I know you're all sad about Gir's death, but it was an important plot point! Look, everything will turn out all right in the end, just keep reading, okay?

Zim marched across the room, his fists clenched at his sides. Dib was sitting behind his desk, listening to some tunes on a headset, not noticing his visitor. Zim walked right up to the desk and started pounding on the desk to get Dib's attention. Dib frowned and took off the headset. "Ah, Zim, what do you want?"

"I want answers, Dib. And I want them now."

"Answers to what, Zimmy?"

"Don't call me that. Why did you kill Gir?"

Dib shrugged. "Because I didn't need him."

"That's it? That's your justification for killing my best friend?"

"Yes."

Zim's purple blood boiled. "Dib, I want off this island."

"Sorry Zim, but there are only two ways off of this island, and neither one is open to you. There's the submarine, but the octopus will only go so far away from its home here, and besides, it will only obey me. It'll eat anyone else who tries to command it. There's also the private teleporter I use to get to the city for the weekly filming of my show, but that's only accessible by a keycard, which I haven't assigned you yet, and even so the teleporter is programmed to work only for me. Anyone else who uses it will find themselves falling into the abyss outside."

"Speaking of which, what is that abyss? Where did it come from?"

"It represents all the plot holes in the many cartoons Nick produces. As such, there is no apparent bottom. Even if there is, it's probably dark and filled with all sorts of horrendous monsters and such that would frighten even the octopus. For all I know, it could go to Hell."

"Is there any chance that my robot is still alive?"

"No." Dib said smugly, enjoying the fact that Zim was clearly very anguished over this.

"What's going on here? Why does the octopus take all those people? What's the point?"

"That's a very complicated question with a very complicated answer. Do you wish to hear it?" Zim nodded. "All right then. Right after the takeover back in 2002 and Bog selected me as his second-in-command, he found out about this island in the middle of nowhere. The coral reefs around the abyss are quite special, they glow whether it's dark or light out, and the glow never fades. They're perfect for light bulbs. Bog saw this place as both a good side business and as a prison."

"A prison?"

"I'm getting to that. He put me in charge of this place, buying it from the original owners for quite a sum. I spent my time here on the weekends, renovating the place and making it my own. Then I captured the octopus and trained it to operate the submarine and capture people."

"Why?"

"Why, for workers Zim. How else am I supposed to get miners for the coral here?"

"You could have hired workers!"

"Yeah, but we want to save the budget for things that count, such as the padded chair I'm sitting in right now."

"But where exactly did you plant the octopus?"

"Oh come on Zim, you know the answer to that. After all, you hitched a ride here, didn't you?"

"How did you know that?"

"I have hidden cameras all over this island and on the submarine. I knew you were there when you snuck onto the sub. Like I was saying, the obvious perfect spot to lie in wait for workers was the Pearl. Since people jumped off ships all the time to dive for it, all we had to do was wait for divers to come down and grab them, then put them to work in the mines."

"But that's against all the labor laws!"

"Your point? Of course, there was one problem with that line of thought."

"What?"

"One of the reasons the octopus obeys me is because I keep it fed. Whenever a miner has been here for one year, the big slug gets to eat him or her."

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah, I know, the octopus eats too much! And that meant I had to keep replacing workers more often than I would like, and it didn't help that ships tended to stay away from the Pearl. So that's when Bog got this brilliant idea that ties into all the tickets we're stealing from all the premium clients. As I'm sure you know, we rigged your computer and that of almost everybody else's so any client you received would appear to be a loser not worthy of a Mega Rail ticket."

"I knew about that, but I thought it was only my computer."

"Nope, everybody else was having just as much trouble as you. I was the only one who knew I was getting premium clients, and I made you all feel like dorks by extravagantly flaunting my success."

"But why didn't any of the others complain about it or tell other people how poorly they were doing?"

"Did you tell your coworkers how bad your luck was?"

"Good point. But what are you doing with all the tickets? And what does this have to do with the mining?"

"Bog trusts me to keep all the tickets we steal here, in a special vault down the hall from Rana's office. I hold onto them until he needs to sell some of them to keep making money, and I receive more tickets from more clients we scam. As for the miners…" He grinned evilly. "None of my clients ever knew they were supposed to get a Mega Rail ticket to begin with. I tricked them and sent them on their way, to walk through the Petrified Forest, which we've set up to be a lot worse than usual if you don't have the appropriate tools. If and when they make it to Speedo Bottom, I meet them there, tell them the company made a mistake, offer my condolences, and then inform them that I will personally take them the rest of the way. I get the client on the next ship out of town, no matter where it's going, and pay off the captain to change course to pass over the Pearl. I give the client some scuba gear, telling him or her it's customary to take a dive at this point of the ocean. The client dives and is attracted by the Pearl's siren glow, and thus go down to it. The octopus catches the client and brings him or her here, where they are immediately put to work and eventually fed to my little pet."

