Disclaimer: Same as on front

Hello all, back for chapter 2, and guess what? Everyone guessed correctly! What a smart bunch of readers I have! Oh, and yeah, Viv is really bitchy. I've never had a bitch as my main character before and I gotta tell ya: it's kind of fun. LoL Hope you enjoy it.



"Every day,

it's as if I play a part…"

Ch- 2 What to do with you.

The man stood the moment he saw her. "Get away from me!" she screeched. She slowly backed up until her body hit the wall.

"Calm down, 'm lady, I won't hurt you."

Vivienne wrinkled her nose. 'M Lady? It was then that she noticed what her intruder was wearing: flowing red velvet robes, with his long brown hair was crowned with a silver ring. Vivienne's heartbeat quickened. Not only was he a psycho, he was a cross-dressing psycho.

"Don't touch me, you cross-dressing freak! I'm calling the cops." Vivienne inched along the wall, her had reaching frantically for the phone on the end table.

The man looked down at his clothing, then stared in confusion at Vivienne. "Cross… dressing…?" he said slowly. "I've heard of cross bows, but never this 'cross-dressing' of which you speak."

Vivienne stopped dead on the wall. What was up with this guy? Either he was a really good actor or…

"You know," she explained, "cross-dressing. When a man wears women's clothing."

The man suddenly stamped his indignantly. "I beg your pardon?" he cried, "These are the finest crafted robes in Rivendell." He opened then to reveal a long gray tunic over gray leggings which ended in brown leather boots.

Vivienne's muscles relaxed. If the man wanted to rape her, he probably would have done so by now. Plus, she could see that he was unarmed. "Where in hell is Rivendell?"

"Rivendell is not in 'hell'." He said the word hell as though he'd never heard it before. "If you're coming from the east, it's a few days' march past the Caradhras and through Hollin…" The man's voice trailed off, most likely because of the strange, horrified look on Vivienne's face. "You've never heard of any of these places, have you?"

Vivienne slowly shook her head.

"Ah! I knew it!" cried the man. "I must really be in some other realm."

Vivienne blinked in disbelief. Was this guy for real? Was she really supposed to believe that he came from some "other realm"? She took a deep breath. "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

The man's face broke into a smile. "I've been waiting for you to ask that. My name is Elrond Halfelven, now what might yours be?"

"Vivienne LeFay," she responded.

"Very pretty, yet strange sounding." He walked slowly toward her. She shrunk back against the wall, but Elrond merely held out his hand. She took it, and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. Vivienne grinned. She could get used to this.

Elrond stepped back and his eyes scanned her face. "You are a human, I see," he said.

"Of course I'm a human. What the fuck kind of question is that?"

He seemed unaffected by her profanity. "I mean, you're not an elf, like me."

"An elf…?"

"Yes, of course." Elrond turned his head and pointed to his ear. Unlike hers, which were rounded on top, his ear ended in an unmistakable point.

Suddenly a dreadful thought dawned on Vivienne. "Oh no," she deadpanned, "you're not from that stupid book that Andrea the dork reads, are you?"

"What stupid book?"

"Oh, it's about… hobbits or something like that, and some ring."

"Ah, so somebody did write the history of Middle Earth!"

"Arrrrg!" Vivienne screamed and threw her hands up. She brushed past Elrond and stormed into her room. "Why did you have to show up at MY house? Why couldn't you have landed in dorky Andrea Greenwood's house, where she can probably speak to you in your native language and shit."

Elrond leaned on the frame of her door. "Well I'm sorry to upset you, but here I am. I was reading a book on the existence of other realms and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was lying on this bed. I looked around the house and discovered things that we don't have in Middle Earth, so I assumed that I had somehow entered another realm. And then you confirmed my theory." He strolled into the room and stood next to her. "So, are you the owner of this house?"

"No," she said icily, "my parents."

"Oh. Well, I should like to me them." He said.

"NO!" She suddenly cried and gripped his arm as though he were going downstairs that second. "Hell no. You're not going anywhere."

He crossed his arms. "And why not?"

"Do you really think my parents are going to believe that you're from some other realm? Hell, I hardly believe you. If it wasn't for that book and this sinking feeling I have in my stomach… Well anyways, I have an image to keep up and I don't need people to see YOU and associate me with some freak like Andrea."

He smiled slightly. "Are you honored at your school?" He asked.

"I'm the queen." Vivienne replied.

Elrond was tall, and the top of Vivienne's head came only to his shoulder. She looked up at him into a pair of sad gray eyes. "Well," he said softly, "I didn't realize that you were royalty around here. If it means that much to you, I will resist meeting other humans while I'm here."

"Good," she said curtly and pulled the door to her closet open. Elrond looked curiously inside. "Welcome to you home, my Lord." Vivienne pulled a string that hung from the celing and the light clicked on. It was a walk-in closet, but wasn't nearly spacious. Shoes of every color and style covered the floor and her pile of Cosmopolitan magazine had spilled on top of them.

"You have many shoes, Vivienne," he said and stepped inside, careful not to smash any. The top of his head brushed the celing and he ducked under the light bulb.

"Just kick that stuff in a corner. Whatever. But if you ruin ANY of my Prada shoes, your ass is so mine, elf-boy." She squinted and gripped the door. "If you're bored, feel free to read Cosmo. You'll learn everything about the women of this realm. Um…" she tapped her foot impatiently as she remembered what she wanted to say. "Oh yeah. I'll bring you food later, don't you dare come out of this closet. You can open it a crack for air, but if I see it open any more than that, you can forget ever seeing Riverdale again. If you have to pee, hold it. I think you'll survive. Weren't you a warrior or something?"

Elrond had settled himself in the back left corner of the closet. "I was the herald of Gil-Galad during the Last Alliance of Elves and Men." He replied.

"Wow." She deadpanned, "that's really great. Whatever. Just tough it out, ok, while I think of what to do with you." In the distance, Vivienne heard the door slam and the sound of keys tinkling.

"VIVIENNE!" A female voice screamed.

"That's my mom, gotta go." And with that, she slammed the closet door, leaving a shell-shocked Elrond alone to stare at her white pumps and Alyssa Milano on the Cosmo at his feet.



You get to meet the "mom" of the title in the next chapter. I have yet to decide how obnoxious I'm going to make her. I hope Vivienne's not pissing anyone off. Don't worry, she'll get hers soon enough.