TOW Joey Loves Rachel 2
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...sure wish I did though...
Joey entered his apartment and quickly turned on the lights. He quietly closed the door and turned around to face the solitude that surrounded him. Shutting his eyes, he exhaled deeply, and leaned his back against the door. Home. Finally. He had hoped that once he was there, he'd feel safe somehow. He was wrong. It wasn't safety he was looking for...it was reassurance. The disappointment that tugged at his heart didn't compare to the foolishness that flooded it. He just wanted the night to end. He wanted to forget everything that happened. He wanted to stop loving her. But he knew that what he wanted was impossible. No matter where he was, his thoughts were inescapable. He looked down at his hands.
I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I'll have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing
'How could I have been so stupid?' Angry thoughts invaded his head, 'You don't tell a pregnant woman who's having your best friend's baby you love her! She has enough problems of her own...' What did he expect Rachel to do? He shook his head in solemnity. 'It's my own fault I'm hurting...' he tried to reason with himself. 'It's my fault...'
Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
Magnetically, his eyes wandered over to the doorway of the room Rachel used to occupy. He tightened his jaw. His eyes began to sting. This was too much. How did it get this far? This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to fall for Rachel. If someone had told him a year ago that he was going to fall in love, let alone with her, he would've laughed in their face and risked his life savings on the impossibility. He was unfamiliar with terms like "commitment" and "romance". That "mushy" love stuff wasn't his style. It was Ross's. It was Chandler's. It WASN'T Joey's. He liked the thrill of the chase. He liked bachelorhood: fast women; no strings; no complications. But now...now it's all changed. Now, even if he made that bet and lost, he wouldn't care if he ended up homeless, so long as he had Rachel. But he didn't. The one woman who's responsible for this, the only woman he's ever loved...didn't love him back.
This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
'Maybe I just don't deserve her...'he thought. Maybe karma had finally caught up to him and was kicking his ass ten-fold. Hell, this was infinite-fold. He lost count of the number of hearts he'd broken, and cared very little. But now he realized that all of those cheap flings and one- night stands didn't compare to even a second of Rachel's company.
Cuz I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream...
He hastily wiped the wetness from his face. He was not going to wallow in self-pity. Enough was enough. He tried this "love" thing. It obviously wasn't for him. 'Guys like me aren't made to fall in love,' he decided. He stood up straight to collect himself and pushed remaining thoughts of Rachel aside. Then, he headed for his room. Before turning off the lights, he stood at his bedroom doorway facing the emptiness of his living room. Unable to prevent a somber frown, Joey realized for the first time that he was experiencing loneliness.
Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this...
Then the apartment went dark.
************************************************************************
The next day...
A harsh pounding on the front door wrecked the 2 hours sleep that Joey had mentally fought for the previous night. Annoyed, he tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, the knocks just got louder and more persistent.
"Damn it all..." he mumbled. He knew it was either Chandler, Phoebe or Monica and the last thing he needed was a "sympathy" talk. He knew his friends meant well, but sometimes, they did a better job bringing him down when they were supposed to be picking him up. He got up lazily to answer the door. He opened it to reveal Chandler smiling goofily while holding a pizza, a six-pack of beer and a video cassette.
"Hey man, did I wake you?" he asked innocently, knowing very well that he had. Joey gave him a cold stare. Chandler ignored it and walked in. "Soo...did you sleep well?"
Joey looked at him in disbelief before answering, "It was kinda hard to tell seein' as how I wasn't finished-"
Chandler cut him off, "Well, I brought food, booze, and a little *something* to cheer you up." Joey faked a loud yawn to give Chandler the hint to leave. "Trust me Joe, you are gonna LOVE this. It's ALL female with female." Joey stood with his arms crossed glaring menacingly at Chandler. "Oh come on!" he whined pleadingly. He changed his tone to be more sincere. "We haven't hung out for so long...I miss you, man." Joey tried not to smile.
"Try again," he said. Chandler sighed.
