Destiny's A Bitch part 1

INT: Monastery, Study

The camera tracks along several monks in robes, apparently praying from books. The camera stops at a particular monk, his/her face covered by a hood. He/she drops the hood to reveal that it is indeed Lori, praying like the others. Her all white eyes start to flicker to signify an oncoming vision.

Lori's Vision

Seen from the eyes of a demon, Tommy is fighting off a pair of claws, which eventually get the better of him, stabbing him to death.

Back to Reality

Lori gets up, shocked, and runs off screen.

(Credits)

INT: Caves

The area is enveloped in mist and only shadows can be seen in the din. The silhouette of a horned beast walks into view. It walks into the camera and we see that it is Merton, wearing a ridiculous demon get up.

Merton (Whispering): Tommy? Where are you?

Tommy slams into him from behind, causing Merton to jump.

Tommy (Loudly): Right here, man.

Merton: Shhh!

Tommy: What?

Merton (Whispering): We have to be as quiet as possible. We don't want to announce our presence.

Tommy (Loudly): I thought that was the plan. You make like a mate, it comes out, and I pounce on it wolf man style.

Merton takes off the horn hat.

Merton (Whispering): The plan has changed. I neglected to realize what could possible happen if you mess up.

Tommy: What do you…ewwwww, I know what you mean.

Merton: I say we find it and catch it by surprise before it finds us, so be quiet.

Merton and Tommy walk away. A few paces behind them, a creature with giant horns follows them.

INT: Another Part of the Caves

Tommy and Merton walk into a wide-open space within the caves.

Tommy: The guy has horns where his ears should be, I doubt he'll hear anything. Unless he has ears somewhere else, does he?

Merton (Cringing): Yeah.

Tommy: Where?

Merton: Well…

Tommy: Never mind, I got the look on your face, I'm not that curious.

Merton: You sure?

Tommy: Yeah, I'm fine.

Merton starts to look around the cave just as the creature runs in to room.

Merton: It looks like he's nested. It's only a matter of time before he finds out we got the female, he should be coming back (seeing the creature) right now.

Tommy: What, like right now?

Tommy turns and sees the creature.

Tommy: So, right now then.

Merton: Get it!

The creature jumps at Tommy and lands in front of him. Tommy wolfs out and gets ready to rumble.

Tommy: Okay ugly, give me your best shot.

The creature screams and a force of pressure shoots Tommy across the room.

Tommy (Over by the wall): Well, if that's the best shot…

The creature walks up to Tommy and unsheathes a pair of claws as long as a sword.

Tommy: …Then I'm still dead.

Tommy moves his head from left to right to dodge the swipes of the claws.

Tommy: Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot, what with us killing your mate and all, but I think if we (swipe) just settle this like gentlemen (swipe) then I think we can come up with a solution that can satisfy everyone (swipe).

The creature swipes again and Tommy grabs his arms, then he proceeds to kick him away. The creature falls on top of sword and it drops to reveal Allison standing behind it.

Allison: Satisfied?

Tommy: Very much so.

Allison helps Tommy up and they start to walk out of the cave, leaving the body of the creature.

Allison: You know, you're getting kinda rusty.

Tommy: I can still hold my own.

Allison: Didn't look like it.

Tommy: I had a cramp, plus my shoulder's been out of whack since the Hermery game.

Allison: Sure.

Tommy: It is!


When they get out of the area, leaving the body alone, the creature's corpse starts to gyrate and convulse. Suddenly a surge of locusts like insects start to pour out of the stomach of the creature. Before the scene cuts, the audience should get the impression that something is forming within the swarm.

EXT: The Caves, Night

The gang walks out of the overhanging cave formation into a clearing in the woods where Merton has parked the hearse. When they come out, they see that someone is searching through the car.

Merton: Hey, that's my car!

Tommy: Who is that?

Allison: I'll get him.

Allison runs up to the car and ferociously pushes the person up against the car. She looks at him and his eyes glow (ala werewolves).

Werewolf: You.

Allison: Me?

Werewolf: You are not right

Allison: What are you babbling about?

She starts to choke him but Merton and Tommy run up and she stops.

Tommy: What going on? Who are you?

Werewolf: I am not your enemy.

Merton: Oh, and all my friends try to steal my car.

Werewolf: I wasn't trying to…no, I must go.

The werewolf gets out of Allison's grip and runs off.

Tommy: That was weird.

Merton: If anything's missing I'm gonna, well do nothing I suppose.

Allison: I should go after him.

Merton: No, I think he's long gone.

Allison: I can catch him.

Merton: No, that's all right. It doesn't look like anything's missing.

They all start to file into the car.

Allison: Why would someone rob this car anyway.

Tommy: Maybe he was a vampire who needed a new coffin.

Tommy and Merton look at each other, seriously debating the idea presented.

Merton: Naw.

Tommy: No way.

The car drives away.

EXT: Woods, Night

The werewolf is on his hands and knees, writing something in the dirt. He is rushing to get out whatever it is for he senses something after him. In the bushes, that something presents itself as a feral shadow, pouncing out and onto the wolf before we get a clear shot of exactly what it is. As the dark thing rips the werewolf to shreds, his hand drops down onto his writing, which says in crudely scribbles: "The bringer will kill the savior and thus mark the death of us all."

INT: Monastery, Main Room

The main room of the monastery is just like the others, the only difference being Tamin sitting in the middle, meditating (Tamin was the guy from Vision Girl with the baldhead who was looking for Lori). Lori runs in from another room and rushes up to Tamin.

Lori: Tamin, I need to talk to you?

Tamin: I believe you must save your friends first?

Lori: How did you know that? Oh right, the psychic thing.

Tamin: Remember, you are here of your own will and can leave at anytime.

