~ Prologue ~
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This Week's feature story: Behind the Legend; The James Potter Story
By Rita Skeeter
Staff writer
James Leonard Potter is the type of boy parents dream of, well almost. He is also the guy many girls do dream about. His parents, Mr. Harold Orpheous Potter and Mrs. Annette Rosalind Potter, are two of the sweetest, funniest, and charming wizards this writer has ever met. They live in a cozy cottage in a small wizard neighborhood and are a very old wizarding stock. James is a charismatic fifth year that excels at everything he does and has the best grades of his class. He is chaser for Gryffandor's champion quidditch team and has the looks of a god! His perpetually messed coal black hair and gray-blue eyes behind those magnificent glasses make him a delicious hunk!! He certainly has the muscles ladies. And he has also recently become a prefect. But what about the "well almost" you wonder. Nobody's perfect and James would die of embarrassment if he was. So here, ladies and gents, I will reveal the truth about James L. Potter. He is a…TEACHER'S PET! The "prefect' proves it!
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"Ah, no, no, NO! This can not be happening! She is totally trashing my reputation!" James Potter roared at the Gryffandor breakfast table. "I will never ever live this down! EVER."
"Relax, teacher's pet, you knew Rita liked you. 'Oh, he has the looks of a god.'" Sirius
Black fluttered his eyelashes.
"Shut up Padfoot"
"And he 'certainly has muscles ladies!'" Remus Lupin tittered.
"At least someone likes me."
"I'll have you know a very intelligent seventh year has her eye on me," Remus retorted as he shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth.
"Right," James said. "Live under whatever delusion that makes you feel best."
"At least we're not," here both Sirius and Remus sniggered, "a TEACHER'S PET!"
"I am leaving. I don't have to take this kind of abuse." James managed to say with as much dignity as he had left before picking up a piece of burnt toast and walking out.
"Yeah, we know you can't take verbal lashings, TP!" Sirius called after him.
"Ya know this is going to bug him forever." Remus smirked.
"I hope he never finds out we tampered with Rita's article," Sirius said. "I mean, after all we did spare him the embarrassment of being called a cutie petutie by Rita Skeeter."
"Ezactamungo. I'm sure he would thank us if he knew. Imagine! Being Rita Skeeter's cutie petutie. YUCK."
"I think I'm going to be sick." moaned Peter Pettigrew. He made it outside of the hall before retching. Rita had actually had a thing for him last year!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
James was fuming as he strode down the path to the greenhouse. I can't believe she said I was a teacher's pet, he thought. How vulgar. And I'm only the second best in the fifth year class. Which was not supposed to happen. I wonder who is first? Could this possibly get any worse?
It could and soon did.
Peeves zoomed down the hallway drunkenly where he crashed into a suit of armor. It promptly fell apart.
"Potter did it," screeched Peeves to Filch, who had magically appeared on the spot instantaneously.
"I did not," exclaimed a furious James. That was far to simple a trick for him. It was positively insulting to his genius. "I would have made a much bigger crash and added a few Filibuster Fireworks to the effect in the very least!"
"Come with me, Potter," sneered Filch. "We'll just see what Professor McGonagall has to say about this."
*
Professor McGonagall was the newest edition to the staff at Hogwarts. She was around the age of forty and a big improvement over the last Transfiguration teacher. This means that she actually knew her stuff. Unfortunately for Filch, she was presently dealing with a group of errant students and severely told him not to bother her and go see Professor Dumbledore if he had a problem that required assistance.
Upon entering Dumbledore's office, James was greeted by a nod from Fawkes who had come to recognize him and a small, knowing smile from Dumbledore.
"Mr. Potter, just the man I was looking for. You may leave us now, Filch."
"Yessir!" and with a military salute, Filch exited the cluttered room.
"I didn't do any-" James started with his most innocent look since he was innocent, when Dumbledore interrupted.
"I don't want to hear about whatever this new vexation is of Filches. You are absolved from punishment. Take a seat."
"Uh, okay." Dumbledore had never treated James like this. It almost seemed like favoritism but Dumbledore didn't do favoritism.
"As you know, Voldemort has been rapidly gaining followers and power."
"My parents aren't hurt are they?" asked James worriedly.
"No, no. But there has been a premonition that makes clear what is vital in the downfall of Voldemort."
"Uh, huh…. I still don't see what this has to do with me."
"You may not, but I do! You, James Potter, must become friends with Lily Evens. I warn you, it won't be easy. I do have a plan for a way for this to come about, however. I am pleased to inform you that you are about to get a second mum."
"My parents aren't getting divorced!" James was become more confused every minute.
