1 PART FOUR
Zim ran down the steps, but there were so many that it took him some time before he got to the landing where he expected Gir to be. There was nothing there. His friend was nowhere in sight. Zim thought he might have fallen down the stairs they walked up on as well, so he headed down an even longer set to check. He reached the bottom, the snowy road they came in on. Gir wasn't here either. There were two Nickelodeon delivery trucks, though, each filled with cryogenic freezing pods. Curious, Zim examined the pods in the truck and saw that their frozen interiors mostly held supplies. That's when he noticed one pod with a familiar figure inside, his face frozen in anger, holding a coffee mug. Zim opened the pod. Bronu the Irken climbed out, angrier than before. After shaking the cobwebs out of his forehead, he noticed who had set him free. "YOU! You're the one that locked me in that pod in the first place!" He threw the coffee mug at Zim's head, hitting it. "I was trapped in that pod for a whole year with nothing but a coffee mug to read! You could have at least given me a magazine! And if you were headed out here in the first place, why didn't you give me a lift? Ah, phooey! I'm getting out of here!" He stomped past Zim, heading up the steps of the pyramid.
After rubbing his head from where the mug had hit it, he picked up the mug, noting that it was full of the freezing material. Putting it in his pod, he started back up the steps, hoping he could find a sign, any sign, of Gir. When he reached the first landing, he found Rana! "Rana, what are you doing down here? You should be getting your job!"
She shook her head, worried. "Zim, something's wrong."
"What?"
"Go up to the Gate Keeper and see! I'll keep looking for Gir." She paused, then gave him a hug. "Don't worry. I'm sure Gir is fine. Now go."
Nodding, Zim ran up the stairs. At the top, he was surprised to see the platform was empty. "Hey, where is everybody?"
"Waiting area two." Said the mouse.
"How long do they have to wait in there?"
"Until they have tickets. They were issued tickets on the Mega Rail and they do not have them now. The punishment for selling tickets is VERY severe."
"They didn't sell their tickets, they were stolen!"
"By who?"
"Emperor Bog stole them to sell to rich people who don't deserve them."
The "slow" sign next to the track started swinging back in forth, the bell ringing. The train was coming. "That might be them now. Let's see just what they deserve."
Out of the mist enshrouding the cold area, a light appeared at the end of the visible track. The light brightened as its source came out of the fog. The light was mounted to the front of the Mega Rail, a powerful yet beautiful magenta and purple machine, riding the rail towards the temple top, a line of cars behind it. It got closer, starting to slow down. Even though it was far away, Zim could swear that he had seen Mick Virago through one of the windows, sipping from a martini glass. The "Slow" sign kept swinging back and forth, but that's when something really strange happened. The sign started spinning as it swung back and forth, the ringing of the bell sounding odd and echoing. Suddenly, the front of the sign changed from a standard yellow with the word Slow on it, it turned red with the face of a grinning demon. A segmented barbed tail extended from the top of the sign, swinging around, and a red pointy arrow emerged from the bottom. The sign took one last swing, then bent way over, the tail straightening out and the arrow pointing straight down. On the huge stone slabs at the base of the temple, red glowing runes started to carve themselves into the slabs at an astonishing rate. With each rune completed, the train began glowing brighter and brighter. As the final rune was etched in place, the edges and crack between the two slabs burned a bright red glow. The slabs swung open like a pair of doors, revealing a swirling vortex of strange, negative colors. The glow around the train pulled off, forming a swirling ring of energy a little further down the track. As the monorail passed through the ring, it shuddered. Panels ripped off the front car, the engine, burning into nothingness as they fell away. The thing that was now where the engine car had been creaked and sprung up, the front of a horrendous metal dragon. The dragon roared and shook itself, causing the cars behind it to shatter as well, turning into cattle cars full of surprised and terrified people. The end of the monorail sprouted a barbed tail that flicked and swished in the air. The dragon picked up speed, hurtling down the track. As Zim was starting to fear it would crash into the station, the dragon leaped off the racks, plummeting into the vortex and taking all the passengers with it. The slabs rumbled and slowly fell, sealing the vortex beneath them. The mouse shook his head in disgust. Zim looked up at him, confused and frightened. "What happened to that train???"
"Your destiny may not be purchased."
"What does that mean?"
"You claim the tickets were stolen and being sold, correct?" Zim nodded. "If the tickets the people on that train had were real tickets, even if they were stolen ones, the Mega Rail would not have undergone the transformation you saw. The tickets those people had were counterfeit."
"Counterfeit tickets…of course!" Now Zim understood why the tickets in Dib's vault had been fakes. Bog was hoarding the real tickets for himself, not letting Dib have access to them and letting him think he had real ones. But why did Bog want the real tickets anyway? What purpose did that serve? "What happened to the people on the train?"
"The vortex you saw leads to the chaotic interiors of the worst possible place a toon can go."
"Hell?"
"No, no, that's only for the dead. Perhaps I should have said second worst. Those toons have gone to the minds of their own creators. Those that had been wicked throughout their existence will be reverted to protoforms. Those who were good, but duped into wasting their money on the fake tickets will merely be transported to the station in Nick City, where they began this ride."
"What about the ones that had real tickets?"
"None of them had real tickets. If at least one person had a real ticket, the train would have come into station. Those who had fakes would then be forced to ride the train back to the city and live without ever getting a job with the company."
"Why is everyone being detained?"
"After receiving a ticket, a toon may not sell it."
"They didn't sell the tickets, somebody else is."
"Bring the tickets. That is all."
"The tickets are in Nick City. How can I get there quickly?"
The mouse looked over at the monorail track. "These rails are already there."
"What?"
"The rails go all the way to Nick City. If you can find a means of riding the rail, you can get there relatively quickly."
"Ah. My friend is missing. Can you help?"
"A thousand sidekicks have died delivering the toons they were created to serve."
"What?"
"No, I can't help you find him."
"Who are you, anyway?"
"I am the Keeper of the Gate."
"What gate? I don't see any gate."
"What about the vortex the train leapt into?"
"Oh, so you control that gate?"
"I didn't say that."
Zim was getting confused and sick of this runaround. "Okay, what gate do you control?"
"The gate between this world and the real one. I stand vigil at this employment office, controlling the forces that allow gateways to open in this world, such as the ones leading to the Interdimensional Highway."
"Ohhhhhhhhhh…" He scratched his head. "Well, thanks for the help, I guess."
"The gate opens…the gate closes…it does not help."
"Uhhh, right." Zim started to walk to the stairs, but he paused and looked at the slow sign, which had reverted to normal after the train had leapt. "Are you the one that made that switch point straight down?"
The Gatekeeper shook his head. "The living train does what it does." Living train? Zim thought. The Mega Rail was alive? Weird. Then again, he did have a living car, so he really wasn't one to talk. He started walking to the stairs. Just as he was about to take the first step, the Gatekeeper called to him. "Recently I was visited by a bird with an Irken head. Do you know such a bird…Invader Zim?"
Zim walked back over tot he Gatekeeper surprised. "No. How do you know my-"
"He knew you…and for you, he left this note." Pulling a piece of paper bigger than himself (after all, he is just a tiny mouse) from somewhere on his ledge, the Gatekeeper dropped the paper into Zim's hands.
