Here we are. The final chapter. The epic conclusion. I hope you all liked
this fic.
Zim and Rana were not completely sure what to do to help. Zim got an idea and turned to her. "Rana, I need to get up to Bog. I'll need a disguise so I can get close to him, and a gun so we'll have something to talk about when we get there."
"If you figure out the gun part, I'll get you a disguise. Of course, it would be good if I knew where Bog's hideout is."
"His casino tower is directly above these headquarters. There's a secret passage outside that'll take you there." Said Sandy.
"Right, I'll meet you there." Rana said, walking out the door.
"Hmm…volunteers quickly for dangerous service, intelligent, a good spirit…she could be of great aid to the cause." Said Sandy.
"To me, she is the cause. Who was the guy whose photograph was just thrown away?"
"That was our agent in Bog's lab, the guy you saw get sprouted on camera."
Zim looked at all the pigeons and a thought occurred to him. "Hey, how were all the messengers you guys sent me able to find me no matter where I was?"
"It's a cool ability we found out they had soon after hatching. All we have to do is give a pigeon a letter and show it a photograph of the guy we want to send it to and off it goes."
"That is cool. Hey, whatever happened to Little Zim and Little Rana? Are they in here?"
"No, they're on delivery right now. You know, it's kind of funny, but soon after hatching, they started mating with one another."
"Heh, just like their namesakes."
"What was that?"
"Uh, nothing. Mind if I take a look at the cameras again?"
"Knock yourself out."
Zim looked through the same camera as before. The purple hummingbird Bog had berated before was now nervously tending some flowers. "Who's the bird?"
"Remember Lola from Catdog?"
"Yeah."
"You're looking at her."
"What's she doing working for Bog?"
"She's his Sproutella manufacturer. Of course, this is kind of a problem for her."
"Why?"
"She's a hummingbird. Hummingbirds fly around fields, pollinating flowers. They love flowers. Lola even got a side job as a florist before the takeover. But now her creations are being used to kill people. As a result, she is fairly…conflicted."
"Why doesn't she make guns for our side?'
"We've been trying to get to her for months, but her lab is in the tower above us. And you've already seen the result of our latest attempt to reach her."
Zim suddenly got an idea of how to get Lola out of the tower. He took out the scary letter Bog has sent him and gave it to a random pigeon. He then went to the trashcan and fished out the photograph of the dead toon, and showed it to the pigeon. After memorizing the guy's face, the pigeon flapped its wings and took off, heading for the exit. "Go, fly, fly like the wind!" He went back to the monitor to watch what would happen next.
The pigeon landed in the window behind Lola, looking around confusedly, trying to find its target. Lola did not see the bird and kept tending the flowers. A shadow appeared behind the pigeon, who did not notice. The shadow was that of a demon raven with an Irken head, which landed on the window ledge right behind the poor pigeon and immediately ate it, eagerly devouring the pigeon's flesh, and ended up with the note hanging from its bottom teeth. Hearing the noise of the pigeon's bones being cracked, Lola spun around. She got even more nervous. "One of Bog's messengers…with a m-m-message for me?" Flying over to the window, she pulled the note from the raven's mouth and read it. "'I know what you're up to. Stay there, I'm coming to sprout you myself! Yours truly, Emperor Bog.'" Lola gasped. "I knew it! I knew he was out to get me the whole time." Flying back to her worktable, Lola grabbed a gun and several canisters of Sproutella, shoving them all into a sack. She flew over to a poster on the wall. "You'll never find my secret hideout, Bog. You're going to have to find yourself another florist!" She flew through the poster, sliding down a tube and falling through a hatch and ending up in a chamber relatively close to the LTA headquarters. She flew down a passageway, not noticing that one of her cans had sprung a leak and was dripping a dilute trail of Sproutella behind her.
Zim stepped away from the monitor. "Wow, that worked better than I had hoped!"
"What did?"
"I just scared Lola out of her wits and caused her to jump to somewhere down in the catacombs."
Sandy stared at Zim in shock. "I don't believe it! You accomplish in only a few minutes what it's taken us months to try and fail at?"
"Yes."
"Patrick was right. You are worthy of the title of special agent." She went back to work.
Zim thought he might need something to help him follow the trail of Sproutella. He noticed that the sprouted beetle corpse on the floor wasn't completely sprouted, one arm was still flower-free. Thinking it might come in handy, Zim pulled the arm from the body and stuffed it in his utility pod. Zim left the headquarters, ready to go looking for Lola. After climbing down a small ladder, he found himself in the eerie depths of the catacombs. He immediately ran into Gir and Doomy, who were parked right outside the headquarters entrance, and they were doing something weird. Gir seemed to be plugged into Doomy for some reason and was making strange sounds. "Gir, what are you doing?"
"Ack!" said Doomy and Gir. They quickly retracted their cables. "Uh, nothing Master." Said Gir quickly.
"Yeah, nothing." Said Doomy.
Zim frowned. "Whatever. Just don't do whatever it is you're doing while I'm around, okay?"
"Okay."
Zim walked away from the car, finding himself in the large chamber Lola had dropped into. There was a small puddle of Sproutella on the floor, and a few drops scattered here and there leading into a side passage. Zim followed the drops and found himself at an intersection of many passages. The trail had vanished, so Zim wasn't sure which way to go. He sighed and turned around, hoping he would find a way to rediscover the trail later. He could try brushing the beetle arm against the floor, but then he would lose his only tool to finding the trail. Walking back into the main chamber, he saw a ladder leading to a passage high up the wall. Zim climbed up the ladder and found himself in a corridor. Halfway down the corridor was a set of stairs leading to a door marked, "Casino." Since Zim didn't have even part of a disguise yet, he knew he would have to wait to go in there. There was another ladder at the end of the corridor. He walked down and climbed up. He was surprised to find himself on the backstage of a theater. There were props lying around haphazardly, a hot plate with a pot of coffee, a small set of stairs leading to the dressing rooms, a ladder against the wall that led up to a snow making machine, and two figures leaning against the wall near the ladder, chatting. They were both lizards, and wearing ridiculous makeup and costumes. He walked over to the lizards. "Hi, what's going on here?"
"Oh, we're the latest members of the Johnny Thunder Review." Said one of the lizards.
"Where can I get makeup like that?"
"Well, you would have to be a Thunderboy like us, wouldn't you?" said the other lizard.
"Of course, it's too late for you to try out for a part, we just got the last two roles." Said the first lizard.
"Better luck next season." Said the other. As Zim turned away, he heard the stupid lizards snickering at him. Zim knew he needed a disguise to get into Bog's hideout, and he thought makeup would be the first step. He needed a way to get rid of those two clowns. Fortunately, he had a plan.
He grabbed the pot of coffee and climbed up to the catwalk with the snow maker. He poured the coffee through the slots in the catwalk, right above one of the lizards, melting his makeup. The lizard gasped. "You-you poured coffee on me!"
"What? No I didn't!"
"Don't deny it! You were trying to ruin my makeup, envious of my skill! And now you have! I'm ruined! How could you, after I took you under my wing?" The lizard ran off sobbing.
The other followed him, yelling, "Wait, that's not it at all!"
Chuckling, Zim went into the dressing room and immediately got his face covered in ugly makeup. Fortunately, it was easy to wipe off if he ever needed to. He would now be able to walk around without being recognized, but he wasn't ready to go to the casino. He still didn't have a gun. He was about to leave when he took another look at the big snow machine. Wanting to take a closer look, he climbed up the ladder. He saw that the machine was really more of a chute than an actual maker. The grinder that turned the chunks of Styrofoam into smaller bits looked handheld. Zim grabbed the handle of the grinder and picked it up. It was handheld. Zim suddenly realized he had his means to follow the trail of Sproutella using the beetle arm without wasting it. He stuck the arm into the grinder. Now, whenever he turned the thing on, it would grind up part of the arm and spit it out, causing the little flakes to land wherever he aimed them, hopefully revealing the trail of Sproutella. He put the object in his pod and climbed back down the ladder, then returned to the catacombs. He climbed all the way back down to the main chamber and walked down the passage, ending up at the intersection. Taking out the grinder, Zim ground up a little arm, spraying the chips in front of him. Nothing. He walked up to the entrance to each passage and tried again. Nothing happened, until he reached the last passage. The arm chips hit the ground and immediately turned green, little blossoms sprouting. This was the way to go! Unfortunately, the passage was too dark to venture down by himself. He would need some strong lights. And he knew just where to find them.
After convincing Doomy and Gir to help him navigate the dark catacombs, they ventured down the tunnel, using the grinder and the Doom Wagon's headlights to follow the passage. Winding their way through the maze of passages and tunnels, following a trail of sproutella until they reached one long, large passage that led straight to what looked like a flower shop. It was out of place, but obviously Lola's hideout. "Hey Master, what's that?" asked Gir, pointing in the direction of the flower shop.
"That must be the florist's hideout!"
"No, I think my lover meant the thing coming right toward us." Said Doomy.
"What thing coming right for us?" A giant albino crocodile loomed into view, roaring loud enough to shake the entire tunnel. "Oh, THAT thing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim ran behind the vehicle and climbed into the top chair where he would be safe. Gir quickly lowered a force field over the driver's seat, protecting him from the monster. The crocodile roared and charged, slamming into the Doom Wagon, trying to get to Zim, the only meat it could smell. "Doomy, quick, give me gun control!" the targeting display and triggers popped up in front of Zim.
Aiming at the mouth of the crocodile, Zim fired the laser cannons at point blank, causing them to be propelled several feet backwards as the crocodile exploded, showering the Doom Wagon with green blood and chunks of skin. The force fields kept Zim and Gir from getting dirty, but the same cannot be said for Doomy. "Oh no! I'm indecent! Don't look at me!" she wailed.
Gir got out of his seat. "Don't worry, I'll clean you!"
"I'll just leave you two alone, okay? I've got stuff to do." Zim jumped down from the throne as Gir pulled cleaning supplies from a hatch in the side of the Doom Wagon. Gingerly stepping around the puddle of stuff that was all that remained of the crocodile, Zim walked up to the flower shop, noting that the flower baskets in the front windows were sprouted toons. Shuddering, he walked into the store. It looked just like a normal flower shop, except that all the displays had sprouted toons in them. It was eerie. What looked like a ball of tape was screwed to the wall in the doorjamb. There was a large stack of crates filled with Sproutella in the back of the room. Lola was hiding underneath the counter, quivering, her eyes darting over the place, keeping a tight grip on her gun. She started babbling something, hearing him come in. Zim kept quiet, wanting to hear what she said, hoping for any clues.
"Bog? Bog, is that you? You'd better back off, man! I mean it, I'm not feeling too rosy! I'm having…I feel…I'm thinking I'd better…things are gonna change around here! Yeah, man…who, who, who do you think you're fooling? I love plants, is that so wrong? Plants are beautiful! You people, you think plants are death! Plants are life! You all, you're all death! You're all the same! If people were plants, the world would be a better place! I could make everybody into plants! I've got enough juice right here to turn the world GREEN! I've got half a mind to…I got half a mind…what? I didn't say anything of the kind? Where do you get off? What can I do to get you to take me seriously? I look at you and I see a garden waiting to happen! What you haven't seen, you haven't seen the MEADOW. You want to take a walk in the MEADOW, punk? And then he says to me, you'll get BENEFITS! I need to…that's not helping! Plants don't kill! You want life within death, Bog? Is that what you want? Everybody lies, even the bell! Ding ding! Can I help you, can I help you? CAN I HELP YOU! CAN I FRIGGIN' HELP YOU DING, DING, DING?! Would you like some baby's breath with that? The little bell told me, I'm a florist. I AM NOT A FLORIST! I AM A MANUFACTURER OF WEAPONS! It's like people, there are good plants and there are bad plants…DING! DING! You're going to drive me crazy! Tape your mouth shut, you're not gonna tell no more lies! I'll fertilize your short carcass! I'll take-what did you say?"
