Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth
Chapter VII
"A-Adrasteia!! What the hell did you do with my door?!?!"
"Gong Jin!! What the hell did you do to the golf club?!?!"
The former gave a long, tired exhausted sigh and dropped his end of the broken golf club. He gave up. No matter how many security procedures they had to go through- the gal always ended up annoying him in the end anyways. Zhou Yu fell on the couch with the impression that his body was made out of lead. Especially his eyelids.
Adrasteia also gave her version of a sigh- although he didn't see what she really has gotten all upset about. Jesus, it was just a golf club. Golf- a very pointless game. They hit a ball with a metal stick so that it would go into a hole. It was just a stick, really. A very expensive stick but still a stick nonetheless. But what she broke was his god forsaken door damnit!! The door- the key thing to privacy, security, and all those other crap. Of course, anything hurled at Adrasteia was doomed to be ineffective but he now had a huge hole in the wall where anyone can just bust in.
"But look what you did to my door!! Multitudes of fans and insane people will swarm in!!"
The girl snorted. "As if anyone else is as fanatic enough to track you down all the time. You keep a very low profile and move around a lot these days."
Zhou Yu sighed once more. She clearly wasn't getting the point.
"See, but look what you have done to the golf club!" she wailed again. "You'll pay for this!!"
"You'll pay for my door too. Ha, what should I do now? It is as if there is this neon billboard flashing the message 'Open house! Feel free to come in and rob!'"
Adrasteia rolled her eyes. "Despite how cool and handsome you are- you have a deteriorating memory now, ne?"
He couldn't decide whether to be flattered or to be afraid by the first two comments. And how dare she be so disrespectful to her idol? Obsessive fans were supposed to think that their idols are perfect! Gong Jin started ignoring several more useless questions floating around his head about her puzzling nature and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The girl rolled her eyes again. "Remember 3 months ago that you had gotten a 10-cm thick metal door installed? Remember? It slides up and down, remote control operated? Remember?? It was meant to keep me away and it was considered to be one of those secret new installations? Remember?!?"
Zhou Yu pondered for a moment then finally remembered it. Lu Xun actually suggested it at first. But he never used it since it was quite unneeded and some specific claustrophobic guests wouldn't be too happy with the new display addition. Plus, he never told anyone about it… but then, how did Adrasteia know of it's existence…?
He first narrowed his eyes and stared at her suspiciously, then in slight anger "You had been breaking into the security files again!"
Adrasteia's hands made a waving off motion. "Yea yea yea… of course… I would do anything to be with my Zhou Yu!!" and gave a big wide smile- which teetered on the verge of sanity.
Zhou Yu shuddered involuntarily then got up from the couch. His head felt heavy. Too many problems to be dealt with, too much burden. Why wouldn't this ever end..?
His bare feet took him to the end of the kitchen, then he opened a specific drawer, and took out the remote control for the sliding metal door. He turned around and walked back to the door. While observing the aftermath, he noted that the frame of the door was still intact- although the whole wall was cracked and a bit of light from the other side streamed in like some sort of tiny parody gateway to heaven. He sighed and pressed a button on the remote control. The thick heavy metal door slowly descended down- landing down with a startling boom. He feared that the neighbours downstairs might leave messages on his answering machine again- he had received floods of complaints already. Nah, screw them. This is an emergency situation anyway. They don't have a psychopathic Canadian teenager dragging him off to be the unwilling star of several male x male porno movies. Gong Jin and looked up to observe the full length of the metal door. It had done the trick- covered that big ex-door hole in the wall. Although, it looked like it was a door for a prison cell once- he didn't feel comfortable with that considering his current situation.
Zhou Yu glanced at the smirking girl that would be playing the role of the prison guard if the odd simulation were actually taking place.
"See? I was right!" the girl squealed. A new and far more affective door, ne? You didn't know that at first now, did ya? I saved your livelihood! Don't you think I deserve a hug?" Adrasteia gave one of her insane big smiles once again and stretched out her arms towards him.
Zhou Yu looked at her oddly. "How about… no?"
