Harry Potter; Fifth Year Unchanging
Aunt Petunia's Secret and Harry's Surprise
Chapter One
Harry lay awake for what seemed like the hundredth night that summer. He had relearned everything in his old school books (Hermione would be proud, studying for his OWLS so soon), he had finished all of his summer homework, and when he wasn't studying he was trying to fix Dudley's broken and discarded possessions. He ended up getting only a few hours of sleep each night. After the first few nights back at the Dursley's home he had nightmares filled with Voldemort, Cedric's ghost blaming him for what had happened, and Harry himself joining with Voldemort. The days after the dreams he was extremely uptight and nervous.
During the days he had the need to keep busy. He mowed the Dursley's yard, even though it didn't need it. He did yard work for some of the neighbors, too. The less time he had to think, the less time he spent replaying what had happened at the end of his fourth year in his mind. The Dursleys had plenty for him to do each day, so that when he did fall asleep, he would be too tired to be woken by his nightmares.
He still had the dreams, he just didn't remember them. He would wake covered in sweat, with Voldemort's shrill laugh still ringing in his ears and a fading picture in his mind. He never felt awake and well rested when he woke up every morning. And this morning was no different, though it was the morning of his birthday.
"Harry! Harry Potter you lazy boy, get up this minute!" his Aunt Petunia screeched as she opened the door to his room. A large barn owl, announcing its presence with a screech of its own, launched itself from the perch atop Harry's desk. It flapped its wings in Petunia's face, who swung at the bird but missed. She backed up into the railing next to the stairs, then sank to the floor in a heap, screaming.
The owl dropped a letter on her head that was addressed to Mrs. Petunia Dursley. "Vernon! Vernon, help! Harry sent a mad owl after me!" Aunt Petunia was screaming at the top of her lungs. Harry knew he was in trouble the moment she started screaming his name. He could hear his Uncle Vernon thundering up the stairs toward his room.
Vernon's beady little eyes took in the scene at the top of the stairs: Aunt Petunia on the floor with an owl on her knee, the letter clasped in her shaking hands; and then he looked at Harry.
"Vernon," Petunia said in a wavering voice, "The letter, it is addressed to me. Why would those… those freaks be writing to me?" she said, referring to the letter in her hand.
Harry took a step closer to the owl and it flew to him and landed on his shoulder. Harry brought it to his room - where he saw half a dozen owls waiting for him - and it flew in, settling upon his desk. He closed the door and turned to his Uncle, waiting for the blow to fall. And fall it did.
"You, boy," snarled Uncle Vernon turning on Harry. "How dare you frighten your Aunt like that?" Uncle Vernon was past the point of anger that made his face purple; it was a dark maroon color. Harry almost laughed at the color of his face thinking of how much Ron hated maroon.
Aunt Petunia caused a slight diversion by letting out a small yelp of terror as she read the letter. She held it up for Vernon to read when she had finished. He snatched it out of her hand and started to read. Harry and Petunia watched him; Harry with 'bated breath.
Harry was just dying to know what the letter said. He knew better than to try and grab it away. Although the Dursleys had never hit him very hard, he didn't believe that there wouldn't be a first time. They would probably also lock him in his room without food for a couple of days like they did before his second year at Hogwarts.
"Well, what rubbish," said Uncle Vernon when he had finished reading. He crumpled the letter up and went to put it in his pocket, but somehow he missed it. The letter landed on the floor. Harry watched as the letter rolled towards him. Petunia followed it with her eyes. With one quick movement he had stepped in front of the crumpled parchment. Petunia didn't say anything.
"Boy, back in your room. You can come out tomorrow. Not a word, Petunia, about this letter. Not a word," he said, putting emphasis on each word he spoke. Uncle Vernon helped Aunt Petunia up and Harry took that moment to kick the letter into his room. He was almost sure Petunia had seen him and given him a slight nod of her head. When he had closed the door behind him he heard the lock click from the outside.
Pig was flying around his room and twittering madly as he always did. Hedwig sat atop her cage with a parcel and a letter attached to her leg. Two school owls, not counting Petunia's, were perched on Harry's bedposts with letters attached to their legs.
Harry didn't mind being locked in his room as long as he could keep his mind off of Cedric and Voldemort, and if he could get some food. "Do they really think a stupid Muggle lock can keep me here?" he said out loud to himself as he picked up Petunia's letter and crossed to his bed. He had been able to pick locks, including the one on his door, since his second year. He didn't want to have to risk having a repeat of that particular summer.
Harry smoothed out the piece of parchment and sat on his bed, leaning back on the pillows. The letter was written in neat handwriting that looked like Professor McGonagall's. Harry read it out loud to himself.
Dear Mrs. Dursley,
Although you hav e never showed many signs of magic, your name has always been down to come to Hogwarts in the event that you grew into your ability. When you were eleven your magic rating was not high enough for you to be accepted into Hogwarts. However, just recently your rating has increased considerably. We are now sure that you have enough magical ability to succeed at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I do not know if you are aware that both your parents were squibs, or non-magical people, born into a magical family. Your grandparents, both sets, were magical, as were the rest of their children. Generations of your family have graduated from Hogwarts and I hope that tradition will continue.
Without further ado, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment that you will need to complete your first year of schooling.
Term begins on the first of September. We await your owl confirming that you will be at the school on the first. You are to take the Hogwarts Express from Kings Cross station, platform nine and three quarters. There will be a private compartment for Witches and Wizards starting their schooling after the age of eleven.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall.
So it was McGonagall's handwriting as Harry had guessed.
He groaned. Harry stared at the letter and reread it over and over again. He wouldn't have believed it if the letter had not been signed by the very strict Transfigurations teacher. The letter raised a multitude of intriguing questions, but all he could do was groan again at the thought of Petunia invading his life at Hogwarts.
Harry's stomach growled. He looked over at his clock; it was nigh onto lunchtime. He had been so absorbed in the letter that he'd forgotten about breakfast, much less lunch. He got up and went to his trunk, and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak and a set of what appeared to be plain old hairpins.
Fred and George Weasley had given the hairpins to Harry by owl post on the first day of summer break. Harry had thought they were ordinary hairpins until he saw the three W's scratched into the metal; the insignia for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, the twins' soon-to-be joke shop. The hairpins were enchanted to unlock all muggle locks. The twins thought they might come in handy after being locked up in his second year.
Harry covered himself in his cloak, making sure he was completely invisible, before going to the door. Putting the hairpins in the lock he said "Alohomor!" The activating spell was a deceptively simple variation on the 'Alohomora' spell that Hermione was so fond of. As far as Harry knew, he and the twins were the only ones who had a set of Weasleys' Help Yourself Hair Pins. After a few seconds the lock clicked open. He pocketed the hairpins and crept down the stairs, careful to step over the creaky bottom one. He moved across the floor cat-like to the kitchen.
Luckily for him, the kitchen door was open. When he walked into the kitchen, he saw his cousin Dudley's prodigious backside hanging out of the fridge. Dudley cradled an armload of food like a parent might cradle a child. Harry had to bite back his laughter or he would cause a real fright. 'But that could be fun in spite of the trouble I'd be in,' he thought, remembering how he'd once terrified Draco Malfoy at the Shrieking Shack. Dudley was talking to himself and to the food as he dug even deeper into the fridge. When he finally had more then he could easily carry he backed out of the fridge and waddled over to the table, dropping ham, ketchup (which exploded all over the floor) and a bottle of soda. Harry took this moment to dive into the still open fridge, as he was sure Dudley would be coming back for more. Harry grabbed what he could carry under his cloak.
When he was back in his room he relocked the door. Harry sat on the floor as he ate as fast as he could and then stashed the rest for later under the loose floorboard. Harry was still sitting on the floor, playing idly with the Invisibility Cloak, when he thought again about the letter. He was about to get up to have another look at it when an obnoxious hooting noise caused him to look up. His mouth dropped open in amazement.
Standing in the corner of the room was Harry's best friend Ron Weasley, along with his brothers Fred and George. "Took you long enough," said Ron. "Thought you went blind or something. Happy birthday Harry!" Ron grinned at him.
"Yes, Happy Birthday Harry, you old bean," said the twins bowing low to Harry. "The way you were sitting there eating that food it was like you hadn't eaten all day," said Fred with concern. They knew how bad Harry was treated.
"That," said Harry, "is because I haven't eaten. How- how did you guys get here?"
"Flew of course," said Ron as if that was obvious, although Harry couldn't see any brooms. "We got a bit of help from Bill. He enchanted our brooms to be invisible, so when we fly them we also become invisible."
Harry was about to reply when he heard the doorknob clicking as someone tried to open it from the outside. This was followed by a fumbling noise that was most likely either Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia emptying their pockets looking for their key. Harry tossed Fred his cloak. He motioned for them to be quiet. "Harry, Harry are you in there?" asked Aunt Petunia in a low voice.
'What a stupid question,' Harry thought, 'where else would I be.' The Dursleys didn't have to know about his Invisibility cloak.
"Harry, can I come in? I need to talk to you." Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only was Petunia asking for permission to enter but it sounded like she'd been crying.
"Er... come in," Harry said. He was glad that he had hidden his food when he had. He looked to the corner where the Weasleys were, making sure that he couldn't see a foot or any other appendage hanging out of the Invisibility Cloak.
The lock clicked open and in walked a very sad looking Aunt Petunia. "Can I sit down?" she asked. Without waiting for a reply she sat on Harry's bed. Harry pulled out the chair from his desk, turned it to face his Aunt and sat down. "Did you read the letter?" She didn't sound mad at him. "Do you still have that beautiful owl, so I can send my reply? Oh yes I see it. Lily had one just like that when she was in school. What should I say in this letter?
"Oh, I brought you up some snacks. I thought you might be hungry." Harry was starting to wonder if he'd really woken up that morning, for surely he must still be asleep and dreaming, but he gladly took a cookie off the plate she was holding out to him. He had never known his Aunt to go against his Uncle's wishes.
"So... Er... What do you want to say in your letter? I have some parchment and a quill you can use," said Harry. He took the writing supplies from his desk and handed them to her.
"Well, I want them to know that I can't wait to go to Hogwarts, after all I've been waiting my whole life to go there." For a few minutes she scribbled away on the parchment. When she had finished she handed the quill and parchment back to Harry. She watched as he attached the letter to the barn owl's leg. As the owl flew away, she started to talk again.
"Harry, I know I was never a good mother substitute for you, but it's just that you reminded me so much of your mother. I know no amount of "sorrys" will fix what this family did to you. When I was younger I really wanted to go to school with Lily. I was only a year older than she was. Years came and went, and I didn't get my letter. Lily continued to go back to school. It was really her second year when things started to change between us. That's the year that changed everything, Harry; she was really happy, she didn't miss me. I can't blame her for not missing me because I became very cold towards her. That school really changed our bond as sisters. She had so much fun at school with her friends and being top of her class.
"I really wanted to go more than anything. Now I can. Vernon told me that I wasn't allowed to go. And when I laughed at him, he said I had to choose between school and my family. He doesn't know that if I choose school then I get both. I get to go back to my family. They told me years ago that they didn't want to see me until I accepted Lily. I'm going to get back in touch with my family and you get to come too. I haven't told Vernon my decision yet, Harry." Petunia was in tears. "I'm leaving Vernon."
Chapter Two
Harry's mind reeled. Was Petunia telling the truth? Could she ever really leave Vernon? And did he really have family he didn't know, and if so, why had Dumbledore given Harry to the Dursleys to raise? Harry felt a presence by his side; the Weasleys had come up quietly to stand next to him. Ron whispered in his ear, putting voice to Harry's thoughts. Harry shrugged his shoulders at Ron, but from Petunia's perspective it looked like he was shrugging her off. Her face fell.
"Does that mean you don't want to come with me?" Petunia look older then Harry had ever seen her, her beady eyes still watery from her tears and her face all blotchy. Harry also noticed for the first time the creases on her face, a deep line between her eyebrows, smaller lines around the corners of her eyes and mouth. All of the lines had gotten there over years of scowling and glaring at Harry.
"No. That it isn't it. I mean, I just can't believe-," Harry sputtered and foundered about. "Let me recap on what you just said: you're leaving Uncle Vernon to go to Hogwarts and you're taking me with you? Does that cover it?"
Petunia laughed. Harry's hopes fell, he knew it was too good to be true; but Petunia was smiling at him. A genuine smile. "Harry, you didn't really think I would leave you here? Vernon never was your guardian; I hate to think what would happen to you. He would really beat the stuffing out of you if he got the idea that you had anything to do with my leaving." She paused to look at Harry but he just stared back at her. "I would love to take you to meet your grandparents, my mom and dad that is. And your great Aunts and Uncles. They've all got a fair share of magic in them." Harry was looking at her with wide eyes, thoughts of a large family that wanted him running wildly through his head. Then his face fell; what if they didn't like him, what if they blamed him for happened so many years ago to his mum? Petunia noticed his rapid change in face.
"Whatever is the matter Harry? I would have thought you would be happy to meet more of your family."
"What if they don't like me?" he looked down at his hands when he heard just how silly that sounded, and then he looked back up at Petunia. He could see that she was trying not to laugh at his sudden self- consciousness.
"They liked you when you were a wee baby riding Lily's hip. Our cousins liked you too, but you would just cling to Lily and James. Almost like you knew you wouldn't have much time with them."
Harry looked relieved. "I don't remember them."
"I didn't think you would, you were just a little thing when you met my cousins."
"Not them, my parents. I don't remember them."
Petunia started to say something, but then closed her mouth again. She didn't know what to say to the boy who she had considered a burden for almost fifteen years. "I never should have treated you the way I did, I'm..."