Zim was shocked. "And…and Rana?"

"She would have suffered the same exact fate, if you hadn't gone and royally screwed things up. Of course, your bungling merely caused me to pick her up and bring her here a little later than expected. All you really did is cause her a lot of pain and spared her from getting eaten by the octopus, leaving here to rot here as a secretary to me, and later to you."

"What makes you think I'll take over?"

"Because you don't have a choice, Zim! You're trapped on this island forever, and I'm going to get back to the city Scot-free! Then I can concentrate full time on acting for the Dib Membrane Show!"

Zim's blood was boiling, hardly believing just how evil Bog and Dib were. How could they possibly do something this sick, this depraved? "And tell me Dib, just how is your little show doing in my time slot?"

Dib frowned. "Actually, it's pretty popular with the girls who have always found me dashing and handsome. But the other fans, the old ones, the losers who loved you…well, they have openly remarked that if your show is not reinstated they will launch a strike on Nickelodeon."

"I see. And just how many fans still love me?"

Dib looked uncomfortably. "Not many, only about one billion children around the real world."

"And for you?"

"Well…only five thousand."

Zim's nonexistent eyebrows rose. "Really? Are you sure you're not exaggerating? I could have sworn you had far less fans than that, only about five hundred, all of them girls."

Dib narrowed his eyes. "Careful Zim. You're on thin ice. If you make me too angry, I may just decide to forget about making you about my replacement after all and kill you like I did your stupid junk robot." That did it. Gir may have been stupid and made of junk, but he was Zim's stupid junk robot, and he was the only one who had the right to call him that! Extending his spider legs, he aimed at Dib, preparing to annihilate his old enemy. Reaching into his utility pod, Dib quickly whipped out a Sproutella gun, aiming it at Zim's forehead. The Irken paused. "I'm sure you can vaporize me to atoms, but I doubt you can do it before I pull the trigger. So tell me, are you going to shoot me and die along with me, or are you going to be a good little boy and put those away?" Zim retracted the spider legs. Dib didn't put down the gun. "Thank you. Now please leave my office." He put away the gun and replaced the headphones, once more listening to the tune.

Zim turned, shaken, and left the office. Rana didn't look up as he walked by. Zim knew if he wanted her to trust him, he'd have to get her a gun. Then maybe he could deal with Dib. He walked back to his "office" to think for a moment. The birdies were still chipping away at the coral. He decided he needed to get out of this stuffy factory interior and headed out to the elevator/airlock. He activated his air bubble and force field, then pressed the bottom button on the control panel. The elevator descended to the place where Zim had entered in the first place. Leaving the elevator, he debated whether to go towards the coral reef or take the other path. He chose the coral reefs. Walking down the well-lit path, he found himself in the midst of a lot of glowing coral, with maybe a dozen workers chipping away at the coral with either pickaxes or what looked like drills. Since many of them weren't designed for water, they wore scuba gear. Zim looked around sadly. Dib had deprived all of these poor souls of their rightful jobs. He swore he would put things right. It was then that he noticed a familiar face down in the crowd, working on a large chunk of coral. It was Chepito! He was holding one of the big drills, which seemed to be overpowering him. Zim ran over, pleased to see the grouper. As he approached, he could hear the fish's grumbling and cursing as he struggled to control his tool. Zim got his attention. "Hey, Chepito."

"What? Oh, it's YOU!" said the grouper angrily, turning off his drill. "Look at my eyebrows!" he snarled.

"Well, you really weren't standing in a safe place." Offered Zim weakly.

"Neither are you." Said Chepito, raising his drill.

"Say, nice drill." Said Zim quickly, not wanting to get on the business end of the tool.

His diversion worked. Chepito laughed. "Drill? This here ain't no drill! It's a high-powered reciprocating chisel! A Bust-All! They don't usually give these to the new guys."

"Then how'd you get it?"

"I'm connected, plugged in to the community out here. Trade's the name of the game here on the big reef. I got this baby by trading away a bunch of booty."

"What kind of booty?"

"Gold, son! And jewels! Just lying around the bottom of the ocean, waiting for somebody to pick it up! And all you people on the surface never even looked for it."

"Give me some booty and I'll buy our way out of here."

"Sorry, I traded it all away for the chisel."

"You gave away gold for a power tool?" Zim asked incredulous.

"It's a Bust-All!" He said defensively.

"It looks to me like it's a little too powerful for you."

"Is not!"

