Mike And Me

INT: Lair

Merton sits in a sacred circle Indian style on the floor. He starts to hum and the chalk circle glows.

Merton: Hear me council. Heed my words. Grant me the audience I seek.

The scene flashes into…

INT: Blue Universe.

Merton is still sitting Indian style but there is no longer a floor. He is in a completely matter-less place of dark blue space. In front of him, several shadows sweep around with white glowing eyes.

Merton: Is…anyone there?

Voice from Shadow 1: How dare you approach us human!

Shadow 2: This is an affront to all that is sacred!

Shadow 3: We must destroy the flesh!

Merton: Oh come on guys, there's no need for that.

INT: Motel Room

Lori is packing her clothes into a suitcase.

EXT: Motel

Lori walks out of her room and into the outside parking lot. She gets into her car.

INT: Car

Lori starts up the car and sighs. She stops the car for a second and holds back tears.

EXT: Hotel

The car drives off and we push in on another door to another room.

INT: Hotel Room

This room looks almost exactly like Lori's except that Allison is sitting on the bed.

Allison: Are you ready yet boss?
Voice from the Bathroom: I'll be right out.

The bathroom door opens and Gideon comes out, freshly showered in a bathrobe. He looks into a full-length mirror and his reflection fades away to reveal the Leader's original form, then back again

Gideon: Been awhile since I did that?
Allison: Showering is one of the pleasures of a corporeal being.

Gideon: I didn't shower much as an old man either, didn't see much use in it.

Allison: Eww.

Gideon: But this is a body you want to keep clean.

Allison: Not too clean I hope.

They get kind of close now (in case I haven't mentioned this, Gideon wasn't that old, maybe twenty, and Allison is eighteen).

Gideon: Let's go out tonight. Paint the town blood red.

Allison: What happened to caution? Keeping a low profile?
Gideon: Screw it for one night and come out with me.

Allison: You're like a horny teenager.

Gideon: I'm not that far from it now, physically at least.

Allison: You just sit tight.

Gideon: Aw, you're no fun anymore.


Allison pulls away, gets off the bed, and goes into the bathroom. She comes back out with a comb in her hair.

Allison: We had a pretty eventful weekend, I think we better lay off the mayhem for a while.

Gideon: I kind of like when you're the voice of reason and order for once. You look so great as the take charge gal.

Allison: You're insane.

Gideon: Yeah, probably.

She goes up and sits on his lap, and then we cut to…

INT: Blue Universe

Merton sits in his same spot while the shadows swirl around. Upon closer inspection, the shadows look like transparent floating jellyfish with skull faces.

Shadow 1 (flying right up at his face): You must have wanted something important to have summoned the fates. The magics involved are…

Merton: Dangerous, yeah I know. So you gonna help me or what? I ruined a perfectly good rug with gerbil blood to get here and I expect something in return.

Shadow: It was supposed to be wolf's blood!
Merton: Yeah, well my friend Tommy's been through a lot this month; I decided not to bother him.

Shadow: We should kill you where you stand.

Merton: I'm sitting.

Shadow: Very well, we will answer three questions.

Merton: Only three?
Shadow: No, now it is two.

Merton: That didn't count, did it?
Shadow: Yes it did, as did that. What is your last question?

Merton: Damn! Okay, why did it have to happen to her?
Shadow: You are of course referring to the young werewolf girl?

Merton: Yes.

Shadow: It was fated.

Merton: Very funny, fate man.

Shadow: There is nothing we can do for you.

Merton: But this isn't fair!

Shadow: Life isn't fair. You're a human yet you haven't figured that out?

Merton: How can I help her?
Shadow: There is no way, you have asked all your questions.

Merton: But…

The shadows sweep into nothingness.

Merton: Dammit!

Merton stands up. He starts to walk away but stops and rubs his legs.

Merton: Ah! Pins and needles.

He limps off camera. When he leaves, the universe fades away to reveal…


INT: The Lair

Merton stands up from a sitting position and walks up stairs. Suddenly the sacred circle turns from white to black. The rug inside the circle turns into a portal to some other dimension. A man in a black Amish get-up (minus the beard and skin) crawls up from the pit and it closes behind him. He snarls subtly and vanishes.

(Note: When I say "minus the skin" I literally mean no skin. This guy just has tissue and organs covering his bones, like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man. Don't ask about the Amish look, I just think it looks cool.)

INT: Tommy's Room

Tommy's POV: A golden watch on a chain is swung like a pendulum in front of the camera.

Becky's Voice from Off Screen: Just relax, let all distractions fade away.

Tommy: I've already tried this bit, it doesn't work.

Becky: Just give me a chance.

Tommy: I'm telling you, this is stupid.

Becky: Shut up and relax already.

We now see Tommy sitting on a cushion on the floor, trying to sit comfortably.

Becky's Voice: Now take deep breaths and close your eyes.

He closes his eyes and breathes in. The background floods away to an all black happy place.

Becky: Everything is calm, everything is serene. There is nothing coming after us…at least nothing of immediate danger.

Tommy: Nice cover.

Becky: Shhh, keep breathing. Okay, you've gone to your special place. What do you see?

Tommy: I see darkness, nothing.

Becky: Your happy place is nothing? That's kinda sad Tommy.

Tommy: I'm trying.

Becky: Try harder.

Tommy: Okay.

Tommy concentrates and opens his eyes to see…

EXT: Flowery Meadow, Day

Tommy stands in a beautiful place where sunshine glitters over everything.

Tommy: This is kinda nice.

He crouches down and picks a daffodil from the ground.

Tommy: I think I feel at peace here.

The daffodil starts to mutate, growing sharp teeth and horrible antennae. It bites his finger and he drops it.


Tommy: Ow!

The background comes back and we are back in Tommy's Room. Tommy opens his eyes.

Tommy: I think this was a bad idea.

Becky: It can't hurt to try it.

Tommy: We did try it, and it failed.

Becky: I'll start burning some more incense.

Tommy: Don't bother. I gotta go; we'll be late for school.

Becky: Shouldn't you get an "evil fighter's" card or something? Show the teacher your membership and he lets you through?

Tommy: I wish. Let's go.

INT: Sterile White Room

A man in a lab coat hurries up to a door and flashes his ID under a scanner to open it.

INT: Hallway

The man almost runs down the hall and to another door, which he opens with his ID.