"Don't," said Harry. It wasn't that he didn't want her to apologize to him, but he wasn't ready to hear it from her. She was right about what she had said earlier; nothing could change how she had treated him. How she'd let other people treat him. Sorrys couldn't give him his childhood back. Harry tuned out Petunia's voice as she droned on about something to do with holidays with Vernon's family. He was filled with a blind rage against the woman sitting on his bed. He clenched and unclenched his hands as memories washed over him; his first true memories, not the dreams of green light or the flying motorcycle, but of being locked in the cupboard, being yelled at for reasons he didn't understand. He felt his face screw up; he quickly closed his eyes and looked down.
One of the Weasleys put a hand on his shoulder; he was pretty sure it was Ron again. He felt, rather then heard, the words, "Hang in there."
Petunia was still going on about the holidays. "My family," she was saying, "hasn't even met Dudley. I would never take him to my parents' house for the holidays. I wouldn't have gone at all if mother hadn't forced me. She threatened to write me out of her will. I bet she would let us live with them until we can get our own house. We could get a small house in one of those magical villages the wizard folk live in. What do you think?" she asked Harry. The aged tiredness was gone, replaced with little kid excitement.
"Sure," Harry said off-handedly. She didn't seem to notice his less then enthusiastic reply; she kept on talking like he hadn't said anything.
"I don't think we should tell Vernon or Dudley about my leaving. Is there a place that you could stay for the rest of summer? You would be better off somewhere else."
"Er..." Was all he said because Ron was whispering in his ear again. "I could stay with the Weasleys. They had invited me over today be owl post."
"That's not Arthur Weasley, is it?" asked Aunt Petunia. Harry just nodded his head yes. "He came to some of Lily's later birthday parties with his girlfriend. Lily's friends were some kind of fun." A dreamy look spread over her face and she exhaled with a sigh that sounded allot like 'Remus Lupin'.
Harry started choking on the cookie he was eating. Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and Harry was sure that his Aunt didn't know that. He was hoping that his Aunt didn't fancy him, but judging by the look on her face she did. The thought of Petunia and Lupin together made Harry shudder.
Petunia was asking him how soon he would be ready to go, because the sooner he left the better for him. He told her that he could leave as soon as he was packed, which wouldn't take long. Petunia made to leave, but paused from closing the door behind her to crane her rather large neck through the gap, "Oh, Harry, Happy fourteenth - I mean fifteenth birthday." She closed the door with a snap. Harry could hear her feet on the stairs.
Harry saw Ron pulling off the cloak. The twins appeared beside him. "Are you all right, Harry?" Ron asked him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." They didn't look like they accepted his answer. "Let's pack this stuff up and get out of here!" The twins' faces broke into identical grins, a Weasley twin trademark. "All right Harry!" said Fred, coming over and thumping him on the back.
"You get to leave the Dursleys forever. Who would of thought?" said George as he too came up to congratulate Harry.
"Well what you waiting for Harry, lets pack this stuff up!" said an overly excited Ron, waving his arms around Harry's room. Harry and the Weasleys ran around the room scooping up Harry's belongings and dropping them into the trunk. Harry untied all his packages from the owls and sent them off, then put the packages in his trunk, deciding to open them later. He noticed one from Headmaster Dumbledore; he made a mental note to open that one first. Dumbledore had never sent him a package at home before. Then the four of them ran down the stairs to say goodbye.
"Cheery O!" they said in unison, to the shock of the assembled Dursleys. Dudley ran squealing like a pig out of the living room. Harry and the Weasleys broke into fits of laughter and rushed back up the stairs.
"What about the trunk? How can we bring it, when we can't use magic?" asked Harry, looking from Ron to Fred and then George. Harry was sure his broom couldn't carry both the heavy trunk and him.
"Oh right, almost forgot about that," said Ron, smacking his forehead. From a pocket in his jacket he pulled out a small jar. In the jar Harry could see a small piece of parchment. Ron handed the jar to Harry. Harry had no idea what he was supposed to do with it. He just stared at it, until Ron said, "Harry, open the jar and tip the parchment into your trunk. Don't touch it yourself or you will become feather light."
Harry did as Ron had told him to do. When the parchment touched the contents in the trunk it seemed to sink into Harry's belongings. He had to quickly close the trunk because his robes had begun to float out of it. "What is that?" asked Harry.
"That is a very helpful little bit of parchment, Harry. It will make anything feather light. Bill enchanted it for us, he is always happy to help us out when we need it. Let's tie that trunk to your broom and go," said Fred. Fred helped Harry balance the trunk and tie it to the Firebolt.
"Harry, fly up into the clouds when we leave and don't worry, you won't have any trouble following us," said George. "All right, let's get out of here." He grabbed his broom and was gone. Fred did the same. Ron took his broom and as he flew out the window he gave a loud whoop. Harry could only imagine how Ron was flying.
Harry made sure he and the trunk were covered with the Invisibility cloak before he flew out the window. He let himself drop almost to the ground before he pulled out of the dive. He flew straight up towards the clouds and when he burst though he saw the Weasleys hovering on their brooms just above him. Harry did a double take. "You guys are supposed to be invisible. Did the charm wear off? My trunk isn't going to get heavy, is it?" he asked, turning around to touch his trunk and hoping it wouldn't suddenly weigh him down.
"Harry you prat, if we stay invisible we would lose each other, or our voices from calling out to each other. We are only invisible when a muggle from the ground can see us," explained Ron.
They flew in silence for a while. So many thought were chasing each other around Harry's mind. 'What a day,' he thought. He couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts. He was so hoping that this year would be better than last year, 'But probably not with Voldemort being back and having me on his most wanted list,' Harry thought sourly. One thought overrode even thoughts of Voldemort. He just had to ask it out loud. "If your dad knows my Aunt how come they didn't recognize each other last year when they met?" Harry asked.
"I don't know Harry. I don't remember if Dad formally introduced himself when they met last year. Maybe they look allot different," said Fred. "But hey look on the bright side, we are making great time. We will be right on time for Er, um-" Fred's voice trilled off. He and the other Weasleys became invisible again as they passed over a small village; Harry was reminded that he'd been invisible to them for the entire trip.
"On time for what?" Harry asked.
"Dinner."
"Our favorite radio program."
"To play Quidditch." Harry heard three disembodied voices. When the Weasleys came back into view they looked guilty about something; their faces and ears were bright red.
"Er, right," said Harry. He was starting to wonder why they had just showed up at his house on his birthday, without so much as a hint in any of their letters that they were coming. Harry didn't say anything else about it; if they were playing at something Harry didn't want to get in the way or ruin it.
Every now and then one of the Weasleys would fly down below the clouds to make sure they were still going the right way. Talking was at a minimum as they flew. The air was turning cold as the sun sunk below the clouds.
Ron and Harry dipped down beneath the clouds and found themselves right above The Burrow, the Weasley family home. They went back up above the clouds to tell the twins. The four landed very neatly on the front lawn and dismounted their brooms. Harry pulled off the Invisibility Cloak as they walked up the path. Ron pulled open the front door, shoving Harry inside first.
The first thing Harry noticed was darkness. Then the interior torches all lit up at once; balloons, streamers, and bits of confetti fell from the ceiling getting stuck in Harry's hair. "Surprise!" yelled at least fifty voices, including Ron and the twins who were grinning from ear to ear and looking very pleased with themselves. A big banner unrolled that said "Happy Birthday Harry!" It was a handmade banner done in the distinctive style of Gryffindor's resident artist Dean Thomas. Harry stared in shock at his first ever surprise birthday party. Lee Jordan pushed a butterbeer into his hand. He was surrounded by friends from Hogwarts, all crammed into The Burrow's front rooms.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Ron.
Ron scanned the room but came up empty. "I don't know. When we left to get you she seemed a bit put out, and snappy. Maybe it's that time of the -"
"Ron!" said a sharp voice from behind the boys. Ginny was standing behind them glaring at Ron. Harry took note of the fact that she was wearing a blue summer dress. It was the first time he'd ever seen her in such a feminine garment. "Don't talk about your friend like that." Ginny moved closer to Harry, almost until they were touching; Harry unthinkingly took a step back. She yelled something over the noise, but he couldn't make out her words. He leaned closer again so he could hear her.
"A black dog is in Ron's room!" She winked at him. "I'll find Hermione for you!"
"Thanks!" he yelled back so she could hear him. Harry and Ron pushed their way through the crowd of people all the way up the stairs. Everyone that they passed told Harry to have a great birthday. Upon opening the door Harry saw a great big black dog sitting on Ron's bed. "Hello Sirius." The dog became a man.
"Hullo Harry, happy birthday. How you holding up?" asked Sirius, looking at Harry closely. He knew Harry wasn't doing as well as he looked. He could see how tired his eyes looked, they had lost their sparkle; the bags under his eyes made him look older than fifteen, and he looked skinnier. Sirius was hoping that some time here would help Harry move past Cedric's death.
"I'm- I'm great Sirius. This has to be my best birthday ever. You're looking better yourself, how long have you been here and how long are you staying?" asked Harry. He noticed that Sirius was losing the starved look that Azkaban had given him, but his eyes still looked a little haunted.
"I'm here for the rest of the summer unless Dumbledore needs me. I've been staying with the Weasleys for the past week. They all know I'm not the dog that they thought I was," said Sirius with a tight smile. "But the guest of honor should not be missing his party and his friends shouldn't let him. We'll talk soon Harry," added Sirius, and with a 'pop' he was back to his dog self.
As they headed back down the many flights of stairs they caught up with Hermione. She gave Harry a searching look that made him squirm. "You didn't turn your relatives into squids, did you Harry?" she asked. She also sent Ron a look that clearly said that if Harry was in trouble, Ron must be involved. The familiarity of it got past Harry's defenses, and the laughter he shared with Ron in that moment was doubly good because he'd been secretly afraid he'd lost the capacity for it. "Oh honestly," she said, as she too started to giggle.
The party was highly enjoyable. The trio made the rounds, talking and laughing with their friends. At one point Harry lost Ron and Hermione in the crowd. He found Ron talking with some of the Gryffindors. Hermione wasn't with them.
Harry stood on his toes to see over the people flocking to an empty patch of floor in sets of two. There was going to be dancing, apparently. He saw Hermione standing in a corner with a faraway look on her face, but now he wanted to find Cho Chang. He kept scanning the room, but he didn't see her anywhere. He didn't even know if Cho was at the party.
He saw Fred Weasley appear in front of Hermione, talking to her with his back to Harry. She smiled sweetly up at him; Harry had never seen her look at anyone like that before. She let Fred lead her off to an empty spot on the floor. Ron had apparently seen them, too, for he was glaring at them and muttering under his breath.
Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, came up to Ron and drew his attention away from Fred and Hermione. She asked him to dance and he agreed at once, taking her arm with a wide grin on his face he led her onto the floor. Harry was a little disappointed to be left alone, but that thought had hardly formed when Cho showed up.
"Hi Harry, happy birthday," Cho said.
"Thanks." There was a short silence as Cho regarded him with large brown eyes. "How are you doing?" he finally asked, as he remembered the leaving feast and how sad she had been when Cedric had died. Her eyes still shone as if with unshed tears.
"I'm getting there. How about you, are you okay?" she asked. Her voice caught in her throat, a clear giveaway to Harry that she wasn't doing great but just didn't want to let him know it.
"Yeah, me too, I'll be fine soon," Harry said. He couldn't tell her about his dreams. He could see in her eyes that she didn't feel the same way about him as she had about Cedric. A hint of resentment was there mixed with the sadness. They talked awhile about the coming school year, Quidditch, and their summer breaks.
Hermione returned to Harry's side with a big grin on her face; Cho excused herself and left them. "So why are you looking so happy?" Harry teased. "Did you have some fun with Fred?" She looked at him and smiled wider, which Harry didn't think would have been possible.
"Have you seen Ron? Where did he go?" she asked. Something in the tone of her voice didn't quite match her bright and happy expression.
"He went to dance with Hannah Abbott." Harry said. "So what's going on with you and Krum?" Hermione didn't respond to his gentle jibe. She started to stare off into space again, so Harry decided to leave off with the banter. When Ron returned he was red in the face and smirking. Right away he started in on Hermione about her and Fred, but she didn't seem to hear anything that he asked her. Ron gave up; he looked at Harry and rolled his eyes.
"Ron, leave Hermione alone." Ginny was back. "She can dance with Fred if she wants to." She did something behind the boys' backs that caused Hermione to snicker. Ron's eyes narrowed and Harry knew that a Weasley sibling battle was now under way.
"Oh, I know," said Ron with considerable glee. "Why don't you dance with Ginny, Harry?"
Ginny's face turned as crimson as her hair. "You don't have to, Harry," she said quickly.
"He would love to dance with you Ginny, wouldn't he Hermione?" Hermione didn't take any notice of Ron. Ron gave Harry a little push towards Ginny. Harry could feel heat rising in his face. Trying to salvage Ginny's dignity as well as his own, he said, "Sure I'd love to dance with you, Ginny." She didn't look completely convinced, but she allowed Harry to lead her to a clear part of the floor.
They started to dance. He was very surprised to feel how small and fragile she felt in his arms. Her interaction with her brothers had given Harry a perception of her as being sturdy. Pulling her to him brought back a sensory memory of when he'd held her in the Camber of Secrets, which was not as unwelcome a flashback as he would have expected. His hands moved farther around her and met bare flesh – dear God, her dress was backless!
She pulled away from him, leaving Harry feeling slightly put out. She turned away from him slightly as if she meant to leave but Harry put his hands around her waist to keep her there. She looked up at Harry with an unreadable expression in her bright brown eyes. She licked her lips – such pretty lips, Harry noticed for the first time – and opened them to say something. Then she sneezed, and sneezed again.
