Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth
Chapter V
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Note from author: This takes place at the same time as chapter 4, but of course- it's told in Lu Xun's point of view.
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Click, click, click.
Several more clicks and a couple of taps on the keyboard. A long list popped up on the monitor with the heading of "Adrasteia" on top, along with an IP address.
Two dark eyebrows drew together into a frown. His brown pupils weren't shown clearly since he was wearing square glasses- which threw back the white-blue lights of the computer monitor.
He took off his glasses, gulped down a pill of Tylenol, and massaged his aching head. Sigh. So much crap… so much crap…
Lu Xun's right hand reached for the mouse again, and scrolled down the very long list. All showed the websites that she has visited lately. Ha, she always forgot to delete her history folder… or maybe she's just too lazy. Bah, doesn't matter.
He kept on scrolling down but didn't actually click any links. Before, he used to check out every single page that she went to- but then stopped for two main reasons. Well, first one: too many links- seriously, this girl has no life besides the net. Second: Content. He clicked a seemingly harmless link once… the description said that it was just DW3 fanart… Indeed it was fanart- but he immediately closed the browser window in frantic panic when he saw a huge picture of him and Gan Ning kissing. Lu Xun shuddered remembering this. Gan Ning… of all people- why him? Didn't these fans already realize that he had been married to Sun Ce's daughter?!?! The Lu Xun x Gan Ning pairing seemed to be the most popular. Wonder why. They always portrayed Lu Xun to be extremely girlish. Fine, he's not macho like Lu Bu but he ain't that girlish. But Gan Ning? Thankfully, even though they made him less masculine than he really is in real life and such- he still looked pretty handsome…
Lu Xun blushed and forced himself to stop daydreaming. Fanart and fanfiction pairings are just the perverted imaginations of fans… nothing more… nothing less… Of course they didn't base it on any historical facts, right? Would they even bother researching about everyone and pair up people with the most compatible personalities? Or do they check the horoscopes? Or had rumours back then got revived into this day and age? Has our secrets from back then leaked out then passed on to generation to generation? Did they know his odd fantasies about Gan Ning?
He refilled his glass, gulped down 3 pills of Tylenol and ruffled his hair in frustration. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate…
He squinted at the list of URLs in Adrasteia's computer and looked for anything unusual. Nothing. So he closed her Internet Explorer and looked at the activities of her other programs. Photoshop… AOL Instant Messenger… ah, the usual programs…
Wait.
Lu Xun widened his eyes in surprise and a bit of split-second fear. What?!? She's using the same hacking program as I am using now!! He scanned through the list of IPs that she had been hacking in. Whew. His wasn't on there.
But Koei's was.
Click. Click. Click.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Damnit, she downloaded the DW3 character designs. Every single one of them. And lucky for her, she got the good files- the ones that can show every single character design in every single specific angle and position. So what is she going to do with them? Stare at Zhou Yu's and rotate it every minute? Of course not, she downloaded everyone's. Including Dong Zhuo's- so that had to say something. She must be up to something.
The most obvious point popped up into his head. Adrasteia = pervert = yaoi + threekingdoms character designs = DW3 yaoi.
Instant clips of images flashed through his mind. Zhou Yu. Zhang He. Sima Yi. Zhuge Liang. Lu Xun. Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
HELL NO!!! He was definitely not going to take the chance of that happening!! Of course not!!! He will stop any mischief immediately, no matter what!! So what is he going to do? Fly to Canada to stop that damned girl personally? Well? What else could he do?
He immediately typed in the URL of an airline service and booked the earliest flight to Vancouver. So… tomorrow morning. Better start packing.
Lu Xun turned off the computer and almost left the room- but then he remembered that he had to inform Zhou Yu.
After dialing Zhou Yu's number on the videophone- he immediately saw the flashy ceiling lights of the fancy condominium. Gong Jin had put his videophone setting on automatic- it would immediately answer and the phone is on speaker on his side.
"Yes-?" Zhou Yu said in Mandarin. Gong Jin didn't look as picture-perfect like he usually was. Purple circles below his eyes, and his face a sickly all-too-pale look. His eyelids drooped with fatigue and his dark red eyes were unfocused and distracted. Nonetheless, there was a slight hint of that flashing red sharpness in his pupil- that type of dangerous sharpness that gained an equal share of respect and fear. No matter how screwed and sick Zhou Yu was, Lu Xun knew that he shouldn't dare mess with him.
