They sat again at a slight angle from each other, one on the couch and the other in the chair, but this time with he standing aside, by his equipment, simply watching the scene unfold. It broke both of their hearts and he knew it because it was breaking his own, but he also knew that both were aware as he was of the dangers of catering to those emotions, and he hoped that they would use the prospect of Deleana's safety and survival to draw strength and courage. Willfully saying good-bye to a mother or a child with the knowledge that you may never meet again is never easy, but if the reasons are prominent enough, steel could be put to good use.
Regardless, it was still cold and hard and naturally both women were searching for the opposite right now. It hadn't been enough time. Hell, it could never be enough...a year could have slipped into yesterday and still "farewell" would be as hard to utter as it presently was. There had been revelation and there had been survival but still they were being torn apart and it didn't seem fair.
Well, hope is for losers, remember Max?
She sighed and bowed her head dejectedly. It's a con job. That's what I used to think. That's what I used to believe, that's what used to keep me apart.
She looked to Logan then and around the penthouse that had become like her second home, and finally met her mother's eyes once again and remembered how unnerved she had been the first time she was allowed passage into them. Fate was delivering a cruel blow at the moment but part of this had been lucky, hadn't it? And it was lucky that she had crossed paths with Zack. And it was lucky that she had gotten a chance to see Brin again, no matter for how briefly it had been.
Yes, that's how I used to be. But maybe I'm changing.
She smiled reassuringly at Deleana and took the woman's hand in her own, so much so like she had done back when everything that needed to be said had finally been said and all the pertinent discoveries had been made. Her mother tried to mirror the expressions but instead fell prey to her tears and resented them for coming accompanied with a dull throb around her temples. She had, indeed, suffered from a minor concussion, and though it was fading fast a measure of pain still persisted, the state of her badly wounded left hand not helping in the least. All irritating when you now have to deal with emotional anguish as well. Not that they hadn't both known a week ago that this day would inevitably come, that Deleana would have to be shipped off to a more secure location after the confrontation in the safe house. As all other things, that knowledge didn't make the actual event any less difficult.
Max reached forward and wrapped her arms tenderly around Deleana, resting her head on the woman's shoulder, playing both perfectly and sincerely the role of the deeply loving daughter. The affection momentarily drove her to tears as well and she wanted to forget the people Logan had contacted and keep her mother here, like this, in her arms forever. However, sense won out and she recognized that as being a good thing, the same as she had recently recognized the fortune of having met her mother at all. She pulled away and Deleana reached up to brush a charcoal lock behind Max's ear.
"It'll be okay," Max whispered. "And even if it's not, it has to be done. Then...maybe someday, when things calm down a little, we can rap up again."
Oh, whom was she kidding? Things would never calm down...but Zack HAD continued showing up before the plane crash, so maybe it was possible. She now hung onto that same hope she had so distrusted in the past with every fiber of her being and vowed silently never to let go of it or to give up because if she had her way, they WOULD see each other again. And such goals can't be realized if you're too cynical and afraid to take some risks.
"I hope you're right," Deleana returned with a sad smile. "I hope so badly that you're right."
They hugged again and then soon after the drive had been taken, the transfer made and she was gone, off to the nationwide haven that post-Pulse Canada had become.
*******
They lay entangled in each other's arms and for once she didn't feel like sex and that was okay, because sex didn't exactly seem appropriate at the moment anyway. Right now she needed him for the more, and she was glad for it and no longer found it a confusing and difficult part of relationships. It was amazing how one chance encounter and one nearly earth-shattering event could completely rearrange everything, amazing and wonderful.
Logan was amazing and wonderful. Not just in bed (oh that was great, without a doubt), but because now he was holding her and stroking her hair and she didn't even have to say anything; he understood. He completely understood her, something no one else had bothered to take the time to do. Zack knew her DNA but he couldn't grasp the person she was and that's why Logan won out. Sure, she loved Zack; he was her big brother, he'd always have a place especially designated for him. But if he were to come back and try to be a constant fixture in her life, if he wanted her to run across the border with him, he had to first see where she stood. So far he had been too preoccupied with looking over her head to do that.
She snuggled harder into her lover and took in his scent, letting it wash over her and engulf her and soothe away the pain of giving up her mother. It was fresh and it burned but it wasn't as bad as it could have been; now she knew how to deal with it.
And maybe everything was for the best. Maybe it was going the way it was supposed to go. What was it that Logan's grandmother had said? "The universe is right on schedule."
She chuckled slightly and he responded by pulling her in even closer, wrapping her even tighter in himself.
Or maybe, maybe it's just what we make of it. Maybe it's all a matter of seeing things with the right perspective.
She drifted off sometime soon after, and for once her slumber was devoid of nightmares.
FIN
*******
Post.Script: Rah, 'tis the end. I'm thinking I should have the first chapter of 'The Road to Deleana' up fairly quickly...the shiptastic-ness still needs an outline, though (right now I only have the basic plot in mind), so that'll take a little longer in coming but I'm finally out of school so until I find a job I'll have a hell of a lot more time to write for you guys, heh. But um...on that front I have to warn that after two years of mulling over an original idea I had, I've finally gotten the will and the courage to start on it (partly in thanks to you people, I'll admit it :)), and that is gonna receive top priority, because while fanfic can only be displayed, this story can actually be published and I DO want to be a writer. So um...yeeeeeeeeeeah. Who knows, though? This place DOES have an originals section... *thoughtful stroking of chin*
But thanks a lot you guys, especially to you who kept up with it the whole way through. I know it's been said(*sings* many times, many ways, Merry Chri...oh, right), but hey, you guys keep me going. :)
Regardless, it was still cold and hard and naturally both women were searching for the opposite right now. It hadn't been enough time. Hell, it could never be enough...a year could have slipped into yesterday and still "farewell" would be as hard to utter as it presently was. There had been revelation and there had been survival but still they were being torn apart and it didn't seem fair.
