Love Comes Softly
Chapter Six
Author's Notes: This one came quicker than I expected it to. Going into this, I had no idea what I was going to do, but I guess I figured it out, didn't I? Nope, no hints, you'll have to read (oh the torture, I know)
Disclaimers: I don't own CSI. If only..
Thanks: Thank you Tash, for making me laugh with your hyper reviews! And thanks to the lovely Alisha (Kish) for reading my fan fics and TRYING to review them. Haha.
Oh, how I love unresolved issues...
Enjoy.
The sun shone too brightly for her that morning. She expected, when she awoke, a dark, stormy sky with rain pelting down and the air of misery. Instead she got a sunny, cheerful sky with promises of a good day to every other human being besides her.
She told the birds to shut up on her way to the bathroom. She had drank too much vodka the night before, resulting in a minimum of six trips to the toilet while the moon still hung in the sky. She thanked whatever God existed that her daughter was still asleep in her bed, that she wasn't awake to see her mother's face this morning.
A tangled mess of backward pajamas, messy hair and runny mascara, she stumbled into the kitchen to make herself some coffee. The sun shone through the huge windows in the room that was too bright for her eyes to take. Groaning, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and sighed.
So this is what she would be dissolved to without him. Hardly a human. She felt more like a cat, or some other animal that didn't care how they looked, or how they felt, as long as they got to sleep all day. Looking down at the ratty bathrobe she was wearing, she realized for the first time that it was his. Long, silky, and blue, he had always looked best in it while he was still waking up. She remembered the way his hair stuck up more than usual as he climbed out of bed...
She shook her head free of thoughts of him. Deciding wordlessly to pull herself together, if for nothing else, then for Lindsey's sake, she left the table and walked to her bedroom. The clothes she had left on the floor the night before, while she searched for something to wear to dinner, were still there. Her makeup was still strewn across her dresser. The lingerie she had lovingly laid out on her bed was still mocking her, just as it had done every waking moment since he had left.
She finally settled on wearing a simple outfit, running a comb through her hair quickly, and dotting some makeup under her eyes. Then she walked into Lindsey's room to wake her for school. She would only attend half a day, she didn't have the strength for a full one, but even the small activity made her daughter happy. And whatever made her daughter happy made Catherine happy.
She wanted to cry when she saw the candles still sitting on the coffee table-Gil's coffee table- but she had no tears left. Her day would be about her daughter, until work came. Then... then she didn't know what she'd do. Maybe call in sick. Maybe brave seeing him, possibly even working with him. A thought that made her nauseous yet giddy simultaneously.
He didn't like the colour of her bathroom. She knew he didn't, she saw it in his face. He didn't say anything, him being the ultimate gentleman that he was, but she knew it all the same. Truth be told, she had never liked it herself. Pink. So not her colour. It should be...green, or a dark purple. But, she reasoned, it *was* only a bathroom.
"Sara, where do you keep your towels?" He asked, half-emerging from the bathroom, dripping wet and grinning.
"I'll show you.." She said, one eyebrow raised flirtatiously. He laughed, letting her pass him and enter the bathroom.
Later on, while they drove to work, she wondered if they had done the right thing. It seemed...spontaneous, something that Sara was not used to. She was almost certain that Gil wasn't, either, but she didn't dare to say anything to him about it. It had felt so right the night before, but now...she wondered if they hadn't acted too quickly.
"How do you feel about a second date?" He asked her, maneuvering the Tahoe smoothly.
"The first one went pretty well.." She replied, catching him smile out of the corner of her eye. She pretended to actually think about his question. "Why the hell not?"
He laughed again, the third time that morning. The first had been as she tried desperately to remove herself from his chest without waking him, but found out from the chuckles escaping his throat that her efforts were in vain. It had been a beautiful way to wake up, and she wanted to continue it, make it a tradition. A ritual. A routine.
"This time we're eating at my place, I don't care whether or not Catherine needs my damned coffee table for another date with Warrick or not." He said jokingly. She loved to see him happy, the way his face shone. She blushed at the thought that she had this affect on him.