"Good evening, Zhou Yu-sama," Lu Xun replied in monotone Japanese.
"Good evening to you too, Lu Xun. So any recent news?," Zhou Yu said in Mandarin again. Why the heck is is replying in Mandarin? Lu Xun had already been talking to him in Japanese for his convenience. Infact, Lu Xun had been recently doing everything for Zhou Yu's convenience. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that. That damned Zhou didn't even know that he IS Zhou Yu Gong Jin up until 4 years ago. Heck, I already knew who I was ever since day one. The first official meeting of the ex-RTK-now-reincarnated generals was held 6 years ago. Sun Quan had been so happy to see Lu Xun. Of course… and old trusted strategist… Sun Quan used to give him most of his attention and leaned on him for advice and such. But there was nothing to be really advised on anyway. Three Kingdoms. Those three kingdoms have been long gone. No more separate kingdoms- it's one communist country named China now. But they still assigned ranks for sentimentality's sake. Although… ranks for what? Ranks for a non-existent kingdom? Ranks for nothing. Nothing but memories. Oh hell, they were still ranks. Sun Quan paid attention to him and kept in touch with him the most…
Until they rediscovered Zhou Yu.
That fateful day 4 years ago. There were lots of hype for Sun Quan's long lost first advisor. So what am I now? Some assistant to this Mr. Vanity. After that… Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that…
"Hai, Zhou Yu-sama," he dully replied.
Zhou Yu made an odd face- which was almost comical. It was as if he tasted something very bitter. "Probably he's tasting the bile rising up to his mouth," Lu Xun thought, fighting hard to suppress a grin.
"Continue," Zhou Yu said- resorting back to Japanese. He gave a slight nod and in doing so, Lu Xun got a better view of his dark crimson hair. Unfortunately, his hair was perfect as usual (much to Lu Xun's disappointment- he had been looking forward to seeing Zhou Yu's "morning" hair). Heh, talk about over-gelling.
For some reason- the sight of Zhou Yu's perfect dark crimson hair triggered a flashback to the meeting earlier that afternoon. 3 bodies had been drawled over the floor during the aftermath of Adrasteia's odd mischief. Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Lu Bu. Gackt- they were forced to drag their bodies across the hallway and down the elevator. He had participated in carrying Zhuge Liang, he was pretty light though- not much trouble. It took only one other person besides him to carry Zhuge. 4 minor officers carried the fainted Zhou Yu (with a very hyper Adrasteia jumping up and down, pestering them every step of the way) while the most strongest men of the warriors carried Lu Bu. Some people took advantage of Lu Bu's heavy unconscious state by kicking and punching him. But of course- Lu Xun wasn't one of them. Heck no he was going to take the chance of Lu Bu discovering the culprits then pounding them into a pulp. Lu Bu was… and is scary both before, and now. Even in DW3 and DW2 he's scary. Scary in the video game world, and scary in physical form. Definitely do not mess with him. Definite no no. When they finally arrived at the parking lot- they laid Zhuge Liang on the backseat of Liu Bei's Mercedes car, Zhou Yu in his fancy limousine (and told the driver to drive him back to his condominium, plus not to let Adrasteia near him on a one kilometer radius), and dumped Lu Bu in a nearby alley.
Lu Xun closed his eyes slightly to let the flashbacks pass by and to concentrate on the present.
"There had been lots of activity in Adrasteia's computer," he said slowly. "It seems that she has been hacking into the Koei headquarters and stealing everyone's character designs."
"Is mine included?" Poor guy. To be the central target of all Adrasteia's schemes. Poor guy.
"Hai," Lu Xun replied. "Infact, it was your model that was downloaded first, then the next one was Zhang He."
Zhou Yu's irises shrank in some medium form of panicky fear. "And for what purposes do you believe this will serve in…?"
"Judging from Adrasteia's moral character, probably for another fan- yaoi CG video."
Zhou Yu groaned. "Do you think we may stop her before anything deadly happens?"
"Yes. It is possible. I'm already working on it now. But it will take me 24 hours"
"Ok, arigatou Lu Xun-san. Contact me in 24 hours then."
"Fine sir." Then Lu Xun turned off the video monitor.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author: This chapter is actually shorter than what I had expected @_@ I'm too lazy to continue this chapter though. I'll stick in the remaining parts at the other chapters. Whee.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
**Update** 03/06/02: Heh, I corrected who's Lu Xun's wife was =P Yep… Sun CE's daughter… ok ok ok.. I didn't know… my bad… =P
Chapter V
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author: This takes place at the same time as chapter 4, but of course- it's told in Lu Xun's point of view.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Click, click, click.