"If you say so. Hey, do you think you could set me up with this trading network of yours?"

"Depends on what you want and what I've got. So, what do you want?"

"A drink."

"Heh, we're swimming in the biggest drink there is, boy! What do you need a drink for?"

"I was talking about alcohol."

"I know. Anything else?"

"How about a hug?"

"What?"

"Sorry, just kidding. How about a towel?"

Chepito laughed. "You a funny Irken!"

"Well, I am loved by over a billion. Seriously now, what about a boat?"

"Sorry, don't have one."

"How about a gun?"

"No, but that kitty over there does." Chepito said, pointing to a cat that was also cursing and grumbling, except she had a pickaxe instead of a Bust- All. "If you give her something she wants, she might give you a gun. Now, is there anything else you might want?"

Zim looked at the ground. "My buddy Gir to still be alive."

"Why, what happened to him?"

"He went over the edge."

"Ooh, stay away from the edge! It's dangerous! I've seen whole ships go over in my day, their engines in full reverse, trying to drop anchor, but the current was too strong. All of them went over…" He paused thinking. "Well, except maybe that one ship."

"What one ship?"

"I hear tell around here about a ship that's only half over the falls, one that actually managed to drop anchor before it went over the edge. The anchor dug in, but the ship still went down, dangling down the cliff, its crew falling to their doom. The anchor is planted near this conveyor belt on the other side of the island. If you're looking for a boat, you might be able to use that…if'n you had a superb engineer and some way of dredging her up."

Zim was interested. "Well, how would you go about doing it?"

"Well, it's like this: we chip off the coral here with our tools, then take it around the island to this conveyor belt that goes both to the surface and to the edge. There's this huge crane that goes around a hemispherical track on the island proper that picks up the coral bits in the scoop as they go down the conveyor belt, then takes them to the other side of the island and dumps them into these big coral crushing wheels. If you could get to the crane, you might be able to grab the ship by the anchor and pull her up, Lord knows the crane is definitely strong enough for the job."

"How would I get to the crane?"

"There are two possible ways to get to the crane's track: either reverse the flow of the conveyor belt to take you up to the crane track, or somehow obtain a keycard that lets you access the beach where the coral crushers are. Since the crane is always docked by the crushers when it's not time to dump our workload, I would suggest your best bet is the beach. Of course, you'd still need a keycard, and a certified mechanic."

"I think I can get the keycard. As for the engineer…we'll see. Chepito, would you happen to know what button on the elevator will take me to the beach?"

"I believe it's the fourth button from the bottom."

"Thanks. Hey, how do you know all this stuff anyway?"

"As I said, I'm connected, plugged in. A few of these workers have been here longer than others, and they're the ones that take the crushed coral up to the machines that hammer em' into light bulb sized pieces. They're the ones that told me. But don't bother asking for one of their cards, they'll never give it to you."

"You've learned all of this stuff in only, what, an hour or two?"

"As I said, I'm…"

"Connected, plugged in, I know. I still need a gun, though." He looked at the cat, thinking. "She seems dissatisfied with her current tool. Hey Chepito, can I have your Bust-All so I can trade it to her for a gun?"

Chepito held the chisel very close to him. "No way! I spent too much money on this thing! If you want it, you've gotta give me something better."

Zim took out the little hammer Pugsy had thrown at him. "Hey Chepito, have you ever seen an authentic Little Chipper?"

"No, I haven't."

"Give me the Bust-All and I'll give you the Little Chipper. I think it's more to your pace than the chisel."

Chepito handed over the chisel and took the hammer. He tested it out on the coral. "Hey, I think you're right! This thing is more suited for me. Little Chipper, I think we're gonna work together just fine." He eagerly started slowly chipping away at the coral.

"Thanks for the chisel."

"No thanks are necessary, boy, just give me a berth on that boat if'n you manage to drag her up."

"I will, I will." Zim walked over to the cat. "Excuse me, miss…"

The feline turned around, her fangs showing through her air helmet. "Look, I'm working as fast as I can, and I am not happy with the tool I have been provided. Either get me a new tool, better suited for my reflexes, or get lost."

"Would a Bust-All work?" he asked, holding out the chisel.

"Hey, thanks-" she said, reaching for the power tool.

Zim pulled it away. "How about a trade? You give me your Sproutella gun, I give you your power tool."

The feline thought a moment. "Well, I guess that seems fair. Here you go." She said, handing Zim a gun.

He gave her the power tool. "Thanks. Hey, is it loaded?"

"No." she said. Zim frowned at her. "Hey, bullets are impossible to get out here! If we had bullets, don't you think we would have led a successful uprising by now?"

"Good point. Have fun with the Bust-All."