INT: Containment Room


The man walks into a small room much similar to all the others he's been in except for the one wall, which has a large glass window looking into another room where a man in a black suit sits on the floor, thinking. A guard in a black suit sits at a desk watching him.


Man in Lab Coat: How is he doing?
Guard: I don't know, he's just been sitting there all morning.

Man: He hasn't moved?
Guard: No sir.

Man: Okay, I'll take over from here.

Guard: Do you want me to stay outside the door in case something goes wrong?

Man: No, that's fine.

Guard: Okay sir, he's all yours.

The guard gets up and leaves the man to his prisoner.

Man: Hello? Agent Smith?

The Agent in the cell perks up and stands to face the scientist.

Agent Smith: Hello.

Man: How are you feeling today?

Agent Smith: As good as anyone can while trapped in a government facility.

Man: Very well, Agent Smith…

Agent Smith: Don't call me that.

Man: What should I call you?

Agent Smith: I've told you before, I've forgotten my original name. (Thinking for a moment) Well I suppose you could call me Merton. I was in him longer than I've been here.

Man: Do you know how long you have been in this cell?

"Merton": No, not the cell, this body.

Man: Oh.

"Merton": I'm not sure how long, but it's about time I got out.

Man: I'm here to watch over you now, Merton.

"Merton": No. That doesn't work well either does it? How about the Pleasantville Strangler? I haven't strangled anyone in a good while but I've been meaning to start up again.

Man: Well…

Strangler: Too long? Okay, just "Strangler" than.

Man: Okay Strangler, I'm here to help you.

Strangler: Sure you are. Okay then, get me out of here.

Man: I can't do that.

Strangler: You're no help then.

His eyes start to glow light purple.

Strangler: I guess I'll have to do it myself.

INT: Classroom

Tommy sits in a chair in the back while a boring teacher lectures monotonally. Tommy concentrates on a pen he is trying to balance on the desk rather than the lesson. We kind of get that the teacher is talking fish biology.

Tommy's Inner Monologue

I don't know, but I am having some trouble with this. It seems to me that after you've been clinically dead for several hours after your friend turned into a werewolf and stabbed you, lectures about fish just aren't very relevant. Okay, other people in the class are all ready to become fish-ologists but if I wasn't here to fight evil for them, they may not get the chance to follow that dream. I know what I'm doing, why don't they cut me some slack.

The teacher comes up and rests his hands on Tommy's desk.

Teacher: Tommy, could you please tell the class why you feel you can not pay attention.

Tommy: I'm just special, didn't you know that?

The class starts to laugh.

Teacher: Please step out of the class.


The bell rings and everybody files out.

Tommy: Okay.

Tommy quickly gets up and leaves. The teacher shakes his hand slightly (a nod to Merton's cartoonish behavior in Tommy's dream).

INT: Main Hallway

Tommy walks up to Merton at the lockers.

Tommy: Hey Merton.

Merton: Hey Tommy.

Tommy: You okay? You sound kinda mad.

Merton: All I said was "Hey Tommy".

Tommy: I can sense it; ancient werewolf secret. What's wrong?

Merton: Nothing. I tried a spell this morning and it kinda went nowhere.

The Amish dressed skinless guy walks into the hallway and starts to stroll down the hall.

Tommy: You didn't happen to unleash any creepy monsters with that spell, did you?
Merton: I don't think so, why do you ask?
Tommy: That's just the kind of thing that happens to us.

Merton: I don't think anything was unleashed, except maybe a whole lotta nothing.

The skinless guy comes up closer and we see that no one seems to even see him. He seems to be heading for Tommy and Merton.

Tommy: Okay man, stay outta trouble. I gotta go.

Tommy leaves as skinless comes even closer.

Becky comes up to Merton and closes his locker in his face angrily.

Merton: Hello dear sister.

Becky: Don't give me that. I want to talk to you.

Merton: What about?

Becky: You know what this is about; you think I can't handle the pressure of fighting evil with you guys.

Merton: I don't think that, (off her look) okay, I do think that. So sue me.

Becky: You're just trying to deal with your other issues by taking it out on me.

Merton: I don't have time for this right now. I have to get to class.

Merton leaves his locker just as skinless pounces. The man misses and hits air. Becky does not see him, along with everyone else in the hall.

Becky: This isn't over Merton!

INT: Tommy's House, Living Room

Dean flips through channels in his chair when someone knocks on the door.

Dean: As long as you aren't an evil cable man, come on in!

The door opens and Lori walks in.

Lori: Hey Dean.

Dean: Oh, hi Lori. Where have you been?

Lori: Out of town. Is Tommy in?
Dean: What are you talking about, he's in school.

Lori: It's Sunday.

Dean: I wish. Then I could see the X-Files marathon all over again. It's Monday. Why aren't you in school?

Lori: I dropped out. How did I forget the day?

Dean: I do that sometimes. When the cable goes out I don't have primetime to tell me.

Lori: I've just been a mess lately.

Dean: Then sit down and talk about it.

Lori: Won't I be interrupting your show?

Dean: Naw, that's all right. I've seen this one already.


He mutes the TV.

Lori: So, what, you want me to tell you my problems?
Dean: It's what I'm here for. I rarely get out of this chair so there's not much room for character development. Luckily, whenever someone has issues, I'm here for them.

Lori: Okay. I guess what's bothering me the most is Tommy.

Dean: How so?

Lori: He's just so distant. I came back here to help him and he tells me to leave.

Dean: He wants you gone?
Lori: Yeah, but only for my own good.

Dean: Really?

Lori: But that's just it. I can handle myself in the fight and I can be a big help now that I can kind of control my…control.

Dean: Well, I think you should just respect his wishes.

Lori: You mean leave.

Dean: Yes. I'm not just speaking as his brother. I think he feels uncomfortable around you because of your break up. He can't work out his issues with you constantly around him.

Lori: He's had a pretty long time.

Dean: Tommy's not the kind of guy who gives up on grudges easily.

Lori: I need to talk to him first.

Dean: I don't recommend it. That could only lead to trouble. I'll talk to him.

Lori: Would you?

Dean: Sure.

Lori: Thanks Dean.

Dean: Don't mention it.

Lori gets up and leaves. Dean un-mutes the TV and it shows two people talking.

Man: …is not the kind of guy who gives up on grudges easily. I'll talk to him.