Frowning, Zim read it aloud. "I know what you're up to. Stay there, I'm coming to sprout you myself! Yours truly, Emperor Bog." Zim folded up the letter and put it in his pod. So Bog was out to get him for sure now. This gave him all the more reason to leave. He walked down the stairs. This time, the Gatekeeper did not stop him. When Zim reached the landing Rana had met him at, he suddenly noticed a path leading around the front of the pyramid he had not noticed before. Walking down it, he found a small square building jutting from the structure. A cable came out from the top of the doorway, going down the mountainside across a series of poles. It looked like a gondola station of some sort. Wait a minute. Gondolas? They had walked all the way up here when they could have taken a gondola ride? He knew he should have checked the other side of the mountain before they had started climbing up. He walked inside the station and found a fairly large room. He was standing on a platform that took up most of the room, with stairs down the side that lead to what looked like a work area. The gondola that this station was made for was hanging from its cable, a few mechanics mechanic working on it. It had a cool decal job, with flames and skulls. What drew Zim's attention, however, were two things. One, all the mechanics in the room were Sirs that looked a lot like Gir. Second, Gir himself was lying on the floor, groaning and surrounded by a couple of the Sirs. Rana stood by, looking sad. Gir moaned. "Gir? Gir! What's going on?"
"Hear the name of the great one!" said one Sir.
"Gir!" the two said in unison."
"I'll repeat: what's going on?" said Zim.
"Zim, Gir's sick." Said Rana.
"Sick? But he's a robot! He can't get sick!"
"How long?" asked one Sir.
"What?"
"How long has this great being been away from engines, from heat?"
"Well, we've been hiking for two months-"
"Months?" asked both Sirs. "Oh, then the great one will surely die."
"But-but why?"
"This great machine is an older model SIR. He does not have the same kind of internal heating unit as we, so he is freezing on the inside. He only needs a change of warmth to stop being cold, and we have plenty of heat in here."
Zim sighed in relief. "Well, that's good! I was getting worried for a second, with your talk of him dying and all he needs is a little warmth."
"Zim, that isn't Gir's only problem." Said Rana.
"What? There's more?"
"Do you not know the one skill, the one desire, the one purpose of any mechanic?" asked a Sir.
"Yeah, to fix things like engines."
"Yes, but it is more than that. The spirit of a mechanic requires speed to sustain itself, speed from a vehicle of some sort. The great one's noble spirit has obviously fallen low from his lack of speed in the last two months, and he will surely die if he is not placed in something fast."
"Do you have any vehicles that can make him better?"
"Aside from the gondola?"
"The only other vehicles that come here are the trucks that deliver the supplies and toons."
"But they are slow."
"So slow!" they chorused.
"Who are you guys? How do you know this stuff?" asked Zim.
"We are mechanics!" they chorused.
"Just like him!" said one Sir, pointing to the moaning Gir.
"But never before have we seen one of our kind so…so…"
"So experienced!" the two chorused.
"Experienced?" asked Zim.
"He has been in many places and has done many things to engines. He is clearly a superior mechanic, and thus deserves our devotion and worship."
"Uh, if you say so." Said Zim. He walked past the two Sirs, kneeling down to examine Gir. He looked at him sadly. This was his fault. He had pushed everyone on, trying to get them to the final destination. How could he have not noticed his friend's growing sickness? He was the one who had gotten Gir fired, just because he wanted to beat Dib…"Gir, I'm so sorry…"
Gir struggled, recognizing him. "Maaaaaaster…is that you?"
"I'm here, Gir. Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"
"Couldn't…stop…have to…save everyone…"
"Are you in much pain?"
"Only because I let yo down, Master…"
"Gir, you didn't let me down. If anything, I let you down."
"Don't…say that…" Gir's little body was wracked with coughs. One of the Sirs put a blanket over him, trying to warm him up a little for fear that Gir would fall apart if they moved him. He was a bit damaged from falling from such heights as the top of the pyramid, after all.
"What can I get you? Will anything help?"
"I need to race, to fly, like…like the old days, Master, in the Doom Wagon…" His face seemed to light up, remembering the car he loved so much.
"But the Doom Wagon isn't here, Gir." Said Zim sadly.
"Maybe I'll see her…on the other side…"
"Can't we just build a new hot rod?"
Gir groaned, trying to sit up. "No more hot rods, Master. There's no time, and I'm too sick to build it…" He stopped, noticing the gondola for the first time. "Hey, what's that red thing?"
Zim looked. "What, the gondola?"
"Sweet…decal job…" He wobbled, then stood up. "Listen, fellas…somebody, somebody get me a pen…"
Half an hour later…Gir let go of the pen, letting it fall to the floor. He looked up at the masterpiece he had just finished drawing on the wall. It was a detailed blueprint that showed how the gondola could be attached to the side of the monorail and be carried down the track by a powerful rocket sled that would ride atop the rail, with Gir sitting in it. What looked like rocket engines protruded from the back of the sliding engine. "There. What could be my final work. It'll save me, if you can find the right…" He convulsed, then fell to the ground.
Zim, Rana and the two Sirs ran over. "The right what? The right what?" asked Zim.
Gir wheezed. "The right…fuel…" He hacked.
"Gir, what kind of fuel?" asked Rana.
"Rocket…fuel…" Gir's head fell back, hitting the floor with a clunk, his eyes near dead. That last exertion had clearly taken a lot out of him.
A few of the Sirs draped several blankets on Gir, trying to keep him a little warm. The others immediately started work on the modifications to the gondola and began building the rocket engine. However, they didn't have the right fuel. That was the one problem. Rana picked up a hammer and walked over to the gondola. "Rana, what are you doing?" Zim asked.
"Zim, if we're going to save Gir, these mechanics need all the help they can get. I actually understand a bit of what those blueprints are saying, so I'm the only one of us qualified to help."
"But then what do I do? Gir's my servant, I have to take responsibility for him."
"Find the right fuel."
"Where am I going to find rocket fuel?"
"I don't know, just look around!"
"Okay, I'm going." His derfug-polhu grumbled. "Right after I have a snack, that is. Hey, would you guys happen to have a kitchen around here?"
"Down the stairs and to your right." Said one of the mechanics.
"Thanks." Zim walked down the stairs. Even though his derfug-polhu told him to go through the door that led to the kitchen, Zim wanted to take a quick looksee at the rest of this place. The Sirs down here were hard at work creating the engine, so Zim decided to leave them alone. On the wall near the kitchen were a couple of locked tool cabinets and a pair of oil drums with little faucets so you could put some on rags for lubrication or something. Zim obeyed his stomach equivalent and walked into the kitchen. A
After opening the refrigerator and rapidly devouring some of the food inside, he took a look around. There wasn't much else in here, a sink (shudder) a toaster, a coffee mug rack, and an open drawer. Zim walked over to the open drawer and looked inside. It was full of rags. He picked one up, something in his intuition telling him he would need it. He was kind of cold, even with the parkas, so he did something you should never try at home. He stuck the rag in the toaster. Now this is very dangerous, so never ever do it. All the toaster did was make the rug nice and warm, but that was good enough for Zim. He walked back into the main room and a weird thought came into his head. He went over to one of the oil drums and soaked his rag in it, making it all…well, oily. Then, following another impulse, he went back in the kitchen and put the oily rag in the toaster. This is even more dangerous kids, so I reiterate: don't try this at home! The toaster caused the oily rag to ignite, setting the toaster top on fire. Immediately, one of the Sirs ran in with a fire extinguisher and put the flame out. "Not again! Will they never learn?"
"It was the little guy, I saw him." Said Zim.
"Argh, he denied it the last time too!" The Sir started to leave the kitchen.
"Hey, would that fire extinguisher happen to be magnesium-based?"
The mechanic checked the warning label on the extinguisher. "Why yes, yes it is. Why?"
"Just asking." The mechanic nodded and left. Zim thought a moment. Magnesium based fire extinguisher…magnesium based fire extinguisher…how did that help him? His mind flashed back to one year ago, back to the server room at the Nickelodeon building. The janitor had said that magnesium and the cryogenic packing material did not mix well. And he just happened to have a coffee mug of the material with him. Zim smiled. He had just discovered his rocket fuel.