Okay, Lola had obviously gone nuts. Carefully, Zim walked into sight of Lola. She looked very nervous, a wreck. He spoke calmly and quietly, as if to an animal. "It isn't Bog, it's me, Zim. Remember me? We both used to work for Nick? We had that cool party to celebrate my reinstatement after the first cancellation and you gave me that nice ficus?"
Lola twitched, then mimicked a distorted version of what he had just said. "It isn't Bog, it's Zim come to sprout ya!"
"Listen Lola, I'm not here to hurt you."
"Listen Lola, I'm here to hurt you."
"Look, I just need a gun so I can put Bog out of business."
"Look, I need a gun…I need Bog…we're in business!"
"Listen, I really need that gun…" Lola wasn't listening anymore. Had she ever been listening in the first place? He walked over to the crates of Sproutella and examined them. "Lots of Sproutella you got here."
"Yeah, the good stuff too, not like that slow-acting fern food I left Bog." Seeing how unstable Lola seemed, Zim decided it would be a good idea to just take some Sproutella and leave. As he was about to open a crate, Lola flew out from the counter. "What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!? Get back!" She started pointing the gun at Zim. Frightened, he backed off. Lola flew back under the counter and wailed "Put your hands in the air, put your hands on your head, put your head in your lap!" Yes, Lola was definitely crazy. Zim looked at the ball of tape for a moment. Lola had said something about the bell telling her she was a florist, and she had taped its mouth shut. What if the ball of tape concealed the bell? If it rung, it might revert her to normal, or maybe semi-normal. Walking over to the door, he ripped off the ball of tape with a spider leg. The bell shook a little. Lola reacted. "Hey! You know what you just did? You just opened Pandora's Box, man! You get out right now or I'll let you have it, I'll…" Zim ran out of the store. He saw Gir had finished cleaning Doomy and they were doing the same thing they had before. Zim had a suspicion on what it was, and decided not to disturb them. He turned and reentered the store. The door swung, causing the bell to ring. "Oh! A customer!" Said Lola. She flew to the top of the counter, dropping her gun. "What can I get for you, stranger?"
"Uh…I'm looking for something in a nine-millimeter."
"Okay, here you go." Lola threw down a gun. "Would you like some baby's breath with that?"
"No thanks."
"Okay then, come again. And have a nice day, you hear me?" With a big, fake grin, Zim walked out the door, now with a gun.
One trek back through the sewer later…The Doom Wagon parked where it had before. Zim got off. He had disposed of the grinder, having no more need of it and not wanting to desecrate the agent's arm any further. He headed to the ladder and the corridor, and from there went up the stairs to the casino. It was everything a casino should be: big, bright, loud, and with lots of stupid people wasting their money on rigged games and slot machines. To Zim's right was a bathroom, and further down the wall was a gold elevator door guarded by none other than Duwop the Martian. Zim walked past the gamblers and slot machines, heading for the elevator. He cleared his throat, getting the Martian's attention. "Excuse me, I need to pass through."
Duwop shook his head. "Uh-uh. This elevator goes straight to Emperor Bog's penthouse office. Nobody goes in without an appointment."
"I have an appointment."
"Only important people have appointments with the Emperor."
"I'm an important person!"
"Then why are you wearing a parka?"
"Uh…"
"Come back when you get better clothes, Eskimo!"
Grumbling, Zim walked away. He needed a disguise more than ever now, a nice suit of some sort. He looked out among the crowd of people, trying to spot someone he could beat up and steal their clothes from. And that's when he saw a familiar mackerel pulling away at a nearby slot machine. Chowchilla Charlie. What was he doing here? He noticed Charlie was wearing a nice suit, though it was a bit small. Seriously, Charlie was actually a little shorter than Zim. Zim could easily beat up Charlie and take the suit, but the problem would be pulling him away from the slot machine, he looked really determined. Zim then noticed somebody standing behind Charlie, holding a bed sheet and looking a bit frustrated. She kept tugging on Charlie's shoulder, but he kept ignoring her. It was Rana! She had ditched the parka and was in her old uniform, which made her look even sexier to his eyes. He ran over to her. "Rana, what are you doing here?"
Rana blinked at him a second, not recognizing him because of the makeup. But she looked in his eyes for a moment, and recognition sparked. "Zim, that's some makeup!"
"Thanks. What are you doing here?"
"I'm trying to get you your disguise. I've convinced Charlie to accompany me to a toga party at the Romano Casino, but he refuses to leave until he wins on one of the slot machines."
"Well, what are the odds of him winning?"
"I've analyzed these slot machines. The odds of any of them paying off are 1,000,000:22."
He whistled. "That's ridiculous. Bog is one evil sonofabitch."
"Got that right. I know how to make Charlie win, but I can't do it while he's sitting here. But now that you've arrived, I can put my plan into action." She handed Zim the bed sheet. "Here, throw this on Charlie and hold him tight while I fix the machine."
"Why couldn't you do this before I showed up?"
"Because somebody needs to hold him while he's blinded. I can't do that and fix the machine at the same time, now can I?"
"Good point."
Zim threw the bed sheet over Charlie. "Huh? What's going on? Is that you, young lady?" he asked. As he struggled to get out of the sheet, Zim grabbed onto him, pulling the mackerel off the stool in front of the machine. Rana crawled beneath the seat and pushed open the payoff door, inserting her spider legs into the machine. As she fiddled with the mechanisms, the slot wheels started turning until all three of them had faces of Bog on them, indicating a big win. The payoff bin filled with coins. Rana retracted the spider legs and got out of the way. Zim freed Charlie and got out of view. Charlie shook his head and chuckled at Rana, who had positioned herself behind him again. "Young lady, I told you I would come with you when I win, you don't have to trap me." He got on the stool and saw the slots lined up. "Yes! Yes! I did it! I told you my system would pay off!" He picked up the cash. "Shall we go, then?" he asked to Rana, who put on a fake smile. She couldn't stand to even be near this sleaze bag.
She led him to the bathroom and gave him the bed sheet to change into. Zim met her outside the bathroom door. "He should leave the suit in one of the stalls, all you have to do is get it, go upstairs, and confront Bog."
"Right, I'll meet you at the monorail station with the tickets. There won't be one for me since I'm a star, not a new person like you, so you'll have to go by yourself."
"Don't worry, I'll tell that Gatekeeper everything. I'll make him help us!"
Zim paused. "You're not falling for Charlie, are you?"
She scowled. "What? What makes you think that?"
"Nothing, I just-"
"You're not jealous of him, are you?"
"What? Of course not!"
"Then why do you think I might be falling for him?"
"Well, because you're basically convincing him to strip to a bare sheet and take you to a party."
"The instant we're away from the casino, I intend to beat him up and leave him in a Dumpster. Satisfied?"
"Well, I would prefer you filet him, but a Dumpster's fine."
She smiled and leaned close. "You didn't really think I would go for another toon, did you? After all, you are the only one for me, Zim…"There was a moment of hesitation, and the two Irkens were kissing. At that moment, they could hear Charlie's flippers slapping the tiled floor of the bathroom. "Uh oh! Quick, hide!"
Charlie walked out of the bathroom, wearing only a toga that looked ridiculous on him. "Shall, we, my sweet?" he asked, offering a fin. Hiding a look of revulsion, Rana took it. "The Romano awaits. And when we get there, I have another infallible system I'd like to show you." They walked off, hand in hand, er, fin.
Zim walked into the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came out wearing Charlie's pinstripe suit over his uniform. That made for an even tighter fit, unfortunately. Stiffly, he walked over to Duwop. "Excuse me, I'm a very important person who has an appointment with Emperor Bog."
Even though he was supposed to let him through, Duwop didn't want to lose this conflict so easily. "If you have an appointment, then you must know a few personal things about my boss."
"What kind of logic is that?"
"My logic! Answer this question correctly, and you may pass. What are the odds in a million of any of these slot machines paying off?"
Zim grinned. This was an easy question. "22."
Duwop was taken aback. "Well, okay, but that's just ONE question…here's another-"
"Uh-uh, you said I could pass if I got the question right."
"Yes, but it was an easy one-"
"Hey, don't mess with me man, I know Emperor Bog." Reluctantly, Duwop let him through. Zim went up the elevator and found himself in a small waiting room with a monogrammed floor depicting Bog's ugly face. A well-dressed couple of dogs were sitting in some chairs, arguing. Ignoring them, Zim walked over to the golden doors of Bog's office and knocked on them.
One of the doors creaked open and Bog, who was only a little taller than Zim, peeked out. "Ah Mr. Lemans, I knew you would…what? Who are you?"
Reaching into the pod for his gun, Zim said, "I'm Inv-" Bog growled and slammed the door shut. "Well, that could have gone better."
"I'm sorry if the Emperor is in a grumpy mood, but he's angry at us because we can't make up our minds over the tickets." Said the well-dressed toon.
Zim looked at the couple, who were obviously rich and intending to buy Mega Rail tickets. Zim didn't know if they were good or not, but he saw he could use them to get to Bog. If he managed to convince them to buy the tickets, Bog might trust him long enough for Zim to sprout him. He walked over. "Hi, I'm Bog's agent. He sent me out here to answer your questions."
The wife started to ask something, but the man silenced her. "Hush, my dear. I'll handle this. Now, what can you tell me about these Mega Rail tickets?"
Zim thought he should try honesty, just in case. "It's a scam. The tickets are counterfeit. Take your money and run."
"Hohoho! Your reverse psychology can't work on me, my friend!"
With that out of the way, Zim tried more persuasive sales techniques. "The tickets are worth a mint because they save you a mint."
"Well I don't have a mint, so what's the difference?"
"Don't you think you're worth these tickets?"
"I know we're worth it, but are the tickets worth it?"
Zim tried several other sales pitches, all of them flopping. Desperate, he tried one last ploy. "Enough about you guys, let me tell you about my problems."
They got edgy. "Well, actually, we still have a lot of talking to do so-"
"This makeup feels horrible to my pores."
"Yes, but it brings out your string chin."
"I don't have a chin."
"Oh, never mind then."
"I can't lift my arms in this suit."
"Then you'd better hope nobody pulls a gun on you tonight, eh?" The dog joked.
Zim sighed. He had one last ploy. "I just got back from the worst vacation I've ever had."
"Actually, we just got back from quite a trip ourselves."
"Sure, you've seen flying spiders and flaming beavers, but trust me, it gets much worse!"
"It does?" asked the man, surprised.
"You'd better believe it! I've been to the edge of the world and back…"
Some time later, Zim had finished telling them a paraphrased version of his journeys through Nickworld, of falling into the water from a high cliff, of nearly getting shot to death by gangsters, of nearly being blown up in a boat, of nearly being eaten by sea monsters, of nearly falling into a near- bottomless abyss, of nearly getting ripped to shreds, and of almost freezing to death and being eaten by Yetis. When he was finished, the dogs were quite amazed. "I had no idea the Land of the Nicktoons was so fraught with peril!" said the male, impressed.
"Now, how much would you pay to skip the whole thing altogether?"
The man nodded. He looked to his wife. "Come darling, let us go blow our nest egg together." They got out of their seats and knocked on Bog's door. A moment later he peeked out. "Mr. Bog, we have decided to take you up on your generous offer."
Bog looked very pleased. "Ah, I knew you would come around! The little lady changed your mind, eh?" asked Bog as he opened the door wider so the dogs could step into his office.
"Actually, it was your agent out there." Said the female dog, pointing to Zim.
Bog started, surprised. "Wha-er-um-uh-oh yes, he's, uh, one of my best." Bog shut the door.
Zim patted himself on the back. "Yup, I've still got it."
A few moments later, Bog peeked out of the office door again. "Listen, I don't know who you are or what spell you've cast over the Lemans couple, but stick around. There's something across town I'd like to show you later that may be worth your while."