"Do you think it was too soon, Gil?" She asked softly, while she played with one of the buttons on her blouse.
He didn't seem phased by her question. "No." He answered calmly. "Do you?"
She grinned, every part of her happy. She loved him so much in that moment that it physically hurt. "No."
Catherine somehow found the strength to drag herself to work that night. She dreaded seeing Warrick. She knew they had to talk, but she wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to face the fact that he didn't love her like she loved him, that she had said the one thing she never thought she'd be able to say and he had rejected her. It was so unlike him, and the memories of the night before still seemed, to her, surreal.
He had made the first move that night in the break room. He had asked her out on their first real date. He had told everyone at work about them first. He was the first one to say that he saw this relationship going somewhere, that she meant more to him than he had ever expected. She had wanted to be the first one to say "I love you". And she had, but she was expecting a reciprocation of those three little words.
Walking into the break room, she caught sight of Grissom and Sara sitting at one of the tables. Nicky was in the corner of the room playing a handheld video game. Warrick was nowhere to be seen. She didn't know whether or not she was thankful.
Catching Gil's eyes staring at her, she quickly turned away so the team couldn't see her face and cheerfully greeted them good morning. Her happiness was fake, but she didn't care. She didn't want any of them to know what she was really feeling.
"Morning, Cath." Gil said, along with the others. He stood up and walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently turning her to face him. The look he gave her when he saw the bags under her eyes and the tears that often came without warning made her sigh. "What's up?" He whispered.
"Nothing's up." She said simply, gently tapping her fingers on the counter surface.
"Warrick's out on jury duty." He said. She recognized the tone in his voice as gentle pleading. Tell me what's wrong, I want to help, his eyes said.
She exhaled the breath she'd been holding in her lungs and threw him a weak smile. "Come with me into the hallway." She took his arm in hers and waited patiently as he reassured Sara and Nick that he would be right back. She saw the way he paid special attention to Sara, and she knew he had feelings for her. She had always known.
Once they were out of earshot, Grissom was th first to speak. "What happened?" He asked, his voice full of worry. Suddenly, a new thought entered his mind and Catherine saw the panic cross his features. "Lindsey's OK, isn't she?"
"Lindsey's fine."
"It's Warrick then." He just knew. He always just knew. Catherine had no idea how he had acquired this gift for looking inside of her mind, and she wasn't sure she wanted one. Gil was just Gil, and he would always be her very best friend.
"How did you know?" She had to ask, even though she knew he'd never tell her the real reason. The real reason why he could read her mind.
"Well, let's see. You've got messy hair, you're wearing next to no makeup, and different coloured socks. The last time I saw you like this it was after the whole fiasco with Eddie." She looked down at her feet. Dammit, he was right. One white sock, one black. "Catherine.." He put a finger on her chin and raised her eyes to meet his. "Talk to me."
"He doesn't love me, Gil." The tears that coated those words made her sound even more broken, and finally she couldn't handle bottling up the devastation inside her any longer. "Wouldn't you know it? It's just my luck, I finally get up the nerve to tell him I love him, and he doesn't even feel the same way. God.." She released a shaky sigh. "I was so sure he was going to feel the same way.."
He reached out to hug her. He didn't know what to say, but somehow he knew holding her would be enough. She was his best friend, and it tore him up inside to see her like this. He wanted to help her, but this was all he could do.
"I'm going to tell you something about Warrick that you may or may not know." He started, but paused, wondering if he should let go of such a big secret. One look at her tear-streaked, grieved facial features and he made up his mind. "When he was younger, before he even became a CSI, he had this girlfriend. Her name was Mandy. She had black hair, blue eyes, she was thin, gorgeous, sweet, the whole package. Warrick loved her more than anything else. But she left him, suddenly, and he's never been the same."
Catherine stared up at him, her blue eyes wide with sympathy. "Why'd she leave him?" She was almost afraid to ask.
"Said he was suffocating her." Grissom told her, shrugging. "Since then he's been afraid of falling in love with women. He doesn't want that to happen again."
