Suicide Is Painless
Note: I have no idea what the legal age is for working in strip clubs nor do I know how much they make, also I live in Canada and our laws are a lot of the times different from the usa.

Monica groaned as she entered her new apartment and slammed the door shut. She is now nineteen and living in her grandmothers old apartment. She is also an unemployed college drop out. She did try college but found it too overwhelming so she dropped out after five months. Now she is on her own with no money.
She just arrived back from which seemed like endless job interviews for every type of job out there. From a grocery store to an office building. No one wanted to hire a drop out like her self. Desperate for a job, Monica started looking in the adult section of the classifieds. After all money is money. 'Wanted: Exotic Dancer. No experience necessary.Pays Great. 555-3432'. The words Pays Great was all the she needed to see. Monica phoned the place and set up an appointment. While laying in bed that night she thought about everything that has happened since high school. She has attempted to kill her self twice, lost her virginity, moved on her own and is now so desperate for money she has an appointment for a strip club. She had thought about asking her parents or Ross for money but she lost contact with them when she moved out. She also lost contact with Rachel so she is basically all alone.

The next day Monica put on a pair of flares and a T-shirt before heading down to the strip club for her appointment. She found about ten guys watching two girls walk down a run way and strip their clothes. The rest of the club basically comprised of a bar and one other run way. For a strip club anyway the place is pretty clean and probably well kept.

"You here for the interview?" a pretty nice looking man approached her. He wore a T-shirt and shorts.

"Um yeah"

"Right this way" he led her to a back room which had a desk and two chairs "Your name?"

"Monica Geller"

"I'm Max Tanner. I own this place"

"Nice to meet you Mr.Tanner"

"Please. Call me Max"

"Okay..Max"

"Do you have any experience?"

"No"

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen. I'm living on my own and I really need money"

"You are a legal adult so legally I can hire you, you just can't drink"

"I'm allowed to strip but not allowed to drink?"

"Yeah I know" he rolled his eyes "Anyway. Can you dance?"

"Well I have never exactly tried but I can learn"

"Are you comfortable getting naked in front of a bunch of horny men?"

"For money yeah"

"Hmmmm.......stand up"

"Okay" Monica stood up though she couldn't understand why

"You have the figure for the job"

"Thanks"

"Last question. Your okay working all hours?"

"Yes I am"

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"The guys....they aren't allowed to touch are they?"

"No. Not unless you allow them too"

"That was my only question"

"I think you have the potential to go far here so I am going to give you a chance"

"Oh wow thank you"

"You start Monday at 7:00 P.M"

"Thank you"

Monica shook his hand and found her way out of the building. She found it odd that he told her she has a great figure. After all her low self esteem comes from hating her self and her body. Now she was going to make money off of it. When she arrived at her apartment she found boxes sitting in front of the apartment across the hall. Some one must have finally rented it. Not thinking anything of it, she entered her apartment and started practicing in her bedroom where no one could see her. She knew a lot of the money came from tips so she was going to need a good act. After practicing for an hour someone, probably the new neighbor, knocked at the door.

"Coming!" Monica yelled. She answered the door shocked to find the boy who hates thanksgiving or Chandler standing in front of her. "Chandler??"

"Monica! wow what a coincidence!"

"YOU are the one moving in??"

"Yeah!"

"I can't believe this!"

"So you wanna get a drink or something?"

"Yeah okay" Monica grabbed her coat and they went to a Starbucks right down the rode. Both didn't say very much until they each had their coffee.

"So what are you doing living on your on?"

"I just had to get out of the house. I couldn't stand my mom and Ross watching me 24/7"

"You working? or going to school?"

"Ummm yeah I just got a job today in fact and I dropped out of college"

"Really? Where you working?"

"Just this place downtown.....so what have you been up too?"

"After I got out of college I got a job at this company as a data processor and I'm still there"

"A what?"

"I'm not even sure what it is" he joked "Anyway how is Ross doing?"

"I don't know"

"What?"

"I sorta lost contact with him and my parents when I moved out"

"That's too bad"

"Eh. Not really" she smiled half way

"How long have you been out on your own?"

"A year. Since I got out of high school"

"Ah"

"Um I gotta go" Monica grabbed her coat and walked out of the coffee house with out waiting for Chandler to respond. She found it odd being around him again. Especially since the last time she saw him was when they slept together. Instead of going back to her apartment, she found her self on the roof of her building. Just like before at the warehouse, she stood on the ledge and watched the world go by. She closed her eyes and imagined jumping. Everything would be gone. All the pain wouldn't be there anymore. Then reality would set in once she re-opened her eyes. She is still alive and so is all the hurt. A stray tear streamed down her face. What does she have to live for?. A job as a stripper. That is all that she has. No friends, family or even a boyfriend. Heck she doesn't even have a pet. Monica dangled her right foot over the ledge. As she was about to put her left foot over the ledge. Something pushed her back on to the cement. Causing her to land right on her back. "Shit. Chandler!!"

"Good thing I followed you"

"You followed me??" Monica asked through her pain

"That's besides the point. What were you doing?"

"I just wanted to end it all okay??"

"Why?"

"I'd rather NOT talk about it" she pushed her self off of the ground, ignoring the shooting pain.

