========
The Good Old Boys
A Star Wars New Jedi Order one-shot
By: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
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Disclaimer: *waves hand at lawyers* There's nothing to see here. Move along, move along.

***

The antiquated starfighter seemed to be floating away from the devastation that had
just been wrought upon the Yuuzhan Vong worldship. As it was such an old model, speed and
maneuverability were lacking even more than one of the ships might have been when new.

This served much to the annoyance of the man piloting the craft, who found himself
trapped in a couped-up cockpit as his fighter lumbered along towards the friendly formation,
with an adrenaline high that was not quite yet wearing off. He felt like getting out and
running five kilometers; instead, he had to settle for fidgeting about with the instruments
within his reach.

'I wonder if people like General Antilles ever felt like this?' the man thought
as he confirmed, for the fifth time, that the Y-Wing fighter he was flying was set to full
throttle. 'Or Colonel Celchu?'

With that thought came others, as the man wondered what had happened to him since he
had come to Borleias that changed him so. The old him would never have stopped to consider
such things, especially not with the remnants of a battle occurring around him.

"Then again," muttered Commander Eldo Davip to the empty cockpit, "the old me never
single-handedly piloted a Super Star Destroyer into a Vong worldship."

And beyond that, an irrelevant train of thought was preferable to one that
acknowledged his own mortality. It might have helped if there were something beyond his
radar display to keep him occupied. Couldn't they have left him an X-Wing, so at least he'd
have an astromech to talk to?

The comm board of his fighter crackled to life. "Twin Suns Five to Last Warden."

Eldo was too wrapped up in his introspection to notice the mechanical voice that
filled the cockpit of the fighter. He was gazing out of the cockpit now, the displays having
failed to divert his mind well enough as he was looking for. Which of the stars that he was
looking at were under the control of the Vong? Which had been saved by what he and the
others had done here at Borleias?

"Twin Suns Five to Last Warden, over," the mechanical voice said again. It startled
the former captain of the Lusankya out of his thinking; at first Eldo was sure the noise was
an explosion in his vicinity and he even juked the fighter a bit in case there were
coralskippers near him.

He attempted to calm himself before keying his comm in reply. This effort failed,
and he replied in a shaky voice, "Twin Suns Five, you have Last Warden. Over." His fighter,
he knew, had gotten that designation from all of the stories that Lusankya had once been a
prison. Eldo didn't believe any of them. Stuff like that couldn't really happen.

"Last Warden, the Goddess commends you for a job well done," the unusual voice said.
Who had a voice that strange? And, wait a minute, who was the Goddess?

"Thanks," was all Eldo could manage to say due to his confusion.

The voice continued before he could wonder anymore. "She has arranged for you to
join her other favored mortals and keep quarters on Rebel Dream."

Though he had his questions as to what was going on, Eldo was never one to turn down
unexpected hospitality. He keyed his comm. "Acknowledged, Twin Suns Five. Last Warden will
see you aboard Rebel Dream."

"The Goddess would not have it any other way, Last Warden. Twin Suns Five, over and
out." If he didn't know any better, he'd have sworn that the other pilot sounded amused, but
there was certainly nothing amusing to that conversation.

Eldo decided that it might have been a strange conversation, but at least now his
affairs were squared away. Most of them, anyway. Some. Or only his previous problem of not
knowing where to go now that his command was gone. Unfortunately, the old Star Destroyer was
about three minutes away at the rate his Y-Wing was currently plugging through space.

His threat board indicated that all Vong ships were behind from him, and withdrawing
from the combat zone. "At least something can be done," he grumbled before shunting his
laser energy into the engines. The aging snubfighter seemed to give a whine of protest
before boosting the engine speed. Eldo figured he was as good as dead if a coralskipper came
at him in a Y-Wing anyway; he'd not done any combat since his simulator time at the Academy.
And that was many, many years ago.

