Demon In The Slow Lane

Demon In The Slow Lane

Camera pans over the surface of a sleek red 1950s car, swings all the way around until it shows the front and the lights turn on. (oooh spooky)

Theme Song

Tommy's driver's license flashes on the screen, Tommy has a dazed look on his face and a zit in the middle of his foreword.

INT: The School Lunchroom

Merton and Lori are sitting at the lunch table when Tommy sits down proudly displaying the license

Lori: So, driving man, you got a car?

Tommy: I'm working on it.

Merton: Ahhh driving, a delicate right of passage equal only to the first kiss and the first midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Lori: It's pretty exciting.

Tommy: I thought it would be but it's not as great as you'd think.

Merton: It won't hit you till you're behind the wheel.

Tommy: That might not happen for awhile, I only have about seven hundred in the bank.

Merton: I'll take you to the place I got the Mertonmobile, you're sure to find something there.

At this point Lori is wondering why the conversation has left her, the reason being is that I don't like her and will try not to have in this story that much.

Tommy: Great, I'll meet you after school.

Lori: See you guys.

All three leave the lunchroom to their respective classes.

EXT: Old Parking Garage, Night

Tommy and Merton are walking up to an old parking garage with an old shack in front of it. There is a sign in the window that says "USED CARS, CHEEP"

Tommy: This is where you got your car?

Merton: Don't let the exterior fool you, this guy sells quality cars at affordable prices just like he…

A shotgun is placed on his forehead in mid-sentence, the owner, a gruffy man in his late fifties apparently doesn't like trespassers, he squints at Merton.

Gruffy Man: Wait a minute, I know you, no refunds.

Merton slowly pushes the gun down.

Merton: Uh Mr. Luttman, we're here to buy.

Mr. Luttman: Oh, well come on in then.

They all walk in to the garage.

INT: Parking Garage.

Tommy is looking through the rows of cars disappointed while Merton is examining a small rusted up Chevet

Merton: How about this one Tommy?

Tommy: Keep looking

Just then Tommy notices something.

Tommy: What about this one?

Merton: What, this piece of junk?

Tommy: It's not a piece of junk, it's beautiful.

Merton: Funny, in the year I've known you, you've never called anything beautiful.

Tommy didn't hear this because he was caught in a daze by the car of his dreams

Mr. Luttman: Uh actually you can't…

Tommy: How much?

Mr. Luttman: I'm telling you, you don't want this car.

Tommy: I said how much.

Tommy's eyes glow as he confronts the old man.

Mr. Luttman: Whatever you have is fine

Tommy hands him the seven hundred dollars and Mr. Luttman hands him the key.

INT: The Car While Driving

Merton: That was very unprofessional Tommy.

Tommy: This thing is great.

Merton: Well it does have a certain rustic quality, did I say rustic I meant rust bucket.

The car seat jumps up causing Merton to hit his head on the roof.

Merton: Did you see that?

Tommy: See what?

Merton: Just go.

The car drives off into a foggy night.

The Next Day

INT: The Lunchroom

Tommy is happily sleeping at the lunch table when Merton joins him

Merton: Hey Tommy, Tommy? Wake up.

Tommy wakes up (natch)

Tommy: Huh? Oh hi Merton.

Merton: Where were you last night, I tried to call you after you dropped me off but you weren't home.

Tommy: I was out, driving.

Merton: I don't know about this one Tommy, this goes way beyond "the first car experience", there is something seriously wrong here.

Tommy: I don't know what you're talking about.

Merton: I've known you for what, a year now? Have I ever been wrong about this kinda thing?

Tommy: What about that ancient demon that tried to sacrifice Lori.

Merton: OK but for the most part. Hey where is Lori anyway?

Tommy: I think she has to take care of a sick grandmother or something but anyway, there is nothing wrong with me or my car, speaking of which I need to go check for scratches.

Tommy runs off to check his car leaving Merton to eat his lunch alone.

EXT: The Park, Night

Two lovebirds are kissing on a park bench when the car pulls up in front of them, the headlights turn on and the camera turns away as the couple both scream.

INT: Tommy's Living Room

Merton (in a snazzy leather jacket) is trying to talk to Dean.

Deans: Hey Tommy's friend, what bring you here?

Merton: Not much but have you noticed Tommy acting strange at all?

Dean: No but he hasn't been around that much for me to notice anything.

Merton: Oh, sorry to bother you.

Dean: Let me tell you a little story.

Merton: Please don't.

Dean: Once upon a time there was a man named Ritchie Cunningham and he wanted to put on a party at Arnold's…

Merton: Does this have anything to do with my situation?

Dean: What is it again?

Merton: Tommy's acting strange and I don't know what's wrong.

Dean: Oh no, never mind then.

Merton leaves Dean to the Charlie's Angels marathon.

EXT: Pleasantville Street, Day

Tommy's car is driving speedily down the road than turns a corner, no one is driving.