He placed the crusty mug on the coffee rack, took out another rag, oiled it up, and stuck it back in the toaster, causing it to ignite. The same Sir from before ran in and put out the flame, a little of the spray hitting the chemical in the coffee mug. The mug started to flash and shake. Hearing the noise, another mechanic came in just in time to see the mug erupt off the rack, ricocheting off the walls, and sailing through the door. "What was that?!?"
"Standard Nickelodeon cryogenic material."
"Something that powerful could fuel…" The fire extinguisher-toting Sir's eyes lit up. "A rocket!" the two chorused.
"If only we had more!" wailed the other Sir.
"Well, I could score you a couple of truckloads if you're interested." Said Zim.
Finally, the mechanics completed the structure, looking like a giant car engine, fan and everything, and placed the whole thing on the monorail track. Several chromed nozzles stuck out from the back. Hanging over the edge of the track, attached to the engine by a metal arm, was the gondola, with Zim and Rana inside. Gir was strapped to the middle of the engine, placed on a cushioned bed, so to speak. The mechanics watched from the platform eagerly as one of them approached carrying a torch that would ignite the rocket fuel. One of the Sirs stepped forward to say a few words to the slumbering Gir. "We shoot you now like an arrow into the wind. May you pierce the heart of the wind itself and drink the blood of flight."
"Speed is the food of the Great Gir!" yelled one Sir.
"Speed bring you life!" yelled another.
"Come back to us someday!" yelled another. The torchbearer lit the engines, igniting them with a blue-white flame. As the slow sign waved back and forth, the rocket sled shot down the track, heading for Nick City.
A few hours later…night had fallen, and the rocket sled was still going strong, the gondola shaking violently beneath it over the ocean. Yes, the ocean. The elevated rail traveled over the ocean itself to reach the employment office. Gir slumbered, warmed up, the two lovers tried to keep their balance. "Are you sure this thing will hold together?" yelled Zim over the roar of the rocket engines.
"Uh, at least part of the way. Hey, look! We've already made it to Speedo Bottom!"
Up on the sled, Gir finally chose to wake up, revived by the speeding vehicle. "Ohhhh…Master? MASTER?" He opened his eye cams, looking around him. "Master, where are you?" Gir started panicking. "MASTER?!? I'M FRIGHTENED!" Gir started struggling with the straps, shifting the engine's weight. He violently fought with the straps, damaging the sled and causing it to start malfunctioning. The sled wobbled and fell off the track, diving into the water beneath it, taking the gondola and the two Irkens with it. It was a very, very lucky thing that the gondola was airtight. Gir managed to detach the gondola from the rest of the sled, using his surprising strength to push the metal box all the way to Speedo Bottom, shoving it to land on the strip near Toto's place, just off the dock where the Big had once been. Before an angry Zima and Rana could reprimand Gir, the android said, "Ah, Speedo Bottom! What a town! Remember the glory days, Master?"
"Yes Gir, but the glory days are over and there's nothing here for us, and the same will happen to you if you don't apologize for-"
"Nothing here except maybe my beloved. I'll go check!" Before Zim could say anything else, Gir ran up the dock, rushing for where the Doom Wagon had been stored.
"His beloved? He has a girlfriend here?" asked Rana.
"Yes…and no." Suddenly, they heard Gir screaming. "Uh oh. We'd better go see what the problem is."
They ran up the dock and made it to the shed where the Doom Wagon was stored. Gir had opened one of the big doors and was dancing around, upset. "Gir, what's wrong?" asked Rana.
"Doomy! She's been…she's been…" Gir stammered, unable to say it.
Zim walked a little into the shed and stopped, astonished. The Doom Wagon was sitting in the middle of the room, shut off. Starting a few inches from Zim's feet was the beginning of a long, very complicated trail of dominoes, put together to form a picture of a certain bigheaded boy. The trail ended right behind the Doom Wagon, where the dominoes went up a tiny staircase, each domino getting bigger, before finally ending with a huge domino. This domino was poised at the top of the stairs right above of a generic cartoon plunger detonator, the fuse leading right to a huge cache of dynamite stuffed into the main thruster. "Booby trapped!"
"But by who?" asked Gir. Zim stared at him, finding it hard to believe Gir didn't see the obvious pattern the dominos made. "WHO?!?" Zim shook his head.
He couldn't get near the detonator, because the slightest vibration would make the dominos tumble down, triggering the detonator and destroying the Doom Wagon along with most of the pier. "Okay Gir, don't panic…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I said, DON'T panic."
"Oh, okay." Despite what he said, Gir looked very queasy at the thought of his beloved Doom Wagon in any danger, much the same way Zim would feel about Rana in a situation like this.
Zim walked out of the shed and to Rana. "Dib's booby trapped the Doom Wagon."
"But how? I saw him ripped to shreds!"
"He must have done it on his last trip through town." He looked back at the trail of dominoes. "You might want to step back, in case it blows."
She shook her head. "I'm with you to the end, you know that!"
Zim sighed. "I know, I just don't want you to get hurt again because of me."
"Zim, it's all right. I'll stay here and keep Gir from trying to get to the Doom Wagon, while you go into town and try to get help."
"I don't see what kind of help could save the Wagon, but okay." Zim thought he should start his search at the pig track. He walked to the edge of the pier and saw that the extendable bridge was retracted. He pulled the lever, trying to make the thing work. He bridge shook and whined, but did not move. It was apparent that maintenance had gotten lax in the last eight months. He headed over to the bridge that would take him to the intersection. Once there, he checked his options. He could either go to the shipyards, the Blue Pod, or Velasco's home dock. From what he could see, the shipyard was totally empty, so he headed to Velasco's dock. He found nobody was there either. Velasco's house was locked up tight, the lights off. The shack where he used to sit on a stool whenever Zim visited him had nothing but the old stool and an empty bottle on a counter. Looking closer, Zim saw it wasn't empty at all. It contained a scale replica of the Massive. It was completed, but apparently abandoned. Zim picked it up and put it in his pod, thinking it might come in handy.
He headed over to the Blue Pod to see if he could get any help there, maybe ride the elevator up to see what had happened to the Café Irkana. He was surprised to find that a gate had been placed over the elevator entrance, and the elevator itself was at the top of the shaft. A sign on the gate said, "Due to the new curfew, elevator operation ceases at sundown." Curfew? Who was running the town now? He went to the front of the Blue Pod and was surprised to find the doors were open. He walked inside. The nightclub was surprisingly empty. Nobody was there, but everything was all set up as if guests were expected. Zim started to walk to the kitchen, to Olivia's office, hoping he could find something useful. As he passed the door to Olivia's office, it burst open. Olivia was in the doorframe. "Zim!"
"Olivia!"
She shook her furry head, smiling sardonically. "Invader Zim. My, my, it's been a long time since we last saw each other, isn't it?"
Zim slowly backed up. "Hey, if you're coming onto me, I should warn you that I already have a girlfriend."
She shrugged. "Whatever. I heard you went POW in Zapato, baby!"
"Yeah, well Emperor Bog tried and missed to sprout me. Now it's my turn. I'm going to Nick City."
Olivia seemed surprised. "Zim, that city has changed a lot! I'd better come with you. Just let me get a few things." She walked back into the office, slamming the door behind her.
"Okay, but if you hear any loud explosions anytime soon, the deal's off!" He got no response. Zim walked into the kitchen. He found something new, a big cask of something standing by the sink. It wasn't nearly as big as the wine casks from the High Roller's Lounge, but it was still bigger than he was. There was a label on it. "Gelatin. 3 step instructions. 1. Pour. 2. Chill. 3. Serve." Zim looked at the cask of gelatin for a few minutes, thinking carefully. He suddenly got a brilliant, though kind of strange, idea that would allow him to walk right on top of the dominos without setting them off. Taking the bottled ship, he attached the bottle to the tap and filled it with the gelatin. He then stowed it away and headed back to the pier. Nobody had really done anything since he had left. Good. He offered the bottle to Gir. "Here, try this, it might calm you down."