Earlier thoughts from the brief flight, though it seemed to Eldo to have lasted for
hours, came back to him. After Jedi Skywalker blew up the first Death Star, what sort of
reception did he get with older Alliance pilots? Or General Calrissian after the second
Death Star? What had it been like for those old pilots? Despite his accomplishment of
minutes before, he felt like an insignificant speck compared to some.

Other ships were tractoring into Rebel Dream as he headed towards it, although Eldo
was not paying attention, so he didn't see the Twin Suns, the Rogues, the Blackmoons, the
Wild Knights, the Millennium Falcon, or any of the others.

There wasn't much fanfare in the hangar, he noted with a twinge of disappointment
as he set down the craft he was piloting. Eldo felt that he couldn't have gotten out of the
thing a moment to soon.

Some young ensign whose face he had never seen before was there to greet him,
though. "Commander Davip, if you'll follow me, your assigned quarters are this way," the
ensign informed him. Eldo was sure that this kid shouldn't have even been in the Navy, he
was so young, but he knew as well as anyone that the war had depleted numbers.

Rebel Dream seemed to be in good shape, and rightly so, considering Eldo's own
Lusankya was essentially deconstructed to provide parts and weapons to the other Star
Destroyers defending Borleias. Not that he thought General Antilles' plan was a bad one; it
seemed to have worked quite well.

Before long the ensign had led him to a corridor that seemed to be in an out-of-the-
way part of the ship. "Here you go, sir."

"Who else is quartered in this corridor?" There it was again, the 'new' Eldo, asking
questions about something that really wasn't any of his business.

The ensign paused to think about his reply. "It's the, ah, chosen ones, of the, ah
Goddess." He gave Eldo a hapless look that suggested he was as unsure what to make of it as
Eldo would undoubtedly be.

"The Goddess," Eldo said dubiously. "And who is this Goddess?"

It was apparent the ensign was uncomfortable before; it was even more apparent after
that question. "Ah, sir, you'll have to ask General Antilles when you are debriefed, I don't
really think I could explain it." The fellow saluted and left hastily.

Eldo opened the door to the quarters and sauntered in. "At least the weirdos behind
this operation are still out in force," he mumbled before the door slid closed behind him.

***

As quarters go, whoever this "Goddess" was who set him up in here had given him a
pretty good place. Under normal circumstances the room would have been assigned to two
pilots, or perhaps more, but instead the room meant for many was given just to Eldo.

It was nothing too fancy. A bunked pair of beds in the corner right next to the door
where he'd come in, a table and a few chairs to sit at and work on things, or play some sort
of game, a computer terminal, a single-person 'fresher station, a Holonet viewer.

Eldo knew the history of this particular ship, once the flagship of Princess Leia
Organa and headquarters of Han Solo while he waged his personal war against the renegade
Warlord, Zsinj. He wondered if anyone famous had ever been in these very quarters. It was
certainly a possibility, one his mind was happy to entertain as the last bits of adrenaline
wore out of his system.

A pale blue glow emitting from the holoprojector was the only source of light in
the room. Eldo had turned it on when he came in, after discovering it was there, hoping that
he could catch some news about how things were going elsewhere. There was no return signal;
he didn't know if that meant nothing was broadcasting, or if there was some sort of
communications blackout ordered by the top. Maybe both.

It didn't really matter whether or not it was broadcasting anything. He'd fallen
asleep within seconds of lying down in the bottom bunk of the bed, the combination of lack
of sleep and wearing off of adrenaline finally overcoming his consciousness once he
could safely sleep.

