In which Detention is served in the Forbidden Forest
*
Lily scurried down the corridors to an empty classroom where the detention assignments were to be handed out. She opened the door to find the caretaker of Hogwarts, Argus C. Filch, stroking a seething, blue kitten soothingly.
"Uncle Gus!" she cried ecstatically. (Don't let sarcasm take over, don't let sarcasm take over…)
"Lily, what a surprise. What are you doing here?" Filch asked as Mrs. Norris leapt from his lap into Lily's arms. Now here was his idea of a model student.
"Oh, Uncle Gus. It's so horrible." A tear leaked out of Lily's eye. "I was partnered with that crummy James Potter in Potions and our cauldron exploded because he wasn't paying attention to what Professor Durkstrang was telling us so I got a detention and it's my first one EVER." She wailed.
"My poor Lily-willy," said Filch and a tear threatened to come out of his eye at the sad story. "I can't get you out of detention but I will be right back."
"Okay Uncle Gus," sniffed Lily, who seated herself on top of a desk and started swinging her legs back and forth.
"Poor, poor Mrs. Norris. What did those rotten, no good people do to you this time? I bet it was those awful boys." Lily hugged the cat to her chest. Mrs. Norris started to purr in the company of someone who truly understood what a maaarrvelous cat she was.
James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin entered at that moment. Lily turned her back on them and swung her legs from the other side of the desk.
Seating himself on the top of another desk James whispered audibly, "She said she would get me but all she did was tell some third years I thought they were hot."
"But James," said Sirius with an innocent look on his face, "we heard you painful cries in the Potions room."
"Err, it's hot in here isn't it?" James tugged on the collar of his black robe.
"Go on James," encouraged Remus with a wicked grin.
"Ah, yes well, ahem let's say my bottom was, uh, sore afterwards."
Sirius and Remus roared with laughter and collapsed to the floor. Lily, who had overheard, allowed herself a satisfied smile. For the first time she had actually done something mean to someone, it hadn't been all that bad.
Of course, Filch chose this time to return.
"Here, Lilypooh. It was for your birthday but I thought you would need something to look forward to since you seem to have a horrible year ahead of you." Filch handed her a book covered with green leather and embossed in gold leaf, Gardening with Lilies; Magical Plants Inside and Out.
Filch realized for the first time that they had been joined by three-quarters of the Marauders, his most frequent detentionies. He had even heard some crazy rumor that they were going for the most detentions ever at Hogwarts. "So you're back, eh? Missing some good ol' detention fun? If only I was still able to hang students by their heels just like in the good old days. I'm sure you'd still be scurrying back for more then."
"Uncle Gus!" Lily was shocked. "Aunt Delia would be most ashamed of the way you're behaving!"
"Erm, of course Lily. You know I don't, uh, mean it. Now hand me Mrs. Norris, there's a good little girl. The um, detention tonight will be with Hagrid out in the Forbidden Forest. Getting some roots for Professor Bogweed or something like that. Follow me."
Filch led the way down to Hagrid's hut. Meanwhile, the boys were taking turns looking astonishingly between Lily and Filch, unsure of whom held the most surprises.
"Ello, everyone." Called a giant figure carrying a lantern at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "Took yer a while but yeh got here at leas'."
"Good evening, Hagrid," said Filch looking at Lily anxiously. "Lily won't get any trouble going into the Forbidden Forest with you, will she?"
"O course not, yeh big prune. I hev never lost a singl' student yet an' I'm not planning ta." Said Hagrid with a cheery grin.
"If you say so," said Filch dubiously double checking Lily. "Be good, Lils." He started back for the castle with Mrs. Norris pouncing along side him. Hagrid looked over the group. "Well know, fancy seein' you here, Sirius and James. Good seein' you again too, Remus. Bu' I don't seem to rem'ber you." Hagrid's roving eyes had halted on Lily.
"I'm Lily. Lily Evens." She whispered with wide eyes. Hagrid was quite the impressing figure.
"Oh, ye'd be Filch's rellie. He was talk'n an' talkin' about' yeh when he was down fer a cup o' tea night before last. Me, him, an' Professor Dumbledore."
Lily gave a shy smile, which made her look unexpectedly attractive suddenly to James who thought that he might get something out of this thing of Dumbledore's after all.
