Ultimate Three Kingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth

Chapter III

"So now… let's brainstorm… shall we?" Adrasteia said, while giving a not-so-innocent smile.

"Fine, but no yaoi allowed," Lu Bu said in a bored voice- as if he was too good for this discussion.

Zhou Yu's right eyebrow twitched while he crossed his arms and leaned into a wall. "How about just eliminate hentai altogether?"

The girl's eyes watered- like some sort of exaggeration of those chibi forms in anime. "Zhou Yu-sama, do you not realize that your decision will impact the glory of our future?"

Gong Jin looked at her like she was some sort of alien specimen. "- glory of our future? What the heck do you mea-"

"In the old days, all the three kingdoms fans were geezers," Adrasteia clarified slowly, as if talking to a child that didn't understand the obvious. "But now, who are your fans? The video gamers of course. Whether it be for the Dynasty Warriors series, or be for the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series- they're still all video gamers. And who are video gamers? The younger generation. And what does the younger generation like? Anime is on the top of the list. And what do anime fans like? They like superb detailed animation. And which shows have superb extremely fantastically detailed animation **cough** and sound? What else but… hentai?"

Zhou Yu shuddered violently even though the room temperature was at 20 degrees Celsius.

"Not to mention that you and Sun Ce would make a great cou-"

"STOP!!!" Sima Yi yelled. "Don't dare try to pair up any two people from RTK, you hear me!?"

Adrasteia grinned mischievously. "In that case, how about Zhou Yu and m-"

Zhou Yu flashed from one corner of the room (which was the farthest from Adrasteia) to the opposite corner in a fourth of a second and clamped her jaw shut with his hand.

"Have you realized that we're in a conference room where are all top guys in RTK are present?!" he scolded her angrily- but kept his voice to a whisper.

The girl smiled again- yep, she knew.

Zhou Yu sighed and stepped back. He knew that he couldn't do anything. It's just like how people surrender to death and stop struggling because there is nothing to be done. It's just the same exact situation here. Adrasteia. Roman nemesis. Who knew that this modern version of the goddess of revenge is one helluva yaoi freak that had an obsession with suave guys? He sighed once more then flicked back some of the long dark red hair that was falling into his face.

Lu Bu snorted as he saw Zhou Yu do this. Gong Jin could have sworn that Lu Bu muttered "pretty boy" disapprovingly under his breath.

Yu's amber eyes flashed red in anger. "What? Do you have a problem with that?" then walked towards Lu Bu, eyeing him in an intimidating way.

Lu Bu stood up, and mockingly bowed down in apology. "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. Did I hurt your feelings?"

Zhou Yu's irises- if possible- flashed an even brighter red. A flash of silver- then before anybody realized it; Zhou Yu was attacking a Lu Bu in battle mode with his katana and Lu Bu with his own weapon.

After several exchanges, surprisingly- Zhou Yu's superior demonic speed seemed to make up for his mediocre attack power. None of them managed to even slightly cut the other, all attacks met with counter-attacks and a thrust was met with a counter-thrust. All strings of combo attacks had been interrupted immediately, and all musous didn't work affectively.

Everyone stared at this intense battle in awe and bets were exchanged. Surprisingly, after several minutes, Lu Bu still didn't manage to scratch Zhou Yu and vice versa even though the majority expected for Zhou Yu to have fallen a long time ago.

An hour passed, and while Adrasteia was still happily videotaping the whole thing, both Zhou Yu and Lu Bu attacked each other repeatedly to no avail. They both collapsed to the floor in exhaustion.

"Wai monsieur, are you ok?"

Zhou Yu raised his head slightly off the floor, then one of his eyes opened and saw the blinking red light of a digital camera.

Adrasteia gave him a big smile and suggested "And now… why don't you nudge a little closer to Lu Bu and snuggle-"

Zhou Yu sighed once more and let his eyes close and head fall, resting just for a while.

Just for a little while.

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Note from author: 11:00 something PM… almost midnight… but still pretty early so this ficcy wasn't as crazy as the last two. But still as pointless though ^_^ I have no idea where this little pointless ficcies are going so any and all suggestions are welcome because I have zero plot for the whole story.