When Ian dropped Lucy off at her house, they softly kissed goodbye, though Lucy suspected that someone was probably watching from the house. I'll see ya later, Ian said.
Lucy said. They had exchanged phone numbers, and Lucy was looking forward to seeing him again.
What she wasn't looking forward to was entering her house. She remembered with twisting stomach the promise she had made to her mother the night before about being home on time. She knew her parents and siblings would be worried about her and curious about where she'd been and what she'd been doing during her absence. Lucy recalled the time her older brother Matt had been out all night, and her parents had been sick with worry and rage, worried that he had gotten himself married, enraged that their adult son would dare stay out all night. Well, Lucy certainly hadn't gotten hitched, but she knew it would be unwise to tell her parents what she had been really doing.
Sure enough, when Lucy opened the door, there stood her mother. Upon seeing her daughter, her face twisted with anger.
Lucy, where were you all night? We've been worried sick! You couldn't have been at the pool hall, Annie said.
Lucy sighed. I was at party.
What? You lied to me! Anne screamed, face contorted with fury.
Her mother's screams made something boil within Lucy, made her want to scream back, but she fought to control herself. Yelling back would only reduce her to her mother's level, and more than anything she did not want to be a clone of Annie. Lucy had let loose her anger other times, with dire results, and it always made her feel guilty and regretful afterward. So instead of a scream, Lucy responded in a calm voice. I know, Mom, and I'm really sorry for it. I was just afraid if you knew the truth you wouldn't let me go.
And why do you think that? Because I need to know what my daughter's doing, where she is, who she's with. I have to know these things, or else how can I protect you, make sure my baby's all right? Annie spoke in a calm voice also, but it was carefully controlled, and her eyes seemed to burn, as if on fire. How can you be protected if you're at some wild party?
Lucy sighed. It wasn't a wild party, Mom. She knew it was only a half-truth, and her judgment was relative, but her mother's ignorance was so aggravating.
Wild party or not, the issue is you betrayed my trust. You lied about where you were going and you didn't come back when you were supposed to.
I know, Mom. And I told you I was sorry for it. I don't know what else you want, except for me to not do it again, which I promise I won't. Lucy was embarrassed by her words. In a normal family this wouldn't even be an issue.
Annie sighed and rubbed her forehead. Okay, okay, I can see that you're sorry, and I guess I forgive you. But what were you doing all night? Please don't tell me you got drunk, Lucy.
Lucy knew she could blame her alleged irresponsibility on her drinking, but although she'd been a bit woozy, she'd been far from drunk. But she knew telling the truth would horrify her mother even more than getting drunk would.
Lucy said lamely, I was just hanging out with friends. I guess we lost track of time, and then I fell asleep. It was stupid of me.
Annie still looked highly suspicious, and Lucy had a feeling her mother suspected that her daughter had been doing what she had really been doing. But all Annie said was, All right. Well, we all make mistakes, but I do not want to see you making this mistake again, or lying to me, or else there will be more severe consequences.
Lucy smiled and breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't been punished. Thanks, Mom. Don't worry, I won't make that mistake again.
She retreated to her room, and lay back on her bed, tired. She still had a sick, nervous feeling in her stomach from the encounter with her mother. Her parents still treated her like she was in high school. Lucy had put up with it, but this was the final straw. She was sick of living here and having to put up with this nonsense, disgusted with her family's sick definiton of good parenting and morals.
Even worse, the confrontation with her mother had made Lucy's previously blissful memory of the night before now guilty and dirty. She rolled over and sighed. Why was she always plagued by all this guilt? She knew it was from her parents and their preaching, and it sickened her. Parents weren't supposed to raise their children like this, to be filled with guilt and dirtiness over things that usually elicited joy and merriment. With that thought, she knew she must get out of here, away from her family.
Well, thank God for Ian, Lucy thought, facing up again. He was unlike all the other men in her life, treating her like a real person with legitimate thoughts and feelings. Maybe her relationship wit him could be a step in the right direction, a step away from her family. Ian could help her overcome her parents' rule and become her own woman, a woman no longer plagued by guilt and adhering to her own set of morals, a woman who would raise her children with love and caring. Lucy reminded herself that she would only allow him to help her, not to guide her, on her journey. She couldn't become her own woman if she still allowed a man to rule her life.