Curious, Gir took the bottle, not seeing the ship inside because of the gelatin. "What's it called?"
"Uh…Massive Mango."
Gir doused the bottle in a few sips, haphazardly throwing it over his shoulder as he finished. "Hmmm…that was not bad. Not bad at all." He stood there for a moment, then grabbed Zim by the collar and pulled him down to his level. "YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THAT RIGHT NOW!"
"Olivia's kitchen!"
Gir released Zim and raced off to the Blue Pod, yelling "MASSIVE MANGO!"
Rana stared after him. "I thought we were in a hurry."
"Don't worry, this won't take long."
Sure enough, Gir quickly returned, looking even queasier than before after drinking an entire cask of gelatin. "Ooohhh…my stomach doesn't stretch the way it used to…"
Now for the next phase of the plan. "Hey Gir, what is that stuff they pack canned hams with anyway?"
Holding his mouth, Gir rushed to the door of the shed and started spitting up the gelatin. Don't worry, this isn't the same as vomiting. Since he's a robot, he can't vomit anything solid because an internal furnace immediately destroys any food he eats. However, the liquids were kept in a tank until they were needed, or until something made a robot so sick that they were ejected from the body. And no, don't ask me why the spat up gelatin didn't knock over the dominos. Finally, Gir finished ejecting the entire contents of the cask from his body. He stood away from the door, looking a little better. "Ahhh…that's better."
Zim walked into the door and found the results of his experiment had not quite worked. The gelatin now covered the floor of the shed, but it was liquefied, meaning the dominos couldn't fall over. It wasn't gelling. "Come on, gel! Zim commands you!" he yelled at the liquid.
"Oh, it can't gel now." Said Gir. "It got all nice and warm in my belly." Zim remembered the instructions on the cask had said to chill the gelatin. Maybe if he could somehow cool down the liquid, it would gel? Of course, he would need something really cold to…that was it! He ran out of the shed, past Gir and Rana, heading down the pier and over to Toto's place. He remembered that Toto didn't just tattoo things, he scrimshawed bones and stuff. To make it easier to carve, Toto used liquid nitrogen on the bone to freeze it and make it more rigid. He always kept around a spare bottle or two. Climbing up then down into Toto's house, Zim saw it hadn't changed a bit. Toto was fast asleep in the cot at the back of the room, so Zim knew he had to be quiet. He carefully walked over to the cupboard, raised himself on spider legs, opened the cupboard, and pulled out a small bottle of liquid nitrogen. Prize in hand, Zim headed back to the shed. He walked inside and sprayed a little nitrogen onto the liquid. The liquid quivered and stood still, frozen as a block of gelatin. "Hey, good idea! I bet I can keep it down now that it's cold!" said Gir.
"Just wait until I get out of the way, okay?" Zim walked across the gelatin, over the dominos. Walking around the Doom Wagon, he found that the dominos on the stairs were still free. If Zim wasn't careful, they could fall and still trigger the bomb. Carefully, Zim walked over to the dynamite- clogged thruster. Zim grabbed onto the main fuse that connected all the dynamite sticks together. He knew there was a chance the bomb would go off if he pulled the fuse out, but he had to try. Steeling himself, he ripped the fuse out of the dynamite. After a few tentative seconds, it was clear that he had defused the bomb. Allowing himself a grin, he called, "Rana, Gir, come back here and help me clear all this junk out of the primary thruster!"
After cleaning out the Doom Wagon, Gir reactivated Doomy, who was every happy to have her lover back. Soon after, Olivia showed up and they drove off, Zim insisting on the top seat. After two days of driving at warp speed, they made it to the edge of the Petrified Forest. Zim was astonished at how much the city had changed. Even at night and at a distance, it was easy to distinguish. The whole place was lit up brighter than Las Vegas. "Ooh, pretty lights…" said Gir, drooling.
"Love, please stop drooling on my dashboard, you'll ruin the finish." Said Doomy.
"Bog must have taken over the whole town! See, there are big neon faces of him everywhere!" said Zim.
"He hasn't had much resistance." Purred Olivia. There's only one small group that resists him, and they live out on the fringes of the city."
As if on cue, maybe a dozen cartoons dressed in olive green berets and uniforms jumped out of hiding places, all pointing their guns at our heroes. As they rose their hands in the air, Rana said, "Places like this, you mean?"
The revolutionaries led the group through a secret tunnel wide enough to accommodate the Doom Wagon, entering the city sewers. After a seemingly long trek, they reached a large chamber where they left Gir and Doomy and were escorted into what looked like a small control room. A familiar squirrel manned the computers as a guard watched over the three. There was a series of birdhouses around the room where a few pigeons were nested. One wall had a series of photographs of agents taped to it. "I hope they're not hurting Gir or Doomy…" said Rana.
Olivia snorted. "Ha! Shows what you know about this group's leader. We have nothing to fear from these people."
After a few minutes, a familiar figure walked through the door into the command center. Zim grinned in recognition. "Well, well, well. Patrick Star. Long time no see."
The big pink starfish nodded. "Zim. We meet again. I see you have found what you were looking for." he said, looking at Rana for a moment. "How fortunate for you to arrive just as we, too, are about to achieve success. Our army has grown, and right now our top agents are in Bog's weapons lab, about to close in on the enemy in his own den. In mere moments, we will have secured the Sproutella manufacturing facility and will be able to gain suitable arms to finish off Bog. The war will be over, and we will have won. I couldn't have done it without you, Zim."
Suddenly, a beetle stumbled through the door, flowers blooming all over him. "Trap!" He gasped. "It was a trap!" He fell to the floor, the flowers blossoming up his body.
"Stand back! There is only one thing to do!" said Patrick. Running over to a fire axe, he grabbed it and ran back to the beetle, chopping into his carapace with the blade.
As the others looked in shock and disgust, they were surprised when the upper part of the beetle's body, along with two arms and his head, hopped up. "Thank you, sir! You have saved me, but more than that, you have enabled me to continue to serve the movement!"
"What was that you said about a trap?" asked Patrick.
"Bog uncovered our agent in his weapons lab."
Patrick's eyes widened. "No!" He ran over to a monitor on the wall, watching it. Zim ran after him, climbing up to get a good view.
The picture wobbled slightly, indicating the camera was a small one worn by a person. It showed part of a room, with a window. Emperor Bog, a squat Martian with a few warts on his large skull and wearing some kind of lightweight armor with a belt that had a lot of gadgets on it, was angrily shaking a terrified purple hummingbird. "Lola, you idiot!" shouted Bog. "Your new lab assistant is a spy! Haven't you ever heard of a BACKGROUND CHECK?" Dropping the hummingbird, Bog pulled out a gun and shot the agent wearing the wire. The view shook and fell over as the agent collapsed onto a table, the view partially blocked by flowers.
Zim and Patrick were taken aback. "What?" asked Zim.
Patrick leapt into action. "There is little time and no time to explain it in. Now I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands, er, appendages..." As he turned to head for the door, Olivia blocked him.
"Take me with you. I've longed to be of service to your cause for months." She begged.
Patrick paused for a moment, then nodded. He turned to Zim. "My friend, I am sorry about this, but I must request your service once again. Bog's tower is right above these headquarters. If you can, find a way to stop the weapons production and defeat Bog. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I am confident enough in your skills and bravery. I know that you can do it. Good luck, and Viva la Revolucion!" He walked over to the wall of photographs, ripped one down, and threw it in the wastebasket. Followed by Olivia, he left the room.