"Monica won't let me watch it unless it'll cheer you up..." he mumbled. "Why do you need the fantasy when you've got the real thing?" Chandler mimicked his wife. Joey smiled. He knew him better than anybody. After living with him for almost 6 years, it was hard NOT to know him. Still, Joey loved Chandler like the brother he never had.
"Put the tape in," Joey said grinning. "And there'd better be extra olives on that pizza," he said as he caught a beer Chandler tossed him.
************************************************************************
After about a half an hour into the movie, Chandler couldn't stand it. Joey didn't seem to be enjoying it at all. He wasn't making any of the obscene comments he usually made during these "films". His eyes kept looking away from the screen during all of the "good" parts. Chandler turned the VCR and TV off with the remote and turned his chair to face Joey. He sat there for awhile, just watching him intently. Joey hadn't even noticed the TV was turned off.
"Joe..." Chandler started. "Talk to me man." Joey turned to him aimlessly, his thoughts in complete disarray.
"Huh?" he asked simply.
"Tell me what happened last night Joe," Chandler said softly.
"I already told you before I went to bed last night," Joey replied.
"Uh, sayin 'Hey man, she turned me down, life sucks' and hanging up the phone isn't exactly telling me everything."
"Well uh...where do you want me to start?"
"How about at the beginning?" Chandler asked sarcastically.
"I took her out to dinner. You knew about that though," said Joey. Chandler nodded his head. "We kinda danced, which was really cool, and then at the wrong time I said I loved her and I basically freaked out after that."
"Wait back up...you danced?" asked Chandler in disbelief.
"Yeah...it was so nice..." Joey lost himself in the memory. "It was so cute the way her hand fit into mine...and you shoulda smelled her hair..." Chandler watched as Joey's face turned into a mushy love-sick lump.
"Wow Joe...you must really love her..." he said genuinely.
"Yeah well, doesn't matter now. And besides, this is all for the best," he said trying to convince himself more than Chandler. "She's havin' Ross's baby. I dunno what I was thinkin'."
"You were thinking, 'Hey I love this girl, maybe she loves me, I should tell her.' " said Chandler. "Don't beat yourself up about it. I mean, maybe Rachel's just, you know...practice or something until the right woman comes along. I think everybody has to get their heartbroken at least ONCE...Geez...look at what I went through just to end up with Monica..."
"You make that sound like Monica's a bad thing," said Phoebe. Surprised to hear another voice, they simultaneously jumped in their seats. The guys turned to face the door and saw Phoebe standing there. "But don't worry, I won't tell her." She winked at Chandler.
"Don't sneak up on us like that Pheebs!" cried Joey. "How the hell did you get in here?"
"Oh please, like your door is EVER locked," she argues. "Oh by the way, don't go in your bathroom. I came over earlier and you were still sleeping so to kill some time I washed some delicate 'unmentionables' of mine in your sink. They're hangin' on the shower rack," she said nonchalantly.
"Uh...okay," replied a confused Joey.
"Wait, I've been here for almost 45 minutes and it's a little past 10. How early were you here?" asked Chandler. Phoebe noticed the video cartridge and ignored his question.
"Oh hey! 'Women of the Amazon!' I watched this!" she says excitedly. "VERY sexy."
"Oh yeah?" asked Chandler just as excited. He gets an idea. "You should tell Monica that! Maybe if you convinced her she'd watch it with me since that, you know, Joe kinda ruined the moment."
"Yeah...hmm..." Phoebe thought. "Uh, no I don't think so." she replied simply.
"Why not?!" asked Chandler incredulously.
"Cuz' she's all, you know...Monica..." said Phoebe. "And besides, it would just make her unhappy with what she has." Chandler looked at her confused. "Meaning it would make her want a woman! I swear you can be so air-headed sometimes."
"Oh." was all Chandler could say. Then he looked at her incredulously, "I can be air-headed? Me?" Phoebe nodded her head as she picked off a crust of pizza and ate it. "Oh...forget it," mumbled Chandler.
"So Joe...how are you doing?" asked Phoebe cautiously.