"Bless you," said Harry.
"Thanks." She pulled a tissue from her pocket. "I've got a bit of a summer cold. Been trying to get rid of it for all this week."
"Maybe you're allergic to something?" Harry suggested.
"That could be," she said with a wry smile. They settled into the dance again, Harry being careful this time to keep his hands on her waist. She tilted her head up so she could see into his eyes. He looked down into her face, so familiar yet so new, taking in her red-gold hair and the light dusting of freckles across her nose. Her lips began moving, but Harry couldn't hear a word she was saying. Sound was pushing in on his ears, roaring all around him. Voices, music and wind pressed in on him. He couldn't hear Ginny above the roar that had surrounded him. "Ginny?" He couldn't even hear his own voice.
She had stopped talking and was now looking at him with concern. Her lips were still moving, the only clue that she was trying to say anything. Harry watched as her lips formed the same word repeatedly. His name, he realized. As he stood there looking at her, he could see that she was growing angry with him, but he try as he might, he couldn't manage to make out anything she was saying.
The noise from the party felt like it was pressing in on him, as voices swirled by him. Harry couldn't make any sense out of any of it. 'I'm going crazy,' he thought. Then all at once everything turned back to normal. Ginny stomped away from him, pushing her way through the crowd of party-goers. She wore a hurt expression on her face from being snubbed by Harry.
Harry's first thought was to go after her and try to explain. 'How?' Harry asked himself. He didn't know how to make it right again. Would she believe him if he told her the truth about what had just happened; and if she did, would she write him off as crazy? Hermione would know what to do, he was sure, but he didn't see her anywhere. He was going to go and find her when Ron stepped in front of him, blocking his way.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked Harry. Harry was relieved to see that Ron wasn't mad at him. "Are you all right Harry? You look a little funny." He studied Harry's face. "Maybe you should go outside and get some air, it's a little hot in here."
"That sounds like a good idea. But what about Ginny?" he asked. "Do you think I should go after her?" Harry still wasn't feeling quite right. Maybe Ron was right, it was hot inside, and he might just need some fresh air.
"Too iffy. She has her own amount of the Weasley temper. Mind you she looks about ready to curse you into oblivion." He paused. "I think you should let someone else go and talk to her. Don't worry, we will take care of it, Hermione and I, that is."
Harry nodded. "Thanks. I'm going to go outside for a bit. I'll see you later." He tried to sound normal, but the weird feeling was coming back.
Harry pushed through all the people and out the back door into the night air. He saw more people in the garden. Even the garden gnomes had come out to enjoy the party. He kept walking, past the people sitting amongst the flowers on benches, past the last bed of flowers, and past the point where he could hear the music from the party. He reached the stone wall that he and the Weasley boys had flung gnomes over one summer. He climbed onto the wall and walked along it. The Burrow disappeared as he followed the bend in the stone wall.
He was busy looking at his feet to make sure he wouldn't fall off the wall when he felt goose pimples rise on his arms. A coldness that felt like he was in a block of ice surrounded him. The stones he was walking on shone like they too were covered in ice. "Hello Harry." Harry almost fell off the wall in shock. He jumped down onto the grass.
Hovering above the stone wall where he had just been was the ghostly form of Cedric. "Hello," he said again.
Harry could see through him like any ghost. He was trying to get over the shock of walking through Cedric; it was a nasty one. "Hello Cedric," he said, once he finally found his voice.
"Earlier, when you were talking to Ginny Weasley, and you couldn't make out anything she was saying, that was sort of my doings. Sorry that I got you in a bit of hot water." He gave Harry an apologetic smile. "So how have you been?" Cedric asked as if he nothing was wrong, as if he was still alive and was just a guest at Harry's fifteenth birthday party.
"I'm-" Harry took a deep breath, it was like he was back to telling everybody he was fine when he couldn't feel worse than he did. "I'm just fine, I guess."
Cedric studied him; he clearly didn't believe a word that he had just said. "Have you been to my grave, Harry?"
"No, I'm sorry." Harry had never even thought to go see his grave, even if he did know where it was.
"Don't be; sorry, that is. The point of my being here isn't for you to come to pay your respects."
"Then what?" Harry hoped Cedric wasn't going to haunt him, like Moaning Myrtle did with her toilet. His concern must have shown on his face, for Cedric laughed a little at him.
"Don't worry Harry, I'm not here to haunt you. Do you know what it says on my grave stone?" Harry didn't have the faintest idea what was on his grave. "It says RIP, or rest in peace. Harry I can't rest in peace if you keep bringing me back for nightly visits to your dreams, where I get to star.
"For me to rest in peace you have to stop reliving what happened, and for that to happen you have to forgive yourself. It's not your fault that I died. You know that don't you Harry? Nobody is blaming you."
"I am," Harry said. "If I hadn't talked you into taking the cup with me you'd be alive."
"It's not the time to play the 'What If' game. It can go on for ages, and it will tear you up. Go back to the party Harry, try to work things out with Ginny, and have fun. Remember what I told you Harry, it's not your fault. Good-bye Harry."
"Good-bye Cedric," Harry said. Cedric faded from view but his words hung in the air. They echoed and reechoed in Harry's head. He knew it would be hard to forgive himself, but he had to try.
Harry walked slowly back to the party, thoughts swirling inside his head. He hoped that seeing Cedric and hearing what he had to say would help him move on. He was sure that he would get more sleep tonight.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Ron when he was back inside. He wanted to ask her about Ginny. Neither of the two girls were anywhere to be seen.
"Not sure," said Ron. "Have you noticed anything different about her?"
"Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, she has been acting a little off from the moment she arrived here a week ago."
"Maybe you're overreacting," Harry suggested.
"Ginny noticed too, it isn't just me. She'll be all normal, as normal as she can be, like when you first got here. She was all happy to see you. She was even cracking jokes, but then that's not very Hermione-like, come to think of it. But anyway, she has hardly talked to you since you got here."
Harry pondered this. Hermione hadn't really said anything to him. "Have you asked her if she's all right?"
"Ginny did. Ginny said that Hermione didn't respond to her, not even to make an excuse for the way she was acting. Ginny wouldn't let it be, and Hermione blew up at her. I was standing right outside Ginny's bedroom so I heard the whole thing, and I'm telling you, it didn't sound like Hermione."
"How so?" asked Harry. He scanned the crowd but he couldn't find her.
"Well you know how Hermione is when she's mad? She'll get all red in the face and the likes, and believe me, I've had more then my fair share of rows with her, so I should know."
"What happened?" Harry was dying to know, and Ron was just dragging the story out.
"Well," said Ron, "after she finished yelling at Ginny, with no big words mind you, she pulled open the door with almost enough force to take it off its hinges. But the weird thing was she looked perfectly calm. She wasn't red in the face or anything. She didn't even give me an earful for listening in. She disappeared for the rest of the day. Ginny was frantic, thought she had run away."
"Maybe we should talk to her. Find out what's going on with her." Ron was right, that whole episode didn't sound like Hermione at all.
"Talk to whom?" Hermione was right there, as if summoned by the sound of her name. Ron raised his eyebrows and cocked his head towards her, all the while giving Harry a strange look. He did all this without Hermione giving any hint that she had noticed, even though she was facing him.
"Um, Ginny. She went away in a huff earlier, and we were wondering if she's okay," lied Harry.
"I'll go get her, she's in her room." Hermione swept away without as much as a backwards glance.
"Now don't tell me that's not strange," said Ron, "her coming over here when we were talking about her."
"Yeah, and she didn't seem to notice the look you gave her," Harry said. "But what do I do about Ginny?"
"Too late," muttered Ron. Hermione had returned with Ginny in tow. Ginny glared at Harry, looking very intimidating.
"What," she snapped at Harry, "do you want?" Ron nodded enthusiastically at Harry behind Ginny's back.
"Do you want to walk with me?" Harry tentatively asked her. Harry offered her his arm. She took it, spun on her heel and marched towards the back door dragging Harry with her. Harry looked over his shoulder at Ron, who gave him a sympathetic look. Hermione was gone again, Harry noted.
On their way out the back door, Ginny grabbed a cloak off one of the hooks. In one fluid motion she had the cloak wrapped around her body. The night air had cooled considerably since Harry had come back from talking with Cedric. She sat down on one of the benches in the garden. Harry followed her lead. The music from inside was still loud.
She was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Harry wracked his brain. He didn't know why she was so mad at him, and he didn't know of anything to make her feel better. Maybe flattery would do the trick.
"So talk!" she snapped at him again.
He decided to go with flattery. "You look nice, Ginny."
She made a disgruntled noise. "Oh please Harry, we both know you don't mean that. Did you listen to a single thing I said earlier?"
"No, I didn't. I couldn't hear anything beside a jumble of sound that didn't make any sense to me."
"Yeah, and that doesn't make any sense to me. I would think someone like you could come up with a better excuse then that."
Harry didn't know what to say to her still. "I haven't been sleeping well, because of what happened," Harry said lamely. "I haven't slept more the four hours each night. Four nightmare-filled hours. I see Cedric die, Voldemort come back, and I see him kill all my friends!"
"You're not asleep, Harry. You should be able to listen to someone when they talk to you. You're not having any trouble now. So why then Harry, what happened?"
"Can we just drop this?" Harry asked her. He was tired and he didn't want to be sitting outside in the cold. And he really didn't want to explain about Cedric.
"We can't just drop it Harry. I meant what I said!"
"I don't know what you said! Can you just tell me again?" Harry was getting frustrated with her.
"No!" she snarled at him. Harry got the sudden impulse to back away from her. "Maybe if you had apologized to me instead of lying to me!" Ginny was red in the face and breathing hard. She jumped off the bench and walked away from him, her back straight and her cloak billowing out behind her.
"I'm sorry! I really am, Ginny," Harry yelled after her. Harry wasn't sure if she heard him, but her steps faltered and she shook her head, her hair rippling across her back with the movement. It looked like she was going to turn around, but instead she put her hand up to her face. Harry suspected that she had just brushed a tear away.
Harry sat on the bench long after Ginny had disappeared back inside The Burrow. He was glad, for once, of the dark that pushed in on him trying to swallow him. Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the swish of the cloak as someone sat down next to him.
Harry sat oblivious to the person next to him for five minutes; he would have sat there longer if the other hadn't started to talk. "Harry do you want to talk about it?"
Harry gave a start when the soft voice broke into his thoughts. Harry looked up, saying "Professor Dumbledore what are you doing here, Sir?"
"Well Harry, is this not the day that your friends, family and the people who care about you honor the day that you were born? Am I right in thinking that you didn't expect any of your professors to come to your birthday party?" He smiled down at Harry, but his smile faltered upon seeing how tired and rundown Harry looked. Dumbledore flicked his wand and two pieces of yellow cake appeared out of thin air. "Cake Harry?" He handed one piece to Harry and conjured two forks with another flick of his wand. They ate in silence for a while, just enjoying the night.
"So, Harry I heard that the Weasleys came and rescued you from the Dursleys. Do you want to talk about that, or about anything else?"
Harry took a deep breath and stared talking. He talked about how he hadn't slept through the night for months. He talked about what his Aunt had told him. He talked about his flight to the Burrow, and about Sirius, Cho, Ron, and his troubles with Ginny, and even Hermione's strange behavior. He went through the whole story of what had happened between Ginny and himself, including Cedric's visitation. He told Dumbledore what Cedric had said to him, and how he didn't know how to forgive himself.
"This is the best birthday ever, but it's all falling apart. Better than any the Dursleys gave me, that's for sure," Harry said, feeling really pitiful.
Dumbledore looked down at him. "Well I see. You have had quite a day Harry, but you should know that everybody is here for you, even ghosts. You should know that Cedric's words are true, nobody blames you. Do try and remember that.
"I'll try to keep a close eye on Hermione if that will make you feel any better. But now Harry, I think it is time to go back. Everybody is missing us. Although they might just be wanting some of your chocolate cake. Come along Harry," said Dumbledore. He stood up, lighting his wand to lead the way.
Harry got up slowly and stumbled along behind him. He hadn't realized just how tired he really was. He was exhausted. Every step felt like his legs were made of lead, and his eyelids kept trying to flicker shut of their own accord.
When they walked back into the house it erupted with cheers. Harry looked around and grinned to see all the people he cared about smiling back at him. Dumbledore led him up to the front of the living room to stand behind his cake, which was huge and had an amazingly accurate likeness of Harry catching the snitch on it.
Dumbledore waited for the room to quiet down before he started to talk. "Welcome to Harry's birthday party! Now why is it I see people from all the houses but Slytherin?" He smiled around at all the people there. Harry did too. Dumbledore was speaking again.
"I think it's about high time we sing to Harry. Shall I conduct the song?" He waved his wand and music notes came out of it with lyrics floating underneath. Dumbledore started singing, but it wasn't the "Happy Birthday" song.
'Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please
Whether we be old and bald... '
"Oh dear me, wrong song." He flicked his wand again and this time the correct music lines came out of it. Harry wasn't listening; he was thinking about the school song. The last line made him think of Petunia coming to Hogwarts.
When the song had finished Harry blew out the candles, made a wish for a normal school year, and started to cut the cake. He took the piece with the golden snitch on it. He walked around as he ate, mingling with his friends. They talked about the coming school year, the Quidditch season and of course new ways to get the Slytherins and Snape.
"So I wondered who is going to be our Defense against the Dark Arts professor," said Harry through a mouth full of rich chocolate cake.
"Yeah, who or what, you mean Harry," said Neville joining the conversation. They talked away about this and that. Harry was slowly forgetting about Ginny and Cedric. Ginny wasn't anywhere around, or Hermione for that matter.