Lori: Thanks.

Tamin: Than go.

Lori: I…can't.

Tamin: I told you, you are free to go.

Lori: no, it's just…you have the keys to the van.

Tamin: Oh yeah.

He pulls out a key-chain with various stupid little turtles and I heart New York tabs on it and hands it to Lori.

Lori: I'll be back.

Tamin: Go with good.

Lori runs off screen to the door.

EXT: Hedge Maze, A Square Room of the Maze

Tommy and Lori are sitting at a table with a chessboard, in the middle of a game. They are in a very complicated looking hedge maze with very little room to move. Merton is sitting on the ground playing checkers with a baby.

Lori: It's your move, Tommy.

Tommy: I'm not sure where to go.

Lori: Well I think it's kind of obvious.

Tommy: I'm not very good at these sorts of things.

Lori: More the wolf out and beat down type.

Tommy: Exactly.

Lori: Just think about it.

Merton: Dammit!

At Merton's game, all his pieces have been lost to the baby and he is not happy about it.

Merton: You win again, you brilliant bastard!

When we cut back to Tommy's game, a midget in a half shirt is standing on the empty chessboard.

Midget: You can't keep living your life like this.

Tommy: I'm fine.

Midget: You're miserable, and you sicken me.

We cut away and the midget has mysteriously vanished and the chess pieces have returned.

Lori: So what do you say?

Merton (to the baby): Play again? We've gotta keep the game going.


The man in the banana suit dances across the screen, past the chess table, with a beer helmet (figure out the logistics of that one for yourselves).

Lori: You give up?

Tommy: I don't know. All I do know is, this is getting creepy. I think I'm going to wake up now.

Merton (to baby): Damn you! You are a mastermind.

INT: Tommy's Bedroom, the Morning

Tommy's eyes open from his dream and he sits up.

Tommy: This is getting out of hand, I need some help.

INT: Lair

Merton has a very intricate laboratory set up around his Lair (think, Stone Free) with various potions brewing and books opened on his desk. He takes a beaker of some green liquid and pours it onto a plate with leaves on it. The plants on the plate start to grow spikes and hideous vines.

Merton: Interesting; unspeakably horrible and evil, but interesting.

Becky comes down the stairs and knocks down an entire wall of glass chemical handling equipment.

Becky: Oops.

Merton: Hello sister dear.

Becky: Sorry I ruined your blasphemous experiments against nature.

Merton: It's all right, I got my notes.

Becky: So what's up?

Merton: You mean with the gang?

Becky: If there's anything I can help with.

Merton tosses her a round object, which she catches. She holds it up to reveal it is a potato.

Becky: A potato?

Merton: No, we think it's actually a demon seed cleverly disguised as a potato to ward off predators.

Becky: You're screwing with me, aren't you?

Merton: You make it less fun now.

Becky: I'm serious Merton, I want to do something to help.

Merton: Okay.

Becky: Okay, I can help?

Merton: Yes, you can.

Becky: what can I do?

Merton: Could you hand me that book over there.

She rushes up and gets the book he points to, the old book Merton was reading in the last episode, and quickly gives it to Merton.

Becky: Okay, what's next?

Merton: That's it.

Becky: You are a jerk.

Merton: Yeah I know, it's a shame really.

Merton opens up the book to a page in the middle.

Becky: Eww, what's that?

She looks down at the book to see a picture of a massacre, pitting werewolf against werewolf.

Merton: That is the great Lycanthropic War of 1764.

Becky: They look like they've seen better days.

One of the vines from the plate of evil plants starts to crawl near Becky's hand, which rests on the table.

Merton: It's supposedly the first instance of werewolves fighting against evil for a noble cause. It's at least the first one documented.

Becky: Which one's are good and which one's are bad.

Merton: I'm not sure.

The vine snaps at Becky's hand a drop of her blood is absorbed into the plant.

Becky: Ahh!

Merton: Watch out, that's very delicate.

Becky: So's my hand, Merton! What is that thing?

Merton puts a transparent glass covering over the plants.

Merton: It's just an experiment. I'm using DNA from those plant clones and comparing it to that of earth bound plants.

Becky: But how did you get the DNA?

Merton: Well, I…

Becky: You went back and scrapped up dead Merton clone goo?

Merton: Only a little bit of it, it decomposes after a while unless stored properly.

Becky: That's disgusting on so many levels.

The plants enclosed in the glass shape and form into Becky's face.

Becky: Correction, that is dis…

Merton: Hand me that notepad over there.

Becky: You didn't let me finish.

Merton: Now!

Becky hands him the notepad and he starts to write out some calculations.

Merton: This is fascinating.

Becky: So it turned into me, big deal.

Merton: No, this means that every cell in this plant's body is sentient and has a survival instinct.

Becky: Kinda like the Thing, you know, that Kurt Russell movie.

Merton: That's exactly right, I can't believe I missed that one.

Becky: Missed what?

Merton: The reference. I do this thing with horror movie references…you've seen the Thing?

Becky: Of course.

Merton: Bizarre.

Becky: You're friends with a werewolf and you just a plant turn into me, and I'm bizarre?

Merton picks up the glass case and moves to the background table.

Becky: So, werewolves.

Merton: Good ones.

Becky: Is this for Tommy's benefit?

Merton: Well, anything that tells me why he's different from other werewolves may lead me to curing him.

Becky: I thought he liked being a werewolf.

Merton: He doesn't. He helps people because it's right, he'd do that as a human.

Becky: But it does give him an advantage.

The door to the Lair opens and someone enters.

Merton: But at what cost. Werewolves are sub-human, horrible charades of the human experience. Tommy has to fight the ugliness in him every day.

