Title: Summer Rain 13/?

Author: Emily

Rating: PG 13

Category: Spike/Dawn

Email: pipergal33@yahoo.co.uk

Disclaimer: Joss and all with the power at Mutant Enemy. They killed Tara! She's alive and well here though, no fake magic addictions in this story, no bad deaths, oh no. But wasn't 'Seeing Red' great? Painful and horrible as it was, wasn't it great? This is the show I love.

Distribution: Lil' Nibblin, LNABB, Spike/Dawn lists, SU, ff.net, anywhere else, sure but email me first.

Spoilers: The Gift, Bargaining.

Feedback: It's *essential*. *sob whimper I freaking miss Tara*

Dedication: To everyone who's feedbacked me, at ff.net and by email. Thank you!

AN: If you're a Spike/Dawn fan hop on over to Shippers United (http://pub97.ezboard.com/bshippersunite) and post under the UC ships forum in the Spike/Dawn thread, enough people post and we'll get our own forum. I'd love to see some of you there, my id is pipergal33 so say hi :) And if you mention I referred you I'll get power :)

AN2: Sorry it's been a while with new parts. The good news is I finally figured where I'm going with this story and there are only one or two parts to go.



~Summer Rain~



Part 13



I shivered a little. Visiting woods in the cold dark night is just a bad idea. But bringing Buffy back from the dead? That's a worse idea and so I guess we have to be visiting woods in the cold dark night. I ran a couple of steps to catch up with Spike who was striding ahead in that vampire walk.

My feet stopped as I heard voices towards my left. Chanting. Oh no. I started to mentally count how many times I've thought 'oh no' recently but this really isn't the time.

" Do you hear that?" I asked him nervously.

Spike tilted his head to the side listening. " That ominous chanting noise? Sounds a hell of a lot like Red?"

I nodded.

He pushed violently through the trees and I followed.

Oh no. Must be the billionth time I've thought that but right then not caring so much. They were sitting in a circle, Anya, Willow, Tara and Xander by the gravestone. Something hit me hard then because that was my sister underneath the ground. That was her gravestone right in front of me. I'm reminded once more of how she's gone. I glanced across at Spike and saw a similar look in his eyes. Similar but different. That look that shows he's in love with Buffy was all over his face and I sighed.

" Willow!" Anya said as she looks up and sees us, looking oh so guilty. And so she should. She nudged Willow's arm and I gasped as I looked at Willow. There was cuts running down her arms and her eyes had turned black in that serious bad ass Wicca way.

Tara shook her head. " She's deep in the spell."

" Then get her out of it" Spike demanded roughly.

" But Buffy…" Xander started to protest.

" Forget Buffy. You're not bringing her back. I don't know what the bloody hell possessed you lot to do this but you have to stop. She's gone. Deal with it."

Harsh words and I saw it hurt them. Especially Xander. Willow was so out of it with the spell that she hadn't even noticed our presence. I'd be lying to say that hearing Spike say that didn't cut me to the bone too. And the bitterness in his voice? Don't even go there.

" Tara, you told me this was wrong when I tried to bring back Mom. How can it be right now?" I asked, looking at her.

" It's not." She said softly in reply, her eyes not meeting mine. " It never was. But we decided to do it. It's what Willow wanted, what we wanted. Buffy was killed by mystical energy and we don't know where she is."

I frowned. " What, you mean you guys think she's in hell?" Oh God. The thought never crossed my mind and it doesn't sound real to me now. How could it be? This is Buffy, my sister. And sure she killed things but not people. Not the good kind. She wouldn't go to hell. She was the Slayer for godsakes, she *helped* people.

Tara looked down. " We don't know" She repeated.

I started to shake my head. " No. She's not. I… I think we would know if she wasn't okay"

" Get her out of this" Spike said again gesturing towards Willow. "Or I'll do it."

He didn't give Tara or any of them a chance to answer. Spike started to shake Willow then. He shook her hard and she finally noticed that we're here. Her eyes flashed black and she pushed against Spike, her nails scratching him.

" No! The spell." She protested, as the cuts in her arm fade. " Stop it. I have to finish the spell"

Suddenly without warning Willow sent out a bolt of magical power knocking Spike aside. It was blue and as bright as sparks from a fire. He flew backwards, hitting the ground hard and I heard him curse under his breath. Willow gasped, mostly in surprise at herself I think, and the cuts healed fully, her eyes changing to regular Willow colour. They darted across the clearing to where Spike was lying, then to me, and then Tara.

She got up, shaking. The spell's over before it got finished and instead of looking angry she just looked sad. Like she's about to cry.

" It's okay, sweetie" Tara said gently, standing up and then putting her arms around Willow. She does cry and I can only make out snatches of words. The whole thing seemed intensely private so I looked away, feeling awkward. Eavesdropping seemed completely inappropriate and rude. Anya blew out her candle and Xander got up, stretching a hand to help her up. She dusted off her jeans for mud, practically and methodically. I didn't know how she could be so calm.

I glanced at the grave. I didn't want to but I didn't think I could deal with looking at Spike. I looked at it and I could almost imagine a stirring under the ground and then a settling and a kind of peace. Stopping this was the right thing to do. I didn't realise how hard it was to do it until now though. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we'd been here a few minutes later. Maybe a part of me wishes we had but I ignore that part of me just as I've learned to ignore the part of me that constantly thinks about Spike. It's done now. She was already gone, it shouldn't feel like we've lost her again. Looking at Willow, crying against Tara though and Anya and Xander leaning on each other for support, holding hands, it felt that way.

Then I looked at Spike. He was looking at the gravestone and has that look again. I hate that look. Sounds childish and it is but I do. I hate déjà vu as well and right now I remember everything about the night she died. Everyone's faces. Having to walk down the steps of that tower, suddenly alone. Her words to me. All of it. The memories began to choke me and I turned away from it all. The woods were dark but somehow inviting. Like I could get lost in them and never have to go back. I walked slowly into them away from everyone and I didn't mind that they don't notice I'm gone. Right then I wanted to be gone.