Phantasmagoria

By: ShinigamiForever



Warnings: Slash. Strangeness. Utter randomness, at sometimes, and just… well… me.

Pairings: Harry/Draco, Seamus/Dean, Fred/George, Ron/Hermione… um… some others I might just throw at you later.

Summary: Wherein Fate thinks it's amusing to constantly place Harry and Draco in rather compromising situations. Wherein Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Dean and some others decide to play match maker for the two. Wherein the seventh year ends up to be rather catastrophic. A Harry/Draco production.

Chapter Summary: Draco and Harry recover from their all nighter. Harry learns the hard way that while half-baked rumors are annoying, full blown ones are even worse. Gryffindor and Slytherin go ballistic as the waves of a new rumor start to crash against their shores. Denial is hell.

Disclaimer: Do you see Draco snogging Harry in any of the Harry Potter books? No? Well, then, they obviously don't belong to me, do they?

A/N: I know this is long in coming. Well. It took me some time (major understatement there). Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first two chapters. You guys are all so supportive! *hugs everyone*



Chapter 3: What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You, Unless Everyone Else Finds Out First



What boggled the teachers and students so much was that there was indeed an order to how Harry-rumors, as they were called, get started.

It goes like this: If there is something odd or gossipy about Harry, Ron is usually the first to know. From then own, someone in Harry's dorm, either Neville, Seamus, or Dean, will know. If it is Neville, all is well. Nothing will happen. If it is Dean, everything is relatively well, unless Seamus demands to know, upon which Dean will immediately divulge the rumor to Seamus. If Seamus finds out, Harry is doomed. It's that simple.

Relationships between the houses were widely known too. Gryffindors were absolute enemies with Slytherins, the Draco/Harry enmity being the epitome of that conflict. However, Gryffindors were on very good terms with Hufflepuffs (except for the incident of the Chamber of Secrets) and on decent terms with Ravenclaws.

Hufflepuffs were, of course, friends with Gryffindors. They were somewhat shunned by Ravenclaws, although still on speaking terms; however, they too were on feudal territory with Slytherins. Ravenclaws were the only friends with Slytherins and on neutral grounds with everyone else. Slytherins were their own self -contained group, except with Ravenclaws.

Going back to Seamus. Once Seamus knows, the entire Gryffindor common room will know within the course of 5 minutes. For the next 10 minutes, the rumor gets stretched and passed from mouth to mouth until the entire Gryffindor house knows. From there, Hufflepuffs would be notified, then Ravenclaws, and then Slytherins.

Which was of course why at 7:00 AM, everyone knew about Harry and Draco's detention, and the rather questionable situation (at least, to Ron) was confirmed as a scandalous affair between the two most eligible bachelors of Hogwarts.

Harry and Draco were blissfully asleep for another hour.

***

It was usual for people to stare at him when he entered the Great Hall. Especially for first years to do so, and especially on the first day of school. But it was getting way too ridiculous that morning. He felt almost the entire population of the school goggling at him as he walked in. Inaudible whispers followed him as he walked over to where Ron, Hermione, and the other Gryffindors were seated.

"What's going on?" he immediately asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

"Harry!" Seamus said, enthusiastically pointing a fork at his direction. "Why didn't you ever tell us about it?"

"About what?"

"You know! IT! The thing everyone's talking about!"

"You're not making any sense," he replied, annoyed. Dean calmly threw a strawberry at Seamus' direction. The Irish boy began to sputter indignantly and pelted his boyfriend with other various fruits.

"What Seamus means to say," Dean explained, ignoring the grapes coming in his direction, "is, why didn't you ever tell us about your relationship with Draco Malfoy?"

"My… what?" Harry asked, thoroughly confused. The entire Gryffindor table had gone quiet, waiting for his answer. "That I hate him? Don't you guys know that already?"

"Aw… Harry, don't play innocent!" Seamus cut in, halting in his fruit barrage. "You know what we mean!"

"No, I don't! Would you guys all stop talking nonsense!" Harry demanded.

Ron spoke up beside him, face red. "Hermione and I… uh… dropped in on your detention yesterday."

"Yes? And?"

"Well… you know."

"I don't know! What?"

"Come on, Harry!" Seamus cajoled, leaning forward on his elbows. "You can tell us. How was he?"

Harry got up and stalked very firmly towards the Slytherin table. To his surprise, he found Draco in the same situation as he was, surrounded by a group of Slytherin boys and girls demanding answers from him. Slamming his hands on the table, he managed to catch Draco's attention, as well as the attention from everyone in the room, including the staff.

"Will you tell me what is going on!"

"I was going to ask you that!"

"Malfoy, something is going around about us two and I want to know what it is!"

"You're the genius boy, Potter! You tell me what's going on!" Draco had risen until he was the same height as Harry, face mere inches from his opponent. In the distance, someone jeered and whistled.

"A lover's quarrel, no?" came a catcall, followed by yells of similar vein. Harry briefly thought he heard Fred's voice saying one of them.

"Lover's…?" Draco's voice trailed off in horror as Harry suddenly understood the content behind the statement.

"You don't mean…" he backed away from Draco, eyes widening in a mad sweep around the room.

"No. It can't be. Potter, what did you do that could have given them that impression?"

"Me? I've done nothing! You're the one that likes to play with sexual innuendoes!"

"Me?! Who was it yesterday-" then cut off, understanding dawning like a lightening bolt.

"Yesterday. Detention. Oh gods, no." Harry closed his eyes, replaying the events of their detention in his head, seeing the rather innocent comments they had made in a completely new light.

"Potter-" Draco made a movement as if to strangle him, but suddenly Dumbledore was next to them, one hand on each of their shoulders.

"I'm sorry, but love dramas must be postponed until classes start at nine o'clock." He raised a benevolent hand to their protest, a glimmer behind his half-moon glasses. "Now, boys, why don't you sit down and finish your breakfast? The sausages are extremely good."

The headmaster proceeded to lead Harry back to his table where he unceremoniously pushed Harry into a chair, chuckling.

Harry spent the next 40 some minutes desperately trying to ignore the goading comments made by the rest of the room. His only consolation was that Draco was going through the same thing.

***

"Harry?"

"Shut up," he replied through gritted teeth, walking down the hallway. Ron had to jog a little to catch up with his long strides. Hermione, looking as worried as always, trailed silently behind.

"Look, Harry-"

"Ron, haven't you done enough? The entire school now thinks Malfoy and I are an- an item!"

"Look, Harry, I'm sorry. Okay?" Ron's voice sounded small and meek, pathetic in a way, but it always worked with Harry. Whenever Ron put on that wheedling voice, he always gave in.

"It's all right. I guess it would have sounded… uh… wrong from outside." He laughed ruefully, slowing down a little.

"But you're not really…" Hermione ventured, embarrassed. Harry whipped his head around to look at her, shocked.

"Hermione! Of course not!"

"Well," she added hastily, "I was just curious. Because you two would look cute together-"

"Hermione!" Ron gaped. "That's disgusting!"

"Well, they would!"

"I don't believe this!" Harry said, both amused and outraged. "My own best friend."





A/N: This chapter was supposed to be quite a bit longer. In fact, I was even working on the next section. However, I was stuck, and it was taking way too long, so anyway, there it was. Now, on to the next part…

Summary of Next Chapter: Harry and Draco finally agree on something: Snape is a slimy git. Furthermore, Potions become even more unbearable, for Slytherins and Gryffindors alike. Dumbledore and McGonagall have a little chat.