Crush Me Part II
By: Olivia

Monica's cell phone rang as she drove away from John's headed back to D.C., back to here apartment.

"Hello?"

"Monica."

At John's voice Monica instantly turned the car around.

A few minutes later she pulled back up to John's house. He was just sitting there on his porch. He hadn't even bothered to go inside as far as Monica could tell as she walked towards him. John's gaze had been following her ever since she pulled up. Monica sat down gingerly beside him and then she waited for him to speak.

John slowly and gently reached for Monica's hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. He drew her hand to his chest. She could feel his heart beating rapidly, just as her own was.

The both gazed at each other for a few seconds.

Finally John broke the silence. "I'm sorry, Monica." His eyes were full of sadness, full of regret.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, John," said Monica simply.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out, for keeping you at a distance all the time. I let you in today and then I shut you out again. Today was the first day I realized...I realized I could forgive myself for not protecting Luke. I realized that I could allow myself to be happy. I realized I could let you in."

"I know you couldn't before, but I've always known you cared about me. I never doubted that."

"I've been so scared to let anybody in for so long. I couldn't fail them, not like I failed Luke. I didn't want to drag them down with me. Even when I was happy, Luke was never far away from my thoughts. You wanted to help ease my pain, take some of it upon yourself, but I couldn't let you, I couldn't let that light that I see in your eyes diminish, not even for an instant, because of me. I never meant to disappoint or hurt you, Monica."

"John, you have never...never disappointed or hurt me. You could never. It's not in you."

John shook his head. "I know I have. You have stood by me as nobody else in my life ever has. I want to do that for you. As horrible as my son's death is, it brought you into my life. Then our lives drifted apart. The X-Files brought you back again into my life. I can't fight fate. I don't want to. I never want to be separated from you again. You make me want to be the man you think I am. I know you cared a great deal about Folmer. I know he disappointed you and hurt you. I don't want to disappoint and hurt you any longer."

"Yes, Brad did hurt me. But I never cared about him the way I love you," said Monica simply.

John took a deep breath. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I love you, Monica."

Monica felt her heart melting. He really was letting her in. "I love you, John."

The words were said. They were spoken. They both had laid their mutual feelings on the table. Lines had been crossed. There was no turning back.

John just gazed at Monica. He was lost in her hazel eyes. She could feel all the love for her he had been holding back for so long. It consumed them. Her love equaled his own.

"Monica, you are just the most beautiful soul I've ever met."

A tear started to trickle down Monica's cheek. For so long she had hoped that he would allow her access to his heart, allow her to love him as more than his partner, as more than his friend. She had respected him too much to intrude her feelings upon his even when she knew he cared for her.

With his free hand, John gently wiped way away her tear with his thumb. He put his hand against her cheek. They both leaned in and their mouths met in a kiss, a kiss full of realized longing, full of sweetness, full of love. When they parted, they were both smiling at this new, intoxicating freedom. Neither knew what tomorrow would bring when they went to work, but neither cared or worried about it at this moment. Hell, it had worked for Mulder and Scully hadn't it?

John took his hand and pulled Monica the few extra inches closer to his body. He put his arm around her waist and she leaned into the crook of his neck.

They gazed into the darkness as the first beam of light made its way, trying to dispel the darkness. A new day was coming.

The End

"Come hither and I shall light a candle of understanding in thine heart, which shall not be put out."-Apocrypha-2 Esdras

"In love the heavens themselves do guide the state."-William Shakespeare-"The Merry Wives of Windsor"