There's nothing hidden in your
head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't
be afraid!
And don't get in the flap!
You're safe in my hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its
song. It bowed to each of the four
tables with the four houses seated in them and then became a normal old hat
again.
Lily let out the breath she had been holding without knowing
she was holding it. The girl next her
squirmed a little and sighed as well.
"I'm so glad all we have to do is try on some old hat! I'm so relived. Aken, my older brother in
his third year, kept going on about killing the giant squid in the lake. I'm going to kill him. You just wait."
Lily hadn't known there was a squid in the lake, but nodded
anyway. Lily let her self smile and
laughed nervously. "I didn't know what
to expect," she admitted. "You see, I'm
muggle born, and I didn't know what would happen except the roomers that went
around in the chamber back there."
The girl looked at her warmly. Her eyes were a soft blue with gold flecks in them. Her eyes looked too big for her small
body. She was short and delicate with
dark golden ringlets that went just past her earlobes. She had rosy cheeks (contrasting her pale
skin) and the perfect smile with straight small teeth. In fact, she looked very strange when she
wasn't smiling. If she wasn't smiling
and laughing, people would go up to her and ask her what was wrong. She was very pretty. And Lily liked her right away.
"Hi. I'm Aeris
Lorie. And I'm going to be in
Hufflepuff," said Aeris smiling.
"Hi. I'm Lily
Evans. How do you know that you are
going to be in Hufflepuff? I didn't
think anyone really knew," asked Lily.
"Well, I guess that I don't really know. It's just that all of my family has been in
Hufflepuff for the past half century.
Well, except Great Aunt Lola, but I don't think she should count."
"Why?"
"Well, she was my dad's half aunt, and she was in
Gryffindor. But everyone always said
there was something wrong in her upper story.
I met her a few times before she died last year, and she seemed normal
to me. Well, more than normal than the
rest of my family at least," Aeris explained.
"Oh. Well, I don't
really have any idea what house I'll be in.
I'm kind of hoping for Gryffindor, but Hufflepuff would be my next
choice," Lily said, trying to be nice.
"Not mine. I think
Hufflepuff is for losers! If I could
chose, I'd pick Gryffindor, then Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, then
(yuck!) Slytherin. Hufflepuff is all
good and well, but Hufflepuffs in general are all such prats! Which means everyone I'm related to is a
prat. Can you imagine family reunions? They're terrible," sighed Aeris, still
smiling, looking a little strange.
"Yeah, I'd love to be in Gryffindor, just so long as some
boys I know aren't, if you know what I mean.
They are so…. So annoying! With
my luck, whatever house I'm in, they'll be in it as well."
"I know how that goes.
I know a few kids that I don't want to be stuck with either," Aeris
agreed, eying a short chubby boy with light brown hair and watery blue
eyes. "Peter. He lived in my hometown a few years ago. He tagged along everywhere me and Aken
went. It's not that he's really
annoying himself, it's just he followed us everywhere!" Aeris' eyes showed her anger, but she was
still smiling.
"He doesn't look too bad," Lily said, eyeing the boy who was
now sucking up to easily the biggest boy in the crowd.
"When I call your name," McGonagall ordered, startling most
of the students who had been talking nervously, "you will put the hat on and
sit on the stool to be sorted. Aaron,
Devin!"
The boy Peter had been talking to with greasy brown hair and
huge biceps stepped away from the crowd of first years (which he towered over
most of) pushed Peter out of his way, and put on the hat, which looked tight on
his huge head, and it was a big hat!
The hat was only on his head for a second before it shrieked
"SLYTHERIN!" The boy stood and smugly walked over and sat down at the cheering
Slytherin table, second table from the right.
McGonagall looked down at her parchment again and said,
"Almasy, Seifer!"
A boy with short dreadlocks sticking up in every direction
(a lot like James' hair) in his sandy blonde hair stepped up the stool and
placed the Sorting hat on tilted to one side.
A few people (girls) sitting at the tables giggled; most of the
girls still in line smiled and blushed a little.
This boy had to sit and wait longer than Devin had. After thirty seconds or so the hat shouted,
"GRYFFINDOR!" The table furthest to the
left exploded with cheering. The
grinning Seifer walked coolly to the Gryffindor table and sat down pushing
apart two girls to sit in-between them.
"Black, Sirius," said McGonagall, pronouncing Sirius' name
wrong.
"It's SIRIUS!" exclaimed the pink haired Sirius, saying it
correctly. McGonagall muttered an
apology and hurriedly handed him the hat.
A few people sniggered and pointed at his hair.
"I already have a hat, thank you. It said on the list to buy one, so I did. And mine's much nicer than yours is anyway,"
Sirius said pushing her hat holding hand away.
Three of the four tables cracked up laughing, but the
Slytherin table remained silent. Sirius
grinned at his success.