"Now what we'r lookin' fer are some o' these beans, see?" Hagrid held up some yellowish-green beans that looked like snakes. "Professor Bogweed needs 'em fer his next class. We'll be in two groups so we can cov'r more groun' but we should all be within twenty or so feet o' one another. Once th' bags full we can go."
Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Each had a huge fake grin on his face.
"Remus, old pal."
"Sirius! Long time no see."
"We have some catching up to do friend."
"Oh, yup. Definitely."
"Maybe we should walk together for a ways."
"No harm in that." When they got closer, Remus whispered, "I don't want to be alone with Lily considering her
relations!"
"Oh man, yeah! And after what she did to James." Sirius shivered. "That was pure evil through and through. Took some smarts to come up with that one though. Maybe we should recruit her."
"Maybe…"
*
This left James and Lily together with Hagrid.
"Well, I had better stay with those two," said Hagrid. "They got thoughts on the'r minds, very dang'rous."
"Okay," said Lily nervously. Being alone in the Forbidden Forest with James Potter made her shivery. He didn't seem like much protection compared to the hulking Hagrid.
"Are we going to stand here all night or are you going to hurry up so we can get out of here?" asked James irritably.
The small passing thoughts on how pretty she was were long gone as he stood there freezing his (already sore) butt off. And both problems were her fault. Lily didn't answer but started walking the path Hagrid, Sirius, and Remus had taken.
The small ball of light Lily had conjured hung above them as they looked for the bushes that had beans on them.
"I found one." hissed James to Lily who had ignored his stopping, being rather occupied with a dream about two weeks ago when she was leading a nice happy dull life: the wonderful days of her youth. Lily took out the small sack she had been entrusted with by Hagrid (later to be poured into the bigger sack). Carefully she opened it up and James dropped beans into it. It was almost full when there was a rustling in the leaves. Lily shrieked and ran into James. Between standing close to someone she disliked and possible death, she would take James any day. As it happened, however, only a mouse scurried by. Still, Lily gulped convulsively and didn't move.
On the other hand, James was thinking about how seductive a lavender smelling and scared witless female person could be when they were holding on to him for dear life. Teenager boys, cluck, cluck! Unfortunately, his hormones got the better of him and he leaned in to kiss Lily. Lily looking up at him as he went in for the kill [creepy phrasing!!] frantically kneed him in the, ahem, as the author is not in Health she will only say…she kneed him where it counts. And slapped him hard on the cheek.
"Oh, are you okay?" Lily was a tad worried seeing that she didn't actually want to believe that she had actually just physically hurt someone.
"Oww," James doubled up in pain. "Good Lord, Evens. Frag it all, I can see how you're related to Filch. I have known you a day and I am covered in injuries."
"They were not all inflicted by me," Lily said hoarsely looking at the boy who had almost given her her first kiss.
"And do not try to say you didn't deserve what you got just now."
"We. Have. Enough. Beans. Now!" labored James as he hunched further away from Lily. Lily tied up the sack and made sure to keep a good distance between her and James on the way back. Since James was doing the same thing there was about ten feet from her to him. But, just as the way things always seem to Mary Sue themselves, the distance was not kept for long.
"James," Lily shrieked once again and this time succeeded in bowling James over as she ran to him. A tremendously large dog ran over to them and drool splashed to the ground.
"No Fangs, no," moaned James as he sat up and unwrapped Lily's arms from around him. "And how is it you always get to run and hug me yet when I try to give you a simple, friendly kiss you freak out and do painful things.
"Fine, I am sorry. But it's so big and… big!" Lily shivered a little as Fang lowered his head to sniff her. "And I was NOT hugging you."
"It sure felt that way to me." Said James. "And I have experience with hugging."
"Oh, yes. And I'm sure it's just hugging you have experience with too," said Lily snidely.
"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded James who was very defensive.
"Oh, just stop and leave me alone." Groaned Lily.
"I don't think I will." Said James. This was turning out to be a bad night.