"Uh, hmm...you-you know how when sometimes you get really drunk and stupid and the next morning you wake up somewhere unknown and sleeping next to you naked is someone REALLY unattractive who you don't even remember meeting and it feels like your head's been just demolished?" he asked Phoebe.
"Yuh-huh..."
"Yeah well, it's a million times worse than that."
"Man, don't exaggerate," said Chandler.
"Dude, I'm not! That's how I really feel! I mean, look at it this way. I'm 31 years old and I barely found out what love was...It's gonna take another 31 years just to forget!" replied a depressed Joey.
"Wait, forget??" asked Phoebe. "What do you mean forget? I'm sorry honey, once you make acquaintances with Mr. Love, you can't just brush him off..." She gathered her thoughts, "It's kinda like meeting the God Father..."
"I just...guys, I can't do this...you know? I feel like my heart's been literary ripped from my chest and then stepped on...by elephants."
"You mean literally," corrected Chandler.
"What?! Have you not been listening? We're not talkin' about books Chandler!" Joey looked at him disbelievingly. Chandler didn't even bother to argue. Phoebe then walked over to Joey from where she was standing and sat on his lap. She stroked his hair in an effort to comfort him.
"Joey...we've all been there..." she told him soothingly. "That's the thing about Love...it hurts a lot and sometimes you don't know why...but eventually, it'll be worth it. You'll see..." she kissed him on the top of his head. Joey tried hard not to cry.
"Thanks guys...but umm...I think I just need to be alone for awhile...I'll give you guys a call later...maybe we can have dinner or something..." he said gravely.
"Yeah, sure man," said Chandler sympathetically. "We'll be right next door if you need anything." Phoebe got up from his lap. She stood over him, staring hard at his face for a few minutes longer. She finally knelt down on the floor so that their eyes were level.
"Joey...don't get me wrong, I love Rachel and all...but if she doesn't want the love you are SO willing to give, maybe-maybe she doesn't deserve you..." she said while keeping intense eye contact. Joey nodded understanding what she meant. With that, she and Chandler left the apartment leaving Joey to drown in his anguish.
************************************************************************
Later on in the afternoon, Joey's door eventually received another visitor, this person knocking on it a lot more gently. He hadn't been able to sleep since Chandler and Phoebe left, but he still didn't want to be bothered. He walked heavily to answer the door and looked into the peephole. What he saw took him completely by surprise. He apprehensively opened the door while taking in a deep breath.
"Rachel..." he whispered both confused and nervous.
"Hi sweetie...can I come in?" she asked quietly.
"Uh yeah sure, of course," he said moving aside so she could walk through. She went to go sit on the chair in the living room as Joey leaned on a stool by the kitchen. Before she sat down, she glanced around the apartment and noticed an unusual amount of women's lingerie hanging inside the bathroom. She started to wonder whether Joey's words last night were true, or just a hoax to get her in the sack. Or maybe he just got over women he fell for really easily. Or maybe he saw her as just another potential trophy...Wait a minute, who was she kidding? Joey would never do that to her, would he?
"Umm, Joe, I-I don't want to seem nosey, but are, I mean there's like a shit-load of panties hanging in your bathroom and I-" she said bluntly
"What?!" Joey exclaimed and looked over into the bathroom. He remembered what Phoebe said. "Oh! No, Rach...those are umm...Phoebe's. You see she was here earlier and she did some laundry..." he mumbled trying to explain.
"Oh," said Rachel feeling incredibly sheepish. "It wasn't really my place to ask anyway I dunno, I guess the pregnancy has made me so stupidly curious I-"
Joey cuts her off, "Rach, you can always ask me anything. Okay? I-I could never get mad at you..." he said locking his gaze on her. He tried to pry his eyes away, but once again he was defeated. She nodded quietly, and then slowly continued.
"Joey honey, I think we should talk..." said Rachel as her voice trailed off.
"Umm, okay..." he said unsurely. "About what?" he was afraid of the answer.
"I-I just didn't like the way things were left last night," she responded. "I mean, we didn't even really get to talk this through..."