Woman: Would you?
Man: Sure.

Woman: Thanks.

Dean: Bizarre.

INT: Highschool, Lunchroom

Merton sits at his usual table, reading a small book entitled Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. At the double doors, skinless enters the room and looks around. He sees Merton and starts to walk over to him, slowly. A kid passes by him and goes right through him like he was a ghost. Becky walks up behind skinless but doesn't stop and she too walks right through him. She hurriedly walks over to Merton's table.

Becky: Merton.

Merton: Look Becky, I don't think we should talk right now.

Becky: Why not?
Merton: I'm eating, I know for a fact that what you're about to say will ruin my lunch.

Becky: I just don't know where you get off saying I can't fight evil with you guys anymore.

Merton (Throwing down his fork): And there it is.

Becky: Come on, I'm just as good as you in a fight and I can hold my own. I know you're afraid I'll get hurt but I won't.

Merton: You can't know that.

Becky: I do. Don't you have enough confidence in me to know that I can handle myself?

The skinless guy rises up from behind Merton and touches him on the shoulder; he shudders slightly.

Becky: What does that mean?

Merton: I don't know what that was.

Becky: Are you acting weird to try to get me to go away.

Merton: No (He shudders again).


Skinless reaches into the back of Merton's head, going right through like it was pudding.

Merton: Ah!

Becky: Merton, what's wrong?

Merton: I don't know, it's like…

His head slams down on the table.

Becky: Merton?

Merton's head shoots up and a look of anger appears on it.

Merton (suppressed rage): Yeah Becky, actually, there is something wrong.

Becky: Yeah? What's that?

Merton: Actually, it's you.

Becky: What?
Merton: Becky, trust your big brother when I say you just can't cut it out there with us.

Becky: Yes I…

Merton: No, you can't. You will never be good enough.

Becky: What's wrong with you.

Merton: I am just sick and tired of you trying to be action hero girl simply because it looks like it would look cool this month! This is a serious job and you're only going to get your self hurt.

Becky: What's gotten into you?
Merton (sickenly sweet): Nothing Becky, I'm only trying to look out for your welfare.

A tinge of remorse flashes past Merton's face and he seems to snap out of whatever he was just in.

Merton: Becky…?

Becky (choked up): Merton, you…

Merton (scared): I gotta go.

Merton runs off, leaving Becky holding back tears.

INT: Main Hallway

Tommy walks down the Main Hallway. Merton runs past him in a rush. Before Tommy can say anything, he is tapped on the shoulder. He turns and finds Deirdre, once again playing the part of Guidance Counselor.

Deirdre: Hello Tommy.

Tommy: Oh, hey Mrs.…

Deirdre: Salinger, but that's not important.

Tommy: Very little is anymore.

Deirdre: I just wanted to check up on you again, see how you're doing.

Tommy: I'm doing fine, great even.

Deirdre: Good to hear. Do you want to step into my office?
Tommy: Not really but I suppose I have to.

Deirdre: Good.

Deirdre takes Tommy by the shoulder and slips something into his collar. She leads him into her office.

INT: Guidance Office.

Tommy: Nice office, I love what you've done with the place.

Deirdre: It's exactly the same as the last time you were here.

Tommy: Yeah but then it was…less modern.

Deirdre: Please, sit down.

Tommy: No, I'd rather stand. I'm gonna be late for class.

Deirdre: This won't take long, I just wanted to know how you're getting along.

Tommy: I told you, everything is going great. I'm not dead, nothing's coming after me. I'm on top of the world, looking down, down on creation.

Deirdre: That's all I need to hear.

Tommy: Can I go?

Deirdre: Sure.

Tommy: Okay, great.

Tommy turns to leave.

Deirdre: Oh, Tommy?

He turns back.

Tommy: What?

Deirdre sets a pouch of something on fire on her desk and her eyes start to glow.

Deirdre: Let the beacon be transported!

Tommy feels a sharp pain in the back of his neck. We show the back of his neck to reveal a black tattoo of some weird symbol has now appeared and is pulsating.

Tommy: What's going on?

Deirdre: Nothing.

She waves her hand and everything stops.

Tommy: What the..?
Deirdre: Forget.

Tommy's eyes flicker and he appears calm and collected like before the commotion.

Tommy: So can I go?
Deirdre: Sure.

Tommy turns and leaves.

EXT: Hotel, Day

Allison walks up to her room with two big buckets of Hungry Bucket chicken. She looks around suspiciously, then enters the room.

INT: Hotel Room

Allison comes into the small room and finds it empty.

Allison: Boss?

She walks through the "living room".

Allison: You there?

Gideon (Voice From Off Screen): I'm in here!

Allison looks over to the bedroom door. She walks over and opens it to reveal a queen-sized bed with Gideon lying on top of it. She walks in.

INT: Bedroom

Gideon smiles but Allison doesn't look up at him.

Allison: I brought us some food.

She starts to pull chicken out of the bucket.

Allison: I didn't know which kind you liked so I got them all: legs, thighs, wings breas…(she looks up at Gideon) ts.

We now see that she sees Gideon on the bed with a woman tied up next to him. She whimpers despite the tape over her mouth.

Gideon: That's all right baby, I got take out.

We push in to Allison looking conflicted and then cut to…

INT: Bathroom

Merton opens the door to the school bathroom from the outside and closes it behind him as he comes in. He runs up to the mirror and checks himself over. A guy washes his hands in a sink next to him.

Merton: Okay Merton, nothing to worry about, you just had a little mental breakdown.

The guy washing his hands looks over in confusion.

Merton: Yeah, that's right, I said a nervous breakdown! You want to make something of it?

Guy: No man, that's all right.

The guy leaves and Merton looks back at the mirror.

Merton: What was that? I don't usually yell at strangers in bathrooms. Do I? Never mind that, I'm fine, I'm sane.

His reflection fades away and into that of Skinless.

Skinless: I wouldn't say that, I mean you are talking to yourself and all. Is that something a sane person would do?

Merton jumps back in shock and starts to back away from the mirror. He backs right into Skinless who is standing right behind him.

Merton: So, you're a…actually I don't know what the hell you are but what's that like anyway?

INT: Hallway, Near the Double Doors.

Lori walks in the door (Note: I don't see how she's allowed being on school grounds but whatever) and looks down the hall to see Tommy getting out of his class. He doesn't see her in the room but she starts to walk up to him.