Allison joins them at the table, looking insulted but hiding it well.

Merton: Oh, hi Allison.

Allison: Hi Merton, Hi Becky.

Becky: Hi Allison. Merton, I gotta go.

Becky quickly shuffles off.

Allison: Hmm, she's kinda kooky, isn't she? Running off like that?

Merton: She's Becky.

Allison: What cha working on?
Merton: Actually, something you can help me with.

Allison kind of gets excited.

Allison: What do you need?
Merton: I've found something that concerns Tommy.

Allison deflates.

Merton: It's a prophecy about a savior being killed by someone called the bringer.

Allison: What does any of that have to do with Tommy?

Merton: Well, I think Tommy might be the savior.

Allison: Than who or what is the bringer?

Merton: I know it's at least not human, other than that it's unclear. He's some kind of ominous dark one.

Allison: Have you told Tommy about this?

Merton: No, I was just going over there now.

Allison: I don't think that's such a good idea.

Merton: Why?

Allison: Well, you said yourself that Tommy's been kind of depressed lately. How do think he'll feel when you tell him he's about to die?

Merton: Not that good?

Allison: Exactly.

Merton: But he should still be on the look out.

Allison: We'll be on the look out for him.

Merton: I guess, if you really think so.

He checks his watch.

Merton: We better get going or we'll be late for school.

Allison: Oh, my dad's driving me.

Merton: So have you sorted it all out with him

Allison: Yeah, but now he's all into this grounding me kick.

Merton: That's a shame.

Allison: Well, I gotta go.

Merton: See ya.

Allison: I doubt this prophecy thing will be anything anyway, half of them don't turn out to be serious.

INT: Mausoleum

Allison is talking with the Leader who is pacing around his new home.

Allison: I'm telling you, it sounds serious.

Leader: I believe you but we must make our next moves with caution. I have great plans for Tommy Dawkins and this prophecy might throw a wrench in those plans.

Allison: Screw caution, let's kill the guy before he has a chance to save what ever it is he needs to save.

Leader: You are so beautiful, have I ever told you that?

Allison: All the time. So what do you think I should do about it?

Leader: It's an interesting predicament. If you really want to kill him…

Allison: I do, very much so.

Leader: Oh all right. Let's throw caution to the wind and go for it.

Allison: Thanks.

She kisses him on the cheek and partially goes through his face (If I haven't made it clear enough, he's ghostly and goes through most physical things). She leaves.

INT: Tommy's Living Room

Tommy is lying on the couch like a psychiatrist's office.

Tommy: I don't know, it's just that ever since Lori left, I've had this hole in my stomach. I've tried to fill it with my work but it doesn't take. I just get more and more depressed and angry at the world.

We pan over to see Dean, asleep in his chair from listening to Tommy talk. He wakes up as Tommy finishes talking.

Tommy: So what do you think I should do?

Dean: Well, I think… you should… find something to make you happy.

Tommy: Something, like what?

Dean: Like I have with TV, yours can be whatever you want.

Tommy: Something to make me happy. I think I get it.

Dean: Do you?

Tommy: No, not really.

Dean: Just a hobby or something, something you would enjoy doing.

Tommy: Okay, but what makes me happy?

EXT: Archery Range, Day

A squirrel sits in a tree eating an acorn. Out of nowhere, an arrow hits it in the chest and it falls off its branch.

Down below, several feet away, Deirdre puts down her bow and smiles at another good shot. She walks up to the dead animal and picks it up just as Regis comes up behind her.

Regis: Hardly a four course meal.

Deirdre: It's the thrill of the hunt, dear.

Regis: You know, actual hunting is just as thrilling.

Deirdre: This wasn't the hunt, just a snack.

She eats the squirrel, as if is the most normal thing in the world to do.

Regis: Personally, I prefer to order in. The delivery boys are so tasty.

Deirdre: What do you have for me, Regis?

Regis: Our spies tell us that our pesky little clone is no longer of the living.

Deirdre: That's a bit of good news, saves us the trouble of having to get rid of him later. Is there anything else to report.

Regis: Well, Mr. Dawkins was sucked into a parallel dimension but as always, he won.

Deirdre: It wouldn't be a challenge otherwise.

Regis: There's a difference between a challenge and a losing fight.

Deirdre: Do you lack confidence in me, Regis?

Regis: Officially?

Deirdre: Always the trusted advisor.

Deirdre starts to walk away.

Regis: Um, where are you going?

Deirdre (turning around): Back to school.

INT: Pleasantville High, Main Hallway

Tommy is getting things out of his locker when Merton approaches.

Merton: Hey Tommy.

Tommy: Hey Merton.

Merton: I need to talk to you about something.

Tommy: Okay.

Merton: Not right now, after school sometime.

Tommy: Okay.

Merton: Cool, I gotta go.

Tommy: Okay.

Merton nervously walks away.

Tommy: Okay.

As Merton walks away, he is bumped by a jock and drops all his stuff.

Jock: Hey, watch where you're going!
Merton: Sure thing, (under his breath) jerk.

Tommy runs up to help him pick up his stuff and comes across the old book of prophecies. The book is opened to a page that is bookmarked with a slip of paper. We don't see what is on the paper but it's apparent that he sees something bad on it. He folds it up and puts it in his pocket, then he gives the closed book to Tommy.

Tommy: Here you go man.

Merton: Thanks.

As Merton walks away, Tommy looks pensive.

EXT: Woods, Day

Allison is walking through the woods, careful not to step on anything that would make a sound. She is tracking something and she keeps changing her direction slightly to pick up the scent. She comes to the spot that the weird werewolf was writing his message at. She looks down at the writing in the dirt, then clears it with her foot.

Allison: No fair leaving warnings.