"Please be quiet James Potter. I don't like who I am around you. I'm nasty and horrible. I feel like some Slytherin. I just want to have some tea go to bed and read An Old-Fashioned Girl. And then when I am an appropriate age some prince like person'll sweep me off my feet. I just want to be what I was twenty four hours ago." Much to James horror, Lily started crying. Crying females were more Remus' type. Sure he broke girls' hearts but he didn't comfort them! What in the world was he supposed to do?
"Hey, uh, Lily. I'm er sorry about all I've done. I mean I did get you your first detention and all. Why don't we go tell Professor Dumbledore that we can't do it and get you out of this mess. I mean, when my girlfriend finds out about this arrangement she won't be too pleased and she's er got connections with all the little girl gossip shows or
whatever."
"I don't want to look like a coward," murmured Lily. "but.., wait a second! Did you just say you have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you?"
"Yes, I suppose that is true."
"You cheating, lying, filth bag of scum! You just tried to kiss me and you have a girlfriend! You could have ruined my first kiss and that misguided girl's reputation."
"I do it all the- you mean you've never been kissed?"
"No."
"NEVER?"
"NO."
"That must be tough."
"For your information, Potter, it isn't."
"Oh yeah, that prince guy."
"Shove it up your arse James Potter."
"I'll just have to change that, won't I?"
"James Potter, if you ruin my first kiss for me, which you WON'T, I'll…I'll…"
"You'll do what? Glare at me?"
"I think I have proven that I can do more than glare when I want to, you hormonal teenage male."
"Well then it is good for you because I happen to NOT want to kiss you nor see you ever again. Such a pity Professor
Dumbledore ordered otherwise."
"I agree. And I am going back to Hagrid right now."
"Well so am I."
*
"So what happened with you and the fair maiden Lily tonight?" asked Sirius when Peter was asleep.
"What makes you think anything happened?" asked James carelessly as he jumped on his pillow to make it smushy.
"Welll," drawled out Remus. "You both came back looking pretty piqued."
"We might have upset each other a couple of times tonight," admitted James.
"More," demanded Remus and Sirius.
"Okay, well it started when this mouse came by and Lily ran into my arms and-"
"You didn't!" gasped Remus.
"You're right, I didn't." said James looking downcast. "That doesn't mean I didn't try though."
"James! You're dating Cecilia." Remus was shocked.
"That never stopped me before. Besides she's getting old. It's been six days already."
"Your gonna dump her?"
"Yup."
"What do you mean by you tried?" asked Sirius as a thought floated in his head and a wicked grin appeared.
"She, erm, kneed me in the groins," said James blushing,
"Ahhh ha ha ha, Oh. My. God! I wish, I was there!" gasped Remus as he rolled over the floor laughing.
"Shut up!" said James. "It's not that funny."
More laughter.
"It's NOT!"
"Sure it's not," reassured Sirius standing up on his bed. "Okay, and now for something I call Reenactment time. Peter
pitch me that ball. It is now our fair maiden's foot." Peter was looking groggily out of the curtains of his bed.
"On the count of three. One. Two. THREE!" Peter threw the ball and Sirius caught it at his stomach.
"Oh, noo. Fair maiden Lily why so cruel?" Sirius dropped to the bed and hung over the end. He put his hand over his forehead dramatically.
"Lily, o' Lily! All I want to do is snog you. Cecilia is nothing to me, NOTHING!" Sirius pouted as before pretending to stick his tongue down the imaginary throat of the ball he was clutching.
"Eww, no Sirius, no!" Remus said. "That's mine from Christmas. And anyways I thought that was the fair maiden Lily's foot."
"I'm making out with a foot? YUCK!" Sirius flung the ball onto the bed beside his own.
"If you are done now…?" James asked in a very bored tone.
"Oh we'll never be done James…"
*
Lily slipped her nightgown over her head and brushed her teeth before going to bed with the cup of hot tea and the book Under the Lilacs, just as she had wanted to. This day was one of horrible first experiences from beginning to end and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and never come out until the end of the year. Thank goodness it's Friday, she thought as she finished her tea and a chapter at the same time. She turned out the lights and pulled her covers over her head. Now if only James Potter was at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean on the other side of the world!
%%%%%%%%%%%
Author's Note: Once again, I apologize for immaturity of this chapter and the previous. They become more "normal" (if Sirius could ever BE normal) in the chapters to come. Well…um…maybe.
