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My heart calls to me in my sleep

How can I turn to it

'Cause I'm all locked up in this Dark place…

My head won't leave my head alone

--Dave Matthews Band, "Rhyme & Reason"

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Chapter Fifteen: Running

She shut the bathroom door as quietly as possible, but Darien jumped at the small noise and spun quickly from his pacing. He sighed with relief to see her.

"Serena, you're…I… Listen, I wanted to say…" he haltingly tried to begin, but Serena cut him off.

"Actually, Darien, I'm really not feeling all that well, and I think I'd just like to go home right now." She wasn't meeting his eyes.

Darien looked at her worriedly. "But, Serena…it's dark outside, and we didn't bring the car…unless you want to walk home in the dark, or maybe Artemis could drive us, but then he'd know where you're staying. Don't you think maybe it'd be better if…well, if we stayed…here?" He held his breath. If I can just keep her here, in Artemis' house, then I'll have a chance to explain everything and see how she reacts. Because she's got to realize it now…after hearing the story, surely she knows…

He watched anxiously as she crossed the room, arms folded tightly over her chest. She stood at the window, but looked down at the carpet instead of out at the night. She was quiet for so long that Darien hesitantly took a step toward her. Then she sighed, and he froze.

"Well… I suppose. Whatever you think is best, Darien. But, I really don't feel well at all. I think…I think I should go to bed. Yeah, I'm very tired."

Darien's brow wrinkled. Maybe she really doesn't feel well…she doesn't look so good, actually. My poor Serena… He reached out and laid his hand gently on her shoulder, concerned. "All right, you can probably sleep in the guest room. You'll feel better once you lie down. I'll show you where the room is now, if you want," he softly offered, rubbing his thumb comfortingly over her skin.

She jerked out from under his touch. "Thanks, I'll find it myself," she muttered dismissively, escaping the room.

Darien stood still, a sudden, sharp pain stinging through his chest. What was that? She didn't want him to touch her or comfort her? But, Serena…if you know now…if you've realized…who you are…then…

He sunk into the chair that Artemis had occupied for the course of the story. His fist closed on the little velvet bag in his pocket, feeling the hard, round object within. Then…why don't you know who I am?

Artemis chose this moment to resurface from his daughter's room. He grinned and winked at Darien with a finger to his lips, indicating that Mina was asleep. Then he frowned and looked around. "Where's Serena?" he inquired curiously.

Darien sighed deeply. "She didn't feel well. I told her she could stay in the guest room overnight," he dejectedly explained.

Artemis' frown deepened, pulling wrinkles across his face. "Didn't feel well, you say? Hmm…I hope it wasn't my beef stew!"

"No," Darien said wearily, in no mood for pretending optimism, "It wasn't the beef stew." His grip tightened on the stone in his pocket. Oh, Serena…Why can't you see? Why don't you know…and trust me?

~----------~

Serena turned sharply in the little aisle of clear floor space and continued her death march, intently focused on keeping the voice silent so she could think.

Okay, so Serenity's in my head, and she's trying to tell me what to do. That's okay. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm crazy. After all, I'm sure there's plenty of nice people in the world who hallucinate things after they hear stories.

She reached the other wall of the small bedroom and turned around again.

All right Serena, stop dancing around the issue, she berated herself. Crazy or not, there are some definite weird coincidences going on here. So it's up to me, Super Sleuth Serena, to figure them out!

That was so cheesy she actually stopped pacing and shook her head at her own demented brain. Then she turned and resumed the march.

Let's see…Okay, Darien's father--well, almost-father-- knows a story that has to do with these things called crystals, one silver and one golden. The crystals have the power to grant the desires of those who can control them.

So-- Coincidence Number One: I have a silver, crystalline stone that I inherited from Grandmother Leita. Ever since I have had it, I have been able to cause things to happen whenever I get worked up about something.

Her pacing picked up speed, and one hand found its way to her locket.

The Silver Crystal from the legend and my wishstone…maybe…the same thing?

She sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.

But how is that possible? The crystals…they're just a bedtime story. Right?

Suddenly, she wasn't so sure.

But…but…if it is true…then…that means the voice really is Serenity, and I'm one of the chosen ones on the sacred line, like Artemis said. But that…that's just so unbelievable.

~*~Ah, but it is true. Listen, my child-- ~*~

Serena gasped and clamped her control back down quickly.

The last thing I need is you trying to confuse me. I can figure this out by myself, thank you very much, she thought furiously at her now-silent subconscious.

She stood up and resumed her pacing, feeling restless.

Okay, so let's take an assessment. Conclusion Number One: Assuming that the legend is true, I most likely am the carrier of the Silver Crystal, and the voice in my head is probably Serenity trying to guide me from beyond the grave. She shivered. God, that's creepy. Wishstone crystals and ghosts that live in my brain. I'm definitely gonna end up in the loony bin.

