Title: Summer Rain 3/?

Author: Emily

Category: Still Spike/Dawn

Disclaimer: Joss and all his minions. And evil Marti – why I have Marti issues I don't know but I do. Photographs of high school sweethearts on our walls, my ass…

Rating: PG 13

Feedback: Do ya want me to beg? Cause I could do that….

Spoilers: Just 'The Gift' and maybe 'Bargaining'.

Part Three

God, what did I do? What was I thinking? No, wait this isn't my fault. *I* didn't kiss him, well I did, but not originally. It was all his fault. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and boy did I look a mess. I had some mascara on my cheeks from all the crying – you'd think that after all the crying I've been doing I'd know to just *not* wear mascara – and my hair was all bad and tangled. Ugh. Suddenly the door opened and for a minute I thought it was Spike. I guess he could have come in, he is still invited. Mostly for *babysitting* me - the fifteen year old who could totally be a babysitter- while Willow and the gang have secret Scooby meetings or something.

"Dawnie?" Tara called. Oh crap, Willow and Tara. I grabbed a brush from my desk and hurriedly dragged it through my hair, wiped at my eyes with a tissue and yelled that I was coming.

"Where'd you go?" Willow asked when I got downstairs. They both looked worried and I felt kind of guilty for just running out on everyone before.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked, frowning as she looked at me. Did I still have mascara stains?

I nodded vigorously. " I'm fine, sorry for running off, I needed some um air," I babbled.

I'm pretty sure they didn't buy it but they didn't pursue the subject. For no reason I could understand I felt tears well behind my eyes but I didn't cry. It's almost okay for me to cry in front of Spike because he can deal with it. He's strong, like Buffy was. But Willow's not. If I cried then she would cry, maybe Tara would cry too and I don't think we'd ever be able to stop crying.

I used to hear Willow crying at night, for weeks after it happened. Tara would comfort her and hold her and rock her like a child. That made me cry a little too. Partly because it reminded me of Mom and partly because there was no one to hold me. Not anymore. At least they had each other.

I peered out of the window and wasn't surprised that he was gone, only kind of disappointed. And oh God this is so strange.

Spike kissed me. Because he was drunk or acting crazy or I reminded him of her or whatever but the point is he kissed me. Now I have no idea what to do, how to act.

God, my first kiss from a vampire. See, *this* is what happens when you move to the Hellmouth.

***

" And 'Passions' will be back in two weeks after the snooker season…" A tacky blond announced.

I glared at the screen, "Bloody snooker" I roughly pressed the TV off. Now there was no 'Passions' to distract me from what the hell I'd been doing. Namely kissing the little bit.

I wasn't even drunk. I don't know what came over me.

God she's fourteen. Fourteen and the Slayer's sister. If Buffy was here I'd be dust…oh Jesus no wonder she ran off like that… *Buffy*

I frowned as the thought came over me that the whole time Buffy had never even crossed my mind. Just Dawn.

******