Pushing Things Aside
By Tahiri Solo
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Disclaimer: All the characters, places, and such mentioned in this fic are the property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and am in no way getting paid for this story. This story is a re-write of a scene from the book Star by Star, but I am not copying or infringing. Also, if this bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
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A/N: Okay, did anyone else get as upset as I was over that scene? You know, the one on pages 247-249, where Zekk is staring at Jaina and she just brushes him off and precedes to think about how her "infatuation" with him changed to something more like what she felt for her brothers? Ugh. In case you can't tell, I REALLY was not happy when I read that.
Therefore, I rewrote it. Below is the result. *grins*
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"And Zekk's done it again," Jaina said. She turned around and was startled to find herself looking directly into his gentle emerald eyes, eyes that held her gaze in a way that conveyed all of his feelings for her . . . something much deeper than mere friendship or affection. She looked curiously up into them, trying to decipher all the emotions she found there.
The intensity of what she saw almost frightened her, and she had to look away. To break the awkward moment, she handed the detector film back to him. "Here, hold this for a minute so I can get the cutter."
The disappointment was evident in his facial expression, and Jaina couldn't blame him for that. Something had passed between them, something special . . . and she had simply brushed it away, out of fear.
As she had so many months ago when they had left the Jedi academy on Yavin 4.
She had felt so much so strongly for Zekk that it had actually frightened her. Surely, she had thought, he could never feel the same way about her. To him, she was only a little sister, not someone he could ever have romantic feelings for. Faced with this realization, Jaina had locked away everything she had ever felt for Zekk and did her best to ignore it, to pretend it not only had passed, but had never happened.
Then, when Jagged Fel had ignored Borsk Fey'lya's entire cabinet to introduce himself to her, she had quickly found a way to help dissolve her lingering feelings for Zekk. She had allowed - rather, forced - herself into feeling a "spark" for the young colonel. Yes, he was handsome. But Jaina knew that the only reason she found him so attractive was because he had much the same appearance as Zekk - the dark hair, green eyes . . .
Jaina almost laughed to herself. Since she had decided she couldn't have Zekk, she went and found someone who reminded her so much of him.
Yes, Jag was handsome. Yes, she respected him, and yes, he had given her a "spark". But Jaina longingly thought of the days back at the academy, when Zekk had given her far more than a spark - he had set her whole heart on fire.
Sith, she missed that feeling more than anything else.
"Jaina?" Zekk playfully waved the detector film at her. "Are you in there?" he joked. "Are you going to cut it?"
"Of course, but I need measurements first." Jaina turned away, hoping he wouldn't notice her blush. What if he had sensed what she was thinking? "Where did that hydrospanner go?" She was stalling, and she knew it. If she looked Zekk in the eyes again and saw all of those emotions there as she had just minutes before . . . she didn't know what she would do. She certainly knew what she wanted to do, but didn't think she could possibly have the courage. She had had so many opportunities when they were students, but she didn't have the courage then, and she certainly didn't now.
Zekk's voice broke into her train of thought. "Jaina? The hydrospanner is right there." He reached over, his arm brushing her shoulder, to point to the tool, which lay almost directly in front of her face.
The next thing Jaina knew, Zekk had her by the shoulders and was turning her gently around to face him. "Jaina? What's wrong? And don't tell me nothing - I know something's wrong if you can't find your hydrospanner." He smiled at her, but Jaina could still hear the concern in his voice, concern that was reflected in his eyes.
His eyes . . . Once again, Jaina found herself getting lost in them, and the emotions they held. She had to turn away before she got lost in his eyes again . . . she couldn't let that happen anymore . . .
But she couldn't turn away. All she could do was stare up into his bright green eyes as if she was in a trance.
She prayed that Zekk wouldn't notice her transfixion, wouldn't notice how her eyes never moved from his - but of course, he did.
"Jaina?" Zekk placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Once more, Jaina could see his concern for her, and her heart leapt within her chest. She could tell him - she had to tell him. Considering the mission they were on, and the danger they were in, this might very well be her last chance.
Could she ever forgive herself if they lost each other and he didn't even know how she felt?
No, Jaina decided. But did she have the courage to tell him everything that had been eating away at her heart for years now? Could she confess her very soul to him, placing her heart in his hand?
She didn't think so, but she had no choice.
"Zekk," Jaina whispered. "Just hold me. Please, just hold me."
A heartbeat later, Zekk had drawn Jaina into his arms, holding her tightly. "Jaina?" he asked again, his voice no more than a soft murmur. "What is it?"
She buried her face in his chest, breathing in his comforting scent and trying to draw courage from the sensation of his arms around her. *If you ever want to feel this again, tell him!* her mind screamed at her. *You've waited all these years, now here's your chance! TELL HIM!*
Drawing in a shaky breath, Jaina whispered, "Zekk, there's something I need to tell you. I should've told you this years ago, but I was too scared. Just please, don't hate me."