The girl gave a disappointed face but it seemed like she was expecting it anyways. Her face lit up again and gave the traditional fangirl squeal. "I can't believe I'm in Zhou Yu's condominium!!" She shuffled over to the kitchen refrigerator (while snatching several things along the way- like the double-A batteries lying around on the table).
Zhou Yu flung himself back on the couch again. He dozed off for a moment before he heard Adrasteia's dangerously loud slamming of the refrigerator door. He groaned as he saw her place several slices of those ready-made pizzas on a plate- which she put in a microwave and set it on for five minutes. She spun around and gave him that insanely wide smile again. Then, she shuffled over to the direction of his room.
Gong Jin's weary eyes closed for a while until he heard the loud beep of the microwave. A very excited Adrasteia rushed over to the kitchen again (with things that appeared to be his clothes in her hands) and took out her pizza.
Zhou Yu got up again very slowly- his head still throbbed ever since yesterday. He massaged his head for a moment and squinted at the odd girl.
"Hey, you're not going to auction off my clothes again on Ebay now, are you?"
The girl (while chewing on a slice of pizza) replied "I'm not exactly selling them… it's more like donating them."
Gong Jin snorted. "Like people would like my 'donated' boxers, eh?"
Adrasteia made the annoying waving-off motion again. "So what? Where do you think I get my money to support my frequent plane trips? Most of the yaoi movies that I direct don't sell all too well. I wonder what pairings the public wants."
Zhou Yu gave another involuntary shudder, recalling what almost happened with him and Zhang He. Damn that Adrasteia.
"-I usually sell off your shirts and jackets," the girl continued. "Some specific items are better off in the museum or in my hands."
Zhou Yu shuddered once more. Shuddering too much is not healthy. Definitely.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Boredom.
Lu Xun yawned and stretched out his legs. Urgh. One more hour to go. He glanced around the waiting room once more and noted that several more people streamed in during his last nap. The room was now about three- quarters full and thankfully didn't have too much noisy children. He kept on looking around in boredom until he came across a very attractive woman with long silky black hair. Lu Xun carefully noted that she was reading the last volume of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms books.
She now has to be a definite fan to get through that much he thought. Many people didn't finish the last 20 or so chapters since all of the old generals died and idiots replaced them, but she showed no sign of stopping.
He glanced at himself in the mirror the covered the full length of the four sided-column in front of him. Hmm. White-blond dyed hair. White cargo pants. Slim build. Sleeveless orange shirt that revealed that his exhausted days at the gym paid off for the muscle in his arms. His strange glasses that always glinted an eerie turquoise for some odd reason… Yep, not too bad.
He got up, walked over to the woman and sat right beside her. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence for some time so he took advantage of the opportunity to study her. Her dark seemingly black eyes scanned through the translated English words of the book at an alarming rate and the way she flipped the pages with her long delicate hands had a simple elegance to them. Her face was a pale paper-white and was shrouded in over- indifference. The lack of emotion merely intrigued Lu Xun than bored him.
He laid his fingers on her shoulder, hoping to get her attention. It worked. She looked at him with her dark sharp eyes that seemed to have this quick equally sharp intelligence behind it.
He gave her his most charming smile and whispered in his unaccented English, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"Yes," she replied, but the sharpness in her eyes dulled a bit into something similar to disinterest.
"Do you believe that you're looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?" he smiled- although he couldn't help looking a bit mischievous. "Do you believe that you are looking at Lu Xun right now?" The name 'Lu Xun' gave this odd chilling ring- it always happened whenever someone spoke the name of his or her previous life for some reason or another. It was the universal ring that everyone knew and understood. The ring of truth.
She looked at him and her expression did not change. "So Lu Xun, do you believe that you are looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?"
His eyes widened. "B-but… all the generals back then were males! Women were not officially allowed!! And you're… you're female!"
The woman smiled- but it was not a warm smile, it was a more mocking one. Then she whispered in his ear, "Female in this lifetime."
