Chapter Ten

It was, Ravage decided, quite hard to convey the message "Will you lot of flesh sacks just be quiet and stay still so I can think of a plan?" when all that came out was "MEW MEW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEW MEW ROOOOAAAR!"

I must get a voice synthesizer, he thought fiercely, even if I have to rip it out of the chest of Rumble . . . it's not like he uses it to say anything clever, anyway! Though I must remember not steal Starscream's voice synthesizer; that has an irritability factor high enough to shred titanium.

With a garbled sigh, the panther took a long, accessing study at his "troops." However, the possibility of ever returning to his reality where there were voice synthesizers TO steal, was looking rather slim.

At the moment, the human known as "Rainbow Brite" seemd to be arguing with the smaller equine, "Shady," in loud voices regarding whether dark pink went with fuschia hair.

The two bears known as "Tenderheart" and "Wish Bear" were hugging and telling each other that they were "special," in what seemed like a bizarre ritual to further boost their already strange powers.

Ravage edged a little further away. He had already seen the destructive effect "Care Bear stare" ... his audio servos were still ringing with the version of "Kumbaya" that Megatron and Starscream decided to regale the group with.

And to his far right, the yellow popple was edging closer and closer to another portal, ears bobbing in excitement. "I smell FOOD there! Strawberries! And Shortcake!" she declared. Luckily, Starlite grabbed her tail before she could jump through it.

"Dawon't doo thwat!" the horse muttered through the mouthful of fur. "Oo oant knoo where dat goo!"

"For once, I agree with the poly chromatic equine: STAY PUT, you sorry excuse for a carbon based life form!" Ravage ordered, rather ineffectively. The two just looked at him and shrugged.

"But there's FOOD there! Strawberries! I smell it!" the popple insisted, tugging at her tail.

"Stay!" Starlite repeated.

When it looked like the popple might actually FREE herself from the stallion, Ravage sprinted over, baring his teeth at her. He could NOT let them all separate, not with such scattered plans!

With a shriek, the creature promptly rolled up into a ball again, all thoughts of strawberries forgotten.

Finally free to let go of the popple's tail, Starlite turned to the panther.

"STOP THAT!" he declared, stamping a hoof. "BAD KITTY! Don't SCARE her! BAAAAAD KITTY!"

"You're one to talk, you multi-colored excuse for a walking glue factory." Ravage grumbled. "If I didn't need you for cannon fodder, I'd gladly turn you into rainbow Jello myself."

Though,as he eyed the small, plump ball that was Potato Chip -- of all the misfits, he had to admit that he felt a strange affinity with the yellow puffbag. She COULD transform in some manner, even if it was into a useless flesh sack. And that sleek tail with a powder puff tip... a sudden yearning welled up within him, a secret desire to have a puffy ...

With difficulty, Ravange forced his thoughts back at the matter at hand. The two bipedal bears seemed to have some sort of an army at their disposal; Ravage, however, wasn't sure he could trust them. They were an unknown factor. Backup, however, would truly be appreciated.

"LOOK, all of you, we can't just blindly go into the first portal we see: we need to have a plan of attack, we must bring back help to ..." Ravage's eyes bulged as the human girl, distracted by his ineffective mewing, came over and patted him on the head.

"There, there kitty, it'll be all right! We'll find our way home," she comforted. Ravage, too stunned to even think about biting her hand off, just clanked into a miserable heap on the grey misty floor. Some days, he wished he had never been manufactured.

"Maybe I can help?" a new voice came through, making the Decepticon blink in surprise and check his optical sensors for a malfunction. A . . . tiger . . . was emerging through the mist towards them. Ravage blinked, suddenly noticing the abrupt silence from the rest of the group. He couldn't blame them. The picture of feline perfection stood before him! Oh, to have the gracefullness of the joints, the traction of those paws ... the ... green and yellow stripes?!

Then he remembered his current bright pink coloring. Beggars couldn't be choosers, after all.

"You can understand me?!" he asked.

"Yup," The tiger said cheerfully. "Do the rest of you understand me?"

Shocked by the appearance of the tiger, the others could only nod numbly. Potato Chip, still in her balled state, merely trembled in reply.

