He refused to open his eyes, it was far too bright out. Out? He was on GOA, how could he be 'out'? Well, where ever he was, it was bright. His head hurt. His chest hurt. No, wait. It wasn't his chest. It was his heart. His heart hurt like someone had stuck a serated knife through it and was set on twisting it. It felt like he was dying.
"Well, his nuero patterns have stabalized. He should be awake any second now." he heard Dr. Rill say.
"Piss
off." he said, not moving anything other than his mouth. "Where's Zero?"
There was silence. He knew what that meant. Zero Enna was gone. Gone from GOA. Gone from his thoughts. Gone from everything that he had known as normal. Everything would be different from that day on. Everything would be cold.
"He's dead, isn't he?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.
"We don't know." Azuma's voice said thickly, "we haven't been able to get close enough to Ernn-Laties to get a reading."
"Meaning he's either dead inside the damn Ingrid, or dying."
"Meaning we haven't gotten close enough to tell."
"Where's Kizna?"
"Working on the control board with you repairer and the Pilots."
"And Teela?"
"Gone."
He felt something tug at his mind, and let Elia enter. She had materialized with a white kimono on, as opposed to her former nudity, and her long hair was pulled into pigtail braids. He watched her sit down before him, and he felt warmth spread over him, as if she were hugging him.
^Teela has been destroyed, Hiead.^ she said softly.
^I know.^
^Then you know about Zero…?^
^He's dead, or dying, why do I care?^
^He died for you, Hiead. Not for Teela, not for Kizna, certainly not for the human race, but for YOU. Have you no-^
^Just because he loved me doesn't mean he had to throw away his life and his dream. I'm not worth it.^
^He obviously thought you were.^
^No one ever said Zero Enna was smart.^
He pulled away from her, and sat up, pulling the IV out of his arm in the process. Monitors went off, things beeped and trilled, but he didn't care. He stripped the flimsy paper gown they'd put him in, and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt he knew Ikhny had brought him. A small smile made its way to his lips at that thought. He didn't give his repairer enough credit for what she… He blanched as that thought made its way through his mind. Hadn't he… didn't Zero… The Journal.
He raced out of the Infermary and to his dorm. He turned Zero's mattress over and pulled the book out, flipping through the pages angrily. He found the line ("He treats her like shit tho'") and read through everything. He stopped when the penmanship got extremely neat, and perfect cursive. Zero never used script, unless it was required for class.
"As odd as it may seem, I have come to the conclusion that Hiead and I are extensions of Teela Zain Elmes, the Pilot of Ernn-Laties. I know it's really freaky soumding, but seriously, it's the truth. I've been talking to her recently, and she knows so much about my artificial birth, and Hiead's too, and she knows all about our EX's. She doesn't however, know about the link I have with Hiead, or about my ability to use Telepathy without tapping my EX. She's a real bitch too. She tries to supress the Ingrid Spirits, and the Pilot's EX. She's tried to do it to me, and to Hiead, but I've stopped her. She didn't quite know what to make of that. Thought it was some sort of fluke.
"Anyway, Hiead doesn't have a clue about any of this, and I'm sorta debating whether or not to tell him. Elia says I should. Helteage says it may be best to wait it out and see. I don't have too much more time to be waiting tho'. Teela's control over herself is starting to slip, and I'm not so sure I want Hiead to be near her when this all goes down."
He stared at the words, unblinking, as it all finally dawned on him. Ever since he'd first seen Zero, he'd felt connected to him. He'd felt hatred and anger at first, because he was a natural Pilot, a natural leader. He could talk anyone into being his friend. There was nothing Zero Enna couldn't do. And he'd always thought that it would be impossible for someone like Zero to like, let alone love, some one like him Zero. Hell, he thought it impossible for him to love, period.
"Hiead?"
He turned to look at the door, only to find his Repairer standing there, dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck, her badge hanging over her heart. There was another emblem on her shirt, the emblem of the Pilot's Repairers. He stood, Journal still in his hand. Ikhny looked at him with sad brown eyes and then looked down at the floor.
"Azuma-sensei said I should tell you we've gotten into Ernn-Laties."
"And what about Zero?"
"There's no body at all, but the Spirit tells us he's fine."