"Oh, I plan to." She said, drilling into the rock with her chisel.

Putting the gun into his pod, Zim headed for the elevator.

Zim handed the gun to Rana. "Here-what good's a relationship without trust?"

She took it. "True, a relationship without trust is about as empty…" She pulled a Sproutella bullet from behind the collar of her uniform, loaded it into the gun, stood up, and pointed the gun at Zim's head. "…As a gun without bullets! Guess you didn't know that a smart girl always keeps an extra round in her uniform for mad days. Come on, let's go." She said, pointing to the door to Dib's office.

"Rana, you don't know what you're-"

"I know exactly what I'm doing! Now move!" Leading him at gunpoint, they entered Dib's office.

Dib turned around, taking off his headphones as they entered. He noticed Rana with the gun. Zim was protesting, saying, "Look, will you just listen to my escape plan first?"

Dib got out of his seat as they approached the desk. "Trouble in paradise, kids?"

Rana waved the gun, still aiming at Zim. "You're letting us go right now or your boy Friday here gets it!"

Dib sighed and got out of his desk, approaching them. "Well I hate to lose you Zim, but uh…the lady seems to have made up her mind."

Rana was a little puzzled. "I'm serious, I'll shoot him."

Dib shrugged. "Fine! He doesn't really work for me, anyway."

Rana blinked, confused, yet suddenly realizing she had been lied to. "But I thought he-I'll shoot you then!" She said, pointing the gun at the human's chest.

A spider leg snaked out from Dib's pod, knocking the gun from Rana's hands and into Dib's. As he stuffed it into the pod, Dib immediately grabbed her and turned her around, holding her in place. "No, you won't. You're too good, remember?" He started leading her from the room, into her office. Zim tried to follow, but Dib kicked shut the door to his office, slamming it in Zim's face. Although he could not follow, he could hear Rana protesting.

"I'm not! I'm not good anymore! You've taken that out of me, keeping me a prisoner here! I'm gonna crack you open like a fake Ming vase! I'm gonna-" There was a loud clang, and she was silenced.

A moment later, Dib came back in the room and sat at his desk, acting like nothing had happened. "Ahh…kid's alright. Hahahaha. She's a firecracker…but a night in the cooler usually dampens her fuse."

Zim however, was not happy with this. He walked over to the desk and pounded on it until Dib took off his headphones again. Before Dib could get a word out, Zim asked, "What did you do with her? What is this cooler?"

"Well, remember the vault down the hall I told you about?"

"Yeah?"

"Whenever she gets ornery, I just lock her in the vault for a night. It's good for behavior modification."

Zim gaped. "Is there air in the vault?"

"Well, there is a small vent, but the oxygen is too thin for her to stay conscious long. Don't worry, I'll revive her in the morning. Of course, I will have to punish her for pulling a gun on me. Perhaps a little water torture will do the trick…yes, that'll do it."

"No! I absolutely forbid you to do this! I order you to release her right now!"

Dib chuckled. "Zim, I'm the one in charge around here, and I'm telling you to go to your office now."

Zim didn't budge. "NO! I have had it up to here with you, you slarking son of a bitch! You have done a huge number of unforgivable things. You are accomplicing a villain, stealing tickets from their rightful owners, enslaving innocent toons and killing them when you don't want to keep them around any more, putting children in a cage, killed my best friend, and now you're throwing the woman I love into a vault with no air and are planning to torture her later! I will not take anymore of this, BIG HEAD!"

That did it. Dib snapped. He pulled out the gun, trembling, and pressed it right to Zim's head. "Go ahead Zim. Do it. Give me a reason to blow your head off, a reason to turn you even greener than you are now. Go on, say how big my head is! DO IT!"

Zim didn't know what came over him at that moment. All he knew was his hand suddenly shot up, dashing the gun from Dib's hand. As Dib stared in shock, Zim activated all of his spider legs, holding them only inches from Dib's enormous cranium. "Okay Dib, now it's my turn. Give me the combination to the vault and a keycard that will grant full access to the elevator. Now."

Dib gulped and handed Zim a keycard. "T-the combination is 4, 9, 2. J-just g-go away."

Zim grabbed the keycard and started backing away, still aiming at Dib's head. He reached the door and went through, slamming it behind him. A second later, he welded it shut with his spider legs to keep Dib from escaping. He ran out of the secretary office and into the corridor, where he could barely hear Rana screaming for help. The odd-looking panel he had noticed earlier had slid aside, revealing a big, thick-looking metal door with a combination wheel and handle. Zim spun the wheel, entering the combination, then opened the door. Rana was on the other side of the door, and surprised to see Zim. She immediately ran out and gave Zim a hug, surprising him. "Zim, thank you! I knew you would save me!"