Sighing, she turned for another lap of the guest bed.

All right, now that we got that sort-of straightened out, lets move on to Number One Thing Serena is Trying Not to Think About: Darien.

She stopped at the window and looked out at the quiet yard. The moon was full and bright that night. Just like…last night… She shook her head violently to clear it of the dreamy images starting to creep in.

Focus, Serena. He didn't want me to hear the story…because he knew that I would figure out who I am? But…that would mean…

She gripped the window edge tightly, struck with a horrible realization.

That would mean…

No, he would have said something before now. It couldn't be.

That…would mean…

No, it just wasn't possible. She would have known. He would have done something.

…he knows who I am.

She sank slowly to the floor, her back against the wall under the window.

But…no…it's not possible…I was careful…I destroyed that newspaper…How could he have found out? How could this have happened?

She clutched at her locket desperately, trying to think of a way it could be not true.

He must have figured it out…Darien's not stupid, that I know. He must know… everything…the Tsukinos…Sammy…the hospital…I'm a wanted woman, on the run from the law. And Darien knows who I am…

~*~But he has not turned you in yet, has he? Listen to me, you have got to trust him or-- ~*~

Quiet! she screamed silently at the voice, once again clamping down her slipping control. She took a deep breath. If there's one thing I've learned in all my years in foster care, it's this: Trust is a weakness. The only person you can rely on is yourself because everyone else will let you down. When it's really important, you can't trust anyone else. I think my freedom is pretty important, don't you?

A very small voice within her, one that was not Serenity's, said quietly, But this is Darien, and you love him.

Serena's fist tightened convulsively around the locket. She could feel the design being pressed into her skin. A funny little ache ran through her heart, but she had made up her mind resolutely.

It doesn't matter. Trust is a weakness. I can't afford to be weak now. I'm on my own.

She stood up and looked again at the window, this time really *at* it, not through to the outside. The bedroom was ground-floor and the window was perhaps three feet from the ground. Some rose bushes grew under it, but there was enough space for a person to fit between them and the house. The latch was on the inside.

Serena took a deep breath. Now, Serena. Time to be strong, for once in your life. Time to control your own destiny. Do you want to go back to Mrs. Rei's office, or maybe to jail? Or do you want to be your own person and show the world that you really are strong enough to make it on your own?

With grim resolve, she answered her own question and reached out to turn the latch.

~----------~

Panting with exertion, Diamond rested on her for a moment, luxuriating in the feel of sweaty skin and his release. Then he withdrew slowly and rolled over.

He could not resist a small chuckle. Very satisfying. Oh, yes, very satisfying indeed, if only a consolation prize. No matter, Diamond never slept alone, and he would soon get the one he really wanted. In the meantime, there were always other…diversions.

He felt her cuddle up to his side, practically purring. He smiled. Cuddling after sex…what a revolting concept. But now…now came his favorite part.

Diamond drew a silky strand of auburn hair through his fingers, inhaling the scent of hazelnut. Women and their smelly hair stuff. With an unexpected thrill of excitement, he wondered what *her* scent was. Perhaps…honeysuckle…or lavender… Ah, but he would know in due time. Now was the time to savor the moment at hand.

He chuckled again and jerked his black presence as roughly as possible from her mind. He always found that the more abrupt, the better the effect. "Mmm…very good, my little pet. But you may leave now. I've no more use for you."

He felt her stiffen suddenly and jerk away from him. She sat up quickly, grabbing sheets to her naked breasts. He grinned satisfactorily at her horrified, humiliated expression. Ah yes, this was the best part.

She sputtered unintelligibly before managing to spit furiously, "You beast, how could you!"

He easily turned aside her attempt at hitting him with a flick of his black power. He grinned wider and replied flippantly, "Very easily, I'm afraid. Really, I'm surprised you're upset, Beryl. After all, a whore like you ought to appreciate a good fucking."

Her face trembled in rage, but she didn't try to hit him again. He watched languidly as she extracted herself from the tangle of sheets and dressed as dignifiedly as possible. They always tried to maintain a shred of dignity. It was really quite amusing how they were all the same.

She stalked to the door of his apartment and turned back to where he lay still stretched out on the bed, completely unashamed of his nakedness. Her lip trembling with a mix of emotions, she ground out, "Mark my words, Diamond, you *will* be sorry for this, you… you… incredible bastard asshole man-whore!" The door slammed behind her, shaking the walls of the small space.

Diamond chuckled to himself, reaching to the nightstand to pour himself some wine. Really, it had been quite ingenious of him to rent this place. It would never do to have his father's mansion shook so, and hotel rooms got so expensive.

Feeling quite satisfied with himself, he sipped his wine. There was only one prick in his self-pride, only one tiny failure that he had endured. And of course, he assured himself with a nasty little smirk, that would be remedied soon enough.