She looks around for the writer who she apparently smells in the area. From our camera angle, we see that the werewolf is hanging up in the tree, torn apart. She looks up and sees the body.

Allison: Oh man, he didn't say there was gonna be climbing.

She reluctantly starts to climb the tree to get to the carcass. After a few seconds of poking it, the body falls to the ground and Allison jumps down to fetch it.

Allison: Let's see what you've been holding back.

She pulls a small parchment from his belt and unrolls it. She reads it to her self, rolls it back up, then walks off screen.

INT: Classroom

It's your basic classroom with Tommy, Merton, and a bunch of other kids. The teacher starts to talk about something boring but the chatter of the kids drowns him out. Tommy unfolds the piece of paper and starts to read. The paper has several patches of notes on it, translations of the old musty prophecy book. Most of the paragraphs have Tommy in them a few times, in regard to an epic battle with "something". Tommy looks over at Merton, who is asleep at his desk. He looks back at the paper to the last paragraph, which is the part about the savior marking the death of us all. There is an equation at the bottom of the paper: Tommy = savior, savior = death, Tommy = death (how's that for obvious?).

Tommy (Loud enough for everyone to turn their heads): Holy crap!

Everyone indeed turns their heads to Tommy, and Merton wakes up.

Tommy: Holy crap that was a good lesson! That's all I was saying. Good job, dude.

He gives the teacher the thumbs up.

EXT: Gas station

A black van pulls up to a very run down gas station on the side of the road. Lori gets out of the car, with sunglasses to hide her eyes, and goes up to the dirty old coot sitting at the small shack of a station.

Lori: How you doin'?

The guy just ignores her.

Lori: Hey, could you tell me which road is…never-mind.


She goes over to the pump and puts it into her gas tank, but nothing happens.

Lori: I think it's out. Do you have any…creepy pervert stubble, I mean more gas.

The guy gets up and goes into the shack, presumably to get a spare gas tank. Lori pulls out a cell phone and dials a number.


Lori: Yeah, is Tamin there? Put him on. Hi, I was just calling to see if you've seen anything. Any visions? Well, if you get anything, call me back, okay? Okay, bye.

She puts away the phone and turns to the gas station attendant who has returned.

Lori: Oh, did you get the…

She starts to have a very painful vision.

Vision

Lori is involved in a violent struggle. We don't make out all that's happening but we see that she is grappling with an unseen assailant.

Back to Reality

Lori comes out of it and looks in horror at the gas station attendant who is now wielding a shovel. She whacks her over the head and she goes down.

INT: Pleasantville High Cafeteria

Merton is walking between the two rows of tables with his tray to get to his usual seat. He stops and starts to talk to someone and we see that Tommy is following him, looking tense and on edge. Merton sits down at his table and Tommy rushes up to sit down in across from him, pushing another kid out of his chair in the process.

Tommy: Hey Merton.

Merton: Hey Tommy.

There is a long, drawn out pause.


Merton: Did you want something.

Tommy: Yes actually, I want to talk to you about something.

Merton: Okay, shoot.

Tommy: Well, I found this thing on the ground and…

Someone behind Tommy taps him on the shoulder.

Kid: Tommy Dawkins?
Tommy: Yes Brian Miller?

Kid: You're wanted in the guidance office.

Tommy: Can't it wait?

Kid: They say it's urgent.

He hands him a slip of paper.

Kid: See, it's checked off right there, "urgent".

Tommy: I see that.

Kid: So you better get going.

Tommy: Okay then.

Tommy laboriously gets up and goes with the kid to the office.

Merton: See ya later man.

As Tommy leaves, Becky sits at the table.

Becky: Merton, I need to talk to you.

Merton: I'm a very popular person today.

Becky: What?

Merton: Nothing, what do you want?

Becky: It's about Allison.

Merton: What about Allison?

Becky: Well…I just don't think she's right for you.

Merton: Why isn't she right for me?

Becky: I think she might be dangerous.

Merton: What are you talking about?

Becky: Well, you've seen that Buffy episode where everybody likes her mom's boyfriend but he's really evil and Buffy's the only one who knows it.

Merton: Yeah, so your saying Allison's an evil robot? Wow, twice in one life time, spooky.

Becky: You know what I mean.

Merton: No, I honestly don't.

Becky: She's just wrong for you. You need a girl who's kind, clever, and has no excess body hair.

Merton: What?

Becky: Nothing.

Merton: Look, Allison's great once you get to know her, plus she's the only girl I've ever had a relationship with that lasted longer than a Kit Kat.

Becky: Well, don't say I didn't warn you when she rips your heart out (under her breath) literally.

Merton: I telling you, she would hurt a fly.

INT: Mausoleum

A fly buzzes by Allison's hand and she smashes it. We rise up and see that Allison is showing her parchment to the Leader.

Allison: So what is it?

Leader: It's the holy council, they're in Pleasantville.

Allison: No way, this came off a werewolf. Nothing against my own kind but we're not the holiest bunch.

Leader: It's the Holy Order of Werewolves, a radical sect who defy their nature and do good.

Allison: Like Tommy?

Leader: Yes, every so often a werewolf is made tainted, still retaining too much of it's humanity to act rationally in the real world.

Allison: And they have a club?

Leader: Strength in numbers.

Allison: So what are they doing here?

Leader: It must be the prophecy, they're really into that sort of thing.

Allison: I'll keep an eye out.

Leader: Be careful Allison, these werewolves are like ants, you stomp them dead and they just keep coming.

Allison: Thanks, I'll watch my back.

She starts to leave.

Leader: Where are you going?

Allison: I'm off to do the double life thing.

Leader: Oh.

Allison: Unless you need me to stay.