Catherine looked down at the tiles beneath her feet, at Gil's brown suede shoes, at the way the heel of her sandal made a black mark on the ground whenever she moved it. "I should talk to him." She said finally.
"It's what I was about to suggest." Gil said, pulling out a tissue from his pocket and offering it to her. "Warrick's not in for jury duty. I sent him home."
His eyes told her what she needed to know. "I'll go." She said, hugging him. "Thanks for everything, Gil."
She made a mental note to tell Sara that she was one lucky girl.
Sara sat on the ground at Grissom's place, eating from a plate set on a wooden coffee table. "This is a really great meal." She commented, setting her fork down. She caught him grinning at her and raised an eyebrow.
"You look so cute when you eat.." He explained, reaching for her hand across the tiny table. "I hope you don't mind about the eating arrangements."
"No way. I think the size of the table makes it all the more romantic." She said, and he caught a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but chose to ignore it. "I really like the candles."
"Thanks." He didn't dare tell her he had borrowed them from Catherine.
"Catherine talked to me today after work." The statement hung in the air, and Sara let it float over to his side of the table. "She told me what you did. How you helped her."
"She's my friend. This thing with Warrick has really got her beat up and I can't stand to see her like that."
"It was still really sweet of you."
"What exactly did she say to you?" He asked, curious. He took a sip of wine, letting it swirl around in his mouth before swallowing it.
"She told me, and these are her exact words, 'Sara, I gotta get home and change, but I just wanted to let you know how lucky you are to have a guy like Gil. He helped me out with some stuff with Warrick, and I just wanted to make sure... don't let him go.'"
He tried not to blush. "It was very uncharacteristic of her, Gil. And it also brings up the question, how did she know about us?" Sara asked. She wasn't really angry, but she liked to pretend to be, just to see how he would respond.
He held up his hands in defense. "Don't look at me! I didn't say anything." He scooted over to her side of the table and kissed her neck. "But she's right, you know. You are one lucky girl.."
She giggled, relishing in the feel of his lips on her skin. "That I am."
TBC! Please R&R
Chapter Six
Author's Notes: This one came quicker than I expected it to. Going into this, I had no idea what I was going to do, but I guess I figured it out, didn't I? Nope, no hints, you'll have to read (oh the torture, I know)
Disclaimers: I don't own CSI. If only..
Thanks: Thank you Tash, for making me laugh with your hyper reviews! And thanks to the lovely Alisha (Kish) for reading my fan fics and TRYING to review them. Haha.
Oh, how I love unresolved issues...
Enjoy.
The sun shone too brightly for her that morning. She expected, when she awoke, a dark, stormy sky with rain pelting down and the air of misery. Instead she got a sunny, cheerful sky with promises of a good day to every other human being besides her.
She told the birds to shut up on her way to the bathroom. She had drank too much vodka the night before, resulting in a minimum of six trips to the toilet while the moon still hung in the sky. She thanked whatever God existed that her daughter was still asleep in her bed, that she wasn't awake to see her mother's face this morning.
A tangled mess of backward pajamas, messy hair and runny mascara, she stumbled into the kitchen to make herself some coffee. The sun shone through the huge windows in the room that was too bright for her eyes to take. Groaning, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and sighed.
So this is what she would be dissolved to without him. Hardly a human. She felt more like a cat, or some other animal that didn't care how they looked, or how they felt, as long as they got to sleep all day. Looking down at the ratty bathrobe she was wearing, she realized for the first time that it was his. Long, silky, and blue, he had always looked best in it while he was still waking up. She remembered the way his hair stuck up more than usual as he climbed out of bed...
She shook her head free of thoughts of him. Deciding wordlessly to pull herself together, if for nothing else, then for Lindsey's sake, she left the table and walked to her bedroom. The clothes she had left on the floor the night before, while she searched for something to wear to dinner, were still there. Her makeup was still strewn across her dresser. The lingerie she had lovingly laid out on her bed was still mocking her, just as it had done every waking moment since he had left.