Voice From Behind Lori: Lori?

Lori turns around and some girl is standing behind her.

Girl: Lori Baxter?

Lori: Jessica?

Jessica: Where have you been, I haven't seen you in weeks.

Lori: Months actually.

Jessica: Well it could have been months.

Lori: It was, two of them if you can believe it.

Jessica: How have you been? What have you been doing?

Lori: Nothing really. I just had to go somewhere to find myself I guess.

Jessica: So you're back.

Lori: Yep.

Jessica: We need to go out and check up on old times

Lori: I don't know how long I'm staying.

Jessica: Oh, that's too bad, we'll make it soon then.

Lori looks over to see Tommy walking away from her but can't get out of the conversation.

Lori: Okay, fine whatever.

Jessica: Okay, I'll see you soon.

Lori: Sure.

Jessica leaves for another friend who walks by.

Jessica: Samantha? Where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages.

Samantha: I saw you at lunch.

They walk off.

Lori: Bizarre.

Tommy is walking further away and Lori starts to walk after him but looks conflicted. She decides not to, turns back, and runs out of the double door.

INT: Bathroom

Merton is looking intently at Skinless, amazed at his lack of skin.

Merton: This is the grossest thing I've ever seen, and for me that's saying something.

Skinless: Look, we can sit here all day but we're not gonna get anything done.

Merton: What are you? I can usually identify most demons, but I kind of have to see the skin.

Skinless: You are obsessed with this skin thing.

Merton: Well, it's creepy.

Skinless: Don't you want to know what my intentions are, why I know your name?

Merton: Actually, I kinda wanna know where your skin is.

Skinless: Maybe this was a bad idea.

Merton: Oh, don't say that. Okay, what are your intentions?
Skinless: I'm here to help you.

Merton: Really, that's cool.

Skinless: Well, I figure you released me so I owe you a big debt.

Merton: When did I…? Oh crap, the spell. You're from the fates.

Skinless: I was their prisoner.

Merton: But I let you out.

Skinless: Yes, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Merton: What's your name?

Skinless: They call me Mike.

Merton: Really? It's not Gorshalk or Davlek of the Whatnot Clan?

Mike: No, just Mike.

Merton: Now don't let my calm exterior fool you, I am still very creeped out by this whole thing, so I think rather than risk my physical endangerment, I'm just gonna ask you to leave.

Mike: Leave?

Merton: Yeah. You're free now and there's a whole wide world for you to explore and find some skin in.

Mike: I'm afraid I can't do that.

Merton: I thought so.

Mike: I know, I'm inside your mind and I know what you would do to me if I left.

Merton: I don't know what you're talking about.

Mike: You and your wolf friend would hunt me down and kill me simply because I'm slightly more demon than your normal Joe.

Merton: You think we're that intolerant?

Mike: I know it.

Merton: Damn.

Mike: Don't worry, I don't take it personally. You're human and you have your prejudice.

Merton: Well that's just great that you understand. I'm just gonna…

He backs out of the bathroom.

Merton: Bye.

Merton leaves and closes the door.

INT: Hallway

Merton comes out of the bathroom and runs into Mike who is standing outside it.

Merton: Ah!

Mike: Hi Merton.

Merton: Hi.

Mike: You'll learn to accept me in time.

Mike takes Merton by the shoulder and leads him of screen.

INT: Containment Cell

Strangler sits in his cell away from the scientist who keeps watch. The scientist talks to a man in a suit with gray hair who appears on a flat screen computer on the scientist's desk. You may remember him from Episode 8: Werewolves versus Modern Science as the evil looking figure head.

Figure Head: How is our boy doing?
Scientist: Just fine sir. He's exhibiting all the classic signs of possession. We are performing every required test as you ordered.

Figure Head: How is he responding?

Scientist: Just as we expected. We may just have a breakthrough here sir; life after death is only shortly behind.

Figure Head: Oh, cut the dramatics.

Scientist: Yes sir.

Figure Head: I'll get back to you if there's any more information.

Scientist: Signing off.

He clicks off the computer screen and looks back at the Strangler. We now see that the Strangler is concentrating on something rather hard. The scientist taps on the glass.

Scientist: Hello?

The Strangler forces a stream of light purple energy from his mouth, but looses control and it shoots back in. He smiles at the small accomplishment.

INT: Tommy's Living Room

Tommy walks into his living room carrying a pizza.

Tommy: Hey Dean.

Dean: Hey Tommy.

Dean remembers something.

Tommy: Oh, I need to talk to you about something.

Tommy sits down on the couch next to Dean's chair.

Tommy: What do you need?

Dean: I had a talk with…is that a pizza?
Tommy: Yeah, I brought it home for you, here.

Tommy tosses the pizza to Dean and he begins to eat it immediately.

Tommy: So what did you want to talk to me about?

Dean: Huh?

Tommy: You said we needed to talk.

Dean: Oh, that wasn't really important.

Tommy: Okay.

Tommy gets up and starts to go upstairs.

Dean: Oh yeah, your friend Lori stopped over

Tommy comes back downstairs.

Tommy: What did she want?

Dean: She needed to talk to you about something.

Tommy: You know, that's kind of a thing you say at the beginning of the conversation.

Dean (Holding up the pizza): I was busy.

Tommy: Okay man, enjoy the third lunch, I gotta go.

Tommy walks out the door.

Dean (A tad offended): It's only my second, thank you.

EXT: The Lair

Merton comes up to his door and puts the key in the lock.

INT: The Lair

Merton runs up into the Lair and goes straight for the book cabinet. He looks through his books, trying to find a particular one.

Merton: Where is it? Where is it?

Mike pops into existence, teleporting onto the chair in a sitting position.

Mike: Try the top shelf, third from the left.

Merton: You can stop that now.

Mike: Stop what?
Merton: You know, the knowing stuff about me.

Mike: I can't help it, we share one mind now.

Merton: And that just sounds gross.

Mike: I never thought about it but it kinda does.

Merton looks up the book in the place Mike suggested and pulls it out. He opens it on the desk and turns to a page in the middle. The heading of the page reads "Hitchers" and two pictures show various monsters, on of a floating worm and one of someone a lot like Mike.

Merton: I thought I saw you somewhere before.

Mike appears just behind Merton.

Mike: It isn't really a flattering picture, is it.