Zim couldn't help blushing a little. "Come on, let's get the kids and get off this hellhole."

"What about the suitcases?"

"What suitcases?" Rana moved away, allowing Zim to see inside the vault. There were a few file cabinets of coral harvest reports, a huge suit of armor, a huge battleaxe, and four or five small suitcases lying on the floor. "Oh. What's in them?"

"Look for yourself." Zim entered the vault and opened the top suitcase. A golden flow filtered out. Just like the one in Speedo Bottom, this suitcase was filled with Mega Rail tickets! "It's all the Mega Rail tickets Bog and Dib have stolen over the years. Each one stolen from a good toon and now they just…sit there."

Zim frowned a moment, closing the suitcase, puzzling over something. "That's it!"

"What?"

"They just sit there! That's what's been bothering me! In the days when I was a hot salesman, I used to see Mega Rail tickets all the time…and they move!"

"What do you mean, they move?" she asked, confused.

"They become agitated around cartoon souls, and the ticket that belongs to you will actually fly into your hand. But these tickets, and the tickets in that suitcase of Charlie's, it's like they're…dead. Why would Bog and Dib be hoarding cases of counterfeit Mega Rail tickets?"

"We can figure that out later. Come on, we have to get out of here."

After taking the birdies from their cage and reaching the beach using Zim's new keycard, Zim told Rana to stay behind and watch the kids. "Rana, I'm sorry I wasn't able to get your pod back from Dib. That means you can't go down and tell the miners to come up here. I'm going to go get us a ship, so I need you to stay here and take care of the kids."

"Can't you just give me your pod?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, but I need it where I'm going. Please stay here, I couldn't bear it if you got in trouble again."

She sighed. "Okay Zim. I'll stay here. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't like feeling helpless. It's so…so un-Invaderish!"

"I'll try to get you a pod once we're far away from this place. But don't feel helpless. You're helping out right now by staying right where you are. I just need you to trust me while I go out and leave you here."

"I trust you Zim. You've already proven that to me."

Those few words meant the world to Zim. "Thanks." With that, he headed down the beach, looking for the crane Chepito had told him about. Surprisingly, he now felt a lot more cheerful. He realized he had finally admitted the truth to himself, how he loved Rana. He only hoped she felt the same way. He decided to tell her once they had made it away from here, vows of love should not be made on a godforsaken island at the edge of a giant abyss. After a bit of walking, he found what he was looking for. It was huge. Really huge. Really, really huge. There was a raised platform that could be reached by two concrete ramps. In between the ramps was a chute with a pair of big spinning spiked rollers at the top, the coral crushers. At the top of the platform was the crane. It was incredibly big, larger than Zim's last ship! A stepladder lead to a door on the massive structure. Only half of the crane's structure was visible, the wheels and stuff were hidden on the other side of the platform. A long boom arm and scoop stuck out of the top of the crane. It was apparent that the boom allowed the scoop to lower away from the crane, but also limited the amount of chain that could be used. Awed, Zim walked up the concrete slope and up the stepladder, entering the crane. Taking the controls, he drove the crane across its track, going to the other side of the island. Once the crane was docked, so to speak, Zim lowered the scoop, hoping it would grab onto the anchor Chepito had mentioned. He pulled up the scoop and got…nothing. He realized the anchor was probably just out of the crane's range, but he thought he should check it out just in case. Climbing out of the crane, Zim saw the conveyor belt he had been told about extending out of the water and stopping at the edge of the platform. The conveyor was currently moving up, but there was a metal rail in the middle Zim could walk down. Activating his force field and air bubble, Zim walked into the water. Going down the conveyor belt, he quickly reached the bottom of the sea. Unfortunately, the conveyor belt leveled out and was now starting to push him back up. Struggling against the motion, Zim suddenly noticed a lever sticking out of a base just outside the conveyor belt, probably for the miners to reverse the current of the belt. Extending a spider leg, Zim flipped the lever. The belt started moving forward, taking Zim with it. That's when he suddenly got to the edge, the current trying to pull him off the belt. In fact the belt actually went straight to the edge, so even if he managed to stay on, Zim would fall into the abyss. He quickly grabbed onto the stable metal rails on the side of the conveyor belt, stopping him. He was still affected by the current, but he could now move back up the conveyor belt or go down it. Looking behind him, he saw the large anchor partially imbedded in the soil just off the belt, its chain going over the edge. Carefully moving down the rail, Zim jumped to the anchor, catching onto it and allowing him to shimmy down the chain. He reached the edge and kept going down the chain, climbing downwards. As he was halfway down the chain, he looked down and saw two things. First off, he saw the pitch-black depths of the abyss. Second was the end of the chain and what was hanging from it, a big cruise ship. Just what he was looking for. Now that he had confirmed the ship's existence, he had to figure out some way of fixing the crane so it would reach the anchor. From what he deduced, the crane's long arm was what kept the scoop from reaching the anchor. If Zim could lower the scoop and sever it from the chain, the backlash would probably break off the boom and allow him to use the chain's full length. Of course, he would still have to figure out how to get the chain around the anchor without a scoop, but he figured he would be able to get around that. There was also the problem of how he would fix the ship up without a mechanic, since Gir was gone…he got off that thought and decided to cross that bridge when he got to it. Even though he knew he should climb back up and figure out how to get the crane to work for his intentions, he wanted to check out the ship itself. He continued to climb down the chain, making it onto the aft of the ship. He noticed that a panel had been pulled off of the hull, revealing a portion of the machinery within. He also heard weird noises coming from that hole. He ran over when he started to hear whatever was in the hole mutter "cupcake." He got to the edge of the hole and saw…"Gir!"