Dreams came to him for the first time in as long as he could remember.

~~~

He was on the bridge of Lusankya. There was no tangible evidence to indicate it, but
it seemed like it was his first day as captain, because that's what he felt like it was.
Except that he seemed like he was watching himself from afar. But he could still remember
how proud he was to be given command of Lusankya.

"Why?" a voice sneered.

Eldo wasn't really one to dream often, but he certainly didn't recall a voice ever
being directed at him with such scorn. "Why what?"

General Antilles appeared at a console. "Why would you be proud of this command?" he
sneered, again.

The captain started to reply, but then was cut off by Jedi Skywalker, who appeared
at another console. "They are only sending you to Borleias so you can die."

He wanted to tell himself, tell them, that it wasn't true, but he remembered General
Antilles saying just that.

"A first-class foul-up if ever there was one," another voice said. Eldo turned and
saw someone vaguely familiar... who was he? Oh, right, the pilot that went insane. What was
his name... Wreck? Reth? That was it. Reth.

"I..." He had no reason to care what Reth said; Reth was just some disgruntled pilot
who whined too much. But, as dreams tend to go, even when the dreamer is lucid, the dream
can still be very irrational.

"You should be a galley cook instead of a ship captain," yet another chimed in. The
voice belonged to Colonel Celchu.

Eldo wanted to talk, but found that he was frozen in place as the taunting kept
going. And laughing, too. Everyone was laughing. Despair began to claim him.

Captain Janson was there next. "Indecisive, now and forever."

Now it was Han Solo, and Lando Calrissian. "You'll never be one of us," one told him
right before the other said, "So stop trying."

Other people showed up, too. Pretty much any face he had ever seen mentioned in a
training simulator or a holovid. Some dead, some living. Taunting, and laughing. The entire
bridge seemed to be spinning around him with the taunts and laughter, and-

Then there was some guy he didn't even recognize standing there wearing a bright
yellow jacket. "You okay in here?"

~~~

He was in his quarters again, though now instead of the pale blue light glowing from
the holoprojector there was light shining in from the corridor. Except for the shadow cast
where there was someone standing in the doorway. That someone was wearing a bright yellow
jacket. "You okay in here?" the man asked.

Eldo was on his feet in a nanosecond. "Sithspit!" he swore. "How did you get in
here?"

The man in the yellow coat shrugged nonchalantly. "I was passing by and heard some
noise, I figured I'd stop on in and see what was happening." He brought one of his hands,
attached to an arm propped against the doorjamb, up to his mouth, blew air on it, and
mimicked buffing it. Eldo stared at the man in disbelief until he continued. "Goddess'
Personal Psychological Warfare Advisor, Sharr Latt." The man held out a hand.

Lusankya's former captain held his own hand forward, looking at the other man's
hand suspiciously, as though he expected skin to peel away and reveal the hand of a Yuuzhan
Vong warrior, or a Hutt. "Commander Eldo Davip, late of the Lusankya," he said, feeling
more insignificant with each passing syllable.

"Oh, so that's you!" Sharr exclaimed. "Talk about how to kill two mynocks with one
blaster shot." He chuckled as though that was a joke.

Almost entirely certain that he was experiencing the strangest encounter in his
entire life, Eldo nonetheless decided against shoving this Sharr character out the door that
exact second. "Did you need something?" he finally asked.

"Well, yes, I- hold on a sec, okay?" Sharr stuck his head out into the hallway and
called out, "Piggy! Hey, Piggy! Come here for a nano!"

Eldo watched with his face curious, which turned to shock as a Gamorrean appeared
behind Sharr in the doorway and announced, "Here as requested, Sharr." With an elaborate
wave of a thick arm, he gestured towards Eldo. "Who have we here?"

"This," Sharr replied, giving an equally elaborate wave towards Eldo, "is Commander
Davip."

"This?" asked the Gamorrean doubtfully. He squatted as much as he could, which
wasn't very much at all, then looked Eldo up and down. "I always thought he'd be more..."

"Portly?" offered Sharr.

"Portly. Yes." Piggy patted his belly for emphasis. "I guess the holocam adds a few
kilos." Then a startled look crossed his pudgy face. "My apologies for not introducing
myself sooner. I am Voort saBinring, Goddess' Personal Tactical Advisor. You may call me
Piggy, like everyone does."

A talking, flying Gamorrean. What was next, a talking, flying Ewok? "I hope this
doesn't sound rude, but if you're not here for something I'm going to have to ask you to
leave," Eldo told them, trying to sound composed as he did so.