Zekk began stroking her hair. "Jaina, I could never hate you. You know that."
With a heavy sigh, Jaina moved out of his arms, turning slightly so that she didn't have to look directly at his face - and his eyes. "Okay, it's like this, Zekk," she said softly. "For years - maybe as long as I've known you - I've had the strongest, strangest feeling inside of me. I ignored it, out of fear, and did everything I could to shut it up and make it go away. You have to understand, this feeling scared me more than anything else.
"I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I thought I was succeeding - up until just now. I realized that there are some things you just can't ignore, no matter what you do. The only thing you can do is - just give in to them."
Zekk watched her with wide eyes, in shock at hearing what she had to say.
Jaina began trembling, and she looked on the verge of tears. "I - I, oh Zekk, I don't know how to say this."
Taking a deep breath, Zekk moved to stand in front of her. "You don't have to say anything, Jaina," he whispered. "I think I know what it is you're trying to tell me." He tentatively raised his hand to her face and began to stroke her soft skin with his fingertips.
Jaina reached up and brushed her own fingertips against his cheek, her eyes wide and scared, yet hopeful. "You do?"
"I think so," Zekk whispered back, his face now only mere centimeters from hers. Jaina stared into his eyes, for once not afraid of what she saw there. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart pounding in her chest, beating in exact time with his.
"I love you, Jaina Solo," Zekk murmured, kissing her forehead then nuzzling her nose with his.
"I love you, Zekk. So much." Tears were in her eyes now, but they were tears of happiness, and her breath caught in her throat as she realized how close his lips were to hers. Kiss me! her heart screamed, the way it had for so many years whenever he was close to her.
And this time, her heart got its wish.
Finished with tending to the injured Ulaha, Jacen and Tenel Ka made their way over to check on Jaina and Zekk's progress. Expecting to find the two absorbed in their mechanical task, as they so often had been back at the academy, Jacen and Tenel Ka got quite a shock when they found that Jaina and Zekk were far more absorbed in each other than any repairs.
Zekk had his arms around Jaina's waist, holding her tightly to him, as her arms twined around his neck. Even more shocking than their tender position was the fact that their mouths were connected softly as they simply stood there, aware of nothing else but the other.
Jacen stood there for a moment, watching his friend kiss his sister, then slowly smiled and put an arm around Tenel Ka. "Certainly took them long enough."
Tenel Ka leaned her head against his shoulder, a rare, yet bittersweet, smile playing across her lips. "This is a fact."
By Tahiri Solo
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Disclaimer: All the characters, places, and such mentioned in this fic are the property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and am in no way getting paid for this story. This story is a re-write of a scene from the book Star by Star, but I am not copying or infringing. Also, if this bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
A/N: Okay, did anyone else get as upset as I was over that scene? You know, the one on pages 247-249, where Zekk is staring at Jaina and she just brushes him off and precedes to think about how her "infatuation" with him changed to something more like what she felt for her brothers? Ugh. In case you can't tell, I REALLY was not happy when I read that.
Therefore, I rewrote it. Below is the result. *grins*
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
"And Zekk's done it again," Jaina said. She turned around and was startled to find herself looking directly into his gentle emerald eyes, eyes that held her gaze in a way that conveyed all of his feelings for her . . . something much deeper than mere friendship or affection. She looked curiously up into them, trying to decipher all the emotions she found there.
The intensity of what she saw almost frightened her, and she had to look away. To break the awkward moment, she handed the detector film back to him. "Here, hold this for a minute so I can get the cutter."
The disappointment was evident in his facial expression, and Jaina couldn't blame him for that. Something had passed between them, something special . . . and she had simply brushed it away, out of fear.
As she had so many months ago when they had left the Jedi academy on Yavin 4.
She had felt so much so strongly for Zekk that it had actually frightened her. Surely, she had thought, he could never feel the same way about her. To him, she was only a little sister, not someone he could ever have romantic feelings for. Faced with this realization, Jaina had locked away everything she had ever felt for Zekk and did her best to ignore it, to pretend it not only had passed, but had never happened.
Then, when Jagged Fel had ignored Borsk Fey'lya's entire cabinet to introduce himself to her, she had quickly found a way to help dissolve her lingering feelings for Zekk. She had allowed - rather, forced - herself into feeling a "spark" for the young colonel. Yes, he was handsome. But Jaina knew that the only reason she found him so attractive was because he had much the same appearance as Zekk - the dark hair, green eyes . . .
Jaina almost laughed to herself. Since she had decided she couldn't have Zekk, she went and found someone who reminded her so much of him.
Yes, Jag was handsome. Yes, she respected him, and yes, he had given her a "spark". But Jaina longingly thought of the days back at the academy, when Zekk had given her far more than a spark - he had set her whole heart on fire.
Sith, she missed that feeling more than anything else.
"Jaina?" Zekk playfully waved the detector film at her. "Are you in there?" he joked. "Are you going to cut it?"