Merton: Like he could make your face pretty.

Mike: That's not nice.

Merton: Well…

Merton looks over and Mike has disappeared.

Merton: Hello?

He looks to his right and Mike shoots up behind him.

Merton: You gone?
Mike: No.

Merton looks to him and Mike walks into Merton, going through his body and hiding inside it. Merton suddenly grows veins in his face and eyes.

Merton: Hey!

Mike's voice speaks as if from no where.

Mike: Just relax, let it seep in.

Merton: This feels kinda different.

Mike (Within Merton): It always does, you'll get used to it.

Merton: Have there been others?
Mike (Within Merton): Only a few. I'm sick of being cooped up in here, let's go out.

Merton: Sure, I need some fresh air anyway.

Merton walks out of the Lair with a creepy euphoric look on his face

INT: Werewolf Syndicate, Deirdre's Study

Allister walks in the door as Deirdre gets up.

Allister: You wanted to see me boss?

Deirdre: Yes, I need you to go out and do a spell for me.

Allister: What kind do you need? Illusion, Transmogrification, Conjuring?
Deirdre: Just a simple illusion will do. All the specs are in here.

She hands him an envelope and he starts to leave.

Deirdre: Aren't you gonna read it first to see if you have what you need?
Allister: I got it all right here (pointing to his forehead).

Allister leaves.

INT: Factory

Lori drinks at the bar for possibly the last time. She slams an empty drink down on the table upside down and signals for another.

Lori: So how you doing Phil?

Phil (From behind the bar): I'm always good.

Lori: That's good.

Phil slides her another drink and she downs it.

EXT: Lori's Hotel Room

Tommy comes up to Lori's door and knocks on it. He waits a few seconds and knocks again. Getting no answer, he walks away down the strip of rooms. He passes by Allison's room while walking and she comes out of it a few seconds later. She automatically sees Tommy and goes back in. Tommy looks back to see a door slam closed.

INT: Allison's Hotel Room

Allison runs in to see Gideon clearing the dinner table after a meal. He's acting very normal despite the fact that we can assume they just ate a person.

Allison: Okay, I just saw Tommy outside our door a second ago. We have to get out of here.

Gideon: But I just got everything put away.

Allison: We have to move. I don't think he saw me but he was definitely here for something important.

Gideon: I doubt he knows anything. There's no rush. But if you really want to go out, I'm up for it.

Allison: This isn't a night out on the town, we have to flee for our safety.

Gideon: But what's the fun in fleeing if you can't party a little?

Allison: Okay, I didn't want to mention it but I think having a body has kinda gotten to your head.

Gideon: You think?

Allison: Come on, we'll come back for the scrolls later when the heat dies down.

Gideon: Your talking like we're on the run from the law or something.

Allison: Well, we are, sort of.

Gideon: No laws can touch us now. You have to learn that.

Allison: Fine, I will while fleeing.

Gideon: I still don't think it's that big of a deal.

Allison: Then humor me.

INT: Factory

Lori is looking out on the dance floor at all the happy couples dancing together. She looks down at her empty glass and sighs, slamming it down on the table.

Lori: What's my tab up to?

Phil: Forget it.

Lori: Thanks man.

Lori gets up from the bar and heads for the door. She exits the door just as Merton comes in (it is timed just so that they don't notice each other). The veins in Merton's face re hardly noticeable.

Merton comes up and sits at the stool Lori was sitting at and notices a girl at the end of the bar.

Merton: Get me a drink Phil.

Phil: Coming up.

Merton: No, make that two.

Phil: What do you want?
Merton: Does it matter, I mean they're all the same drinks aren't they?

Phil: Fair enough.

Phil slides him two very similar drinks.

Merton: Thanks man.

Merton gets up and goes over to the girl. Over at another table, Becky sits watching him. From her perspective it appears that Merton is acting very suave and the girl seems interested, which makes Becky very suspicious. Over by Merton, we see Mike is standing behind him, coaching him on. Mike simply thinks something and Merton says it.

Merton: So I was thinking we could maybe go for a walk in the park; it's beautiful tonight. Well, it's beautiful every night but tonight especially.

Girl: I don't know.

Merton: Come on, it'll be fun.

Tommy comes into the Factory and sits at Becky's table.

Tommy: Hey Becky, how you doing?

Becky: Tommy, do you see anything strange about Merton?

Tommy: "Hey Tommy, I'm fine, how are you?"

Becky: Sorry.

Tommy: What am I supposed to be seeing?

She points over to Merton and the girl.

Becky: Look at that.

Tommy: What? He's talking to a girl.

Becky: How often does he do that?

Tommy: Well, not that often.

Becky: And look how calm and cool he is. He should be drooling on himself by now.

Tommy: I taught him some of my moves. The drooling thing's one of them.

Becky: Really?

Tommy: To not do it.

Becky: It's not just that, this morning at lunch he snapped at me. He looked like he was ready to hit me.

Tommy: He's angry, I would be too if my girlfriend turned into an evil werewolf. Actually I'd be happy I have a girlfriend and then I'd be angry about the werewolf thing.

Becky: But he just found out about Allison and look at him. Isn't this a little too fast for him to be picking up new girls?

Tommy: He needs a rebound. When Lori left me I had Tori, but I realized it wasn't a meaningful relationship and cut it off.

Becky: I think this is more than that.

Tommy: What, is it another clone?
Becky: Could it be?
Tommy: No, the monsters aren't usually that unimaginative.

Becky: Maybe he didn't die.

Tommy: We all saw it. There is no way he's alive.

Becky: Well something's up.

Tommy: I really think this is something you need to let go.

Becky didn't hear the end of that sentence as she got up and started walking over to Merton. Over by him, the conversation continues.

Girl: But, I have a boyfriend.

Merton: He probably wouldn't mind, I know the guy, he'd be cool with it.

Girl: I'm really sorry, I gotta go.

The girl gets up off the stool and walks away. Merton's face drops. He gets an idea and runs after her. He passes by Becky and slightly pushes her aside.

Merton: Excuse me.

Merton skips off after the girl. Tommy walks up to Becky looking out at where Merton left.

Tommy: Come to think of it, that was kind of weird.

Becky: That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Tommy: Let's go to the Lair, Merton can help us look for something…

Tommy catches himself.

Tommy: Let's go.

Tommy and Becky run off.