She finally settled on wearing a simple outfit, running a comb through her hair quickly, and dotting some makeup under her eyes. Then she walked into Lindsey's room to wake her for school. She would only attend half a day, she didn't have the strength for a full one, but even the small activity made her daughter happy. And whatever made her daughter happy made Catherine happy.
She wanted to cry when she saw the candles still sitting on the coffee table-Gil's coffee table- but she had no tears left. Her day would be about her daughter, until work came. Then... then she didn't know what she'd do. Maybe call in sick. Maybe brave seeing him, possibly even working with him. A thought that made her nauseous yet giddy simultaneously.
He didn't like the colour of her bathroom. She knew he didn't, she saw it in his face. He didn't say anything, him being the ultimate gentleman that he was, but she knew it all the same. Truth be told, she had never liked it herself. Pink. So not her colour. It should be...green, or a dark purple. But, she reasoned, it *was* only a bathroom.
"Sara, where do you keep your towels?" He asked, half-emerging from the bathroom, dripping wet and grinning.
"I'll show you.." She said, one eyebrow raised flirtatiously. He laughed, letting her pass him and enter the bathroom.
Later on, while they drove to work, she wondered if they had done the right thing. It seemed...spontaneous, something that Sara was not used to. She was almost certain that Gil wasn't, either, but she didn't dare to say anything to him about it. It had felt so right the night before, but now...she wondered if they hadn't acted too quickly.
"How do you feel about a second date?" He asked her, maneuvering the Tahoe smoothly.
"The first one went pretty well.." She replied, catching him smile out of the corner of her eye. She pretended to actually think about his question. "Why the hell not?"
He laughed again, the third time that morning. The first had been as she tried desperately to remove herself from his chest without waking him, but found out from the chuckles escaping his throat that her efforts were in vain. It had been a beautiful way to wake up, and she wanted to continue it, make it a tradition. A ritual. A routine.
"This time we're eating at my place, I don't care whether or not Catherine needs my damned coffee table for another date with Warrick or not." He said jokingly. She loved to see him happy, the way his face shone. She blushed at the thought that she had this affect on him.
"Do you think it was too soon, Gil?" She asked softly, while she played with one of the buttons on her blouse.
He didn't seem phased by her question. "No." He answered calmly. "Do you?"
She grinned, every part of her happy. She loved him so much in that moment that it physically hurt. "No."
Catherine somehow found the strength to drag herself to work that night. She dreaded seeing Warrick. She knew they had to talk, but she wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to face the fact that he didn't love her like she loved him, that she had said the one thing she never thought she'd be able to say and he had rejected her. It was so unlike him, and the memories of the night before still seemed, to her, surreal.
He had made the first move that night in the break room. He had asked her out on their first real date. He had told everyone at work about them first. He was the first one to say that he saw this relationship going somewhere, that she meant more to him than he had ever expected. She had wanted to be the first one to say "I love you". And she had, but she was expecting a reciprocation of those three little words.
Walking into the break room, she caught sight of Grissom and Sara sitting at one of the tables. Nicky was in the corner of the room playing a handheld video game. Warrick was nowhere to be seen. She didn't know whether or not she was thankful.
Catching Gil's eyes staring at her, she quickly turned away so the team couldn't see her face and cheerfully greeted them good morning. Her happiness was fake, but she didn't care. She didn't want any of them to know what she was really feeling.
"Morning, Cath." Gil said, along with the others. He stood up and walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently turning her to face him. The look he gave her when he saw the bags under her eyes and the tears that often came without warning made her sigh. "What's up?" He whispered.
"Nothing's up." She said simply, gently tapping her fingers on the counter surface.
"Warrick's out on jury duty." He said. She recognized the tone in his voice as gentle pleading. Tell me what's wrong, I want to help, his eyes said.
She exhaled the breath she'd been holding in her lungs and threw him a weak smile. "Come with me into the hallway." She took his arm in hers and waited patiently as he reassured Sara and Nick that he would be right back. She saw the way he paid special attention to Sara, and she knew he had feelings for her. She had always known.