He was about to point out Hermione's absence to Ron, but no sooner had he opened his mouth to do so than she was she standing in front of him. "Hello Hermione," Harry said above the noise from the party.
"You're here finally! I was wondering when you were going to come. It's so good to see you again!" She tossed her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.
Harry was taken aback by her second warm welcome. He pulled away from her so he could look her in the face. "Hermione," he said slowly, "I've been here for the longest time. You've already said hello to me. Are you all right?"
Harry watched as her happy exterior melted away. She withdrew her arms from him, but didn't move away; they were still touching. Harry moved back but she closed the distance. "Why does everybody keep asking me that? I'm fine, I couldn't be any better!" she hissed at Harry.
"You just seem a little off, and we're worried about you." She was making Harry very anxious.
She scoffed at him. A smirk played on her face and a gleam sparked in her eyes. "I'm touched, Harry, that you're worried about me." Sarcasm oozed from her words. "Nice to know you can get away from your fan club long enough to pay attention to me."
"What do you mean by that, Hermione?" Her words had stung. When had he ever been too busy for her and Ron? He asked her just that.
"You, Ron, Ginny, my parents, who has time for me? All of you think I've gone mad, maybe you haven't noticed that you're the ones who have changed."
"No one has changed Hermione, Ron and I are how we've always been. We're worried about you."
Hermione laughed at him. She touched his forearm, letting her fingers linger there. Harry looked at her hand. A flash of red over Hermione's head caught his eye. Ron was watching them. His eyes moved from Hermione's hand up to look Harry in the eye. His eyebrows were knitted together. Harry was relieved to see he wasn't mad; the look on his face was the same one he wore when he was writing an essay for McGonagall. Like he was working something out…
Hermione's eyes were traveling over his body, making Harry very uncomfortable. Her voice was low when she spoke, "I think there is more to it than that, Harry."
Harry swallowed. He took her hand off his arm and made to drop her hand by her side but her fingers had closed around his. "Hermione? What are you doing?"
She leaned in closer to him, standing on tiptoes. Her mouth was next to his ear. She still had his hand in hers, and her other hand was resting on his chest. He attempted to pull away from her but she moved closer. "I think it was you Harry." Her words reached his ear like a hiss.
"Wha-what was me?" he stuttered. Her grip on his fingers was uncannily strong.
"You killed him, Harry." Her voice was still a hiss. Her breath wafted across his ear and stirred his hair; a shiver ran up his spine. "You killed Cedric." Harry stumbled backwards as if he'd been pushed, which any onlooker might have assumed had happened considering the way Hermione grimaced at him. She wiped her hands on her robes, like she had something foul on them.
"You know I didn't! I-"
"-only know what you've told us. Maybe you lied to me, to everyone." She turned to run away, but Harry grabbed her by the arm. He spun her around to look at him.
"It was all a game to you before wasn't it?" Harry growled at her, "finding the stone, surviving the basilisk, facing Sirius, that was all fun for you until somebody died. I can't understand you Hermione!"
"You don't understand what it's like to be your friend, how much worry comes with it." Hermione looked close to tears.
Ron was still hovering behind her, listening to everything, and watching every movement that Harry and Hermione made. He seemed to be scanning the crowd of people, looking for someone. When he didn't find who he was looking for, his eyes settled back on Harry and Hermione.
"You don't think I've thought about that? Every night when I'm plagued by nightmares? Nightmares where I see you die?" Harry bellowed at her above the noise of the party. "You're the one who can't understand what it is like to have two friends that you care about more than anything, more than my own life. If you don't know that, then I don't think you know who I am."
"Maybe you're right, maybe you're not, but I know more about you than you do. Perhaps I wish that troll had finished me off." Ron was beside her now.
"Don't say that, Hermione." Ron reached for her, touching her arm lightly, but she brushed him off. "We need you. You're the one that holds us together, you hold me together."
Hermione scoffed at him. "You need my homework. I'm just a talking book to you two."
Ron stared at her. "You don't mean that," he said. Harry was waiting for him to blow up, to stomp away mad and not talk to Hermione for months, but what he did was worse. He didn't say anything more to her, just turned and retreated to the other side of the room. Harry watched him leave.
"Come off it Hermione. I don't know what's wrong with you, but you've got to knock it off. We haven't done anything to you."
"Right," drawled Hermione, "because being friends with the two of you is just a breeze. Ron's always yelling at me, and being your friend is like hanging 'round a time bomb."
"Do you regret becoming our friend? Is that what this is all about?" Harry was livid; it was all he could do to not lose it. "Maybe I should have made friends with Malfoy when I had the chance. Let him corrupt me, and give him the power he wants."
"You don't have any real power Harry. You need smarts to get power." She touched his arm again. Her breath tickled his neck, her mouth was so close to his ear. Her hand was on his leg, slowly moving up. Harry was having a hard time controlling himself as her fingers danced across his leg. He pulled her hand away from his thigh.
"Stop it Hermione," he growled at her. "I'm sick of your mind games."
She pulled back to look at him, and smiled. "I've got more games." She licked her lips, and her smile grew. "So, you see me die in your dreams? Is it a slow painful death or do you just wave your wand, say the words and get on with it?"
Harry's throat went dry. "Why do you think I'm the one who-" he finished in a whisper, not audible above the music, "kills you?" He wasn't about to tell her about his nightmares, not after what she had said to him.
"That's right, you don't have the gall to harm anyone," she sneered at him, "you would just stand by and watch."
Harry had had it. "Why don't you go back home were you belong, Mudblood!" Harry yelled at her, but the second the words flew from his mouth he wanted to snatch them out of the air. He saw Ron moving throw the crowd, he was glaring at Harry. It was like he had radar for any insult aimed at Hermione.
Harry wasn't expecting the smile that slid onto her face. She looked deranged with her hair bushing out behind her, her eyes were wide and staring, and that smile. Nor was he expecting Hermione's next move. Hermione slapped him upside the face, three times before Ron grabbed her slender wrist. Harry staggered backwards from the force of the blows, his hand holding his stinging face. His glasses had been knocked to the floor, and he almost crushed them.
"How dare you say that to me Harry," she hissed at him. Tears streaked down her face. The tears were so different from the crazed look that had been on her face before she had hit him. She was struggling against Ron, trying to go at Harry again. Ron held her tight.
"I'm going to go up to bed now," Harry said. He pushed pass Ron and Hermione. Ron was gawking at him. Harry half-hoped that Ron would stop him from leaving and force them to apologize. As he brushed by Hermione she lunged for him, but couldn't reach him.
"The rise and Fall of Dark Lords, read it Harry. You will find some answers to questions you don't even know yet!" Hermione's voice shook in anger and had a very deadly sound to it as she yelled after him. He wasn't sure what she was going on about.
Harry pushed by more people while holding onto his stinging cheek. Most people moved out of his way but one dance couple was too wrapped up in each other to notice Harry. He didn't notice them until he ran into them. He turned to say sorry and saw Colin holding onto Ginny so she wouldn't lose her balance. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, his top lip still numb from Hermione's stinging slap.
He caught a glimpse of Ron holding onto Hermione saying comforting words to her. She had stopped fighting him and was now crying into his shirt; Harry could see her shoulders move back and forth. "I'm really sorry," Harry said vaguely, not really talking to Ginny and Colin.
"Harry, I'm..." Ginny started to say as she reached out to touch him. "Oh my god Harry, what happened to your face?" Ginny dragged Harry's hand away from his face.
"Oh that." Harry tried to wave her away without telling her what had happened. "It's nothing really." He knew enough not to say he ran into a door, that line never worked for anyone.
"Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to bed. Goodnight Ginny. Colin." Harry walked off leaving them staring after him. Harry heard Colin say, "That was odd."
Harry made his way to the stairs. A few steps up he looked back over the throng of people. Hermione and Fred - Harry was almost sure it was Fred - were dancing to the music. Hermione was laughing at something Fred had said. She didn't look like someone who had just had a row with one of her best friends.
Harry didn't like her sudden change of attitude, it wasn't right. He muttered to himself as he climbed the many flights of stairs to Ron's room. As he opened the door he saw Sirius pick his head up of from his front paws. "Don't bother changing forms, Sirius, I just want to go to bed. So if you don't mind…" Sirius left the room. Harry closed the door after him.
Harry turned out the lights, letting the darkness press in on him. It wasn't a very welcoming blackness, but then it never was nowadays. He heard Sirius come back into the room. Harry could feel Sirius's eyes on him. He lay down on the cot that had become familiar from past visits to The Burrow, but he couldn't fall asleep. When Harry finally dropped off into a very deep and fitful sleep, he had the same nightmares that he had every night.
He saw Voldemort destroy Hogwarts and kill everyone there except for the Slytherins. Hermione's voice drifted through his dream, "I told you!" she shrieked at him. "Didn't I tell you you were the one who killed me! I thought you were supposed to kill that evil twit of a Dark Lord. You failed us, Harry. You didn't kill him, Harry! It's all your fault!" Her voice was ghostly and high pitched. The ghostly forms of his friends were surrounding him, telling him it was his fault, yelling at him as they pushed closer.
"You picked the losing side Potter!" Draco's voice was right next to him. Draco was smiling at what had happened. Then with a piercing scream, that Harry recognized as his own, Draco turned into Voldemort. "It's all your fault, Potter!" he kept chanting. The dream started to fade leaving Harry in darkness with Voldemort's red eyes boring into him as he kept chanting. He heard another voice join Voldemort's; Harry recognized it as Hermione's. She sent the killing curse hurtling at him. He could still see Voldemort's red eyes through the green light that crashed down on him.
"Its not! It's not my fault! I didn't do it, it was you! You killed them. NO! It's not my fault!" Harry said as he got caught in the green light. He felt the air leave him, and he could feel himself falling farther into the green glow. "AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Harry yelled. He woke covered in a cold sweat and gripping the front of Ron's robes. Ron had been shaking him trying to get him to wake up.
"Harry what's wrong? You were yelling in your sleep, something about it's not your fault and people dying. Want to talk about it?" Ron looked down at Harry who was shaking and pale. He had concern written all over his face, it showed in his eyes and laced his words.
"Oh sure, the nightmare. It was the usual. Voldemort coming after me, killing everyone at Hogwarts except Malfoy, the Slytherins and me. Malfoy turning into Voldemort and then Hermione killing me. Cedric telling me it was my fault that he died. Just everyday stuff," Harry said dryly, knowing only too well how true that was.
Ron looked horror-stricken. "That's not funny Harry."
"I never said that it was Ron," he snapped back, "or I wouldn't be sitting here scared out of my wits." Sirius put his hand on his shoulder causing him to jump in fright.
"Harry have you told Dumbledore about these dreams, because I want you to, or I could."
"This one's new. I told him about the other ones, where I'm in the graveyard," Harry said, as his heart rate finally started to slow down. He let go of the front of Ron's robes. Ron looked relieved to get be getting away from Harry. He sat on his own bed watching Harry.
"I'm going to talk to him. I want you to try to go to sleep Harry. Goodnight Ron. Harry," said Sirius. With a small "pop" he was dog again.
"Well goodnight Ron. I hope I don't wake you up again," Harry said. He didn't really believe that he would be able to sleep, but he didn't want to talk to Ron. He didn't want to do anything that had to do with Ron, Hermione or Ginny.
"You didn't wake me. The party just ended. Goodnight then," Ron said as he climbed into his bed already forgetting Harry's nightmare. It didn't take long for Ron's steady breathing to fill the darkness.
Harry looked at the digital clock on Ron's nightstand; a present Harry had bought him from a muggle shop. It read 3:30 A.M. He couldn't believe his party had lasted so long and he had missed so much. Harry's heavy eyelids closed but he didn't fall asleep. He didn't want to, in fear of more dreams. He didn't hear the door to the room crack open or Dumbledore's soft incantation that would give him dreamless sleep. He couldn't fight the sleep that pulled him down.
When Ron woke up the next morning, very late, he didn't wake Harry. All the Weasleys and the remaining party guests who'd spent the night crashed in tents in the Weasley's yard were under Dumbledore's orders not to wake Harry up. They spent the following day and evening tiptoeing around the house.
When Harry did finally wake up it was dark out and Harry had no idea how long he had been sleeping. He glanced at the clock on Ron's nightstand; it was quarter after two in the morning. That gave Harry some idea how long he had been asleep.
He climbed out from beneath the nest of blankets. Cold air rushed around him. This was one of the coldest summers Harry had ever known. Everything in the room was still; he couldn't hear Ron's breathing, or the ghoul in the attic.
Harry had the sudden urge to leave. He wanted to leave all of England behind. He felt like he didn't belong.
Harry took some parchment and a quill from his trunk. He scratched a short note to Mrs. Weasley and at the top he put the time on it. He would later wonder why he had put the time; it was something he did without thinking about it. He changed into the robes he had on during the party. He then grabbed some money from his trunk, his Invisibility Cloak, and from the corner of the room he retrieved his broom, all of which had been moved up to Ron's room while he had slept.
He moved around the room silently gathering the things he needed. He had become an expert at nighttime wanderings. He pulled the cloak tightly around himself and dropped his money bag into a pocket along with his wand. Harry forced open one of the windows in the room and he placed the note on the windowsill, with the quill and ink bottle on top to keep it from blowing away. Below, the garden stretched out; above, the cloudless sky. He jumped out of the window, never noticing the squeak of a rat.
Author's note: There you have it! The new and improved chapters one and two of my ongoing Harry Potter series. My posting is going to be more regular. I had decided not to update this story until I had redone these chapters. If you want to be notified of future up dates, leave an e-mail in your review.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, or settings in this chapter.