EXT: Park, Dusk

The girl from the Factory is walking down the sidewalk when she hears a noise and looks around.

Girl: Hello?

She keeps walking until another noise startles her.


Girl: Is someone there.

Merton jumps in front of her from a tree and she jumps in shock. The veins on his face have returned and he has grown slight fangs.

Merton: It's just me baby.

Girl: Get away from me.

Merton: Oh, that's not nice. We just want to be friends.

Merton lunges at the girl and knocks her to the ground. Merton lands on top of her and is about to slam his fist into her face when he senses something. He looks around and into the park. Merton's vision shoots far into the park and sees Allison running through. Merton stands up and looks out, Mike appearing behind him.

Merton: What do you think?

Mike: I don't know, I really liked the other girl.

Said girl is crawling away.

Merton: That could be fun.

Mike: Too many bad memories.

Merton: Oh come on.

Merton gets up from the girl and runs off after Allison. The girl gets up and holds her head in pain, which was hit when she fell.

INT: Containment Cell

Strangler sits in his cell, looking out at the scientist.

Scientist: You doing okay in there, Strangler?

The Strangler smiles and then starts to convulse on the floor of his room. The scientist quickly gets up and goes over to the glass.

Scientist: What's wrong?

The Strangler slams up against the glass, startling the scientist.

Strangler: Help…me.

Scientist: What can I do?

Strangler: You can walk me out of here.

The scientist realizes his fault too late as Strangler shoots his light purple essence from his mouth and into the scientist's (I hate it when that happens, seriously). The Strangler, now in the scientist's body, stands upright and starts to walk out.

Strangler (to the now normal Agent Smith): Have fun in there man, I know I did.

The Strangler uses the scientist's ID to open the door and leaves.

INT: Sterile Lobby

The Strangler walks out of the door leading to the Containment Cell and right up to the guard, another man in a black suit and sunglasses.

Guard: Hey doctor, you need to sign out?

The guard hands him a clipboard but the Strangler grabs him by the neck. The ghost passes through to the guard and he stands up. The Strangler, now in the guard's body, pulls a gun from his holster and aims it at the scientist.

EXT: Last Street Out of Town, Dusk

Lori is driving down the road, passing a Now Leaving Pleasantville sign. A sappy love song plays on her radio and she is once again holding back tears. She passes by another sign, which says Now Entering Pleasantville and she stops the van. She puts the car in reverse and drives back to the original sign. The sign says Now Leaving Pleasantville. She drives up to the next sign but we don't see it this time. Lori gets out of the car and goes over to the sign which now reads: Go See Your Boyfriend, Stupid!

Lori: You know, I think this may be a sign.

Lori gets back in the car and drives away. Just as she goes, Allister comes out from behind the sign (obviously through some magical means as she would have seen him hiding otherwise).

Allister: Freaking hick town.

Allister walks away.

Allister: I don't know why she wants this chick anyway.

INT: The Lair


Tommy and Becky enter the Lair and find the sacred circle and incense and stuff all around.

Becky: What is this stuff?
Tommy: This must be what Merton was working on this morning.

Becky: It seems pretty bad voodoo-ish to me.

Tommy goes up to the desk and picks up the book Merton was reading.

Tommy: It is.

Becky: What's that?

Tommy: A book Merton was reading. It talks about the hazards of cross-dimensional travel.

Becky: Merton tried to cross dimensions?

Tommy: It looks like it.

Becky: How can you tell?

Tommy holds up a piece of paper with a list on it and a big yellow book marked Crossing Dimensions for Dummies.

Tommy: Cross Dimensional Checklist: sacred circle, burning incense, eww wolf's blood (substitute gerbil or hamster). That is gross.

Becky: This sounds dangerous. Why would Merton want to do this?

Tommy: I don't know, but I think I'm gonna find out.

Becky: You're not gonna do the spell.

Tommy: I am gonna do the spell.

Becky: We're trying to figure out if anything happen to Merton, we can't play detective if your whacked out too.

Tommy: It looks pretty easy, he has all the instructions right here.

Becky: It could be dangerous.

Tommy: It's perfectly safe, just as long as I don't run into this guy.

Becky: What guy?

Tommy holds up the book Merton was reading and points to Mike's picture.

Tommy: Personally, I like skin on my monsters.

Becky: Who is that?

Tommy: It doesn't say. All it says is it's a hitcher, a parasitic demon who tags along with travelers through dimensions.

Becky: Is that a risk?
Tommy: Apparently not a big one, it says here that it never really happens anymore.

Becky: But can we really take that chance, given our track record?

Tommy: We have to.

EXT: Park, Ultra Dusk, Almost Night

Allison carefully trudges through the woods.

Allison: Come on boss, don't lag behind.

She looks back and Gideon is gone.

Allison: Dammit, where did you run off to?

Merton jumps in front of Allison and she jumps in shock.

Merton: Hey beautiful.

Allison: Merton?

Merton: In the flesh, at least most of it.

Allison: Okay, where is he?

Merton: Who?

Allison: You know who, Tommy.

Merton: Tommy's a little busy at the moment.

Allison: You're alone?
Merton: Not exactly.

Merton grabs Allison by the neck and throws her into a tree.

Allison: What the…

Merton: Shhh! The man is talking now.

Merton comes up to her and pulls her hair back away from her face.

Merton: So pretty…let's see what we can do about that.

INT: Mausoleum

The secret room is open and someone is searching through it.

Strangler (Off Screen): Dammit, where are they?

The Strangler, in the guard's body, walks out into the main room and punches the wall in anger.

Strangler: I can't believe they took my work! Scratch that, I can believe it. Those military bastards will pay for this.

The Strangler starts to walk out until he notices something. He runs over to the corner of the room and picks up the knife that Allison used to stab Tommy, still stained with blood.

Strangler: I don't remember this from my collection.

He licks the knife clean and a look of realization crosses his face.

Strangler: You!

The Strangler runs out of the Mausoleum.

EXT: Park, Night

Merton is still looking on as Allison tries to squirm out of his grip. Merton appears to have gained some super strength from his demon friend, who coincidentally appears behind him.

Mike: You know, you were right Merton. This is much more fun than a stranger.

Merton: All the crap you hate about a person just comes flooding back.

Allison: What?

Merton: What do you think we should do with her?

Mike: Creativity and imagination are virtues of the human mind, think of something.