"I'll walk you to your apartment" Chandler escorted her back to her apartment and then entered his

Monica had a hot bath before changing into her pajamas and getting into bed. She tried falling asleep but couldn't. She could not figure out why Chandler would want to follow her. After tossing and turning for a couple hours, she decided to go ask him. Once she banged on the door a couple times Chandler answered.

"Mon? What is going on?"

"Why did you follow me??"

"Because I wanted to tell you.......something"

"What?"

"That since you and me....well had sex...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you" he blurted

"Really?"

"Yeah really"

"I don't know what to say"

"You don't have to say anything"

"I just don't think............. I'm mentally stable enough to date or anything. It's hard to explain"

Chandler paused "Do you wanna come in?"

"Um sure" Monica entered. The apartment pretty much consisted of box's "Nice"

"I know. I haven't had a chance to unpack"

"So what do you want to do?"

"Want a beer? or do you not drink?"

"I'm underage"

"If you want one I won't tell"

"Yeah okay I'll have one" Chandler then handed her one and grabbed one for him self "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot"

"Have you really thought about me?"

"Why would I lie?"

"I dunno"

"Judging by your roof stunt you still have problems with depression?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"No. I'm just smart" he laughed at his own joke

"Can we move on to a different subject?"

"Sure"

After drinking one too many beers Monica started to become nauseous and threw up in the bathroom. Chandler held her hair back and then led her to the couch.

"This is your first time drinking isn't it?"

"Yeah. Seems like all my firsts are with you........." she groaned

"Maybe there will be a second time" Chandler kissed her on the forehead "And I don't mean me watching you go through a hang over"

"Hmmmmm" Monica moaned

"Night" Chandler watched her for a minute before going to bed him self.

Monica woke up feeling sicker then she has felt in quite some time. Her head pounded like crazy and she felt like throwing up. 'So this is what a hang over feels like' she thought.

"How ya feeling?" Chandler entered from his bedroom

"I've been better"

"Want some coffee?"

"Please"

"So what you doing today?" he started to make conversation as he made the coffee

"I start work"

"You never mentioned what your new job is"

"Secretary" Monica told him the first thing that came to mind

"Oh that's great" he smiled "Here is your coffee"

"Thanks"

"What time do you start?"

"Not until later on tonight"

"A secretary job at night?"

"Um I gotta go. Thanks for the coffee" Monica jumped up from the couch and ran out of the apartment

That night was her first day on the job. Her new boss basically instructed her to dance and slowly take off her clothes until she was naked, dance some more and then slowly move off of the stage. Simple enough. She was also to stay on stage for a minimum of ten minutes at a time. Monica felt extremely nervous but some how managed to pull it off or rather pull her clothes off with out anything embarrassing happening. It is some what of a rush to have men yelling at you for more and you almost forget what is going on or where you are. She ended up getting off of work around two in the morning and got home at three. In all she managed to make seventy dollars in tips plus in a couple weeks is the pay check.

For the next couple of months as much as Monica hates it, she has kept on working at the club. The only good thing that keeps her working there is the money. The money she earns is more than enough for rent, and all the bills plus it gives her extra spending money to buy what she wants. Her and Chandler also managed to become close friends. She knew that he was suspicious of her 'secretary' job making so much money but so far he hasn't said anything. He as almost become her therapist so to speak. She is able to talk to him about anything and is there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. One night they decided to hang out and watch a movie together. Monica picked Titanic.

"This is so sad" Monica sniffled

"Yeah" he had to agree "For a chick flick"

"Oh shut up"

"Jack isn't even real"

"That isn't the point dummy"

"How old are you again?"

"Nineteen. And you?"

"Twenty One"

"Weird. You sure don't act like it"

"Like you do"

"Okay prove it"

Chandler leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips, "How's that?"

"I need more proof"

"Oh kay" he leaned in this time kissing her with more passion

After a minute or so Monica finally broke the kiss, "I can't do this"

"Do what?"

"This. Us"

"Why not?"

"I just can't. I'm sorry" Monica got off the couch and entered her bedroom

"Not as sorry as I am" he muttered before leaving the apartment

Monica laid down on her bed and started to cry into her pillow. Part of her still hates him for calling her fat and another part of her also really likes him. She felt so conflicted she didn't know what to do. So she just laid in her bed and let the tears flow down her face. Later that night she wandered in to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. She also went into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of tylenol. She then sat at the kitchen table and tried to write things worth living for but couldn't think of anything. 'How pathetic am I?'
she groaned to her self 'I can't think of one freaking thing worth living for'.

With out hesitating she opened the bottle and then downed the whole thing. After that everything went black, because after all, suicide is painless.

Suicide Is Painless
By Johnny Mandel

Through early morning fog I see,
Visions of the things to be,
The pains that are withheld for me,
I realize and I can see...

[REFRAIN]:

That suicide is painless.
It brings on many changes.
And I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make,
All our little joys relate,
Without that ever-present hate,
But now I know that it's too late, and...

[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play,
I'm gonna lose it anyway.
The losing card I'll someday lay,
So this is all I have to say.

[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat,
And lay it down before I'm beat,
And to another give my seat,
For that's the only painless feat.

[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins.
It doesn't hurt when it begins.
But as it works its way on in,
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me,
to answer questions that are key.
Is it to be or not to be?
And I replied 'Oh why ask me?'

[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless.
It brings on many changes.
And I can take or leave it if I please.

...And you can do the same thing if you choose.