"Rach," sighed Joey. "There's really nothing left to talk about..." he said sadly.
"Joey of course there is...I mean, I don't want you to...I don't like seeing you this way...and maybe if we talked we could resolve-" she exhaled angrily. Joey could tell she was trying very hard not to blubber. "Damn it one hour! One freakin' hour is all I'm asking for and I can't even do this without crying for one minute! Where the hell did my sanity go?!"
"Rachel, don't-don't say anymore okay? I can take it when you cry..." he looked away. She tried her best to continue and calmed herself down.
"But Joey I need to talk-"
Joey abruptly cut her off, "It was wrong for me to ever think that you'd feel the same, not to mention I was completely disrespectful to you and Ross because of the pregnancy...I mean, seriously..." she let him continue, intrigued and relieved that she finally got him to open up to her. "And just because I'm in love with you isn't a guarantee that you'll love me back...I know that I'm supposed to get my heart broken. I mean, that's what love's about, right?" Joey sighed. "I-I tried so hard to fight this, Rach." Rachel sat astonished, carefully paying attention to each word leaving his mouth. This wasn't Joey. This was...somebody different. This Joey was mature, and honorable, and...hopelessly in love with her...It was as if she was looking at him for the very first time. "I can't stand looking weak in front of you. I can't stand feeling so vulnerable and helpless when it comes to you. I wanted so badly just to make you understand how I feel...it's like every time I see you my heart leaps out of my chest and just drags along on your every word, and this scares the shit out of me because I've never felt like this, ever...and I'm even more afraid that I'm never going to be able to stop loving-"
Joey's relentless venting was disrupted by a desperate kiss from Rachel, who, in an attempt to subside his frustrations, leapt off the chair impatiently to meet her lips with his. However, the simplicity of Rachel's intentions grew complex as the kiss lingered and deepened; allowing them to passionately search for the unexplainable. What they both received from that kiss was beyond profound... and completely unanticipated.
To Be Continued...
This fic included the song "Somewhere In Between" by Lifehouse.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...sure wish I did though...
Joey entered his apartment and quickly turned on the lights. He quietly closed the door and turned around to face the solitude that surrounded him. Shutting his eyes, he exhaled deeply, and leaned his back against the door. Home. Finally. He had hoped that once he was there, he'd feel safe somehow. He was wrong. It wasn't safety he was looking for...it was reassurance. The disappointment that tugged at his heart didn't compare to the foolishness that flooded it. He just wanted the night to end. He wanted to forget everything that happened. He wanted to stop loving her. But he knew that what he wanted was impossible. No matter where he was, his thoughts were inescapable. He looked down at his hands.
I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I'll have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing
'How could I have been so stupid?' Angry thoughts invaded his head, 'You don't tell a pregnant woman who's having your best friend's baby you love her! She has enough problems of her own...' What did he expect Rachel to do? He shook his head in solemnity. 'It's my own fault I'm hurting...' he tried to reason with himself. 'It's my fault...'
Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
Magnetically, his eyes wandered over to the doorway of the room Rachel used to occupy. He tightened his jaw. His eyes began to sting. This was too much. How did it get this far? This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to fall for Rachel. If someone had told him a year ago that he was going to fall in love, let alone with her, he would've laughed in their face and risked his life savings on the impossibility. He was unfamiliar with terms like "commitment" and "romance". That "mushy" love stuff wasn't his style. It was Ross's. It was Chandler's. It WASN'T Joey's. He liked the thrill of the chase. He liked bachelorhood: fast women; no strings; no complications. But now...now it's all changed. Now, even if he made that bet and lost, he wouldn't care if he ended up homeless, so long as he had Rachel. But he didn't. The one woman who's responsible for this, the only woman he's ever loved...didn't love him back.
This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
'Maybe I just don't deserve her...'he thought. Maybe karma had finally caught up to him and was kicking his ass ten-fold. Hell, this was infinite-fold. He lost count of the number of hearts he'd broken, and cared very little. But now he realized that all of those cheap flings and one- night stands didn't compare to even a second of Rachel's company.
