*Notes*

-I do not own x-men evolution or its characters in any way, shape or form

-This is my personal fanfic; please don't re-post it as your own… thx

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6/4-Tuesday

Dear Diary,

We've got the place! Kurt followed Trask again today and he returned to that private road. This time Kurt made it a little farther up. There's a ton more cameras and they're focused everywhere. Well everywhere except up in the sky from what Kurt noticed. That will play a big part in how we get into the place. He almost got caught when he realized a camera was turning right his way but he teleported out of there quick. I can only hope he didn't get caught by the lens.

Ororo's going to fly over the area tonight. She's going to get a better layout of the land, take note of where cameras are as well, find the entry point to get in and just figure out the best course of action we can take. If all goes well and we get enough information to come up with a plan that will work, we're going to make our move Thursday night. The sooner the better I say.

Pietro and the bad guys struck again. They got another bank and this time it looks like Magneto WAS involved. The metal vault door was bent, something an explosion couldn't do.

A few anti-mutant stores were also ransacked last night. The news is reporting to everyone that it's a blatant mutant attack. The mutant-rights group that's forming here in Bayville thinks otherwise. The debate is getting hotter and tempers are flaring on all sides. People are picketing city hall. This is ridiculous. With so much already going on, now this too-I swear I'm going to go crazy! One local news station is asking for "those good-guy mutants" to put a stop to it all. We're doing the best that we can!

It's not like there's a million of us or anything! I'm surprised one of us X-Men hasn't lost our minds yet. I know I'm close to it! Scott says that once everything gets resolved with getting the Professor and others back, we're going to be at the forefront of this battle.

I just got the eeriest feeling that someone's watching me. I'm at the park right now and there's no one around. I'm looking; looking… nope I don't see anyone. This is freaking me out.

OK, I JUST HEARD A TWIG BREAK!!!

Someone's out there. I've got to go…

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Omg, it was Lance-the dork! He nearly gave me a heart attack! I started to run away thru some trees and he grabbed my arm from behind. I screamed, swung as I turned around and I clocked him right in the jaw. He let out a big "OW!" and let go of my arm. I turned back around and took a few steps before I realized that it was him. I stopped and turned to face him once more. He was holding his hand to his jaw and he joked that I had a killer right hook. I yelled at him that he scared me half to death and I went to hit him again. He backed away and said that one punch was enough. I asked him what he thought he was doing by freaking me out and he apologized. He said he was waiting for the right moment to come up to me because I looked busy writing. Then he joked that next time he won't wait as long and say something before ever freaking me out again. I laughed at him before I remembered that I'm spitting nails angry with him for other reasons.

I went from scared-angry to angry-angry. I asked him what he wanted and he told me he got my reply note. He said it made him feel so bad by what I wrote to him. I told him, "Good, you should feel bad for betraying me like that," and he looked at the ground. Then he looked me in the eyes and said something to the effect of:

"You're right Kitty, I should have told you. I can say I'm sorry a million times but that won't change what I did. But know that I truly am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I really am pathetic and weak. I don't think for myself. I let others lead me and I go around acting like it was all my idea. You of all people don't deserve that. You are good and kind and pure and I'm nothing but a jerk. I will make this up to you, Kitty. I promise I will. I know I can't replace your house or your memories or anyone else's for that matter but somehow, someway, I will make it ok again. You are one of the most important things to me and I love you. I love you with all my heart--forever, Kitty. One day I will gain your trust and respect back by honest means. No more underhandedness when it comes to you, I promise. I know my words don't hold any weight but just you wait and see. Please be patient, it will be worth your wait."

As he was saying this, looking at me, he walked closer and closer till he was holding one of my hands. My anger was lost somewhere during the middle of his speech. Then he bent down and kissed me.

I didn't put my arms around him or anything but I returned the kiss. Tears were flowing as usual. Something in my mind kept telling me "NO, break this kiss NOW!" but I just pushed it away. To be honest, it felt so good. He finally broke the kiss and moved a piece of my hair behind my ears. There was so much love in his eyes and I just couldn't get a grasp on my anger towards him. I wanted to say, "I forgive you," but I'm glad now that the words didn't come. He took a few steps backwards and said, "I love you," once more. Then he turned and left.

I cried a bunch like always. I'm so stupid! One part of me feels so much anger and the other part of me feels so much love. Why do I still love this guy? Am I fooling myself into thinking he might really mean what he says? Or am I fooling myself into thinking that he won't change? I've got two extremes battling it out inside of my head and heart and I don't know which one I should really believe in. My grandmother always told me to give people as many chances as they deserved but to also realize when it's hopeless and stop giving those chances out. Is it hopeless? What if he does make it up to me but a few weeks down the line he hurts me again? But what if he doesn't end up hurting me again? My grandmother also said, "You'll never know unless you try." One half of me says try, the other half says give it up. If I try and I get hurt it's my own fault. But if I don't try then I'll never really know. Can I live with that? Will I grow to regret giving up on Lance? Or will I end up regretting that I someday forgave him? I don't know what to do! I'm so confused!

This royally sucks and now my head hurts from crying.

~Kitty~