Can Zim do it? Can he help bring down Bog? Find out next time…
Zim ran down the steps, but there were so many that it took him some time before he got to the landing where he expected Gir to be. There was nothing there. His friend was nowhere in sight. Zim thought he might have fallen down the stairs they walked up on as well, so he headed down an even longer set to check. He reached the bottom, the snowy road they came in on. Gir wasn't here either. There were two Nickelodeon delivery trucks, though, each filled with cryogenic freezing pods. Curious, Zim examined the pods in the truck and saw that their frozen interiors mostly held supplies. That's when he noticed one pod with a familiar figure inside, his face frozen in anger, holding a coffee mug. Zim opened the pod. Bronu the Irken climbed out, angrier than before. After shaking the cobwebs out of his forehead, he noticed who had set him free. "YOU! You're the one that locked me in that pod in the first place!" He threw the coffee mug at Zim's head, hitting it. "I was trapped in that pod for a whole year with nothing but a coffee mug to read! You could have at least given me a magazine! And if you were headed out here in the first place, why didn't you give me a lift? Ah, phooey! I'm getting out of here!" He stomped past Zim, heading up the steps of the pyramid.
After rubbing his head from where the mug had hit it, he picked up the mug, noting that it was full of the freezing material. Putting it in his pod, he started back up the steps, hoping he could find a sign, any sign, of Gir. When he reached the first landing, he found Rana! "Rana, what are you doing down here? You should be getting your job!"
She shook her head, worried. "Zim, something's wrong."
"What?"
"Go up to the Gate Keeper and see! I'll keep looking for Gir." She paused, then gave him a hug. "Don't worry. I'm sure Gir is fine. Now go."
Nodding, Zim ran up the stairs. At the top, he was surprised to see the platform was empty. "Hey, where is everybody?"
"Waiting area two." Said the mouse.
"How long do they have to wait in there?"
"Until they have tickets. They were issued tickets on the Mega Rail and they do not have them now. The punishment for selling tickets is VERY severe."
"They didn't sell their tickets, they were stolen!"
"By who?"
"Emperor Bog stole them to sell to rich people who don't deserve them."
The "slow" sign next to the track started swinging back in forth, the bell ringing. The train was coming. "That might be them now. Let's see just what they deserve."
Out of the mist enshrouding the cold area, a light appeared at the end of the visible track. The light brightened as its source came out of the fog. The light was mounted to the front of the Mega Rail, a powerful yet beautiful magenta and purple machine, riding the rail towards the temple top, a line of cars behind it. It got closer, starting to slow down. Even though it was far away, Zim could swear that he had seen Mick Virago through one of the windows, sipping from a martini glass. The "Slow" sign kept swinging back and forth, but that's when something really strange happened. The sign started spinning as it swung back and forth, the ringing of the bell sounding odd and echoing. Suddenly, the front of the sign changed from a standard yellow with the word Slow on it, it turned red with the face of a grinning demon. A segmented barbed tail extended from the top of the sign, swinging around, and a red pointy arrow emerged from the bottom. The sign took one last swing, then bent way over, the tail straightening out and the arrow pointing straight down. On the huge stone slabs at the base of the temple, red glowing runes started to carve themselves into the slabs at an astonishing rate. With each rune completed, the train began glowing brighter and brighter. As the final rune was etched in place, the edges and crack between the two slabs burned a bright red glow. The slabs swung open like a pair of doors, revealing a swirling vortex of strange, negative colors. The glow around the train pulled off, forming a swirling ring of energy a little further down the track. As the monorail passed through the ring, it shuddered. Panels ripped off the front car, the engine, burning into nothingness as they fell away. The thing that was now where the engine car had been creaked and sprung up, the front of a horrendous metal dragon. The dragon roared and shook itself, causing the cars behind it to shatter as well, turning into cattle cars full of surprised and terrified people. The end of the monorail sprouted a barbed tail that flicked and swished in the air. The dragon picked up speed, hurtling down the track. As Zim was starting to fear it would crash into the station, the dragon leaped off the racks, plummeting into the vortex and taking all the passengers with it. The slabs rumbled and slowly fell, sealing the vortex beneath them. The mouse shook his head in disgust. Zim looked up at him, confused and frightened. "What happened to that train???"
"Your destiny may not be purchased."
"What does that mean?"
"You claim the tickets were stolen and being sold, correct?" Zim nodded. "If the tickets the people on that train had were real tickets, even if they were stolen ones, the Mega Rail would not have undergone the transformation you saw. The tickets those people had were counterfeit."
"Counterfeit tickets…of course!" Now Zim understood why the tickets in Dib's vault had been fakes. Bog was hoarding the real tickets for himself, not letting Dib have access to them and letting him think he had real ones. But why did Bog want the real tickets anyway? What purpose did that serve? "What happened to the people on the train?"
"The vortex you saw leads to the chaotic interiors of the worst possible place a toon can go."
"Hell?"
"No, no, that's only for the dead. Perhaps I should have said second worst. Those toons have gone to the minds of their own creators. Those that had been wicked throughout their existence will be reverted to protoforms. Those who were good, but duped into wasting their money on the fake tickets will merely be transported to the station in Nick City, where they began this ride."
"What about the ones that had real tickets?"
"None of them had real tickets. If at least one person had a real ticket, the train would have come into station. Those who had fakes would then be forced to ride the train back to the city and live without ever getting a job with the company."
"Why is everyone being detained?"
"After receiving a ticket, a toon may not sell it."
"They didn't sell the tickets, somebody else is."
"Bring the tickets. That is all."
"The tickets are in Nick City. How can I get there quickly?"
The mouse looked over at the monorail track. "These rails are already there."
"What?"
"The rails go all the way to Nick City. If you can find a means of riding the rail, you can get there relatively quickly."
"Ah. My friend is missing. Can you help?"
"A thousand sidekicks have died delivering the toons they were created to serve."
"What?"
"No, I can't help you find him."
"Who are you, anyway?"
"I am the Keeper of the Gate."
"What gate? I don't see any gate."
"What about the vortex the train leapt into?"
"Oh, so you control that gate?"
"I didn't say that."
Zim was getting confused and sick of this runaround. "Okay, what gate do you control?"
"The gate between this world and the real one. I stand vigil at this employment office, controlling the forces that allow gateways to open in this world, such as the ones leading to the Interdimensional Highway."
"Ohhhhhhhhhh…" He scratched his head. "Well, thanks for the help, I guess."
"The gate opens…the gate closes…it does not help."
"Uhhh, right." Zim started to walk to the stairs, but he paused and looked at the slow sign, which had reverted to normal after the train had leapt. "Are you the one that made that switch point straight down?"
The Gatekeeper shook his head. "The living train does what it does." Living train? Zim thought. The Mega Rail was alive? Weird. Then again, he did have a living car, so he really wasn't one to talk. He started walking to the stairs. Just as he was about to take the first step, the Gatekeeper called to him. "Recently I was visited by a bird with an Irken head. Do you know such a bird…Invader Zim?"
Zim walked back over tot he Gatekeeper surprised. "No. How do you know my-"
"He knew you…and for you, he left this note." Pulling a piece of paper bigger than himself (after all, he is just a tiny mouse) from somewhere on his ledge, the Gatekeeper dropped the paper into Zim's hands.