Aunt Petunia's Secret and Harry's Surprise
Chapter One
Harry lay awake for what seemed like the hundredth night that summer. He had relearned everything in his old school books (Hermione would be proud, studying for his OWLS so soon), he had finished all of his summer homework, and when he wasn't studying he was trying to fix Dudley's broken and discarded possessions. He ended up getting only a few hours of sleep each night. After the first few nights back at the Dursley's home he had nightmares filled with Voldemort, Cedric's ghost blaming him for what had happened, and Harry himself joining with Voldemort. The days after the dreams he was extremely uptight and nervous.
During the days he had the need to keep busy. He mowed the Dursley's yard, even though it didn't need it. He did yard work for some of the neighbors, too. The less time he had to think, the less time he spent replaying what had happened at the end of his fourth year in his mind. The Dursleys had plenty for him to do each day, so that when he did fall asleep, he would be too tired to be woken by his nightmares.
He still had the dreams, he just didn't remember them. He would wake covered in sweat, with Voldemort's shrill laugh still ringing in his ears and a fading picture in his mind. He never felt awake and well rested when he woke up every morning. And this morning was no different, though it was the morning of his birthday.
"Harry! Harry Potter you lazy boy, get up this minute!" his Aunt Petunia screeched as she opened the door to his room. A large barn owl, announcing its presence with a screech of its own, launched itself from the perch atop Harry's desk. It flapped its wings in Petunia's face, who swung at the bird but missed. She backed up into the railing next to the stairs, then sank to the floor in a heap, screaming.
The owl dropped a letter on her head that was addressed to Mrs. Petunia Dursley. "Vernon! Vernon, help! Harry sent a mad owl after me!" Aunt Petunia was screaming at the top of her lungs. Harry knew he was in trouble the moment she started screaming his name. He could hear his Uncle Vernon thundering up the stairs toward his room.
Vernon's beady little eyes took in the scene at the top of the stairs: Aunt Petunia on the floor with an owl on her knee, the letter clasped in her shaking hands; and then he looked at Harry.
"Vernon," Petunia said in a wavering voice, "The letter, it is addressed to me. Why would those… those freaks be writing to me?" she said, referring to the letter in her hand.
Harry took a step closer to the owl and it flew to him and landed on his shoulder. Harry brought it to his room - where he saw half a dozen owls waiting for him - and it flew in, settling upon his desk. He closed the door and turned to his Uncle, waiting for the blow to fall. And fall it did.
"You, boy," snarled Uncle Vernon turning on Harry. "How dare you frighten your Aunt like that?" Uncle Vernon was past the point of anger that made his face purple; it was a dark maroon color. Harry almost laughed at the color of his face thinking of how much Ron hated maroon.
Aunt Petunia caused a slight diversion by letting out a small yelp of terror as she read the letter. She held it up for Vernon to read when she had finished. He snatched it out of her hand and started to read. Harry and Petunia watched him; Harry with 'bated breath.
Harry was just dying to know what the letter said. He knew better than to try and grab it away. Although the Dursleys had never hit him very hard, he didn't believe that there wouldn't be a first time. They would probably also lock him in his room without food for a couple of days like they did before his second year at Hogwarts.
"Well, what rubbish," said Uncle Vernon when he had finished reading. He crumpled the letter up and went to put it in his pocket, but somehow he missed it. The letter landed on the floor. Harry watched as the letter rolled towards him. Petunia followed it with her eyes. With one quick movement he had stepped in front of the crumpled parchment. Petunia didn't say anything.
"Boy, back in your room. You can come out tomorrow. Not a word, Petunia, about this letter. Not a word," he said, putting emphasis on each word he spoke. Uncle Vernon helped Aunt Petunia up and Harry took that moment to kick the letter into his room. He was almost sure Petunia had seen him and given him a slight nod of her head. When he had closed the door behind him he heard the lock click from the outside.
Pig was flying around his room and twittering madly as he always did. Hedwig sat atop her cage with a parcel and a letter attached to her leg. Two school owls, not counting Petunia's, were perched on Harry's bedposts with letters attached to their legs.
Harry didn't mind being locked in his room as long as he could keep his mind off of Cedric and Voldemort, and if he could get some food. "Do they really think a stupid Muggle lock can keep me here?" he said out loud to himself as he picked up Petunia's letter and crossed to his bed. He had been able to pick locks, including the one on his door, since his second year. He didn't want to have to risk having a repeat of that particular summer.
Harry smoothed out the piece of parchment and sat on his bed, leaning back on the pillows. The letter was written in neat handwriting that looked like Professor McGonagall's. Harry read it out loud to himself.
Dear Mrs. Dursley,
Although you hav e never showed many signs of magic, your name has always been down to come to Hogwarts in the event that you grew into your ability. When you were eleven your magic rating was not high enough for you to be accepted into Hogwarts. However, just recently your rating has increased considerably. We are now sure that you have enough magical ability to succeed at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I do not know if you are aware that both your parents were squibs, or non-magical people, born into a magical family. Your grandparents, both sets, were magical, as were the rest of their children. Generations of your family have graduated from Hogwarts and I hope that tradition will continue.
Without further ado, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment that you will need to complete your first year of schooling.
Term begins on the first of September. We await your owl confirming that you will be at the school on the first. You are to take the Hogwarts Express from Kings Cross station, platform nine and three quarters. There will be a private compartment for Witches and Wizards starting their schooling after the age of eleven.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall.
So it was McGonagall's handwriting as Harry had guessed.
He groaned. Harry stared at the letter and reread it over and over again. He wouldn't have believed it if the letter had not been signed by the very strict Transfigurations teacher. The letter raised a multitude of intriguing questions, but all he could do was groan again at the thought of Petunia invading his life at Hogwarts.
Harry's stomach growled. He looked over at his clock; it was nigh onto lunchtime. He had been so absorbed in the letter that he'd forgotten about breakfast, much less lunch. He got up and went to his trunk, and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak and a set of what appeared to be plain old hairpins.
Fred and George Weasley had given the hairpins to Harry by owl post on the first day of summer break. Harry had thought they were ordinary hairpins until he saw the three W's scratched into the metal; the insignia for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, the twins' soon-to-be joke shop. The hairpins were enchanted to unlock all muggle locks. The twins thought they might come in handy after being locked up in his second year.
Harry covered himself in his cloak, making sure he was completely invisible, before going to the door. Putting the hairpins in the lock he said "Alohomor!" The activating spell was a deceptively simple variation on the 'Alohomora' spell that Hermione was so fond of. As far as Harry knew, he and the twins were the only ones who had a set of Weasleys' Help Yourself Hair Pins. After a few seconds the lock clicked open. He pocketed the hairpins and crept down the stairs, careful to step over the creaky bottom one. He moved across the floor cat-like to the kitchen.
Luckily for him, the kitchen door was open. When he walked into the kitchen, he saw his cousin Dudley's prodigious backside hanging out of the fridge. Dudley cradled an armload of food like a parent might cradle a child. Harry had to bite back his laughter or he would cause a real fright. 'But that could be fun in spite of the trouble I'd be in,' he thought, remembering how he'd once terrified Draco Malfoy at the Shrieking Shack. Dudley was talking to himself and to the food as he dug even deeper into the fridge. When he finally had more then he could easily carry he backed out of the fridge and waddled over to the table, dropping ham, ketchup (which exploded all over the floor) and a bottle of soda. Harry took this moment to dive into the still open fridge, as he was sure Dudley would be coming back for more. Harry grabbed what he could carry under his cloak.
When he was back in his room he relocked the door. Harry sat on the floor as he ate as fast as he could and then stashed the rest for later under the loose floorboard. Harry was still sitting on the floor, playing idly with the Invisibility Cloak, when he thought again about the letter. He was about to get up to have another look at it when an obnoxious hooting noise caused him to look up. His mouth dropped open in amazement.
Standing in the corner of the room was Harry's best friend Ron Weasley, along with his brothers Fred and George. "Took you long enough," said Ron. "Thought you went blind or something. Happy birthday Harry!" Ron grinned at him.
"Yes, Happy Birthday Harry, you old bean," said the twins bowing low to Harry. "The way you were sitting there eating that food it was like you hadn't eaten all day," said Fred with concern. They knew how bad Harry was treated.
"That," said Harry, "is because I haven't eaten. How- how did you guys get here?"
"Flew of course," said Ron as if that was obvious, although Harry couldn't see any brooms. "We got a bit of help from Bill. He enchanted our brooms to be invisible, so when we fly them we also become invisible."
Harry was about to reply when he heard the doorknob clicking as someone tried to open it from the outside. This was followed by a fumbling noise that was most likely either Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia emptying their pockets looking for their key. Harry tossed Fred his cloak. He motioned for them to be quiet. "Harry, Harry are you in there?" asked Aunt Petunia in a low voice.
'What a stupid question,' Harry thought, 'where else would I be.' The Dursleys didn't have to know about his Invisibility cloak.
"Harry, can I come in? I need to talk to you." Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only was Petunia asking for permission to enter but it sounded like she'd been crying.
"Er... come in," Harry said. He was glad that he had hidden his food when he had. He looked to the corner where the Weasleys were, making sure that he couldn't see a foot or any other appendage hanging out of the Invisibility Cloak.
The lock clicked open and in walked a very sad looking Aunt Petunia. "Can I sit down?" she asked. Without waiting for a reply she sat on Harry's bed. Harry pulled out the chair from his desk, turned it to face his Aunt and sat down. "Did you read the letter?" She didn't sound mad at him. "Do you still have that beautiful owl, so I can send my reply? Oh yes I see it. Lily had one just like that when she was in school. What should I say in this letter?
"Oh, I brought you up some snacks. I thought you might be hungry." Harry was starting to wonder if he'd really woken up that morning, for surely he must still be asleep and dreaming, but he gladly took a cookie off the plate she was holding out to him. He had never known his Aunt to go against his Uncle's wishes.
"So... Er... What do you want to say in your letter? I have some parchment and a quill you can use," said Harry. He took the writing supplies from his desk and handed them to her.
"Well, I want them to know that I can't wait to go to Hogwarts, after all I've been waiting my whole life to go there." For a few minutes she scribbled away on the parchment. When she had finished she handed the quill and parchment back to Harry. She watched as he attached the letter to the barn owl's leg. As the owl flew away, she started to talk again.
"Harry, I know I was never a good mother substitute for you, but it's just that you reminded me so much of your mother. I know no amount of "sorrys" will fix what this family did to you. When I was younger I really wanted to go to school with Lily. I was only a year older than she was. Years came and went, and I didn't get my letter. Lily continued to go back to school. It was really her second year when things started to change between us. That's the year that changed everything, Harry; she was really happy, she didn't miss me. I can't blame her for not missing me because I became very cold towards her. That school really changed our bond as sisters. She had so much fun at school with her friends and being top of her class.
"I really wanted to go more than anything. Now I can. Vernon told me that I wasn't allowed to go. And when I laughed at him, he said I had to choose between school and my family. He doesn't know that if I choose school then I get both. I get to go back to my family. They told me years ago that they didn't want to see me until I accepted Lily. I'm going to get back in touch with my family and you get to come too. I haven't told Vernon my decision yet, Harry." Petunia was in tears. "I'm leaving Vernon."
Chapter Two
Harry's mind reeled. Was Petunia telling the truth? Could she ever really leave Vernon? And did he really have family he didn't know, and if so, why had Dumbledore given Harry to the Dursleys to raise? Harry felt a presence by his side; the Weasleys had come up quietly to stand next to him. Ron whispered in his ear, putting voice to Harry's thoughts. Harry shrugged his shoulders at Ron, but from Petunia's perspective it looked like he was shrugging her off. Her face fell.
"Does that mean you don't want to come with me?" Petunia look older then Harry had ever seen her, her beady eyes still watery from her tears and her face all blotchy. Harry also noticed for the first time the creases on her face, a deep line between her eyebrows, smaller lines around the corners of her eyes and mouth. All of the lines had gotten there over years of scowling and glaring at Harry.
"No. That it isn't it. I mean, I just can't believe-," Harry sputtered and foundered about. "Let me recap on what you just said: you're leaving Uncle Vernon to go to Hogwarts and you're taking me with you? Does that cover it?"
Petunia laughed. Harry's hopes fell, he knew it was too good to be true; but Petunia was smiling at him. A genuine smile. "Harry, you didn't really think I would leave you here? Vernon never was your guardian; I hate to think what would happen to you. He would really beat the stuffing out of you if he got the idea that you had anything to do with my leaving." She paused to look at Harry but he just stared back at her. "I would love to take you to meet your grandparents, my mom and dad that is. And your great Aunts and Uncles. They've all got a fair share of magic in them." Harry was looking at her with wide eyes, thoughts of a large family that wanted him running wildly through his head. Then his face fell; what if they didn't like him, what if they blamed him for happened so many years ago to his mum? Petunia noticed his rapid change in face.
"Whatever is the matter Harry? I would have thought you would be happy to meet more of your family."
"What if they don't like me?" he looked down at his hands when he heard just how silly that sounded, and then he looked back up at Petunia. He could see that she was trying not to laugh at his sudden self- consciousness.
"They liked you when you were a wee baby riding Lily's hip. Our cousins liked you too, but you would just cling to Lily and James. Almost like you knew you wouldn't have much time with them."
Harry looked relieved. "I don't remember them."
"I didn't think you would, you were just a little thing when you met my cousins."
"Not them, my parents. I don't remember them."
Petunia started to say something, but then closed her mouth again. She didn't know what to say to the boy who she had considered a burden for almost fifteen years. "I never should have treated you the way I did, I'm..."