Sharr elbowed Piggy, who elbowed Sharr right back. The loudly-decorated visitor
heaved a resigned sigh, then turned back to Eldo. "The Goddess commands you attend a
celebration in honor of the tactical and psychological victory at Borleias."

It might have been funny if he were someone else, and this weren't the most odd
conversation he'd ever had. "Who is The Goddess?"

"Shh! Someone might hear you," Sharr said in a low voice. "The Goddess is The
Goddess, of course."

"Your nano has expired, Sharr," Piggy said suddenly. As he backed out into the
corridor and walked off, he added, "I will see you there," though whether it was directed at
Sharr or Eldo, Eldo wasn't sure.

Eldo opened his mouth to tell the other man that he was going to go use the
'fresher, but Sharr was talking already. "Say, Eldo, are you always this boring? I can't
imagine why The Goddess would invite someone so boring."

Dealing with people in a conventional manner was something not difficult for Eldo to
do, but this eccentric man was just too much for his mind to take. He chose to ignore what
Sharr just asked. "I'm going to go straighten up a bit in the 'fresher."

It was obvious that Sharr was barely holding back some inane comment. Eldo chose to
retreat into the 'fresher without waiting for a reply. As much as he tried to think of no
other things but who the wacko barging into his quarters uninvited thought he was, or who
in the name of the Sith this "Goddess" person was, he kept musing about the meaning of his
dream. Did he really feel like that deep down, or was it just a dream? Why did he care so
much?

At some point while his back was turned and his attention was focused inward, Sharr
stepped into the room and stuck his head into the 'fresher. "You okay in here?" Eldo nearly
jumped out of his skin as Sharr continued, "It's been a few minutes now."

The other man made his voice sound genuinely concerned, but Eldo was sure from the
look on the other's face that he was doing it on purpose. Eldo was also sure that if he had
been in any state of undress he might have burned down the other man where he stood. Did any
of the good old boys have to deal with wackos like this?

"It looks like you're done to me, so should we be going?" Sharr added after it was
apparent Eldo was not going to move. "You wouldn't want The Goddess to get upset, would
you?"

Eldo was about to shoo Sharr out, Goddess or otherwise, until he stopped to consider
how long it had been since he'd been able to fraternize with someone of equal or greater
rank. And maybe if there really were other "favored mortals" of the Goddess, someone who'd
answer some questions would be there. 'Someone who'd answer questions?' he thought to
himself. 'Sithspawn, who am I turning into, a holoreporter?'

Sharr cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh... I'll come along, since The Goddess commands," Eldo said, finally resigned
to his fate.

Sharr flashed a wide grin. "Excellent."

***

Eldo was staring at the floor in front of the turbolift when he heard the door slide
open and Sharr announce cheerfully, "Oh, look, it's my partner-in-crime!"

A gravelly voice that could only belong to a Mon Calamari responded. "Sharr, who is
your friend here?" Eldo felt a little better. At least it wasn't a Wookiee who could speak
Common somehow, or maybe a floating Hutt.

"Eldo, meet Beelyath. The Goddess' Mobile Trick Pilot. Beelyath, Eldo." Sharr
brought the other two's hands together in a clasp and nodded satisfactorily. "The Goddess
invited him personally to the celebration."

Eldo sighed and shook his head. Invited? Not quite.

"Oooh." The Mon Cal paused. "But wait, I thought she was with Three?"

"Not like that," Sharr laughed as he stepped into the turbolift. He peered at Eldo
for what seemed like the millionth time. "Besides, Eldo's a bit too old for her."

Beelyath regarded Eldo with a curious look, then shrugged. "You're the techie guy.
I'm just the pilot."

Sharr reached out a hand and dragged Eldo into the turbolift. The door shut and the
turbolift gave off a whirr and took them to their destination - the floor of the
celebration.

Sharr was grinning at him again. "Are we having fun yet?"

Eldo nodded meekly, thinking to himself all the while, 'If they had to deal with
people like this, the old guard must have gone insane.'

Little did Eldo know that the good old boys he so admired were people like that.