Frowning, Zim read it aloud. "I know what you're up to. Stay there, I'm coming to sprout you myself! Yours truly, Emperor Bog." Zim folded up the letter and put it in his pod. So Bog was out to get him for sure now. This gave him all the more reason to leave. He walked down the stairs. This time, the Gatekeeper did not stop him. When Zim reached the landing Rana had met him at, he suddenly noticed a path leading around the front of the pyramid he had not noticed before. Walking down it, he found a small square building jutting from the structure. A cable came out from the top of the doorway, going down the mountainside across a series of poles. It looked like a gondola station of some sort. Wait a minute. Gondolas? They had walked all the way up here when they could have taken a gondola ride? He knew he should have checked the other side of the mountain before they had started climbing up. He walked inside the station and found a fairly large room. He was standing on a platform that took up most of the room, with stairs down the side that lead to what looked like a work area. The gondola that this station was made for was hanging from its cable, a few mechanics mechanic working on it. It had a cool decal job, with flames and skulls. What drew Zim's attention, however, were two things. One, all the mechanics in the room were Sirs that looked a lot like Gir. Second, Gir himself was lying on the floor, groaning and surrounded by a couple of the Sirs. Rana stood by, looking sad. Gir moaned. "Gir? Gir! What's going on?"
"Hear the name of the great one!" said one Sir.
"Gir!" the two said in unison."
"I'll repeat: what's going on?" said Zim.
"Zim, Gir's sick." Said Rana.
"Sick? But he's a robot! He can't get sick!"
"How long?" asked one Sir.
"What?"
"How long has this great being been away from engines, from heat?"
"Well, we've been hiking for two months-"
"Months?" asked both Sirs. "Oh, then the great one will surely die."
"But-but why?"
"This great machine is an older model SIR. He does not have the same kind of internal heating unit as we, so he is freezing on the inside. He only needs a change of warmth to stop being cold, and we have plenty of heat in here."
Zim sighed in relief. "Well, that's good! I was getting worried for a second, with your talk of him dying and all he needs is a little warmth."
"Zim, that isn't Gir's only problem." Said Rana.
"What? There's more?"
"Do you not know the one skill, the one desire, the one purpose of any mechanic?" asked a Sir.
"Yeah, to fix things like engines."
"Yes, but it is more than that. The spirit of a mechanic requires speed to sustain itself, speed from a vehicle of some sort. The great one's noble spirit has obviously fallen low from his lack of speed in the last two months, and he will surely die if he is not placed in something fast."
"Do you have any vehicles that can make him better?"
"Aside from the gondola?"
"The only other vehicles that come here are the trucks that deliver the supplies and toons."
"But they are slow."
"So slow!" they chorused.
"Who are you guys? How do you know this stuff?" asked Zim.
"We are mechanics!" they chorused.
"Just like him!" said one Sir, pointing to the moaning Gir.
"But never before have we seen one of our kind so…so…"
"So experienced!" the two chorused.
"Experienced?" asked Zim.
"He has been in many places and has done many things to engines. He is clearly a superior mechanic, and thus deserves our devotion and worship."
"Uh, if you say so." Said Zim. He walked past the two Sirs, kneeling down to examine Gir. He looked at him sadly. This was his fault. He had pushed everyone on, trying to get them to the final destination. How could he have not noticed his friend's growing sickness? He was the one who had gotten Gir fired, just because he wanted to beat Dib…"Gir, I'm so sorry…"
Gir struggled, recognizing him. "Maaaaaaster…is that you?"
"I'm here, Gir. Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"
"Couldn't…stop…have to…save everyone…"
"Are you in much pain?"
"Only because I let yo down, Master…"
"Gir, you didn't let me down. If anything, I let you down."
"Don't…say that…" Gir's little body was wracked with coughs. One of the Sirs put a blanket over him, trying to warm him up a little for fear that Gir would fall apart if they moved him. He was a bit damaged from falling from such heights as the top of the pyramid, after all.
"What can I get you? Will anything help?"
"I need to race, to fly, like…like the old days, Master, in the Doom Wagon…" His face seemed to light up, remembering the car he loved so much.
"But the Doom Wagon isn't here, Gir." Said Zim sadly.
"Maybe I'll see her…on the other side…"
"Can't we just build a new hot rod?"
Gir groaned, trying to sit up. "No more hot rods, Master. There's no time, and I'm too sick to build it…" He stopped, noticing the gondola for the first time. "Hey, what's that red thing?"
Zim looked. "What, the gondola?"
"Sweet…decal job…" He wobbled, then stood up. "Listen, fellas…somebody, somebody get me a pen…"
Half an hour later…Gir let go of the pen, letting it fall to the floor. He looked up at the masterpiece he had just finished drawing on the wall. It was a detailed blueprint that showed how the gondola could be attached to the side of the monorail and be carried down the track by a powerful rocket sled that would ride atop the rail, with Gir sitting in it. What looked like rocket engines protruded from the back of the sliding engine. "There. What could be my final work. It'll save me, if you can find the right…" He convulsed, then fell to the ground.
Zim, Rana and the two Sirs ran over. "The right what? The right what?" asked Zim.
Gir wheezed. "The right…fuel…" He hacked.
"Gir, what kind of fuel?" asked Rana.
"Rocket…fuel…" Gir's head fell back, hitting the floor with a clunk, his eyes near dead. That last exertion had clearly taken a lot out of him.
A few of the Sirs draped several blankets on Gir, trying to keep him a little warm. The others immediately started work on the modifications to the gondola and began building the rocket engine. However, they didn't have the right fuel. That was the one problem. Rana picked up a hammer and walked over to the gondola. "Rana, what are you doing?" Zim asked.
"Zim, if we're going to save Gir, these mechanics need all the help they can get. I actually understand a bit of what those blueprints are saying, so I'm the only one of us qualified to help."
"But then what do I do? Gir's my servant, I have to take responsibility for him."
"Find the right fuel."
"Where am I going to find rocket fuel?"
"I don't know, just look around!"
"Okay, I'm going." His derfug-polhu grumbled. "Right after I have a snack, that is. Hey, would you guys happen to have a kitchen around here?"
"Down the stairs and to your right." Said one of the mechanics.
"Thanks." Zim walked down the stairs. Even though his derfug-polhu told him to go through the door that led to the kitchen, Zim wanted to take a quick looksee at the rest of this place. The Sirs down here were hard at work creating the engine, so Zim decided to leave them alone. On the wall near the kitchen were a couple of locked tool cabinets and a pair of oil drums with little faucets so you could put some on rags for lubrication or something. Zim obeyed his stomach equivalent and walked into the kitchen. A
After opening the refrigerator and rapidly devouring some of the food inside, he took a look around. There wasn't much else in here, a sink (shudder) a toaster, a coffee mug rack, and an open drawer. Zim walked over to the open drawer and looked inside. It was full of rags. He picked one up, something in his intuition telling him he would need it. He was kind of cold, even with the parkas, so he did something you should never try at home. He stuck the rag in the toaster. Now this is very dangerous, so never ever do it. All the toaster did was make the rug nice and warm, but that was good enough for Zim. He walked back into the main room and a weird thought came into his head. He went over to one of the oil drums and soaked his rag in it, making it all…well, oily. Then, following another impulse, he went back in the kitchen and put the oily rag in the toaster. This is even more dangerous kids, so I reiterate: don't try this at home! The toaster caused the oily rag to ignite, setting the toaster top on fire. Immediately, one of the Sirs ran in with a fire extinguisher and put the flame out. "Not again! Will they never learn?"
"It was the little guy, I saw him." Said Zim.
"Argh, he denied it the last time too!" The Sir started to leave the kitchen.
"Hey, would that fire extinguisher happen to be magnesium-based?"
The mechanic checked the warning label on the extinguisher. "Why yes, yes it is. Why?"
"Just asking." The mechanic nodded and left. Zim thought a moment. Magnesium based fire extinguisher…magnesium based fire extinguisher…how did that help him? His mind flashed back to one year ago, back to the server room at the Nickelodeon building. The janitor had said that magnesium and the cryogenic packing material did not mix well. And he just happened to have a coffee mug of the material with him. Zim smiled. He had just discovered his rocket fuel.