Several more clicks and a couple of taps on the keyboard. A long list popped up on the monitor with the heading of "Adrasteia" on top, along with an IP address.
Two dark eyebrows drew together into a frown. His brown pupils weren't shown clearly since he was wearing square glasses- which threw back the white-blue lights of the computer monitor.
He took off his glasses, gulped down a pill of Tylenol, and massaged his aching head. Sigh. So much crap… so much crap…
Lu Xun's right hand reached for the mouse again, and scrolled down the very long list. All showed the websites that she has visited lately. Ha, she always forgot to delete her history folder… or maybe she's just too lazy. Bah, doesn't matter.
He kept on scrolling down but didn't actually click any links. Before, he used to check out every single page that she went to- but then stopped for two main reasons. Well, first one: too many links- seriously, this girl has no life besides the net. Second: Content. He clicked a seemingly harmless link once… the description said that it was just DW3 fanart… Indeed it was fanart- but he immediately closed the browser window in frantic panic when he saw a huge picture of him and Gan Ning kissing. Lu Xun shuddered remembering this. Gan Ning… of all people- why him? Didn't these fans already realize that he had been married to Sun Ce's daughter?!?! The Lu Xun x Gan Ning pairing seemed to be the most popular. Wonder why. They always portrayed Lu Xun to be extremely girlish. Fine, he's not macho like Lu Bu but he ain't that girlish. But Gan Ning? Thankfully, even though they made him less masculine than he really is in real life and such- he still looked pretty handsome…
Lu Xun blushed and forced himself to stop daydreaming. Fanart and fanfiction pairings are just the perverted imaginations of fans… nothing more… nothing less… Of course they didn't base it on any historical facts, right? Would they even bother researching about everyone and pair up people with the most compatible personalities? Or do they check the horoscopes? Or had rumours back then got revived into this day and age? Has our secrets from back then leaked out then passed on to generation to generation? Did they know his odd fantasies about Gan Ning?
He refilled his glass, gulped down 3 pills of Tylenol and ruffled his hair in frustration. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate…
He squinted at the list of URLs in Adrasteia's computer and looked for anything unusual. Nothing. So he closed her Internet Explorer and looked at the activities of her other programs. Photoshop… AOL Instant Messenger… ah, the usual programs…
Wait.
Lu Xun widened his eyes in surprise and a bit of split-second fear. What?!? She's using the same hacking program as I am using now!! He scanned through the list of IPs that she had been hacking in. Whew. His wasn't on there.
But Koei's was.
Click. Click. Click.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Damnit, she downloaded the DW3 character designs. Every single one of them. And lucky for her, she got the good files- the ones that can show every single character design in every single specific angle and position. So what is she going to do with them? Stare at Zhou Yu's and rotate it every minute? Of course not, she downloaded everyone's. Including Dong Zhuo's- so that had to say something. She must be up to something.
The most obvious point popped up into his head. Adrasteia = pervert = yaoi + threekingdoms character designs = DW3 yaoi.
Instant clips of images flashed through his mind. Zhou Yu. Zhang He. Sima Yi. Zhuge Liang. Lu Xun. Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.
HELL NO!!! He was definitely not going to take the chance of that happening!! Of course not!!! He will stop any mischief immediately, no matter what!! So what is he going to do? Fly to Canada to stop that damned girl personally? Well? What else could he do?
He immediately typed in the URL of an airline service and booked the earliest flight to Vancouver. So… tomorrow morning. Better start packing.
Lu Xun turned off the computer and almost left the room- but then he remembered that he had to inform Zhou Yu.
After dialing Zhou Yu's number on the videophone- he immediately saw the flashy ceiling lights of the fancy condominium. Gong Jin had put his videophone setting on automatic- it would immediately answer and the phone is on speaker on his side.
"Yes-?" Zhou Yu said in Mandarin. Gong Jin didn't look as picture-perfect like he usually was. Purple circles below his eyes, and his face a sickly all-too-pale look. His eyelids drooped with fatigue and his dark red eyes were unfocused and distracted. Nonetheless, there was a slight hint of that flashing red sharpness in his pupil- that type of dangerous sharpness that gained an equal share of respect and fear. No matter how screwed and sick Zhou Yu was, Lu Xun knew that he shouldn't dare mess with him.