"Don't," said Harry. It wasn't that he didn't want her to apologize to him, but he wasn't ready to hear it from her. She was right about what she had said earlier; nothing could change how she had treated him. How she'd let other people treat him. Sorrys couldn't give him his childhood back. Harry tuned out Petunia's voice as she droned on about something to do with holidays with Vernon's family. He was filled with a blind rage against the woman sitting on his bed. He clenched and unclenched his hands as memories washed over him; his first true memories, not the dreams of green light or the flying motorcycle, but of being locked in the cupboard, being yelled at for reasons he didn't understand. He felt his face screw up; he quickly closed his eyes and looked down.
One of the Weasleys put a hand on his shoulder; he was pretty sure it was Ron again. He felt, rather then heard, the words, "Hang in there."
Petunia was still going on about the holidays. "My family," she was saying, "hasn't even met Dudley. I would never take him to my parents' house for the holidays. I wouldn't have gone at all if mother hadn't forced me. She threatened to write me out of her will. I bet she would let us live with them until we can get our own house. We could get a small house in one of those magical villages the wizard folk live in. What do you think?" she asked Harry. The aged tiredness was gone, replaced with little kid excitement.
"Sure," Harry said off-handedly. She didn't seem to notice his less then enthusiastic reply; she kept on talking like he hadn't said anything.
"I don't think we should tell Vernon or Dudley about my leaving. Is there a place that you could stay for the rest of summer? You would be better off somewhere else."
"Er..." Was all he said because Ron was whispering in his ear again. "I could stay with the Weasleys. They had invited me over today be owl post."
"That's not Arthur Weasley, is it?" asked Aunt Petunia. Harry just nodded his head yes. "He came to some of Lily's later birthday parties with his girlfriend. Lily's friends were some kind of fun." A dreamy look spread over her face and she exhaled with a sigh that sounded allot like 'Remus Lupin'.
Harry started choking on the cookie he was eating. Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and Harry was sure that his Aunt didn't know that. He was hoping that his Aunt didn't fancy him, but judging by the look on her face she did. The thought of Petunia and Lupin together made Harry shudder.
Petunia was asking him how soon he would be ready to go, because the sooner he left the better for him. He told her that he could leave as soon as he was packed, which wouldn't take long. Petunia made to leave, but paused from closing the door behind her to crane her rather large neck through the gap, "Oh, Harry, Happy fourteenth - I mean fifteenth birthday." She closed the door with a snap. Harry could hear her feet on the stairs.
Harry saw Ron pulling off the cloak. The twins appeared beside him. "Are you all right, Harry?" Ron asked him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." They didn't look like they accepted his answer. "Let's pack this stuff up and get out of here!" The twins' faces broke into identical grins, a Weasley twin trademark. "All right Harry!" said Fred, coming over and thumping him on the back.
"You get to leave the Dursleys forever. Who would of thought?" said George as he too came up to congratulate Harry.
"Well what you waiting for Harry, lets pack this stuff up!" said an overly excited Ron, waving his arms around Harry's room. Harry and the Weasleys ran around the room scooping up Harry's belongings and dropping them into the trunk. Harry untied all his packages from the owls and sent them off, then put the packages in his trunk, deciding to open them later. He noticed one from Headmaster Dumbledore; he made a mental note to open that one first. Dumbledore had never sent him a package at home before. Then the four of them ran down the stairs to say goodbye.
"Cheery O!" they said in unison, to the shock of the assembled Dursleys. Dudley ran squealing like a pig out of the living room. Harry and the Weasleys broke into fits of laughter and rushed back up the stairs.
"What about the trunk? How can we bring it, when we can't use magic?" asked Harry, looking from Ron to Fred and then George. Harry was sure his broom couldn't carry both the heavy trunk and him.
"Oh right, almost forgot about that," said Ron, smacking his forehead. From a pocket in his jacket he pulled out a small jar. In the jar Harry could see a small piece of parchment. Ron handed the jar to Harry. Harry had no idea what he was supposed to do with it. He just stared at it, until Ron said, "Harry, open the jar and tip the parchment into your trunk. Don't touch it yourself or you will become feather light."
Harry did as Ron had told him to do. When the parchment touched the contents in the trunk it seemed to sink into Harry's belongings. He had to quickly close the trunk because his robes had begun to float out of it. "What is that?" asked Harry.
"That is a very helpful little bit of parchment, Harry. It will make anything feather light. Bill enchanted it for us, he is always happy to help us out when we need it. Let's tie that trunk to your broom and go," said Fred. Fred helped Harry balance the trunk and tie it to the Firebolt.
"Harry, fly up into the clouds when we leave and don't worry, you won't have any trouble following us," said George. "All right, let's get out of here." He grabbed his broom and was gone. Fred did the same. Ron took his broom and as he flew out the window he gave a loud whoop. Harry could only imagine how Ron was flying.
Harry made sure he and the trunk were covered with the Invisibility cloak before he flew out the window. He let himself drop almost to the ground before he pulled out of the dive. He flew straight up towards the clouds and when he burst though he saw the Weasleys hovering on their brooms just above him. Harry did a double take. "You guys are supposed to be invisible. Did the charm wear off? My trunk isn't going to get heavy, is it?" he asked, turning around to touch his trunk and hoping it wouldn't suddenly weigh him down.
"Harry you prat, if we stay invisible we would lose each other, or our voices from calling out to each other. We are only invisible when a muggle from the ground can see us," explained Ron.
They flew in silence for a while. So many thought were chasing each other around Harry's mind. 'What a day,' he thought. He couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts. He was so hoping that this year would be better than last year, 'But probably not with Voldemort being back and having me on his most wanted list,' Harry thought sourly. One thought overrode even thoughts of Voldemort. He just had to ask it out loud. "If your dad knows my Aunt how come they didn't recognize each other last year when they met?" Harry asked.
"I don't know Harry. I don't remember if Dad formally introduced himself when they met last year. Maybe they look allot different," said Fred. "But hey look on the bright side, we are making great time. We will be right on time for Er, um-" Fred's voice trilled off. He and the other Weasleys became invisible again as they passed over a small village; Harry was reminded that he'd been invisible to them for the entire trip.
"On time for what?" Harry asked.
"Dinner."
"Our favorite radio program."
"To play Quidditch." Harry heard three disembodied voices. When the Weasleys came back into view they looked guilty about something; their faces and ears were bright red.
"Er, right," said Harry. He was starting to wonder why they had just showed up at his house on his birthday, without so much as a hint in any of their letters that they were coming. Harry didn't say anything else about it; if they were playing at something Harry didn't want to get in the way or ruin it.
Every now and then one of the Weasleys would fly down below the clouds to make sure they were still going the right way. Talking was at a minimum as they flew. The air was turning cold as the sun sunk below the clouds.
Ron and Harry dipped down beneath the clouds and found themselves right above The Burrow, the Weasley family home. They went back up above the clouds to tell the twins. The four landed very neatly on the front lawn and dismounted their brooms. Harry pulled off the Invisibility Cloak as they walked up the path. Ron pulled open the front door, shoving Harry inside first.
The first thing Harry noticed was darkness. Then the interior torches all lit up at once; balloons, streamers, and bits of confetti fell from the ceiling getting stuck in Harry's hair. "Surprise!" yelled at least fifty voices, including Ron and the twins who were grinning from ear to ear and looking very pleased with themselves. A big banner unrolled that said "Happy Birthday Harry!" It was a handmade banner done in the distinctive style of Gryffindor's resident artist Dean Thomas. Harry stared in shock at his first ever surprise birthday party. Lee Jordan pushed a butterbeer into his hand. He was surrounded by friends from Hogwarts, all crammed into The Burrow's front rooms.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Ron.
Ron scanned the room but came up empty. "I don't know. When we left to get you she seemed a bit put out, and snappy. Maybe it's that time of the -"
"Ron!" said a sharp voice from behind the boys. Ginny was standing behind them glaring at Ron. Harry took note of the fact that she was wearing a blue summer dress. It was the first time he'd ever seen her in such a feminine garment. "Don't talk about your friend like that." Ginny moved closer to Harry, almost until they were touching; Harry unthinkingly took a step back. She yelled something over the noise, but he couldn't make out her words. He leaned closer again so he could hear her.
"A black dog is in Ron's room!" She winked at him. "I'll find Hermione for you!"
"Thanks!" he yelled back so she could hear him. Harry and Ron pushed their way through the crowd of people all the way up the stairs. Everyone that they passed told Harry to have a great birthday. Upon opening the door Harry saw a great big black dog sitting on Ron's bed. "Hello Sirius." The dog became a man.
"Hullo Harry, happy birthday. How you holding up?" asked Sirius, looking at Harry closely. He knew Harry wasn't doing as well as he looked. He could see how tired his eyes looked, they had lost their sparkle; the bags under his eyes made him look older than fifteen, and he looked skinnier. Sirius was hoping that some time here would help Harry move past Cedric's death.
"I'm- I'm great Sirius. This has to be my best birthday ever. You're looking better yourself, how long have you been here and how long are you staying?" asked Harry. He noticed that Sirius was losing the starved look that Azkaban had given him, but his eyes still looked a little haunted.
"I'm here for the rest of the summer unless Dumbledore needs me. I've been staying with the Weasleys for the past week. They all know I'm not the dog that they thought I was," said Sirius with a tight smile. "But the guest of honor should not be missing his party and his friends shouldn't let him. We'll talk soon Harry," added Sirius, and with a 'pop' he was back to his dog self.
As they headed back down the many flights of stairs they caught up with Hermione. She gave Harry a searching look that made him squirm. "You didn't turn your relatives into squids, did you Harry?" she asked. She also sent Ron a look that clearly said that if Harry was in trouble, Ron must be involved. The familiarity of it got past Harry's defenses, and the laughter he shared with Ron in that moment was doubly good because he'd been secretly afraid he'd lost the capacity for it. "Oh honestly," she said, as she too started to giggle.
The party was highly enjoyable. The trio made the rounds, talking and laughing with their friends. At one point Harry lost Ron and Hermione in the crowd. He found Ron talking with some of the Gryffindors. Hermione wasn't with them.
Harry stood on his toes to see over the people flocking to an empty patch of floor in sets of two. There was going to be dancing, apparently. He saw Hermione standing in a corner with a faraway look on her face, but now he wanted to find Cho Chang. He kept scanning the room, but he didn't see her anywhere. He didn't even know if Cho was at the party.
He saw Fred Weasley appear in front of Hermione, talking to her with his back to Harry. She smiled sweetly up at him; Harry had never seen her look at anyone like that before. She let Fred lead her off to an empty spot on the floor. Ron had apparently seen them, too, for he was glaring at them and muttering under his breath.
Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, came up to Ron and drew his attention away from Fred and Hermione. She asked him to dance and he agreed at once, taking her arm with a wide grin on his face he led her onto the floor. Harry was a little disappointed to be left alone, but that thought had hardly formed when Cho showed up.
"Hi Harry, happy birthday," Cho said.
"Thanks." There was a short silence as Cho regarded him with large brown eyes. "How are you doing?" he finally asked, as he remembered the leaving feast and how sad she had been when Cedric had died. Her eyes still shone as if with unshed tears.
"I'm getting there. How about you, are you okay?" she asked. Her voice caught in her throat, a clear giveaway to Harry that she wasn't doing great but just didn't want to let him know it.
"Yeah, me too, I'll be fine soon," Harry said. He couldn't tell her about his dreams. He could see in her eyes that she didn't feel the same way about him as she had about Cedric. A hint of resentment was there mixed with the sadness. They talked awhile about the coming school year, Quidditch, and their summer breaks.
Hermione returned to Harry's side with a big grin on her face; Cho excused herself and left them. "So why are you looking so happy?" Harry teased. "Did you have some fun with Fred?" She looked at him and smiled wider, which Harry didn't think would have been possible.
"Have you seen Ron? Where did he go?" she asked. Something in the tone of her voice didn't quite match her bright and happy expression.
"He went to dance with Hannah Abbott." Harry said. "So what's going on with you and Krum?" Hermione didn't respond to his gentle jibe. She started to stare off into space again, so Harry decided to leave off with the banter. When Ron returned he was red in the face and smirking. Right away he started in on Hermione about her and Fred, but she didn't seem to hear anything that he asked her. Ron gave up; he looked at Harry and rolled his eyes.
"Ron, leave Hermione alone." Ginny was back. "She can dance with Fred if she wants to." She did something behind the boys' backs that caused Hermione to snicker. Ron's eyes narrowed and Harry knew that a Weasley sibling battle was now under way.
"Oh, I know," said Ron with considerable glee. "Why don't you dance with Ginny, Harry?"
Ginny's face turned as crimson as her hair. "You don't have to, Harry," she said quickly.
"He would love to dance with you Ginny, wouldn't he Hermione?" Hermione didn't take any notice of Ron. Ron gave Harry a little push towards Ginny. Harry could feel heat rising in his face. Trying to salvage Ginny's dignity as well as his own, he said, "Sure I'd love to dance with you, Ginny." She didn't look completely convinced, but she allowed Harry to lead her to a clear part of the floor.
They started to dance. He was very surprised to feel how small and fragile she felt in his arms. Her interaction with her brothers had given Harry a perception of her as being sturdy. Pulling her to him brought back a sensory memory of when he'd held her in the Camber of Secrets, which was not as unwelcome a flashback as he would have expected. His hands moved farther around her and met bare flesh – dear God, her dress was backless!
She pulled away from him, leaving Harry feeling slightly put out. She turned away from him slightly as if she meant to leave but Harry put his hands around her waist to keep her there. She looked up at Harry with an unreadable expression in her bright brown eyes. She licked her lips – such pretty lips, Harry noticed for the first time – and opened them to say something. Then she sneezed, and sneezed again.
