Chapter 8 – Breaking hearts

Pippin and Merry reached Hobbiton the next morning. Knocking on the green front door of Bag End it was answered by Sam.

"Masters Meriadoc and Peregrin, it is nice to see you." Sam shook their hands "We've only just received your letter so you will have to excuse the mess, Rosie hasn't really been doing any cleaning of late, though I do try my best." Sam continued chattering as he led Merry and Pip into the kitchen at Bag End. On a chair by the fire sat Rose. In her arms was a bundle of white cloth that she was cooing over. Pip leant over to kiss Rose. "And this must be the lovely Elanor, may I?" Rose passed the bundle into Pippin's arms. The baby looked up at him out of big blue eyes. "Well I am glad she has her mothers looks and not her fathers" laughed Pip handing the baby to Merry to hold. "But where she has got fair hair from I do not know"

"That's because she's special" answered Sam seriously "It was Mr. Frodo's idea to call her Elanor, for she is as pretty as the flowers of Lothlorien."

"And a name deservedly given." The company turned to see Frodo walk into the room.

"Where is my dear friend, Robin?" asked Rose "I thought she meant to come with you"

Pip looked at Frodo who had a worried look on his face. "No need to worry," he said turning back to Rose "I am afraid Robin has been detained at home though she apologises for her absence"

Frodo's worried look did not disappear.

They continued to fuss over the baby while Sam prepared supper for them all. Rose had wanted to do it but Sam had insisted "You need to keep your strength" he told her "I'm quite capable."

And no one had argued especially after a fine meal of cold meats and potatoes cooked in herbs.

After supper Merry and Sam went into the garden with their pipes. "Are you joining us Pip?" asked Sam

"Yes I will" replied Pippin "But there is some business I must discuss with Frodo first"

Frodo led Pip into the room were he spent most of his time. The desk was littered with papers and notes and a large leather bound book lay open. Frodo sat at his desk while Pip remained standing.

"Why hasn't she come Pip" Frodo asked

"She could not come because her mother has been called away and she must remain at the house" Pip replied

"And what message do you carry from her?"

"I carry no message" Pip's heart ached to see the diminishing hope in Frodo's eyes.

"Though there is something I bear, a letter addressed to you" Pip handed him the envelope.

Frodo held the letter but did not open it. The room was silent; Pip could hear the birds singing and the murmur of Sam and Merry talking away at the bottom of the garden. After a minute Frodo looked up. "Dearest Peregrin. For many years have we been friends and journeys long we have travelled. I respect your opinion and would heed your counsel. Though I would presume from your detachment that you do not approve of the fondness for your cousin that I hold close to my heart."

"'Tis true that I have warned Robin to hold loyal to herself and to be wary when talking of love. But nay I cannot disapprove." Pip turned away. "I love my cousin dearly," he said quietly "More than anybody knows. Anyhow…." He said louder turning back to Frodo "That is why I want the best for her and of course for you. I could not help you take the ring to Mount Doom but now I am completely at your service and to do what I can to help, though I will not speak openly of Robins feelings."

"Your words are kind, Peregrin but I feel that your service may not be required. I hope my doubts are unfounded but I fear this letter does not bear good tidings. Tell me Pip, has she said anything to you?"

"If she had, than it would remain close to me" replied Pip

"Forgive me, I thought I was so sure of my feelings, but what can I be certain of in these days."

Pip's heart was touched "I cannot relieve your uncertainty Frodo, but I will say what I believe whether it be true or no. I think that Robin is scared to love you. She thinks more of others than she does herself and for her to feel that she has entrapped your affection would be agony to her mind. She feels that you would be better off alone or with somebody else. It is not that she doesn't care for you because even a fool can see that she does but she is so young and the ways of love are outlandish to her. I believe she would rather give you up now than to cause you pain in the future.

And as I cannot speak for Robin so I also should not speak for you but you cannot deny, Frodo, that your spirit has been troubled since our return to the Shire. Are you not sure that you are not just looking for an anchor, somebody to help keep you in the land that you were born. Do not use Robin for this purpose, be careful what you declare to her. But I beg of you please do not forget that she is but a child, in heart if not in mind and body. I would not see a Hobbit so innocent be broken at such a tender age. Nor do I wish you to be kept where you feel you don't belong. I am sorry for speaking my mind so honestly" Pippin finished and let out a sigh. Frodo remained quiet. "I will leave you now" finished Pip. He paused waiting to see if Frodo would say anything but he continued to look down at the letter, his hands shaking. Pip left the room.

Frodo looked at the letter for a long time before he drew courage to open it. When he had he read:

Dear Frodo,

My mind is weary whilst I write this and my heart grows heavier by the day.

I cannot rest as when I am awake my thoughts never wander far from you and whilst I sleep you are in my dreams. I had always imagined that I would have some control of my feelings if chance would have it that I found someone to care for. But I find now that it isn't so.

I do not know the ways of love so forgive me for being so plain. My devotion for you is so great that if we were to meet again I would fall uncontrollably in love.

Much as it pains me to say it, I will not see you again. I cannot risk this hurt to you for I would not keep you bound to a promise that you would feel forced to make. The world holds many hidden surprises and your feelings may change in the future.

It is hard for me to be so mature when I feel like just a child. My heart breaks to let you go but let you go I must. I would wish you to live your life as you should and I will hope in time my heart will heal.

Yours forever,

Robin

An hour later Pip started to worry. Frodo had not left his study and others were retiring to bed. He crept quietly down the hall to the study door and listened for any sound. At first he couldn't hear anything and he was going to knock when he heard a quiet sobbing coming from the room. He turned to leave then hesitated. He didn't want to intrude on Frodo but he also didn't want him to be left alone 'and plus he may need someone to talk to' Pippin thought.

He knocked softly on the door then pushed it open. Frodo was sat at his desk, his head down sobbing quietly into his arms.

"Are… you… ok?" Pip asked warily

Frodo lifted his head, his voice barely a whisper. "Its gone… all gone"

"What are you going to do?" asked Pip, picking the letter up of the desk. "I know it's not my place to say but you should probably respect her wishes"

Frodo turned suddenly, an angry flame burning in his eyes. "No Peregrin it is not your place to say" His voice was low and menacing. "I will not give her up. Is it too much to ask, can she not return my love" Pippin eyed Frodo with caution "Forgive me friend, though I would say rather will not than can not" The light died in Frodo's eyes "I shall reply to her letter" he said resignedly "I have to try." He sighed, then stood taking Pippins hand "You understand I have to try?" Pip nodded in response. "I will carry your reply if you wish"