"Of course, but I need measurements first." Jaina turned away, hoping he wouldn't notice her blush. What if he had sensed what she was thinking? "Where did that hydrospanner go?" She was stalling, and she knew it. If she looked Zekk in the eyes again and saw all of those emotions there as she had just minutes before . . . she didn't know what she would do. She certainly knew what she wanted to do, but didn't think she could possibly have the courage. She had had so many opportunities when they were students, but she didn't have the courage then, and she certainly didn't now.
Zekk's voice broke into her train of thought. "Jaina? The hydrospanner is right there." He reached over, his arm brushing her shoulder, to point to the tool, which lay almost directly in front of her face.
The next thing Jaina knew, Zekk had her by the shoulders and was turning her gently around to face him. "Jaina? What's wrong? And don't tell me nothing - I know something's wrong if you can't find your hydrospanner." He smiled at her, but Jaina could still hear the concern in his voice, concern that was reflected in his eyes.
His eyes . . . Once again, Jaina found herself getting lost in them, and the emotions they held. She had to turn away before she got lost in his eyes again . . . she couldn't let that happen anymore . . .
But she couldn't turn away. All she could do was stare up into his bright green eyes as if she was in a trance.
She prayed that Zekk wouldn't notice her transfixion, wouldn't notice how her eyes never moved from his - but of course, he did.
"Jaina?" Zekk placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Once more, Jaina could see his concern for her, and her heart leapt within her chest. She could tell him - she had to tell him. Considering the mission they were on, and the danger they were in, this might very well be her last chance.
Could she ever forgive herself if they lost each other and he didn't even know how she felt?
No, Jaina decided. But did she have the courage to tell him everything that had been eating away at her heart for years now? Could she confess her very soul to him, placing her heart in his hand?
She didn't think so, but she had no choice.
"Zekk," Jaina whispered. "Just hold me. Please, just hold me."
A heartbeat later, Zekk had drawn Jaina into his arms, holding her tightly. "Jaina?" he asked again, his voice no more than a soft murmur. "What is it?"
She buried her face in his chest, breathing in his comforting scent and trying to draw courage from the sensation of his arms around her. *If you ever want to feel this again, tell him!* her mind screamed at her. *You've waited all these years, now here's your chance! TELL HIM!*
Drawing in a shaky breath, Jaina whispered, "Zekk, there's something I need to tell you. I should've told you this years ago, but I was too scared. Just please, don't hate me."
Zekk began stroking her hair. "Jaina, I could never hate you. You know that."
With a heavy sigh, Jaina moved out of his arms, turning slightly so that she didn't have to look directly at his face - and his eyes. "Okay, it's like this, Zekk," she said softly. "For years - maybe as long as I've known you - I've had the strongest, strangest feeling inside of me. I ignored it, out of fear, and did everything I could to shut it up and make it go away. You have to understand, this feeling scared me more than anything else.
"I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I thought I was succeeding - up until just now. I realized that there are some things you just can't ignore, no matter what you do. The only thing you can do is - just give in to them."
Zekk watched her with wide eyes, in shock at hearing what she had to say.
Jaina began trembling, and she looked on the verge of tears. "I - I, oh Zekk, I don't know how to say this."
Taking a deep breath, Zekk moved to stand in front of her. "You don't have to say anything, Jaina," he whispered. "I think I know what it is you're trying to tell me." He tentatively raised his hand to her face and began to stroke her soft skin with his fingertips.
Jaina reached up and brushed her own fingertips against his cheek, her eyes wide and scared, yet hopeful. "You do?"
"I think so," Zekk whispered back, his face now only mere centimeters from hers. Jaina stared into his eyes, for once not afraid of what she saw there. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart pounding in her chest, beating in exact time with his.
"I love you, Jaina Solo," Zekk murmured, kissing her forehead then nuzzling her nose with his.
"I love you, Zekk. So much." Tears were in her eyes now, but they were tears of happiness, and her breath caught in her throat as she realized how close his lips were to hers. Kiss me! her heart screamed, the way it had for so many years whenever he was close to her.
And this time, her heart got its wish.
Finished with tending to the injured Ulaha, Jacen and Tenel Ka made their way over to check on Jaina and Zekk's progress. Expecting to find the two absorbed in their mechanical task, as they so often had been back at the academy, Jacen and Tenel Ka got quite a shock when they found that Jaina and Zekk were far more absorbed in each other than any repairs.
Zekk had his arms around Jaina's waist, holding her tightly to him, as her arms twined around his neck. Even more shocking than their tender position was the fact that their mouths were connected softly as they simply stood there, aware of nothing else but the other.
Jacen stood there for a moment, watching his friend kiss his sister, then slowly smiled and put an arm around Tenel Ka. "Certainly took them long enough."
Tenel Ka leaned her head against his shoulder, a rare, yet bittersweet, smile playing across her lips. "This is a fact."