Later, across town… Bog had taken Zim to none other than the Nickelodeon building. The place was closed for the night, but Bog was able to get himself and Zim inside. As Bog led Zim through the corridors of the first floor, he was constantly talking, trying to convince Zim of something. "Am I talking about just a job here? Or am I talking about opportunity, in the general sense. We've had a lot of openings in this office over the last couple of months, and frankly we've had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team." Bog approached an office near the end of the hall and opened it, beckoning Zim inside. After a moment, he realized that he had been taken to his old office. "This could be your office." He headed over to a combination-locked cabinet that Zim did not remember ever having. As Bog started punching in the combination, Zim began to wipe off the makeup and take off the suit, leaving him in only his old uniform for the first time in a while. "You could star on your own show, or costar on one of the others. And as an added bonus…" Opening the cabinet, Bog took out the only content and turned around to show it to Zim. It was a very familiar-looking briefcase. Bog opened the suitcase, revealing the slightly vibrating golden Mega Rail tickets. "Two percent of these, Mr. Uh…what was your name again?"
Zim pulled out his gun and pointed it at Bog's head, surprising the villain. "My name's Zim, and I want a bigger cut."
While closing the suitcase in front of him, Bog secretly pushed a button on his belt, activating a beacon. He chuckled, knowing he had to distract Zim for a few minutes. "Oh, but Zim…I'm going to be needing most of these to get myself out of this world."
Zim knew he should just shoot Bog and get it over with, but his curiosity got the better of him. "What do you mean?"
"This world is fine for now, but I intend to move onto bigger things, bigger places. The real world in particular."
"How are the tickets supposed to help you get to the real world?"
"I plan to use them to blackmail the Gatekeeper. He is the one who opens the portals from this one to others, and is the only toon that can get me to the real world."
"How can the tickets be used as blackmail?"
"I've stolen from a lot of innocent toons over the years, Zim, forcing them to either walk all the way to the employment office or give up entirely. Now, wouldn't it be a crying shame if some nasty person burned all the tickets to ashes?"
Zim's purple blood chilled. "But what about those who do walk all the way? Won't they still get the jobs?"
"The Gatekeeper is bound by the rules set in place by the company, as am I in a sense, even though I now control Nickelodeon. He can only let a toon get employed if he or she gets there in the way they were meant to. If a toon was destined for a ride on the Mega Rail but never receives their ticket, then when he or she gets there the Gatekeeper denies them employment. If I destroy the tickets, they'll never get their rightful jobs."
Zim tightened his grip on the gun, finding himself more furious at this Martian than he had felt with Dib. This despicable being had twisted the lives of hundreds, no, thousands of people to get what he wanted. Many had died because of this one being. So many had had their destinies stolen by this one toon of unspeakable evil. "I'm going to deliver those tickets to their rightful owners…and I'm going to deliver you to the compost pile." He started to pull the trigger…when suddenly, a demon raven smashed through one of the windows, screeching. Panicking, Zim fired at the monster bird, sprouting it. When he turned around, he saw Bog had leapt out the other window and was running along the decorative ledge around the side of the building, still carrying the suitcase. Zim jumped out the window and ran after him. Bog turned a corner, almost falling off. He stopped, then pulled out a strange device from his belt. Aiming at a lower skyscraper, he squeezed the device, firing a cable at the building. The end of the cable was very sticky, and latched onto the rooftop of the building. As Zim got closer, Bog anchored the device to the ledge and leapt onto the cable, grinding down its length. (For those of you who don't know what grinding is, it's the art of riding down a rail or cable on a skateboard or with certain shoes. It's very dangerous to do if you're not a skilled professional. And unfortunately, it seems Bog is one.) Zim reached the cable in time to see Bog slide down it. Zim had normal boots, which would certainly not help him here. He extended two spider legs, forming a sort of loop over his head, and jumped off the ledge. His robotic limbs wrapped around the cable, allowing him to slide precariously down it. As he picked up speed, approaching Bog, the Martian reached the end of the cable, jumping onto the rooftop and running across it. This building happened to have one of those big motorized kicking ladies on it, and had a skyscraper of equal height right next to it, but not close enough to jump to. The lady's kicking leg was pretty close to the other skyscraper. Running across the roof, Bog jumped to the leg when it was as its lowest point, trying to rid it close to the other side. As the leg started reaching the top of its swing, the motor started to spark. The leg wasn't supposed to support any weight on it, and that included heavy-set Martians with suitcases. Bog threw the suitcase to the other roof, landing it safely. Just as he prepared to jump, the motor gave out and the leg came crashing back down to its lowest point. Bog lost his grip and fell to the street below. Zim ran over to the kicking lady. He saw a ladder leading up one of the metal supports behind the lady itself. With that, he could climb up and see if he could still get to the other side. At the top, he concluded that he couldn't. The leg was too low. If he could somehow get the lady to lose her support somewhat, the entire structure might tilt, allowing Zim to slide across to the tickets. He climbed back down and looked for anything that could help him. He saw that a gargoyle sticking out of the edge of the roof was supporting one of the lady's arms. Zim ran over to it and saw that the gargoyle already had a large crack in it from the weight of the arm. Getting his idea, Zim wedged his spider legs into the crack and started wiggling, widening the crack. The gargoyle and the lady started to lean a little. With one last shove, Zim managed to break the gargoyle's head off. With nothing to support her arm, the neon lady fell over, her leg now in the perfect position to get to the tickets. Climbing up the ladder, Zim slid down the showgirl's leg, making a leap and safe landing to the next rooftop, where the suitcase was lying, just begging to be collected.
Later…Zim opened the suitcase. The tickets shook as one of them, placed deeper into the suitcase, leapt out and flew into Rana's hand. "That one must be yours." Said Zim, stating the obvious. Zim, Gir and Rana were standing sat the bottom of the steps leading into the monorail station. Zim closed up the suitcase and handed it to Rana. "I'll wait here for you. By the time you get back, Bog will be gone for good, I'll get my show back, and we can truly stay together, with you on the show."
"You don't think the fall killed him?"
"Do you?"
"No, not really." She thought for a moment. "Zim, before I leave, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, for everyone. You are truly a great person."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are!" chirped Gir.
"Anyway, let me give you a sample of what you're gonna get when I return…"
As Gir shielded his eyes, Zim and Rana had a passionate farewell kiss. Once it was over, Rana walked away, a little sad. As she went up the escalator, Gir called after her. "Don't forget to send for help! And tell those other Sirs I said hi! And bring me back a present!"
Rana got off the escalator and walked over to the ticket booth. She could see the figure of the ticket master in the booth. As she approached, she suddenly noticed that the window of the booth was broken. This was the last thought to register as the figure in the booth, one of Bog's ravens, leapt out and attacked. Surprised, she screamed for help. Gir quickly ran up the escalator, Zim after him. As Rana swatted at the demon bird with the suitcase, it flew out of her hands and sailed into Zim, knocking him off the escalator and onto the sidewalk. As Gir assaulted the raven, trying to get it with his laser vision, Zim picked up the tickets and started for the stairs when a car drove up to the curb. The front window rolled down, revealing Olivia. "Get in, quick!"
Not sure what was going on, Zim opened the back door and jumped into the car, which started driving away. "We were supposed to have coverage back there! Where are all of Patrick's men?"
"I don't know. He hasn't told me yet." Said Olivia, throwing an object back into the seat next to Zim's.
Zim looked at the object and felt sick. It was Patrick's head. He felt even sicker when the head said, "Hello, Zim."
Zim gaped. "Patrick…what…how…you're a head…alive?"
Patrick coughed, which was surprising since he no longer had lungs. "If a starfish loses a limb, the limb stays alive for a while."
"But this is your head."
"Yeah, but it's really just the fifth arm of the starfish that my creator drew a face onto. The principle is still the same."
"How did this happen?"
"We were ambushed by Bog's men. Olivia betrayed us."
"What?!?"
"It's true, hon." Said Olivia.
"But-but why?"
"After I dumped Max a few months back, I signed up with Bog. Since I'm supposed to be a beatnik and revolutionary supporter, nobody suspected me."
"Where are you taking me?"
She cocked a sprouting gun. "You'll see. But on the way there, no talking or I shoot you, despite Bog's orders to bring you to him alive." Zim gulped.
After a fairly short drive from the city along a country road, the car pulled into a stop on a dirt road in the middle of a huge meadow taking up about an acre of land, full of flowers. The road turned into a path that led up a big hill to what looked like a greenhouse. A large pipe led from the greenhouse to a big rusty tank of water, supplying the plants in the greenhouse with life. Olivia got out of the car. "Come out, and leave your pod and the tickets behind." Since she kept the gun pointed at him, Zim didn't have much choice. Leaving the suitcase in the car and taking off his utility pod, he got out of the car. He looked around at the meadow, surprised by how many flowers there were and how there seemed to be no grass. Then he realized what this place really was.
"All these flowers…people Bog has sprouted?!?" Zim asked in shock. The entire acre was covered with flowers, and there were plenty of hills so that increased the total surface area by a huge amount. If the entire area was covered with people that Bog had killed personally…Zim felt sick again.
"Hey, when you're on top like my boyfriend Bog is, you get a lot of enemies." She motioned her gun at the greenhouse. "Get moving. He's waiting in there."
Zim frowned, not budging. "You know, you really have bad taste in men."
"No, I have a taste for really bad men. There's a difference. Now move it or you'll be joining the rest of the people here. Of course, you'll be doing that anyway."
Zim walked away from the car, heading up the long dirt path. He took note of the water tank feeding the greenhouse as he walked up. He finally reached the doors. Apprehensive, he opened the doors. The greenhouse had lots of tables with more growing flowers on them, each of them a sprouted individual. The sprinklers were on full blast, enriching the plants and making a sort of mist in the room. Since he could not generate a force field, Zim stayed in the entrance, where it was safe. Bog was only a few feet in front of him, pulling petals off a daisy. "She loves me…she loves me not…"
"Well, you're half right." Said Zim.
Looking up, Bog threw the daisy to the floor, squashing it with his boot. He shook his head, chuckling. "Oh Zim…so cynical…what happened to you, Zim, that caused you to lose your sense of hope, your love of life?"
"Well, let's see. I was fired, given the shaft for years, forced to go through a dangerous forest, nearly fall to my death, ventured into the ocean several times, got my jaw nearly broken by Dib, almost lost the woman I love, was forced to trek through an arctic wasteland fraught with Yetis, nearly got ripped to pieces by coral crushers, and you tried to sprout me a lot. Oh, did I forget to mention almost getting eaten by an albino crocodile?"
"I see, hm-hmm, I guess Dib was right, you don't have a shred of optimism."
Zim couldn't help making a joke. "Well, when it comes to shreds, Dib is the expert."
"And by that same logic, Zim, you're about to become an expert in botany." He turned his back to the Irken.
"Is this where you explain your motives and secret plan to me like any generic villain would? How you stole Mega Rail tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in an attempt to get out of Nickworld, and more importantly, why you want to get out of Nickworld?"
"No." said Bog, whipping around with a gun and shooting Zim with a single bullet, right in the chest. Zim gasped and ripped the bullet out, but it was too late. The bullet had already injected the lethal chemical into his body. "This is where you writhe in excruciating pain for about an hour because that bimbo Lola ran off with all the fast-acting Sproutella. This slow stuff WILL sprout you, but it's going to take a long time, I'm afraid to say, and hurt a million times worse than it would with a normal dose of Sproutella." Zim staggered, the pain already wracking his body. Half- stumbling, half-running, Zim made it out the door, going down the hillside. Bog looked out after him. "Zim? Where are you going? You've got some time, you know, before you have to…leave. Hahaha! Get it? Leave! Hahaha!"