Gir, who was in the machinery, looked up from what he was doing. "Hi Master!"

Zim leapt into the small hole and hugged Gir. "Gir! I thought you were dead when you fell over the edge!"

"Naw, I just hit this aft panel while I was following, breaking my fall and opening up the engines. Look at what I've done already!" Gir pulled on a cable, and one of the ship's propellers started turning. Gir let go of the cable. "Is there no engine that can resist the love that's in these hands?"

"Apparently not. Gir, this ship could be our ticket off this island!"

"Hey, good point! I was just wrenching her for fun, but your idea's good too."

"I'll go back up to the surface and figure out a way to pull this thing up. You keep working on the engines while I'm gone, okay?"

Gir's eyes turned red as he saluted. "Yes Master, I obey!" Turning blue again, he started humming the Doom Song while working on the engines. Zim turned around and started climbing back up the ladder.

A few minutes later, he had driven the crane back around the island and lowered the scoop onto the beach. Walking out of the crane and down the slope, Zim went up to the scoop and extended his spider legs, their tips crackling with energy. Zim applied the tips to the base of the scoop, breaking the chain off. The chain lashed into the air, causing a small explosion on the crane. The boom arm fell off, landing in the water and going over the edge. Zim ran back up to the crane and drove the thing to the other side of the island where he lowered the chain. He climbed out of the crane and was disappointed to find that the chain was bunched up at the top of the conveyor, not going anywhere because he had switched the belt to go back up when he had left Gir. Zim knew he had to go back in the water. Activating his protection, he walked down the conveyor. He jumped off the side of the belt near the lever, walking over and flipping it. The belt started moving downwards, allowing the chain to flow down the belt and go just a little over the end of the belt. However, it left the anchor untouched. Zim thought for a moment then flipped the switch again. The chain retracted a little down the belt, bunching it up again. Flipping the switch once more, Zim caused the bunched up chain to go down the belt, part of the loops caused by the mass to go around the hook end of the anchor, securing it. Zim jumped back onto the conveyor and climbed the chain back up to the crane. Hopping into the control room, he pulled up the chain. Since the chain was firmly wrapped around the anchor, pulling up the chain pulled up the anchor as well, dragging the ship back onto the surface. Gir was hanging onto the chain, yelling, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! Taco!"

Zim used the crane to drag the boat all the way back to the beach. After he had dropped it onto the shore, he got out of the crane to see a little reunion. Gir was hugging Rana, babbling excitedly, and she wasn't sure what to make of him. Pugsy and Bibi were having fun, playing Aerial Tag. "Well, how'd I do?" Zim asked.

Rana smiled. "I'm impressed. I didn't doubt you, but I didn't think you would just drag a ship from out of nowhere like that. Are we ready to go?"

"Ask Gir, he's the mechanic."

"Okay. Gir, are we ready to go?"

Gir jumped off of Rana. "I'm afraid not. Although the ship is in excellent condition and I have repaired the engines, we'll need something to punch our way through the big coral reef, some kind of grinder or pulverizer or…"

"A crusher?" asked Zim.

"Yeah, that could work. Why, do you know where to find one?"

"Actually, I do. Be right back." Zim ran over to the crane and got in it. He lowered the chain, dropping it straight into the crushers, causing the big wheels to stop moving. Zim pulled the chain back up, wrenching the crushers from their sockets and causing them to roll onto the beach.