Cuz I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream...
He hastily wiped the wetness from his face. He was not going to wallow in self-pity. Enough was enough. He tried this "love" thing. It obviously wasn't for him. 'Guys like me aren't made to fall in love,' he decided. He stood up straight to collect himself and pushed remaining thoughts of Rachel aside. Then, he headed for his room. Before turning off the lights, he stood at his bedroom doorway facing the emptiness of his living room. Unable to prevent a somber frown, Joey realized for the first time that he was experiencing loneliness.
Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this...
Then the apartment went dark.
************************************************************************
The next day...
A harsh pounding on the front door wrecked the 2 hours sleep that Joey had mentally fought for the previous night. Annoyed, he tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, the knocks just got louder and more persistent.
"Damn it all..." he mumbled. He knew it was either Chandler, Phoebe or Monica and the last thing he needed was a "sympathy" talk. He knew his friends meant well, but sometimes, they did a better job bringing him down when they were supposed to be picking him up. He got up lazily to answer the door. He opened it to reveal Chandler smiling goofily while holding a pizza, a six-pack of beer and a video cassette.
"Hey man, did I wake you?" he asked innocently, knowing very well that he had. Joey gave him a cold stare. Chandler ignored it and walked in. "Soo...did you sleep well?"
Joey looked at him in disbelief before answering, "It was kinda hard to tell seein' as how I wasn't finished-"
Chandler cut him off, "Well, I brought food, booze, and a little *something* to cheer you up." Joey faked a loud yawn to give Chandler the hint to leave. "Trust me Joe, you are gonna LOVE this. It's ALL female with female." Joey stood with his arms crossed glaring menacingly at Chandler. "Oh come on!" he whined pleadingly. He changed his tone to be more sincere. "We haven't hung out for so long...I miss you, man." Joey tried not to smile.
"Try again," he said. Chandler sighed.
"Monica won't let me watch it unless it'll cheer you up..." he mumbled. "Why do you need the fantasy when you've got the real thing?" Chandler mimicked his wife. Joey smiled. He knew him better than anybody. After living with him for almost 6 years, it was hard NOT to know him. Still, Joey loved Chandler like the brother he never had.
"Put the tape in," Joey said grinning. "And there'd better be extra olives on that pizza," he said as he caught a beer Chandler tossed him.
************************************************************************
After about a half an hour into the movie, Chandler couldn't stand it. Joey didn't seem to be enjoying it at all. He wasn't making any of the obscene comments he usually made during these "films". His eyes kept looking away from the screen during all of the "good" parts. Chandler turned the VCR and TV off with the remote and turned his chair to face Joey. He sat there for awhile, just watching him intently. Joey hadn't even noticed the TV was turned off.
"Joe..." Chandler started. "Talk to me man." Joey turned to him aimlessly, his thoughts in complete disarray.
"Huh?" he asked simply.
"Tell me what happened last night Joe," Chandler said softly.
"I already told you before I went to bed last night," Joey replied.
"Uh, sayin 'Hey man, she turned me down, life sucks' and hanging up the phone isn't exactly telling me everything."
"Well uh...where do you want me to start?"
"How about at the beginning?" Chandler asked sarcastically.
"I took her out to dinner. You knew about that though," said Joey. Chandler nodded his head. "We kinda danced, which was really cool, and then at the wrong time I said I loved her and I basically freaked out after that."
"Wait back up...you danced?" asked Chandler in disbelief.
"Yeah...it was so nice..." Joey lost himself in the memory. "It was so cute the way her hand fit into mine...and you shoulda smelled her hair..." Chandler watched as Joey's face turned into a mushy love-sick lump.
"Wow Joe...you must really love her..." he said genuinely.
"Yeah well, doesn't matter now. And besides, this is all for the best," he said trying to convince himself more than Chandler. "She's havin' Ross's baby. I dunno what I was thinkin'."