Well, hope is for losers, remember Max?
She sighed and bowed her head dejectedly. It's a con job. That's what I used to think. That's what I used to believe, that's what used to keep me apart.
She looked to Logan then and around the penthouse that had become like her second home, and finally met her mother's eyes once again and remembered how unnerved she had been the first time she was allowed passage into them. Fate was delivering a cruel blow at the moment but part of this had been lucky, hadn't it? And it was lucky that she had crossed paths with Zack. And it was lucky that she had gotten a chance to see Brin again, no matter for how briefly it had been.
Yes, that's how I used to be. But maybe I'm changing.
She smiled reassuringly at Deleana and took the woman's hand in her own, so much so like she had done back when everything that needed to be said had finally been said and all the pertinent discoveries had been made. Her mother tried to mirror the expressions but instead fell prey to her tears and resented them for coming accompanied with a dull throb around her temples. She had, indeed, suffered from a minor concussion, and though it was fading fast a measure of pain still persisted, the state of her badly wounded left hand not helping in the least. All irritating when you now have to deal with emotional anguish as well. Not that they hadn't both known a week ago that this day would inevitably come, that Deleana would have to be shipped off to a more secure location after the confrontation in the safe house. As all other things, that knowledge didn't make the actual event any less difficult.
Max reached forward and wrapped her arms tenderly around Deleana, resting her head on the woman's shoulder, playing both perfectly and sincerely the role of the deeply loving daughter. The affection momentarily drove her to tears as well and she wanted to forget the people Logan had contacted and keep her mother here, like this, in her arms forever. However, sense won out and she recognized that as being a good thing, the same as she had recently recognized the fortune of having met her mother at all. She pulled away and Deleana reached up to brush a charcoal lock behind Max's ear.
"It'll be okay," Max whispered. "And even if it's not, it has to be done. Then...maybe someday, when things calm down a little, we can rap up again."
Oh, whom was she kidding? Things would never calm down...but Zack HAD continued showing up before the plane crash, so maybe it was possible. She now hung onto that same hope she had so distrusted in the past with every fiber of her being and vowed silently never to let go of it or to give up because if she had her way, they WOULD see each other again. And such goals can't be realized if you're too cynical and afraid to take some risks.
"I hope you're right," Deleana returned with a sad smile. "I hope so badly that you're right."
They hugged again and then soon after the drive had been taken, the transfer made and she was gone, off to the nationwide haven that post-Pulse Canada had become.
*******
They lay entangled in each other's arms and for once she didn't feel like sex and that was okay, because sex didn't exactly seem appropriate at the moment anyway. Right now she needed him for the more, and she was glad for it and no longer found it a confusing and difficult part of relationships. It was amazing how one chance encounter and one nearly earth-shattering event could completely rearrange everything, amazing and wonderful.
Logan was amazing and wonderful. Not just in bed (oh that was great, without a doubt), but because now he was holding her and stroking her hair and she didn't even have to say anything; he understood. He completely understood her, something no one else had bothered to take the time to do. Zack knew her DNA but he couldn't grasp the person she was and that's why Logan won out. Sure, she loved Zack; he was her big brother, he'd always have a place especially designated for him. But if he were to come back and try to be a constant fixture in her life, if he wanted her to run across the border with him, he had to first see where she stood. So far he had been too preoccupied with looking over her head to do that.
She snuggled harder into her lover and took in his scent, letting it wash over her and engulf her and soothe away the pain of giving up her mother. It was fresh and it burned but it wasn't as bad as it could have been; now she knew how to deal with it.
And maybe everything was for the best. Maybe it was going the way it was supposed to go. What was it that Logan's grandmother had said? "The universe is right on schedule."
She chuckled slightly and he responded by pulling her in even closer, wrapping her even tighter in himself.
Or maybe, maybe it's just what we make of it. Maybe it's all a matter of seeing things with the right perspective.
She drifted off sometime soon after, and for once her slumber was devoid of nightmares.
FIN
*******
Post.Script: Rah, 'tis the end. I'm thinking I should have the first chapter of 'The Road to Deleana' up fairly quickly...the shiptastic-ness still needs an outline, though (right now I only have the basic plot in mind), so that'll take a little longer in coming but I'm finally out of school so until I find a job I'll have a hell of a lot more time to write for you guys, heh. But um...on that front I have to warn that after two years of mulling over an original idea I had, I've finally gotten the will and the courage to start on it (partly in thanks to you people, I'll admit it :)), and that is gonna receive top priority, because while fanfic can only be displayed, this story can actually be published and I DO want to be a writer. So um...yeeeeeeeeeeah. Who knows, though? This place DOES have an originals section... *thoughtful stroking of chin*
But thanks a lot you guys, especially to you who kept up with it the whole way through. I know it's been said(*sings* many times, many ways, Merry Chri...oh, right), but hey, you guys keep me going. :)