Gir ran over and examined them. "Oh yeah, these should do the trick. I've just gotta do some figuring…"

It took a few hours and a lot of help from the miners, but the crushers were mounted on the prow and the boat was ready to launch. The old ship, now named the Liberation, sailed away from the island, the big wheels of the crushers smashing through all the coral in their way. Zim and Rana looked down on the crushers from the prow end of the deck. "Works like crazy! Full speed ahead!" Zim yelled back to Gir.

"Aye aye captain!" Gir eagerly ran down tot he engine room and started messing with all the thingamabobs and gadgets, causing the ship to speed up, finally breaking free of the coral reef and sailing for the port town of Zapato.

While the rest of the crew (the miners) rushed around, getting things running, and the children were still playing Air Tag, Zim and Rana enjoyed a private moment by the railing on the side of the deck. "So, are you really going to bring me back and try to get your old job again?" asked Rana.

Zim shook his head fervently. "There's no job for me now, except to bring you and everyone else here to the end of the road."

Rana seemed surprised. "But if you aren't going to use me to get your job back, why did you spend all this time trying to find me?"

Zim hesitated. "Rana, I…I needed to find you. I…" Before he could finish his all-important sentence, something rammed the ship, causing the entire structure to shake. "What the?"

Rana looked over the railing. "Oh no!"

Zim followed suit and saw why she had said that. The octopus submarine surfaced, running alongside the ship. A hatch opened on the deck near the front fin of the submarine. Dib climbed out, looking very angry and slightly crazy. Zim cursed himself, realizing he should have tried to take away Dib's pod before he had trapped him in his office. He had obviously escaped with the use of the pod, just as any Irken would. Dib shook his fist at Zim. "I gave you ONE job, Zim! And look at you, you've screwed it up completely, like you screw up everything! Come on down here and we can settle our rivalry for good!"

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll rip a hole through this ship!"

Narrowing his eyes, Zim started to climb over the railing. "Zim-" started Rana.

"Don't try to stop me Rana. I've got to stop him once and for all, or he'll dog us forever. Besides, he has your pod."

"I wasn't going to try to stop you, I was just going to wish you good luck."

Zim looked in her eyes for a moment, then nodded. "Thanks."

He jumped over the railing, landing with a thud onto the submarine. As the vehicle pulled away, going several hundred meters ahead of the ship, Rana called up to Pugsy and Bibi, who had stopped their game of tag to watch. "Pugsy! Bibi! Go help Zim!"

Dib activated his spider legs. Zim followed suit, also activating his waterproof force field to protect him from the ocean spray as the submarine cut through the water. However, he knew the shield would not protect him from the sharp points of Dib's spider legs. "You do realize, this is going on your permanent record…" Dib said.

"Get it through your head, Dib, I'm not going to work for you."

"Oh that's okay, you're fired! Just consider this your severance package." He swiped at Zim with a leg, nearly decapitating him. Zim shot forward, thrusting at Dib with one leg at a time to retain balance. Dib quickly jumped out of the way and slashed at Zim with a leg before he could turn around. Zim yelped as the metal limb cut into his skin, drawing purple blood. He jumped forward, surprising Dib and allowing Zim to deliver a blow of his own. But before the leg could connect with Dib's chest, the submarine swerved, and the leg merely cut through part of Dib's trench coat. Zim turned towards the front and saw the octopus was watching the fight intently. Since the mollusk was the pilot, it was probably swerving whenever it looked like Zim was going to deliver a hit, causing him to miss. He quickly jumped out of the way as Dib tried to cut him again, barely missing a blow. This wasn't fair, Dib had chosen the battleground, and was cheating. Zim needed an advantage of his own. As the two circled, Zim suddenly saw Pugsy and Bibi flying after them. The twins separated, Pugsy flying to the front of the submarine while Bibi hovered behind Dib's head, unnoticed. Out of the corner of his eye, Zim could see Pugsy flying around the octopus' eyes, distracting it. Zim grinned. He now had his advantage. Yelling, he leapt backwards. As Dib stood there, startled by the unexpected move, Bibi pulled off Dib's pod, causing the spider legs to retract and leaving him helpless, or so it seemed as he fell to the deck. "Hey, give that back you stupid bird!" he yelled at Bibi as she flew back to the ship to return the pod to Rana. Zim knew his next step would be to stop the submarine. As they were ahead of the ship, Zim had already formed a plan that would probably get Dib out of this world once and for all. He ran towards the front of the submarine, causing Pugsy to fly out of the way. As the octopus had its view suddenly clear, it saw the angry Irken running towards it and almost panicked. Extending a spider leg, Zim thrusted at one of the octopus' two viewports, shattering it and piercing the big gastropod's eye. Screeching, the octopus stopped the sub and swam out through a hatch on the bottom, blood streaming from one eye. The submarine spun a little and came to a complete stop, dead in the water. As Zim cheered himself on, Dib snuck up from behind him. Pugsy tried to warn Zim, but when the Irken turned around to find the big headed human standing in front of him. Pulling a switchblade from a pocket in his trench coat, Dib slashed at Zim's chest, making a cut and knocking him to the deck. Dib stood on Zim's chest, the blade pointed to his throat. "Well, it looks like after all these years I've finally gotten you under the knife."