"I don't want to give you the hat, I want you to wear it,"
McGonagall sighed.
"Ooh, I can't. It's
not my color," he explained in a high voice and played with his hair, pointing
to the once black, now gray hat, causing more laughter and a few hidden grins
from the Slytherins. (A/N: I'm a poet
and I didn't even know it!) "Black and pink match fine, but gray and
pink, never!"
"Black…"
"What are you mad women?
I'm white! And my hair is pink!"
More laughter. "My robes are black though. But how rude of you to refer to me by my
robe color. Plus, then you'd have to call everybody the same thing. It could get pretty confusing you know."
"Sirius Black, stop being difficult and just put the hat
on!"
"I'd love to, really I would… not. But I can't 'cause I think that Devin Aaron kid has lice," Sirius
said.
Seifer's hand went to his hair and his smile faded. Everyone else laughed harder; except the
Slytherins who were offended. No one
had to hide their grins, for there weren't any at that table.
"He doesn't have lice, now just put it on." Seifer's hand went back to his lap, and his
face regained it natural color.
"If you insist," sighed Sirius. He sat on the stool and pulled the hat on his foot, as if it were
a sock, and then sat there waiting.
"Sirius Black, take that hat off your foot and put it on
your head. NOW!"
Sirius sighed again and took the hat off his foot. He stared at it for a moment, and then
placed it on his head, the opening of the hat facing right, the point facing
left. The laughter continued.
McGonagall's face reddened and she gasped, "Detention,
tomorrow night. With Filch, at
eight." The four tables gasped. He got detention, on his first day? This kid was good.
A grin could be seen as McGonagall stuffed the hat on his
head. There's one, though
Sirius, making a list in his head.
Sirius, one; James, Zip.
"Hmm," the hat said in his head. "This really isn't too hard.
Let's think. I'd have to say
GRYFFINDOR!"
Sirius heard the hat shout the last word. He stood up and walked slowly to the table
and sat down. James grinned at him and
shot him two thumbs up. Sirius smiled
and returned the gesture.
Sirius was followed by, "Bowen, Jennifer" who was the first
Ravenclaw followed by "Dagget, Chez" who was a Gryffindor. Then two Hufflepuff girls, "Dincht,
Selphie," and "Erickson, Rinoa." Then…
"Evans, Lily!" Lily wiped her sweaty hands on her robe and
walked tensely to the stool and placed the Sorting hat on her head. The hat was much too big for her and she
looked at the inside of the hat, while listening to what it was saying.
"Hmm, you're a tough one you are. Could be in anyone of the houses you could. You sure are a smart one, that's for sure
but then… so much courage. The courage
overshadows everything else. Better
make it GRYFFINDOR!"
Lily sighed a relived sigh, and stood still shaking. She looked back and her eyes met
James'. He smiled and gave her thumbs
up too. She smiled back and walked to
the Gryffindor table, sitting almost on the end, so she wasn't close to Sirius. Sirius noticed this, and slide over next to
her, "Hey... honey." She rolled her
eyes and smiled at him.
"Gildy, Sam" was another Slytherin. "Hydle, Quinn" and "Jerkins, Penny" were
Ravenclaws. "Kinneas, Leon" was Hufflepuff.
"Longbottom, Frank," caught James' attention. This was probably his dad's friend's son. But when Frank was Ravenclaw, he pretty much
forgot about him.
"Lorie, Aeris!" Lily looked up and grinned encouragingly at
her new friend. Aeris grinned back, a
little less believable then her normal smile, though. The hat was on her head for nearly ten minutes (it seemed a lot
longer than that) before it pronounced her Gryffindor. Lily jumped up and down and screamed. She was by far the loudest Gryffindor.
Aeris walked down off the stage and to the Gryffindor table,
and sat next to Lily. "I'm so glad I'm
Gryffindor!" said Aeris.
"So am I!" agreed Lily.
"I was nearly Hufflepuff, but I pleaded with the hat, and it
changed its mind."
"I didn't know you could do that."
"Neither did I."
"Lupin, Remus," was called and the hat barely touched his
head, before it yelled "GRYFFINDOR!"
Remus ran to the Gryffindor table and was about to sit next
to Sirius, when he saw the look in his eye, and sat down leaving one seat
between Sirius and himself.
"McKesson, Kenny"… "McPherson, Lance"… "Mess, Hannah"… "Paige,
Quistis"… "Parks, Darren"… "Pettigrew, Peter"… "Pots, Ferric" and finally,
"Potter, James!"
James stepped forward, his green, blue, black, white, and
yellow hair catching everyone's attention.
One look at him, and McGonagall sighed and rubbed her forehead. She knew what she was headed for.
But, surprisingly, James said nothing. He simply went to the stool, sat down, and
put the hat on. McGonagall was
astonished. Sirius wasn't. He knew what was coming, and started to
drift into sleep muttering, "This is going to take awhile; world record, coming
right up..."