"Good! My fellow feline here has a point; you all seem to need help, and you won't find it by just blindly going from portal to portal. Maybe my master, Adam, can help."

Ravage noticed yet another human emerging through the mist. A human wearing a white and ... pinkish purple suit.

"We've been sensing some type of disturbance throughout all of Eternia." the man said, crossing his arms in a rather ... manly way. His voice held a tone that indicated that he was accustomed to being obeyed. "I have a feeling that you all might be a part of that. And I also had a feeling that you will need MY help!"

Now THAT'S the kind of Voice Synthesizer I want to steal! Ravage thought. I'd be leading the Decepticons in NO time, with THAT voice!

"Yes. Well. It's my fault, really," the pink pony stepped up. "I mean, in Ponyland, it's where it all began, so it MUST be my fault. Everything in Ponyland is MY fault!"

"Somehow, I doubt that it IS your fault. I sense another force at work! IT IS SKELETOR!" the man declared, fiercely gesturing! "By the POWERS OF GREYSKULL . . ."

"Err, Adam ... ixnay on the ranformingtay . . . we have watchers!" the tiger insisted.

Ravage felt his audio sensors perk up, and he quelled the urge to transform into audio tape mode. Humans? Transforming?! He HAD to report this back to Soundwave and the others. If Humans could transform that meant that the balance of power could be shifting . . .

"Oh. Right." the man looked vaguely disappointed. "I forgot."

Ravage snorted. Then again . . .

"And it's not this Skeletor person," said Rainbow Brite. "It's this Barbie lady. She's intent on taking over ALL our worlds."

"This Barbie," the man mused, "are you SURE she's not a skeleton faced man in disguise?"

"Errr ...yes, I'm quite sure."

"Maybe it's Evil-lyn?" The man mused. "Lady dressed in black, with a bad attitude?"

"Err. I don't know who that is, but Barbie dresses in pink. You got the attitude right, though."

"Well, no matter! ALL LADIES WILL FALL UNDER THE MANLY MALE POWER OF HE--"

The tiger again interrupted his master. "Adam! Ix-nay on the e-manhay! Secret identities, remember?!"

"Oh. Right!"

Ravage decided that this had gone on way to long. "Returning to the matter at hand, would you mind translating for me?" he looked at the tiger, who nodded amiably.

"Heck, translating for YOU is a heck of a lot more fun that listening to HIM," he muttered under his breath. "Always talking about his manly muscles. Hah! Do you KNOW how much he weighs and who has to carry him around?!"

"Ahem! The two bears can rally an army, and we might be able to use it to defeat the evil Barbie. I need you to tell the yellow puffball over there that we need her help. She needs to sniff those bears then sniff out the right portal. Unlike MY clogged sensors, her sense of smell seems to be in perfect working condition; I'm SURE we can find the correct portal that way."

The tiger translated for him, though he had to reassure the popple more than a few times that he was not about to make her an appetizer. With a timid smile, the popple went over to the two Care Bears, taking a careful sniff.

"Got it!" she declared as she turned her nose to the air. "it's the bluey-purply-green one, over there!"

"Thank you," Tenderheart said, as he made his way over to the portal. "We'll be back with the others in a flash!"

"Can you find the portal to ALL our homes?!" Rainbow Brite asked.

The popple paused. "Sure, I think so. Though I really really REALLY want to visit the strawberry smelling one. Mmm."

"Then we all must go and gather our respective forces and bring them here." Ravage ordered.

"Then the power of caring will save the day!" declared Tenderheart.

"NO, The Power of Rainbows and Light!" argued Rainbow Bright.

"The power of my manly man-ness!" asserted Adam.

"Umm, pony power?" suggested Shady. "though I know I'll just RUIN that!"

"WHATEVER!" Ravage snarled. "As long as we get our acts together and HELP."

After a few more moments of bickering, the group reluctantly lurched off to find the correct portals.

With a backwards glance, Ravage felt an excited hum begin deep in his servos.

They were about to gather the greatest army ever known to defeat the greatest evil ever known . . .

. . . and afterwards . . . when all the others' defenses would be down . . .

. . . ALL the worlds would be RIPE for Decepticon conquest ...


To be continued . . .