"Bless you," said Harry.
"Thanks." She pulled a tissue from her pocket. "I've got a bit of a summer cold. Been trying to get rid of it for all this week."
"Maybe you're allergic to something?" Harry suggested.
"That could be," she said with a wry smile. They settled into the dance again, Harry being careful this time to keep his hands on her waist. She tilted her head up so she could see into his eyes. He looked down into her face, so familiar yet so new, taking in her red-gold hair and the light dusting of freckles across her nose. Her lips began moving, but Harry couldn't hear a word she was saying. Sound was pushing in on his ears, roaring all around him. Voices, music and wind pressed in on him. He couldn't hear Ginny above the roar that had surrounded him. "Ginny?" He couldn't even hear his own voice.
She had stopped talking and was now looking at him with concern. Her lips were still moving, the only clue that she was trying to say anything. Harry watched as her lips formed the same word repeatedly. His name, he realized. As he stood there looking at her, he could see that she was growing angry with him, but he try as he might, he couldn't manage to make out anything she was saying.
The noise from the party felt like it was pressing in on him, as voices swirled by him. Harry couldn't make any sense out of any of it. 'I'm going crazy,' he thought. Then all at once everything turned back to normal. Ginny stomped away from him, pushing her way through the crowd of party-goers. She wore a hurt expression on her face from being snubbed by Harry.
Harry's first thought was to go after her and try to explain. 'How?' Harry asked himself. He didn't know how to make it right again. Would she believe him if he told her the truth about what had just happened; and if she did, would she write him off as crazy? Hermione would know what to do, he was sure, but he didn't see her anywhere. He was going to go and find her when Ron stepped in front of him, blocking his way.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked Harry. Harry was relieved to see that Ron wasn't mad at him. "Are you all right Harry? You look a little funny." He studied Harry's face. "Maybe you should go outside and get some air, it's a little hot in here."
"That sounds like a good idea. But what about Ginny?" he asked. "Do you think I should go after her?" Harry still wasn't feeling quite right. Maybe Ron was right, it was hot inside, and he might just need some fresh air.
"Too iffy. She has her own amount of the Weasley temper. Mind you she looks about ready to curse you into oblivion." He paused. "I think you should let someone else go and talk to her. Don't worry, we will take care of it, Hermione and I, that is."
Harry nodded. "Thanks. I'm going to go outside for a bit. I'll see you later." He tried to sound normal, but the weird feeling was coming back.
Harry pushed through all the people and out the back door into the night air. He saw more people in the garden. Even the garden gnomes had come out to enjoy the party. He kept walking, past the people sitting amongst the flowers on benches, past the last bed of flowers, and past the point where he could hear the music from the party. He reached the stone wall that he and the Weasley boys had flung gnomes over one summer. He climbed onto the wall and walked along it. The Burrow disappeared as he followed the bend in the stone wall.
He was busy looking at his feet to make sure he wouldn't fall off the wall when he felt goose pimples rise on his arms. A coldness that felt like he was in a block of ice surrounded him. The stones he was walking on shone like they too were covered in ice. "Hello Harry." Harry almost fell off the wall in shock. He jumped down onto the grass.
Hovering above the stone wall where he had just been was the ghostly form of Cedric. "Hello," he said again.
Harry could see through him like any ghost. He was trying to get over the shock of walking through Cedric; it was a nasty one. "Hello Cedric," he said, once he finally found his voice.
"Earlier, when you were talking to Ginny Weasley, and you couldn't make out anything she was saying, that was sort of my doings. Sorry that I got you in a bit of hot water." He gave Harry an apologetic smile. "So how have you been?" Cedric asked as if he nothing was wrong, as if he was still alive and was just a guest at Harry's fifteenth birthday party.
"I'm-" Harry took a deep breath, it was like he was back to telling everybody he was fine when he couldn't feel worse than he did. "I'm just fine, I guess."
Cedric studied him; he clearly didn't believe a word that he had just said. "Have you been to my grave, Harry?"
"No, I'm sorry." Harry had never even thought to go see his grave, even if he did know where it was.
"Don't be; sorry, that is. The point of my being here isn't for you to come to pay your respects."
"Then what?" Harry hoped Cedric wasn't going to haunt him, like Moaning Myrtle did with her toilet. His concern must have shown on his face, for Cedric laughed a little at him.
"Don't worry Harry, I'm not here to haunt you. Do you know what it says on my grave stone?" Harry didn't have the faintest idea what was on his grave. "It says RIP, or rest in peace. Harry I can't rest in peace if you keep bringing me back for nightly visits to your dreams, where I get to star.
"For me to rest in peace you have to stop reliving what happened, and for that to happen you have to forgive yourself. It's not your fault that I died. You know that don't you Harry? Nobody is blaming you."
"I am," Harry said. "If I hadn't talked you into taking the cup with me you'd be alive."
"It's not the time to play the 'What If' game. It can go on for ages, and it will tear you up. Go back to the party Harry, try to work things out with Ginny, and have fun. Remember what I told you Harry, it's not your fault. Good-bye Harry."
"Good-bye Cedric," Harry said. Cedric faded from view but his words hung in the air. They echoed and reechoed in Harry's head. He knew it would be hard to forgive himself, but he had to try.
Harry walked slowly back to the party, thoughts swirling inside his head. He hoped that seeing Cedric and hearing what he had to say would help him move on. He was sure that he would get more sleep tonight.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Ron when he was back inside. He wanted to ask her about Ginny. Neither of the two girls were anywhere to be seen.
"Not sure," said Ron. "Have you noticed anything different about her?"
"Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, she has been acting a little off from the moment she arrived here a week ago."
"Maybe you're overreacting," Harry suggested.
"Ginny noticed too, it isn't just me. She'll be all normal, as normal as she can be, like when you first got here. She was all happy to see you. She was even cracking jokes, but then that's not very Hermione-like, come to think of it. But anyway, she has hardly talked to you since you got here."
Harry pondered this. Hermione hadn't really said anything to him. "Have you asked her if she's all right?"
"Ginny did. Ginny said that Hermione didn't respond to her, not even to make an excuse for the way she was acting. Ginny wouldn't let it be, and Hermione blew up at her. I was standing right outside Ginny's bedroom so I heard the whole thing, and I'm telling you, it didn't sound like Hermione."
"How so?" asked Harry. He scanned the crowd but he couldn't find her.
"Well you know how Hermione is when she's mad? She'll get all red in the face and the likes, and believe me, I've had more then my fair share of rows with her, so I should know."
"What happened?" Harry was dying to know, and Ron was just dragging the story out.
"Well," said Ron, "after she finished yelling at Ginny, with no big words mind you, she pulled open the door with almost enough force to take it off its hinges. But the weird thing was she looked perfectly calm. She wasn't red in the face or anything. She didn't even give me an earful for listening in. She disappeared for the rest of the day. Ginny was frantic, thought she had run away."
"Maybe we should talk to her. Find out what's going on with her." Ron was right, that whole episode didn't sound like Hermione at all.
"Talk to whom?" Hermione was right there, as if summoned by the sound of her name. Ron raised his eyebrows and cocked his head towards her, all the while giving Harry a strange look. He did all this without Hermione giving any hint that she had noticed, even though she was facing him.
"Um, Ginny. She went away in a huff earlier, and we were wondering if she's okay," lied Harry.
"I'll go get her, she's in her room." Hermione swept away without as much as a backwards glance.
"Now don't tell me that's not strange," said Ron, "her coming over here when we were talking about her."
"Yeah, and she didn't seem to notice the look you gave her," Harry said. "But what do I do about Ginny?"
"Too late," muttered Ron. Hermione had returned with Ginny in tow. Ginny glared at Harry, looking very intimidating.
"What," she snapped at Harry, "do you want?" Ron nodded enthusiastically at Harry behind Ginny's back.
"Do you want to walk with me?" Harry tentatively asked her. Harry offered her his arm. She took it, spun on her heel and marched towards the back door dragging Harry with her. Harry looked over his shoulder at Ron, who gave him a sympathetic look. Hermione was gone again, Harry noted.
On their way out the back door, Ginny grabbed a cloak off one of the hooks. In one fluid motion she had the cloak wrapped around her body. The night air had cooled considerably since Harry had come back from talking with Cedric. She sat down on one of the benches in the garden. Harry followed her lead. The music from inside was still loud.
She was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Harry wracked his brain. He didn't know why she was so mad at him, and he didn't know of anything to make her feel better. Maybe flattery would do the trick.
"So talk!" she snapped at him again.
He decided to go with flattery. "You look nice, Ginny."
She made a disgruntled noise. "Oh please Harry, we both know you don't mean that. Did you listen to a single thing I said earlier?"
"No, I didn't. I couldn't hear anything beside a jumble of sound that didn't make any sense to me."
"Yeah, and that doesn't make any sense to me. I would think someone like you could come up with a better excuse then that."
Harry didn't know what to say to her still. "I haven't been sleeping well, because of what happened," Harry said lamely. "I haven't slept more the four hours each night. Four nightmare-filled hours. I see Cedric die, Voldemort come back, and I see him kill all my friends!"
"You're not asleep, Harry. You should be able to listen to someone when they talk to you. You're not having any trouble now. So why then Harry, what happened?"
"Can we just drop this?" Harry asked her. He was tired and he didn't want to be sitting outside in the cold. And he really didn't want to explain about Cedric.
"We can't just drop it Harry. I meant what I said!"
"I don't know what you said! Can you just tell me again?" Harry was getting frustrated with her.
"No!" she snarled at him. Harry got the sudden impulse to back away from her. "Maybe if you had apologized to me instead of lying to me!" Ginny was red in the face and breathing hard. She jumped off the bench and walked away from him, her back straight and her cloak billowing out behind her.
"I'm sorry! I really am, Ginny," Harry yelled after her. Harry wasn't sure if she heard him, but her steps faltered and she shook her head, her hair rippling across her back with the movement. It looked like she was going to turn around, but instead she put her hand up to her face. Harry suspected that she had just brushed a tear away.
Harry sat on the bench long after Ginny had disappeared back inside The Burrow. He was glad, for once, of the dark that pushed in on him trying to swallow him. Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the swish of the cloak as someone sat down next to him.
Harry sat oblivious to the person next to him for five minutes; he would have sat there longer if the other hadn't started to talk. "Harry do you want to talk about it?"
Harry gave a start when the soft voice broke into his thoughts. Harry looked up, saying "Professor Dumbledore what are you doing here, Sir?"
"Well Harry, is this not the day that your friends, family and the people who care about you honor the day that you were born? Am I right in thinking that you didn't expect any of your professors to come to your birthday party?" He smiled down at Harry, but his smile faltered upon seeing how tired and rundown Harry looked. Dumbledore flicked his wand and two pieces of yellow cake appeared out of thin air. "Cake Harry?" He handed one piece to Harry and conjured two forks with another flick of his wand. They ate in silence for a while, just enjoying the night.
"So, Harry I heard that the Weasleys came and rescued you from the Dursleys. Do you want to talk about that, or about anything else?"
Harry took a deep breath and stared talking. He talked about how he hadn't slept through the night for months. He talked about what his Aunt had told him. He talked about his flight to the Burrow, and about Sirius, Cho, Ron, and his troubles with Ginny, and even Hermione's strange behavior. He went through the whole story of what had happened between Ginny and himself, including Cedric's visitation. He told Dumbledore what Cedric had said to him, and how he didn't know how to forgive himself.
"This is the best birthday ever, but it's all falling apart. Better than any the Dursleys gave me, that's for sure," Harry said, feeling really pitiful.
Dumbledore looked down at him. "Well I see. You have had quite a day Harry, but you should know that everybody is here for you, even ghosts. You should know that Cedric's words are true, nobody blames you. Do try and remember that.
"I'll try to keep a close eye on Hermione if that will make you feel any better. But now Harry, I think it is time to go back. Everybody is missing us. Although they might just be wanting some of your chocolate cake. Come along Harry," said Dumbledore. He stood up, lighting his wand to lead the way.
Harry got up slowly and stumbled along behind him. He hadn't realized just how tired he really was. He was exhausted. Every step felt like his legs were made of lead, and his eyelids kept trying to flicker shut of their own accord.
When they walked back into the house it erupted with cheers. Harry looked around and grinned to see all the people he cared about smiling back at him. Dumbledore led him up to the front of the living room to stand behind his cake, which was huge and had an amazingly accurate likeness of Harry catching the snitch on it.
Dumbledore waited for the room to quiet down before he started to talk. "Welcome to Harry's birthday party! Now why is it I see people from all the houses but Slytherin?" He smiled around at all the people there. Harry did too. Dumbledore was speaking again.
"I think it's about high time we sing to Harry. Shall I conduct the song?" He waved his wand and music notes came out of it with lyrics floating underneath. Dumbledore started singing, but it wasn't the "Happy Birthday" song.
'Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please
Whether we be old and bald... '
"Oh dear me, wrong song." He flicked his wand again and this time the correct music lines came out of it. Harry wasn't listening; he was thinking about the school song. The last line made him think of Petunia coming to Hogwarts.
When the song had finished Harry blew out the candles, made a wish for a normal school year, and started to cut the cake. He took the piece with the golden snitch on it. He walked around as he ate, mingling with his friends. They talked about the coming school year, the Quidditch season and of course new ways to get the Slytherins and Snape.
"So I wondered who is going to be our Defense against the Dark Arts professor," said Harry through a mouth full of rich chocolate cake.
"Yeah, who or what, you mean Harry," said Neville joining the conversation. They talked away about this and that. Harry was slowly forgetting about Ginny and Cedric. Ginny wasn't anywhere around, or Hermione for that matter.