***

Eldo counted himself lucky that no one else stepped into the turbolift as it
traveled a few decks, or that it didn't spontaneously shut down in the middle of the ride.
It seemed like those sorts of things just happened to him since he'd stepped aboard Rebel
Dream. He also counted himself lucky that Beelyath and Sharr decided to remain silent for
the brief ride, although he was convinced that epics were passing between their amused
expressions.

The door slid open with a hiss and he was immediately greeted with sounds of live
music - was that a jizz band? He hadn't heard one of those in ages. It seemed like the
entire deck was alive with festivities.

In the brief moment he thought he might remain in the turbolift and not explore the
party, Sharr had grabbed his forearm and dragged him out of the solid white light of the
turbolift and into the flashing colored lights in the corridor. The door had hissed shut
once more before he was wholly aware of what had transpired.

"Hey, new people are comin' to the party!" The voice belonged to a young woman, and
he could smell the foul odor of what had passed for brandy on Borleias before he could see
the source of it. For that reason he wasn't particularly surprised to find no one was next
to him, and that the young woman stumbled towards him. "And it's twins!"

"Hello, Miss," he said, reaching out to steady her with an arm.

"Hey, ya don't gotta talk at the same time! Makes Zindra Daine's head hurt," the
young woman - her name was Zindra, if Eldo's experience with the intoxicated was of any
worth - slurred in a boisterous tone. "Wait a minnit! I know you! You're that guy - that guy
that did that stuff - an', an'... something else."

Eldo figured asking what she meant would probably only serve to confuse him further.
He noticed Zindra was slumped against him, inert, so he tried to gently set her down against
the wall. 'At least she passed out before she started hitting on me,' he thought.

Wherever they were, the band grew quiet for a few seconds while they changed tunes.
The music picked up, just as lively, with a different song. Then the sixth sense he had
developed over the years told him to turn around; someone was back there, it said.

He performed an about face and saw General Wedge Antilles standing right behind him.
There was no containing the look of surprise on his face.

"Glad to see you made it, Davip," the General said. By contrast, his expression was
one of uncontrolled mirth.

"Uh... sir." Eldo lamely tried to offer a salute, but he only succeeded in having
those around him stare at him. "Uh, my pleasure... uh, sir." The way Eldo chose to stare at
the nearest bulkhead only interested more people.

The ship captain jumped slightly when the General grinned wider and put an arm
around Eldo's shoulder. "Come on along with me, Davip. We've got some things to discuss."

Eldo thought he had jumped before, but he nearly leapt right out of his clothing
when the General took the tone he did with him. 'Am I in trouble? What's going on?' Absorbed
in his thoughts and sudden worries of his own job performance, he followed the living legend
to a room somewhat farther down in the deck's corridor.

It seemed to him like the band switched tunes to some sort of dirge, although this
was merely paranoia causing him to not realize it was a slow song for couples to dance.
Activity slowed, and Eldo thought maybe those around were paying their last respects.

A few lumes on the ceiling flickered in and out, providing inconsistent lighting
that was dim at best, barely visible at worst. Eldo could only make out a few other shapes
in the darkness; he could not tell who they belonged to.

"I have brought him," the General intoned. Suddenly Eldo wondered if he was about to
be sacrificed in some sort of bizarre ritual. It would fit - there was apparently some
Goddess being worshipped.

"Is he ready?" The speaker sounded Corellian.

General Antilles didn't even look back to Eldo to check. "He is ready."

It was a bizarre ritual, Eldo was certain of it now. They were about to sacrifice
him. Strip his flesh from his bones, watch him die in agony, or maybe they were going to
hang him upside-down, then cut off bits of his legs, so the blood wouldn't flow out, or-

"We begin," a third person said. Eldo thought the voice sounded boyish. He might
have been curious if he wasn't fearing for his life.

Others in the room - how many, Eldo couldn't tell - started laughing. Hideous
laughter. It must be that they were all Vong in disguise! Yes, that was it. He'd read some
about how the Vong could disguise themselves, they must have exchanged themselves for
General Antilles and they had led him into a trap!