"Hey human, could you mind getting out of the way? Your giant head is blocking out the sun!" Zim shot back.

Angrily, Dib got off of Zim, pulling back the switchblade. That last retort about his head had clearly been too much, as was evident by Dib's twitching eyebrow. "I don't believe you, Zim! You're losing a fight so you pick on one of my pets and insult me??? Why can't you be more like me, Zim? I've been trying to show you, but you don't listen. If you'd just adopt the proper attitude, just look what could happen to you!" Dib had completely forgotten about the Liberty, not realizing that even thought the submarine had stopped, the ship was still coming. So it was no surprise when the ship, which had covered the distance while Dib was talking, started chewing through the hull of the submarine. The crushers pulled in a screaming Dib and ground him to pieces, popping his huge head like a zit and spraying blood over the hull of the ship. As the crushers started coming dangerously close to Zim, the Irken backed up as far as he could, trying to buy more time. At the last possible second, Pugsy grabbed him by the back of his collar and hoisted him into the air, pulling him away from the churning wheels and dropping him onto the deck.

Rana ran over to him, her utility pod reattached to her back. "Zim, are you all right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but Dib isn't. Well, I did promise him I'd grind him into powder."

"You're wounded! Does it hurt much?"

"It'll heal. Rana, there's something I wanted to tell you before the fight, something I've wanted to say for a long time."

"What?"

"I love you. I've loved you ever since I first ripped open your protoform. What I want to know is-"

"Do I love you back? Well…yes, yes I do. I think I've loved you ever since I first saw you, which I guess was also the first moment of my life." She smiled. "In a way, you could say I've loved you all my life." They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. And then, with no warning, the two aliens suddenly found themselves sharing their first kiss. The birds watched, disgusted. After all, they're only children. He Liberation sailed into the sunset, the remains of the submarine sinking behind them, including the shattered fragments of a pair of bloodstained glasses.

1 FOUR MONTHS LATER

A weary group of travelers walked across the frozen wasteland. The group included a robot, two birds, a crusty old grouper, and an assortment of other toons. Led by two Irkens wrapped in parkas and force fields, they finally reached their destination. A great ledge overlooked a massive fissure, not as big as the abyss, but still pretty big. A huge structure was sprawled across the ledge, built out of solid stone and looking every bit like an ancient Mayan temple, complete with ziggurat, all erected at least twice the normal proportions for a Mayan temple and pyramid. A monorail track was supported on high struts, going straight into the huge door at the top of the Ziggurat. It was the Mega Rail track, and the fact that it went straight into the ziggurat indicated they had reached their destination, the employment office. It also helped that there was a huge orange neon sign perched on top of the pyramid saying, "Nickelodeon Employment Office." Walking past two huge stone slabs set in the ground at the base of the temple and walking up a long set of stairs, the travelers reached the top of the pyramid a landing. Next to the huge entrance used for the Mega Rail were two smaller doors for people who walked all the way here. One of them, the closest to the monorail's entrance, had a small balcony overlooking it, with a strange-looking toon sitting in it. The toon was very small, a white lab mouse of some kind, with pink eyes and a big head. No, it wasn't as large as Dib's head, not even proportionately when compared tot he mouse's tiny body. It was merely wider than the average mouse's head. The mouse was dressed in colorful Mayan-style robes and had a really weird hat on that looked ungainly but probably kept him warm. The mouse looked down upon the group. He pointed to the grouper. "Name, please."

"Chepito."

"Waiting Area One. That's the door I'm sitting over. Congratulations, you've become an extra. The people inside will warm you up and give you the contract."

"Woohoo! I finally made it!" shouted Chepito, running…well, walking quickly through the door.

"Next!" said the mouse.

Pugsy walked into the mouse's view. "Pugsy, sir."

"Waiting room number two. That's the other door. Next!"

As Pugsy started towards the door and the next person stood up, Gir moaned and clutched his chest. Staggering backwards, he suddenly stepped off the landing, falling away. "Gir? Gir, no!" yelled Zim, running down the stairs, leaving the others to be sorted.

Uh oh! What's wrong with Gir? Will everybody get the roles they deserve, finally receiving their reward? What about Rana? Will she stay with Zim? How will Bog deal with all this? Find out next time!