EXT: Old Parking Garage, Day

Merton walks up to the old shack and knocks on the door, waits three minutes and opens it. The room is a mess; there are papers all over and a pile of keys on the table. Merton notices a picture on the wall, it has the car and two men standing in front of it grinning, one of the men Merton recognizes as a very young Mr. Luttman.

Mr. Luttman: He was my brother.

Merton: Ahh! Oh it's you.

Mr. Luttman pulls the picture off the wall and looks at it regretfully.

Luttman: This was taken before it happened.

Merton: What?

Luttman: My brother and his girlfriend were going to the prom in that car when they hit a tree, he survived but she didn't.

Merton: Oh, sorry I…

Mr. Luttman: After that he started acting strange, spending all his time in the garage. I heard him talking to it many times and it was all he'd talk about when he was away from it.

Merton: Really?

Mr. Luttman: A couple months later I found him in the front seat with his wrists slit. I'm sure you understand why I didn't want to sell it, but your friend was so persistent.

Merton: Yeah we think he has some sort of new strain of pink eye or something.

Mr. Luttman: It's all right, funny thing is, I had locked up that car in the back, I don't know how it got out.

Merton: Hmm, well thanks, you've actually been a big help.

Mr. Luttman puts the picture back on the wall.

Merton: Are you sure you're all right?

Mr. Luttman: I'm fine.

Merton: Well I gotta go.

Merton walks out of the small shack.

Merton's inner monologue

Yes, I have one too. Tommy's not the only one with thoughts worth putting into a monologue, in fact I don't think he's thinking about much of anything now except how shiny his new car is, and thanks to my talk with Mr. Luttman I think I know why that is.

EXT shot of Merton walking into the Dawkins' Family garage.

INT: Tommy's Garage, Day

Merton walks in to see Tommy under the hood fixing something.

Merton: Hey Tommy.

Tommy responds with out looking up.

Tommy: Hi Merton.

Merton: What are you doing?

Tommy: Just Working.

Merton: Haven't seen you much around the Factory.

Tommy: I haven't had much time to go out.

Merton: Come to think of it, I haven't seen you at school much either.

Tommy: I haven't been going. What is this about Merton?

Merton: Oh nothing, just that your under the hypnotic trance of a car possessed by a 1950s prom queen!

Tommy finally looks to the left away from the car to see his friend Merton who as far as he could tell was completely serious.

Tommy: What?

Merton: I went back to Mr. Luttman's, I knew something was wrong and he proved it. It seems his brother's girlfriend died in that car but she never left, now she's got you shining her hood every five minutes, that's not how I wanted that to come out but either way you have to get rid of it.

Tommy: I'm afraid I can't do that Merton.

Merton: Jeez a little over-dramatic on the refusal.

Tommy: I think you should leave.

Merton: No, I won't let you become this devil car's manbitch

The hood closes by it self and the engine revs up.

Tommy: You think I didn't know she was alive, all I had to do was read the paper.

Merton: What?

Tommy hands him newspapers from the shelf, on the cover are two people, a man and a woman. The headline reads "Pleasantville couple murdered, blood drained".

Tommy: The tire tracks of a 58 convertible were by the bodies.

Merton: You don't seem that freaked out about it.

Tommy: I got over it. Besides, why cause her any undo stress?

Merton: It Tommy, not she, it.

Tommy turns to the car

Tommy: It's all right baby, he didn't mean it.

And back to Merton

Tommy: Please leave now

Merton: No

EXT: Tommy's Lawn, Day

Merton is thrown out the window, in the broken window Dean can be seen in his chair asleep while a very special 7th Heaven is on the TV. Merton gets up, brushes himself off and leaves.

Merton's inner monologue

I am so sick of this, every week some demon or curse comes along and tries are friendship, if we were Amish this would never happen, maybe a little, three four times a year tops. Still I've gotta help Tommy.

INT: The Factory

Merton is sitting at one of the tables, and as much as I tried to avoid it, talking to Lori.

Merton: I need your help with something.

Lori: What do you need?

Merton: Tommy's car is alive, we need to destroy it.

Lori: Is this real or some sugar induced hallucination?

Merton: Seriously.

Lori: Well what do you need me for?

Merton: You need to get Tommy away from the car long enough for me to get the engine.

Lori: I'll try my best.

Merton: So you believe me just like that?

Lori: Sure, you're always right about this sort of thing, except for that time I almost got sacrificed.

Merton: People always remember the bad things.

Merton and Lori leave their table.

EXT: Outside The Dawkins Family Home, Night

Merton and Lori walk up to the garage.

Merton: OK, you knock on the garage door and call Tommy out here and I'll hide in the bushes and slip in unnoticed.

Lori: Got it.

Merton goes into the bushes next to the garage and Lori knocks on the door. The garage door slowly opens and Tommy is sitting in the front seat messing with the radio.

Lori: Hey Tommy.

No response.

Lori: TOMMY!

The radio clicks off and Tommy gets out of the car.

Lori: Can you come out here for a second?

Tommy: Just come in here.

Lori: I don't have much time, can you just come out here, we need to talk.

Tommy looks back at the car and then returns his stare to Lori.

Tommy: Fine.

Tommy walks slowly to Lori in the driveway.

