Buffy yawned and stretched, awakening slowly. At once she remembered what had just happened, and her slayer senses went on high alert. The sun was shining (but not too bright), the grass was green and soft, and a gentle warm breeze rustled through the trees in the glade. Am I finally back in heaven? she wondered aloud. She turned around and saw Dawn still apparently unconscious behind her. Oh, never mind.
I heard that, Dawn snotted, opening her eyes. You thought you were in heaven, but you can't be because I'm here.
Yeah, that about sums it up, Buffy replied, then covered quickly, I mean, um, I just remembered Giles told me about this prophecy that you and I would be sucked into an alternate dimension today because Glory is after you again. So that's where we are. She concluded wistfully, Not dead.
But I thought Glory died last May when Giles killed Ben?
Yeah, well, I died that night, too, and a fat lot of good it did me, Buffy fumed silently.
I know what you're thinking, Dawn said.
Shut up.
Just then the sisters' bickering was interrupted by the arrival of a short-statured young man dressed in old-fashioned regal attire.
Buffy exclaimed. What are you doing here? Is this some kind of world-domination plot? And have you been shopping at the same store as Tara, because I gotta say--
She was cut off as the little man burst into song.
As Mayor of Fanfic City
In the County of the Land of Oz,
I welcome you most regally,
But we've got to verify it legally,
To see
If she
Is morally, ethically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, or reliably dead.
An Andrew lookalike stepped out from behind a tree, and continued the song while poking at Buffy.
As coroner,
I must aver,
I've thoroughly examined her,
And she's not even nearly dead,
She's really sincerely not dead!
Mayor Jonathan stepped back and proclaimed the joyous news: Yes let the joyous news be spread, our visitor here is truly not dead!
Rub it in, why don't you, Buffy muttered, not really caring.
But Dawn was incensed. Hey, what about me? Don't you people even care if I'm dead or alive? It's all about Buffy for you isn't it? Well, okay, she's the slayer and that's important. But I'm important too! I'm the key to the whole universe! I swear it's true! Look at meeeeee!
**********************************************
But only one gazing upon this scene paid the slightest bit of attention to Dawn. Glory, wearing a green avocado beauty masque, stared at the sisters through the red haze of her crystal ball. I'll get you my pretty, and your little Key, too! she cackled.
Hey, minions, isn't it time to exfoliate yet?
