*Notes*

-I do not own x-men evolution or its characters in any way, shape or form

-This is my own personal fanfic; please don't re-post it as your own… thx

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5/15-Wednesday

Dear Diary,

Happiness only lasts so long. Eventually it becomes lost and forgotten and gives way to sorrow and pain. Nightmares become reality and dreams become meaningless. What's the point of holding onto a hope when hope fails me again and again? I build myself up with this grand dream, believing in good and pure but it's all shattered in a few seconds time. Completely shattered. Years of wishes and dreams all to be ruined in one small instance. What kind of sick and twisted joke is this? What a cruel hand fate has dealt to me.

I can find solutions to life problems but I can't find solutions on how to make my heart stop hurting. A wise man once said, "Time heals all wounds." Screw wise men! Time just dulls the pain. It's always there, buried deep in your mind; waiting for a chance to resurface when you least expect it to. This pain I feel will be a constant reminder throughout all of time. It will torment me, haunt me, play with me. Pain is the master and I'm just the puppet it controls.

I search for this magical inner-strength everyone believes I have but I can't find it. I know I can fool myself… turn the pain into anger and hate. But will that really make it ok? Will that really make things easier to handle? It will help me to move forward with my life but it's not really a solution, just more of a temporary fix. So many unresolved issues will linger in my mind, and I know I will never fully be able to let them go. I'll be haunted with this for the rest of my life.

All I can do is cry endless tears and feel immense sorrow. The happy ending I foolish thought I knew deep in my heart has blown up in my face. What I believed was true turned out to be everything but. What a sick and twisted world this really is. I hate it, I hate it all!!!!!

It's so unfair, but what can I do about it?

Sorry diary, I'm just incredibly depressed over last night. I even skipped school today. I can't focus on much except all this pain I feel.

The Professor understood. Oh, he got an urgent call today and took off, leaving Evan's aunt and Mr. McCoy in charge. We're still expected to have double practice sessions but under someone else's supervision. He said he'd be back in a day or so. Jean is to keep using Cerebo to track Logan and we're to assemble the team if anything goes wrong.



I'm sorry, I just don't feel like writing anymore, I'm starting to cry again

~Kitty~