Too busy hurting to pay attention to Bog's bad jokes, Zim staggered forward a few steps, trying to reach the car, until it became too much. A single bluebell grew from the spot where the bullet had hit him. And then the pain really began. Unable to even scream, Zim stumbled, falling on his back amidst the flowers, atop the dead, soon to join them, another member of Bog's collection. Zim lay on the ground gasping, finding it hard to breathe. He tried to move, and found he could not. I cannot even begin to describe the pain he was experiencing, only that it was so bad he wished he could die just to stop the pain. If only he had his pod! He still had the bottle of liquid nitrogen from Toto's, one spray and the flower and the roots digging through his flesh and bones would be gone. But it was in his pod, and he would never reach it now. As Zim lay there, his mind reeling and threatening to shut down utterly from the pain, Zim seemed to be teetering on a line between life and death. He was ever so slowly leaning towards death. As he was about to fall, a voice rang out in his head, startling him and regaining his balance. The voice was his own, that of his conscience. Hey! What do you think you're doing?
I'm dying, what does it look like I'm doing?
You can't just up and die! What would everyone think? What would Vasquez think?
Who cares? Just make it stop…
You are the only one who can stop the pain. Take control, rip the flower and the roots from your body before they spread to far!
I can't. I'm so weak.
That's the Sproutella talking! Pull out the flower!
I can't…
DO IT!
I already told you, I can't!
What kind of talk is that for a soldier, for an Invader?
I'm not an Invader, I just play one.
Bullshit! Could any regular Irken have done what you have accomplished? Look at everything you've done! You allowed Gir to find somebody he loves. You got to Rana before Dib did, putting off her capture and setting the scene for her rescue. You helped the LTA take root, giving them the power they needed to stand up to Bog. You became owner of a nightclub, captain of a ship. You allowed the Seabees to get better rights and a more fair union. You avenged Laura's death, sort of. You survived the depths of the ocean, the most hazardous environment to our kind, at least half a dozen times! You regained Rana's trust and freed all the poor people Dib and Bog had imprisoned on that desolate atoll. You killed Dib, saving all of those people again. You took them all the way to the employment office, where they are now, still waiting for their tickets. You saved Gir's life. You freed Lola from Bog's clutches. You recovered the tickets from Bog and almost defeated him. You earned the love of the woman you were destined for. No ordinary cartoon could have done all this. Do you think Tak, Tenn, Skoodge, Laars, Spleem, or even Red and Purple could have done this well? You have truly earned the title of Invader, Zim. You are Vasquez's ultimate creation, and you're just going to let some lousy CGI Martian from a crappy show kill you? You have too much to live for! What about all the fans, who are constantly mourning your second cancellation and the news that you will never be aired again, not even in reruns? What about Gir, who will never see his Master again if you just give up? What about Patrick, who put so much faith and trust in you? What about Laura, watching from the heavens? How do you think she would feel about you quitting when you wouldn't stop for her? What about the cast from the show, who looked up to you because they thought you were so cool? What about Dib, laughing away at this down in Hell? Do you want him to get any pleasure from your pain? What about the people you freed, the ones waiting at the employment office? Do you want them to lose hope and eventually fade away, never receiving their tickets and depriving the viewers of good shows? What about Rana, who loves you more than life itself and is worrying over you right now? Do you want to break her heart?
No…no, no!
Then do it! Pull out the slarking flower! Fight the poison, get up, and take down Bog! Avenge all the people who you are lying on top of right now! Avenge Patrick! Avenge Laura! Avenge everyone who has died because of Bog! Do it for her!!!!!!
Zim lifted an arm, clutching the flower, shaking from the pain. He gripped the flower with his claw and started pulling. The pain got a thousand times worse. Biting his serpentine tongue, Zim pulled, trying to ignore the warning signals from his brain. With a battle cry, he ripped the flower, roots and all, from his chest. The scream echoed throughout the meadow, causing the villains to chuckle, thinking they had finally won. Panting and taking deep, ragged breaths, Zim threw the flower away. He grasped his chest, which was bleeding from the hole caused by pulling out the flower. Trying to staunch the purple flow, he got to his feet. The wound hurt, but it felt like a mere cut compared to the flower that had been growing in him. Feeling better, he walked towards the car, not sure why, but knowing he had to get there. He got to the car and saw Olivia was behind the trunk, sorting through the case of tickets. "Come on, I know one of you must be mine. Shake it, baby!" Zim shook his head in disgust at the feline. Moving quietly, he looked into the open door of the backseat, hoping his pod was in there. It wasn't. Patrick's head was, though, still alive for the time being.
"Patrick?" he whispered quietly.
Patrick groaned and opened his eyes. "Zim…I heard the scream…I thought you were dead…"
"No, but Bog came pretty close."
"I see you are hurt. Zim, listen carefully. There are medical supplies and a gun in the trunk. The keys are in the ignition. Use them to fix yourself up and take down Bog once and for all. And please…tell Sandy that she will make a good leader for the LTA and that I am sorry we could not be together in this lifetime."
"Right!"
"I am also sorry to say that this is the last time we shall speak, Zim. For when I bite this explosive tooth filled with Sproutella, the resulting spray will sprout me and hopefully my enemy."
"Your enemy? What do you-"
"Hey, what's going on there?" asked Olivia, getting up.
"Farewell, my friend!" Patrick said.
Olivia walked over, gun pointed at Zim, motioning him away from the car. "What were you talking about with the 'head' of the LTA here?" Still pointing the gun at Zim, she pulled Patrick's head from the car and leered over it. "What's wrong, Pat? Got something you want to say to the rest of the class?"
"Only one thing…Viva la Revolucion!" Patrick bit down on the tooth, spraying Olivia and himself with Sproutella.
Olivia screamed and dropped Patrick and the gun as the begonias started blooming from her face. Screeching, she ran into the meadow, clawing at her face until the flowers overtook her and she fell, dead. Patrick was already just another patch of flowers by the time he had hit the ground. Zim clenched his fists, shedding a tear. He went to the front seat, sliding in and reaching for the ignition. He paused for a second, thinking. He could leave right now. The tickets were just behind the car, all he had to do was pick them up, get in the car, and drive back to the city, leaving this place of death behind. They would board the Mega Rail, give the tickets to the Gatekeeper, and get help. He could do it right now. He could just turn the keys and not look back. He grabbed the keys and pulled them from the ignition. He was not going to run away. As his conscience had said, he was an Invader, for real or not. And a soldier never left a mission uncompleted. Bog was going to get it. He was going to pay for everything he had done. He unlocked the trunk. Inside was a first aid kit, a gun, and a lot of ammo. After using the first aid kit to patch himself up, Zim loaded the gun. He only needed one more thing before he confronted his foe. He walked over to the suitcase and closed it, grabbing his utility pod, which Olivia had taken out of the car with the case. He put the pod in place, feeling slightly reassured, as it was one with him once again. He looked at the gun in his hand. He was NOT going back into the greenhouse. But he was a little too scared to shoot through the glass with either the gun or with his spider legs, for fear of missing and getting shot at with another dose of Sproutella. His eyes fell on the tank of water. And he saw Bog's downfall right before him. He walked over to the tank and fired five bullets into it, sending the Sproutella through the pipe and into the sprinklers, hopefully showering Bog with the deadly substance. A moment later, he could hear screams from the greenhouse, getting louder and louder for several seconds before finally stopping altogether. Knowing he had to check to make sure he was really dead, Zim walked up the path to the greenhouse. As he prepared to open the doors, he readied his gun, just in case. He reached for the knob…suddenly, there was some kind of explosion from inside, showering the glass doors with red, green and yellow liquid, along with a bunch of leaves. Backing away from the doors, Zim saw a mass of plants ease a little way through the doors, stopping. The mass was wearing a high-tech belt. Zim through down the gun and walked away. The Emperor was dead. Long live the Emperor.
The next day…The Mega Rail rocketed down the track, approaching the employment office. As the slow sign started swinging back and forth, the Gatekeeper woke up from his nap, seeing the approaching train. He sighed, expecting another round of bad people. So it was a great surprise to him when the monorail pulled into the station, otherwise known as waiting area one. Within moments, Gir, Rana, and Zim were standing before the Gatekeeper with the suitcase. Zim opened it, letting the golden glow shine out. "Here they are, the missing tickets." Said Zim.
"You can count them if you want, they're all there." Added Rana.
"They glow like a moose!" yelled Gir. Everyone stared at him. "Uh, I'll go play with the mechanics, 'kay?" He ran down the stairs.
The Gatekeeper accepted the suitcase. "Excellent. I will make sure the ones belonging to those scattered about the land receive their tickets. Rana, you and the others from waiting area two may get your jobs now." Smiling, Rana walked into the station again. The former miners and the children would pass through a separate door. The Gatekeeper looked down at Zim. "Zim, I perceive that you have changed since last you were here. You seem stronger, surer of yourself. Tell me, how are things now that Bog is dead?"
"How do you know this…never mind. Things have gone extraordinarily well. The company has been restored to its former glory under the leadership of a new owner/president/CEO. All the cancelled shows (except for stupid ones like Ren and Stimpy) have been restored and will get new episodes, the bad shows like As Told By Ginger and Rocket Power have been cancelled, along with Butt Ugly Martians. My show is back in production, and a new episode will be airing this Friday. The fans will be thrilled. Bog's weapons manufacturer is in serious therapy, but she'll be fine. The Lost Toon's Alliance has become the subject of a new show, but I can't tell you about it or I'll spoil it for you. A memorial is being put up for Patrick and all the others who have died because of Bog. Gir is getting married."
"Oh really, to who?" the mouse asked interested.
"His car."
"His car?"
"Yes."
"Well, what about yourself? Where is your relationship with Rana going?"
"Well, I'm not sure how it will be for the shows, but off the set…well, let's just say we'll be mimicking Gir soon enough."
"Will I get invited to the wedding?"
"When I get around to planning it. Oh, by the way, I have an order for you. When somebody asks you an important question, don't give a strange, confusing answer."
The Gatekeeper chuckled. "Well, I would except you're not my boss and can't give me orders."
Zim grinned. "Who says I'm not?"
The Gatekeeper stopped laughing. "Come again?"
"When I said the company was under the leadership of a new person, I didn't say who the person was."
The Gatekeeper paled, which was quite a sight to see considering he was already white of fur. "You-you don't mean…" Zim smiled and nodded. "YOU?!?"
A klaxon sounded. The monorail was ready to leave. Zim quickly got Gir and boarded the train with Rana and the others, leaving the stunned Gatekeeper behind. As the three sat in a private compartment, a cheerful mood filled the air. Gir was happy because he always found trouble being sad thanks to his defective programming, he was on a vehicle with a really cool engine, and he was getting married to Doomy.
Rana was happy because she had finally found peace after about a year of turmoil, and she had received one of the best jobs a toon can get, a costar, meaning she got her own office and everything. There was also the little fact that she was sitting right next to the love of her life, and would be staying with him forever.
Zim was happy because after seemingly losing everything he could possibly lose, he bounced back up. He had survived everything the Land of the Nicktoons could throw at him, even getting sprouted. His show was back, his fans were happy, he had become a true hero, and also gotten the best job he could possibly get in the entire line of television broadcast. He had won the girl of his dreams, and would get married to her forthwith. Once he would have thought being this happy was bad, because something would always ruin it, but he had rejected that kind of thinking a while ago. He was on top of the world. There was nothing, absolutely nothing that could spoil his life now. He looked out the window for a moment. The clouds outside seemed to swirl, forming the sneering faces of Bog and Dib, hatred visible in their eyes. He smiled and closed the window shade, blocking them out. On a whim, he sent Gir out of the room to eat at the buffet. Once the childish robot was gone, the lovers started to get into a certain action that required no clothing. They had a full four hours until they got to Nick City, and they intended to enjoy every one of them.
THE END
And so our tale ends. I hope you enjoyed the ride while it lasted. And I hope one of you has read the Ultimate Invader. If not, I suggest you do so. It is the only other Zim fic I've written, and I am as proud of it as I am proud of this. And I have one final teaser before I go. A new fic might be coming up soon. "Might" being the key word. But be warned…if I do write this next fic, it will be a dark one. It will have a happy ending of sorts, but the majority of the tale will be rife with angst and misery. So enjoy this happy ending as the Zim in this tale enters a new life of hope and love, while the Zim in my next fic will not…yet. Please read and review, and stand by for the next tale. Until then, I bid you farewell…
Zim and Rana were not completely sure what to do to help. Zim got an idea and turned to her. "Rana, I need to get up to Bog. I'll need a disguise so I can get close to him, and a gun so we'll have something to talk about when we get there."
