UM23



Thank you for all your helpful reviews! Oh yeah, whoever wrote the anonymous review as 'love bug' go to hell. What does 'sry' mean? I hope it's not like 'plz' shortcuts.



Oh, yeah, no offense to Ann Landers, (I've read it myself for the last five years) I hope your name isn't copyrighted, but I think it would be funny to use in my story.



PS. Diamond is the only one I'm not using the Japanese name for, because Demando is so hard to spell! It's like calling Bulma Buruma, or Krillin Kuririn. It's the same #$%*ing thing!



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Ann Landers (Boy are we desperate)



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"Usagi... what do you mean you slept with Diamond?" Mamoru said slowly. Usagi felt a pang of guilt, remembering that day... sorry... night...



**Begin Flashback**



(Note- this is half set in the future, half in the past)



When Usagi had gone to the future, after they had defeated Nemesis, they had some extra time, and decided to stay a while. After all, they could just go back in time for the time they missed! No one would ever know they were gone!



Usagi was talking with Serenity, who finally told her that Diamond was the father. Usagi couldn't believe how that was true.



A few weeks later, she could.



Diamond's future self had been killed, but his past self still existed. He came back to the future, and met Usagi.



They became friends, and decided to forget about their former kenka and stay friends.



They became more than friends.



Once Rei had caught them kissing, and they had to make up a big lie, and swore her to silence. She didn't tell anyone their affair was going on, but she still knew about it.



One night, they had just gone to a party, and were both a little drunk. They kissed goodbye at the door, but instead of waving goodbye, Usagi invited him in. It was after midnight, and everyone else was asleep.



Usagi and Diamond woke up that morning in Usagi's bed. They decided not mention it to anyone else, and make sure no one else knew. But Serenity found out. Of course she already knew, but (Ugh... time is so confusing!!!!!) Whatever.



Usagi, to prevent anything like this happening again, banished him and his brother, taking us to where the Black moon saga begins. Except the reason Diamond wanted Chibi-Usa was he wanted to see his daughter! They both knew she wasn't Mamoru's.



**End flashback**



Usagi sighed. Then she noticed Mamoru was gone, and the sun was setting.



"Oh my! I must have been flashback-ing so long that it's already nighttime! I'd better find some place to stay fro the night, as Mamoru's staying at our house!" She headed off down the road.



**

Diamond watched her, in a daze. Then he got a scathingly brilliant idea! (Ever seen 'The trouble with angels'?) He jumped out of the spaceship, and landed on his two feet, perfectly un-harmed, next to Usagi, thinking 'How did that happen?'

**



Usagi looked at Diamond and blushed and blushed and blushed until her face was completely red. "Uh... Diamond... um... long time no see!"



"Usagi-chan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He gazed at her for a very long time.



"Is that all you're going to do, stare at me?" Usagi pouted. They hadn't seen each other for years, and this is all she gets (Ok- let's say she's pregnant, but only a few weeks, so she isn't fat- that makes no sense, since IT was a few years ago, but let's pretend, ok?)



"Usagi-chan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He stopped gazing and gave her a staggering kiss. They stood together for a long time, with their tongues in each other's mouth, wrapping their arms around one another.



Mamoru watched from behind the safety of the bench. He was jealous. He decided to go home. That is the end of Mamoru for this chapter.



After they finally stopped necking (Without taking a breath o_O) Usagi gazed at him. "Diamond-sama. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." He frowned. "Who's gazing now?"



"I'm sorry, Diamond-sama. . . . . . . . . . . ." "STOP!" "OK!"



***



Usagi felt a little guilty staying with Diamond. Going to first base with Diamond. And second. And third. And, well, she always was a good baseball player *wink wink* *nudge nudge*



Maybe a LITTLE guilty. Not much.



But it was still a little. She had to do something. She couldn't talk to Diamond, so she decided to do the next best thing.



Usagi flipped through the newspaper, until she found it. "Ah! Here it is!" She scribbled down the address on an envelop, and wrote on a piece of paper:



Dear Ann Landers:

I am a young girl who has just broken up with my husband. I am pregnant to another man, and am currently staying with him. I don't know which one I like more, but I kinda like both. What should I do?

-Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503



Usagi sealed the envelope and mailed it.



The next day in the newspaper, there was a letter from a certain 'Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503' in Ann Landers. She had replied:



Dear Sweetiehotgalbootyliciousbadassmoonchick5503-

Marry the cuter one. Get money from the other.



"That's a good idea!"



Usagi decided to do just that.



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Was it funny? Was it unexpected? Was it romantic? Review and tell me what YOU think!