Disclaimer- Alias was created by JJ Abrams. Nothing in this story was made up by me unless you count the clerk at the airport. The Song "A Thousand Miles" is by Vanessa Carlton.
A/N: This is my first and possibly only song fic. To be honest I've never really been a huge fan of writing them (I like reading them, though) but when I was listening to this song the other day it suddenly hit me how perfect it was for an Alias fic. So, enjoy :-)
*Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm homebound*
I pounded down the busy streets of Taipei, trying to fight back merciless tears. Every face I saw reminded me of Vaughn, who just a few hours ago was alive and well. I sighed shakily and headed to the airport.
*Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd*
Pushing through the bustles of people outside the airport, I made it to the desk and said, in the clerk's language, "11:30 flight to Los Angeles. Standby."
"Are you okay, Miss?" the attendant asked at seeing me staring of into space. I nodded, my thoughts still distant.
Vaughn…
CHORUS-
*And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by?
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…tonight.*
How could I go on without him? And he never even knew…I never got the chance to tell him. I loved him. It was against the rules, but who the Hell cared? How could it be prevented? Now, standing there, I wondered if I had gotten the chance to, would I have told him? If I could turn back the clocks? Not that it matters. It's not possible. But at this point I would've tried anything to hear his sweet voice again.
*It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever think of me.*
I took the ticket and headed off to the gate to board. Lifting my chin, I saw the line of little shops and restaurants lining the airport hallways. Another tear ran down my cheek as I tore my vision of the painful reminders that had caught my eye. A Slush-O stand, a pizza shop, and a sports merchandise store. In the window display was a sweatshirt. A hockey sweatshirt with the name "HOWE" printed on the back. Vaughn idolized Gordie Howe. He said he was the greatest hockey player who ever lived. Thinking of him and remembering him, I wondered if he would've felt the same pain and grief if I had died. Did he… had he felt the same way about me as I felt about him? Had he ever loved me?
*Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in
Your precious memory.*
Nothing made sense anymore. My world was falling apart and it had me to blame. My mother is "The Man." My best friend has been dragged into the Hell I'd worked so hard to protect him from. The man I loved was dead. All because of me. I didn't deserve to see Vaughn again anyway.
(Chorus again)
*And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I've fallen…*
I hurried past the shops and symbols of Vaughn to the gate. Visions and memories still plagued my mind. Visions of Vaughn…Michael, struggling in the water, knowing the end was near and me powerless to stop it. I knew Vaughn wouldn't want me to live like this. He would want me to move on and forget him. But he wasn't around to find out that I couldn't, was he? Besides, I didn't want to forget him. How could I? Still, the sadness had gotten to me and I felt like I could collapse at any moment.
*Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm homebound.
Staring blankly ahead
Making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd.*
As I headed down the jet aisle to my row, I felt everyone's eyes on me. I knew what they saw. I strange, lonely looking girl with electric blue hair, her eyes pink and swollen and her mascara running. At least I had found a change of clothes from that stripper look, but I'd forgotten about the wig. Damn. No one asked me what was wrong, but it wasn't hard to see that it had to do with a man. I tried to smile faintly and sat down, gazing out the window.
*And I still need you.
And I still miss you.
And now I wonder…
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…tonight.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?*
Could there be life without Vaughn? A question I had never needed to ask before. I knew I couldn't dwell on this forever. Forever's a long time, and this was just one night. If I was like this on my first night without him, how would I get through the rest of my life? Watching the buildings shrink below me and the vast, blue black sky grow, I very briefly considered what it would be like to jump. Then I wouldn't have to wait a lifetime…
*Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…
If I could just hold you…*
Five hours later, I awoke on the plane to find that we had landed and I was back in L.A. My eyes were still partially glued shut with tears and sleep, and my vision was still blurred. I took a deep breath and stood, stretching and rubbing my pained joints. During my sleep and dreams I had realized, life could go on. And I could handle being patient to see him again. He was worth the wait. But just as I was leaving the plane, someone exiting right behind me placed a hand on my shoulder. "Sydney…"
I turned slowly, catching my breath. I shuttered in happiness and disbelief at what I saw.
*Tonight…*
Somehow, though it didn't matter at that moment, he had found me. He was alive to watch over me still. My guardian angel, tonight and forever.
***********************************************************************
A/N: hehe. Cute? Tell me what you think. Also, kudos to anyone who can find the movie connection in this fic. What I mean is, what was mentioned that also was mentioned in a movie starring one of the characters? (hint- It's a Michael Vartan movie)