"If you figure out the gun part, I'll get you a disguise. Of course, it would be good if I knew where Bog's hideout is."
"His casino tower is directly above these headquarters. There's a secret passage outside that'll take you there." Said Sandy.
"Right, I'll meet you there." Rana said, walking out the door.
"Hmm…volunteers quickly for dangerous service, intelligent, a good spirit…she could be of great aid to the cause." Said Sandy.
"To me, she is the cause. Who was the guy whose photograph was just thrown away?"
"That was our agent in Bog's lab, the guy you saw get sprouted on camera."
Zim looked at all the pigeons and a thought occurred to him. "Hey, how were all the messengers you guys sent me able to find me no matter where I was?"
"It's a cool ability we found out they had soon after hatching. All we have to do is give a pigeon a letter and show it a photograph of the guy we want to send it to and off it goes."
"That is cool. Hey, whatever happened to Little Zim and Little Rana? Are they in here?"
"No, they're on delivery right now. You know, it's kind of funny, but soon after hatching, they started mating with one another."
"Heh, just like their namesakes."
"What was that?"
"Uh, nothing. Mind if I take a look at the cameras again?"
"Knock yourself out."
Zim looked through the same camera as before. The purple hummingbird Bog had berated before was now nervously tending some flowers. "Who's the bird?"
"Remember Lola from Catdog?"
"Yeah."
"You're looking at her."
"What's she doing working for Bog?"
"She's his Sproutella manufacturer. Of course, this is kind of a problem for her."
"Why?"
"She's a hummingbird. Hummingbirds fly around fields, pollinating flowers. They love flowers. Lola even got a side job as a florist before the takeover. But now her creations are being used to kill people. As a result, she is fairly…conflicted."
"Why doesn't she make guns for our side?'
"We've been trying to get to her for months, but her lab is in the tower above us. And you've already seen the result of our latest attempt to reach her."
Zim suddenly got an idea of how to get Lola out of the tower. He took out the scary letter Bog has sent him and gave it to a random pigeon. He then went to the trashcan and fished out the photograph of the dead toon, and showed it to the pigeon. After memorizing the guy's face, the pigeon flapped its wings and took off, heading for the exit. "Go, fly, fly like the wind!" He went back to the monitor to watch what would happen next.
The pigeon landed in the window behind Lola, looking around confusedly, trying to find its target. Lola did not see the bird and kept tending the flowers. A shadow appeared behind the pigeon, who did not notice. The shadow was that of a demon raven with an Irken head, which landed on the window ledge right behind the poor pigeon and immediately ate it, eagerly devouring the pigeon's flesh, and ended up with the note hanging from its bottom teeth. Hearing the noise of the pigeon's bones being cracked, Lola spun around. She got even more nervous. "One of Bog's messengers…with a m-m-message for me?" Flying over to the window, she pulled the note from the raven's mouth and read it. "'I know what you're up to. Stay there, I'm coming to sprout you myself! Yours truly, Emperor Bog.'" Lola gasped. "I knew it! I knew he was out to get me the whole time." Flying back to her worktable, Lola grabbed a gun and several canisters of Sproutella, shoving them all into a sack. She flew over to a poster on the wall. "You'll never find my secret hideout, Bog. You're going to have to find yourself another florist!" She flew through the poster, sliding down a tube and falling through a hatch and ending up in a chamber relatively close to the LTA headquarters. She flew down a passageway, not noticing that one of her cans had sprung a leak and was dripping a dilute trail of Sproutella behind her.
Zim stepped away from the monitor. "Wow, that worked better than I had hoped!"
"What did?"
"I just scared Lola out of her wits and caused her to jump to somewhere down in the catacombs."
Sandy stared at Zim in shock. "I don't believe it! You accomplish in only a few minutes what it's taken us months to try and fail at?"
"Yes."
"Patrick was right. You are worthy of the title of special agent." She went back to work.
Zim thought he might need something to help him follow the trail of Sproutella. He noticed that the sprouted beetle corpse on the floor wasn't completely sprouted, one arm was still flower-free. Thinking it might come in handy, Zim pulled the arm from the body and stuffed it in his utility pod. Zim left the headquarters, ready to go looking for Lola. After climbing down a small ladder, he found himself in the eerie depths of the catacombs. He immediately ran into Gir and Doomy, who were parked right outside the headquarters entrance, and they were doing something weird. Gir seemed to be plugged into Doomy for some reason and was making strange sounds. "Gir, what are you doing?"
"Ack!" said Doomy and Gir. They quickly retracted their cables. "Uh, nothing Master." Said Gir quickly.
"Yeah, nothing." Said Doomy.
Zim frowned. "Whatever. Just don't do whatever it is you're doing while I'm around, okay?"
"Okay."
Zim walked away from the car, finding himself in the large chamber Lola had dropped into. There was a small puddle of Sproutella on the floor, and a few drops scattered here and there leading into a side passage. Zim followed the drops and found himself at an intersection of many passages. The trail had vanished, so Zim wasn't sure which way to go. He sighed and turned around, hoping he would find a way to rediscover the trail later. He could try brushing the beetle arm against the floor, but then he would lose his only tool to finding the trail. Walking back into the main chamber, he saw a ladder leading to a passage high up the wall. Zim climbed up the ladder and found himself in a corridor. Halfway down the corridor was a set of stairs leading to a door marked, "Casino." Since Zim didn't have even part of a disguise yet, he knew he would have to wait to go in there. There was another ladder at the end of the corridor. He walked down and climbed up. He was surprised to find himself on the backstage of a theater. There were props lying around haphazardly, a hot plate with a pot of coffee, a small set of stairs leading to the dressing rooms, a ladder against the wall that led up to a snow making machine, and two figures leaning against the wall near the ladder, chatting. They were both lizards, and wearing ridiculous makeup and costumes. He walked over to the lizards. "Hi, what's going on here?"
"Oh, we're the latest members of the Johnny Thunder Review." Said one of the lizards.
"Where can I get makeup like that?"
"Well, you would have to be a Thunderboy like us, wouldn't you?" said the other lizard.
"Of course, it's too late for you to try out for a part, we just got the last two roles." Said the first lizard.
"Better luck next season." Said the other. As Zim turned away, he heard the stupid lizards snickering at him. Zim knew he needed a disguise to get into Bog's hideout, and he thought makeup would be the first step. He needed a way to get rid of those two clowns. Fortunately, he had a plan.
He grabbed the pot of coffee and climbed up to the catwalk with the snow maker. He poured the coffee through the slots in the catwalk, right above one of the lizards, melting his makeup. The lizard gasped. "You-you poured coffee on me!"
"What? No I didn't!"
"Don't deny it! You were trying to ruin my makeup, envious of my skill! And now you have! I'm ruined! How could you, after I took you under my wing?" The lizard ran off sobbing.
The other followed him, yelling, "Wait, that's not it at all!"
Chuckling, Zim went into the dressing room and immediately got his face covered in ugly makeup. Fortunately, it was easy to wipe off if he ever needed to. He would now be able to walk around without being recognized, but he wasn't ready to go to the casino. He still didn't have a gun. He was about to leave when he took another look at the big snow machine. Wanting to take a closer look, he climbed up the ladder. He saw that the machine was really more of a chute than an actual maker. The grinder that turned the chunks of Styrofoam into smaller bits looked handheld. Zim grabbed the handle of the grinder and picked it up. It was handheld. Zim suddenly realized he had his means to follow the trail of Sproutella using the beetle arm without wasting it. He stuck the arm into the grinder. Now, whenever he turned the thing on, it would grind up part of the arm and spit it out, causing the little flakes to land wherever he aimed them, hopefully revealing the trail of Sproutella. He put the object in his pod and climbed back down the ladder, then returned to the catacombs. He climbed all the way back down to the main chamber and walked down the passage, ending up at the intersection. Taking out the grinder, Zim ground up a little arm, spraying the chips in front of him. Nothing. He walked up to the entrance to each passage and tried again. Nothing happened, until he reached the last passage. The arm chips hit the ground and immediately turned green, little blossoms sprouting. This was the way to go! Unfortunately, the passage was too dark to venture down by himself. He would need some strong lights. And he knew just where to find them.
After convincing Doomy and Gir to help him navigate the dark catacombs, they ventured down the tunnel, using the grinder and the Doom Wagon's headlights to follow the passage. Winding their way through the maze of passages and tunnels, following a trail of sproutella until they reached one long, large passage that led straight to what looked like a flower shop. It was out of place, but obviously Lola's hideout. "Hey Master, what's that?" asked Gir, pointing in the direction of the flower shop.
"That must be the florist's hideout!"
"No, I think my lover meant the thing coming right toward us." Said Doomy.
"What thing coming right for us?" A giant albino crocodile loomed into view, roaring loud enough to shake the entire tunnel. "Oh, THAT thing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim ran behind the vehicle and climbed into the top chair where he would be safe. Gir quickly lowered a force field over the driver's seat, protecting him from the monster. The crocodile roared and charged, slamming into the Doom Wagon, trying to get to Zim, the only meat it could smell. "Doomy, quick, give me gun control!" the targeting display and triggers popped up in front of Zim.
Aiming at the mouth of the crocodile, Zim fired the laser cannons at point blank, causing them to be propelled several feet backwards as the crocodile exploded, showering the Doom Wagon with green blood and chunks of skin. The force fields kept Zim and Gir from getting dirty, but the same cannot be said for Doomy. "Oh no! I'm indecent! Don't look at me!" she wailed.
Gir got out of his seat. "Don't worry, I'll clean you!"
"I'll just leave you two alone, okay? I've got stuff to do." Zim jumped down from the throne as Gir pulled cleaning supplies from a hatch in the side of the Doom Wagon. Gingerly stepping around the puddle of stuff that was all that remained of the crocodile, Zim walked up to the flower shop, noting that the flower baskets in the front windows were sprouted toons. Shuddering, he walked into the store. It looked just like a normal flower shop, except that all the displays had sprouted toons in them. It was eerie. What looked like a ball of tape was screwed to the wall in the doorjamb. There was a large stack of crates filled with Sproutella in the back of the room. Lola was hiding underneath the counter, quivering, her eyes darting over the place, keeping a tight grip on her gun. She started babbling something, hearing him come in. Zim kept quiet, wanting to hear what she said, hoping for any clues.
"Bog? Bog, is that you? You'd better back off, man! I mean it, I'm not feeling too rosy! I'm having…I feel…I'm thinking I'd better…things are gonna change around here! Yeah, man…who, who, who do you think you're fooling? I love plants, is that so wrong? Plants are beautiful! You people, you think plants are death! Plants are life! You all, you're all death! You're all the same! If people were plants, the world would be a better place! I could make everybody into plants! I've got enough juice right here to turn the world GREEN! I've got half a mind to…I got half a mind…what? I didn't say anything of the kind? Where do you get off? What can I do to get you to take me seriously? I look at you and I see a garden waiting to happen! What you haven't seen, you haven't seen the MEADOW. You want to take a walk in the MEADOW, punk? And then he says to me, you'll get BENEFITS! I need to…that's not helping! Plants don't kill! You want life within death, Bog? Is that what you want? Everybody lies, even the bell! Ding ding! Can I help you, can I help you? CAN I HELP YOU! CAN I FRIGGIN' HELP YOU DING, DING, DING?! Would you like some baby's breath with that? The little bell told me, I'm a florist. I AM NOT A FLORIST! I AM A MANUFACTURER OF WEAPONS! It's like people, there are good plants and there are bad plants…DING! DING! You're going to drive me crazy! Tape your mouth shut, you're not gonna tell no more lies! I'll fertilize your short carcass! I'll take-what did you say?"
