When You Least Expect It
*part 4
By Sakata Ri Houjun
AN: Still more Alexander to make up for the lost screen time he didn't get in earlier chapters. I figured this was a good time to delve a bit into his character, going into my take as to why he loves anime and video games so much. I don't know the exact reason, so I may be off on details, especially since I didn't design the guy in the first place. Little tidbits of info like this are obscure since he is such a minor character, even by Watase's standards.
I've been told that Mousse seems a little out of character as I write more of this story. That might be mainly due to the fact that I'm not well versed in my Ranma lore, as I should be. Chichiri and Alex I know inside and out, as they are two of my favorite characters, while the Amazon is still brand new to my harem.
Again, this would be a good time to remind those of you reading this that this story is just a piece of insane fun that developed between Hikari and myself, and therefore is not meant to be taken to heart. Especially since she and I are both avid Tasuki/Chichiri fans and that Alex is my personal plaything.
~***~
~Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think~
~***~
"Kitchen is done, deshi," Alex happily announced as he entered the main dining area of the Nekohanten.
"Good," Mousse replied as he smirked at the blonde scientist turned short-order cook. "That means you can now help Chichiri and me clean up in here."
The cerulean-haired monk only shook his head as he chuckled, his attention returning to wiping off the tables with his towel. The rest of the working day had passed by so quickly and smoothly, Cologne having no problems whatsoever with the newcomer's help, especially with Chichiri's endorsement.
And with three capable young men to take care of things, Cologne decided to leave earlier than planned, Shampoo accompanying her again. Mousse had been a bit disappointed at that, but between Chichiri's antics while waiting tables and Alex's positive attitude in the kitchen, the Amazon found himself having fun for once while working his usually dreary tasks.
In fact, the biggest surprise of all was that Alex seemed to have a knack for cooking, even though he had never once set foot inside a kitchen before in his life except to boil water for instant ranmen at his own place back in Tokyo.
But that didn't stop the blonde gaijin from happily picking up a broom and sweeping underneath the tables, a cheerful grin on his face as he began to hum some vague tune, rather off key*. Mousse watched Alex's cheerfulness for a few more moments; his head tilted at an angel to express his sudden confusion at the overly positive attitude that was maintained, even after they had brought in the Nekohanten sign for the evening.
After a minute, the scientist looked up, his tune halting. "Nani? Am I doing this wrong, deshi?"
Mousse shook his head. "Iie. It's just strange."
"What is, no da?" Chichiri questioned, joining in on the conversation while continuing his task of cleaning the tabletops.
"Just that for someone who was earlier a tad upset over not having anything worthwhile to report about, Alex sure seems to be happy to be here."
"Of course I am, deshi," he exclaimed in protest. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Mousse may be right in wondering, no da. Alex, what reason do you have to be so happy in doing menial work, na no da? It doesn't add up considering you came all this way to locate a certain type of celestial descendant but only found us, no da."
Alex's smile only grew marginally wider. "Because in the few hours I spent working here, I've had the honor of monitoring your powers and skills firsthand, deshi. Even though I know the true origin of yours and Mousse's amazing abilities, it fascinates me to no end, deshi. It's like being in the middle of an anime series."
Chichiri blinked in confusion. He had minor dealings with the term anime before, when Miaka had shown various books and pictures she had brought from her world. She explained as best she could, answering the monk's questions about the strange characters, although it didn't make much sense to him at the time then. "You really must like anime more than the miko ever did, no da."
"Of course," Alex exclaimed happily as he continued to sweep the floor. "Anime is my life. Well, that and video games as well, but it's all within the same genre, deshi. But still, that's why I left the US office branch of Mikage Intl., and came to Japan. Well, that and Kagami was offering me an exuberant amount of money, but that's only secondary, deshi. Not that I couldn't find rare anime videos with my wide range of connections among which were-"
The gaijin's words were suddenly cut short by Mousse who had leapt across the table that was between them, one hand clamping firmly around the older man's mouth. Alex looked up in surprise as the Amazon's blue eyes glared towards the astonished monk. "Chichiri, I've had some dealings with this type before, and the best thing to do in such situations is to simply refrain from bringing up the one subject they're obsessed over, else they won't shut up."
The cerulean-haired man nodded in affirmation. "I'll try to remember that, no da."
The scientist pulled away from Mousse's grasp then, slightly perturbed. "Was that really necessary, deshi?"
The raven-haired youth did not answer until he was safely back on his original side of the table, retrieving his towel to continue wiping down the chair backs. "Of course," he deadpanned.
A moment of silence passed before Chichiri suddenly burst into laughter, trying in vain to muffle the sound behind his hand. Mousse was also trying to maintain his straight face but chuckling nonetheless.
Alex blinked twice, not knowing whether he should be angry or laugh along with his friends. But even he could not ignore the shared mirth, knowing full well that he had looked the part of a baka, babbling on like that about his favorite thing in the world. It would have been worse if either of his new friends had brought up the name Shiori. If that had happened, then God knew where he would have stopped.
It was Chichiri, whose laughter died away first, wiping the tears from his remaining eye before he spoke. "Honestly Alex, why do you find our abilities so fascinating, no da?"
"Indeed," Mousse added after taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down and removing his glasses to dab a sleeve to his eyes. "I've been wondering the same thing myself."
The gaijin's smile seemed to die then and his attention was suddenly focused on sweeping, almost as though he wanted to avoid the question. "It's just...nothing, deshi."
