Oh god…..the madness…..this is what happens when I watch episodes of Saturday Night Lives Jeopardy skit…..I simply HAD to do this one……..lol!!!! Read and review! Enjoy!!!

Dedicated to: SarWolf Snape! The Remus to my Sirius! She rocks!

Disclaimer: None of these are mine……..lets leave it at that.

Snape: And welcome back to Magical Jeopardy. Again, I would like to apologize to all deaf people and children for what happened before the commercial break. The scores stand as follows. Ron Weasley with a new Jeopardy record of –$222,545.

Ron: Thank you Severus, this money is really going to help my family.

Severus: Weasley…….you haven't won anything……..

Ron: Thanks again Severus

Severus: And were subtracting another 1000 dollars for utter stupidity.

Ron: WOOOH! YES!

Severus shakes his head and turns to the next contestant: Sirius Black coming in not much better then Weasley, with -$156,500 dollars.

Sirius: So……we meet again Snape. I noticed you were having trouble sitting down during the commercial break, whats the matter sweetie, did you have a date last night?

Severus glares at Sirius: Moving on……..our last contestant, in first place with 8 dollars, Harry Potter.

Harry: I'm the boy who lived you know

Severus: We know……what I don't know is how you could get a score of 8 dollars in jeopardy.

Harry: What is the Boy who lived, defeated Voldemort 4 times. I'm a hero. Do I win?

Severus: No. You lose. Utterly. In fact, you should just kill yourself for your failure.

Harry: So…….I win?

Severus sighs and goes back to his podium: The categories for Double Jeopardy are: Household Objects, Things that rhyme with Feet, A Petit' Dejunaer, (He turns to the contestants) that's French, so we'll just skip it.

Sirius: I know some French, fuck off, pardon my French. Haha!

Severus: I hate you. (He turns back to the categories) Colors that rhyme with Urple, Is this a hat?, Don't Do Anything, and Letter or Number? Since Mr. Potter is in first place we'll start with him.

Harry: I'll take Famous People Who Defeated You-Know-Who for 300

Severus: That isn't a category.

Harry: All right, sorry, then I'll take Famous People Who Defeated You-Know- Who for 400.

Severus: Lets just go with Colors that rhyme with Urple for 300. Answer is: This color rhymes with Urple

Ron buzzes in: Light Urple?

Severus: No, that's incorrect.

(Silence)

(Beep beep!)

Severus: Mr. Weasley, you answered last, pick a category.

Ron: Ill take Ape tit for 200

Severus: That's A Petit De- never mind! Lets go with Letter or Number for 800. Answer: 2.

(Silence)

Severus: The number 2. Is it a letter or a number?

(Silence)

(Beep Beep!)

Severus: And Magical Jeopardy has just reached a new low. Lets go with Don't Do Anything for 1000. All you have to do is do nothing, don't even buzz in, and you win.

Ron buzzes in

Severus: Mr. Weasley you lost!

Ron: (Blank Stare)

Severus: Well at least the other two contest-

(Harry Buzzes in)

Severus: Why did you do that!?

Harry: Because that sound reminds me of Hedwig, its lovely isn't it?

Severus: Congratulations Mr. Black you have-

Sirius buzzes in

Severus: Why did you do that?! You just lost!

Sirius laughing: Because I hate you Snape

Severus: Lets just go to final Jeopardy. Category is-You know what? Forget it, just make up and answer your own question, that's it. Doesn't matter what it is, there's no way you can't get this right. (Jeopardy music starts playing as contestants write)

(Music ends)

Severus: Just for the sake of tradition lets see what they wrote. (He walks over to Ron whose podium has disappeared) Mr. Weasley wrote……your podiums gone, how could you lose a podium?! Dear god………moving on……Mr. Potter wrote "What sound does a doggy make?" Very good, and he answered "????" You couldn't answer your own question!?

Harry: It was hard…..

Severus shakes his head and walks over to Sirius: I shudder to ask, but what did you write? "Who is Craven Morehead?"

Sirius: Apparently you are!

Severus shakes his head: And that concludes this edition of Magical Jeopardy, I'm going to go home now and put a gun in my mouth. Good night.