Okay, Lola had obviously gone nuts. Carefully, Zim walked into sight of Lola. She looked very nervous, a wreck. He spoke calmly and quietly, as if to an animal. "It isn't Bog, it's me, Zim. Remember me? We both used to work for Nick? We had that cool party to celebrate my reinstatement after the first cancellation and you gave me that nice ficus?"
Lola twitched, then mimicked a distorted version of what he had just said. "It isn't Bog, it's Zim come to sprout ya!"
"Listen Lola, I'm not here to hurt you."
"Listen Lola, I'm here to hurt you."
"Look, I just need a gun so I can put Bog out of business."
"Look, I need a gun…I need Bog…we're in business!"
"Listen, I really need that gun…" Lola wasn't listening anymore. Had she ever been listening in the first place? He walked over to the crates of Sproutella and examined them. "Lots of Sproutella you got here."
"Yeah, the good stuff too, not like that slow-acting fern food I left Bog." Seeing how unstable Lola seemed, Zim decided it would be a good idea to just take some Sproutella and leave. As he was about to open a crate, Lola flew out from the counter. "What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!? Get back!" She started pointing the gun at Zim. Frightened, he backed off. Lola flew back under the counter and wailed "Put your hands in the air, put your hands on your head, put your head in your lap!" Yes, Lola was definitely crazy. Zim looked at the ball of tape for a moment. Lola had said something about the bell telling her she was a florist, and she had taped its mouth shut. What if the ball of tape concealed the bell? If it rung, it might revert her to normal, or maybe semi-normal. Walking over to the door, he ripped off the ball of tape with a spider leg. The bell shook a little. Lola reacted. "Hey! You know what you just did? You just opened Pandora's Box, man! You get out right now or I'll let you have it, I'll…" Zim ran out of the store. He saw Gir had finished cleaning Doomy and they were doing the same thing they had before. Zim had a suspicion on what it was, and decided not to disturb them. He turned and reentered the store. The door swung, causing the bell to ring. "Oh! A customer!" Said Lola. She flew to the top of the counter, dropping her gun. "What can I get for you, stranger?"
"Uh…I'm looking for something in a nine-millimeter."
"Okay, here you go." Lola threw down a gun. "Would you like some baby's breath with that?"
"No thanks."
"Okay then, come again. And have a nice day, you hear me?" With a big, fake grin, Zim walked out the door, now with a gun.
One trek back through the sewer later…The Doom Wagon parked where it had before. Zim got off. He had disposed of the grinder, having no more need of it and not wanting to desecrate the agent's arm any further. He headed to the ladder and the corridor, and from there went up the stairs to the casino. It was everything a casino should be: big, bright, loud, and with lots of stupid people wasting their money on rigged games and slot machines. To Zim's right was a bathroom, and further down the wall was a gold elevator door guarded by none other than Duwop the Martian. Zim walked past the gamblers and slot machines, heading for the elevator. He cleared his throat, getting the Martian's attention. "Excuse me, I need to pass through."
Duwop shook his head. "Uh-uh. This elevator goes straight to Emperor Bog's penthouse office. Nobody goes in without an appointment."
"I have an appointment."
"Only important people have appointments with the Emperor."
"I'm an important person!"
"Then why are you wearing a parka?"
"Uh…"
"Come back when you get better clothes, Eskimo!"
Grumbling, Zim walked away. He needed a disguise more than ever now, a nice suit of some sort. He looked out among the crowd of people, trying to spot someone he could beat up and steal their clothes from. And that's when he saw a familiar mackerel pulling away at a nearby slot machine. Chowchilla Charlie. What was he doing here? He noticed Charlie was wearing a nice suit, though it was a bit small. Seriously, Charlie was actually a little shorter than Zim. Zim could easily beat up Charlie and take the suit, but the problem would be pulling him away from the slot machine, he looked really determined. Zim then noticed somebody standing behind Charlie, holding a bed sheet and looking a bit frustrated. She kept tugging on Charlie's shoulder, but he kept ignoring her. It was Rana! She had ditched the parka and was in her old uniform, which made her look even sexier to his eyes. He ran over to her. "Rana, what are you doing here?"
Rana blinked at him a second, not recognizing him because of the makeup. But she looked in his eyes for a moment, and recognition sparked. "Zim, that's some makeup!"
"Thanks. What are you doing here?"
"I'm trying to get you your disguise. I've convinced Charlie to accompany me to a toga party at the Romano Casino, but he refuses to leave until he wins on one of the slot machines."
"Well, what are the odds of him winning?"
"I've analyzed these slot machines. The odds of any of them paying off are 1,000,000:22."
He whistled. "That's ridiculous. Bog is one evil sonofabitch."
"Got that right. I know how to make Charlie win, but I can't do it while he's sitting here. But now that you've arrived, I can put my plan into action." She handed Zim the bed sheet. "Here, throw this on Charlie and hold him tight while I fix the machine."
"Why couldn't you do this before I showed up?"
"Because somebody needs to hold him while he's blinded. I can't do that and fix the machine at the same time, now can I?"
"Good point."
Zim threw the bed sheet over Charlie. "Huh? What's going on? Is that you, young lady?" he asked. As he struggled to get out of the sheet, Zim grabbed onto him, pulling the mackerel off the stool in front of the machine. Rana crawled beneath the seat and pushed open the payoff door, inserting her spider legs into the machine. As she fiddled with the mechanisms, the slot wheels started turning until all three of them had faces of Bog on them, indicating a big win. The payoff bin filled with coins. Rana retracted the spider legs and got out of the way. Zim freed Charlie and got out of view. Charlie shook his head and chuckled at Rana, who had positioned herself behind him again. "Young lady, I told you I would come with you when I win, you don't have to trap me." He got on the stool and saw the slots lined up. "Yes! Yes! I did it! I told you my system would pay off!" He picked up the cash. "Shall we go, then?" he asked to Rana, who put on a fake smile. She couldn't stand to even be near this sleaze bag.
She led him to the bathroom and gave him the bed sheet to change into. Zim met her outside the bathroom door. "He should leave the suit in one of the stalls, all you have to do is get it, go upstairs, and confront Bog."
"Right, I'll meet you at the monorail station with the tickets. There won't be one for me since I'm a star, not a new person like you, so you'll have to go by yourself."
"Don't worry, I'll tell that Gatekeeper everything. I'll make him help us!"
Zim paused. "You're not falling for Charlie, are you?"
She scowled. "What? What makes you think that?"
"Nothing, I just-"
"You're not jealous of him, are you?"
"What? Of course not!"
"Then why do you think I might be falling for him?"
"Well, because you're basically convincing him to strip to a bare sheet and take you to a party."
"The instant we're away from the casino, I intend to beat him up and leave him in a Dumpster. Satisfied?"
"Well, I would prefer you filet him, but a Dumpster's fine."
She smiled and leaned close. "You didn't really think I would go for another toon, did you? After all, you are the only one for me, Zim…"There was a moment of hesitation, and the two Irkens were kissing. At that moment, they could hear Charlie's flippers slapping the tiled floor of the bathroom. "Uh oh! Quick, hide!"
Charlie walked out of the bathroom, wearing only a toga that looked ridiculous on him. "Shall, we, my sweet?" he asked, offering a fin. Hiding a look of revulsion, Rana took it. "The Romano awaits. And when we get there, I have another infallible system I'd like to show you." They walked off, hand in hand, er, fin.
Zim walked into the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came out wearing Charlie's pinstripe suit over his uniform. That made for an even tighter fit, unfortunately. Stiffly, he walked over to Duwop. "Excuse me, I'm a very important person who has an appointment with Emperor Bog."
Even though he was supposed to let him through, Duwop didn't want to lose this conflict so easily. "If you have an appointment, then you must know a few personal things about my boss."
"What kind of logic is that?"
"My logic! Answer this question correctly, and you may pass. What are the odds in a million of any of these slot machines paying off?"
Zim grinned. This was an easy question. "22."
Duwop was taken aback. "Well, okay, but that's just ONE question…here's another-"
"Uh-uh, you said I could pass if I got the question right."
"Yes, but it was an easy one-"
"Hey, don't mess with me man, I know Emperor Bog." Reluctantly, Duwop let him through. Zim went up the elevator and found himself in a small waiting room with a monogrammed floor depicting Bog's ugly face. A well-dressed couple of dogs were sitting in some chairs, arguing. Ignoring them, Zim walked over to the golden doors of Bog's office and knocked on them.
One of the doors creaked open and Bog, who was only a little taller than Zim, peeked out. "Ah Mr. Lemans, I knew you would…what? Who are you?"
Reaching into the pod for his gun, Zim said, "I'm Inv-" Bog growled and slammed the door shut. "Well, that could have gone better."
"I'm sorry if the Emperor is in a grumpy mood, but he's angry at us because we can't make up our minds over the tickets." Said the well-dressed toon.
Zim looked at the couple, who were obviously rich and intending to buy Mega Rail tickets. Zim didn't know if they were good or not, but he saw he could use them to get to Bog. If he managed to convince them to buy the tickets, Bog might trust him long enough for Zim to sprout him. He walked over. "Hi, I'm Bog's agent. He sent me out here to answer your questions."
The wife started to ask something, but the man silenced her. "Hush, my dear. I'll handle this. Now, what can you tell me about these Mega Rail tickets?"
Zim thought he should try honesty, just in case. "It's a scam. The tickets are counterfeit. Take your money and run."
"Hohoho! Your reverse psychology can't work on me, my friend!"
With that out of the way, Zim tried more persuasive sales techniques. "The tickets are worth a mint because they save you a mint."
"Well I don't have a mint, so what's the difference?"
"Don't you think you're worth these tickets?"
"I know we're worth it, but are the tickets worth it?"
Zim tried several other sales pitches, all of them flopping. Desperate, he tried one last ploy. "Enough about you guys, let me tell you about my problems."
They got edgy. "Well, actually, we still have a lot of talking to do so-"
"This makeup feels horrible to my pores."
"Yes, but it brings out your string chin."
"I don't have a chin."
"Oh, never mind then."
"I can't lift my arms in this suit."
"Then you'd better hope nobody pulls a gun on you tonight, eh?" The dog joked.
Zim sighed. He had one last ploy. "I just got back from the worst vacation I've ever had."
"Actually, we just got back from quite a trip ourselves."
"Sure, you've seen flying spiders and flaming beavers, but trust me, it gets much worse!"
"It does?" asked the man, surprised.
"You'd better believe it! I've been to the edge of the world and back…"
Some time later, Zim had finished telling them a paraphrased version of his journeys through Nickworld, of falling into the water from a high cliff, of nearly getting shot to death by gangsters, of nearly being blown up in a boat, of nearly being eaten by sea monsters, of nearly falling into a near- bottomless abyss, of nearly getting ripped to shreds, and of almost freezing to death and being eaten by Yetis. When he was finished, the dogs were quite amazed. "I had no idea the Land of the Nicktoons was so fraught with peril!" said the male, impressed.
"Now, how much would you pay to skip the whole thing altogether?"
The man nodded. He looked to his wife. "Come darling, let us go blow our nest egg together." They got out of their seats and knocked on Bog's door. A moment later he peeked out. "Mr. Bog, we have decided to take you up on your generous offer."
Bog looked very pleased. "Ah, I knew you would come around! The little lady changed your mind, eh?" asked Bog as he opened the door wider so the dogs could step into his office.
"Actually, it was your agent out there." Said the female dog, pointing to Zim.
Bog started, surprised. "Wha-er-um-uh-oh yes, he's, uh, one of my best." Bog shut the door.
Zim patted himself on the back. "Yup, I've still got it."
A few moments later, Bog peeked out of the office door again. "Listen, I don't know who you are or what spell you've cast over the Lemans couple, but stick around. There's something across town I'd like to show you later that may be worth your while."