He was about to point out Hermione's absence to Ron, but no sooner had he opened his mouth to do so than she was she standing in front of him. "Hello Hermione," Harry said above the noise from the party.
"You're here finally! I was wondering when you were going to come. It's so good to see you again!" She tossed her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.
Harry was taken aback by her second warm welcome. He pulled away from her so he could look her in the face. "Hermione," he said slowly, "I've been here for the longest time. You've already said hello to me. Are you all right?"
Harry watched as her happy exterior melted away. She withdrew her arms from him, but didn't move away; they were still touching. Harry moved back but she closed the distance. "Why does everybody keep asking me that? I'm fine, I couldn't be any better!" she hissed at Harry.
"You just seem a little off, and we're worried about you." She was making Harry very anxious.
She scoffed at him. A smirk played on her face and a gleam sparked in her eyes. "I'm touched, Harry, that you're worried about me." Sarcasm oozed from her words. "Nice to know you can get away from your fan club long enough to pay attention to me."
"What do you mean by that, Hermione?" Her words had stung. When had he ever been too busy for her and Ron? He asked her just that.
"You, Ron, Ginny, my parents, who has time for me? All of you think I've gone mad, maybe you haven't noticed that you're the ones who have changed."
"No one has changed Hermione, Ron and I are how we've always been. We're worried about you."
Hermione laughed at him. She touched his forearm, letting her fingers linger there. Harry looked at her hand. A flash of red over Hermione's head caught his eye. Ron was watching them. His eyes moved from Hermione's hand up to look Harry in the eye. His eyebrows were knitted together. Harry was relieved to see he wasn't mad; the look on his face was the same one he wore when he was writing an essay for McGonagall. Like he was working something out…
Hermione's eyes were traveling over his body, making Harry very uncomfortable. Her voice was low when she spoke, "I think there is more to it than that, Harry."
Harry swallowed. He took her hand off his arm and made to drop her hand by her side but her fingers had closed around his. "Hermione? What are you doing?"
She leaned in closer to him, standing on tiptoes. Her mouth was next to his ear. She still had his hand in hers, and her other hand was resting on his chest. He attempted to pull away from her but she moved closer. "I think it was you Harry." Her words reached his ear like a hiss.
"Wha-what was me?" he stuttered. Her grip on his fingers was uncannily strong.
"You killed him, Harry." Her voice was still a hiss. Her breath wafted across his ear and stirred his hair; a shiver ran up his spine. "You killed Cedric." Harry stumbled backwards as if he'd been pushed, which any onlooker might have assumed had happened considering the way Hermione grimaced at him. She wiped her hands on her robes, like she had something foul on them.
"You know I didn't! I-"
"-only know what you've told us. Maybe you lied to me, to everyone." She turned to run away, but Harry grabbed her by the arm. He spun her around to look at him.
"It was all a game to you before wasn't it?" Harry growled at her, "finding the stone, surviving the basilisk, facing Sirius, that was all fun for you until somebody died. I can't understand you Hermione!"
"You don't understand what it's like to be your friend, how much worry comes with it." Hermione looked close to tears.
Ron was still hovering behind her, listening to everything, and watching every movement that Harry and Hermione made. He seemed to be scanning the crowd of people, looking for someone. When he didn't find who he was looking for, his eyes settled back on Harry and Hermione.
"You don't think I've thought about that? Every night when I'm plagued by nightmares? Nightmares where I see you die?" Harry bellowed at her above the noise of the party. "You're the one who can't understand what it is like to have two friends that you care about more than anything, more than my own life. If you don't know that, then I don't think you know who I am."
"Maybe you're right, maybe you're not, but I know more about you than you do. Perhaps I wish that troll had finished me off." Ron was beside her now.
"Don't say that, Hermione." Ron reached for her, touching her arm lightly, but she brushed him off. "We need you. You're the one that holds us together, you hold me together."
Hermione scoffed at him. "You need my homework. I'm just a talking book to you two."
Ron stared at her. "You don't mean that," he said. Harry was waiting for him to blow up, to stomp away mad and not talk to Hermione for months, but what he did was worse. He didn't say anything more to her, just turned and retreated to the other side of the room. Harry watched him leave.
"Come off it Hermione. I don't know what's wrong with you, but you've got to knock it off. We haven't done anything to you."
"Right," drawled Hermione, "because being friends with the two of you is just a breeze. Ron's always yelling at me, and being your friend is like hanging 'round a time bomb."
"Do you regret becoming our friend? Is that what this is all about?" Harry was livid; it was all he could do to not lose it. "Maybe I should have made friends with Malfoy when I had the chance. Let him corrupt me, and give him the power he wants."
"You don't have any real power Harry. You need smarts to get power." She touched his arm again. Her breath tickled his neck, her mouth was so close to his ear. Her hand was on his leg, slowly moving up. Harry was having a hard time controlling himself as her fingers danced across his leg. He pulled her hand away from his thigh.
"Stop it Hermione," he growled at her. "I'm sick of your mind games."
She pulled back to look at him, and smiled. "I've got more games." She licked her lips, and her smile grew. "So, you see me die in your dreams? Is it a slow painful death or do you just wave your wand, say the words and get on with it?"
Harry's throat went dry. "Why do you think I'm the one who-" he finished in a whisper, not audible above the music, "kills you?" He wasn't about to tell her about his nightmares, not after what she had said to him.
"That's right, you don't have the gall to harm anyone," she sneered at him, "you would just stand by and watch."
Harry had had it. "Why don't you go back home were you belong, Mudblood!" Harry yelled at her, but the second the words flew from his mouth he wanted to snatch them out of the air. He saw Ron moving throw the crowd, he was glaring at Harry. It was like he had radar for any insult aimed at Hermione.
Harry wasn't expecting the smile that slid onto her face. She looked deranged with her hair bushing out behind her, her eyes were wide and staring, and that smile. Nor was he expecting Hermione's next move. Hermione slapped him upside the face, three times before Ron grabbed her slender wrist. Harry staggered backwards from the force of the blows, his hand holding his stinging face. His glasses had been knocked to the floor, and he almost crushed them.
"How dare you say that to me Harry," she hissed at him. Tears streaked down her face. The tears were so different from the crazed look that had been on her face before she had hit him. She was struggling against Ron, trying to go at Harry again. Ron held her tight.
"I'm going to go up to bed now," Harry said. He pushed pass Ron and Hermione. Ron was gawking at him. Harry half-hoped that Ron would stop him from leaving and force them to apologize. As he brushed by Hermione she lunged for him, but couldn't reach him.
"The rise and Fall of Dark Lords, read it Harry. You will find some answers to questions you don't even know yet!" Hermione's voice shook in anger and had a very deadly sound to it as she yelled after him. He wasn't sure what she was going on about.
Harry pushed by more people while holding onto his stinging cheek. Most people moved out of his way but one dance couple was too wrapped up in each other to notice Harry. He didn't notice them until he ran into them. He turned to say sorry and saw Colin holding onto Ginny so she wouldn't lose her balance. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, his top lip still numb from Hermione's stinging slap.
He caught a glimpse of Ron holding onto Hermione saying comforting words to her. She had stopped fighting him and was now crying into his shirt; Harry could see her shoulders move back and forth. "I'm really sorry," Harry said vaguely, not really talking to Ginny and Colin.
"Harry, I'm..." Ginny started to say as she reached out to touch him. "Oh my god Harry, what happened to your face?" Ginny dragged Harry's hand away from his face.
"Oh that." Harry tried to wave her away without telling her what had happened. "It's nothing really." He knew enough not to say he ran into a door, that line never worked for anyone.
"Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to bed. Goodnight Ginny. Colin." Harry walked off leaving them staring after him. Harry heard Colin say, "That was odd."
Harry made his way to the stairs. A few steps up he looked back over the throng of people. Hermione and Fred - Harry was almost sure it was Fred - were dancing to the music. Hermione was laughing at something Fred had said. She didn't look like someone who had just had a row with one of her best friends.
Harry didn't like her sudden change of attitude, it wasn't right. He muttered to himself as he climbed the many flights of stairs to Ron's room. As he opened the door he saw Sirius pick his head up of from his front paws. "Don't bother changing forms, Sirius, I just want to go to bed. So if you don't mind…" Sirius left the room. Harry closed the door after him.
Harry turned out the lights, letting the darkness press in on him. It wasn't a very welcoming blackness, but then it never was nowadays. He heard Sirius come back into the room. Harry could feel Sirius's eyes on him. He lay down on the cot that had become familiar from past visits to The Burrow, but he couldn't fall asleep. When Harry finally dropped off into a very deep and fitful sleep, he had the same nightmares that he had every night.
He saw Voldemort destroy Hogwarts and kill everyone there except for the Slytherins. Hermione's voice drifted through his dream, "I told you!" she shrieked at him. "Didn't I tell you you were the one who killed me! I thought you were supposed to kill that evil twit of a Dark Lord. You failed us, Harry. You didn't kill him, Harry! It's all your fault!" Her voice was ghostly and high pitched. The ghostly forms of his friends were surrounding him, telling him it was his fault, yelling at him as they pushed closer.
"You picked the losing side Potter!" Draco's voice was right next to him. Draco was smiling at what had happened. Then with a piercing scream, that Harry recognized as his own, Draco turned into Voldemort. "It's all your fault, Potter!" he kept chanting. The dream started to fade leaving Harry in darkness with Voldemort's red eyes boring into him as he kept chanting. He heard another voice join Voldemort's; Harry recognized it as Hermione's. She sent the killing curse hurtling at him. He could still see Voldemort's red eyes through the green light that crashed down on him.
"Its not! It's not my fault! I didn't do it, it was you! You killed them. NO! It's not my fault!" Harry said as he got caught in the green light. He felt the air leave him, and he could feel himself falling farther into the green glow. "AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Harry yelled. He woke covered in a cold sweat and gripping the front of Ron's robes. Ron had been shaking him trying to get him to wake up.
"Harry what's wrong? You were yelling in your sleep, something about it's not your fault and people dying. Want to talk about it?" Ron looked down at Harry who was shaking and pale. He had concern written all over his face, it showed in his eyes and laced his words.
"Oh sure, the nightmare. It was the usual. Voldemort coming after me, killing everyone at Hogwarts except Malfoy, the Slytherins and me. Malfoy turning into Voldemort and then Hermione killing me. Cedric telling me it was my fault that he died. Just everyday stuff," Harry said dryly, knowing only too well how true that was.
Ron looked horror-stricken. "That's not funny Harry."
"I never said that it was Ron," he snapped back, "or I wouldn't be sitting here scared out of my wits." Sirius put his hand on his shoulder causing him to jump in fright.
"Harry have you told Dumbledore about these dreams, because I want you to, or I could."
"This one's new. I told him about the other ones, where I'm in the graveyard," Harry said, as his heart rate finally started to slow down. He let go of the front of Ron's robes. Ron looked relieved to get be getting away from Harry. He sat on his own bed watching Harry.
"I'm going to talk to him. I want you to try to go to sleep Harry. Goodnight Ron. Harry," said Sirius. With a small "pop" he was dog again.
"Well goodnight Ron. I hope I don't wake you up again," Harry said. He didn't really believe that he would be able to sleep, but he didn't want to talk to Ron. He didn't want to do anything that had to do with Ron, Hermione or Ginny.
"You didn't wake me. The party just ended. Goodnight then," Ron said as he climbed into his bed already forgetting Harry's nightmare. It didn't take long for Ron's steady breathing to fill the darkness.
Harry looked at the digital clock on Ron's nightstand; a present Harry had bought him from a muggle shop. It read 3:30 A.M. He couldn't believe his party had lasted so long and he had missed so much. Harry's heavy eyelids closed but he didn't fall asleep. He didn't want to, in fear of more dreams. He didn't hear the door to the room crack open or Dumbledore's soft incantation that would give him dreamless sleep. He couldn't fight the sleep that pulled him down.
When Ron woke up the next morning, very late, he didn't wake Harry. All the Weasleys and the remaining party guests who'd spent the night crashed in tents in the Weasley's yard were under Dumbledore's orders not to wake Harry up. They spent the following day and evening tiptoeing around the house.
When Harry did finally wake up it was dark out and Harry had no idea how long he had been sleeping. He glanced at the clock on Ron's nightstand; it was quarter after two in the morning. That gave Harry some idea how long he had been asleep.
He climbed out from beneath the nest of blankets. Cold air rushed around him. This was one of the coldest summers Harry had ever known. Everything in the room was still; he couldn't hear Ron's breathing, or the ghoul in the attic.
Harry had the sudden urge to leave. He wanted to leave all of England behind. He felt like he didn't belong.
Harry took some parchment and a quill from his trunk. He scratched a short note to Mrs. Weasley and at the top he put the time on it. He would later wonder why he had put the time; it was something he did without thinking about it. He changed into the robes he had on during the party. He then grabbed some money from his trunk, his Invisibility Cloak, and from the corner of the room he retrieved his broom, all of which had been moved up to Ron's room while he had slept.
He moved around the room silently gathering the things he needed. He had become an expert at nighttime wanderings. He pulled the cloak tightly around himself and dropped his money bag into a pocket along with his wand. Harry forced open one of the windows in the room and he placed the note on the windowsill, with the quill and ink bottle on top to keep it from blowing away. Below, the garden stretched out; above, the cloudless sky. He jumped out of the window, never noticing the squeak of a rat.
Author's note: There you have it! The new and improved chapters one and two of my ongoing Harry Potter series. My posting is going to be more regular. I had decided not to update this story until I had redone these chapters. If you want to be notified of future up dates, leave an e-mail in your review.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, or settings in this chapter.