"You were thinking, 'Hey I love this girl, maybe she loves me, I should tell her.' " said Chandler. "Don't beat yourself up about it. I mean, maybe Rachel's just, you know...practice or something until the right woman comes along. I think everybody has to get their heartbroken at least ONCE...Geez...look at what I went through just to end up with Monica..."
"You make that sound like Monica's a bad thing," said Phoebe. Surprised to hear another voice, they simultaneously jumped in their seats. The guys turned to face the door and saw Phoebe standing there. "But don't worry, I won't tell her." She winked at Chandler.
"Don't sneak up on us like that Pheebs!" cried Joey. "How the hell did you get in here?"
"Oh please, like your door is EVER locked," she argues. "Oh by the way, don't go in your bathroom. I came over earlier and you were still sleeping so to kill some time I washed some delicate 'unmentionables' of mine in your sink. They're hangin' on the shower rack," she said nonchalantly.
"Uh...okay," replied a confused Joey.
"Wait, I've been here for almost 45 minutes and it's a little past 10. How early were you here?" asked Chandler. Phoebe noticed the video cartridge and ignored his question.
"Oh hey! 'Women of the Amazon!' I watched this!" she says excitedly. "VERY sexy."
"Oh yeah?" asked Chandler just as excited. He gets an idea. "You should tell Monica that! Maybe if you convinced her she'd watch it with me since that, you know, Joe kinda ruined the moment."
"Yeah...hmm..." Phoebe thought. "Uh, no I don't think so." she replied simply.
"Why not?!" asked Chandler incredulously.
"Cuz' she's all, you know...Monica..." said Phoebe. "And besides, it would just make her unhappy with what she has." Chandler looked at her confused. "Meaning it would make her want a woman! I swear you can be so air-headed sometimes."
"Oh." was all Chandler could say. Then he looked at her incredulously, "I can be air-headed? Me?" Phoebe nodded her head as she picked off a crust of pizza and ate it. "Oh...forget it," mumbled Chandler.
"So Joe...how are you doing?" asked Phoebe cautiously.
"Uh, hmm...you-you know how when sometimes you get really drunk and stupid and the next morning you wake up somewhere unknown and sleeping next to you naked is someone REALLY unattractive who you don't even remember meeting and it feels like your head's been just demolished?" he asked Phoebe.
"Yuh-huh..."
"Yeah well, it's a million times worse than that."
"Man, don't exaggerate," said Chandler.
"Dude, I'm not! That's how I really feel! I mean, look at it this way. I'm 31 years old and I barely found out what love was...It's gonna take another 31 years just to forget!" replied a depressed Joey.
"Wait, forget??" asked Phoebe. "What do you mean forget? I'm sorry honey, once you make acquaintances with Mr. Love, you can't just brush him off..." She gathered her thoughts, "It's kinda like meeting the God Father..."
"I just...guys, I can't do this...you know? I feel like my heart's been literary ripped from my chest and then stepped on...by elephants."
"You mean literally," corrected Chandler.
"What?! Have you not been listening? We're not talkin' about books Chandler!" Joey looked at him disbelievingly. Chandler didn't even bother to argue. Phoebe then walked over to Joey from where she was standing and sat on his lap. She stroked his hair in an effort to comfort him.
"Joey...we've all been there..." she told him soothingly. "That's the thing about Love...it hurts a lot and sometimes you don't know why...but eventually, it'll be worth it. You'll see..." she kissed him on the top of his head. Joey tried hard not to cry.
"Thanks guys...but umm...I think I just need to be alone for awhile...I'll give you guys a call later...maybe we can have dinner or something..." he said gravely.
"Yeah, sure man," said Chandler sympathetically. "We'll be right next door if you need anything." Phoebe got up from his lap. She stood over him, staring hard at his face for a few minutes longer. She finally knelt down on the floor so that their eyes were level.
"Joey...don't get me wrong, I love Rachel and all...but if she doesn't want the love you are SO willing to give, maybe-maybe she doesn't deserve you..." she said while keeping intense eye contact. Joey nodded understanding what she meant. With that, she and Chandler left the apartment leaving Joey to drown in his anguish.