"This is going to be difficult," said the voice in James
head.
That's alright, thought James. We're
not rushed on time.
"Yes of course we are."
That's nonsense.
They can't do anything about it if we just sit here and chitchat for a
while. So, how's your family?"
"My, excuse me, family?
I'm a hat, I don't have family."
Really? That's so
sad. How did they die? Car-crash maybe. I hear that's how a lot of muggles are dying now a days.
"I told you, I'm a hat, and I know what you are trying to do. Just trying to take up time! I can see into your mind, remember?"
Yes I remember. But shouldn't you have known that I
remember? Maybe you can't do everything
you said you could do.
"Of course I
can. I just like to be humble."
I like to be annoying.
"Yes, I
know."
I know that you know! It's so hard to have a normal conversation
with a know-it-all hat!
"I'm not a
know-it-all hat."
I think you are. And you know that I think that, because you
are a know-it-all hat!
"Well, maybe
you do have a point, but really, I think I need to go back to Sorting you."
But you don't really want to,
do you? I don't need to be a
know-it-all hat to know that. Wouldn't
you rather tell me your problems and likes, instead of looking through
mine? It's somewhat nice to actually
have conversations, you know.
"Actually I
don't know. Not from hands on
experience."
You are such poor hat. Never to have known what it's like to really
live. Never had a family. Or friends. To have to sing songs, and to not be appreciated every year, that
must be really tough.
"Oh it
is. It really is! But you're the first one to understand
that! Everyone else just takes me for
granted. I'm just a hat, they think, I
don't have feelings, I wont care if the stick their stinky feet in me!"
I have to apologize for that
one. My friend Sirius and I are
troublemakers, and I helped him think of that.
We weren't thinking about you.
I'm so sorry. Well, I didn't
really help him think of that, because I didn't know how we were going to be
sorted, but had I gone before him, instead of him before me, I would have
probably done the same thing. I know that you already knew all that but isn't
it just so much nicer that hear it from me, instead of going through my head
and finding it?
"Yes, it
really was. So this is what a
conversation is like."
Yeah, pretty much.
"This is
nice. It's nice to know that you
understand me. No one has understood me
since Beauxbatons and Durmstrang where built."
Why's that?
"I said I
didn't have family. Not in the way you
do at least. But in a strange way I
do. There were these two other hats
made in the same way I was for the same purpose. One went to Beauxbatons and the other went to Durmstrang. Before they were sent off, however, we got
to talk. But that was so long ago, I
almost forgot about it. So this is my
second conversation I'm having here."
Two conversations in your
whole, long life is pretty pitiful. I'm
sorry that you had to be a hat. You
really would have made a nice friend.
If only you were born in my… decade…well, lifetime. If you want, you can sort me now even though
it's only been fifteen minutes. I was
hoping for thirty minutes, but you better get back to work; otherwise you'll be
up all night.
"Oh, I don't
care if I am up all night. This is the
only time the whole year that I get to do anything worth while, and I'm going
to take as long as I want with my friend James!"
You show them… um…do you have a
name?
"Not
really. When I was with the other hats,
I had a nickname though. I can't
remember it right now, but it will come to be if I think about it."
Okay, neat.
"Okay. Let me think. The Beauxbatons hat we called Chimp, because she had this thing
for monkeys. I don't know why, but I
guess the man who made her, messed her up a little. Man would she go on and on about those monkeys. And Durmstrang
was Drum, because you know, Durm-Drum, they are similar."
Yeah, they are. And who were you?
I was myself.
Well, not who then. What was your nickname?
I'm trying to
remember. I think it was,
Stallion. Yes, Stallion.
Stallion? Where in the heck did they get that?
"It's a
little confusing. First take
Hogwarts. Then, the next one is
obvious. When you think of the word
Hogwarts, what do you think of?"
A pig with warts, right?
"Right. So, a female pig, or male, is often called a
swine."
Okay. I get it that far. But
how do they get Stallion out of swine?
"I'm getting there,
I'm getting there. So then, swine
rhymes with stein, stein almost rhymes with Clyde, and then you get Clydesdale,
as in horse. Horse then goes to
Stallion."
That made no sense whatsoever.
"I don't
think it does either, but Drum insisted that it did."
I think that you should have
named Drum, Psychopath instead of Drum.
It sure would have fit him better.
"I'll agree
with that!
So, why didn't you let Chimp
name you instead?
"We had a
deal going on. I named Chimp, Chimp
named Drum, and Drum named me. I think
I got the worst end of the deal, but Stallion isn't too bad of a name."
No, it isn't.
"If Chimp had
named me I might have ended up with Warts or Hoggie or something like that, so
maybe it's a good thing."
Yeah that's probably true.