"Lily is a quiet girl, very shy and keeps to herself. Not even all your charm would persuade her to come out of her shell. That is why she will be your second mom. From this moment forward you have had problems in the past with getting to class on time (that had happened before, pulling a good prank sometimes took some effort), having your materials, and doing homework. The constant proximity to the female gender has muddled your brains."
"I object!" James flew upright in his chair. "It is most certainly the other way around. I muddle their brains. I have heard them talking about me. If she pays attention at all to what is going on in the world around her she would know that wasn't true."
"True, true. Luckily, she doesn't and I happen to know she has no interest in boys at this time."
"Okay." James sighed, resigned to fate.
"Do you know who she is?" asked Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye.
"Er…" James recognized the name. It was on the tip of his tongue, a past girlfriend perhaps?
"She is in your year and your house," hinted Dumbledore.
"Really?" James pondered this, a rare occasion. So she was in his year…Come to think of it, wasn't his fellow prefect named Lily? "Oh," said James with sudden recognition.
"She isn't apt to draw attention. Actually James," the headmaster excused James' memory problems, "I think she dislikes you and your gang."
"She hates us? Me?" James was, well frankly James was shocked.
"Oh no. Lily doesn't hate she dislikes. Hate is one step away from love, you know."
"I think you are mistaken Professor. I loathe cough hate cough a Slytherin boy and I am positive that that is not a step away form love."
"Circumstances change. Anyhow, Lily dislikes you because you are troublemakers and Lily doesn't like people who break the rules."
"Wait a minute, let me get this straight! Somehow if me and this insane person who DISLIKES me because I break RULES, which is (sorry Professor) what I live for, get together and become friends, we will ultimately bring about something that will almost destroy Voldemort, someone I haven't even heard of?"
"Yes, I believe that is correct."
"Uh oh…!"
*
"So how come you were in Dumbledore's office so long?" asked Sirius Black as he, James, and Remus tiptoed through the corridors.
"Oh, he wanted to discuss some stuff with me," said James vaguely as the threesome stopped in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. He tickled a pear who gave a muted howl of laughter before turning into a green doorknob. "Let's get some food, I'm starved!"
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you missed it. Well, part of it anyway. What do you expect?" inquired Remus virtuously.
"Yup, uh huh, whatever. Hurry up and be quiet! We don't have the invisibility cloak with us, remember?" hissed James.
"Prongs, my man, my buddy, my teacher's pet" {Sirius was promptly elbowed}"stop being so nervous."
"Listen, I need to talk to you later, okay?" said James.
"Definitely!" and "Sure thing!" were his replies.
"He's so going to tell us," whispered Remus.
"He knew it would be futile to argue," said Sirius airily as he inspected his nails. "We have our ways."
"Dung bombs."
"Curses."
"Hexes."
"Humiliation."
"I almost wished he hadn't given in," sighed Remus with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"I know," breathed Sirius. "We still can!" he added brightly. "Given time we will be sure to come up with something worthwhile. After all, we have humiliated him already today.
"Are you two coming or not," came James muffled voice from behind a giant sized basket of food. "I already got my food, but I am not sharing it with you."
"Pig," growled Remus who climbed through the hole in the wall and promptly ordered for a basket double the size of James's.
"Oink, oink." Snorted Sirius rudely who ordered two baskets the size of Remus's.
"Let's stay of the subject off one's food," said James wisely looking at each person's basket (or in Sirius's case, baskets).
"Right."
"Agreed."
*
"Soooo," drawled Sirius as he licked the last crumbs of the double layered chocolate cake off his fingers.
"Hmm?" mumbled James whose mouth was filled with strawberry tarts.
"What happened with Professor Dumbledore and why were you there in the first place?" explained Remus who had gulped down his cherry jubilee, Cimorene's Special Recipe.
"Hmhonammam," said James which translated to "Hold on a minute." He swallowed he rest of the tart. "Filch heard Peeves knock down the suit of armor and Peeves said it was me, so Filch brought me to Professor McGonagall but she was too busy punishing some class so he brought me to Professor Dumbledore. And Dumbledore said he didn't want to hear anything so if I really had done something I wouldn't have been punished which stinks because I didn't do something. Then it got weird. Do either of you know who Lily Evens is?" finished James.
"Nope. Don't know, don't care, never will," said Sirius lazily as he hung sideways across his bed.
"I do." Stated Remus. "She is in our year stupid and she also happens to be in our HOUSE!"
"Oh," thought Sirius. "Well, I guess she is okay then."
"She doesn't like us." Said James.
"Whyever not?" gasped Sirius. "The Sorting Hat obviously made a mistake if he put her in
Gryffandor when she doesn't like us. She belongs in Slytherin where she can find others to hate with her. I mean, we embody what a true Gryffandor IS!"