"T-that's imp-possible!" he stuttered in denial. "We're all the same gender as we were before."
Her smile grew wider and more mocking. "Well, I am living proof that it is not a fact."
"S-so… who were you back then?"
"Guo Jia."
The name also gave the eerie ring, which confirmed Lu Xun's worst fears. Lu Xun shuddered. But it isn't his fault. Guo Jia was stuck in a hot girl's body, how was he supposed to know?
"So I assume that you're not going to ask me out anymore, hmm?" she (or he) said while smirking.
Oh gawd, hell no.
"Well," she reached out her right hand to clasp the stunned man's and gave a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you. I had heard much about you but never had the opportunity to meet you."
"G-guo Jia…"
"Still can't get over that fact now, can you? I believe that you must think twice before trying to get laid."
He pondered over the disturbing event then said "So… are you looking for Cao Cao now?"
"Yes," she said, with the indifference in her tone settling back.
"You know," Lu Xun smirked, "Cao Cao's ex-wives and ex-concubines doesn't want to get back with him again in this lifetime. So he is single right now."
Her eyes widened. "Really?"
Lu Xun tried hard to suppress his laugh. Apparently, Guo Jia did not get the point that he made.
She read for a few more minutes and asked silently, "Where is he now?"
Lu Xun raised an eyebrow. "In Paris I believe."
"Where does he live?"
"I'm afraid that I cannot disclose that information to outsiders of the RTK corporation ma'am," and put much emphasis on the last word.
She sighed and said, "Fine, can you please give him my cellphone number?" and gave him a card with all sorts of contact information on it.
Lu Xun took it. "Sure thing," he yawned.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author: Whee… 2:30 in the morning right now… fun fun fun middle- of-the night ficcies, ne? ^_~ Yes, Guo Jia is female. Surprise surprise surprise! Sorry, I just couldn't help not playing with that idea . Hope no one gets offended . Feel to email me at adrasteia_rebirth@hotmail.com for criticisms, flames, praises (**wink** **wink**) etc. I need to know what you people think about my ficcies in detail =P
Chapter VII
"A-Adrasteia!! What the hell did you do with my door?!?!"
"Gong Jin!! What the hell did you do to the golf club?!?!"
The former gave a long, tired exhausted sigh and dropped his end of the broken golf club. He gave up. No matter how many security procedures they had to go through- the gal always ended up annoying him in the end anyways. Zhou Yu fell on the couch with the impression that his body was made out of lead. Especially his eyelids.
Adrasteia also gave her version of a sigh- although he didn't see what she really has gotten all upset about. Jesus, it was just a golf club. Golf- a very pointless game. They hit a ball with a metal stick so that it would go into a hole. It was just a stick, really. A very expensive stick but still a stick nonetheless. But what she broke was his god forsaken door damnit!! The door- the key thing to privacy, security, and all those other crap. Of course, anything hurled at Adrasteia was doomed to be ineffective but he now had a huge hole in the wall where anyone can just bust in.
"But look what you did to my door!! Multitudes of fans and insane people will swarm in!!"
The girl snorted. "As if anyone else is as fanatic enough to track you down all the time. You keep a very low profile and move around a lot these days."
Zhou Yu sighed once more. She clearly wasn't getting the point.
"See, but look what you have done to the golf club!" she wailed again. "You'll pay for this!!"
"You'll pay for my door too. Ha, what should I do now? It is as if there is this neon billboard flashing the message 'Open house! Feel free to come in and rob!'"
Adrasteia rolled her eyes. "Despite how cool and handsome you are- you have a deteriorating memory now, ne?"
He couldn't decide whether to be flattered or to be afraid by the first two comments. And how dare she be so disrespectful to her idol? Obsessive fans were supposed to think that their idols are perfect! Gong Jin started ignoring several more useless questions floating around his head about her puzzling nature and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The girl rolled her eyes again. "Remember 3 months ago that you had gotten a 10-cm thick metal door installed? Remember? It slides up and down, remote control operated? Remember?? It was meant to keep me away and it was considered to be one of those secret new installations? Remember?!?"