The cerulean-haired man sighed as he approached Alex then, trying to peer into the younger man's face to gauge the truth. "I can understand that someone not from my world could be amazed by my gifts, no da. Even in my own world, people were impressed just by the simplest of my spells. But I've noticed how enraptured you've been every time I've used them in your presence, na no da."
Mousse also approached the blonde, wanting to know the true reasoning behind Alex's motivation. "It's not like I'm the only martial artist around Asia let alone the best, nor even the only person with the Juysenko curse for that matter. Why should this impress you so?"
Alex bit his lip, his brow furrowing under the scrutiny of his newfound companions. "I guess you could say that I wish I were as gifted as you are, deshi."
Both the monk and the Amazon blinked. "What do you mean by that?" Mousse asked.
Alex shrugged. "I've never been strong physically, deshi. I know that I am extremely smart, a prodigal genius in fact. But if I were ever caught in a life-threatening situation, I would surely die because my intellect can't protect me."
"And that's why you find our abilities fascinating, no da?"
The blonde nodded, heaving a sigh. "Like I said, I just wish that I could employ the skills like you both wield, then perhaps I wouldn't be holed up away within my own world, deshi."
Chichiri placed his hand gently on the gaijin's shoulder, a reflective smile cross his face. "I knew somebody who thought the same way, no da. He was very young and extremely intelligent. He thought so little of himself because his gift severely limited his ability to help out in a real fight, na no da."
"Are you talking about one of your fellow seishi?" The raven-haired Amazon asked, finding himself enraptured by Chichiri's tale.
The monk nodded upon meeting Mousse's eyes. "Hai. But in the end, his astuteness not only helped to save our Miko on numerous occasions, but helped save her home world as well even beyond his death, na no da."
Alex looked up at hearing Chichiri's words, his amethyst eyes filled with wonder. "Are you saying that I'm like one of your legendary seishi brethren, deshi?**"
"You're not exactly like my fellow seishi was, Alex, but you are quite similar in how you and he felt about yourselves, no da. Chiriko couldn't have been able to accomplish the things he did if he hadn't been gifted with his intelligence, and I suppose you won't be able to fulfill your destiny without yours either, na no da."
"He's right, you know," Mousse added with a wink. "You shouldn't feel so jealous of our gifts and talents, because, suffice to say, I'm a little envious myself. I wish I could have Chichiri's magical talents or even your brains."
"And I often wish I had been more of fighter like Mousse, no da. Or even as clever as you, Alex."
The gaijin fiddled absentmindedly with the tip of his braid, which was draped over his shoulder, contemplating what Chichiri and Mousse had just said. He'd never had a normal childhood, never been allowed to grow up like an ordinary kid would have. That was one of the reasons he'd been so involved with his anime and video games; he would always be the hero of his fantasies, never belittled because of what set him apart from others.
This was the first time he'd been told that others were jealous of his gift, of his intelligence. And it made him feel surprisingly proud of himself.
When he finally met the pair's inquiring gazes, his smile had returned in full force, his amethyst eyes sparkling behind his spectacles with tears. "I thought I'd never ever hear someone tell me that they were envious of me. You have no idea what that means to me, deshi."
Chichiri squeezed the younger man's shoulder. "Understandable. I used to think the same way, what with my face being like it is, that no one would ever think of me beyond my disfigurement, no da. I hide my true face behind a mask so that others won't get preconceived ideas because of my appearance before they even get to know me, no da."
"And I thought the same way about my handicap," Mousse added, taking off his glasses. "People don't take me seriously when I'm wearing these ridiculously large glasses, so my pride insists that I not during battle, which leads to my defeat."
"Well, I think your face looks fine the way it does, Chichiri. And Mousse, even with your glasses on you still are impressive. However," Alex murmured softly, "Even with my intelligence, I still am just an obsessive goof, deshi."
"But that's not the point, Alex, no da," Chichiri protested.
"What we're trying to say is that you're not weak," Mousse clarified, taking the gaijin's hand in his own.
The scientist looked up. "Hontou, deshi?"
Both men nodded in encouragement.
Alex felt so overjoyed that he immediately dropped the broom he had been holding and swept both Chichiri and Mousse into a hug, laughing out loud in delight. "I wish I had met you guys sooner, deshi. I've never had friends who cared about me before, only associates who wished to exploit on my talents."
Chichiri put his arms around the gaijin, returning the embrace. "Well, at least you're happy again, no da," he laughed, holding on tighter to the smaller man.
Mousse tentively placed his arms around Alex as well, unused to showing affection in such a way with other men. It felt strange, and yet comforting at the same time. "Now, let's focus on cleaning up the dining area."
Alex released both men, bending swiftly down to retrieve his forgotten broom. "Hai, deshi. Let's hurry so that way we can enjoy a long soak tonight, deshi."
~***~
*This is a little side joke that I often put into my fanfics that have Alexander in them. The ever-talented Tomokazu Seki, who is, as most of you know, a wonderful singer, voices Alex. But in my opinion, Alex is so perfect, even with his habitual obsessiveness and perpetual goofiness, that he must have some flaw. My flaw for Alex: He's tone deaf.
**Let's just say for continuity's sake, that since Alex would be well-versed in celestial legends concerning celestial beings, that he would also have knowledge of the Shi Jen Ten Chi Sho as well.