Once they were out of earshot, Grissom was th first to speak. "What happened?" He asked, his voice full of worry. Suddenly, a new thought entered his mind and Catherine saw the panic cross his features. "Lindsey's OK, isn't she?"
"Lindsey's fine."
"It's Warrick then." He just knew. He always just knew. Catherine had no idea how he had acquired this gift for looking inside of her mind, and she wasn't sure she wanted one. Gil was just Gil, and he would always be her very best friend.
"How did you know?" She had to ask, even though she knew he'd never tell her the real reason. The real reason why he could read her mind.
"Well, let's see. You've got messy hair, you're wearing next to no makeup, and different coloured socks. The last time I saw you like this it was after the whole fiasco with Eddie." She looked down at her feet. Dammit, he was right. One white sock, one black. "Catherine.." He put a finger on her chin and raised her eyes to meet his. "Talk to me."
"He doesn't love me, Gil." The tears that coated those words made her sound even more broken, and finally she couldn't handle bottling up the devastation inside her any longer. "Wouldn't you know it? It's just my luck, I finally get up the nerve to tell him I love him, and he doesn't even feel the same way. God.." She released a shaky sigh. "I was so sure he was going to feel the same way.."
He reached out to hug her. He didn't know what to say, but somehow he knew holding her would be enough. She was his best friend, and it tore him up inside to see her like this. He wanted to help her, but this was all he could do.
"I'm going to tell you something about Warrick that you may or may not know." He started, but paused, wondering if he should let go of such a big secret. One look at her tear-streaked, grieved facial features and he made up his mind. "When he was younger, before he even became a CSI, he had this girlfriend. Her name was Mandy. She had black hair, blue eyes, she was thin, gorgeous, sweet, the whole package. Warrick loved her more than anything else. But she left him, suddenly, and he's never been the same."
Catherine stared up at him, her blue eyes wide with sympathy. "Why'd she leave him?" She was almost afraid to ask.
"Said he was suffocating her." Grissom told her, shrugging. "Since then he's been afraid of falling in love with women. He doesn't want that to happen again."
Catherine looked down at the tiles beneath her feet, at Gil's brown suede shoes, at the way the heel of her sandal made a black mark on the ground whenever she moved it. "I should talk to him." She said finally.
"It's what I was about to suggest." Gil said, pulling out a tissue from his pocket and offering it to her. "Warrick's not in for jury duty. I sent him home."
His eyes told her what she needed to know. "I'll go." She said, hugging him. "Thanks for everything, Gil."
She made a mental note to tell Sara that she was one lucky girl.
Sara sat on the ground at Grissom's place, eating from a plate set on a wooden coffee table. "This is a really great meal." She commented, setting her fork down. She caught him grinning at her and raised an eyebrow.
"You look so cute when you eat.." He explained, reaching for her hand across the tiny table. "I hope you don't mind about the eating arrangements."
"No way. I think the size of the table makes it all the more romantic." She said, and he caught a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but chose to ignore it. "I really like the candles."
"Thanks." He didn't dare tell her he had borrowed them from Catherine.
"Catherine talked to me today after work." The statement hung in the air, and Sara let it float over to his side of the table. "She told me what you did. How you helped her."
"She's my friend. This thing with Warrick has really got her beat up and I can't stand to see her like that."
"It was still really sweet of you."
"What exactly did she say to you?" He asked, curious. He took a sip of wine, letting it swirl around in his mouth before swallowing it.
"She told me, and these are her exact words, 'Sara, I gotta get home and change, but I just wanted to let you know how lucky you are to have a guy like Gil. He helped me out with some stuff with Warrick, and I just wanted to make sure... don't let him go.'"
He tried not to blush. "It was very uncharacteristic of her, Gil. And it also brings up the question, how did she know about us?" Sara asked. She wasn't really angry, but she liked to pretend to be, just to see how he would respond.
He held up his hands in defense. "Don't look at me! I didn't say anything." He scooted over to her side of the table and kissed her neck. "But she's right, you know. You are one lucky girl.."
She giggled, relishing in the feel of his lips on her skin. "That I am."
TBC! Please R&R