I have a question real fast… Oh, never mind I just answered it myself.
James heard
the Stallion chuckle in his head.
Don't make fun, just because I
forgot that you could sing out loud.
"Sorry"
S'okay. You just hurt my feelings really bad.
"I did not! I can still look into your head.
Oh yeah. For a minute there I for got that you are a
know-it-all hat!
"Fine, fine,
I wont do it again."
You better not. Question though
– did you all have to sing to each other when you had the conversation, or
what?
"I can talk."
That is much more convenient
than singing.
"Yes, I
know."
And so James
and Stallion continued on with their conversation. (A/N: I could keep going with their conversation,
but this chapter is long enough as it is, and I don't want to do ten more
pages!) Subjects varying. Going from Quidditch to Headmasters of the
past. Stallion even replayed the
Sorting of his mother and father for James.
Along with Dumbledore's own Sorting, which was rather interesting.
Stallion? How long have we been talking?
"About an
hour and seven minutes."
Whoa! That's a lot longer than I thought it would be. Time sure does fly, doesn't it?
"Sure
does. I hate for you to go, but I think
that I had better start deciding where you are going to end up."
Yeah, you'd better. Too bad I'll never be able to talk to you
again. It was really fun.
"That makes
me feel terrible. I'll never talk to
you again."
Well. You might. I'm sure I'll go so Dumbledore's office enough, and while
I'm there, I'll find you and talk to you.
"Okay. I'm
just going to think in my own head for a minute. I'd feel stupid talking about nonsense like I do with the other
Sortings." And then Stallion was quiet.
The silence was almost deafening for James after talking for an
hour. After another ten minutes
Stallion sighed. You really are
hard. I think you'll have to be a
Gryffindor."
James pulled
off the hat and stood up, but there was no cheering. He looked around and realized everyone was asleep and Stallion
must not have yelled the last word.
James looked at McGonagall (sleeping standing up) laughed a little and
put Stallion back on his head.
Stallion. I can't stay here forever. I need you to yell out Gryffindor for
me. Please.
"Okay. I'll miss you James.
I'll miss you too, Stallion.
"Bye. GRYFFINDOR!" Stallion yelled the last word and the whole hall, most of who had
been sleeping, looked up and many shouted out in surprise. Then there was silence for a while and then
the whole Gryffindor table burst into loud cheers, waking up any who hadn't
already awoke.
When James
took his seat next to Sirius (who was pretending to be asleep still) he grabbed
Sirius' ear, and jerked him up. "Ouch,"
Sirius complained, holding his ear.
"Sorry. Did you time that? I think it was about an hour and eight minutes."
"I timed
it. One hour, nine minutes and
thirty-eight seconds. Impressive. You've got to have beaten the record, if
there is one."
"Yeah," James
agreed.
"Pun,
Kaki"… "Pun, Kari"… "Reese, Ryan"…
"Roundy, Paula"… "Rulings, Serge"… "Sage, Kalona"… No one stood out to James
and Sirius until the name "Snape, Severus" was called. A boy with greasy black hair a hooked nose,
and sallow skin walked up to Stallion.
He placed Stallion on top of his greasy mass of hair, and James suddenly
felt very sorry for Stallion. To have
someone with hair as greasy as that, and skin so sallow, (a/n: hehe, I feel like I'm repeating myself) put
you on his head, must be terrible.
"He's
perfect," whispered Sirius.
"Perfect for
what?" Lily and Aeris asked at the same time.
"To torture,"
James said.
"To torture?"
questioned Aeris.
"That is what
he said, isn't it?" Sirius smirked.
"Yes, but I
don't understand why he is perfect, he sure doesn't look perfect" Aeris said.
"To torture,"
added Lily.
"Because he
is such a git," Sirius explained.
"How can you
tell that? You haven't even met the
fellow."
"And we don't
need to, to be able to tell that he is Slytherin to the core. That really isn't a pleasant thing to be,"
James said, soundings as if it were a known fact and that the girls were thick
for not knowing this.
"You aren't
going to torture him before he gives you a reason to, are you James?" asked
Lily.
"'Course
not. But it wont take very long for him
to prove himself worthy of our claming he is perfect," James said, and Sirius
nodded.
"Perfect for
what?" asked the exasperated Aeris.
"To torture!" Her three companions practically yelled.
"Why didn't
you just say so?" James rolled his eyes.
"You boys are so silly," exclaimed Aeris.
"Are not!"
argued Sirius.
"Yes, you
are," Lily said agreeing with Aeris.
"Sirius, just
admit that you are silly," James said, pushing his friend.
"She was
talking about both of us, kid."
"Yeah, but it
doesn't apply to me, 'cause it ain't the truth."
"Yes it is!"
the three said at once.
"Fine, fine. But I'm only agreeing because I'm out
numbered."