seifer was being treated like anything but a dangerous criminal. Quistis was still holding tightly onto his hand. When Irvine turned and opened the car door for her, she ushered in the unusually quiet Seifer first. He slid inside, and she slid in next to him. Irvine, with no comment, got in last and started the car to drive them back to Garden.
The car lurched from side to side, and the buildings of Balamb flashed by the window in a light blue and purple blur. Irvine had his back turned to the unhappy couple, his eyes on the road.
"How did they know we were coming?" Seifer whispered, leaning toward her.
"I told the ship captain that I was a SeeD to get a discount, and he contact Garden to confirm," she replied quietly.
He looked pale, and he pressed his lips tightly together as the city fell behind them to be replaced by the green of the Alcauld plains. They had spent so many years in cars on the very same road, and it was hard for Quistis to realize that they weren't, in fact, just going off on another SeeD exam.
It didn't take long before the flashy Garden appeared on the horizon and began growing like a vicious, malignant cancer. Never in her life had Quistis been so unhappy to see the attractive if awkward building.
No one was waiting out front as she had imagined, either to welcome her home or to catch a glimpse of the infamous Seifer Almasy. That in itself was a sort of relief, people weren't still angry enough that they were waiting to get their shot in. Irvine pulled into the garage, the car lurching to a stop with sickening finality. Quistis' stomach dropped, and the grip she had on Seifer's hand tightened.
Two more SeeDs were waiting in the garage, one of them much too familiar. Squall, his lanky brown hair hanging down into his eyes and the iridescent blue gunblade at his side.
"Good to have you back," he smiled slightly at Quistis when she got out of the car. His smile went away, but he didn't scowl as Seifer climbed out behind her. Instead, he offered the other man a tight nod. The two had always had a sort of strange understanding between them, even though they had never openly gotten along. Quistis had always gotten the feeling that they were a little more friendly than anyone knew. They didn't take what the other did or said personally, and they both seemed to know exactly what the other needed (which was part of what allowed them to antagonize one another so well).
Quistis returned Squall's smile with some effort.
"Cid is going to want to talk to you," Squall announced needlessly. "We can take Seifer off your hands now, if you'd like."
The open ended sentence left Quistis wanting to say no, but she knew that it wasn't really an option. Instead, she turned and offered Seifer all she could really give him, a small smile, before handing him over to Squall and the other SeeD. They each took one arm and led Seifer away, his gray trench coat waving behind him with the pace of their walk. Quistis watched him go, silent as she stood beside Irvine.
"You alright?" he asked, nudging her with one arm.
"Just fine," she bit out, unable to believe what she had just done. She'd taken the man she loved and turned him over. She'd betrayed him when she should have stood by him. Hyperion still dug into her back where she'd slid it beneath her pack, a reminder of the wrong she had just committed. She felt sick.
Irvine gave her a suspicious look and reached out to bring her into a hug.
"A lot has happened while you were gone," he announced, one hand traveling comfortingly down her back. "Get settled in, and we'll fill you in, okay?"
Irvine how no idea how much had happened.
Seifer had come into her life and now just as quickly he had left it, and it was all her own fault. He'd helped her, and she hadn't helped him. Who was the real monster? Quistis deserved more to be on trial than he did.
"Thanks, Irvine," she smiled lightly at him and turned to leave. She was in no mood to talk. Each step tapped Hyperion against her back, reminding her over and over again. What a dismal day. The future had become the present, and the outlook was dull.
She wished she'd kissed him goodbye.