Zhou Yu pondered for a moment then finally remembered it. Lu Xun actually suggested it at first. But he never used it since it was quite unneeded and some specific claustrophobic guests wouldn't be too happy with the new display addition. Plus, he never told anyone about it… but then, how did Adrasteia know of it's existence…?
He first narrowed his eyes and stared at her suspiciously, then in slight anger "You had been breaking into the security files again!"
Adrasteia's hands made a waving off motion. "Yea yea yea… of course… I would do anything to be with my Zhou Yu!!" and gave a big wide smile- which teetered on the verge of sanity.
Zhou Yu shuddered involuntarily then got up from the couch. His head felt heavy. Too many problems to be dealt with, too much burden. Why wouldn't this ever end..?
His bare feet took him to the end of the kitchen, then he opened a specific drawer, and took out the remote control for the sliding metal door. He turned around and walked back to the door. While observing the aftermath, he noted that the frame of the door was still intact- although the whole wall was cracked and a bit of light from the other side streamed in like some sort of tiny parody gateway to heaven. He sighed and pressed a button on the remote control. The thick heavy metal door slowly descended down- landing down with a startling boom. He feared that the neighbours downstairs might leave messages on his answering machine again- he had received floods of complaints already. Nah, screw them. This is an emergency situation anyway. They don't have a psychopathic Canadian teenager dragging him off to be the unwilling star of several male x male porno movies. Gong Jin and looked up to observe the full length of the metal door. It had done the trick- covered that big ex-door hole in the wall. Although, it looked like it was a door for a prison cell once- he didn't feel comfortable with that considering his current situation.
Zhou Yu glanced at the smirking girl that would be playing the role of the prison guard if the odd simulation were actually taking place.
"See? I was right!" the girl squealed. A new and far more affective door, ne? You didn't know that at first now, did ya? I saved your livelihood! Don't you think I deserve a hug?" Adrasteia gave one of her insane big smiles once again and stretched out her arms towards him.
Zhou Yu looked at her oddly. "How about… no?"
The girl gave a disappointed face but it seemed like she was expecting it anyways. Her face lit up again and gave the traditional fangirl squeal. "I can't believe I'm in Zhou Yu's condominium!!" She shuffled over to the kitchen refrigerator (while snatching several things along the way- like the double-A batteries lying around on the table).
Zhou Yu flung himself back on the couch again. He dozed off for a moment before he heard Adrasteia's dangerously loud slamming of the refrigerator door. He groaned as he saw her place several slices of those ready-made pizzas on a plate- which she put in a microwave and set it on for five minutes. She spun around and gave him that insanely wide smile again. Then, she shuffled over to the direction of his room.
Gong Jin's weary eyes closed for a while until he heard the loud beep of the microwave. A very excited Adrasteia rushed over to the kitchen again (with things that appeared to be his clothes in her hands) and took out her pizza.
Zhou Yu got up again very slowly- his head still throbbed ever since yesterday. He massaged his head for a moment and squinted at the odd girl.
"Hey, you're not going to auction off my clothes again on Ebay now, are you?"
The girl (while chewing on a slice of pizza) replied "I'm not exactly selling them… it's more like donating them."
Gong Jin snorted. "Like people would like my 'donated' boxers, eh?"
Adrasteia made the annoying waving-off motion again. "So what? Where do you think I get my money to support my frequent plane trips? Most of the yaoi movies that I direct don't sell all too well. I wonder what pairings the public wants."
Zhou Yu gave another involuntary shudder, recalling what almost happened with him and Zhang He. Damn that Adrasteia.
"-I usually sell off your shirts and jackets," the girl continued. "Some specific items are better off in the museum or in my hands."
Zhou Yu shuddered once more. Shuddering too much is not healthy. Definitely.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Boredom.
Lu Xun yawned and stretched out his legs. Urgh. One more hour to go. He glanced around the waiting room once more and noted that several more people streamed in during his last nap. The room was now about three- quarters full and thankfully didn't have too much noisy children. He kept on looking around in boredom until he came across a very attractive woman with long silky black hair. Lu Xun carefully noted that she was reading the last volume of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms books.