************************************************************************
Later on in the afternoon, Joey's door eventually received another visitor, this person knocking on it a lot more gently. He hadn't been able to sleep since Chandler and Phoebe left, but he still didn't want to be bothered. He walked heavily to answer the door and looked into the peephole. What he saw took him completely by surprise. He apprehensively opened the door while taking in a deep breath.
"Rachel..." he whispered both confused and nervous.
"Hi sweetie...can I come in?" she asked quietly.
"Uh yeah sure, of course," he said moving aside so she could walk through. She went to go sit on the chair in the living room as Joey leaned on a stool by the kitchen. Before she sat down, she glanced around the apartment and noticed an unusual amount of women's lingerie hanging inside the bathroom. She started to wonder whether Joey's words last night were true, or just a hoax to get her in the sack. Or maybe he just got over women he fell for really easily. Or maybe he saw her as just another potential trophy...Wait a minute, who was she kidding? Joey would never do that to her, would he?
"Umm, Joe, I-I don't want to seem nosey, but are, I mean there's like a shit-load of panties hanging in your bathroom and I-" she said bluntly
"What?!" Joey exclaimed and looked over into the bathroom. He remembered what Phoebe said. "Oh! No, Rach...those are umm...Phoebe's. You see she was here earlier and she did some laundry..." he mumbled trying to explain.
"Oh," said Rachel feeling incredibly sheepish. "It wasn't really my place to ask anyway I dunno, I guess the pregnancy has made me so stupidly curious I-"
Joey cuts her off, "Rach, you can always ask me anything. Okay? I-I could never get mad at you..." he said locking his gaze on her. He tried to pry his eyes away, but once again he was defeated. She nodded quietly, and then slowly continued.
"Joey honey, I think we should talk..." said Rachel as her voice trailed off.
"Umm, okay..." he said unsurely. "About what?" he was afraid of the answer.
"I-I just didn't like the way things were left last night," she responded. "I mean, we didn't even really get to talk this through..."
"Rach," sighed Joey. "There's really nothing left to talk about..." he said sadly.
"Joey of course there is...I mean, I don't want you to...I don't like seeing you this way...and maybe if we talked we could resolve-" she exhaled angrily. Joey could tell she was trying very hard not to blubber. "Damn it one hour! One freakin' hour is all I'm asking for and I can't even do this without crying for one minute! Where the hell did my sanity go?!"
"Rachel, don't-don't say anymore okay? I can take it when you cry..." he looked away. She tried her best to continue and calmed herself down.
"But Joey I need to talk-"
Joey abruptly cut her off, "It was wrong for me to ever think that you'd feel the same, not to mention I was completely disrespectful to you and Ross because of the pregnancy...I mean, seriously..." she let him continue, intrigued and relieved that she finally got him to open up to her. "And just because I'm in love with you isn't a guarantee that you'll love me back...I know that I'm supposed to get my heart broken. I mean, that's what love's about, right?" Joey sighed. "I-I tried so hard to fight this, Rach." Rachel sat astonished, carefully paying attention to each word leaving his mouth. This wasn't Joey. This was...somebody different. This Joey was mature, and honorable, and...hopelessly in love with her...It was as if she was looking at him for the very first time. "I can't stand looking weak in front of you. I can't stand feeling so vulnerable and helpless when it comes to you. I wanted so badly just to make you understand how I feel...it's like every time I see you my heart leaps out of my chest and just drags along on your every word, and this scares the shit out of me because I've never felt like this, ever...and I'm even more afraid that I'm never going to be able to stop loving-"
Joey's relentless venting was disrupted by a desperate kiss from Rachel, who, in an attempt to subside his frustrations, leapt off the chair impatiently to meet her lips with his. However, the simplicity of Rachel's intentions grew complex as the kiss lingered and deepened; allowing them to passionately search for the unexplainable. What they both received from that kiss was beyond profound... and completely unanticipated.
To Be Continued...
This fic included the song "Somewhere In Between" by Lifehouse.
