The Fellowship blinked and stared around. They didn't know where they were or what they saw. They were standing in the middle of a busy city street. Traffic rushed by them. People yelled obscenities. Legolas pointed his arrow at the passing cars. The Hobbits clutched one another in fear. Gimli readied his axe. Aragorn and Boromir stared dumbly at the strange people passing on the sidewalks. Only Gandalf retained his senses.

"Hurry you fools! We'll be crushed by these strange carts!" he shouted.

They all dashed to the sidewalk and pressed themselves against a building. A few people glanced at them oddly, but then hurried on their way.

"We must get out of sight until I discover where we are." Gandalf advised.

They looked about but all the buildings were full of the strange people. Suddenly Pippin caught a familiar scent.

"Ale!" he shouted, pointing at a bar a few yards down the street.

They hurried to the door and glanced inside. It was dark and mostly empty.

"Make for the darkest corner." Gandalf advised.

They all crowded into a circular booth in the back.

"Where is this strange place?" Aragorn wondered.

"Not even the busiest city in Middle Earth is anything like this." Boromir mused.

"It is some trick of Sauron!" Legolas cried.

"I'm Cheryl. What can I get for you boys?" asked a waitress.

"Ales all around!" Pippin said. "Pints!"

"Very well." Gandalf consented. "A drink will be well received."

"Well that's fine for you five men, but your sons will have to have soda."

"Sons?" cried Merry. "We're not their sons!"

"Whatever sweetie. You still have to be 21 to buy beer"

"I'm 28." said Pippin proudly " And I am the youngest."

She eyed him warily; "You got any ID?"

"Any what?"

"Identification."

"His mum sewed his name in his underwear." Merry laughed

Cheryl turned away laughing. She returned with four huge tankards of beer and four can of Coke. After she left Frodo stared at the can.

"How do you get it open?" he asked.

Legolas examined the can. He yanked the pop-top off and tossed it aside. Then he drew his knife and stabbed the top. A spray of Coke spewed out, drenching him.

"Foul brew!" he cried.

"Let me see." Gimli said taking Sam's can. "We dwarves are skilled at metal work."

He studied it for a bit, them properly lifted the pop-top, opening the soda

Merry and Pippin followed suit and opened theirs. Frodo awkwardly drank his from the jagged hole Legolas had made.

Cheryl passed by and Pippin called to her, "Hey do you have any food around here?"

"Appetizers. What do you like?"

"He likes everything." Frodo laughed.

"I'll bring sampler platters." she said.

She returned with nine plates of fried cheese, loaded potato skins, chicken fingers, and fried mushrooms. They all dived into their food and found it very enjoyable.

"Where ever we are," Sam said, "they have good food and I like this fizzy drink."

"What are going to do now?" asked Aragorn.

" I'd say wait till night fall and then try to find our way back." said Gandalf lighting his pipeweed.

Cheryl brought their check over and sniffed the air as a cloud of smoke came toward her.

"Hey you can't smoke that stuff in here. You want to get arrested?" she said.

"Oh, forgive me, lady." Gandalf said extinguishing it.

Boromir looked at the ticket and handed her some money. She looked at the coins he had handed her.

"Is that not enough?" he smiled at her

"We don't take this kind of money." She explained.

"The currency of Gondor is good!" Boromir exclaimed.

"Well I am sure it is but not here." she said handing it back

"Forgive us again, lady." Gandalf said. "We are not from this land. What type currency do you accept."

"American"

"We don't have of that" Aragorn said "Will you take gold?"

"I better ask Bruce."

She hurried behind the bar. She and the bartender whispered for a moment. He looked at them suspiciously.

"I fear we have drawn too much attention" Aragorn said.

Bruce disappeared into the back room and Cheryl returned to the table.

"He'll take it but he won't make change."

"I am sure this will cover it." Aragorn said handing her several hundred dollars worth of gold pieces.

She put the gold into her pocket and sat down beside Frodo.

"Look, I don't know what's up with you guys but you seem nice enough and I don't want to see you get into trouble. Where are you from?"

"Our business is own!" Frodo cried

"It's okay, Frodo." Gandalf said. "I believe we may need a friend in this strange land. Thank you, lady. We came from Rivendell. I am Gandalf the Grey."

"Is that in Europe?" she looked puzzled.

"I think not." Gandalf said. "We were in Moria on our way to Mordor. We found a blue glowing doorway, which lead us to your city. Can you direct us to the correct path to Mordor"

"I have never heard of Mordor. It sounds German though."

Bruce returned from the back room and eyed the group. He came over to the table.

"Where's my money?"

"Here." Cheryl said and handed him the gold.

"OK you characters get out of my bar. I don't like any weirdoes hanging around scaring my customers. Don't make me call the cops."

Legolas jumped up and drew his bow.

"Hey there, Goldilocks! Watch where you point that thing!"

"We're going now. Put the bow down Legolas." Gandalf said as he rose.

Bruce scowled at the group and returned to his post.

"You guys can't go roaming around the city like this." Cheryl said. "Meet me around back. We can go to my house and try to find a road to Mordor on the Internet."

They all got up and thanked her. Boromir bowed and kissed her hand.

"Thank you beautiful lady! Gondor will not forget this kindness"

She blushed and hurried to clock out and unlock her truck.