Leader: No, I'm fine, you go along with your friends.

Allison: I'm only doing what you suggested. You said keep up the normal girl act or you get lynched.

Leader: I said I'm fine, just go.

Allison: Okay, as long as a you're fine.

Allison leaves. Now alone, the Leader sighs.

INT: Pleasantville High, Hallway

Tommy walks up to the door marked Guidance Office.

INT: Guidance Office

We are now in the office of the Guidance Counselor. We hear a slash and some gross gushy sounds off screen. The camera pans over to the desk and we see the chair turned around so that we cannot see the person sitting in it. Tommy opens the door, walks in, and sits in the small wooden chair in front of the desk.

Tommy: Um, hi. I'm Tommy Dawkins; you wanted to see me?

The chair spins around and Deirdre is sitting in it, dressed the part in a conservative administrator's suit.

Deirdre: Hi Tommy.

Tommy: Hi.

Deirdre: Please, make yourself comfortable.

Tommy shuffles in his rather uncomfortable chair.

Tommy: So where's the other guy?

Deirdre: Who?

Tommy: My old counselor, he was a dude.

Deirdre: He was let go, I'm his replacement.

Tommy: Oh. So what did you want to see me about?
Deirdre: Well Tommy, can I call you Tommy?

Tommy: No actually, Mr. Dawkins would be better.

Deirdre: Okay, Mr. Dawkins, like I said, I'm new, and I was looking through my predecessor's old case files and you came up.

Tommy: Yeah that. I came in here a while back but that was nothing.

Deirdre: Oh I'm sure, he gave you a clean bill of health. I just wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing.

Tommy: Oh, I'm fine I guess.

Deirdre: Well that's good to hear.

Tommy: So, can I go?

Deirdre: I just want to get a little more information. Do you have a girlfriend Tommy?
Tommy: That's a…complicated issue.

Deirdre: Oh. Boyfriend?

Tommy: No. No no! It's not anything like that.
Deirdre: Than what's the complication?
Tommy: I had someone, she left.

Deirdre: Sounds pretty simple.

Tommy: You'd think so, wouldn't you?
Deirdre: I'm just having some trouble figuring you out, Tommy. Your friends tell me you stay out all night, you're depressed, irritable, and your grades haven't really been that good recently.

Tommy: Yeah, cause they were fantastic before.

Deirdre: Still, you have shown a downturn.

Tommy: Who told you this stuff?

Deirdre: A Merton J. Dingle, he's a classmate of yours?

Tommy: Merton said that?

Deirdre: Yes, I interviewed him this morning.

Tommy: Depressed? Irritable? What is he talking about?
Deirdre: Apparently your teammates on the football team agree.

Tommy: Even Shawn?

Deirdre: Yes.

Tommy: That Benedict Arnold!

Deirdre: I don't mean to intrude but I'm just concerned that you might be exhibiting symptoms of a greater problem.

Tommy: Which is what?

Deirdre: Well, you share common attributes with the majority of suicidal cases.

Tommy: Yeah, but I also share common attributes with the majority of dogs, doesn't mean I am one.

Deirdre: I don't understand.

Tommy: It doesn't matter.

Deirdre: I just want to help you. Your friend Merton seemed especially concerned, and willing to help as well.

Tommy: Yeah, I'll bet he was.

Deirdre: Look, I see you're emotional, how about we continue this some other time.

Tommy: Yeah, I think we're done here.

Deirdre: Class is almost starting, you better get a move on.

Tommy gets up and angrily opens the door and leaves.

Deirdre smiles to herself, happy with her mind games. Just then a body, most likely the previous Guidance Counselor, falls out of the closet.

Deirdre: Oh, damn it.

She goes over and picks up the heavy body, then shoves it back into the closet.

INT: Classroom

Tommy, Merton and a whole bunch of students are learning in class.

Tommy's Inner Monologue

I can't believe Merton said that. I thought we looked out for each other. And this paper I stole from him scares the living crap outta me. What does it mean, I'm gonna die? Merton's got some explaining to do.

Tommy looks over at Merton, conspiratorially.

INT: Pervert Den


Lori wakes up from her attack tied up in a run down shack. She looks to her right to see another girl, tied up next to her, beaten and unconscience.

Lori: Nice going visions, way to warn me.

She tries to break her bonds but can't seem to get at them.

Lori: This is just great.

A door opens off screen.

Lori: Let us out of here you freak!

The gas station (Who from now on we'll just call Earl) attendant walks on screen, up to the two girls. He kneels down and tapes Lori's mouth closed.

Earl: Please don't talk, that ruins it for me.

EXT: Street, Day


Tommy is walking down the street. He looks around at his town. Graffiti and litter adorn a sidewalk. A near rabid dog tries to rush at Tommy, only held by a chain. He kid walks by, maybe fifteen or sixteen, and puts a cigarette in his mouth. Tommy passes by an old lady and the kid walks up to her and grabs her purse.

Old Lady: Help, help!

Tommy thinks for a minute, then starts to walk on, ignoring the pleas for help. After a few seconds, conscience prevails and he runs after the mugger.

EXT: Street, Day a few minutes later.

Tommy punches the mugger to the ground and pulls up the purse. The old lady runs up and Tommy hands her the purse.

Old Lady: Oh thank you!
Tommy: Don't mention it.

Tommy starts to walk away.

Old Lady: Wait, let me get you something, a reward.

Tommy: No thanks lady, not necessary.

Old Lady: Just let me see what I have here

Tommy: Please just go, I'm fine.

Old Lady (searching through the purse): Now where did I put my wallet?

Tommy (exploding): Look lady, I don't want your freakin' money!

The old lady shrinks down and starts to back away.

Tommy: Oh God, I'm sorry.