Tommy: What is it?

Lori: Well I, um just wanted to ask you if you…

Merton slips into the garage.

Lori: …wanted to go to the factory later?

Tommy: No.

Tommy starts to turn around until Lori grabs his arm.

Lori: Are you sure? We could sit and talk, maybe about cars.

Tommy: I'm only interested in one.

Merton pops the hood and takes out a wrench but before he can do anything the engine revs up and he drops it. The clang of the wrench catches Tommy's ears and he turns around angrily, eyes glowing. He then runs back in to the garage, wolfing out in the process, and in one smooth motion, grabs Merton and pulls him up against the wall.

Tommy: What are you doing to her?

Merton: Um, just a tune-up?

Tommy: I should have gotten rid of you this morning. Well, better late than never.

Tommy is about to bite Merton in the neck until Lori hits the hood of the trunk with the wrench. Tommy turns his head around to see her holding the metal object to the window.

Lori: Let him go or "she" gets it.

Tommy drops Merton and turns totally around.

Tommy: You don't want to do that.

Lori: Actually, yeah I do.

Lori breaks the glass as Tommy rages toward her, but before he gets to her Merton jabs him in the back with the base of a silver candlestick compliments of Mrs. Dawkins dinner set. Tommy turns around once again, only to be whacked across the face with the candlestick and, because of his werewolf weakness, is knocked out.

Merton: You know, I don't get that many chance to do that.

Lori: Thanks.

Merton: You too, the window thing was a big help.

The car revs up.

Lori: Now I think we pissed it off.

Merton: Yeah lets go.

Merton and Lori pick up the now human Tommy and walk him outside. When they get to the end of the driveway the car starts by it self and charges at them, they jump out of the way just in time and the car crashes into a tree.

Merton: Whoa.

Lori: Let's go to the Lair, we need to snap Tommy out of it.

They pick Tommy back up and drag him to the Hearse that's parked by the side of the road.

INT: The Lair.

Tommy is tied to a chair with tape keeping his eyes open watching a movie reel of car crashes while Merton and Lori watch him.

Merton: This is too depressing.

Lori: It's all we can do.

Merton: No, we can destroy her.

Lori: It crashed, I don't think we'll be seeing much of it anymore.

Merton: If I know my movies correctly, she'll come back.

EXT: Tommy's Home, By The Tree.

The car pulls back and the crunched in hood reforms to perfect condition and drives off.

INT: The Lair.

Lori: Then how do we kill it.

Merton: Well, in the movie, a car smasher crushed it and turned it into a cube, you wouldn't happen to have a spare car smasher do you?

Lori: I left it at home.

Merton: Whatever we do, we have to find out where it is.

Lori: Where would a living car go.

Merton: No, the question is, where would the ghost in the car go.

INT: Pleasantville High School.

Merton and Lori and are walking down the main hall talking.

Merton: The ghost in Tommy's car died in a car crash on her way to the Pleasantville High Prom, if the ghost is anywhere, it's here.

Merton opens the door to the gym and turns into a supply room. He goes in and picks up two steel baseball bats and hands one to Lori.

Merton: You'll probably need this.

Suddenly the double doors on the far side of the gym opens and the car pulls in with it's lights on.

Merton: This might be bad.

Lori: Yeah.

INT: The Lair

Tommy is struggling with the ropes until the chair falls over, he continues to struggle then gives up and rests on the floor,

Cut to INT: The Hall.

Merton and Lori are running down the hall.

Lori: Maybe you should have thought this through

Merton: OK, if we can…no that wouldn't work…maybe…no.

Lori: You better think of something.

Merton: Wait, the basement.

The car turns the corner just as they run off screen.

INT: The Basement.

Merton and Lori are standing by the lockers waiting.

Lori: So what do we do now?

Merton: Just wait.

The car slowly rolls down the stairs with its lights on. When it gets to the bottom it starts charging at the two teens standing there. Lori pushes Merton out of the way and when the car passes, he turns around and opens a locker. The car suddenly stops and starts to vibrate, then a horrible looking transparent creature escapes out of the car only to be sucked into the locker which closes afterwards to reveal its number, 666. When the ghost leaves the car turns from sleek red to a car almost entirely made of rust. Merton kicks it and it crumbles to the ground.

Lori: What the…

Merton: Long story short, demon vortex, possessed my sister, it's all right now.

Lori: We better check on Tommy.

INT: The Lair.

Tommy is still on the floor when Merton and Lori walk in.

Merton: Tommy, are you all right?

Tommy: I'm fine, but could someone help me up?

Lori: Are you sane now

Tommy: Yes, by the way, I'm sorry guys…

Merton: Don't worry about it, were're even for all the times that you helped us when we did something stupid.

Lori: Don't you mean, "when you did something stupid"?

Merton's inner monologue

Well everything worked out well, Lori and I didn't get run over and Tommy didn't go completely crazy. By the way, Tommy, after a long period of grieving, got a new car.

Shot of Tommy driving the small, rusty, gray Chevet.

MIM

I think its gonna work out fine.