Later, across town… Bog had taken Zim to none other than the Nickelodeon building. The place was closed for the night, but Bog was able to get himself and Zim inside. As Bog led Zim through the corridors of the first floor, he was constantly talking, trying to convince Zim of something. "Am I talking about just a job here? Or am I talking about opportunity, in the general sense. We've had a lot of openings in this office over the last couple of months, and frankly we've had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team." Bog approached an office near the end of the hall and opened it, beckoning Zim inside. After a moment, he realized that he had been taken to his old office. "This could be your office." He headed over to a combination-locked cabinet that Zim did not remember ever having. As Bog started punching in the combination, Zim began to wipe off the makeup and take off the suit, leaving him in only his old uniform for the first time in a while. "You could star on your own show, or costar on one of the others. And as an added bonus…" Opening the cabinet, Bog took out the only content and turned around to show it to Zim. It was a very familiar-looking briefcase. Bog opened the suitcase, revealing the slightly vibrating golden Mega Rail tickets. "Two percent of these, Mr. Uh…what was your name again?"
Zim pulled out his gun and pointed it at Bog's head, surprising the villain. "My name's Zim, and I want a bigger cut."
While closing the suitcase in front of him, Bog secretly pushed a button on his belt, activating a beacon. He chuckled, knowing he had to distract Zim for a few minutes. "Oh, but Zim…I'm going to be needing most of these to get myself out of this world."
Zim knew he should just shoot Bog and get it over with, but his curiosity got the better of him. "What do you mean?"
"This world is fine for now, but I intend to move onto bigger things, bigger places. The real world in particular."
"How are the tickets supposed to help you get to the real world?"
"I plan to use them to blackmail the Gatekeeper. He is the one who opens the portals from this one to others, and is the only toon that can get me to the real world."
"How can the tickets be used as blackmail?"
"I've stolen from a lot of innocent toons over the years, Zim, forcing them to either walk all the way to the employment office or give up entirely. Now, wouldn't it be a crying shame if some nasty person burned all the tickets to ashes?"
Zim's purple blood chilled. "But what about those who do walk all the way? Won't they still get the jobs?"
"The Gatekeeper is bound by the rules set in place by the company, as am I in a sense, even though I now control Nickelodeon. He can only let a toon get employed if he or she gets there in the way they were meant to. If a toon was destined for a ride on the Mega Rail but never receives their ticket, then when he or she gets there the Gatekeeper denies them employment. If I destroy the tickets, they'll never get their rightful jobs."
Zim tightened his grip on the gun, finding himself more furious at this Martian than he had felt with Dib. This despicable being had twisted the lives of hundreds, no, thousands of people to get what he wanted. Many had died because of this one being. So many had had their destinies stolen by this one toon of unspeakable evil. "I'm going to deliver those tickets to their rightful owners…and I'm going to deliver you to the compost pile." He started to pull the trigger…when suddenly, a demon raven smashed through one of the windows, screeching. Panicking, Zim fired at the monster bird, sprouting it. When he turned around, he saw Bog had leapt out the other window and was running along the decorative ledge around the side of the building, still carrying the suitcase. Zim jumped out the window and ran after him. Bog turned a corner, almost falling off. He stopped, then pulled out a strange device from his belt. Aiming at a lower skyscraper, he squeezed the device, firing a cable at the building. The end of the cable was very sticky, and latched onto the rooftop of the building. As Zim got closer, Bog anchored the device to the ledge and leapt onto the cable, grinding down its length. (For those of you who don't know what grinding is, it's the art of riding down a rail or cable on a skateboard or with certain shoes. It's very dangerous to do if you're not a skilled professional. And unfortunately, it seems Bog is one.) Zim reached the cable in time to see Bog slide down it. Zim had normal boots, which would certainly not help him here. He extended two spider legs, forming a sort of loop over his head, and jumped off the ledge. His robotic limbs wrapped around the cable, allowing him to slide precariously down it. As he picked up speed, approaching Bog, the Martian reached the end of the cable, jumping onto the rooftop and running across it. This building happened to have one of those big motorized kicking ladies on it, and had a skyscraper of equal height right next to it, but not close enough to jump to. The lady's kicking leg was pretty close to the other skyscraper. Running across the roof, Bog jumped to the leg when it was as its lowest point, trying to rid it close to the other side. As the leg started reaching the top of its swing, the motor started to spark. The leg wasn't supposed to support any weight on it, and that included heavy-set Martians with suitcases. Bog threw the suitcase to the other roof, landing it safely. Just as he prepared to jump, the motor gave out and the leg came crashing back down to its lowest point. Bog lost his grip and fell to the street below. Zim ran over to the kicking lady. He saw a ladder leading up one of the metal supports behind the lady itself. With that, he could climb up and see if he could still get to the other side. At the top, he concluded that he couldn't. The leg was too low. If he could somehow get the lady to lose her support somewhat, the entire structure might tilt, allowing Zim to slide across to the tickets. He climbed back down and looked for anything that could help him. He saw that a gargoyle sticking out of the edge of the roof was supporting one of the lady's arms. Zim ran over to it and saw that the gargoyle already had a large crack in it from the weight of the arm. Getting his idea, Zim wedged his spider legs into the crack and started wiggling, widening the crack. The gargoyle and the lady started to lean a little. With one last shove, Zim managed to break the gargoyle's head off. With nothing to support her arm, the neon lady fell over, her leg now in the perfect position to get to the tickets. Climbing up the ladder, Zim slid down the showgirl's leg, making a leap and safe landing to the next rooftop, where the suitcase was lying, just begging to be collected.
Later…Zim opened the suitcase. The tickets shook as one of them, placed deeper into the suitcase, leapt out and flew into Rana's hand. "That one must be yours." Said Zim, stating the obvious. Zim, Gir and Rana were standing sat the bottom of the steps leading into the monorail station. Zim closed up the suitcase and handed it to Rana. "I'll wait here for you. By the time you get back, Bog will be gone for good, I'll get my show back, and we can truly stay together, with you on the show."
"You don't think the fall killed him?"
"Do you?"
"No, not really." She thought for a moment. "Zim, before I leave, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, for everyone. You are truly a great person."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are!" chirped Gir.
"Anyway, let me give you a sample of what you're gonna get when I return…"
As Gir shielded his eyes, Zim and Rana had a passionate farewell kiss. Once it was over, Rana walked away, a little sad. As she went up the escalator, Gir called after her. "Don't forget to send for help! And tell those other Sirs I said hi! And bring me back a present!"
Rana got off the escalator and walked over to the ticket booth. She could see the figure of the ticket master in the booth. As she approached, she suddenly noticed that the window of the booth was broken. This was the last thought to register as the figure in the booth, one of Bog's ravens, leapt out and attacked. Surprised, she screamed for help. Gir quickly ran up the escalator, Zim after him. As Rana swatted at the demon bird with the suitcase, it flew out of her hands and sailed into Zim, knocking him off the escalator and onto the sidewalk. As Gir assaulted the raven, trying to get it with his laser vision, Zim picked up the tickets and started for the stairs when a car drove up to the curb. The front window rolled down, revealing Olivia. "Get in, quick!"
Not sure what was going on, Zim opened the back door and jumped into the car, which started driving away. "We were supposed to have coverage back there! Where are all of Patrick's men?"
"I don't know. He hasn't told me yet." Said Olivia, throwing an object back into the seat next to Zim's.
Zim looked at the object and felt sick. It was Patrick's head. He felt even sicker when the head said, "Hello, Zim."
Zim gaped. "Patrick…what…how…you're a head…alive?"
Patrick coughed, which was surprising since he no longer had lungs. "If a starfish loses a limb, the limb stays alive for a while."
"But this is your head."
"Yeah, but it's really just the fifth arm of the starfish that my creator drew a face onto. The principle is still the same."
"How did this happen?"
"We were ambushed by Bog's men. Olivia betrayed us."
"What?!?"
"It's true, hon." Said Olivia.
"But-but why?"
"After I dumped Max a few months back, I signed up with Bog. Since I'm supposed to be a beatnik and revolutionary supporter, nobody suspected me."
"Where are you taking me?"
She cocked a sprouting gun. "You'll see. But on the way there, no talking or I shoot you, despite Bog's orders to bring you to him alive." Zim gulped.
After a fairly short drive from the city along a country road, the car pulled into a stop on a dirt road in the middle of a huge meadow taking up about an acre of land, full of flowers. The road turned into a path that led up a big hill to what looked like a greenhouse. A large pipe led from the greenhouse to a big rusty tank of water, supplying the plants in the greenhouse with life. Olivia got out of the car. "Come out, and leave your pod and the tickets behind." Since she kept the gun pointed at him, Zim didn't have much choice. Leaving the suitcase in the car and taking off his utility pod, he got out of the car. He looked around at the meadow, surprised by how many flowers there were and how there seemed to be no grass. Then he realized what this place really was.
"All these flowers…people Bog has sprouted?!?" Zim asked in shock. The entire acre was covered with flowers, and there were plenty of hills so that increased the total surface area by a huge amount. If the entire area was covered with people that Bog had killed personally…Zim felt sick again.
"Hey, when you're on top like my boyfriend Bog is, you get a lot of enemies." She motioned her gun at the greenhouse. "Get moving. He's waiting in there."
Zim frowned, not budging. "You know, you really have bad taste in men."
"No, I have a taste for really bad men. There's a difference. Now move it or you'll be joining the rest of the people here. Of course, you'll be doing that anyway."
Zim walked away from the car, heading up the long dirt path. He took note of the water tank feeding the greenhouse as he walked up. He finally reached the doors. Apprehensive, he opened the doors. The greenhouse had lots of tables with more growing flowers on them, each of them a sprouted individual. The sprinklers were on full blast, enriching the plants and making a sort of mist in the room. Since he could not generate a force field, Zim stayed in the entrance, where it was safe. Bog was only a few feet in front of him, pulling petals off a daisy. "She loves me…she loves me not…"
"Well, you're half right." Said Zim.
Looking up, Bog threw the daisy to the floor, squashing it with his boot. He shook his head, chuckling. "Oh Zim…so cynical…what happened to you, Zim, that caused you to lose your sense of hope, your love of life?"
"Well, let's see. I was fired, given the shaft for years, forced to go through a dangerous forest, nearly fall to my death, ventured into the ocean several times, got my jaw nearly broken by Dib, almost lost the woman I love, was forced to trek through an arctic wasteland fraught with Yetis, nearly got ripped to pieces by coral crushers, and you tried to sprout me a lot. Oh, did I forget to mention almost getting eaten by an albino crocodile?"
"I see, hm-hmm, I guess Dib was right, you don't have a shred of optimism."
Zim couldn't help making a joke. "Well, when it comes to shreds, Dib is the expert."
"And by that same logic, Zim, you're about to become an expert in botany." He turned his back to the Irken.
"Is this where you explain your motives and secret plan to me like any generic villain would? How you stole Mega Rail tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in an attempt to get out of Nickworld, and more importantly, why you want to get out of Nickworld?"
"No." said Bog, whipping around with a gun and shooting Zim with a single bullet, right in the chest. Zim gasped and ripped the bullet out, but it was too late. The bullet had already injected the lethal chemical into his body. "This is where you writhe in excruciating pain for about an hour because that bimbo Lola ran off with all the fast-acting Sproutella. This slow stuff WILL sprout you, but it's going to take a long time, I'm afraid to say, and hurt a million times worse than it would with a normal dose of Sproutella." Zim staggered, the pain already wracking his body. Half- stumbling, half-running, Zim made it out the door, going down the hillside. Bog looked out after him. "Zim? Where are you going? You've got some time, you know, before you have to…leave. Hahaha! Get it? Leave! Hahaha!"