Allison: Who are you talking to?

Merton: Creativity is a little too complex.

Merton lifts up one hand and the fingers grow into claws.

Merton: I'm feeling a little simple right about now.

Merton claws at Allison but she moves her head and his claw goes right into the tree. Allison bursts out of his grip and runs off.

Merton (ripping his hand out): Ooh, feisty.

INT: The Lair

Tommy sits Indian style inside the sacred circle and hums.

Becky: Uh Tommy, it's time for your…addition.

Tommy: I don't want to, can't you just kill the hamster?
Becky: I am not killing the hamster.

Tommy: Oh but you're perfectly fine with cutting me up.

Becky: Don't be such a baby.

Becky cuts Tommy's hand with a letter opener. He winces as his blood drips into a bowl outside the circle.

Becky: Now say your lines

Tommy: Okay…Hear me council. Heed my words. Grant me the audience I seek.

The world around Tommy starts to fade away and he opens his eyes to find that he is now in…

INT: Blue Universe

Tommy looks on as the shadowy fates come into view.

Tommy: Hello?

Shadow 1: Who dares desecrate our holy temple?

Tommy: I dare, I mean I do.

The first shadow flies right up to Tommy and he flinches a little bit.

Shadow 1: A werewolf?

The other shadows fly in.

Shadow 2: An unholy beast has entered this sacred place!

Shadow 3: We must take action!

Tommy: Whoa, hold up. I'm here because I need your help.

Shadow 1: What could a creature of such evil possibly need from us?

Tommy: That's not very nice man. I need your help because my friend may be in danger.

Shadow 2: Werewolves have no friends, only kills, only death!

Shadow 3: He's lying! Kill him!

Shadow 1: Who is this friend, werewolf?

Tommy: He's a human, you may have met him, his name is Merton.

Shadow 2: We know no Merton!

Tommy: He used this spell to summon you this morning.

Shadow 3: Time has no meaning here.

Tommy: Just calm down and listen to me.

Shadow 2: Who are you to make demands?

Tommy grabs the second shadow and holds him down.

Tommy: I'm the guy that's about to crush you into oblivion if you don't help me.

Shadow 2: Werewolves are creatures of evil, we will never help you!

Tommy: Merton is in trouble. We think he might have picked up a hitcher.

Shadow 1: No hitchers are missing, there is no way one could have escaped us.

Tommy: Are you sure?
Shadow 1: We are never wrong.

Shadow 3: Wait, your statement is incorrect.

Shadow 1: The insolence.

Shadow 3: A hitcher has escaped during the last cycle.

Tommy: I thought you said time had no meaning here.

Shadow 2: It's complicated.

Shadow 3: It is Mike, Mike has escaped.

Shadow 1: That is absurd.

Shadow 3: It is true.

Tommy: So Merton did pick this guy up?

Shadow 3: He has crossed over to your world.

Tommy: What is Mike?

Shadow 3: Mike is a demon, from the lower circle, he feeds on humans by bonding psychically with them.

Tommy: I need to help Merton, how can I kill this hitcher?

Shadow 2: Yes of course, killing is all you understand.

Tommy: Is there any way?

Shadow 1: The only way for Mike to be defeated is for his host to reject him. If this Merton has contracted Mike's sickness, he must give it up himself.

Tommy: Okay, how do I find him?

Shadow 1: You must tap into your own senses. Any werewolf can track a being of Mike's power.

Tommy: But I can't.

Shadow 2: Than you are worthless!

Tommy: I wouldn't be calling me worthless if I were you.

Shadow 3: Bring the hitcher back to us, before he destroys your friend and your world.

The world quickly fades away and we are left in…

INT: The Lair

Tommy gets up from the sacred circle.

Tommy: We have to find Merton.

Becky: What do you mean, you were only out for like a second.

Tommy: I'll explain on the way. Let's go.

Tommy and Becky run out of the door.

EXT: Park, Night

The girl from the Factory walks down the sidewalk, bleeding from her wounds. She stops when someone in front of her off screen comes up.

Voice (off screen): Hello there.

The girl appears frightened. She is pulled off screen by two hairy arms.

EXT: Graveyard, Night

Merton runs through the graveyard, presumably to catch up to Allison. He jumps up onto a large gravestone with catlike agility. Mike walks through the path and leans up against the gravestone.

Mike: Having fun?

Merton: I'm starting to like this feeling, like when you touch a doorknob when on a rug, only with hurting people too.

Mike: I told you you'd get used to it.

Merton jumps off of the gravestone and breaks into another run.

EXT: Park, Night

The Strangler runs through the park, stopping every few seconds to pick up the scent of something he's tracking.

Strangler: You are very close, Tommy Dawkins.

He continues to run.

EXT: Street, Night

Tommy and Becky are running down the street.

Becky: So did these fates tell you how to find Merton?
Tommy: They said to tap into my werewolf senses.

Becky: How do they expect you to do that?

Tommy: I don't know.

Becky: Well, try it.

Tommy stops and closes his eyes and concentrates. All sound is cut away and Tommy is calm. Suddenly his eyes open and his view changes. Tommy's POV: Tommy starts to run on all four legs into town until he comes up to the Hungry Bucket where Merton is hassling the counter girl. The POV rewinds until it goes back to where Tommy was standing. The view goes back to Tommy and Becky standing on the street.

Tommy: I think I know where he is.

Becky: He's at the Hungry Bucket.

Tommy: How did you…?

Becky: Look.

Becky points to a mob of people running away from the Hungry Bucket as Merton jumps up onto a table.

Becky: Let's move.

Tommy and Becky run off.

EXT: Hungry Bucket, Night

Tommy and Becky run into the Hungry Bucket (which is still an exterior because it is an outside restaurant) and find Merton hassling the counter girl.

Tommy: Merton, stop that!

Merton: Hey Tommy, what's up man?

Merton has the veins, fangs, and claws as Tommy looks at him in revulsion.

Becky: What happened to you?

Merton: I made a new friend.

Mike appears behind Merton.

Tommy: Merton, Mike is not your friend.

Mike: He's lying.

Merton: Your lying.

Tommy: No I'm not, Merton. He's bad for you; he's feeding off of you.

Merton: That's not true.

Tommy: Just look at yourself. You're a monster.

Mike: I think you look just cool, I'd never call you a monster.

Merton: I'm not a monster.