Tommy, kinda disgusted with himself, runs off.

EXT: The Lair, Day

Merton walks up to the Lair door and gets out his keys. Just as he unlocks the door, a group of dudes in black come out of the bushes and grab him. They pull him away before he can make out any words. A about a full minute later, Tommy comes up and knocks on the door.

Tommy: Merton, you in?

He opens the door and walks in.

INT: The Lair

Tommy walks in and looks over at the desk to find Merton's books and notes open on top of it. He goes over to the desk and starts to read. There is a montage of him going over all the notes and reading the book until it ends and he slumps down, tired, in front of a glass tank with plant material inside it.

Tommy: This just isn't happening.

A small Venus flytrap jumps at the glass and Tommy jumps (oh come on, you all saw it coming).

Tommy: What the hell?

Tommy, slightly freaked, walks out of the Lair. When he leaves, Becky bursts in and rushes to the weapons cabinet. She starts to pull out the swords and liquid silver super soakers and strap them on. She goes to leave the layer.

Becky: I'll show you spunk, bitch.

She exits.

INT: Allison's House, Kitchen

The family is having dinner in silence. Allison suddenly gets a phone call and brings up a cellular phone from her hip.

Allison: Yeah, what you need boss? Okay, got it. I'm gone.

Allison gets up and leaves the table for the door.

Dad: Where are you going young lady?

Allison: Just going out to have a little fun.

She walks out the door, leaving the parents to their food.

Mom: You know, this is all your fault.

Dad: My fault? How is it my fault?

Mom: I don't know, but it always is.

Dad: Yeah, you're probably right.

INT: Hotel Room

Merton wakes up from being knocked out and finds himself in a hotel room. A man in all black sits on a chair next to the bed Merton lays on, watching him.

Man in Black: Hey guys, he's awake.

Five other men in black walk in and grab chairs to sit in front of their kidnapped victim (please note, when I say man in black I mean cool Matrix black, not shadow government black).

Merton: Hello.

Leader Guy: Merton Dingle.

Merton: Who's asking?
Leader Guy: My name is Gideon, I'm with the Holy Order of Werewolves. I bet you're wondering why we kidnapped you.

Merton: No, actually I'm wondering where you got all those chairs.

Gideon: Look, we grabbed you because we need your help.

Merton: Oh, cause I was hoping I'd made a "special" friend.

Gideon: We know of the work you've been doing to fighting evil here in Pleasantville.

Merton: Actually, my friend Tommy does most of that.

Other Wolf 1: That's kinda what we're here for.

Merton: Is this about the prophecy?

Gideon: Yes, what do you know about the prophecy?

Merton: That depends, what do you know?

Gideon: We know of the Dark One, the one that will kill the savior and bring about the end of the world.

Wolf 2: We think that Tommy is the savior.

Merton: Then you're about as far as I am. From what I've found I think it's about to go down within a few weeks.

Gideon: We think sooner than that.

Merton: I still don't know what this Dark One is though.

Wolf 1: We do.

Gideon: We have a theory, will you help us?

Merton: Okay, that sounds cool.

Gideon: Then we must work quickly or the Earth will soon be destroyed.

Merton: Sure man, whatever.

Gideon: I just said the Earth might soon be destroyed, shouldn't you be less calm.

Merton: this sort of thing happens a lot.

Gideon: Oh.

INT: Pervert Den

Lori struggles to get the tape off her mouth, trying to get it hooked on her shoulder and pulling up. She does and the tape comes off, just as the other girl wakes up.

Girl: Who are you?
Lori: My names Lori. What about you?

Girl: Jenny.

Lori: Hi Jenny, wanna get out of here?

She nods.

Lori: Than help me get out of these.

Jenny: How?

Lori: Just inch over and grab the knot, then I can pull it out.

Jenny: Okay, I'll try.

She starts to inch over.

Lori: So who is this guy, anyway?

Jenny: I don't know.

Lori: How long have you been here?

Jenny: I'm not sure, a couple of days maybe.

Lori: Why did I have to pick the one Gas Station run by Hannibal Lector?

Jenny: Just fate I guess.

Lori: I know a thing about fate and this ain't it. This just sucks.

A door opens off screen.

Jenny: Shhh, he's coming.

On the other side of the room, Earl's silhouette is preparing a space for something. Lori starts to shake a little bit as an oncoming vision hits her. She comes out of it and smiles.

Lori: Why didn't I think of that?

Jenny: What?

Lori: Nothing, shhh

EXT: Allison's Front Porch, Night

Allison comes up to the door wear a crap load of werewolf killing weapons. She rings the doorbell and Allison's dad answers.

Becky: Hi, you must be Allison's dad. I'm Becky.

She shakes his hand, which is hard because she's full of weapons.

Becky: Is she in by any chance.

Dad: I'm sorry, she went out.

Becky: Oh, okay. If she comes in, tell her I came over and that I want to jam this katana (she holds up a katana) down her lying werewolf throat.

Dad: Okee-Dokee, I'll give her the message.

He blissfully closes the door and Becky walks away, determined to catch a werewolf.

INT: Factory

Tommy sits at the bar, drowning his sorrows in non-alcoholic, frothy drinks. Phil, everybody's favorite bartender, is tending bar.

Tommy: You know what Phil, I woke up today thinking I was just gonna go to school, go home, go to sleep, then do it all over again. But you know what I found out?

Phil: What is it, man.

Tommy: It's never that simple. It's either you get transported to another dimension or you find out that some old prophet a thousand years ago said that today, whatever day it is, is the day that you are gonna die.

Phil: I hear that.

Tommy: It's always something, episodically ruining my life, which apparently means nothing to some omnipotent evil force who keeps throwing monsters at me.