For a brief moment he was ready to run screaming into the hallway.

That brief moment extended for a nanosecond after the room lit up suddenly, and he
saw who was sitting in various furniture around the room.

General Antilles had sat down on a couch next to Colonels Celchu and Darklighter.
Elsewhere, Captain Janson leaned against a wall, almost doubling over with laughter. Jedi
Skywalker and Jedi Horn were there, too, and so were General Solo and Princess Leia.

Eldo was completely speechless. He'd been led into a room full of people whose lives
were nothing short of legendary; he felt like an insect of some kind, so small was he
compared to them. Too shocked to even be embarrassed that they were laughing at his expense.

His mouth worked, but the only words he could form were, "Wha... why?"

Conversation had already sprung up from the others, so the tactical commander waved
Eldo over to an empty seat near him. A grin rested on his face, the sort that only those of
Corellian descent can pull off. "I doubt you need me to list the resumes of everyone
gathered here in this room."

Eldo knew it was true. Between the assembled group in the room, there were four in
the immediate area in space when a Death Star was destroyed, years of service to the New
Republic, minds that had all been devising strategies and counterstrategies since before he
was even conceived. He shook his head.

"I'm sure you're also wondering why you're here among such a group," the older man
continued. Eldo nodded. "Not everyone in here was so well-known, once. Luke, Han, Leia and
I happened to be there when the first Death Star blew. Luke happened to blow it up. Wes was
on Hoth, and with Rogue Squadron for a long time. Tycho was part of the final run on the
second Death Star. So was I. Gavin's cousin died at Yavin, and he followed in his cousin's
footsteps, eventually becoming Rogue Leader; he still is, as you know. Corran was part of
Rogue when it reformed, then he went and found out he was a Jedi."

He blinked, stared stupidly at his commanding officer, too in shock to even begin to
grasp what was being said.

"We also all had to suffer some sort of hardship, either during or after we became
famous." General Antilles gestured to his left.

Colonel Celchu grinned. "I got captured, then after I was free, they put me on trial
for treason."

"I had to babysit Wedge's kids," the other Colonel said, drawing a laugh from the
others.

"Hey, you stole mine!" Captain Janson protested. Then he shuddered. "I got assigned
to training squadron duty." He looked over to the Jedi, his face lit up with a smile.

"My hand was cut off. By my father, Darth Vader."

"Booster Terrik is my father-in-law."

"I got tortured by Darth Vader. Then thrown in carbonite."

"They made me Chief of State for a while."

The not-quite-retired starfighter pilot turned back to Eldo with a sympathetic look.
"This was the best we could come up with on short notice."

Again his mouth worked, and the only words that came out were "Wha... why?"

"Davip, you crashed a Super Star Destroyer into a Yuuzhan Vong worldship, destroying
them both. After this war is over, that's something people are going to talk about."

Suddenly there were mugs of Corellian brandy in everyone's hands, and that was the
last thing Eldo would remember happening at the gathering.

Later, when he staggered back to his room, right before passing out onto the bed, he
remembered what had been said to him. "I'm one of the good old boys now," he said to the
empty room, and then sleep took him.

*** (THE END)

Notes:

An interesting challenge this has been, setting out to write an NJO-based story that is not
AU in the least. Even more interesting considering that there are quite a few books to go
yet. I couldn't really include anything that might later be contradicted in an NJO novel, so
as much as I wanted to, I couldn't have Eldo brought in on the Goddess gag. I figure he
probably found out while drunk and forgot. The net result is the same, anyway.

The Twin Suns pretty much wrote themselves in. I needed a few eccentric people to talk to
Eldo before the 'party', and they were the only ones who were minor enough that I figured I
didn't have to worry about much in terms of details about them coming down the line later.

Hopefully I have also accomplished a personal goal of writing an NJO fic that is neither AU,
nor romance, but still a story worth reading. Comments of any sort or form would be
appreciated greatly.