"She doesn't hate us precisely. She dislikes us because we don't follow rules."
"What a pity," said Remus.
"Help, help! Call nine-one-one. Someone has had their brains addled!" screeched Sirius at the top of his lungs.
"Sirius, if you can't be quiet, leave," scowled James. "I am trying to finish. Wait till you hear what else Dumbledore had to say."
"What? I'll be quiet! Promise, Scout's honor, I will."
"What is a scout?"
"Nevermind Remus."
"AS I WAS SAYING, ahem, I am to become friends with Miss Lily Evens. I don't even know who she is and I have a feeling I am going to dislike her but Dumbledore says I have to. And listen to this, apparently my heavenly charm won't work on her so Dumbledore is going to have her be my surrogate MOTHER!"
"WHAT," yelled his friends.
"You can't be serious," said Sirius.
"I'm serious, Sirius."
"Dumbledore was fooling with you?" Remus asked hopefully.
"I wish."
"But wouldn't she figure out it was a hoax?"
"Dumbledore says she doesn't pay attention to what goes on."
"Okay, OKAY. All we need is a plan. Remus, since you know who she is, you talk to her first. You are more countrified than James and me." Said Sirius.
"I grew up on a flat and you and James grew up on some old road miles away from civilization," Remus looked at his friend as if he had suddenly gone insane. The thought that he looked at Sirius like he was crazy a lot occurred to him.
"But you seem as if you did, matey."
"Ya, um sure Sirius. Maybe you should visit Peter in the infirmary."
"Go stick your head in a rain bucket, matey," said Sirius.
"Those things went out of style years ago. Where have you been? It's stick your head up a gutter now. Keep up with the times, Black. And you claim to be sophisticated."
"Both of you be quiet. Let us concentrate on a plan. Remus, you talk to Lily since you are the most accessible one of us. Sirius will give it a try afterwards. And we'll see what information you can collect."
"Got it."
"Aye, aye matey."
"GO TO BED SIRIUS!" James rolled his eyes. Sirius was definitely on something! Maybe he could get in on it…
*
Remus cautiously approached a small red head who was reading a book in the corner of the Gryffandor common room.
"Are you Lily Evens?" he asked in a winning tone. The girl jumped.
"Y-y-yes," she stuttered without looking at him. "Why?"
"I couldn't help but notice how well you do in Charms and I'm having a spot of difficulty with our homework. I was wondering if you could help. The name is Remus Lupin."
"Oh. I'm um Lily." She shook his hand timidly.
"I know."
"Oh yeah."
Remus stared behind her. She looked back and saw Sirius and James gesturing wildly. On seeing her turn they abruptly struck poses of indifference and Sirius started whistling. James began singing loudly, "Ohhh, I know a song that everybody hates, everybody hates. Everybody hates. I know a song that everybody hates and this is how it gooooeeeessss." He started up again and a group of girls swarmed around him like a group of bees. "YOU have such a wonderful singing voice, James."
Lily faced Remus a bit ruffled. "Are you part of that Marigold Pirate thingamagig?"
"The Marauders? Yes, yes I am." Remus made a slicing motion across his neck while looking over Lily's head. He hurriedly added "But don't hold it against me." Though he said it to thin air because Lily had vanished upstairs.
"You idiots!" exclaimed Remus striding over to Sirius and James. James was jumping up and down and Sirius was scratching himself like a monkey. "I was this close." He held up his forefinger and thumb to demonstrate. "It's Sirius's turn next."
"I am going dooowwwnnn." Moaned Sirius.
*
"Good Lord, Gracious Lord, I've been good. I haven't done anything to Snape for the past hour. Don't you think that deserves a reward? It's nothing big I'm asking, only for Lily not to run screaming from me. Is that a lot to ask? I may not have been so good this year…" mumbled Sirius as he made his way towards Lily in the library under Madame Pince's strict eye.
"Hiya, Lily. It is Lily isn't it? Sirius Black at your service." Sirius pumped Lily's hand up and down vigorously. Lily looked as if she was facing her doom. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"
"I have to go," Lily said before running from the library.
"YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY PRAYER," accused Sirius shaking a fist in the air angrily.
"I told you to be delicate," shouted James. "And you ask her out on a DATE?"
"Potter, Lupin, and Black! Get out of my library NOW. You are disrupting the peace." Madame Pince threw them out the door.
"Good work, oh brilliant one. I pay homage to your genius." Said Remus sarcastically.
"She said no to going on a date with me," Sirius was in a nasty bit of shock. "This is no ordinary person. This is a SLYTHERIN IN DISGUISE!"