Phil: Well, it seems to me that…

Tommy: I should keep on drinking.

Phil: No, it seems to me that you should embrace the wild unpredictability of your life and it will then become predictable. Have fun with the danger and the knowledge that your still doing things right.

Tommy: Seriously man, just shut up and get me another drink.

Phil: Okay.

Phil hands him a drink. On the other side of the room, Allison walks in the door, out for blood. She sees Tommy sitting alone in a stupor and softens a little bit. Over by Tommy, he swigs down his drink in one gulp. Allison joins him at the bar.

Allison: Hey Tommy.

Tommy: Hey Allison.

Allison: What's going on, you look a little down.

Tommy: Apparently, I'm gonna die and there's nothing I can do about it.

Allison: Everybody dies Tommy, sooner or later.

Tommy: Well they don't all die within the next few weeks.

Allison: Well I don't know about that.
Tommy: So what are you doing.

Allison: Rest and relaxation.

Tommy: I could use some of that.

He signals for another drink and it is slid down to him.

Allison: So what are you gonna do about this whole death thing?

Tommy: Wait for it to get itself over with.

Allison: That's kinda defeatist, isn't it? I bet whatever wants to kill you wants a challenge.

Tommy: Well screw it.

Allison: Have it your way.

Tommy: So how have you been doing?

Allison: Me? Why?

Tommy: You're always pretty quiet, you never really have much drama about you, at least not destined to die type drama.

Allison: I guess I'm fine.

Tommy: Just fine?

Allison: No, really good. I got a good boyfriend, a good evil fighty job, everything's great.

She gives an extraordinarily fake smile.

Tommy: Well, that's just great.

Allison: Take it easy, I gotta go.

Tommy: See ya later, oh wait I probably won't, what with my imminent death and all.

Allison: I'll throw some flowers for you.

Tommy: Appreciate it.

Allison walks out of frame and Tommy downs another drink.

EXT: The Woods, Night

Merton walks through, followed by the werewolves, still cool in black.

Merton (to Gideon): So what are we looking for exactly.

Gideon: The creature described in our sacred texts is a living shadow, the purest form of evil, composed of several million demonic insects.

Merton: So your saying it's like my sister Becky.

Gideon: I do not understand.

Merton: I think the media warped her fragile mind at an early age.

Gideon: This creature is a formidable foe, we do not have time for other matters.

Merton: So if this thing is just a bunch of bugs shaped like a person, how do we kill it without being able to touch it.

Gideon: It takes full corporeal form when it is just about to kill.

Merton: Okay, so who's the bait?

They all look at him.

Merton: Oh no, no, no, no, and I mean no.


Gideon: This thing does not normally eat werewolves, only when it is summoned to do so, humans are its favored meal.

Merton: You couldn't have told me this before.

Gideon: You would have had a chance to refuse.

Merton: Still do.

He turns around to run and runs right into the other werewolves.

Merton: Hi guys, you all said you were good werewolves right.

Wolf 1: Even we have are limits.

Merton: Okay.

He turns around and starts walking again.

Voice From Off Screen: Hey! We found him.


Merton: Found who?


The wolves run toward the voice and Merton reluctantly follows.

EXT: Another Part of the Woods, Night

The group gets to the spot where Allison found the dead werewolf; he still lies there in the same spot.

Merton: Ewww, what happened to him?
Gideon: What do you think?
Merton: I'm serious, with all the monsters we have here, it's kind of up in the air.

Gideon: It didn't eat, it just mauled him.

Merton: Maybe it saw him as a threat.

Gideon: Can any of you get the scent.

The werewolves start to sniff the air.

Merton: I got something.

Gideon: Where is it.

Merton: Right there.

He points and they all look to see a giant bug creature, which leaps at them.

Merton: Seriously now, who wants to trade me jobs with the bait thing?

Merton jumps out of the way of the beast and it lands on the ground.

Gideon: Get it!

Merton: But it's gross!

Gideon: Just kill the thing.

It's too late. The creature takes flight on insect wings that burst out of its back. It picks up a werewolf before it flies off and rips it apart in the air off screen.

Merton: Well that wasn't pleasant.

Gideon (grim): Let's go get it.

Merton: I mean, sure it's a hideous monster but there's still a thing called manners.

They walk after the creature.

EXT: Park, Night

Becky trudges through the park with a bunch of weapons.

Becky: I'll show her who's all scary and intimidating. Let's see her try to intimidate this (her katana).

She looks around to find someone but no one is there.

Becky: Well, one place down, about a million to go.

She starts to walk off to her right and walks right into Allison, obstructing her path.

Allison: Hey Becky, where do you think you're going with all that?
Becky: I'm not going anywhere.

She prepares her sword.

Allison: Oh, how cute.

Allison swats the sword away and pushes Becky to the ground in one fluid, super fast motion.

Allison: But you must stop this or I might just have to kill you.

She walks away whistling.

Becky: Dammit!

She pounds her fist on the ground and the man-bug creature flies right by her, knocking the wind out of her. A few seconds later, Merton runs up with his new werewolf buddies.

Merton: Becky?

Becky: Merton?

Merton: What are you doing here?

Becky: Monster hunting.

Merton: Aw, how cute, with the weapons and everything.

Becky: Shut up!


She gets up and picks up her katana.

Merton: Where did that thing go?

Becky: (she points) That way.

Merton: Let's go guys…and girl.

They all rush after the monster.

INT: Pervert Den

Lori waits for the door to close. When it does, she starts to talk again.

Lori: What hasn't this guy done anything with us yet?
Jenny: He likes to wait, until you starve or can't take the waiting anymore, whichever comes first.

Lori: Okay, I have a plan. Do you see that table over there?