"Good evening, Zhou Yu-sama," Lu Xun replied in monotone Japanese.
"Good evening to you too, Lu Xun. So any recent news?," Zhou Yu said in Mandarin again. Why the heck is is replying in Mandarin? Lu Xun had already been talking to him in Japanese for his convenience. Infact, Lu Xun had been recently doing everything for Zhou Yu's convenience. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that. That damned Zhou didn't even know that he IS Zhou Yu Gong Jin up until 4 years ago. Heck, I already knew who I was ever since day one. The first official meeting of the ex-RTK-now-reincarnated generals was held 6 years ago. Sun Quan had been so happy to see Lu Xun. Of course… and old trusted strategist… Sun Quan used to give him most of his attention and leaned on him for advice and such. But there was nothing to be really advised on anyway. Three Kingdoms. Those three kingdoms have been long gone. No more separate kingdoms- it's one communist country named China now. But they still assigned ranks for sentimentality's sake. Although… ranks for what? Ranks for a non-existent kingdom? Ranks for nothing. Nothing but memories. Oh hell, they were still ranks. Sun Quan paid attention to him and kept in touch with him the most…
Until they rediscovered Zhou Yu.
That fateful day 4 years ago. There were lots of hype for Sun Quan's long lost first advisor. So what am I now? Some assistant to this Mr. Vanity. After that… Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that…
"Hai, Zhou Yu-sama," he dully replied.
Zhou Yu made an odd face- which was almost comical. It was as if he tasted something very bitter. "Probably he's tasting the bile rising up to his mouth," Lu Xun thought, fighting hard to suppress a grin.
"Continue," Zhou Yu said- resorting back to Japanese. He gave a slight nod and in doing so, Lu Xun got a better view of his dark crimson hair. Unfortunately, his hair was perfect as usual (much to Lu Xun's disappointment- he had been looking forward to seeing Zhou Yu's "morning" hair). Heh, talk about over-gelling.
For some reason- the sight of Zhou Yu's perfect dark crimson hair triggered a flashback to the meeting earlier that afternoon. 3 bodies had been drawled over the floor during the aftermath of Adrasteia's odd mischief. Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Lu Bu. Gackt- they were forced to drag their bodies across the hallway and down the elevator. He had participated in carrying Zhuge Liang, he was pretty light though- not much trouble. It took only one other person besides him to carry Zhuge. 4 minor officers carried the fainted Zhou Yu (with a very hyper Adrasteia jumping up and down, pestering them every step of the way) while the most strongest men of the warriors carried Lu Bu. Some people took advantage of Lu Bu's heavy unconscious state by kicking and punching him. But of course- Lu Xun wasn't one of them. Heck no he was going to take the chance of Lu Bu discovering the culprits then pounding them into a pulp. Lu Bu was… and is scary both before, and now. Even in DW3 and DW2 he's scary. Scary in the video game world, and scary in physical form. Definitely do not mess with him. Definite no no. When they finally arrived at the parking lot- they laid Zhuge Liang on the backseat of Liu Bei's Mercedes car, Zhou Yu in his fancy limousine (and told the driver to drive him back to his condominium, plus not to let Adrasteia near him on a one kilometer radius), and dumped Lu Bu in a nearby alley.
Lu Xun closed his eyes slightly to let the flashbacks pass by and to concentrate on the present.
"There had been lots of activity in Adrasteia's computer," he said slowly. "It seems that she has been hacking into the Koei headquarters and stealing everyone's character designs."
"Is mine included?" Poor guy. To be the central target of all Adrasteia's schemes. Poor guy.
"Hai," Lu Xun replied. "Infact, it was your model that was downloaded first, then the next one was Zhang He."
Zhou Yu's irises shrank in some medium form of panicky fear. "And for what purposes do you believe this will serve in…?"
"Judging from Adrasteia's moral character, probably for another fan- yaoi CG video."
Zhou Yu groaned. "Do you think we may stop her before anything deadly happens?"
"Yes. It is possible. I'm already working on it now. But it will take me 24 hours"
"Ok, arigatou Lu Xun-san. Contact me in 24 hours then."
"Fine sir." Then Lu Xun turned off the video monitor.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author: This chapter is actually shorter than what I had expected @_@ I'm too lazy to continue this chapter though. I'll stick in the remaining parts at the other chapters. Whee.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
**Update** 03/06/02: Heh, I corrected who's Lu Xun's wife was =P Yep… Sun CE's daughter… ok ok ok.. I didn't know… my bad… =P