He placed the crusty mug on the coffee rack, took out another rag, oiled it up, and stuck it back in the toaster, causing it to ignite. The same Sir from before ran in and put out the flame, a little of the spray hitting the chemical in the coffee mug. The mug started to flash and shake. Hearing the noise, another mechanic came in just in time to see the mug erupt off the rack, ricocheting off the walls, and sailing through the door. "What was that?!?"
"Standard Nickelodeon cryogenic material."
"Something that powerful could fuel…" The fire extinguisher-toting Sir's eyes lit up. "A rocket!" the two chorused.
"If only we had more!" wailed the other Sir.
"Well, I could score you a couple of truckloads if you're interested." Said Zim.
Finally, the mechanics completed the structure, looking like a giant car engine, fan and everything, and placed the whole thing on the monorail track. Several chromed nozzles stuck out from the back. Hanging over the edge of the track, attached to the engine by a metal arm, was the gondola, with Zim and Rana inside. Gir was strapped to the middle of the engine, placed on a cushioned bed, so to speak. The mechanics watched from the platform eagerly as one of them approached carrying a torch that would ignite the rocket fuel. One of the Sirs stepped forward to say a few words to the slumbering Gir. "We shoot you now like an arrow into the wind. May you pierce the heart of the wind itself and drink the blood of flight."
"Speed is the food of the Great Gir!" yelled one Sir.
"Speed bring you life!" yelled another.
"Come back to us someday!" yelled another. The torchbearer lit the engines, igniting them with a blue-white flame. As the slow sign waved back and forth, the rocket sled shot down the track, heading for Nick City.
A few hours later…night had fallen, and the rocket sled was still going strong, the gondola shaking violently beneath it over the ocean. Yes, the ocean. The elevated rail traveled over the ocean itself to reach the employment office. Gir slumbered, warmed up, the two lovers tried to keep their balance. "Are you sure this thing will hold together?" yelled Zim over the roar of the rocket engines.
"Uh, at least part of the way. Hey, look! We've already made it to Speedo Bottom!"
Up on the sled, Gir finally chose to wake up, revived by the speeding vehicle. "Ohhhh…Master? MASTER?" He opened his eye cams, looking around him. "Master, where are you?" Gir started panicking. "MASTER?!? I'M FRIGHTENED!" Gir started struggling with the straps, shifting the engine's weight. He violently fought with the straps, damaging the sled and causing it to start malfunctioning. The sled wobbled and fell off the track, diving into the water beneath it, taking the gondola and the two Irkens with it. It was a very, very lucky thing that the gondola was airtight. Gir managed to detach the gondola from the rest of the sled, using his surprising strength to push the metal box all the way to Speedo Bottom, shoving it to land on the strip near Toto's place, just off the dock where the Big had once been. Before an angry Zima and Rana could reprimand Gir, the android said, "Ah, Speedo Bottom! What a town! Remember the glory days, Master?"
"Yes Gir, but the glory days are over and there's nothing here for us, and the same will happen to you if you don't apologize for-"
"Nothing here except maybe my beloved. I'll go check!" Before Zim could say anything else, Gir ran up the dock, rushing for where the Doom Wagon had been stored.
"His beloved? He has a girlfriend here?" asked Rana.
"Yes…and no." Suddenly, they heard Gir screaming. "Uh oh. We'd better go see what the problem is."
They ran up the dock and made it to the shed where the Doom Wagon was stored. Gir had opened one of the big doors and was dancing around, upset. "Gir, what's wrong?" asked Rana.
"Doomy! She's been…she's been…" Gir stammered, unable to say it.
Zim walked a little into the shed and stopped, astonished. The Doom Wagon was sitting in the middle of the room, shut off. Starting a few inches from Zim's feet was the beginning of a long, very complicated trail of dominoes, put together to form a picture of a certain bigheaded boy. The trail ended right behind the Doom Wagon, where the dominoes went up a tiny staircase, each domino getting bigger, before finally ending with a huge domino. This domino was poised at the top of the stairs right above of a generic cartoon plunger detonator, the fuse leading right to a huge cache of dynamite stuffed into the main thruster. "Booby trapped!"
"But by who?" asked Gir. Zim stared at him, finding it hard to believe Gir didn't see the obvious pattern the dominos made. "WHO?!?" Zim shook his head.
He couldn't get near the detonator, because the slightest vibration would make the dominos tumble down, triggering the detonator and destroying the Doom Wagon along with most of the pier. "Okay Gir, don't panic…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I said, DON'T panic."
"Oh, okay." Despite what he said, Gir looked very queasy at the thought of his beloved Doom Wagon in any danger, much the same way Zim would feel about Rana in a situation like this.
Zim walked out of the shed and to Rana. "Dib's booby trapped the Doom Wagon."
"But how? I saw him ripped to shreds!"
"He must have done it on his last trip through town." He looked back at the trail of dominoes. "You might want to step back, in case it blows."
She shook her head. "I'm with you to the end, you know that!"
Zim sighed. "I know, I just don't want you to get hurt again because of me."
"Zim, it's all right. I'll stay here and keep Gir from trying to get to the Doom Wagon, while you go into town and try to get help."
"I don't see what kind of help could save the Wagon, but okay." Zim thought he should start his search at the pig track. He walked to the edge of the pier and saw that the extendable bridge was retracted. He pulled the lever, trying to make the thing work. He bridge shook and whined, but did not move. It was apparent that maintenance had gotten lax in the last eight months. He headed over to the bridge that would take him to the intersection. Once there, he checked his options. He could either go to the shipyards, the Blue Pod, or Velasco's home dock. From what he could see, the shipyard was totally empty, so he headed to Velasco's dock. He found nobody was there either. Velasco's house was locked up tight, the lights off. The shack where he used to sit on a stool whenever Zim visited him had nothing but the old stool and an empty bottle on a counter. Looking closer, Zim saw it wasn't empty at all. It contained a scale replica of the Massive. It was completed, but apparently abandoned. Zim picked it up and put it in his pod, thinking it might come in handy.
He headed over to the Blue Pod to see if he could get any help there, maybe ride the elevator up to see what had happened to the Café Irkana. He was surprised to find that a gate had been placed over the elevator entrance, and the elevator itself was at the top of the shaft. A sign on the gate said, "Due to the new curfew, elevator operation ceases at sundown." Curfew? Who was running the town now? He went to the front of the Blue Pod and was surprised to find the doors were open. He walked inside. The nightclub was surprisingly empty. Nobody was there, but everything was all set up as if guests were expected. Zim started to walk to the kitchen, to Olivia's office, hoping he could find something useful. As he passed the door to Olivia's office, it burst open. Olivia was in the doorframe. "Zim!"
"Olivia!"
She shook her furry head, smiling sardonically. "Invader Zim. My, my, it's been a long time since we last saw each other, isn't it?"
Zim slowly backed up. "Hey, if you're coming onto me, I should warn you that I already have a girlfriend."
She shrugged. "Whatever. I heard you went POW in Zapato, baby!"
"Yeah, well Emperor Bog tried and missed to sprout me. Now it's my turn. I'm going to Nick City."
Olivia seemed surprised. "Zim, that city has changed a lot! I'd better come with you. Just let me get a few things." She walked back into the office, slamming the door behind her.
"Okay, but if you hear any loud explosions anytime soon, the deal's off!" He got no response. Zim walked into the kitchen. He found something new, a big cask of something standing by the sink. It wasn't nearly as big as the wine casks from the High Roller's Lounge, but it was still bigger than he was. There was a label on it. "Gelatin. 3 step instructions. 1. Pour. 2. Chill. 3. Serve." Zim looked at the cask of gelatin for a few minutes, thinking carefully. He suddenly got a brilliant, though kind of strange, idea that would allow him to walk right on top of the dominos without setting them off. Taking the bottled ship, he attached the bottle to the tap and filled it with the gelatin. He then stowed it away and headed back to the pier. Nobody had really done anything since he had left. Good. He offered the bottle to Gir. "Here, try this, it might calm you down."