She now has to be a definite fan to get through that much he thought. Many people didn't finish the last 20 or so chapters since all of the old generals died and idiots replaced them, but she showed no sign of stopping.
He glanced at himself in the mirror the covered the full length of the four sided-column in front of him. Hmm. White-blond dyed hair. White cargo pants. Slim build. Sleeveless orange shirt that revealed that his exhausted days at the gym paid off for the muscle in his arms. His strange glasses that always glinted an eerie turquoise for some odd reason… Yep, not too bad.
He got up, walked over to the woman and sat right beside her. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence for some time so he took advantage of the opportunity to study her. Her dark seemingly black eyes scanned through the translated English words of the book at an alarming rate and the way she flipped the pages with her long delicate hands had a simple elegance to them. Her face was a pale paper-white and was shrouded in over- indifference. The lack of emotion merely intrigued Lu Xun than bored him.
He laid his fingers on her shoulder, hoping to get her attention. It worked. She looked at him with her dark sharp eyes that seemed to have this quick equally sharp intelligence behind it.
He gave her his most charming smile and whispered in his unaccented English, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"Yes," she replied, but the sharpness in her eyes dulled a bit into something similar to disinterest.
"Do you believe that you're looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?" he smiled- although he couldn't help looking a bit mischievous. "Do you believe that you are looking at Lu Xun right now?" The name 'Lu Xun' gave this odd chilling ring- it always happened whenever someone spoke the name of his or her previous life for some reason or another. It was the universal ring that everyone knew and understood. The ring of truth.
She looked at him and her expression did not change. "So Lu Xun, do you believe that you are looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?"
His eyes widened. "B-but… all the generals back then were males! Women were not officially allowed!! And you're… you're female!"
The woman smiled- but it was not a warm smile, it was a more mocking one. Then she whispered in his ear, "Female in this lifetime."
"T-that's imp-possible!" he stuttered in denial. "We're all the same gender as we were before."
Her smile grew wider and more mocking. "Well, I am living proof that it is not a fact."
"S-so… who were you back then?"
"Guo Jia."
The name also gave the eerie ring, which confirmed Lu Xun's worst fears. Lu Xun shuddered. But it isn't his fault. Guo Jia was stuck in a hot girl's body, how was he supposed to know?
"So I assume that you're not going to ask me out anymore, hmm?" she (or he) said while smirking.
Oh gawd, hell no.
"Well," she reached out her right hand to clasp the stunned man's and gave a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you. I had heard much about you but never had the opportunity to meet you."
"G-guo Jia…"
"Still can't get over that fact now, can you? I believe that you must think twice before trying to get laid."
He pondered over the disturbing event then said "So… are you looking for Cao Cao now?"
"Yes," she said, with the indifference in her tone settling back.
"You know," Lu Xun smirked, "Cao Cao's ex-wives and ex-concubines doesn't want to get back with him again in this lifetime. So he is single right now."
Her eyes widened. "Really?"
Lu Xun tried hard to suppress his laugh. Apparently, Guo Jia did not get the point that he made.
She read for a few more minutes and asked silently, "Where is he now?"
Lu Xun raised an eyebrow. "In Paris I believe."
"Where does he live?"
"I'm afraid that I cannot disclose that information to outsiders of the RTK corporation ma'am," and put much emphasis on the last word.
She sighed and said, "Fine, can you please give him my cellphone number?" and gave him a card with all sorts of contact information on it.
Lu Xun took it. "Sure thing," he yawned.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Note from author: Whee… 2:30 in the morning right now… fun fun fun middle- of-the night ficcies, ne? ^_~ Yes, Guo Jia is female. Surprise surprise surprise! Sorry, I just couldn't help not playing with that idea . Hope no one gets offended . Feel to email me at adrasteia_rebirth@hotmail.com for criticisms, flames, praises (**wink** **wink**) etc. I need to know what you people think about my ficcies in detail =P