He nodded to her and as she took her leave, looked down at the book in his hand. Unwillingly, he sank to his knees and cried.
~!*!~
She walked into the room, looking down at the open space casket before her. Surrounded by flowers of every type, there were few belongings of Zero's laid on the white satin. She held back tears as she pulled a bag from her shoulder, and pulled his old red and white Candidate uniform out. She laid it neatly inside, beside the black and white set that Yamagi had put in earlier, and looked at the other things people had put inside.
Wrecka, although she wasn't as close to the other Candidates as she was to Roose, had put a box of his favorite Pocky in, how she knew was beyond Kizna. Zero made it a habit to keep his fetish for ChocoBanana Pocky a secret. She was sure that only they knew, and possibly Erts. She smiled as he saw the book of Ingrid Mechanics that Clay had put in, and the small model that Roose had made in his first year that Zero had loved so much. Tukasa had always been grateful for the 'talk' Zero had given her Candidate in their second year, and she had started on a special gift for him immediately after. A long presidential blue and white Kimono, vines of morning glories silk screened in opaque white and silver giving it a traditional look. She had been planning on giving it to him the day he was made Pilot. Kizna wiped her eyes as Saki's gift met her eyes. Saki, Garu, Erts, and herself were the only four people to know about Zero's waxing since the end of first year, and the small travel bag with Nair, shampoo and conditioner, as well as shave cream and razor was a cute touch. Knowing the boys, they wouldn't be caught dead putting something likt that in the casket.
"Don't worry about it, Gorgeous," the small attached note read, "no matter what happens, no matter where you go, you're still beautiful to us. But just to make sure…"
"Saki, where ever he is, I'm sure he's blushing like mad."
She saw the small photo album that Ikhny had made up the night before, and felt tears roll down her cheeks as she read the inside cover.
"Zero, you've been like a brother to me since we met, and I haven't done much to repay you for that. Hiead can be such a jackass, but he doesn't understand how to show his feelings. Doesn't understand what they mean. He's scared and worried, he doesn't know where to go from here. I know he feels your… sacrifice more than the rest of us. I pray to that the Goddesses protect you, and I promise, I will not let him think it was his fault. God… it's not fair Zero. You should be here, living your dream. But your dream was to see him succeed, wasn't it? He will succeed, I will see to it myself."
Ikhny… so much determination, so much pain, so many unanswered questions, unfufilled dreams. You're taking this better than I expected. Better than I am, and I knew before hand what would happen. I'm sorry you got stuck with him as a Candidate, or Pilot as it stands now. I'll be here for you, I promise.
She pulled a small bouquet of white roses from her bag and set them inside. She knew Hiead was standing behind her.
"I wasn't sure if you would come." she said quietly, letting him step up next to her, noting the Pilot uniform he wore, and carried.
"When one loses something something as precious as Zero was, they are compelled to do something to find closure."
"You make it sound as if he meant so much to you."
"He meant more than I was willing to admit."
He picked up the bouquet and set the uniform down, placing the flowers on top. He felt a lone tear fall down his face, and as Kizna pulled him into a tight hug, he knew exactly what he'd lost. He'd lost his best friend, even if he was never one to openly admit it. He'd lost the one part of him that he could depend on. He lost his heart. He lost part of his soul.
~TBC~
I know, this was really short, but I wanted to post something while I finish the dream sequence that was supposed to be in this one. (writing Lemon scenes are easy, but to have the effect I want, it gets a little difficult. I should have the next half of this out soon, most likely by the end of the weekend.
Muse: And just in case you didn't
catch it, the title of this chapter "A Wake and Still Having Nightmares," was
supposed to imply both being physically "awake" and "a wake" (as in funeral
component).
I think they got that Muse.
Muse: Well I just wanted to make sure they understood, and didn't think it was some freaky typo or something.
You're a freaky typo.
Muse: No, I'm a freaky p-s-y-c-o. There's a big difference. Now, go leave TK a review, and let her know what you think. It encourages her to write faster, which in turn means more frequent updates.
You really are a typo. Why do I even bother incorperating you in these AN's?
Muse: Because without me, the Rabid plot bunnies would eat you.
Hey guys, would you shut her up please? Reviews do that nicely… give her and those damn bunnies something to chew on.