Tommy: Well he is.

Becky: Merton, trust him, you've got monster coming off you in waves.

Merton: Benedict Arnold.

Becky: Merton, listen to me. I don't want to hurt you and neither does Tommy.

Merton: Than don't.

Tommy: You're not giving us much of a choice.

Tommy wolfs out and bears his fangs.

Merton: Bring it on.

Tommy: You got it buddy.

They both jump into battle. Before either of them throw a first punch, Strangler comes up with a gun drawn.

Strangler: Freeze, FBI!

Mike: Time to hide.

Mike jumps into Merton and he grows horns.

Merton: Wow. That's a rush.

Strangler: Everybody just stay where they are.

He aims the gun at Tommy.

Tommy: Whoa, hold up. I didn't do anything the FBI needs to investigate.

Strangler: Actually, I don't know if I'm FBI exactly, I'm just guessing.

Tommy: You got the gun working for you.

Strangler: I've been waiting for this for a long time Tommy Dawkins.

Tommy: What did I do?

Strangler: You stole my scrolls.

Tommy: I don't know anything about any scrolls.

Strangler points the gun with intent. Merton looks on at this exchange. A look of remorse flashes across his face and he leaps at Strangler.

Merton: I don't think so.

Strangler: No! Don't touch me!

Merton grabs the Strangler and the ghost passes to Merton. Merton backs up in pain.

Merton: This is different.

Merton's face transforms into Mike's, then into the original strangler (the old man from the real episode), and then back to the hornless, veinless Merton.

Merton: A little help please, Tommy?

Tommy: What can I do?

Merton: Get out of the way!

Merton pushes Tommy out of the way just as a missile of light purple energy shoots out Merton's chest and back into the black suited agent, who just got up from the recent shock to his system.


Strangler (now in agent body): Damn. Of all the crap I have to go through…

The Strangler runs off.

Merton starts to convulse as a ghostly Mike evaporates out of him and into the atmosphere. Merton and Tommy look at each other.

Tommy: That was…

Merton: Bizarre.

Merton falls to the ground, unconscience. Tommy walks up and picks him up, slinging him over his shoulder.

Tommy: Come on buddy, you've had a pretty big day.

They all walk away from the end of the battle scene.

INT: Blue Universe

Mike appears in the sacred circle with the fates coming out of the darkness.

Shadow 1: Welcome home.
Mike: Damn.

INT: The Lair

Tommy, Merton, and Becky are sitting in the Lair. Merton is rubbing his head.

Becky: So you didn't see anything while the demon was in control?

Merton: No, it was almost like a total blackout. I only remember small pieces. Did I do anything too horrible?

Tommy: Not really, mostly mildly evil stuff.

Merton: Good thing.

Tommy: At least you pulled it out in the end.

Merton: What do you mean?

Tommy: You jumped in before that guy shot me.

Merton: Actually I remember that part. I was kinda gunning to kill you first.

Tommy: Oh.

Becky: So what else do you remember from it?

Merton: Allison.

Tommy: You talked to her?
Merton: Yeah, I think I might have roughed her up a bit too.

Becky: What is she still doing here? I'd think she'd be pretty scared to stay in town.

Merton: I don't think so, she's really not scared at all.

Tommy: So what have we learned today Merton?

Merton: No magic spells that could have horrible repercussions.

Tommy: Very good. Now I gotta go.

Merton: See ya Tommy.

Tommy exits the Lair.

Becky: So what was it really like?
Merton: I told you, I don't remember a lot of it.

Becky: Oh come on, you were possessed by a demon, you have to remember something.

Merton: Do you?

Becky: Do I what?

Merton: Do you remember anything from when you were possessed?

Becky: I was never possessed.

Merton: I gotta burst your bubble on that one.

Becky: Merton, we have to talk about something else.

Merton: Oh, can't this wait till tomorrow?

Becky: No it can't.

Merton: Fine.

Becky: Merton, I know your worried about me fighting with you guys because of what happened to Allison but you don't have to worry. I'm good at it and I can brawl with the best of them.

Merton: Yeah, Allison could too.

Becky: That's not gonna happen with me.

Merton: What makes you so sure?

Becky pulls a bag of some brown herbs from her pocket.

Becky: I keep this in my pocket at all times.

Merton: Wolfsbane, how do you know about this?

Becky: I've been reading up.

Merton: You kick ass.

Becky: That's what I keep trying to tell you.

INT: Werewolf Syndicate, Deirdre's Study

Allister barges in the door and sits in the chair facing Deirdre's desk.

Deirdre: Hello Allister.

Allister: Good evening boss, and what a fabulous evening it is.

Deirdre: You're in a rather chipper mood.

Allister: Yep, the only thing that could possibly make my day better is a large pile of money in my hand.

Deirdre: Did you do what I asked?

Allister: Your seer isn't leaving town anytime soon. I'll keep making sure just in case.

Deirdre: Good.

She tosses him a wad of bills.

Deirdre: It is a fabulous evening, isn't it?
Allister: Is my implant secure?

Deirdre: I performed the ritual correctly.

Allister: Trust me, you'll love that little thing.

Deirdre: If it does everything you say it does, I'm sure I will.

EXT: Tommy's House, Night

Close up on the back of Tommy's neck, which displays the small runic tattoo. Tommy opens the door and walks in.

INT: Tommy's Living Room

Tommy walks into the living room and finds Lori waiting for him.

Lori: Hey Tommy.

EXT: Highway, Night

The Strangler runs up to a truck he has hailed over. The door opens and he looks in to see the driver look over. The Strangler opens his mouth and a light purple energy flows from his mouth to the truckers. The Strangler, now in the trucker's body, floors the truck and it drives away, leaving the government agent confused and alone.

INT: Allison's Hotel Room

Allison runs into the room.

Allison: Boss? Did you get home okay?

Allison looks over at the kitchen table to see Gideon with the girl from the Factory lying dead on a platter. The table is set up like a romantic dinner for two.

Gideon: I hope you don't mind but I prepared some food for us.

Allison sits down at the table, looking on at the main dish with a mixture of delight and disgust.

Gideon: Bon Appetite.

THE END

Next Episode: Zombies invade a shopping mall in a campy throw back to cult horror films. While the original gang fights for their lives and heals some old wounds, Becky meets Deirdre and finds out a little bit about the Werewolf Syndicate.