The girl looks over and there is a table rather close to her.

Jenny: Yeah.

Lori: There's a knife on the edge of that table. I need you to kick the table leg so it will fall and then drag it over here with your feet.

Jenny: I don't know if I can reach it.

Lori: Well I know.

Jenny: Okay.

Jenny reaches out with her legs, which are both tied together and kicks the table leg. After two or three kicks, the knife falls. She then takes her legs and uses them to drag the knife towards her.

Jenny: I think I get it.

The door opens off screen and Earl comes in. Jenny slides the knife in between her and Lori, who grabs it and turns it up to cut the bonds on her wrists and ankles. Earl walks over to the two girls, trying to decide who to pick. He lands on Lori and crouches down to be face to face with her.

Earl: It's your turn.

Lori: Sorry man…


She brings up her legs, which are now cut free, and kicks him square in the nuts.

Lori: …Maybe some other time.

Lori stands up and starts to whale on the creep, handing the knife to Jenny so she can cut her own ropes.

Lori: You picked the wrong girl to mess with today, creep.

She kicks him in the face as he tries to get up.

Lori (To Jenny): Get out of here, I got this taken care of.


Jenny gets up, free from the ropes, and runs out. Lori turns back to Earl who is trying to crawl away.

Lori: No way pal, you're not getting off that easy.

EXT: The Street, Night

Tommy is walking down the street, looking from side to side to see if anything that could possibly mean his death.

EXT: Park, Night

The creature of the week is running through the park, determined and hungry.

Creature's POV: We see what the creature sees now, which is all gray and interspersed with images of it's prey, one Thomas Dawkins.

EXT: The Park, Farther Behind the Creature, Night

Merton's group is running as fast as it can after the creature.

EXT: Street, Night

Tommy is still walking, oblivious of any specific danger.

EXT: The Hungry Bucket Exterior, Night

The creature leaps out and onto a table. Everyone runs away and the creature jumps off screen. A few seconds later, Merton's group runs up.

Merton: I think it's going to the Lair.

Becky: Let's take the short cut.

They rush off.

EXT: The Lair, Night

Tommy goes up to the Lair door and opens it.

INT: The Lair

Tommy comes in and grabs his letterman jacket which he forgot (which is the reason he came here and not to his home). He looks up and finds Allison looking through Merton's personal cabinet. The lock has broken and is lying on the desk in pieces.

Tommy: Hey, Allison.

Allison turns around and sees him.

Allison: Hey Tommy.

Tommy: What are you…?

He is cut off by the giant bug creature who bursts through the window into the Lair. It inhales and forms all the bugs in its body together to make one corporeal being. The demon roars and stalks over to Tommy. Merton bursts into the room and slams an axe into the creature's neck, chopping its head clean off. The demon slumps to the ground and Tommy looks at Merton in astonishment.

Merton: I got one!

Tommy: Yes you did.

Merton: Yes! (To dead monster) You suck, I rule, booya!

Allison's phone vibrates and she picks it up.

Leader (on the line): It's time.

Allison: Got it.

Merton: Oh, I almost forgot.

Merton turns around and leaves.

EXT: The Lair

Merton pokes his head out of the door and addresses the werewolves and Becky.

Merton: It's okay guys, everything's fine.

He closes the door and Becky turns to the werewolves.

Becky: So, you guys wanna go to the Factory?

They look at each other.

All in unison: Sure.

INT: Lair

Merton comes back into the Lair just as Allison pulls out a long knife and springs for an unsuspecting Tommy.

Merton: Tommy, watch out!

It's too late. Tommy is stabbed in the side and drops to the floor, presumably dead. Allison makes a break for the door, pushing Merton down in the process.

Just as Allison runs out the door (the one made from scratch when the uber-wolf made a hole), Lori walks in the original door.

Lori: It's all right, I'm here.

Merton (Just getting up): Oh, Hi Lori.

We are left in a situation with Lori standing at the door and Merton shocked over his recent experience with Tommy's dead body.

EXT: Hedge Maze, The Square Room

Tommy and Lori stand in the middle of the square but the chessboard had disappeared. There are two doors next to them, one marked death and the other marked life.

Lori: No more games Tommy, not for you.

EXT: Another Part of the Hedge Maze

Merton has just finished hog tying a pig. He gets up and goes over to Allison who is pushing a stroller and holding a stopwatch. The midget stands beside Allison, hugging her side.

Merton: How long was that?

Allison: Eight minutes, forty-five seconds.

Merton (to baby in stroller): Beat that, chump!

Allison pushes the stroller off screen to where Merton was and then comes back to Merton. We can't see what the baby is doing but we assume by their facial expressions that he is performing some amazing feats in hog tying technique and skill.

Allison: He's kinda cute, is he single?

Midget: Hey, don't tease me like that.

Merton shakes his fist in the air like a cartoon and runs over to the baby off screen.

Merton (yelling off screen): Bastard!

Allison (to the midget): Don't worry baby, I'll never leave you.

She gives him a little hug.

EXT: The Square

Tommy and Lori are still talking among the doors.

Lori: Where you gonna go?

Tommy: I think it's kind of obvious.

Tommy goes to open the "life" door but it melts when he touches it. Tommy turns to Lori and she has started to melt as well, along with the entire dimension, leaving only darkness. Only the man in the banana suit stays completely solid for the moment. He hands Tommy a snack pack.

Banana Man: You'll need this.

Tommy: Right on brother.

The do a complicated gang handshake and he starts to melt.

Lori (almost meted away): Looks can be deceiving.

She and everything else melts away, leaving Tommy in a void of black evil place.

Tommy: Well this just sucks.

He breaks open the snack pack and we cut.

Title Card Reads: To Be Continued.