Too busy hurting to pay attention to Bog's bad jokes, Zim staggered forward a few steps, trying to reach the car, until it became too much. A single bluebell grew from the spot where the bullet had hit him. And then the pain really began. Unable to even scream, Zim stumbled, falling on his back amidst the flowers, atop the dead, soon to join them, another member of Bog's collection. Zim lay on the ground gasping, finding it hard to breathe. He tried to move, and found he could not. I cannot even begin to describe the pain he was experiencing, only that it was so bad he wished he could die just to stop the pain. If only he had his pod! He still had the bottle of liquid nitrogen from Toto's, one spray and the flower and the roots digging through his flesh and bones would be gone. But it was in his pod, and he would never reach it now. As Zim lay there, his mind reeling and threatening to shut down utterly from the pain, Zim seemed to be teetering on a line between life and death. He was ever so slowly leaning towards death. As he was about to fall, a voice rang out in his head, startling him and regaining his balance. The voice was his own, that of his conscience. Hey! What do you think you're doing?
I'm dying, what does it look like I'm doing?
You can't just up and die! What would everyone think? What would Vasquez think?
Who cares? Just make it stop…
You are the only one who can stop the pain. Take control, rip the flower and the roots from your body before they spread to far!
I can't. I'm so weak.
That's the Sproutella talking! Pull out the flower!
I can't…
DO IT!
I already told you, I can't!
What kind of talk is that for a soldier, for an Invader?
I'm not an Invader, I just play one.
Bullshit! Could any regular Irken have done what you have accomplished? Look at everything you've done! You allowed Gir to find somebody he loves. You got to Rana before Dib did, putting off her capture and setting the scene for her rescue. You helped the LTA take root, giving them the power they needed to stand up to Bog. You became owner of a nightclub, captain of a ship. You allowed the Seabees to get better rights and a more fair union. You avenged Laura's death, sort of. You survived the depths of the ocean, the most hazardous environment to our kind, at least half a dozen times! You regained Rana's trust and freed all the poor people Dib and Bog had imprisoned on that desolate atoll. You killed Dib, saving all of those people again. You took them all the way to the employment office, where they are now, still waiting for their tickets. You saved Gir's life. You freed Lola from Bog's clutches. You recovered the tickets from Bog and almost defeated him. You earned the love of the woman you were destined for. No ordinary cartoon could have done all this. Do you think Tak, Tenn, Skoodge, Laars, Spleem, or even Red and Purple could have done this well? You have truly earned the title of Invader, Zim. You are Vasquez's ultimate creation, and you're just going to let some lousy CGI Martian from a crappy show kill you? You have too much to live for! What about all the fans, who are constantly mourning your second cancellation and the news that you will never be aired again, not even in reruns? What about Gir, who will never see his Master again if you just give up? What about Patrick, who put so much faith and trust in you? What about Laura, watching from the heavens? How do you think she would feel about you quitting when you wouldn't stop for her? What about the cast from the show, who looked up to you because they thought you were so cool? What about Dib, laughing away at this down in Hell? Do you want him to get any pleasure from your pain? What about the people you freed, the ones waiting at the employment office? Do you want them to lose hope and eventually fade away, never receiving their tickets and depriving the viewers of good shows? What about Rana, who loves you more than life itself and is worrying over you right now? Do you want to break her heart?
No…no, no!
Then do it! Pull out the slarking flower! Fight the poison, get up, and take down Bog! Avenge all the people who you are lying on top of right now! Avenge Patrick! Avenge Laura! Avenge everyone who has died because of Bog! Do it for her!!!!!!
Zim lifted an arm, clutching the flower, shaking from the pain. He gripped the flower with his claw and started pulling. The pain got a thousand times worse. Biting his serpentine tongue, Zim pulled, trying to ignore the warning signals from his brain. With a battle cry, he ripped the flower, roots and all, from his chest. The scream echoed throughout the meadow, causing the villains to chuckle, thinking they had finally won. Panting and taking deep, ragged breaths, Zim threw the flower away. He grasped his chest, which was bleeding from the hole caused by pulling out the flower. Trying to staunch the purple flow, he got to his feet. The wound hurt, but it felt like a mere cut compared to the flower that had been growing in him. Feeling better, he walked towards the car, not sure why, but knowing he had to get there. He got to the car and saw Olivia was behind the trunk, sorting through the case of tickets. "Come on, I know one of you must be mine. Shake it, baby!" Zim shook his head in disgust at the feline. Moving quietly, he looked into the open door of the backseat, hoping his pod was in there. It wasn't. Patrick's head was, though, still alive for the time being.
"Patrick?" he whispered quietly.
Patrick groaned and opened his eyes. "Zim…I heard the scream…I thought you were dead…"
"No, but Bog came pretty close."
"I see you are hurt. Zim, listen carefully. There are medical supplies and a gun in the trunk. The keys are in the ignition. Use them to fix yourself up and take down Bog once and for all. And please…tell Sandy that she will make a good leader for the LTA and that I am sorry we could not be together in this lifetime."
"Right!"
"I am also sorry to say that this is the last time we shall speak, Zim. For when I bite this explosive tooth filled with Sproutella, the resulting spray will sprout me and hopefully my enemy."
"Your enemy? What do you-"
"Hey, what's going on there?" asked Olivia, getting up.
"Farewell, my friend!" Patrick said.
Olivia walked over, gun pointed at Zim, motioning him away from the car. "What were you talking about with the 'head' of the LTA here?" Still pointing the gun at Zim, she pulled Patrick's head from the car and leered over it. "What's wrong, Pat? Got something you want to say to the rest of the class?"
"Only one thing…Viva la Revolucion!" Patrick bit down on the tooth, spraying Olivia and himself with Sproutella.
Olivia screamed and dropped Patrick and the gun as the begonias started blooming from her face. Screeching, she ran into the meadow, clawing at her face until the flowers overtook her and she fell, dead. Patrick was already just another patch of flowers by the time he had hit the ground. Zim clenched his fists, shedding a tear. He went to the front seat, sliding in and reaching for the ignition. He paused for a second, thinking. He could leave right now. The tickets were just behind the car, all he had to do was pick them up, get in the car, and drive back to the city, leaving this place of death behind. They would board the Mega Rail, give the tickets to the Gatekeeper, and get help. He could do it right now. He could just turn the keys and not look back. He grabbed the keys and pulled them from the ignition. He was not going to run away. As his conscience had said, he was an Invader, for real or not. And a soldier never left a mission uncompleted. Bog was going to get it. He was going to pay for everything he had done. He unlocked the trunk. Inside was a first aid kit, a gun, and a lot of ammo. After using the first aid kit to patch himself up, Zim loaded the gun. He only needed one more thing before he confronted his foe. He walked over to the suitcase and closed it, grabbing his utility pod, which Olivia had taken out of the car with the case. He put the pod in place, feeling slightly reassured, as it was one with him once again. He looked at the gun in his hand. He was NOT going back into the greenhouse. But he was a little too scared to shoot through the glass with either the gun or with his spider legs, for fear of missing and getting shot at with another dose of Sproutella. His eyes fell on the tank of water. And he saw Bog's downfall right before him. He walked over to the tank and fired five bullets into it, sending the Sproutella through the pipe and into the sprinklers, hopefully showering Bog with the deadly substance. A moment later, he could hear screams from the greenhouse, getting louder and louder for several seconds before finally stopping altogether. Knowing he had to check to make sure he was really dead, Zim walked up the path to the greenhouse. As he prepared to open the doors, he readied his gun, just in case. He reached for the knob…suddenly, there was some kind of explosion from inside, showering the glass doors with red, green and yellow liquid, along with a bunch of leaves. Backing away from the doors, Zim saw a mass of plants ease a little way through the doors, stopping. The mass was wearing a high-tech belt. Zim through down the gun and walked away. The Emperor was dead. Long live the Emperor.
The next day…The Mega Rail rocketed down the track, approaching the employment office. As the slow sign started swinging back and forth, the Gatekeeper woke up from his nap, seeing the approaching train. He sighed, expecting another round of bad people. So it was a great surprise to him when the monorail pulled into the station, otherwise known as waiting area one. Within moments, Gir, Rana, and Zim were standing before the Gatekeeper with the suitcase. Zim opened it, letting the golden glow shine out. "Here they are, the missing tickets." Said Zim.
"You can count them if you want, they're all there." Added Rana.
"They glow like a moose!" yelled Gir. Everyone stared at him. "Uh, I'll go play with the mechanics, 'kay?" He ran down the stairs.
The Gatekeeper accepted the suitcase. "Excellent. I will make sure the ones belonging to those scattered about the land receive their tickets. Rana, you and the others from waiting area two may get your jobs now." Smiling, Rana walked into the station again. The former miners and the children would pass through a separate door. The Gatekeeper looked down at Zim. "Zim, I perceive that you have changed since last you were here. You seem stronger, surer of yourself. Tell me, how are things now that Bog is dead?"
"How do you know this…never mind. Things have gone extraordinarily well. The company has been restored to its former glory under the leadership of a new owner/president/CEO. All the cancelled shows (except for stupid ones like Ren and Stimpy) have been restored and will get new episodes, the bad shows like As Told By Ginger and Rocket Power have been cancelled, along with Butt Ugly Martians. My show is back in production, and a new episode will be airing this Friday. The fans will be thrilled. Bog's weapons manufacturer is in serious therapy, but she'll be fine. The Lost Toon's Alliance has become the subject of a new show, but I can't tell you about it or I'll spoil it for you. A memorial is being put up for Patrick and all the others who have died because of Bog. Gir is getting married."
"Oh really, to who?" the mouse asked interested.
"His car."
"His car?"
"Yes."
"Well, what about yourself? Where is your relationship with Rana going?"
"Well, I'm not sure how it will be for the shows, but off the set…well, let's just say we'll be mimicking Gir soon enough."
"Will I get invited to the wedding?"
"When I get around to planning it. Oh, by the way, I have an order for you. When somebody asks you an important question, don't give a strange, confusing answer."
The Gatekeeper chuckled. "Well, I would except you're not my boss and can't give me orders."
Zim grinned. "Who says I'm not?"
The Gatekeeper stopped laughing. "Come again?"
"When I said the company was under the leadership of a new person, I didn't say who the person was."
The Gatekeeper paled, which was quite a sight to see considering he was already white of fur. "You-you don't mean…" Zim smiled and nodded. "YOU?!?"
A klaxon sounded. The monorail was ready to leave. Zim quickly got Gir and boarded the train with Rana and the others, leaving the stunned Gatekeeper behind. As the three sat in a private compartment, a cheerful mood filled the air. Gir was happy because he always found trouble being sad thanks to his defective programming, he was on a vehicle with a really cool engine, and he was getting married to Doomy.
Rana was happy because she had finally found peace after about a year of turmoil, and she had received one of the best jobs a toon can get, a costar, meaning she got her own office and everything. There was also the little fact that she was sitting right next to the love of her life, and would be staying with him forever.
Zim was happy because after seemingly losing everything he could possibly lose, he bounced back up. He had survived everything the Land of the Nicktoons could throw at him, even getting sprouted. His show was back, his fans were happy, he had become a true hero, and also gotten the best job he could possibly get in the entire line of television broadcast. He had won the girl of his dreams, and would get married to her forthwith. Once he would have thought being this happy was bad, because something would always ruin it, but he had rejected that kind of thinking a while ago. He was on top of the world. There was nothing, absolutely nothing that could spoil his life now. He looked out the window for a moment. The clouds outside seemed to swirl, forming the sneering faces of Bog and Dib, hatred visible in their eyes. He smiled and closed the window shade, blocking them out. On a whim, he sent Gir out of the room to eat at the buffet. Once the childish robot was gone, the lovers started to get into a certain action that required no clothing. They had a full four hours until they got to Nick City, and they intended to enjoy every one of them.
THE END
And so our tale ends. I hope you enjoyed the ride while it lasted. And I hope one of you has read the Ultimate Invader. If not, I suggest you do so. It is the only other Zim fic I've written, and I am as proud of it as I am proud of this. And I have one final teaser before I go. A new fic might be coming up soon. "Might" being the key word. But be warned…if I do write this next fic, it will be a dark one. It will have a happy ending of sorts, but the majority of the tale will be rife with angst and misery. So enjoy this happy ending as the Zim in this tale enters a new life of hope and love, while the Zim in my next fic will not…yet. Please read and review, and stand by for the next tale. Until then, I bid you farewell…