He raised his glass in a toast to the now empty room. "Here's to you, lovely Serena."

~----------~

Serena knelt in front of the door, squinting in the dark hallway to see the lock on Darien's apartment door. She cast a furtive look in both directions over her shoulder to make sure no one was there to see her pulling a hairpin from her pocket. She was fairly sure that it wouldn't look too good if someone found her here, trying to pick the lock. She had looked around for surveillance cameras, but hadn't seen any. As she jiggled the hairpin as quietly as possible and prayed for it to work, she fervently hoped that the fact that she didn't see them meant that they weren't there.

Of course, she had considered just running and leaving Luna and everything else behind… but she remembered all too well what had happened the last time she had left unprepared. She needed food and supplies…and she had no money. Besides, she was already on the run from the law, right? One little break-in wasn't so much worse than destroying thousands of dollars' worth of sophisticated hospital equipment.

She heard the miraculous click of the releasing lock and stifled a disbelieving shout of joy. Quietly, she slipped though the door and pushed it back into its frame. The lock clicked again as it slid back into place. She flinched at the little noise, magnified by fear and deathly silence.

The apartment was dark and seemed wholly alien, despite the fact that she had spent most of the past three days inside it. Moonlight shone through Darien's big picture window and cast an eerie sort of dim glow on the green and white striped rug. Serena moved quietly around the furniture, her eyes having adjusted to the semi-darkness. She planned to secure her traveling bag, her cat, and some survival necessities, and then get out as smoothly as possible. The less time here, the better. After all, the less time here, the less time she had to think about the fact that she was actually leaving.

She ran a hand along the wall to guide her down the considerably darker hallway until she reached the doorway of the room where she had slept for the past three nights. She paused for a moment in the threshold, then shook off the irrational sentimentality that had overtaken her and entered.

Luna was curled up on the bed, and lifted her head from where it rested on her paws to blink sleepily at Serena. The cat came fully awake and sprang up, alert. Serena gathered her bag up quickly, feeling reproachful blue eyes watching her in the darkness.

"Come on, Luna," she whispered, gently scooping the cat into her bag, lashing tail and all, "there's a good kitty." Luna's round blue eyes were bright against the black of the dark and her coat. The little crescent moon on her forehead seemed to burn, and Serena could almost hear the cat thinking at her, ~*~This is not a good idea.~*~

Not the cat---Serenity, she realized suddenly, and pushed down harder on the unwanted presence. She left the room quickly, leaving her dress draped over the chair, trying not to remember any of the events of last night, especially when Darien had…

She went to the kitchen and opened half the cabinets before she remembered that the whole reason she and Darien had left that morning had been because there was no food in the apartment. She swore into the silence. Now what?

Slowly she wandered out of the little space and into Darien's living room. Indeed, now what? She couldn't starve herself again. Aimlessly, she walked through the apartment, as though hoping for some kind of inspiration. Perhaps…if she could find some money… but no, rob Darien? Somehow taking money seemed much worse than taking food.

Somewhere far off down the hall outside, a door slammed shut. Serena tensed in sudden fear and held still as a frightened rabbit, ready to bolt. Footsteps treaded heavily past the door. Serena's heart nearly left her chest, but they passed by without pause. A full minute after all had fallen silent once more, she finally released her breath.

Shaking with the after-effects of the adrenaline rush, she came to a quick decision. She would just have to do without. The longer she stayed here, the more the risk grew.

She made a final quick sweep of the apartment, looking for anything she might have forgotten. In the TV room, she knelt to retrieve an umbrella that was propped against the wall (for she had no desire to repeat the misery of her previous flight through the rain) and straightened again to find herself looking into Darien's beautiful eyes.

It was only the picture of Darien and Mina that hung on the wall, but her heart gave a mighty wrench. His familiar features were clear in the darkness; his dark eyes seemed to be begging her for something. As clear as though he were standing right next to her, she heard the question, rending her in two: How can you leave? Serena gasped a little against the painful squeezing in her chest.

Can I really leave him? I'll never see him again.

Never…see…again… Those words sounded like death.

She steeled herself and dragged her eyes away from his pleading face. A little part of her was crying, sobbing hysterically and begging her to turn back. She stifled the tears that threatened to break through to her outer self and began to walk away.

I love him, I love him! I'll die if I can't be with him! the little self inside cried.

"What a stupid thing to say. Of course I won't die," she hissed fiercely back at it, striding quickly now with the bag, the cat, and the umbrella to the door. A tear trickled down her cheek as she softly pushed the door closed behind her. She wiped it quickly away.

I'll be fine. I am strong enough to do this, she told herself firmly.

But the little self had dissolved into quiet, desperate sobs, and wasn't listening anymore.

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