Curious, Gir took the bottle, not seeing the ship inside because of the gelatin. "What's it called?"
"Uh…Massive Mango."
Gir doused the bottle in a few sips, haphazardly throwing it over his shoulder as he finished. "Hmmm…that was not bad. Not bad at all." He stood there for a moment, then grabbed Zim by the collar and pulled him down to his level. "YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THAT RIGHT NOW!"
"Olivia's kitchen!"
Gir released Zim and raced off to the Blue Pod, yelling "MASSIVE MANGO!"
Rana stared after him. "I thought we were in a hurry."
"Don't worry, this won't take long."
Sure enough, Gir quickly returned, looking even queasier than before after drinking an entire cask of gelatin. "Ooohhh…my stomach doesn't stretch the way it used to…"
Now for the next phase of the plan. "Hey Gir, what is that stuff they pack canned hams with anyway?"
Holding his mouth, Gir rushed to the door of the shed and started spitting up the gelatin. Don't worry, this isn't the same as vomiting. Since he's a robot, he can't vomit anything solid because an internal furnace immediately destroys any food he eats. However, the liquids were kept in a tank until they were needed, or until something made a robot so sick that they were ejected from the body. And no, don't ask me why the spat up gelatin didn't knock over the dominos. Finally, Gir finished ejecting the entire contents of the cask from his body. He stood away from the door, looking a little better. "Ahhh…that's better."
Zim walked into the door and found the results of his experiment had not quite worked. The gelatin now covered the floor of the shed, but it was liquefied, meaning the dominos couldn't fall over. It wasn't gelling. "Come on, gel! Zim commands you!" he yelled at the liquid.
"Oh, it can't gel now." Said Gir. "It got all nice and warm in my belly." Zim remembered the instructions on the cask had said to chill the gelatin. Maybe if he could somehow cool down the liquid, it would gel? Of course, he would need something really cold to…that was it! He ran out of the shed, past Gir and Rana, heading down the pier and over to Toto's place. He remembered that Toto didn't just tattoo things, he scrimshawed bones and stuff. To make it easier to carve, Toto used liquid nitrogen on the bone to freeze it and make it more rigid. He always kept around a spare bottle or two. Climbing up then down into Toto's house, Zim saw it hadn't changed a bit. Toto was fast asleep in the cot at the back of the room, so Zim knew he had to be quiet. He carefully walked over to the cupboard, raised himself on spider legs, opened the cupboard, and pulled out a small bottle of liquid nitrogen. Prize in hand, Zim headed back to the shed. He walked inside and sprayed a little nitrogen onto the liquid. The liquid quivered and stood still, frozen as a block of gelatin. "Hey, good idea! I bet I can keep it down now that it's cold!" said Gir.
"Just wait until I get out of the way, okay?" Zim walked across the gelatin, over the dominos. Walking around the Doom Wagon, he found that the dominos on the stairs were still free. If Zim wasn't careful, they could fall and still trigger the bomb. Carefully, Zim walked over to the dynamite- clogged thruster. Zim grabbed onto the main fuse that connected all the dynamite sticks together. He knew there was a chance the bomb would go off if he pulled the fuse out, but he had to try. Steeling himself, he ripped the fuse out of the dynamite. After a few tentative seconds, it was clear that he had defused the bomb. Allowing himself a grin, he called, "Rana, Gir, come back here and help me clear all this junk out of the primary thruster!"
After cleaning out the Doom Wagon, Gir reactivated Doomy, who was every happy to have her lover back. Soon after, Olivia showed up and they drove off, Zim insisting on the top seat. After two days of driving at warp speed, they made it to the edge of the Petrified Forest. Zim was astonished at how much the city had changed. Even at night and at a distance, it was easy to distinguish. The whole place was lit up brighter than Las Vegas. "Ooh, pretty lights…" said Gir, drooling.
"Love, please stop drooling on my dashboard, you'll ruin the finish." Said Doomy.
"Bog must have taken over the whole town! See, there are big neon faces of him everywhere!" said Zim.
"He hasn't had much resistance." Purred Olivia. There's only one small group that resists him, and they live out on the fringes of the city."
As if on cue, maybe a dozen cartoons dressed in olive green berets and uniforms jumped out of hiding places, all pointing their guns at our heroes. As they rose their hands in the air, Rana said, "Places like this, you mean?"
The revolutionaries led the group through a secret tunnel wide enough to accommodate the Doom Wagon, entering the city sewers. After a seemingly long trek, they reached a large chamber where they left Gir and Doomy and were escorted into what looked like a small control room. A familiar squirrel manned the computers as a guard watched over the three. There was a series of birdhouses around the room where a few pigeons were nested. One wall had a series of photographs of agents taped to it. "I hope they're not hurting Gir or Doomy…" said Rana.
Olivia snorted. "Ha! Shows what you know about this group's leader. We have nothing to fear from these people."
After a few minutes, a familiar figure walked through the door into the command center. Zim grinned in recognition. "Well, well, well. Patrick Star. Long time no see."
The big pink starfish nodded. "Zim. We meet again. I see you have found what you were looking for." he said, looking at Rana for a moment. "How fortunate for you to arrive just as we, too, are about to achieve success. Our army has grown, and right now our top agents are in Bog's weapons lab, about to close in on the enemy in his own den. In mere moments, we will have secured the Sproutella manufacturing facility and will be able to gain suitable arms to finish off Bog. The war will be over, and we will have won. I couldn't have done it without you, Zim."
Suddenly, a beetle stumbled through the door, flowers blooming all over him. "Trap!" He gasped. "It was a trap!" He fell to the floor, the flowers blossoming up his body.
"Stand back! There is only one thing to do!" said Patrick. Running over to a fire axe, he grabbed it and ran back to the beetle, chopping into his carapace with the blade.
As the others looked in shock and disgust, they were surprised when the upper part of the beetle's body, along with two arms and his head, hopped up. "Thank you, sir! You have saved me, but more than that, you have enabled me to continue to serve the movement!"
"What was that you said about a trap?" asked Patrick.
"Bog uncovered our agent in his weapons lab."
Patrick's eyes widened. "No!" He ran over to a monitor on the wall, watching it. Zim ran after him, climbing up to get a good view.
The picture wobbled slightly, indicating the camera was a small one worn by a person. It showed part of a room, with a window. Emperor Bog, a squat Martian with a few warts on his large skull and wearing some kind of lightweight armor with a belt that had a lot of gadgets on it, was angrily shaking a terrified purple hummingbird. "Lola, you idiot!" shouted Bog. "Your new lab assistant is a spy! Haven't you ever heard of a BACKGROUND CHECK?" Dropping the hummingbird, Bog pulled out a gun and shot the agent wearing the wire. The view shook and fell over as the agent collapsed onto a table, the view partially blocked by flowers.
Zim and Patrick were taken aback. "What?" asked Zim.
Patrick leapt into action. "There is little time and no time to explain it in. Now I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands, er, appendages..." As he turned to head for the door, Olivia blocked him.
"Take me with you. I've longed to be of service to your cause for months." She begged.
Patrick paused for a moment, then nodded. He turned to Zim. "My friend, I am sorry about this, but I must request your service once again. Bog's tower is right above these headquarters. If you can, find a way to stop the weapons production and defeat Bog. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I am confident enough in your skills and bravery. I know that you can do it. Good luck, and Viva la Revolucion!" He walked over to the wall of photographs, ripped one down, and threw it in the wastebasket. Followed by Olivia, he left the room.
Can Zim do it? Can he help bring down Bog? Find out next time…
